03x03 - Watch Out

[bunniefuu]

SERENA: Fred, stop!

NARRATOR: Previously on The Handmaid's Tale...

You let them do that to Serena.

We all have our roles to play.

Serena needed to be reminded of hers.

Did you try to find me?

I tried so hard.

Why didn't you try harder?

What did you do?

I did what was best for my child.

You're getting out of Gilead.

Have a nice life!

- Don't get caught!
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

You gave her to a m*rder*r!

[SOBBING]

I sent her away, Fred.

It was my choice.

I drove you to desperation.

It's the Handmaid.

You're sweet on her, aren't you?

It's dangerous, my friend.

- You're helping her escape?
- Yes.

She just needs a safe place to wait.

It's your funeral.

OFJOSEPH: Come on!

LAWRENCE: Women like you are like children.

Asking for too much, taking whatever you want.

Damn the consequences.

Who's in the basement?

Just Beth.

We saw a rat.

- She screamed.
- That's a lie.

I knew it was mistake taking you in.

[OFJOSEPH GRUNTS]

LAWRENCE: Clean it up.

[PANTING]

- [WIND BLOWING]
- [NOOSES CREAKING]

JUNE: Heresy.

That's what they're hanging for.

Not for being part of the Resistance

because officially,

there is no resistance.

Not for helping people escape

because officially,

there is no such thing as escape.

They hang for being heretics,

not martyrs.

Martyrs inspire.

Heretics are just stupid.

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Was I being stupid?

[DISTORTED AMBIENT NOISE]

[WIND HOWLING]

I don't think Cora's up there.

I don't think Lawrence would do that.

Do you recognize anybody?

ALMA: It's impossible to tell.

They're starting to smell.

Looks like the same batch from yesterday.

And the day before.

Maybe they're done.

With Marthas.

Who's next?

GUARDIAN: No talking!

And, you, go join your walking partner.

JANINE: Okay.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

JUNE: If I'm going to survive this,

I'll need allies.

Allies with power.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[EERIE MUSIC]

JUNE: To be a man watched by women,

it must be entirely strange.

To have them watching him all the time.

To have them flinch when he moves.

To have them wondering,

"What is he going to do next?

Does he like me?

Will he keep me?

Am I safe here?"

Cora wasn't.

Blessed be the fruit.

May the Lord open.

Got the groceries.
Anything else I can do?

I got it.

[SIGHS]

Could you plate the pastries, please?

No problem.

Why are they coming here?

I don't know.

My old Commander said Lawrence won't go to meetings.

They want to talk to him, they have to come here.

That's how powerful he is.

Hmm.

Thanks for the insight.

[LOUD CHOPPING]

- [SPILLING]
- LAWRENCE: Oh!

Sienna!

Sienna!

[SIENNA SIGHS]

Go.

I went to the square.

I don't think Cora's up there.

[SIGHS]

So, she's on a bus to The Colonies?

Have you been getting any messages at all?

Anyone who knows anything is probably up on those gallows.

LAWRENCE: Beth, refill.

Coming.

[SIGHS]

He's testing us.

We're all disposable.

[DROPS Kn*fe]

Are Marthas supposed to be clean?

Would you consider that a basic criteria for the job?

[WHIMPERING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Can I... get the door for you, sir?

I don't know. Are you... capable of solving problems?

Of making decisions?

Do you know what the penalty is?

For Handmaids who open front doors?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

I'm actually asking.

I don't know.

What do you think the penalty should be?

What would be fair?

Forget it, forget it.

I guess you're not...

capable.

[LAWRENCE SIGHS]

[MEN CHATTERING]

WARREN: The shipment of females from Chicago arrived yesterday.

Well, we have needs in the agricultural Colonies.

They're not worthy of The Colonies.

LAWRENCE: I'm looking at a... utility maximization framework with a deteriorating labor supply.

I need workers.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Blessed be the fruit.

May the Lord open.

I hope you and Mrs. Waterford are well.

Do you?

Is Serena okay?

Well, after what you put us through, I'm not sure.

OFJOSEPH: She's tough.

She'll be okay.

So.

How is your... new house treating you?

OFJOSEPH: I pray that...

[INHALES]

God will make me worthy of my new Commander.

Oh, I'm sure you'll... prove yourself.

OFJOSEPH: What do you know about him?

WATERFORD: He's...

an interesting man.

Instrumental in Gilead's creation.

Our visionary.

Mmm.

What else?

[WATERFORD SCOFFS]

We've always found him a bit hard to read.

Well, if you can't read him, I don't know who can.

Lawrence is a survivor.

Aren't we all, sir?

WATERFORD: He is particularly well suited to it.

He's not sentimental, not like me.

I never found you... overly sentimental, sir.

You were merciful.

You know, after everything...

I'm still alive.

I will always be grateful to you for that.

But I am not in your house anymore.

I need you to tell me anything about Lawrence that you think could help me.

He does not like to be bored.

[LAWRENCE CLEARS THROAT]

But I guess you...

knew that already.

Blessed day, Commander Lawrence.

It's a privilege to be in your home again.

LAWRENCE: Yeah, I always hated commuting.

You two know each other.

Oh...

Yes.

You used to be Of...

Fred.

Do you miss it?

WATERFORD: Well...

She's Ofjoseph now.

I should let you go.

Under His eye.

Sure.

You working hard?

Yes.

At what?

You don't have to answer that.

[GLOOMY PIANO MUSIC]

SERENA: I'm not cold, Mom.

PAMELA: Oh, yes, you are.

Our prayer circle's coming to the house today.

I'll try and stay out of your way.

No. No, they all want to see you.

What an honor for them.

I don't want to hang out with your friends, Mom.

PAMELA: You're an excellent conversationalist.

It wouldn't be a real visit if I didn't get to show you off.

I don't have any clothes.

Mrs. Manning gave us a dress that she's outgrown.

I think it will fit.

RITA: This won't be too bad.

I'm gonna take it up a bit.

- Fix that neckline.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[GASPS]

There you are.

Praise be.

You look beautiful.

SIENNA: Lawrence wants you pouring the Commanders' drinks

instead of me.

Why?

He said I wasn't pouring fast enough.

CALHOUN: Pages ten through detail the expansion of our training facility in Fort Stevens.

WARREN: To support the troop surge in Chicago.

CALHOUN: Phase one of the surge.

We need to prepare ourselves for more troop deployments down the line.

WARREN: One last measured push, and Chicago should roll up the last of the insurgent strongholds, no?

CALHOUN: The insurgency's contagious.

We need to look at starting a steady, sustained bombing campaign.

No, there is value to be mined there.

Children, fertile women.

Move on to the next.

CALHOUN: On page , you'll see a timeline depicting a series of district-wide Salvagings beginning next week.

COMMANDER: I thought we discussed sending them to The Colonies?

CALHOUN: The Colonies are a slap on the wrist.

WARREN: They are merely women.

CALHOUN: Women under the sway of t*rrorists.

We don't want our own women becoming restless, do we?

Salvagings are an effective tool of instruction.

It's been too long since the last one.

We know women can inflate their abilities and... think they belong in places...they don't.

But they can also be put to use.

And they can be fun.

[COMMANDERS SNICKER]

Ofjoseph?

We're... puzzling out how to assess an individual's value in the world as it pertains to gender.

[COMMANDER CLEARS THROAT]

Weren't you a book editor, once upon a time?

Yes, sir.

Are there any books on the topic?

OFJOSEPH: Yes, sir.

Many.

LAWRENCE: Sex Differences in Cognitive Abilities.

The Descent of Man.

An oldie but a goodie.

That's... That's what you were thinking of, right?

I think I have it here somewhere.

Uh, would you get it for me?

It's on top of the bookcase to the right of the door.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Oh, the... stack on the left.

Third book down.

Yellow lettering.

Good job.

Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?

LAWRENCE: No, I'm good.

You're done.

See? Women can be useful.

[COMMANDERS LAUGH]

[KNOCKING]

RITA: Your mother has a lot of friends.

SERENA: She's an excellent conversationalist.

RITA: I made something for you.

Here.

[CLEARS THROAT]

You will get through this, ma'am.

By His hand.

What's left of it.

DANIEL: Though the Earth give way, though the mountains fall into the sea...

PRAYER CIRCLE: God is our refuge and strength.

DANIEL: Dear Lord, please heal my wife.

For my beloved is mine and I am hers.

PRAYER CIRCLE: God is our refuge and strength.

DANIEL: And the Lord shall guide thee continually and satisfy thy soul in drought.

Make fat thy bones.

PRAYER CIRCLE: Show us Thy mercy, O Lord.

DANIEL: Thank you for your prayers.

Is anyone else in need of comfort?

Serena?

Dear Lord, Serena Joy has suffered a great loss.

Please give her relief from her distress.

Be merciful to her and hear her prayers.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

PRAYER CIRCLE: He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

DANIEL: Psalm : , please.

[SAD PIANO MUSIC]

Be merciful, O Lord,

for I am faint.

Heal me, O Lord, for my soul

is in anguish.

DANIEL: Dear Lord, we pray for the safe return of Serena's child.

And we pray for her marriage to heal.

PRAYER CIRCLE: For love is strong as death.

DANIEL: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

PRAYER CIRCLE: For the husband is the head of the wife.

DANIEL: Even as Christ is the head of the church, so let the Wives be to their own husbands in everything.

PRAYER CIRCLE: Let every wife see that she revere her husband.

This is the word of the Lord.

WATERFORD: When we first were married, I'd come home and open the door but just a cr*ck.

I'd wait.

I'd listen for your footsteps.

[CHUCKLES]

I'd push open the door a little more.

I'd get a glimpse of your hair, long and loose.

[CHUCKLES]

I'd... dole out to myself little helpings of you, like a kid with dessert.

The kind of man I had become.

Married to a woman like you.

Coming home to you.

Other men, I...

[SIGHS]

... felt sorry for.

They had nothing to work for, nothing to fight for.

They didn't get to have you.

A Commander is... the head of the household.

The house is... what he holds.

To have and to hold, till death do us part.

I may not be a perfect man but I... will try to be better.

If I lose you, I lose everything.

JEZEBEL: That sounds good.

Would you like to run through it again?

JUNE: I compose myself.

[LOW, DRAMATIC MUSIC]

My self is a thing I must now compose

as one composes a speech.

I'm not proud of myself for this.

Or for any of it.

[KNOCKS]

LAWRENCE: What?

[DOOR CLOSES]

LAWRENCE: You think an accountant could make a good cook?

[SIGHS]

Yes, sir.

[SIGHS]

Binders full of women.

I thought you might like some tea.

[LAWRENCE SIGHS]

LAWRENCE: Thanks.

Long day?

LAWRENCE: My work is just beginning.

At least the people are gone.

[LAWRENCE EXHALES]

OFJOSEPH: It's tiring having people around.

[TEA POURING]

Does it seem like that would be particularly difficult for someone like me?

Oh, I don't really know what you're like, sir.

Do you consider yourself good at managing people?

Not particularly, no.

You seem like you'd be good at making friends.

Good at influencing people.

Good at intimacy.

Thank you.

Did this really work on Fred?

[LAWRENCE CHUCKLES]

Not exactly an intellectual giant.

But, then again, neither are you.

[LAWRENCE SIGHS]

Perhaps you don't know me well enough yet... sir.

Here's what I don't get.

If women don't want to be defined by their bodies, why are they always using them to get what they want?

OFJOSEPH: Maybe they aren't.

Maybe men are just too easily distracted.

Speaking of the Waterfords, you really mucked up that house, didn't you?

Had Fred demoted, Serena defingered, baby baby-napped.

You left the place literally in ashes.

Do you think they got what they deserved?

No one in Gilead gets what they deserve, sir.

How could they not realize how... transactional you are?

OFJOSEPH: I did what I had to do.

You think if you get me to like you, I'll help you?

I think that you might try.

I think you might try to do the right thing.

What do you know about the right thing?

I know you helped Emily escape with that baby.

And I know you let the Marthas run a resistance network out of your house.

You have to let the rabble-rousers blow off a little steam or they'll smash everything to bits.

Do you want to know why I helped Emily?

I think you felt guilty.

I think you felt sorry for her.

You want me to feel guilty and sorry for you?

Do you?

I helped Emily... because she is unnaturally smart and could be useful to the world one day.

If you were smart, you would have gotten on that truck.

You know why I couldn't.

I think I care more about your daughter than you do.

I'm saving the planet for her.

I'm replenishing the human race for her.

What are you doing?

I am trying to be her mother!

She has a mother.

You met Mrs. Mackenzie.

She's a lovely woman.

She never stole anybody's husband.

Do you know that she organized a thousand food baskets for orphans in Africa back when there were orphans?

What did you ever do to help anyone?

Except edit esoteric, useless books that no one was ever gonna read instead of picking up your sick daughter from school.

Useless.

OFJOSEPH: You wrote esoteric books.

You did that.

God.

It must be scary.

Huh?

Seeing the numbers on those spreadsheets turn into real people?

Real people being ex*cuted?

Knowing that if no one had read your books, we would all be better off.

It must be hell being a man like that.

Far worse than useless.

You know what I get it.

I get why you would do this.

I suppose you would hole yourself up in a house like this, playing games with people's heads, doing a good deed or two every once in a while, so that you can f*cking sleep at night.

How tempting it is to... invent a humanity... for anyone at all.

Come on.

Let's take a drive.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[RADIO CHATTER]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[BEEPING IN DISTANCE]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[WOMEN COUGHING]

There will be no Salvagings.

They're bound for The Colonies tomorrow.

[RADIO CHATTER]

So they'll die anyways?

LAWRENCE: All save five.

I was able to... requisition five to serve as Marthas.

Good for you.

Five is better than none.

Make them all Marthas.

We only have five openings.

[WOMAN COUGHING]

You get to choose...who is worthy

of becoming a Martha.

[EERIE MUSIC]

You'll have all the information you need.

Names, ages, occupations, academic attainments, moral stains.

That's dumb.

Who gets to define morality?

Just choose the best people for the job.

[COUGHING CONTINUES]

No.

I thought you might enjoy being useful, for once.

None of them deserves to die.

LAWRENCE: What if I told you, if you don't choose, they all die?

I am not responsible for their deaths.

You are.

Gilead is.

A technical distinction that won't mean anything to these women.

But I can see it's important to you.

And that's more important than anything else, isn't it?

I'm not doing it.

I won't.

LAWRENCE: Close it.

[CRYING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

PAMELA: Oh!

Oh, you're all wet.

You've gotten too used to the mild climate in the city.

She's forgotten how we must battle the elements out here.

Why don't you go upstairs, dear, and change?

I'm fine.

You need to get out of those wet things.

No, I'm fine.

Let Clara fix you some warm pumpkin soup.

Clara, can you please excuse us?

I really wish that you hadn't invited those people over.

I'm sorry, dear.

You told them everything about me and about my marriage.

PAMELA: You're right.

I shouldn't have done that.

SERENA: Why did you do it?

Now that I know, I...

won't do it again.

What can I make you to eat, dear?

SERENA: Stop it!

You want me to go back to Fred.

PAMELA: I only want you to be happy.

I need you to know what it was like between us...

No.

And the things that we did.

Those things are private.

That's because you don't want to know.

Because none of it matters.

Look at you, all the gifts you've been given.

But you need everything to be exactly how you want.

A spoiled little girl.

[PLATE CLANGS]

[UTENSILS CLATTER]

I'm sorry.

You know there's no place in this world for you without Fred.

[QUIETLY CRYING]

You need to take a deep breath and see things.

You're a beautiful woman.

And Fred, you and Fred together, the Waterfords?

[GASPS]

What a fine couple.

That doesn't mean anything.

PAMELA: It can.

It can mean everything, if you let it.

[SOBBING] Oh, God.

Stop, Serena. Enough drama!

[CONTINUES SOBBING]

It's the worst thing in the world to watch your child in pain.

The worst pain any mother could bear.

No, it isn't.

What?

It's not the worst.

It might help you to stop indulging those feelings.

The self-pity.

You gave that baby away.

[SERENA CONTINUES SOBBING]

And it wasn't even yours.

I'm going to draw you a hot bath.

A hot bath will help.

[CONTINUES SOBBING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

BETH: Hi.

Hey.

[DOGS BARK IN DISTANCE]

BETH: You're not here for me.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[FAINT KNOCKING ON DOOR]

How did this happen?

It was my due.

OFJOSEPH: So you're a Commander now and you can go get Hannah.

You can get me out.

NICK: I'm sorry.

Why?

Why can't you?

Is there something wrong with Lawrence?

OFJOSEPH: Lawrence is a psychopath.

What do you know about him?

NICK: I don't know anything.

- Can you find out?
- Not really.

He's too high up.

What can you do?

Can you do anything?

What are you good for?

I'm getting deployed.

To the front.

[SAD PIANO MUSIC]

Chicago.

You'll get k*lled.

I wanted to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR LOCKS]

[SAD PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES]

SIENNA: You have a visitor in the parlor.

Blessed be the fruit.

Hi.

[DOOR CLOSES]

How are you?

Serena?

Do you think about her?

Every minute.

How do you stop?

[SIGHS]

[SERENA SNIFFLES]

How do you remember her?

How do you see her?

In the bath.

[LAUGHS TEARFULLY]

She loved the water.

[CHUCKLES]

She's gonna be a swimmer.

SERENA: Remember how she used to raise her hand?

It's like she had a point to make.

That's the politician in her.

I think she gets that from you.

She isn't mine.

OFJOSEPH: Serena, only a mother could do what you did.

If you can just think...

If you can just think about all the other mothers who have...

Who have had their children taken away from them.

Like you.

There has to be something we can do.

[SNIFFLES]

That isn't why I came here.

OFJOSEPH: We can help each other.

We cannot count on them.

They hate us, Serena.

They are not on our side.

I tried.

You have to try harder.

Um...

I'm not that person anymore.

OFJOSEPH: You're scared.

Use it.

Maybe we're stronger than we think we are.

["HOW DOES IT FEEL?" BY ROY HARPER]

♪♪

♪ How does it feel to be completely unreal ♪

♪♪

♪ How does it feel to be a voter ♪

♪♪

♪ How does it feel to be a voluntary heel ♪

♪♪

♪ I wonder who's it is ♪

I made my choices.

♪ I see you queuing up outside ♪

JUNE: There was a time when women

were able to choose.

♪ Saint Peter's gate ♪

JUNE: "We were a society dying",

Aunt Lydia would say,

"of too much choice".

"We know the sacrifices you are expected to make",

she'd say.

"It is hard when men revile you".

♪♪

♪ How does it feel to be out on your own ♪

♪ How does it feel to be thinking ♪

♪ And how does it feel to be out on the run ♪

♪♪

♪ With the mindless world at your heels ♪

We have five new Marthas for the Resistance: an engineer, an IT tech, a journalist, a lawyer, and a thief.

BETH: How do you know?

I chose them.

♪ Cos they got me so high tied I feel ♪

♪ Like most of me has d*ed ♪

BETH: Upstairs now.

Eleanor's sheets need changing.

♪ And it's real ♪

OFJOSEPH: Hey, Sienna.

♪♪

We survived another day.

♪ And outside on the dragon ♪

♪ And inside in the cold ♪

JUNE: Mother, I think,

wherever you may be,

can you hear me?

♪♪

♪ Daddy's just getting old ♪

JUNE: You wanted a women's culture.

Well, now there is one.

It isn't what you meant,

but it exists.

♪ Please let me in I have no sin ♪

♪ but you know I'm not real ♪

♪♪

♪ And how does it feel with a white flag in your fist ♪

♪ How does it feel to have two faces ♪

♪♪

♪ How does it feel with your God ♪

- ♪ strapped to your wrist ♪
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪ And him leading you such a chase ♪

JUNE: And here's what we do.

We watch them.

The men.

We study them.

We feed them.

We please them.

We can make them feel strong

or weak.

We know them that well.

♪♪

We know their worst nightmares.

♪♪

And, with a bit of practice,

that's what we'll become.

♪♪

Nightmares.

One day,

when we're ready,

we're coming for you.

♪♪

Just wait.

- [SONG ENDS]
- [GENTLE OCEAN WAVES]