02x01 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

[bunniefuu]

[EVE.]

I believe there is a female assassin operating internationally.

A woman in London is leaving that apartment to find you.

- What's her name?

- Eve Polastri.

I'd say she scores high on the psychopathy scale.

Well, that's a good start, then, isn't it?

I'm on her tail.

Call me, I don't want to lose eyes on her.

[EVE SCREAMS.]

Bill!

[EVE.]

She was in my house.

- Just shut up!

- [EVE SCREAMS.]

I just wanted to have dinner with you!

I know you're a psychopath.

[KONSTANTIN.]

You go in, k*ll Nadia and come out.

[NADIA.]

The British, they're going to give them everything.

[KENNY.]

I'm going to get into the prison security cameras.

[EVE.]

Where are they taking her?

Oh, my God.

How many more people have to die before you complete this level?

OK, I've got a lead.

[EVE.]

I think about you all the time, your eyes and your mouth and what you feel when you k*ll someone.

You found me.

Well done.

- You can't.

- I can.

[GASPS.]

I really liked you.

Oh!

Oh!

Wait there!

[b*llet RICOCHETS.]

[EVE.]

Put that down!

I'm coming out.

[EVE PANTING.]

Oh.

[ELECTRONIC WHIRRING.]

[DOOR BUZZES OPEN.]

[DOOR SQUEAKS.]

[POUNDING ON DOOR UPSTAIRS.]

[POUNDING CONTINUES.]

[MADAME TATTEVIN.]

[g*nsh*t, HEAVY THUD.]

[EVE WHIMPERS.]

[PARAMEDICS TALK IN RUSSIAN.]

[EVE BREATHES RAPIDLY.]

[HYPERVENTILATING.]

- [MOBILE RINGTONE.]

- [GASPS.]

Oh, dammit.

Oh, no.

- [RINGING.]

- Carolyn It's not that I don't Appreciate It's not that I don't care It's not that I don't Care what you say [DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]

[PHONE RINGS.]

It's not you It's not you It's not you It's not you It's me [PHONE RINGS.]

- Hello.

- [CAROLYN.]

I know where you are.

- Carolyn.

- Get back here now.

[LINE GOES DEAD.]

I think I might have k*lled her.

[DISTANT SIREN BLARES.]

Congratulations.

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH]

[BREATHES HEAVILY.]

[YELLS.]

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH.]

[SECURITY INSTRUCTIONS IN FRENCH.]

Shoes and belts, please.

Shoes and belts, please.

Do you have anything in your pockets?

Any jewelry or keys?

[SECURITY INSTRUCTIONS IN FRENCH.]

Shoes and belts, please.

Do you have anything in your pockets, any jewelry or keys?

No?

Shoes and belts, thank you.

Madame?

Hey!

Hey, Madame!

Ooh!

Come on!

[BREATHES HEAVILY.]

[MUFFLED P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT.]

[SECURITY INSTRUCTIONS IN FRENCH.]

[DEVICE BLEEPING.]

Madame, you cannot just go and leave your items on the belt.

[STUTTERS.]

Excusez-moi.

I had to go to the loo.

It was an emergency.

I had a bad oyster.

Okay.

[INSTRUCTIONS IN FRENCH TO RELEASE BAG.]

Oh, merci.

Merci.

Oui.

Shoes and belts, please.

[SECURITY INSTRUCTIONS IN FRENCH.]

[PEN CLICKING.]

Sorry Sorry.

Sorry.

Were you saving this seat for someone?

No, no, please.

I'm sorry.

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT.]

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Don't panic.

I know how you're feeling.

Exactly how you're feeling.

I don't I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you do.

Who are you?

Just a friend.

It's okay.

You're okay.

I was just like you.

H-How do you How do you know me?

Have you thought about meetings?

Oh, my God!

- I know, it can be - Oh, you think I'm a junkie?

- I really don't think it's appropriate - I'm Oh, my God!

[LAUGHS.]

Don't worry about it.

I get it.

[LAUGHS.]

Oh, my God!

You may not think you have a problem now.

[LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY.]

Most addicts don't.

But it takes one to know one.

Okay.

[LAUGHS.]

Uh-huh.

Okay, thank you.

[LAUGHS.]

[P. A. SYSTEM CHIMES.]

[SONG IN FRENCH.]

[HORN BEEPS.]

[HORN BEEPS.]

[HORN BLARES.]

[HORN BLARES, TIRES SCREECH.]

[ENGINE OFF.]

[WOMAN GASPS IN FRENCH.]

[MAN SWEARS IN FRENCH.]

[TAXI DRIVER BREATHES HEAVILY.]

[BYSTANDERS MURMUR.]

You don't know me Drive faster!

[TIRES SCREECH, HORN BLARES.]

- This is your fault.

- No, I didn't see you.

You jumped in front of my car.

You really need an ambulance.

You want to explain to them how you ran over me on purpose?

Oh, my God!

God, help me!

How long till we get there?

Er maybe ten minutes.

Do you know how to dispose of a body?

[WAILS.]

No!

Under your skin Beneath your breath as you sigh [KEYPAD BLEEPS.]

[TIRES SCREECH.]

[GUARD YELLS OUT IN FRENCH.]

[ALARM IN BACKGROUND.]

[P. A. .]

Mesdames et messieurs, we will shortly be arriving at London St.

Pancras.

Please take all your belongings with you when leaving the train and keep them with you at all times when on the station.

[EXHALES.]

[GROANS.]

[WINCES.]

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH.]

How long have I been here?

Oh, you're not French?

We couldn't find any I. D.

How long?

A few hours.

[EXHALES HEAVILY.]

What dr*gs have you given me?

Er painkillers.

We had to clean you up, stitch your injury.

We will start you on a course of antibiotics immediately.

How bad is it?

Your wound is deep but it isn't penetrating any organs.

With antibiotics and dressing, it should heal.

Has anyone come here?

Anyone turned up here looking for me?

I don't think so, no.

You know, with an injury like this, I'm obliged to call the police.

- I'm not safe.

- What do you mean?

The man who did this to me My husband.

He's a detective with the Police Judiciaire.

If he knows I am here, he will k*ll me.

I can ask the team to keep your admission off the records for your own safety.

But when I get off my shift, the next consultant may feel differently.

I'm sorry.

When does your shift end?

This evening.

Can I have one?

Oh, they are normally reserved for the children.

Oh, stickers!

[EVE.]

"Poignarde", that's what I said.

Stabbed.

Nothing new?

You sure?

Merci.

[SIGHS.]

[SIGHS.]

[WINCES.]

What are these?

Hey, do you speak English?

- A little.

- What is your name?

Gabriel.

What happened to you, Gabriel?

- Car accident.

- [VILLANELLE GASPS.]

- Did it break your bones?

- Yeah.

And they had to put skin from my leg onto my face.

That's gross.

- What is yours?

- s*ab wound.

- It's really gooey.

- No way!

A man stabbed you?

A woman stabbed me.

- Women don't s*ab.

- I know.

It surprised me too.

[WOUND SQUELCHES.]

But she did it to show me how much she cared about me.

- That's stupid.

- No, it isn't.

Sometimes when you love someone, you will do crazy things.

[HE SIGHS.]

Gabriel?

Can you walk?

Yes, but it's painful.

- My hip has pins - Great.

Do you want to play a game?

[KIM WILDE.]

"Kids in America" plays on radio We're the kids in America Whoa-oh.

We're the kids in America Whoa-oh.

Everybody live For the music-go-round Bright lights, the music gets faster Look, boy, don't check On your watch Not another glance I'm not leaving, now, Honey, not a chance [DOOR SLAMS.]

Hey.

We're the kids in America - How was your work trip?

- Fine, fine.

It's boring.

- That's a lot of vegetables.

- Yeah.

[SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO.]

- [RADIO OFF.]

- Hey!

Can we talk about what happened when you pissed off?

I wanted to make you dinner to apologize for being a d*ck.

You were kind of a d*ck.

Well, good news, I was fired!

So we can go back to just being normal.

Well, you certainly seem completely normal.

What are you cooking?

Nigella's roast chicken with lemon and rosemary stuffing.

The wine is in the fridge and the chicken is almost done.

- Eve?

- Yeah?

You mean this chicken?

[PHONE RINGS.]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]

[PHONE BLEEPS AND STOPS RINGING.]

[PHONE RINGS AGAIN.]

[NIKO.]

Eve, it's ringing.

Are you gonna answer it?

You've been in the bath for more than an hour.

[PHONE BLEEPS AND STOPS RINGING.]

Is everything okay?

Uh-huh.

- Has something happened?

- No.

[TEARFULLY.]

Nothing happened.

You can tell me, Eve.

I I I can't.

Are you in trouble?

- I don't know.

- [PHONE RINGS.]

[INHALES SHARPLY.]

- Don't.

- I have to.

I'm going to eat.

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING.]

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH.]

Gabriel.

Come on, give it to me.

Give it to me.

- Did you get it?

- Yeah.

- Did anyone see you?

- I don't think so.

[SHE GASPS.]

Nice work.

You're really good at stealing.

You should do it more.

- You're funny.

- Yes.

I am funny.

[CLOCK TICKING.]

[DOOR CLOSES.]

[PHONE RINGS.]

- Hello.

- [TELEMARKETER.]

Hello?

Mrs.

Polastri?

It's Armando here from Rushmore Windows & Glazing.

I'm calling to talk to you about our new promotion.

- Do you have time to talk?

- Yes.

Tell me about your windows, Armando.

Tell me everything about them.

Uh really?

Okay.

Wow.

So, Rushmore has a new deal on.

Oh, really?

Now, do you happen to know what type of windows you have?

Are they sash, bay, double-glazed?

Because at Rushmore Windows, we specialize in a patented draft-excluding grouting technology.

Some owners are shocked to discover how much heat is wasted [EXCHANGE IN FRENCH.]

What could it be?

That comes to an end [BUZZER SOUNDS.]

Comes to an end I'll tell you what you are What you are, what you are I'll tell you what you are What you are, what you are I'll tell you what you are What you are, what you are I'll tell you what you are What you are [MONITOR BEEPING.]

[WOMAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH.]

- Ugh.

- Oh.

[GROANS SOFTLY.]

Ohh!

- Mm-hm.

- [GROANS SOFTLY.]

- Mm-hm.

- [EXCLAIMS HAPPILY.]

Oh!

[SOBS.]

Ssh.

Ssh!

Danger burning hot Danger burning hot Do you have any money, Gabriel?

No.

Do your parents have any money?

Are they coming to visit today?

They d*ed in the accident.

That's not helpful to me, Gabriel.

You don't look very good.

I'm f [OLIVER.]

it would not eat me.

[LAUGHS.]

It would.

- No.

- It would.

[LAUGHS.]

Ah, Eve, this is Oliver.

- Oliver, say hello to Eve.

- Hello.

Would you go and play on that swing over there and just show Eve how high you can go?

[CHILDREN LAUGHING AND TALKING.]

My father used to come to this park all the time.

To the men's bathing ponds just over there.

Very popular in the '50s with spies.

Ideal place for a sensitive conversation.

And to have sex with boys, of course, which would have been an added bonus for Daddy.

Paris.

- Carolyn - No, don't apologize.

It's a waste of my time and yours.

A sudden urge to see the Mona Lisa, was it?

I do hope so.

I had a feeling I'm sorry, I went to find Villanelle.

I thought it might be that.

And did you?

No.

I found her apartment, she wasn't there.

She wasn't there?

What's her flat like?

Chic as sh*t.

As I was leaving, some people appeared dressed as paramedics.

They had an ambulance and they sh*t the old woman next door.

The Twelve will have got the cleaners in.

She's on the move, if she's alive.

Any ideas where she might have gone?

Any feelings?

No.

No feelings.

[OLIVER.]

No, I don't want to go!

- Oh, my God!

Carolyn!

- What?

[EVE.]

That man's taking Oliver!

- It's probably his father.

- Wait, isn't he with you?

No, I've never seen him before in my life.

- [DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]

- [SIGHS.]

Thank you.

So, M. I.

6 are sending a team over to Villanelle's flat now.

They won't find anything.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if a sweet little married couple have already moved in.

There won't be a trace of her.

Okay, so, well, that's it.

That's what?

Well, it's over.

You You fired me.

Oh, yes, I did.

Um Well, lucky for you, circumstances have changed.

Come on.

[GROANS.]

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH.]

- What time is it?

- Morning.

- [VILLANELLE GRUNTS.]

- You snore, you know.

Yeah, well, your parents are dead.

[CHUCKLES.]

Gabriel, do you have any clothes?

Er yes, in there.

Sexy.

[CURTAIN SCRAPES ON RAIL.]

You can look if you want to.

What?

I said . .

you can look under my bandages if you want to.

But you have to tell me how bad it is.

They won't let me look.

Fine.

Ow!

- Cool.

- Is it bad?

Tell me the truth.

- Please.

- You sure?

Yes.

It's It's really bad.

- You look like a pizza.

- What?

Whoa, wait.

Did you lose an eye?

I'm a monster!

You asked me to be honest, Gabriel.

[EXHALES HEAVILY.]

[MIMICS HIM.]

[DOOR SLAMS.]

Why are we here?

Carolyn?

- Carolyn!

- Oh, Julia.

- Ohh!

- [CHUCKLES.]

God, your hair smells delicious.

- Aw.

- Sorry about the traffic jam.

The U. C. H.

morgue's being refurbished.

So we're up to our eyeballs in eyeballs.

- Is this her?

- This is she.

- Beer?

- Why not?

I'm sorry, what's happening?

[BEER BOTTLE IS OPENED.]

I'm afraid this one's been in the ground for a couple of months.

[EVE GASPS.]

[JULIA.]

Forgive the smell.

He has been the tiniest bit exhumed.

Uh can I sit down, please?

I-I am sorry about this.

Can I get you something?

Water?

Whiskey?

[STARTS TO SPEAK.]

A burger?

[CHUCKLES.]

That's the formaldehyde.

The smell of the bodies makes you crave meat.

- [SLURPS THROUGH STRAW.]

- God!

- That was delicious!

- Mm.

[CHUCKLES.]

Better?

Why am I here?

Alister Peel.

Alister Peel, the internet guy?

Really?

Didn't he die, like, a couple of months ago?

He did, of a heart att*ck.

No suspicious circumstances.

- Okay - And then Nadia slipped a note under the door of her prison cell.

The note contained two words; Alister Peel.

And it was addressed to you.

What?

What do you mean, it was addressed to me?

Why would Nadia write to me about Alister Peel?

Why, indeed?

When'd you find out about this?

When were you gonna tell me?

I'm telling you now.

You think he was m*rder*d.

You think it was Yes, so I thought I'd draft in the head of the fan club.

[EXHALES.]

How die he die, exactly?

[JULIA.]

Cardiac arrest.

Caused by arterial air embolism.

Air bubble in the bloodstream makes its way to the heart.

Very hard to trace.

Hm.

Are you going to London now?

Yeah.

- To see your girlfriend?

- Mm-hm.

- What if she stabs you again?

- She won't.

How do you know?

I know her better now.

I know her better than anyone.

Better than she knows herself.

Tssk.

Never trust people on their looks, Gabriel.

You can see scary people a mile away.

It's the good people you have to worry about.

- And do I look scary?

- Your face, yeah.

- Will it get better?

- No, don't think so.

Thank you for telling me.

No one will tell me the truth.

[GABRIEL SOBS.]

Come on, it will be cool.

You can . . get an eyepatch.

I don't want an eyepatch.

I want to look the same as everyone else.

Don't be a drama queen.

I don't want people feeling sorry for me, staring at me.

I hate it.

I want to be normal.

Are you sure?

Normal is boring.

I'm not normal, you know.

But you look normal.

- I know.

- [SNIFFS.]

I wish I'd d*ed in the car like everyone else.

Would you want to spend your whole life like this?

[SNIFFS.]

No.

No, I wouldn't.

It would be sh*t.

[SHE SIGHS.]

[BONE SNAPPING.]

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY.]

He was a recluse, right?

Reclusive, not a recluse.

Antisocial, let's say.

Um, did he have any staff or um I don't know women who came into his house, people he didn't know well?

Prostitutes?

No, I mean, like, chefs or personal trainers or assistants or, I don't know He did have a pedicure.

- What?

- Once a week.

A pedicure?

Don't be sexist, Eve.

Men can look after themselves too.

Well perfect.

Look for a puncture mark on his foot.

[CAROLYN.]

Well done.

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH.]

[ALARM BLARES.]

[P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH.]

[PHONE RINGS.]

Reception.

[CLOCK TICKING.]

So Villanelle.

She could have been in England a couple of months ago and Lord knows, she loves a costume.

What am I doing here, Carolyn, going through the charade of solving your little test?

Well, you're proving yourself useful.

No.

What's going on with Konstantin and Moscow?

And what were you doing talking to Villanelle in that prison?

I mean, who do you even work for?

Are you a part of The Twelve?

What really happened in Paris?

Why was Nadia's note addressed particularly to you?

And why are you and Villanelle so interested in each other?

You see how it works?

- I need to go home.

- Home?

Is that really what you want?

What do people do at home?

I mean, I can't do this.

Whether you work for us or not, she'll come for you.

So what's it to be?

Witness Protection Rochdale?

I can start the paperwork.

What new name would you like?

Come on, Eve, there's no need to pretend.

If she's alive, you need to find her.

Before she finds you.

And she will.

And there's no need to play the reluctant ingenue with me.

Just save that for your husband.

Tell him I forced you to do it.

It'll make it easier.

[FOOTSTEPS CLACKING.]

Bathe in my fire Oh, you're mine [HORN BLARES.]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]

Right, come on.

[GIRL.]

Mum, can I have some chocolate?

Please?

Bathe in the glow [DOOR OPENS.]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]

You know, I've been thinking all day.

And I realized there's no way out of this job.

You need this.

You can't leave.

I don't think so.

- I'm so sorry.

- You don't need to apologize.

Just talk to me, Eve.

Tell me, you can tell me anything.

But not telling me I can't do that.

I can't do it.

So . . are you gonna tell me what's going on?

Please?

I bought a sh*t ton of really expensive windows.

- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]

- Come on.

[CENTRAL LOCKING BLEEPS.]

[ENGINE STARTS.]

[SIGHS.]