04x04 - One Foot Out The Door

Previously on “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”

MARGARET: You don’t think that is appropriate to tell your mothers when you decide to make a big decision like this?

RICKY: Big decision like what?

NORA: That you three were living together?

BEN: I can't tell her I want to go. And I can't stay.

RICKY: Geez, she just lost a baby.

BEN: So did I.

LEO: I'm here to ask you if you could please come back to work.

CAMILLE: It is too late.

LEO: I need you.

CAMILLE: I can't live with your mistakes.

LEO: I guess this is it.

GEORGE: You can't be in Florida already.

ASHLEY: We're at Toby's grandmother's house.

GRANT: Grace would never cheat on me. And I would never cheat on her. She's on a medical mission. Who would she cheat with?

GRACE: I don't know what I was thinking.

KATHLEEN: You can't just sleep with every guy you meet.

DANIEL: Is Grace home?

JACK: Are you Daniel?

MADISON: Jack really doesn't want to go to Arizona to school.

JACK'S FATHER: Well, thank you for letting me know, Madison.

GRACE: I met somebody else.

GRANT: Obviously.

ADRIAN: Stay with me.

BEN: I can't.

ADRIAN: Of course you can.

AMY: Thanks for coming over.

GEORGE: I'll see you two.

RICKY'S APARTMENT

Amy arrive with John. He is not good.

JOHN: Daddy!

RICKY: Hey, little man, you want to help Daddy cook? Hi, Amy.

AMY: Hi. I think your little man may have a fever. I hope not, but I'm going to call the doctor's office just to see if they're still open. He just seemed cranky at the nursery. I didn't realize that he might not have been feeling well.

RICKY: He's probably just teething. I don't think he has a fever. He doesn't feel warm to me.

AMY: He felt warm to me. Ugh, I'm getting a recording. They've already closed.

RICKY: So take him in the morning. If he's sick.

AMY: He is sick, the question is just how sick. We should probably just take him to the emergency room now because the later it gets, the worse it gets.

RICKY: What, are you one of those Munchausen mothers? He's fine. Aren't you, John?

AMY: I don't think he's fine.

RICKY: Look at him. This is not an emergency. This does not require an emergency room.

AMY: Do you have a thermometer? I don't know if I brought the thermometer over here, did I?

RICKY: I don't have one, no.

AMY: Well, I could go get one or go get it from my house, but... I know he has a fever, just a slight fever, but he has a fever. I can feel it.

RICKY: Maybe, but I really don't think he's all that sick, Amy. He'll be fine. I'm going to finish dinner. You want me to go get a thermometer? I can go get a thermometer. I'll go over to your dad's house after we eat.

AMY: It's just that if he has an ear infection, it could get worse really quickly.

RICKY: Has he ever had an ear infection?

AMY: Yes.

RICKY: You never told me anything about an ear infection. When did he have an ear infection?

AMY: I'm sure I mentioned it.

RICKY: I don't think so.

AMY: I think so.

RICKY: If you had mentioned it to me, I would have gone with you to the doctor or emergency room or whatever.

AMY: Okay, the first year, no, you wouldn't have, and then last year, maybe. But I wouldn't have wanted to take you with me because I get stared at enough at those places.

RICKY: Why?

AMY: Why? Because I'm not married and obviously I'm a teenager and I have a baby and people don't think teenagers can take care of sick babies. People stare at me and ask me stupid questions and... You know how it is. People do that anyway.

RICKY: No, I don't know how it is. They don't stare at me or ask me stupid questions. Of course, I've never been to the emergency room as a parent. I'm going to finish dinner. Is it possible that they're staring at you and asking you stupid questions like, "Is the kid really sick?"

AMY: I'll go get the thermometer.

RICKY: And if he doesn't have a temperature, are we still going to the emergency room?

AMY: No.

RICKY: He's fine.

AMY: Fine, then if he gets worse, you can take him to the emergency room.

RICKY: Fine, I'll be happy to do that. Not happy, but I'll do that.

AMY: You can take him all by yourself if you want.

RICKY: If he needs to be taken to the emergency room, I will take him. All by myself.

AMY: Have fun.

JOHN: Ow.

AMY: Come on, Ricky. I'll go with you.

RICKY: "Ow" does not mean we need to go to the emergency room. I'll handle it. What's the doctor's name? Dr. Hightower?

AMY: Yes. I've already called her. That's why you're getting the message, because they've already closed for the night.

RICKY(at phone): Hi. This is Ricky Underwood, my son might have an ear infection and I'm wondering if you can call in a prescription for him or something. My number is 555-0199.

AMY: I don't know if they know who you are. I think you have to call back and say John's name. And maybe my name.

RICKY: You don't have my name on his medical records?

AMY: Yes, Ricky, your name is on his...

RICKY(at phone): Hi. This is Ricky Underwood. My son's name is John and he's also my wife Amy's son, Amy Juergens, so... I don't think he's all that sick, but she thinks he has an ear infection, so I'm trying... I got cut off. You can't leave a long message at this doctor's office?

AMY: Um, I think they leave a number for the service you're supposed to call if you have an emergency.

RICKY: I'll call back and get that.

AMY: And...

RICKY: And what? I'll call back. What?

AMY: You said, "My wife Amy's son."

RICKY: No, I don't think so.

AMY: Uh-huh.

RICKY: I did not call you my wife. You're not my wife. We have an agreement that no one here is going to be husband and wife.

JOHN: Ow.

RICKY: Yeah. Ow.

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER – OPEN CREDITS

RICKY'S APARTEMNT

Ricky comes back to the shop.

RICKY: He sleeping. I got a thermometer. Come on, talk to me.

AMY: I'm studying.

RICKY: Take a break. Talk to me.

AMY: I'm studying.

RICKY: I brought you a candy bar. Amy, I didn't mean anything when I said that.

AMY: Yeah, I know.

RICKY: Well, good. Then if you know, why are you so upset?

AMY: I don't care if you don't marry me. I don't want to marry you either.

RICKY: Then why are you so upset?

AMY: Because I'm upset.

JOHN ON BABY MONITOR: Ow!

RICKY: I'll get him.

AMY: Yeah, you will get him, and if he has a temperature, you will take him to the emergency room.

RICKY: If his temperature is so high that he needs to go to the emergency room.

RESTAURANT

Ben eat with his dad.

LEO: Thank you.

MAN: Sure.

LEO: I thought you'd come by the house this weekend.

BEN: I couldn't.

LEO: You could. You just didn't.

BEN: I didn't because I couldn't.

LEO: Well, why couldn't you?

BEN: We had a very busy weekend.

LEO: Oh, yeah? What'd you do?

BEN: Things that we probably shouldn't have. Or I shouldn't have, anyway.

LEO: Then I guess things aren't so bad after all. Good. That's good news.

BEN: No, that's not good news. Things are worse than ever.

LEO: Worse how?

BEN: Dad, I haven't changed my mind. I still want out.

LEO: Doesn't sound like you want out. If you wanted out you wouldn't have done whatever you did all weekend.

BEN: I couldn't say no.

LEO: You could. You just didn't. If you want to add to the list of reasons why you can't get out of your marriage, add this weekend. You're really not going anywhere now.

BEN: Why not?

LEO: Did you not understand the vows you took when you got married?

BEN: That was then. This is now.

LEO: That was forever.

BEN: I do not want to be married. I don't have to be married. I don't.

LEO: Yeah, you do.

BEN: Dad, don't you understand? I'm just so unhappy.

LEO: I understand. Believe me. But you have some control over that. You just choose to be happy.

BEN: Choosing to be happy is choosing to leave Adrian. It's one and the same.

LEO: Choosing to be happy has nothing to do with leaving or not leaving Adrian. You are not going to leave Adrian. I'm not gonna let you.

BEN: I can't be married to Adrian and be happy. I disagree. It's just a matter of making up your mind you're going to be happy no matter what.

BEN: That's insane. And what is this? You're not happy. You don't want to be married either.

LEO: No, I'm happy. I'm a happy man. Now, would I be happier if Betty suddenly decided that she didn't want to be married to me anymore? Yes. Is she going to do that? No. So am I going to be unhappy the rest of my life?

BEN: Yes.

LEO: No. It's just mind over matter. I'm not going to make myself miserable, or more miserable, by being unhappy.

BEN: Would you have married Betty if you had realized Camille was in love with you?

LEO: You live in some fantasy world. I talked to Camille. Camille is definitely not in love with me.

BEN: I don't believe that. Did she say that?

LEO: Yeah. Pretty much.

BEN: Did you call her or did you go see her?

LEO: I talked to her.

BEN: On the phone or in person?

LEO: None of your business.

BEN: So you went to go see her?

LEO: I can't believe I ever listened to you. I could have made a complete idiot out of myself. Camille is not in love with me and I'm not in love with anyone but my wife.

BEN: Me neither. But that doesn't mean I want to be married and neither do you.

LEO: You may not want to be, but you are and so am I.

BEN: I don't want to be married, okay? I don't have to be married. I can get a divorce.

LEO: No, you can't.

BEN: What about an annulment?

LEO: After last week? I seriously doubt it.

RICKY'S APARTMENT

Amy are ready to go John in emergency room.

RICKY: Do we have to do this? He barely, barely has any fever at all.

AMY: He obviously has an ear infection. He keeps holding his ears and saying, "Ow."

RICKY: So we can take him to the doctor tomorrow. The doctor who hasn't bothered calling me back.

AMY: You never called back and got the number for the service that you have to call if there's an emergency.

RICKY: Oh, yeah, well, there's not an emergency.

AMY: There will be if we wait.

RICKY: I never knew you were so nervous about this stuff. Are you just insisting on doing this because I said I didn't want to marry you? I take it back. I do want to marry you. Not now. Not any time soon. But I want to want to some day. Maybe some day after we've both finished college.

AMY: Yeah, well, maybe when we've both finished college, you can ask me then and I'll see if I want to or not.

JOHN: Ow.

AMY: Let's go.

RICKY: What have I gotten myself into?

CONDO

Adrian and Grace talk together.

ADRIAN: Look, Grace, you have to stop justifying having s*x by saying that you're going to marry every guy you meet.

GRACE: I can't. I can't stop thinking that. If I stop thinking that, I'm gonna feel too guilty to have s*x.

ADRIAN: Then stop having s*x. Or start telling yourself the truth. You just like having s*x with guys you're attracted to that you care about.

GRACE: That doesn't sound as good. I mean, it might be true but it doesn't sound as good. And I like to believe that any guy I sleep with is gonna stick around. Even though I know it's wrong to sleep with a guy to get him to stick around.

ADRIAN: Mmm, I don't know. I had s*x with Ben this weekend. All weekend, 'cause I wanted to make sure he was gonna stick around. And I still don't know that's gonna do it. I may have to come up with something else.

GRACE: Do you have any reason to doubt that he won't stick around?

ADRIAN: It's my gut feeling that he's having some doubts about this marriage, even though he swears he's not going anywhere. So... I think maybe I should do what you did and just tell Ben I'm thinking about going away.

GRACE: To Africa?

ADRIAN: No. To New York. To cosmetology school.

GRACE: What? Why would you do that? Why would you go to cosmetology school?

ADRIAN: I'm not really gonna go. I'm just gonna see what his reaction is to my going away and doing something stupid that wouldn't be good for me.

GRACE: Okay, wait a minute. That's not what I did. I went away and I did something that was good for me and helped others.

ADRIAN: Well, you certainly helped Daniel, didn't you?

GRACE: Daniel. Oh, geez, I have to go. I told him I'd meet him for coffee. Adrian, I think maybe you've been watching too much daytime TV. I don't think you should intentionally try to trick Ben into telling you how he really feels about you.

ADRIAN: I think I'm gonna have to. Because after all that s*x last weekend, I'm still not sure.

GRACE: What if he tells you to go to New York and study cosmetology?

ADRIAN: Then I'll know I have to come up with something better than s*x to keep him here.

GRACE: Should I ask what that would be?

ADRIAN: No.

GRACE: No.

EMERGENCY ROOM

Ricky talk with a nurse.

NURSE: You're the father. She's the mother. It's her insurance.

RICKY: Yeah.

NURSE: We don't have you on record. You're not on the paperwork that was filled out when the baby was born. You know there's paperwork that's filled out ahead of time so if John comes in with an emergency, no one has to stop and fill this stuff out.

RICKY: I don't even think it is an emergency. And why am I filling out all these forms if I don't have to?

NURSE: 'Cause you didn't check "preregistered."

RICKY: 'Cause my wife didn't tell me we were preregistered.

NURSE: So now she's your wife?

RICKY: Oh, geez, did I say wife again?

NURSE: You said wife.

RICKY: She's not my wife. We just... We're both his parents. I don't know what's wrong with me.

NURSE: I've got a few guesses.

JUERGENS' HOUSE/GRANDMA'S TOBY'S HOUSE

George receives a call for Ashley.

GEORGE: It's your sister.

ASHLEY(at phone): Hey, Dad, I just wanted to let you know that Toby's grandmother sprained her ankle in some belly dancing class.

GEORGE(at phone): Hmm. Well, I guess it's good that you and Toby are there to help her out. It's good for you to do something useful. It's good to be needed.

ASHLEY(at phone): Yeah, about that... She's not here. She's there, which means she's probably not going to be here for a while.

GEORGE(at phone): How long is a while? And you better not be lying to me about this.

ASHLEY(at phone): I'm not. I'm not lying. And I called you as soon as I found out.

GEORGE(at phone): So what's the plan now?

ASHLEY(at phone): Well, I think we're just going to hang around for a while.

GEORGE(at phone): Hang around and do what?

ASHLEY(at phone): Well, there's lots to do. There's a pool and there's a big multiplex near here. That's great. And I have my own room and my own TV. There's lots to do here.

GEORGE(at phone): Uh-huh. This is getting less educational day by day. I tell you what. I think the best way for you to learn something is to get a job, so get a job.

ASHLEY(at phone): But we're minors.

GEORGE(at phone): You can work there. I looked it up. You can use your real Ids and get a job at 16 in that state. You might need a copy of your GED though. You got a copy of that? Of your phony diplomey?

ASHLEY(at phone): Yeah, but... You agreed to put money into my account every week.

GEORGE(at phone): Yeah. That's when I thought you were seeing America. But now that you've retired to the Sunshine State, I'm not doing that. So if you and Toby want to stay at his Grandma's house without his Grandma there, which I'm none too happy about, then get a job.

ASHLEY(at phone): Doing what?

GEORGE(at phone): I don't know, but you send me a picture or a video of you working, or a copy of your pay stub and I'll let you continue down this dead-end road. If not, you're coming home. Hopefully with an education in how an education helps you to get a better job and more opportunities in life.

ASHLEY(at phone): All right, all right. We'll get jobs, geez. Goodnight.

TOBY: We're going to get jobs? We have an allowance. We have a free house. What do we need jobs for? Eh, it's boring here. Let's just go back on the road.

ASHLEY: No, we're lucky we didn't get arrested driving out here. Our parents are idiots.

TOBY: Well, they must really be idiots if they think we can get jobs. I mean... Especially you.

GRACE'S HOUSE

Jack talks with his father.

JACK: Why would you come back to live here? You love Arizona.

JACK'S FATHER: I have a job opportunity here. They've never found anyone to take my job at the church, and I do miss that, pontificating to the masses. But I've also been asked to come into a high school where there's been a lot of trouble and teach a class in philosophy. Sort of like the one I've been teaching at the university. At first, I didn't even consider it but then the more I thought about it, that kind of teaching really interests me. It has such an immediate and practical purpose. It's not about pie in the sky. It's not about life after death. It's about the here and now.

JACK: What school?

JACK'S FATHER: Mt. Xavier.

JACK: Yeah, here and now, you'll get beat up or mugged or shot in the hallways or the parking lot.

JACK'S FATHER: I could be beat up or mugged or shot in any hallway or parking lot.

JACK: Yeah, but the chances are better at Mt. Xavier. You don't want to do that, Dad. Don't move back here to do that. I'm looking forward to moving to Arizona and going to school and living closer to you and Mom.

(Grace and Daniel enters in the kitchen)

GRACE: You can't stay late. I told my mom we were... Reverend Stone, hi. What are you doing here?

JACK'S FATHER: I missed my son so much I couldn't stay away. Hi there, young fella.

JACK: Dad, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is my dad, Reverend Stone.

DANIEL: Hi. Nice to meet you.

JACK'S FATHER: Hi. Nice to meet you.

DANIEL: Jack. Good to see you again.

JACK: Yeah.

JACK'S FATHER: Oh, my. Yes. Now I get it.

GRACE: Get what?

JACK'S FATHER: Nothing. Nothing at all. So very nice to meet your new, uh, friend.

DANIEL: Boyfriend.

GRACE: Oh, I didn't know if it was...

DANIEL: If I'm your boyfriend?

GRACE: We'll just be in the living room. Bye.

(Grace and Daniel leave)

JACK: What do you get? What's going on?

JACK'S FATHER: A little bird told me you were unhappy here and you wanted me and your mother to move back here because you didn't want to go to school in Arizona and you wanted to live at home with us next year and go to school here.

JACK: A little red bird?

JACK'S FATHER: This is why we love Madison. She's so unpredictable. But it's obvious she cares a lot about you. And I suspect she senses that you still care about Grace.

JACK: Yeah, well, Grace has a new boyfriend.

JACK'S FATHER: Has it ever occurred to you that Grace is a very fickle girl?

JACK: Yes. It has.

Grace and Daniel are kissing in the couch.

GRACE: I didn't know you were my boyfriend.

DANIEL: No?

GRACE: Well, I didn't know if now that you were back home you were seeing other girls or not.

DANIEL: You mean, if I'm having s*x with other girls? You and other girls? No. I don't do that. Do you do that?

GRACE: No.

DANIEL: How'd things go today at school with your old boyfriend, with Grant?

GRACE: It was fine. We're just friends.

DANIEL: Yeah, I know how that works.

GRACE: Wait, how does that work?

DANIEL: He doesn't want to be just friends. He's just giving you a little shot of rejection with that, hoping you'll come back.

GRACE: You think?

DANIEL: You look a little too happy about that.

GRACE: No, I just... I did feel kind of rejected but I should feel rejected after what we did, I guess.

DANIEL: I don't think that what we did has anything to do with you and Grant. It has to do with you and me.

GRACE: Yeah, but I did have a boyfriend at the time, so...

DANIEL: Yeah, and?

GRACE: When do you think we are going to have the chance to be alone again?

DANIEL: I don't know. I don't think we need to rush back into anything. I think we should get to know each other better.

GRACE: Do we have to?

DANIEL: No.

GRACE: Daniel, do you think our relationship is gonna last?

DANIEL: What, will I marry you?

GRACE: No! God no, no, I was not asking you that. No.

DANIEL: What were you asking?

GRACE: I don't know! I was not asking you that!

DANIEL: I think it's a little too early for us to be making any plans together. We've got a lot more talking to do.

GRACE: Yeah. Don't be ridiculous. I did not just ask you if you wanted to marry me.

DANIEL: I think you did.

GRACE: Just shut up and kiss me.

RESTAURANT

Ben is still with his dad.

LEO: Why don't you try worrying about something else for a change? Something other than getting out of your marriage. Like where you're going to go to college, how you're going to earn a living.

BEN: College. Why didn't I think of that? I can get into college out of state. Or maybe even out of the country.

LEO: You're married. She'll go with you.

BEN: Yeah. Probably.

LEO: So, how'd things go at work today? How's the butcher shop? How's business?

BEN: It's okay.

LEO: You know, if you wanted, you could work at the office, get more into the business side of things.

BEN: Oh, you mean work as your assistant after school? No thanks.

LEO: It wouldn't hurt for you to see what things look like from the top down. You might like the view.

BEN: Dad, honestly, I just don't want that kind of responsibility. I don't want to be the head of a large corporation. Sausage or no sausage.

LEO: Are you hoping to just inherit my money instead of earning your own?

BEN: No.

LEO: Then what are you interested in?

BEN: Getting out of my marriage.

LEO: Ben, if Mercy had lived, would you still be trying to get out of your marriage?

BEN: No.

LEO: You'd have stayed married for her, right? For your daughter?

BEN: Yeah. That's the reason I got married.

LEO: Then stay married a while longer. For you and for Adrian. Just stick it out until maybe after high school. Give the mother of your child that much respect. I understand you don't want to be there, but we all gotta do what we gotta do. And I'm serious here.

EMERGENCY ROOM

Ricky is boring.

RICKY: You could have told me to bring my books.

AMY: Some things you just have to learn on your own.

RICKY: Really, Amy? He's tired. Once he goes to sleep, we're gonna take him in there and have a doctor poke around in him just so you know he's okay? He's okay. He's obviously okay.

JOHN: Ow.

AMY: I'm going to use the restroom. Keep an eye on him.

RICKY: Fine.

(A woman sit down near Ricky)

WOMAN: Is that your son?

RICKY: Why?

WOMAN: Oh, you're such a cute family. Is that your wife?

RICKY: Just mind your own business, all right?

EMERGENCY ROOM/ANNE'S HOUSE

Amy calls her mom.

AMY(at phone): He's holding both his ears, saying, "Ow," so yeah, I'm sure it's an ear infection.

ANNE(at phone): What's his temperature?

AMY(at phone): It's not that bad.

ANNE(at phone): Well, what is it?

AMY(at phone): 99.9.

ANNE(at phone): Oh. Well. So, maybe it's not an emergency.

AMY(at phone): Don't say that. We've been down here all night.

ANNE(at phone): Yeah, but Amy, the emergency room is for emergencies. Have you called the doctor?

AMY(at phone): Ricky tried to call her and... Oh. They're calling us. I have to go.

EMERGENCY ROOM

Amy joins Ricky and John.

RICKY: Dr. Hightower tracked me down. She said we could bring him in tomorrow morning if we want. Or, as long as we're here, we could get him checked out, but it doesn't sound like anything serious.

AMY: Yeah, well maybe I should have talked to her.

RICKY: Maybe.

AMY: What'd that woman over there want? I saw her come over and sit next to you.

RICKY: She wanted to know if this was my son and if you're my wife. I told her we're never getting married, so now she's not speaking to me.

AMY: Not funny.

ANNE'S HOUSE/JUERGENS' HOUSE

Anne calls George.

ANNE(at phone): Do you know that Amy's at the hospital with John? She thinks he might have an ear infection, but I think she might have just panicked because we weren't there.

GEORGE(at phone): No, I didn't know. You want me to go down there?

ANNE(at phone): No.

GEORGE(at phone): Did you know that Toby's grandmother is still in New York and not with Toby and Ashley because she sprained her ankle belly dancing?

ANNE(at phone): No.

GEORGE(at phone): You sure I shouldn't go down to the hospital and check on Amy?

ANNE(at phone): Ricky's with her.

GEORGE(at phone): Oh. Good. Good for Ricky. Maybe he'll learn there's a lot more to being a parent than sleeping with the baby's mother.

ANNE(at phone): Okay, well, I just wanted you to know.

GEORGE(at phone): 'Cause of course you knew and I didn't.

ANNE(at phone): Well, you knew about Ashley and I didn't.

GEORGE(at phone): Do you ever think those two could be the reason our marriage didn't work out?

ANNE(at phone): Did you ever think that maybe we just never really loved each other and that's why our marriage didn't work out?

GEORGE(at phone): No. We did. At one time, we loved each other. We absolutely did.

ANNE(at phone): Yeah, I guess you're right. I was just reacting to what you said. It sounded like you were blaming the girls and not us.

GEORGE(at phone): You mean not me.

ANNE(at phone): No. I blame myself, too. Goodnight, George.

GEORGE(at phone): Goodnight, Anne. Darn it, Moose. I wish I had it all to do over again.

GRACE'S HOUSE

Grace and Jack meet in the hallway.

JACK: Oh. Sorry. I was just going to brush my teeth. You go ahead.

GRACE: Thank you. I will. I mean, it's my house.

JACK: Please do. Still got company, or...

GRACE: You know Daniel went home.

JACK: Yeah, that's right. I like your pajamas, or whatever that's called.

GRACE: Whatever that's called is none of your business. But thank you, I guess. So, what was your dad really doing here?

JACK: They're thinking of moving back.

GRACE: Excellent. You won't be needing the room for that much longer.

JACK: It won't be any time soon, if they do that, if they move back. And I doubt they'll move back. He got offered a job at Mt. Xavier.

GRACE: What, do they need someone there for last rites?

JACK: Funny, even if he doesn't do last rites.

GRACE: I know. I was just making a joke. You know, we went to the same church, your dad's church.

JACK: I remember. I remember a lot of things.

GRACE: Goodnight, Jack.

Kathleen heard the scene for downstairs, she goes to the kitchen and Tom comes in.

TOM: Hi there.

KATHLEEN: Oh, hi there. You're up late.

TOM: Not really. It's 9:30. I like to stay up until 11:30. Or 12:30. Sometimes, I like to watch the news, sometimes I like to stay up for Letterman.

KATHLEEN: I know. I remember.

TOM: I cannot do that anymore.

KATHLEN: No, you have responsibilities. Tom, is anything wrong?

TOM: Not anything wrong. Anything wrong over here?

KATHLEEN: No. You and Rachel didn't have an argument, did you?

TOM: I want to watch TV!

KATHLEEN: Well, honey, the children have school tomorrow. I mean, they need to get their sleep.

TOM: They can sleep with the damn TV on.

KATHLEEN: Tom!

TOM: What?

KATHLEEN: You asked for Rachel and Ronnie and Bonnie to move in with you. Okay, now you need to be a grown-up and realize you can't do everything you want to do. You have to think about this little family that you brought into your life and do what's best for the kids.

TOM: I thought it was going to be fun. But it's not that fun.

KATHLEEN: Not always, no. It isn't. But sometimes it can be very rewarding, honey. And sometimes rewarding trumps just having fun.

TOM: I don't think so.


BOYKEWICH'S HOUSE

Leo comes to see Betty in the bedroom.

LEO: Hey, that's okay. You can watch whatever that was.

BETTY: No, I want to hear all about Ben. How is he? And how's Adrian?

LEO: He's all right. You want a drink? I'm think I'm gonna have a cognac.

BETTY: Oh, I thought cognac season was over.

LEO: You're right. I usually leave that stuff to the winter months, but it's a little nippy out, so maybe a short one.

BETTY: Sure. Why not?

LEO: Yeah. Why not?

BETTY: Is it me or have you been drinking a little more lately?

LEO: I don't think so. Do you think so?

BETTY: Maybe. Maybe just a little. But you've had so much going on lately, with Ben and Adrian and Camille.

LEO: There's nothing going on with Camille.

BETTY: Well, cheers.

LEO: Yeah. Cheers.

BETTY: Can I ask you something?

LEO: Sure, Betty, you can ask me anything you want.

BETTY: Are you happy, Leo?

LEO: I'm happy. I was just saying that to Ben tonight. I'm a happy man.

BETTY: Good. Are you happy you married me?

LEO: Of course, Betty. Of course I am. Why?

BETTY: I don't know.

LEO: Are you happy you married me?

BETTY: Marrying you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

LEO: If something even better could have happened to you, what do you think that would have been? Just imagine that something even better could have happened. What would that be?

BETTY: I can't imagine something better. This is like a fairy tale come true.

LEO: That's nice. That's nice you feel like that. It makes me feel good.

BETTY: Of course, I do have some regrets in my life.

LEO: Oh?

BETTY: Yeah, I... I regret leaving my parents for my boyfriend. I wish I'd listened to them. He was the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't get to go to high school or college and then, as you know, I ended up doing what I felt like I had to do. Although I really didn't even have to do it. I just couldn't think of any other options.

LEO: Yeah, I feel bad that

that's what happened,

but things happen. And what you did then has nothing to do with who you are now.

BETTY: You see? That's why I love you so much, Leo, and I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. And I'm going to start by loving you all night long.

LEO: Or we could just talk.

BETTY: No!

CONDO

Ben comes home, Adrian cleans up the condo.

BEN: Let me help you with that.

ADRIAN: No, I'll get it. I made the mess, or Grace and I did. I'll clean it up.

BEN: No, let me help you.

ADRIAN: I've got it.

BEN: Did you and Grace have a good time? You look like you're in a good mood.

ADRIAN: I'm in a pretty good mood. Yeah, I guess I am. I must be hungover from our weekend together.

BEN: Yeah, me too. Look, while you're still in a good mood, I'd like to talk to you about something.

ADRIAN: All right, well, let me finish up here and then we can go sit on the patio and talk. I'd like that.

EMERGERCY ROOM

Ricky and Amy are called.

NURSE: Ms. Juergens and Mr. Underwood with John Juergens?

AMY: She did that on purpose.

RICKY: You're right. It's a hostile environment. We can still leave. We don't have to go in there.

AMY: Are you kidding me? After waiting here all night? We're going in there. Get your son.

CONDO

Adrian and Ben talks in the balcony.

ADRIAN: I made you brownies. Well, you and me.

BEN: That was very nice of you. Thank you.

ADRIAN: You're welcome. So, what'd you want to talk to me about?

BEN: Uh... Let me just eat this brownie first. It looks really good.

ADRIAN: Okay. Well, while I'm waiting to hear what you have to talk to me about, there's actually something that I wanted to talk to you about. I was wondering if I could tell you about my plans to go to school next year.

BEN: So you are gonna wait until the fall to go back to school?

ADRIAN: Let me finish. I don't want to go back to school with you and Amy and Grace. I want to go to another school. I want to do something useful and practical and fun. I want to go to cosmetology school. So, what do you think?

BEN: I think that's a lot different from law school, isn't it?

ADRIAN: That doesn't mean that I can't always go back to high school and finish later. College later, law school later.

BEN: Yeah, but you probably wouldn't. You'd probably end up doing what? Hair and makeup? Working in Hollywood? In the TV or film industry? Or cosmetics. Maybe even being a representative for some cosmetics firm... Or coming up with your own line of cosmetics.

ADRIAN: Or doing nails. What?

BEN: Just, you never cease to amaze me. I mean, just when I thought that you couldn't get past what we've been through, you come up with this new and very creative plan. Wow, I'm... I'm totally for it. Yeah, if that's what you want to do. Go into cosmetology.

ADRIAN: Are you?

BEN: Again, if that's what you want to do. If that's what you want to do, I totally support you.

ADRIAN: And... What if I would need to go to New York to study?

BEN: New York? Are you kidding me? That'd be great. I mean, of course, it wouldn't be for very long, right? It would be for just what, a year? Two years?

ADRIAN: I don't know. I'm just starting to look into it. I could start here and then maybe if you get into a college in New York, we could both go together to New York to study.

BEN: Yeah. But I mean, you wouldn't want to start here and then change schools or anything. Maybe you should just start there, you know? Get out of here. We could sell this place and just buy you something over there.

ADRIAN: Buy me... Buy me a place? Don't you mean buy us a place?

BEN: Yeah. I was just so excited thinking about the future. Isn't it great? It's just so... It's so freeing. You know, I think I'm gonna have another brownie.

ADRIAN: Oh, no, no, don't get up. I'll get it for you, Benny.

(Adrian goes away)

ADRIAN: Buy me a place, huh?

BEN: Education is the way out.

ADRIAN: Did you say something?

BEN: No, nothing! No, I said nothing at all.

MAN: Hey, shut up down there!

BEN: I'm going to miss that.

ADRIAN: So he wouldn't mind if I went to New York.

GRACE'S HOUSE/MADISON'S HOUSE

Jack calls Madison.

JACK(at phone): I came down to the kitchen where no one can hear me.

MADISON(at phone): Fine. I don't care if you're upset with me or not. I know you, Jack. I know what you're thinking even before you're thinking it. And you're thinking if Grace dropped Grant, then she'll drop this guy too. And then finally, at long last, she'll be free and you'll be in the house with her.

JACK(at phone): Madison, look, I am tired of being accused of always trying to be with Grace. If I wanted to be with Grace, I could be with Grace. But I don't want to be with Grace.

(Grace heard)

GRACE: Yeah, right.

JACK(at phone): (SIGHS) Look, she just came into the kitchen. Can I call you back?

MADISON(at phone): No. You can talk to her anytime. We have a phone curfew, in case you've forgotten.

JACK(at phone): Well, then, I'll talk to you at school tomorrow.

MADISON(at phone): No!

JACK(at phone): Look, Madison, I love you. And I love that we don't have to have s*x to prove our love to each other. I'll talk to you at school tomorrow.

MADISON(at phone): I wish we'd never had s*x!

JACK(at phone): Goodnight, Madison.

GRACE: Ditto. I wish we'd never had s*x.

JACK: I know what ditto means. Do you wish you'd never had s*x with Grant, too?

GRACE: Yeah.

JACK: And you wish you'd never had s*x with Daniel too? Or do you just wait to wish that until the next guy comes along?

GRACE: I wait until the next guy comes along. I just came down to get my book, so...

JACK: That's not your book.

EMERGERCY

Amy and Ricky are with a resident.

AMY: How do you know? You don't even look like a doctor. Maybe you're not a doctor.

RESIDENT: Got me. I'm just a resident. Which means, legally, I am a doctor. But hey, kids don't like doctors who look like doctors, so there you go. There's no ear infection.

AMY: But he's holding his ears and saying, "Ow" and he has a fever.

RICKY: No, he doesn't. He only had a fever when you took his temperature. Maybe you didn't read it right.

AMY: I read it right. I know how to take his temperature.

JOHN: Ow.

AMY: See! I told you!

RICKY: He doesn't have an ear infection.

AMY: He has to! Why would he be doing that?

RESIDENT: Um... I'm going to take a guess. Because the two of you can't quit arguing? You haven't noticed that when you raise your voices, he doesn't like it? Yeah. You two better get a handle on that. Especially if you're going to live together. Bye, John.

JOHN: Bye.

HIGH SCHOOL

Grace joins Grant to talks to him.

GRACE: You know, I have some things of yours I should return.

GRANT: That's all right. We're friends. I'm not worried about you having any of my things.

GRACE: I have your hospital bracelet from med camp.

GRANT: Really? I thought you would have thrown that away by now. I threw yours away.

GRACE: Maybe I would have wanted that.

GRANT: We'll be back at med camp this summer. You can get another one. Hey, is your new boyfriend, what's-his-name, going to med camp?

GRACE: What's-his-name is Daniel. And I know you know that. And no, he is not going to med camp. You know why?

GRANT: No. Why?

GRACE: Because he's already in college. He started in January. He's a year older so he got into college early. He was on spring break when I met him. He's a freshman in college. He's not in high school. He's an adult.

(Jack heard)

JACK: Does your mother know this?

GRACE: No, she doesn't, and neither one of you are going to tell her, and you know why?

GRANT: Why?

JACK: Why?

GRACE: Because we're friends and friends don't rat each other out, do they? Do they? You know what, never mind. We're not really friends. You just said that because you wanted me to feel rejected and so I would come crawling back to you. But guess what? It's not going to happen.

(Grace leaves)

GRANT: It might.

JACK: She's a very fickle girl.

Lauren talks with Jack.

LAUREN: Hey, Madison's out sick today. She wanted you to know that she was up all night crying.

JACK: About what?

LAUREN: About everything. Basically, she wishes she had never had s*x with you, never dated you, never met you.

JACK: Is she breaking up with me?

LAUREN: You wish. You're not getting off that easy. If you want to break up with her and go chasing after your old girlfriend, then you're going to have to do the breaking up yourself.

JACK: I'm not breaking up with her.

LAUREN: Yeah, she knows that. But you and I know that you want her to. And you're a little weasel.

Amy and Ricky are in school.

AMY: We're just going to have to find a way to argue without arguing or we're going to scar John for the rest of his life.

RICKY: Do you have to be dramatic? Isn't that how we got into that argument in the first place?

AMY: You're raising your voice already.

RICKY: No, I'm not. I'm not raising my voice. I know what raising my voice sounds like. This isn't raising my voice.

AMY: You are raising your voice. I know what not raising your voice sounds like. This is not raising your voice. What I'm doing.

RICKY: Yeah, well John's smart enough to figure out that even if you're talking like that that you're still angry.

AMY: He's not a dog. Maybe we just need a bigger place. Maybe we just need to move back to my house.

RICKY: The three of us?

AMY: No, John and me.

RICKY: You can't do that. And I wish you'd stop threatening that every time we have an argument.

AMY: I'm not threatening. I'm just saying that maybe our place is just too small, and your voice is just too loud.

RICKY: After having been raised the way I was raised, I've worked really hard to know what the line is when it comes to expressing my anger or frustration or emotions. I don't think it's healthy to not express emotions in front of John. What's he supposed to think, that we're all happy all the time?

AMY: Yes.

RICKY: No. It's normal to get upset and have arguments. It's healthy. If you don't let things go too far. And I'm not going to let things go too far.

AMY: Oh, so it's up to you?

RICKY: No. I know what my "too far" is. You have to know what your "too far" is. But I think threatening to go back home to your mommy and daddy is going too far.

AMY: Ow. I was just joking. I hear what you're saying. And I guess I have to quit doing that, threatening to go home.

RICKY: Thanks.

AMY: And I have to start giving you more credit for knowing a little bit more about raising John. You really have given parenting a lot of thought.

RICKY: Thanks, Amy.

AMY: And you're really a good dad. And some day, you're going to make someone a really great husband.

RICKY: Someone?

AMY: Well, me. Which is why you keep calling me your wife. And you know it.

Ben explains to Henry and Alice Adrian's plans.

BEN: I think I may have found a way out.

ALICE: I don't want to hear about this. I don't think you should get out. It's too soon and she's too fragile.

HENRY: Yeah, don't you think it's a little insensitive, Ben, to be talking like this?

BEN: But it was her idea.

ALICE: Whatever it is, you don't have to be so happy about it.

HENRY: Unless...

ALICE: Unless what?

HENRY: Unless this is her way of getting out.

BEN: Yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe she wants out as much as I do. Maybe the feeling is mutual.

HENRY: Okay, so what's the story? What's your way out that was her idea?

BEN: She wants to go to cosmetology school.

ALICE: Adrian? Adrian, who had a 4.0 average and wanted to become a lawyer,now wants to go to cosmetology school?

HENRY: And how does that get you out?

BEN: Because she could possibly go to cosmetology school in New York.

ALICE: Uh, no. This is a lie. I'm not buying it.

HENRY: Me neither.

BEN: Look, she does not want to come back here and without a high school diploma, her options are limited. So this is what she chose. And by the way, I think it's entirely possible that this way she gets away from me and I get away from her and once we get away from each other, there's no going back.

CONDO

Adrian calls her doctor.

ADRIAN(at phone): Dr. Ottavi, thank you for taking my call. I just got nervous that maybe Ben and I should have waited a while longer. Yeah, I'm feeling much better. In fact, I have another question I want to ask you. Is it too soon for me to try to get pregnant again?

End of the episode.