02x05 - Smell Ya Later

Episode transcripts for the TV show "k*lling Eve". Aired April 8, 2018 to current.*

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Two woman, Eve who is bored with her job that doesn't fufill her fantasies of being a spy and Villanelle, a talented k*ller are equally obsessed with each other, will go head to head in an epic game of cat and mouse.
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02x05 - Smell Ya Later

Post by bunniefuu »

How 're you getting on with The Ghost?

Oh, my God, he found her.

It'll be easier if you come with me.

A man's been m*rder*d, found in a red light district window.

Is that what it's going to be from now on, scorned wives and scumbags?

Boring!

Hello?

Some kid is prank-calling the school, making mad complaints.

[HUGO]

What's the deal with you and Villanelle?

[KONSTANTIN]

She's not interested in you anymore.

- Are you ready?

- I'm ready.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLURPING]

[CAR CENTRAL LOCKING BLEEPS]

Oi, prick!

Come out there and show your face!

What the Urgh!

[GROANING AND THUDDING]

[BRUSH MOTORS WHIRRING]

[HE GASPS AND CHOKES]

[CHOKING AND GURGLING]

What do you think he's saying?

"I can't satisfy my wife in bed!" "Have you seen Mad Men?

It's a masterpiece!" [EVE CHUCKLES]

Yeah, I don't think yelling's gonna work.

[JESS]

I don't think anything's gonna work.

- I wish she were a bit more - Forthcoming?

Fun!

She kills people for a living.

You'd think she works in Accounts.

Come on, give us the goods!

Not everyone can be as exciting as you know who.

I think you've been spoiled, Eve.

- Oww!

- What happened?

My tooth.

Did you know that babies literally steal the calcium from your teeth.

The little bastard's eating me alive.

Any luck?

[JESS]

I think Charles might have lost his touch in Afghanistan.

- As well as his leg.

- Let me try again.

She's gonna give us something.

[DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS SHUT]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

It's unusual, isn't it to be a woman in your line of work?

Not so much anymore.

Oh, so do you know of others?

Yeah.

We have a book club.

Why?

I'm I'm just interested.

Do you want to do it yourself?

No, I don't think I I don't think I have the stomach for it.

Then what do you want?

Have you ever met a woman named Villanelle?

Or uh Oxana?

They say she's a Dalgyal Gwishin.

What is that?

The Egg Ghost.

The demon with no face.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Villanelle?

- Konstantin!

- Ahh!

- How wonderful to see you.

- [HE CHUCKLES]

How long have you been doing that?

- You told me to get a hobby.

- Did I?

Come.

So, how are you feeling after Amsterdam?

Mm I don't understand the question.

The boy's uncle was very grateful for your services.

- He add a tip.

- Whoa-hoh!

Did you see his numberplate?

- No.

- I'd have k*lled him for free.

If you start k*lling people for free, we are both in trouble.

And broke.

Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

Mhm.

[SHIP'S HORN BLARES]

Ohh!

[EVE CHUCKLES]

Oh, no, no, no.

Come on!

We don't have time for this.

- Freelance?

- It makes sense.

Villanelle's skills, Konstantin's contacts They'll be making a k*lling, so to speak.

So Amsterdam was a private contract?

She must be bored.

I bet she liked the cachet of international politics.

"g*n for hire"?

It's a little basic bitch for her.

I'm sure all that lovely blood money makes it easier.

[EVE CHUCKLES]

Jin is scared of Villanelle.

She should be.

Villanelle would know how to get to her.

What's Villanelle got to do with this?

What if we introduced them?

And then what?

Well, if anyone can "cr*ck" The Ghost, it's the demon with no face.

Villanelle's for hire.

Let's hire her.

- Hire her?

How?

- Uhm.

We need to play by her rules.

Let's put a hit out on me!

Now you're talking.

You are joking?

I can't tell if you're joking.

Eve, you can't.

Jess?

- Don't look at me.

I told her.

- I think it's a great idea.

[EVE]

It'll work.

- We need Jin to talk.

- What's Mum think about all this?

Carolyn thinks it's a good idea.

Eve, it's a crazy idea!

So, you wait out here.

- Wait here?

- Yes.

And what is here?

Where are you going?

To see a friend.

- I'll come with you.

- No.

What?

So you're just going to tie me up outside like a dog?

Five minutes.

[EVE SIGHS]

How much time do you spend doing paperwork, Eve?

What do you mean?

Writing out reports, filling in timesheets, that kind of thing.

It's just, I've never heard you complain about the red tape.

Most people do.

I guess that's not really my job.

Yeah, that's weird, 'cause it is.

It is your job.

It's all of our jobs.

Everything we do here has to be officially documented.

Those are the rules.

For everyone.

No exceptions.

So if you're not doing the boring stuff, that's not because you're special.

It's because someone doesn't want a paper trail on you.

What are you saying?

Just because Carolyn is going along with this it doesn't make it a good idea.

[GATE SQUEAKS OPEN]

Five minutes?

Hm?

Sorry, there was a hold-up.

You're being very sneaky, Konstantin.

- Who were you meeting?

- Come.

Your new job.

Is this a joke?

Did you do this?

You chose that pho that photo?

Oh, God, I look awful.

I-I was so hungover that day.

Sorry to tell you this, Eve, but there was not an embarrassment of riches.

[MARTIN GROANS]

Oh, God!

Sorry I'm late.

There was an incident at Broadmoor.

I had to change my clothes.

Carolyn sent me.

- No, no, no.

- Calm down.

I'm not doing it.

Who ordered this?

I have no idea.

Well, tell them no.

This is a little hurtful.

You were happy to sh**t me.

When are you going to get over that?

You need to k*ll her.

You're a mess.

She's making you weak.

You know that.

You used to be smarter than this.

You won't even remember her name next week.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Psychopaths.

Ignore the whatever.

Aston Martin.

I can't delete it.

Ooh, boo, hiss!

What's that?

Eugh!

However, red tape is there for your [GRUNTS]

health and safety, you don't want to end up in - Go on.

- [FLATLY]

Hot water.

Hot water!

Psychopaths are incapable of interpersonal human relationships.

The I-You.

For a psychopath, there is only I-It.

Other people are just objects to them, to be picked up and put down at will.

[MARTIN MUTTERS]

Right, er Superficial charm.

Dishonesty.

An inability to form lasting intimate relationships.

A poverty of emotions.

[THEY GASP]

- Jesus!

- [MARTIN]

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, it's just a just another work thing.

Psychopaths are narcissistic.

They're pathologically manipulative.

However, they do respond to a certain amount of manipulation.

You can't change them but you can manage them.

Money, praise and attention will help for a while.

But honestly, there's there's no containing anyone like this for any length of time.

But it would be possible for a short amount of time in theory?

I dunno really.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

A-aren't you the expert on psychopaths?

Yes, I am.

So I know.

And what I'm saying is, we don't know.

When you think of a psychopath, you tend to think of a regular person then you add certain negative traits, like your v*olence, your narcissism, your sadism.

That's a mistake.

Don't add, take away.

Everything that makes us human - just take it all away.

Yeah, they're like facsimiles.

They're copycats.

You might as well try to understand a wasp or a stapler you know, hole punch - telephone - So why do you do it if it's so hopeless?

Eh, no more questions until after.

Room service.

Hi.

Sorry, erm room service?

Can I do anything else?

Softer!

I'm grieving.

Sorry.

Do you have someone, Tony?

No.

Are you lonely?

Sometimes.

But it's hard finding the right person.

Yeah, it is.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Hey.

- Hey.

How was your day?

Not bad.

You?

Not bad.

I've got to go to Oxford tomorrow.

Another teacher got sick and they need a chaperone for some spelling bee.

Wow!

I know.

High-octane stuff, huh?

- For how long?

- Just a couple of days.

I don't have to stay overnight.

I can come back if you want.

Oh, no, no, no.

Go.

Seriously, go, it's It sounds like fun.

- Really?

- [DOOR BELL RINGS]

Indian.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

I love you.

Oh did you order extra lime pickle?

- Yeah, of course.

- Yes!

I'm not an assh*le!

Martin.

Your trousers are rather tight these days.

We can't wear belts in Broadmoor.

Ah!

I thought it was a cry for help.

How did she do?

It depends what your criteria are.

So, my terrible presentation is designed to lull subjects into a sense of slightly soporific superiority.

Then we come with this section.

Eve was the only one who didn't instinctively look away.

Good for her.

This was the image that she couldn't look at.

As I showed it, I was talking about Villanelle as a liar, as someone for whom interpersonal bonds are impossible.

Now, she didn't like that at all.

So?

Your professional recommendation is?

She's too close.

This is a no-go.

I always worry about being crushed beneath one of these.

They don't seem stable, do they?

Imagine, like the witch in "The Wizard Of Oz," just two little shoes poking out.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

- Maybe they forgot something.

- It's alright.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Hey, you want to go upstairs?

- What, now?

- Yeah.

I've just eaten a kilo of madras.

What am I saying?

Yes!

Hello, Konstantin.

Do come through.

Last minute Spelling Bee in Oxford.

How did you manage that?

I was the British Spelling Champion in 1973.

It's a very supportive network.

Right.

Are you sure about this, Eve?

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Speak now or forever hold my peace?

So So in other words, on my head be it?

Not precisely.

I thought I had your support on this.

You always have my support.

On the record?

Sisyphean.

What?

That was the word I won with.

"Sisyphean.

" [DOOR OPENS]

You ready to take your top off?

I'll leave you to it.

- Tighter?

- Yeah.

Well, this is flattering.

Eve, I have to put it on you.

Whether you keep it on is your choice.

- I think it looks sexy.

- Shocker.

Jess is coordinating the back-up team No.

No team.

We need her calm and thinking she's in control.

She can't know I'm expecting her.

You have to be safe.

Well, I'll only be safe as long as she trusts me.

We need to be alone.

It needs to feel intimate.

What are you gonna do with her?

This isn't a joke.

I'm trying to do my job here.

Just get the car there and I'll get her into it.

You know, it's very brave.

What you're doing.

No guts, no glory, right?

[KENNY]

Eve.

I know you don't agree with this and I get it.

But I need for you to come on board with everyone else.

You stabbed her.

You think Villanelle will have just forgotten about that?

Don't you think this is important information to share with the rest of the team.

You are actively putting yourself and this whole operation in danger - why?

Or do I need not ask?

Kenny, you Ke - She - Kenny.

She m*rder*d Bill.

You saw it happen.

How can you even think about this?

What has happened to you, Eve?

This is out of control.

If you can't stomach this, I'm sorry.

That's not my problem.

This is the job.

I need to be able to count on your support.

You mean you don't want me asking any questions?

Not when we're this short on time, no.

So, are we okay?

What, with this?

No.

No, never.

Alright.

I'll ask Carolyn to move you to another team.

What?

Are you Are you sacking me?

I'm sure your mum will find something else for you to do.

Hugo!

- I'll walk you out.

- Okay.

Sure.

[SHE EXHALES]

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS OVER P. A. SYSTEM]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]

[RATTLE OF APPROACHING TUBE TRAIN]

[WHINE OF TUBE'S BRAKES]

Sorry.

[P. A. ]

Please mind the gap between the train and platform.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Don't do anything stupid.

Okay?

Can you take your shoes off, please?

What?

Really?

Yeah.

[SHOES CLATTER ON FLOOR]

Do you want to search me too?

What's the point?

Can I take your veil?

I'm dying for a drink.

You don't seem very surprised to see me.

- I'm not surprised.

- Mm?

That's a little arrogant, don't you think?

And yet, here you are.

You've been so distracted lately, I thought you'd forgotten about me.

[CORK POPS]


Glass, please.

[VILLANELLE CHUCKLES]

- We don't have champagne glasses.

- No, this is perfect.

[CHAMPAGNE IS POURED]

[FIZZING]

Are you scared?

No.

[CHAMPAGNE IS POURED]

Drink.

You know, I should be more afraid of you after what you did to me last time.

Are you afraid?

No.

You could have k*lled me.

I know.

I think about that all the time.

Really?

Do you think about it?

All the time.

Are you going to apologize to me?

No.

Are you?

No.

Okay, good.

There we are, then.

I I need your help with something important.

Oh, yeah?

Why don't you drink your champagne?

Nice outfit.

I thought I would dress for the occasion.

- Oh, what's the occasion?

- I'm about to be in mourning.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You know I'm here to k*ll you?

Yes, it was my idea.

No.

I told you.

I need your help.

I I needed to see you.

- So you hired me to k*ll you?

- Yes.

That is so stupid.

What if I hit you with a car?

What if I sh*t you?

You wouldn't.

I wouldn't?

No.

Eve.

[CLINKING]

[VILLANELLE SIGHS]

What is that?

To get rid of the taste.

[CHAIR SCRAPES ON FLOOR]

If I gave you my heart Would you break it?

If I gave you something Would you keep it?

What did you do?

What did you do?

Why did you do that, Eve?

I didn't I didn't think you would actually do it.

That was arsenic.

Don't just sit there, do something!

Get it out!

Go, Eve!

Get it out!

Eve, get it out!

Hurry!

Eve, you need to hurry!

You need to get it out!

Quickly, Eve!

[SHE LAUGHS]

Of course it isn't poison!

Do you think I'm insane?

Eve, you're too easy.

[EVE COUGHS]

I'm expensive.

[EVE]

I know.

Will you give me everything I want?

Yes.

[DOOR HINGES SQUEAK]

Eve, you left your door open.

Yeah.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BIRDS CAWING]

[PANTING]

[THE GHOST HYPERVENTILATES]

No!

[GASPS]

No!

No!

[PANTING AND GASPING]

[SHE GRUNTS]

[TAPPING ON METAL DOOR]

Are you sure this is legal?

What do you care?

I'm just looking out for you, Eve.

Come on.

[EVE]

Open the door, please.

Wait out here.

[VILLANELLE GROANS]

[CLANGING]

Do you need any water?

No.

Who ordered the hits on Alister Peel and his colleagues?

It'll be easier if you just tell me.

Or it's going to get worse for you.

[SHE MOANS SOFTLY]

Hm?

[KNOCKING ON METAL DOOR]

- Did she say?

- No.

Oh, well.

Would you like to watch?

Hm.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[POUNDING ON METAL DOOR]

- Who was it?

- Who do you think it was?

- The Twelve?

- No.

It was his son.

Classic.

- Aaron Peel?

- I know.

Are you sure?

He already owns the company.

It's not the company he's selling, it's a w*apon.

- A w*apon?

- It's always a w*apon.

The Twelve want to buy it.

Everyone wants to buy it.

Great.

I got you what you wanted.

A thank you would be nice.

[FLATLY]

Thank you.

That wasn't a real thank you.

You are just take, take, take.

- What did you do to her?

- Don't worry about it.

What did you do?

Nothing you didn't ask me to.

[MANIC LAUGHTER]

[CLUNKING]

Your hair is black as night Got a skirt that's oh, so tight I'm telling you, I've got a name Monster!

She's my witch [CHURCHBELL CHIMES]

[BOYS CHATTING]

I'm sorry about the complaints.

Don't look so angry.

I was just trying to get Eve's attention.

But she does not care about your life at all.

Does she?

Look at you, huh?

You look like someone stuck a mustache on some fudge.

[BOYS LAUGHING]

- Tom, Daniel.

Stop it.

- Sorry, sir.

- Where are you going?

- Away from the kids.

Ooh.

- I love that sound.

- [RINGS BICYCLE BELL]

[SHE GRUNTS]

I didn't know you had it in you.

Good for you.

You should try this with your wife.

Don't you dare talk about my wife or I will k*ll you!

[SHE GRUNTS]

Ohh, that hurts!

Look I came here to tell you that you don't have anything to worry about.

I've forgiven Eve.

We're friends.

Well more than friends.

What are you talking about?

Niko!

We're colleagues.

Besides, I've been stabbed before.

I know what it's like when you're in the moment.

She stabbed you?

Didn't she tell you?

She came to my apartment in Paris.

And she lay down next to me on my bed.

And she stuck a Kn*fe in me.

- Stop it.

- Look.

Look.

It's crazy, right?

[SIGHS]

You would think I was the bad guy.

God, it's so nice to finally meet you.

Smell ya later.

I don't pretend to know the ways of the world A means to an end seems the way Who has the most of whatever is best All the better May the best man win She told me what you did.

Does it excite you?

We are old friends too.

Carolyn has old friends everywhere.

[EVE]

Did you pick up Aaron Peel?

- Hm.

No.

- Why?

Playing the long game, Eve.

We want to make you and Villanelle an offer.

Running a huge company?

No wonder you're selling it.

How did you know I was selling it?

I heard someone when I was in Paris.

Poor me.

- Tough crowd.

- Yeah, really tough.

Don't speak to me like that, Eve.

I like you but I don't like you that much.
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