Transcripts - Forever Dreaming
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01x07 - Swipe Right
https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=871&t=32876
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Author:  bunniefuu [ 02/20/19 21:35 ]
Post subject:  01x07 - Swipe Right


Previously on Good Trouble...

I want a big traditional wedding.

Why are you doing this?

If I help her plan this wedding, then I'll be numb to the fact that she's not marrying me.

RAJ: I misread all the signals.

Wait.

What are you doing?

Gael...

just a friend?

JAMIE: I'd just like to know who I'm up against.

CALLIE: Oh, we are seeing other people.

This thing isn't just casual.

Not for me.

CALLIE: It isn't for me, either.

MARIANA: Davia has been hooking up with this guy from her hometown.

Did you try my wife?

- He's married, Davia.

- I know.

♪ ♪ Sorry.

- Hmm.

- Hey.

Hi.

- (DOOR OPENS)

- Oh, my God!

What the hell are you doing?

- I was...

What?

- Huh?

WOMAN: Are you kidding me?

After everything that I've done for you?

You spineless loser.

God, you are...

- I should, I should chop it...

- MAN: Whoa!

(ARGUING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

♪ Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ And then we'll find our peace of mind ♪

♪ You and me, belle amie ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa ♪

Other guys are gonna take you to a nice restaurant, but I'm gonna take you to a nice restaurant in a nice suit.

- You know?

- Uh-huh.

So, tell me about yourself.

That's a real broad area there, Paul.

I'm gonna need you to narrow it down.

Do you want food?

I can order some apps.

- Sure.

I'll get us the menus.

- Yeah.

I'll get the menu.

- No, I can do it.

- Oh, I can that.

Do you like movies?

What are your thoughts on astrology?

I'm a Pisces.

I don't know if that means anything to you.

You wanna go halfsies on the broccolini or...

Oh, I'm allergic to crab cakes.

Have you ever been to Milano?

I'd love to take you there.

What-what would you call that lip color?

Is that, uh, like a rose?

I'm still down to eat it.

The crab cakes.

I...

I just get puffy, yeah.

It looks great on you.

I mean, how cool to watch you experience that through my eyes.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- No carbs though, right?

- (QUIETLY): I guess.

(CELL PHONES VIBRATING)

_ - ALICE: Oh.

I'll be right back.

- MARIANA: I'll be right back.

Paul?

Really?

That's your idea of a s*x machine?

He buys his pants at Costco.

Yeah, well, how do you know that?

'Cause he told me.

That's the most interesting thing he's said so far.

Okay, well, my date is as deep as a puddle.

Alice?

He had worshipful eyes.

Maybe because he was looking in a mirror.

Seriously, if I had a drink every time he started a sentence with the word "I," I would be hammered.

So, get hammered and bang him.

Easy for you to say, you bailed on this experiment.

- DAVIA: Oh, he's cute.

- "I like my women like I like my coffee, black and bitter." No.

Sorry, I did not see that.

- (DOOR OPENS)

- Don't worry about it.

I got this.

Hey, you worry about Alice.

No, don't worry about Alice.

Alice is fine with no date.

Okay, Alice would rather deep-fry her own hand.

Look, I'm not just gonna find you a date.

Ooh, I am going to find you someone who makes you forget Sumi ever existed.

What are you guys doing?

Your sister had the inspired idea that we should pick dates for each other on the Shyppr app.

- CALLIE: Oh.

- We all need to get laid.

- Yeah.

- Even though I already have a man.

Uh, your man canceled his trip to LA this weekend.

And your man has a wife.

Do you really wanna antagonize me when I hold the fate of your love life in my hands?

Oh, and FYI, Mariana, since I have someone who checks all my boxes, I'm just looking for a s*x machine.

- On it.

- Mariana.

What about a guy that has a cat?

- That's fine.

- How about six cats?

DAVIA: Oh, hello, Isaac.

- Hot, athletic, runs his own business.

- MALIKA: Ooh.

Oh, wait a minute.

I think I might have seen him - in the neighborhood.

- Maybe.

Says he lives in Downtown LA.

But I might save him for myself.

Oh, too late.

(CHUCKLES)

- So rude.

(GRUNTS)

- Argh!

MARIANA: We would swipe for you, Callie, but with two guys already, you've got your hands full.

Out of curiosity, exactly how full?

- Davia...

- MALIKA: What is wrong with you?

- We all wanna know.

- MALIKA: No, I don't wanna know.

No, I'm not seeing anyone this weekend.

Rebecca passed the bar and she is rubbing it in our faces.

So, I have to study.

(MOANS)

CALLIE: Oh, my God.

(BOTH MOAN)

So, I'm proposing we make a pact.

- Hmm.

- I have to pass the bar, and you need to work on your new pieces for your show, so...

no seeing each other this weekend.

- No s*x.

- No Superman?

Clark Kent?

Jamie?

He does not look like Clark Kent.

Just picture him with glasses on.

Yeah, maybe a little.

So have you heard from him?

Have you heard from Bryan?

- So this weekend...

- Deal.

We'll hole ourselves up in our lofts, get our sh1t done, put you completely out of my mind.

Am I that easy to forget?

I mean, I may not be the Man of Steel, but I can be disciplined.

I once went a whole day without checking Twitter.

That's so impressive.

I also deleted Facebook.

That is so hot.

Looks like you're the one who's gonna suffer withdrawal this weekend.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

I think I'll survive.

Yeah?

- I beg to differ.

- (LAUGHS)

My hair's always gonna look better than yours.

... and then we moved to New Mexico.

Uh, you ever had a sopapilla?

My mom's always like,

- "Why you no do rocket surgery?" - (LAUGHS)

Man, Coterie Shyppr Theater's not nearly as wild as I wanted.

Oh, girl, that's 'cause I wasn't involved.

What happened to that writer guy you were seeing?

Man, he tried to pull that white savior crap on me.

Don't he know?

I'm working on a PhD, bitch.

Anyone who looks at you and thinks you need saving

- can kiss my black ass.

- Thank you.

- Uh...

hello.

- YARI: Oh, hay-llo!

- I would swipe hella right on that.

- Mm-hmm.

I did.

And he clearly did not swipe right on me.

- For real?

- Yep.

Okay, now, this is getting good.

Mm-hmm.

Whatcha gonna do?

Same thing he did to me.

- Ignore him.

- Okay.

(SCOFFS)

Oh, hey, queen.

- Live your best life.

- Mm-mm.

- Mm.

- Mm-mm.

- Mm-mm.

Take it back.

- Aah!

That's hot.

CODY: Look, I know I may seem intimidating, but I put my pants on two legs at a time just like everyone else.

(MAN LAUGHS)

Sorry.

What were you saying?

I was talking about my pants.

Right.

Tell me more.

(LAUGHING)

(MOUTHS)

Need help?

GAEL: Cooling off or looking for snacks?

All of the above.

How's the studying going?

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know, getting organized.

How's the arting going?

Uh, you know, getting organized.

Anything good to eat in there?

Nothing.

There's a food truck fest a few blocks from here.

We gotta eat, right?

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Excuse me?

So, this is happening, huh?

Sorry.

Have a good night.

Uh, Coterie romances never end well, guys.

Trust me.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

I really have to study.

Yeah, I really have to work.

See, now that guy is a problem with these apps.

He sees a dark face and automatically swipes left.

And if they don't, they won't let you be a whole person.

Right.

Like, why can't I have a PhD and big-ass booty?

Well, because according to society and those apps, we're either struggling subhumans

- or hypersexulaized freaks.

- Mm-hmm.

Preach.

The apps aren't all that bad.

I did meet Anton online.

- We know!

- We know!

Mm-hmm.

That's right.

You keep on waiting over there with your nice shoulders.

How dare you swipe left on my girl?

You think you all that, I got a...

Oh, sh1t.

Here he come.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, you think it's possible we could order some drinks?

Me and my friend, we've been here for a minute.

I'm so sorry.

I must have overlooked you.

I'll be right over.

- Appreciate it.

- Mm-hmm.

(LAUGHING)

So Dave Matthews isn't your favorite band?

(LAUGHS)

No.

I put that ironically.

No one under 's favorite band is Dave Matthews.

- (LAUGHS)

- Mine is.

- Well...

- Did you think I was being ironic too?

Is that why you...

you picked me?

- 'Cause I wasn't sure...

- Okay.

Full disclosure, Paul?

I didn't pick you.

This was a bit of an experiment.

ALICE (OVER PHONE): That automatic flushing toilet splashed up in places I never gave permission.

- You never know.

That's enough.

- Oh.

What are...

Come on.

What are you doing?

You're sweet to laugh, but it's dumb.

No.

You're like legit funny.

You should come be a guest on my radio show.

- You have a radio show?

- Yeah.

We live stream on Sunday mornings.

- Wow.

- We have like listeners, but they're devoted.

Cool.

I mean, is it like a talk show or...

It's like whatever I want it to be.

Uh, sometimes I play music that makes me cry or a lot of lady disco.

Uh, one hour I just played the sounds of white girls ordering brunch.

Yeah.

I just talk about random stuff that happen to me.

Like bad dates?

This is not a bad date.

- At all.

- Yeah?

I'm having a good time.

Me too.

I've been to The Broad, The Grove, The Hollywood Bowl, all the "The's" of LA, really.

Have you done Runyon yet?

It's the place to get your body tight.

You get it?

Yeah, yeah.

I see what you did there.

Yeah.

Anything else?

Yes.

Uh, how about your name?

MAN: You'll have to forgive my friend.

He gets all his game from Jennifer Lopez movies.

- Well...

- We talking Enough J.Lo

- or The Wedding Planner J.Lo?

- Ooh.

Oh, I'm more of a Kate Hudson guy to be all the way real.

- Uh-huh.

So we're good here?

- (MAN LAUGHING)

Yeah, we're outta here after this one.

Thank you.

Oh, I still ain't get your name.

Ooh!

Girl, he wants you bad.

- He's a player.

- Well, I say game on.

Play his ass back.

Yes.

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Hey, uh, you wanna head back home with me?

I'd love to show you my portfolio.

Hey, babe, I am so sorry.

I know that I promised to give you space, but I really need to talk to you.

Yo, bro.

Do you mind?

Hey.

Uh, yeah, no.

This'll just take a second.

Uh, look, I know that I might not have better hair than you or take you out to nice restaurants in a nice suit, but I would do anything to get you back if you'll just give me one more chance.

(CHUCKLES)

Wow.

Um...

Um, sorry.

Uh...

I'll tell you what, I am gonna go wait by the bar just in case you wanna talk, or if you wanna leave with this guy, totally get it.

I mean, his shoes are sick.

Thanks, man, they're Berluti.

Berluti.

Look, I believe in a woman's right to choose.

It's up to you if want the Prius or the Tesla.

I mean, they're both gonna get you to where you wanna go, it's just one's gonna care a little bit more about how you look getting there.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go check on that Prius.

But...

it's been real.

Okay.

So you're clearly not the class act I thought you were.

Peace out.

♪ You can't talk, can't talk back ♪

♪ ♪

(CHIMES)

(CHIMES)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

♪ Just wait a minute ♪

- ♪ Open hands ♪

- ♪ Oh, no, we know no man is an island ♪

♪ We're all in it ♪

♪ You gotta understand... ♪

I'm good.

♪ We are the new uprising ♪

Are you?

You've had your worried face on all night.

Just worried about work.

No, that face is more pointy.

This is your sad, worried face.

You analyze my faces?

I love your faces.

- Hangry face is top three.

- (LAUGHS)

God, I hate you.

Okay.

Well, I thought I could do this casual thing with you.

I...

I've never wanted to be with just one person.

But I care about you a lot.

And I don't wanna share you with anyone.

You don't have to answer right now.

You can think about it.

Okay.

_ (WATER SPLASHING)

♪ You take my mind away ♪

♪ When you touch me that way ♪

♪ Almost, almost ♪

♪ Almost like we're dreaming ♪

♪ Almost like we're dreaming ♪

♪ Almost, almost ♪

♪ Almost like we're dreaming ♪

I was hot.

Mm-hmm.

I needed to cool off.

So, not hot anymore?

No.

Nice and cool.

Okay.

♪ Almost, almost ♪

♪ Dreaming ♪

- ALICE: Right over here.

- JOEY: Okay.

- Watch your feet.

- Oh, all right.

Oh, shoot.

Sorry.

I wasn't expecting company.

It's okay.

This place is sexy.

Sexy?

- Uh...

- Yeah.

- You...

you think so?

- So are you.

♪ Girl wants to be with you ♪

♪ I know, 'cause she don't mean no harm ♪

♪ She's just flirtin' with you ♪

♪ Trust me ♪

♪ Don't you go thinkin' that girl ♪

♪ Wants to be with you ♪

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

Uh, that was like my worst kiss ever.

I just haven't dated anyone in years, and I've definitely never dated anyone like me.

It's okay.

I get it.

No.

Uh, I don't want you to get it.

Uh...

I can...

I can do better.

- Okay.

- Watch.

- Mm.

- (CHUCKLES)

♪ She don't mean no harm, she's just flirtin' with you ♪

♪ Your part ♪

♪ She don't mean no harm, she's just flirtin' with you ♪

You're telling me you went to MIT?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

See, you know what your problem is?

You are a beautiful, brilliant and funny woman and you are insanely intimidating.

But I put my pants on two legs at a time.

(BOTH LAUGH)

See?

Funny.

I mean, what guy wouldn't worship you?

Every great rom-com ends with a chase, facts.

You're trippin'.

Pretty Woman, racing in a limo* to catch her before she leaves town.

Brown Sugar, rushing to the radio station.

When Harry Met Sally, running through the New York City streets to get a New Year's kiss.

It's not the chase, it's the gesture.

Say Anything, The Best Man.

And Richard Gere was afraid of heights, and climbed the fire escape for her.

Okay, okay, but I would argue with you that a gesture is a chase in itself, so therefore, every great rom-com ends with a chase, facts.

Severely flawed logic, and you are still wrong.

My favorite movie ends with neither a chase nor a gesture.

Which one's that?

I'm not telling you.

Figure it out.

Ooh.

Can I get a clue?

- The couple dated in real life.

- Yes.

It takes place in LA, and...

it has one of the sexiest scenes I've ever seen.

♪ ♪

♪ Please, own what you say ♪

Mm.

I would have never guessed Alice would be the first one to leave with her date.

Good on her.

I would've guessed you.

Are you calling me a slut?

- No.

No, no, no.

Hell, no.

No.

- (DAVIA LAUGHING)

You're lovely.

I mean, you're nice.

No.

No, I'm just saying...

'cause you're so confident and adventurous, you know what I mean?

I'm sure if you were here with a guy better than me...

That, Paul, is your problem.

Not your too short pants or your love of jam bands, but your lack of self-confidence.

We're gonna fix it.

Come on.

Come here.

- (GRUNTING)

- We're gonna rebrand you.

- Hey.

- Gonna "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" this.

- Bibbidi-Bobbidi-what?

- Mm-hmm.

Okay, what's your Insta handle?

Don't have one.

- Twitter?

- Nope.

- Facebook?

- (SCOFFS)

Oh, no.

Oh, no, it's worse than I thought.

Quotes?

Paul, you have pictures of quotes.

What do you want me to post, my tax returns?

No.

Okay, okay.

Here, here, here.

Look at mine.

Funny videos.

Pictures with friends.

You do have friends, right?

- Yes.

- Okay, I'm just asking.

Hmm.

Hmm.

- PAUL: What?

- DAVIA: One second.

I already have a man.

Uh, your man canceled his trip to LA this weekend.

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Okay?

Last call.

You want anything else?

Sure.

Your number, please?

Yeah, I don't think so.

Really?

You remember when you swiped left on this?

Big mistake.

Huge.

W...

wait a minute, Pretty Woman.

Wh...

What are you talking about?

MALIKA: You're on Shyppr.

I swiped right on you, and yet we never matched because you didn't think I was worthy.

I would've never swiped left one you, nope.

I bet none of the matches on your phone look like me.

Oh.

Let's see.

- You wanna see?

- MALIKA: Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

- Well, she...

- MALIKA: No, no.

- (SCOFFS)

- Uh-huh.

- Hold on.

Let me just...

- MALIKA: Mm-hmm.

You said it yourself, you're more of a Kate Hudson guy.

Wait.

Hold on.

This is not really...

MALIKA: You seem like a nice guy, but...

I just don't feel right giving my number to somebody who subconsciously or not wrote me off without a thought.

♪ She begged him not to go ♪

♪ But guess what they did? ♪

That's everything.

♪ ♪ ♪ She begged him not to go ♪

- MARIANA: Thank you.

- ELI: Yeah.

(GASPS)

Wow.

- You have a great place.

- Thank you.

Uh, make yourself at home.

I will get some drinks.

- Hey, babe.

Hi.

- Hi!

Hi.

- How are you?

- Good.

Good.

Uh, this is Mariana.

- Hi, I'm Lara.

Nice to meet you.

- You too.

- I'm so glad you came over.

- Yeah, me too.

- Right?

- Yeah.

So we stopped off in this little town in Austria, and I found the best hangover cure ever.

Cucumber, butter, and salami sandwiches?

- Yes!

oh, my God.

- Yes, right?

I know.

I love Austria.

My girlfriend and I, we're actually going back next summer.

- Oh, your girlfriend.

- Mm-hmm.

Makes sense.

All the good ones are taken.

Well, not all of them.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Oh.

Speaking of...

Hey, babe, how was girls' night?

Yeah, no, all the guys bailed early too.

I am at the bar having a drink with the very lovely, Mariana.

Yeah, no, she's cute, smart, funny, not an actress.

Why don't you come down here and join us?

Oh, yeah, that's...

Said she's already in her PJs, but wants to know if you wanna come to our place and have a drink.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Are you coming or not?

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, this is a, uh...

It's a really nice place.

Thanks, Paul, but we're done with the niceties.

You wanna do this?

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Hey.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Sorry, we're closed.

Hey.

- What are you doing?

- Love & Basketball.

It's your favorite movie, right?

Yeah.

I'm...

I'm so sorry I overlooked you.

Straight up, I...

I'm an idiot.

Uh-huh.

You know, maybe next time, open your mind to the whole person, you might make a real connection.

What if I have?

Come on, let's...

One on one.

If I win, I get to take you out on a date.

If you win...

well, me and my broke heart will never step foot in your place again.

Hmm?

You play for the pros?

No.

- Not anymore.

- (CHUCKLES)


I don't even have the energy to work on stuff of my own because Speckulate has just drained me of all creativity.

Mariana, you are way too special to let a bunch of bros screw with your mojo.

ELI: Yeah.

Already screwed.

And the only screwing I've been doing lately.

It is settled.

I am going to fix you up.

- Don't say...

Oh, God.

No.

- Yes, I am.

You don't understand.

Every time that she tries to play matchmaker, we end up losing a friend.

Okay, not true.

And that's because we haven't had such a great catch before.

ELI: That may be true.

Aww.

You guys are adorable.

Total relationship goals.

- (ALL LAUGH)

- Yeah, we try.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, you know, I should go.

- Leave you lovebirds alone.

- Oh.

No, please stay.

We're sick of each other, right?

Yeah, it's true.

And we kind of happen to love you.

You're amazing.

Aww.

I love you guys.

And thank you for saving my night.

- Of course, it's our pleasure.

- Glad I met you.

Cheers.

(CLICKING)

(BEEPS)

ISAAC: Ah, look.

What's up?

(ISAAC GROANS)

Come on.

ISAAC: Aah, damn.

Two, zip.

That was lucky.

Well, maybe, or you're just going easy on me.

So you want this date or not?

Check.

Okay.

I like Italian food.

(SIGHS)

Bring it.

Hey, hon, I really like Mariana.

Can we keep her?

I'd say we can do whatever you want, babe.

Oh.

Well, what do you want, Mariana?

♪ A little death ♪

♪ Death, death, death, death, death, death ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ You're deep ♪

♪ In my abyss ♪

♪ A little death ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Is everything okay?

Yeah, it's perfect.

♪ What do I got to do to keep you right here? ♪

♪ Who's gonna make you feel the way they don't feel? ♪

♪ Got a lot of friends ♪

♪ Waiting for you... ♪

♪ Gonna flip the lens and zero in... ♪

It's okay.

Go get some.

♪ I feel like running ♪

♪ I think I feel it coming ♪

♪ Coming, coming, coming ♪

♪ I keep on dancing... ♪

♪ ♪

(ISAAC SIGHS)

MALIKA: Come on, what you waiting on?

- Game point.

- Check it.

Time.

♪ I think I feel it coming ♪

- Really?

- Well, all's fair in love and basketball.

♪ I keep on dancing... ♪

- PAUL: Stop.

Stop.

- DAVIA: What?

No.

There.

Come on.

- (GRUNTING)

- Okay.

Sorry.

Was that too much or...

Oh, my God.

Paul, shut up and take me.

- Sorry...

- Oh, my God.

It's okay, just keep going.

Don't stop.

♪ I feel like running ♪

♪ I think I feel it coming ♪

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Do you need to get that?

- Get what?

- (KNOCK ON DOOR)

- (LAUGHS)

- Oh.

Um, who...

who is it?

Sumi.

Oh.

Okay.

- One second.

- Okay.

I'm sorry, I know it's late.

I got in a huge fight with Meera.

She called off the wedding.

Oh...

I don't know what to do.

I can't be alone tonight.

Can I please come in?

Uh...

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

I'm...

I mean...

No, yeah, I'm so sorry that you're upset, but I...

I can't be there for you tonight.

I have company.

Okay.

I understand.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Uh...

yeah.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

_ (EXHALES)

_ Hmm.

(CHIMES)

_ (DOOR OPENS)

♪ ♪ Where have you been all night?

Out with some friends.

A couple.

I spent the night.

- Okay, I had a threesome.

- What?

I know.

I warned you about that dress.

It wasn't the dress, it was me.

I'm just...

I felt so rejected ever since we moved to LA and...

and you get to be the center of someone's attention.

And I was.

They were all about me.

Except in the morning, the girlfriend went postal.

LARA: Oh, my God!

What the hell are you doing?

I was...

What?

I was half asleep.

I don't know.

- Where were you?

- Getting dressed for work!

I'm sorry, I'm confused.

What's going on?

I thought we were friends.

How could you do this to me?

We are friends.

Uh...

What about last night?

I...

No, we only do this together.

- She didn't know.

- Yeah.

You know the rules.

Are you kidding me?

I'm new to this, I don't know the rules.

- Okay, well, get out.

- Got it.

- ELI: Okay, you don't...

- Maybe move a little faster.

Ugh.

Why is it so hard to find a nice couple in this town?

(BOTH LAUGH)

How was your night?

It was fine.

You okay?

(BEEPING)

What are we doing?

You mean...

I'm never gonna pass the bar if I'm up here every night.

Yes, you will.

You're just stressed.

I know.

'Cause I'm way behind where I should be.

You're not stressed about finishing the pieces for your show?

We still have tomorrow.

Yeah, and we'll probably still be screwing around.

Distracting each other.

Like, this is my career on the line, you know.

And my art is just a hobby?

That's not what I meant.

I was working before you came up here.

Really?

Were you?

If you really wanted it that much, then you wouldn't let anything get in your way.

I could say the same for you.

All I'm saying is, you chose to take the full-time job at Speckulate and maybe you just don't really wanna be an artist.

And maybe you don't wanna be a lawyer, Callie.

'Cause all you do is complain about your job.

Maybe you just can't cut it.

Where are you?

I'm right here.

Hmm.

No, you're not.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's okay.

Come in.

(SNIFFLES)

Who was that girl?

- She's just...

- I don't wanna know actually.

It's too weird.

Really?

Meera said that...

I'm selfish and thoughtless and she doesn't want to marry me.

That's crazy, okay?

You're not sel...

I mean, she should love you for you.

(CRYING)

Please...

Please stop crying.

Come here.

Come on.

Look, you can be a little self-involved sometimes, but it's kind of endearing, you know, and for all your crazy, you make up for it with your laugh.

I mean, it's the reason why I even fell in love with you, you know?

Thanks.

I love you, Alice.

Hey.

Hey.

How did you sleep?

Good.

I always sleep good in your arms.

(CHUCKLES)

Tell me again what you said about Meera.

You mean, like, what kind of terrorist wants a pie bar instead of a wedding cake?

- (LAUGHING)

- Seriously.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

It's her.

You don't have to answer.

It's okay.

Hello?

Me too.

I'm sorry too.

Of course, I still wanna marry you.

(CHUCKLES)

Ooh, I get my cake.

Law school wasn't easy for me.

I had to study a lot.

I think...

the only reason I got through was 'cause I was so focused and practically celibate.

I'm just afraid that...

I won't do what I need to do if...

You're seeing me.

Yeah.

You got some work done.

It's beautiful.

Yeah, thanks.

Maybe after I pass the bar and you get your show up...

Yeah.

Maybe.

Three is the devil's number, okay?

Someone always gets left out.

- Trust me.

- Okay, no shame.

Did you enjoy the s*x?

Yeah.

And do you feel empowered as a woman in your sexuality?

Yes, I do.

Okay, then you had a successful night.

You think a man feels weird about having a three-way?

- Absolutely not.

- True.

MALIKA: Mm-hmm.

What'd I miss?

Everyone got laid except for us.

Hmm.

Speak for yourself.

Kind of...

Hey.

ALL: Hi.

One more time.

I'm gonna call you about that date.

What date?

You lost the bet.

That wasn't a bet, it was a gesture.

(MOUTHS)

Gesture?

Ha!

Damn, girl.

Nice work.

- Do what I can.

- DAVIA: He's good.

Well, I'm very happy for all of you, but I'm gonna go into my loft and kill myself now.

I...

I meant that ironically,

- in case that's a trigger for anyone.

- Okay.

Okay.

Have fun.

FYI, Paul was not terrible in bed.

- You slept with Paul?

- No shame.

We had revenge s*x and it was awesome.

And I'm officially done with Jeff.

- Hallelujah.

- Mm-hmm.

We nailed them.

What are we listening to?

Oh, um, Alice's date from last night, she has a radio show and she's afraid that Joey's gonna talk crap about her.

JOEY (OVER RADIO): And now it's time to open the lines to requests.

We have...

I suck in DTLA.

ALICE (OVER RADIO): Uh, uh, hi.

Uh, hi.

Sorry.

(WHISPERING): Crap.

I'm wondering if you have a song for a girl who really messed up on a first date and would do anything for a second chance?

JOEY (OVER RADIO): Um...

Yeah.

I think I have something for that.

Here's "Knicks" by The Quarterbacks.

And here's hoping you put an end to your drama and get that second date.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- (CHEERING)

- Go, Alice!

- (CHEERING)

- (WHOOPING)

- (WHOOPING)

- Go, Alice!

♪ Go, Alice, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go, Alice, go, Alice ♪

♪ Go, Alice, hey, hey ♪



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