|Transcripts - Forever Dreaming
|01x01 - Pilot
|Page 1 of 1|
|Author:||bunniefuu [ 01/01/19 19:53 ]|
|Post subject:||01x01 - Pilot|
-So, what do you think?
It's for you, right?
It's for both of us. Don't go away.
Don't worry. There's not enough blood
Hey, it's Charlie.
Listen, you lousy S.O.B.,
Either you call me,
I love you, Monkey Man.
Who was that?
A telemarketer who calls you
I'm on some weird list.
Okay, it's a woman I went out with once
You are a bad, bad boy.
And yet, you're always the one
Hey, it's Charlie.
Charlie, it's Alan. Your brother.
No big deal, just wanted to touch base.
My wife threw me out,
So, when you get a chance,
Alan, I'm sorry to hear about that.
So, where you gonna go, to a hotel? Wow.
Well, yeah, I guess you could stay here.
Okay. I'll see you when you get here.
We better hurry.
Is she staying over?
Twelve years, and she just throws me out.
I mean, what was the point
You know, "Till death do us part."
How did you get in my house?
Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock
Not sitting on your welcome mat.
Excuse me, but if you put the fake rock
it's impossible to find when you're drunk.
You know, I'm a good husband.
Don't be ridiculous.
I mean, all she kept saying was
She kept going on and on,
What does that mean, you know?
But not a woman who doesn't like s*x.
And Jake. This could just destroy Jake.
Teenagers are pretty sophisticated
-Charlie, I'm going to go.
You two need to talk.
I'm sorry to hear about you and your wife.
Come on, you leaving isn't gonna
A couple of days max.
Yeah. That's what women do.
Look, you can have the guest room.
That's okay. I brought my own.
You brought your own sheets?
I like my sheets.
-Okay, then, good night.
I mean, we hardly ever talk to each other.
What do you want to talk about, Alan?
I don't know.
I was named Chiropractor of the Year
by the San Fernando
-Okay, then. Good night.
Charlie, what about you?
What's going on with you?
Well, Alan, there's not much to say.
I make a lot of money
I sleep with beautiful women
I drive a Jag, I live at the beach,
and sometimes in the middle of the day,
I like to make myself
and take a nap out on the sundeck.
-Okay, then. Good night, Charlie.
Good night, Monkey Man.
Boy, is your eye red.
You should see it from in here.
What are you doing here, Jake?
My mom brought me.
Will you take me swimming in the ocean?
Can we talk about it
Why is your head exploding?
Well, I drank a little too much wine
If it makes you feel bad,
Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.
You have to put $ in the swear jar.
Tell you what,
here's $ .
Now, what I think you need to do
On one side, put what you don't like
and on the other side, what you do.
Alan, sometimes when I think
I start crying in my car.
Okay, that would probably
Why would I lie?
For God's sake, do you think
Look at me, Judy.
Charlie, could you and Jake...
Yeah, come on, kid,
I already had breakfast.
-Okay, we'll have lunch.
That's his head exploding.
Judith, I can change.
obsessive, anal-retentive man
Rigid and inflexible?
Don't you think that's a little redundant?
My mom and dad are splitting up.
Yeah. It looks that way.
When I was your age, I could only dream
-Your mom is my grandma.
Listen, he doesn't know anything
so let's just keep this to ourselves.
Our little secret.
She's gonna be spending the weekend
So, we decided that
Well, with us.
Is this gonna be a problem?
I guess not.
Thanks. Listen, I've got to call my office.
Would you mind making him lunch?
What are you smiling about?
You don't have any food.
Yeah, but I'm not the one who's hungry.
Who's smiling now, shorty?
-You drink milk?
-What's the difference?
Why would I be happy? It's just milk.
Cute. Keep it up,
We got Lucky Charms, Cocoa Puffs,
I want Maple Loops.
You know who wrote that song?
-Your uncle Charlie wrote that.
If I was to lie, I'd say I wrote
not the Maple Loops song.
-You two are really good together.
So, does your wife sing, too?
-No, I'm not married.
Wow. You're even better than a dog.
Dr. Bloom? Yes, this is Alan Harper.
My wife and I need to cancel our marriage
Yes, well, something came up.
Well, it's kind of personal. I mean...
I've got to go.
No. I'm Charlie's brother. Can I help you?
Hi, Charlie's brother. I'm Rose.
I'm Charlie's housekeeper.
So, you're a housekeeper?
I just do this to keep the wolf
You know what I mean?
Sure. Come on in.
Yeah, I can smell him.
Your brother. He has a very musky scent.
Well, I'll just let you get to work.
No. It's okay.
Jake, buddy. Take a break.
What took you so long?
We stopped for ice cream
I got to take a squirt.
Why do you assume
Because I learned it from you.
-Hey, thanks for cleaning up.
Rose? You let Rose into my house?
She said she was your maid.
Hell, she glued the damn cabinets
You've got somebody who comes in
You've met some of the whack jobs
-It's not that big a stretch.
Who let her in?
You're a deeply disturbed man,
I'm deeply disturbed?
Who came here in the middle
At least, I care what I sleep on.
Hey, pal, of the two of us,
I'll bet I'm the only one who's slept
And isn't that something to brag about?
Do you have any idea how hurtful it is
to hear about your own son's divorce
What divorce? What street?
How did you get in my house?
You stay out of this.
I'm here to help your brother
How could you do this to me?
Now when I want to see my grandson
I am going to have to make
who, let's face it,
And what if there's another man there?
Have we even stopped to consider that?
I think he's considering it now, Mom.
-Here's your iced tea, Grandma.
Darling, I asked for a lemon wedge.
All right. Here's what you're going to do.
You and Jake will come live with me.
After all, I'm just rattling around
That's very considerate, but as soon as
I'm going to be back at my own house.
Sweetheart, grow up.
Think about what I said.
You're my son, and I'll always have room
and in my heart.
I love you, too, Mom.
-I love you, too, Mom.
-So, Vegas was good?
Alan, I really want to apologize
I was wrong to blame you
No, no need to apologize.
What's important is that we're here
You look great, by the way.
Must be all the extra oxygen
I see now that the time apart
I know I've grown.
I'm not that suffocating guy
four and a half days ago,
Jake's doing fine.
You were concerned about him
but Charlie's great with kids.
All right, last card, down and dirty.
I'll see $ and raise it $ .
You raised $ on that?
Queens full of nines.
Kid, don't you know what a full house is?
Yeah. And I also know what a psych-out is.
I love this boy.
And I think we're gonna look back on this
A rebirth. A renaissance, if you will.
Alan, I think I'm gay.
We'll make a list.
On one side, we'll put gay stuff...
I'll see you
and raise you $ .
-I think he's got you, pal.
He always pulls his ear when he bluffs.
How about it, Mighty Mouse? You in?
Take him down.
I hate this kid.
What the hell is going on here?
You said "hell."
-Throw $ in the pot.
Hey, we all had to.
Charlie, may I speak with you
-Whose deal is it?
What is wrong with you? Are you insane?
Do you have any sense
Probably not. How was dinner?
How could you put Jake in a poker game
I obviously can't be trusted.
So, how was dinner?
I leave you alone with him
I'm just gonna keep asking, Alan.
Dinner was swell. We both had
Most chicks won't eat veal.
Why do I even try talking to you?
Come on, I'm just trying to get you
I don't need to lighten up.
Dark and rainy.
And you're useless in it!
Really? I wasn't useless
Obviously that was a mistake.
Are you sure?
Maybe we should make a list.
What's going on? Can't sleep?
My dad says we're moving
Yeah, that'd keep me up.
If it makes you feel any better,
$ . The house gets a cut.
I wish my dad was as cool as you.
Don't sell your dad short.
He loves you
You know that, don't you?
How come you don't have any kids?
I don't know.
Maybe because I love me
I don't want to go to Grandma's.
Yeah, well, your dad knows
Okay. Good night, Uncle Charlie.
You got to love a kid like that.
I even played him Stairway to Heaven
and he still liked
Charlie, I haven't seen you in two weeks.
You finally got the house back to yourself.
Now, do you want to talk about
s*x. Definitely s*x.
-Let me ask you something.
Do you ever think about having kids?
Whoa, we've got a good thing going.
What are you doing?
How am I supposed to have s*x
Hey, it's Charlie.
Hi, Monkey Man.
I was just thinking about you
and wondering why we hurt each other
Rose, it's me, Monkey Man.
Is there something
asking a woman you're involved with
Charlie, we got a good thing going,
Look at you.
How good do you feel about yourself
On a scale of one to two.
I'm not back living with Mom.
I'm simply staying here
What do you want, Charlie?
I figured you've been here
you got to have blood
So, I thought if you and Jake wanted
-that'd be okay.
Are you saying you want me
Well, truthfully, no.
I want Jake to come back
but I figure you're a package deal.
Thanks, but we're doing just fine
Come on. We can't let Jake be exposed
There's no ongoing basis.
That's too much.
Piranhas can strip an entire cow
Alan, we've got to get him away from her.
And what happened to you?
Charlie, you're a grown man.
Perhaps it's time to stop blaming
Alan, the divan is not for sitting.
Charlie, get off the couch.
There's my good boy.
And what did I tell you
Grandma, I'm suffocating.
You're right, this madness must end.
Here, I got you your own key.
I am not comfortable with this.
You're not waiting in the car.
Trust me, this is a great way
I don't want to meet women.
Come on, your wife's out meeting chicks,
Your son is just adorable.
Iife partner must be so proud.
You're right. Go wait in the car.
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