03x16 - Mirrors

Previously on “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”

AMY: How are you feeling?

ADRIAN: I'm feeling really happy.

AMY: You both look happy.

ADRIAN: Oh, we get to find out the s*x of the baby today.

GRACE: So it's "we," huh?

BEN: Yep.

AMY: I'm ready to have s*x with you. Maybe you should go get tested.

ASHLEY: I just need to get some forms for homeschooling.

KATELYN: Oh, I love homeschooling. Do you have someone to act as your teacher at home?

ASHLEY: Oh, I don't need a teacher. I'm gonna do it myself.

JACK: I'm sorry. What?

MADISON: I met him at work, and we just clicked.

LAUREN: What is up with you?

JESSE: People who meet in high school don't always stay together.

LAUREN: I got it.

ADRIAN: I really hate that you were there for Amy, but you don't wanna be here for me.

MADISON: So I wanna go out with him.

MADISON’S FATHER: You never mentioned him all summer.

MADISON: He was my boss.
MADISON’S FATHER: I think 20's a little old.

MADISON: You're gonna love him. You just have to give him a chance.

GRACE: I'm just not gonna get tested. I don't have anything.

JACK: It wouldn't hurt to get tested.


BEN: It's a girl.

BETTY: It's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl!

NORA: Hi, honey. I'm home.


Ricky talks with a lawyer about his mother.

RICKY: So, that's the deal. My mom is out of jail.

LAWYER: Hmm. And you're telling me this because...

RICKY: Because you granted me the privilege of having my son in my home on weekends, and I don't wanna lose the privilege. I assume I'm not supposed to be living with an ex-con. Or an ex-con is not supposed to be living with me, even if she is my mother.

LAWYER: So, Ricky, what you're really looking for, by telling me that your mom showed up and is at your apartment, is not only to protect your arrangement with Amy and John, but you're also looking for me to tell you that your mom has to get out of your apartment, because you don't want her to live there anymore. You want her out by some order of authority...that authority being me...because her living there is not the best thing for you and your son.

RICKY: Yeah. Yes, sir.

LAWYER: Let me see what I can do. Do you know the name of her parole officer?

RICKY: Yeah. I wrote down the information for you.

LAWYER: Thank you. All right. I'll make a call. But, um, it's just too bad that we can't find someone to help turn your mom's life around. You know, the same way that your adopted parents turned your life around. Sometimes parents need parents, and sometimes the child has to become the parent.

RICKY: Not me. I can't do that.


Amy knocks on the door, Nora opens it.

NORA: Hang on, hang on. I'm coming already.

AMY: Is Ricky home?

NORA: Are you Amy?

AMY: Yes, I'm Amy.

NORA: Are you Ricky's mother?

AMY: You look just like him.

NORA: You look just like me. I mean, it's like looking in a mirror. I mean, before I was into alcohol and drugs and, well, guys and... Yeah, I was mustWow, this is really kind of sick. My son is dating his mother. Not dating. Worse. Come in. Please. Um...

AMY: I... I didn't know that you were...

NORA: Oh. Out of jail? "Yah." Yeah, I got out yesterday and showed up last night. Wow, my good son is in love with a girl who looks like his mother at 17. I can't get over it.

AMY: Yeah.

NORA: Come on. Sit down.

AMY: I... I can't. I have to get to school. I dropped John off at the nursery a little early this morning. Thought I'd surprise Ricky and drop by.

NORA: Oh, he... he left already. What, you thought you'd surprise him, or you thought you'd catch him?

AMY: I think I better go.

NORA: Oh, no, no. I wish you'd stay. I really wish you'd stay. I've been dying to meet you. Just dying to meet you. Of course, I wasn't expecting me, but...

AMY: I really have to go.

NORA: Okay. If you have to go. I guess school's important, too.

AMY: Yeah, school's very important. 098 It was nice meeting you.

NORA: Nora. My name's Nora. You know what? Before you go, could I just ask you, do you mind if I meet John? I really wanna meet John.

AMY: Uh, if Ricky says it's okay, then, yeah, of course it's okay. I mean, John's his son, too.

NORA: Great. So, if I get my 18-year-old son's permission, then I get to meet my grandson?

AMY: Yeah, I think it has to be his decision. I don't really know you.

NORA: Then you should get to know me. Come on. Please stay. Please? I will tell you Ricky stories. Come on. What are they gonna teach you at school today that's better than Ricky stories?



George and Anne speaks about Ashley.

GEORGE (at phone): It won't last.

ANNE (at phone): It might.

GEORGE (at phone): It won't.

ANNE (at phone): You know, I've done some research, and as it turns out, some teenagers actually do better with homeschooling. Ashley might thrive in homeschooling. You're just gonna have to let her see how she likes it and see if it works for her.

GEORGE (at phone): It's not gonna work for her, and she's not even gonna try to make it work for her. She's only doing this because you told her she could.

ANNE (at phone): Well, you told her she could.

GEORGE (at phone): Only because you told her she could.

ANNE (at phone): Well, she wants to do it, so...

GEORGE (at phone): So, the question is, why does she wanna do it?

ANNE (at phone): I don't think there is a "why." She wants to 'cause she wants to. It's something different to do, and teenagers like being different.

GEORGE (at phone): I don't like teenagers being different. I want her to be the same as everyone else and go to school.

ANNE (at phone): Well, you're gonna have to tell her that then.

GEORGE (at phone): I can't tell her that. I used to be the good cop to your bad cop, and now you've decided to be the good cop, too. She has no discipline in her life. One of us has to say no to her, and it can't be me, because I'm the one living with her.

ANNE (at phone): No, it has to be you, because you're the one living with her. Besides, you're the one who thinks that she shouldn't do it. So you tell her no. I think it could work.

GEORGE (at phone): It can't work. She has no discipline, no motivation, and no mommy. This is broken homeschooling.

ANNE (at phone): Living with two teenage daughters isn't as easy as you thought it would be?


Madison tries to convince Lauren to leave the bed.

MADISON: Lauren, you have to go to school.

LAUREN: I can't. I can't go to school. I don't wanna see him.

MADISON: Well, maybe if you see him, he'll change his mind.

LAUREN: I don't care if he changes his mind after he's already broken my heart. And what difference does it make if he changes his mind? I'll never feel the same about him.

MADISON: Well, what do you wanna do?

LAUREN: I just want to stay in bed. I'm sick.

MADISON: No, you aren't. Not really. Not sick sick.

LAUREN: I know. I'm worse than sick. I'm practically dead.

MADISON: Well, I have to go to school. I hate to leave you here dead, but I have to go to school.

LAUREN: Why? Why can't you stay with me? Our parents are working. They won't know. I don't wanna be by myself.

MADISON: Well, yeah, but, you know, we just got off restriction, and I just...I feel like we should go. I mean, we should go.

LAUREN: Oh. I know what this is about. This is about Stanley.

MADISON: Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, he's supposed to meet my dad tonight.

LAUREN: Then just go without me then. Just go without me. I'm not going. I can't.

MADISON: Okay. I'll ask. If I don't ask, then...


Madison calls her father.

MADISON’S FATHER (at phone): Madison?

MADISON (at phone): Hey, Dad. I need to ask you something.

MADISON’S FATHER (at phone): Okay. Ask me. But if you wanna ask me if you can date Jack again, I told you, you can date Jack again.

MADISON (at phone): Oh, no. I want you to meet Stanley tonight. Stanley's coming over tonight. You didn't forget, did you?

MADISON’S FATHER (at phone): No, I didn't forget.

MADISON (at phone): Well, uh, Lauren isn't gonna go to school today 'cause Jesse broke up with her, and she's really upset. So can I stay with her?

MADISON’S FATHER (at phone): And miss school? No. Madison, you have to go to school, and you should get Lauren to go to school, too. I mean, these things happen. Teenagers break up, they get back together, they break up again, they get back together again. This doesn't mean that it's over for her and Jesse. This doesn't even mean that it's over for you and Jack.

MADISON (at phone): Oh, no, things are over for me and Jack.

MADISON’S FATHER (at phone): Go to school.


Jack is with her father.

JACK: I don't think Jesse meant to break up with Lauren. I think it just happened.

MADISON’S FATHER: That's between the two of them. This is between the... three of us. I really think that this is an opportunity for you, Jack. Lauren is gonna be at home today. Madison is gonna be without her best friend at school. This is your opportunity to get back in the game, son. And when you back in the game, just remember what the rules of the game are.

JACK: Yes, sir. But is there any kind of compromising on that? No. Got it.

MADISON’S FATHER: Have a nice day.


Jack calls Tom.

TOM (at phone): Where are you?

JACK (at phone): Oh, I just finished my conversation with Madison's dad., is Grace dropping you off? I texted Grace to drop you off. If I drop you off, you'll be late.

TOM (at phone): I'm vice president. I can't be late.

JACK (at phone): I know, Tom. Do you want me to call Grace?

TOM (at phone): I call her. She's not going to do anything for you. She hates you!


Tom calls Grace, she enters in the kitchen.

GRACE (at phone): Hello?

TOM (at phone): Hello. Why are you talking on your phone?

GRACE (at phone): Because you were calling me just as I was walking in.

TOM (at phone): It's not funny.

GRACE (at phone): Yes, it is. It's hysterical. If you're in a good mood, it's hysterical. I, myself, am not in a good mood; otherwise I'd be laughing hysterically.

TOM (at phone): I need a ride to work.

GRACE (at phone): I know. Jack texted me. I'll take you.

TOM (at phone): Thanks.

GRACE: So where is Mr. Irresponsible? Why can't he take you?

TOM: I never tell.

GRACE: I don't really care. I just need to tell Adrian what I'm doing.

TOM: Make it quick.


Grace calls Adrian.

ADRIAN (at phone): Hey, are you on your way?

GRACE (at phone): Yeah. I need to drop Tom off. Do you wanna come?

ADRIAN (at phone): No. We're gonna be late if we drop Tom off.

GRACE (at phone): You know, you're right. Maybe we should just forget about it for today. You wanna ditch?

ADRIAN (at phone): No. Do you?

GRACE (at phone): Yeah, I do.

ADRIAN (at phone): School just started. We can't ditch school.

GRACE (at phone): We could. And, you know, school just started, so there's probably not that much stuff going on.

ADRIAN (at phone): What is wrong with you?

GRACE (at phone): Nothing.

ADRIAN (at phone): Oh, just go get the test, if that's what Grant wants.

GRACE (at phone): No. And I'm not showing my face at that school.

ADRIAN (at phone): Oh, Grace, come on.

GRACE (at phone): No, you come on.

ADRIAN (at phone): I'll get a ride to school.

TOM (outside): Let's go!


Adrian calls Ben.

BEN (at phone): Are you okay?

ADRIAN (at phone): I'm fine.

BEN (at phone): Where are you?

ADRIAN (at phone): Still here. Grace was going to pick me up.

BEN (at phone): "Was"?

ADRIAN (at phone): Would you stop worrying, please? I'm fine. I'll be there.

BEN (at phone): I'll come back and get you.

ADRIAN (at phone): Don't be ridiculous.

BEN (at phone): Well, then, I'll get Mike, our driver, to drive you.

ADRIAN (at phone): I can drive me.

BEN (at phone): Why was Grace gonna drive you in the first place?

ADRIAN (at phone): I don't know. I think she had some plan to ditch school. She doesn't wanna see Grant.

BEN (at phone): Why?

ADRIAN (at phone): Well, it's just something stupid... sexing.

BEN (at phone): Did you think about what I asked you about last night?

ADRIAN (at phone): Ben, I'm not gonna live with you, okay? I don't wanna live with you. We're friends. Friends don't live together.

BEN (at phone): Friends having babies with friends live together. Or they could.

ADRIAN (at phone): I'll think about it.


Ricky seeks Amy.

RICKY: Have you seen Amy?

BEN: No longer my concern.

Ben is going to talks with Jack.

BEN: Hey. Hey, did you know Grace is ditching school? What is wrong with her? She was supposed to pick up Adrian, who's now gonna be late for school.

JACK: Why would Grace ditch school? She didn't say anything to me about ditching school. Of course, she's not really talking to me.

BEN: Um, something to do with s*x?

JACK: Oh, I'm out on that. I have nothing more to say on that. Grace is no longer my concern.


Ricky calls Amy.

RICKY (at phone): Where are you?

AMY (at phone): I stopped by to see you this morning. I thought maybe I could be with you when you got your test results back. I thought maybe they would call this morning.

RICKY (at phone): You're at my apartment with my mother?

NORA: Test results? What test? Ricky had a test already? It's the second day of school.


Amy arrives to the high school.

RICKY: That's not how I wanted you to meet my mother.

AMY: You were thinking over high tea?

RICKY: I don't even know what that is. But don't mix "high" and anything with my mother. What did she say to you?

AMY: Nothing.

RICKY: Nothing? You're almost an hour late for school.

AMY: Yeah, but I'm here now. Did you hear anything from the clinic?

RICKY: No, I didn't hear anything yet. And I didn't need you to add any stress to my day, while I'm waiting, by talking to my mother.

AMY: I'm sorry. I thought it was a good thing I got to meet her.

RICKY: Well, it's not.

AMY: She thinks I look like her.

RICKY: What?

AMY: Yeah. She has a picture in her wallet of when she was my age. We do kind of look like each other. Isn't that weird?

RICKY: Oh, God, no, you do not look like my mother even if you look like my mother,

AMY: No, I do.

RICKY: No, you don't.

AMY: I do.

RICKY: Are you trying to create some situation in which I never wanna have s*x with you? 'Cause that's what you're doing.

AMY: What? No. No. I'm sure lots of guys marry girls that look like their mothers.

RICKY: Not happy guys.

AMY: She wants to meet John, you know.

RICKY: Yeah, I know that. But we shouldn't just let her meet John. Let's wait and see if she stays sober before we go introducing her to John or anyone else. You haven't been exposed to a lot of this low-life stuff, Amy. And I hate to be the one to give you an education in drugs and alcohol. But this is how addicts and drunks are. They're likeable. A lot of them are likeable anyway. They have to be likeable, otherwise they're just addicts or drunks. And I'll tell you something else. People who do that stuff also lie. They're very good liars. First, they learn to lie to cover up their alcohol and drug problems. And then they lie to cover up all the problems their alcohol and drug problems cause.

AMY: She's pretty funny.

RICKY: No, she's not.

AMY: No, she is.

Ricky and Amy walk together in the hall.

AMY: I have to get a note to get into class.

RICKY: I do not want you hanging out with my mother again. Understand?

AMY: I understand, but it's not really very nice. It's not fair to your mom or to me. She wants to get to know me.

RICKY: I don't want her to get to know you. Again, let's wait and see if she stays sober. I'm just trying to be responsible here, Amy. I'm trying to protect you.

AMY: I think I can protect myself, but thank you. Where were you this morning?

RICKY: I went to see the guy who did our mediation to make sure that he knows that my mom won't be staying with me for more than a few days, and that John won't be there during that time.

AMY: Where's she gonna stay?

RICKY: I don't know. I'm working on it.

AMY: Well, she's a grown woman. Why don't you let her work on it?

RICKY: Because if I leave it up to her, she'll just stick around. And she can't. Not without interfering with me and John.

AMY: I have to go. We'll talk later. Oh, and text me as soon as you hear.

RICKY: W- Wait. You didn't tell my mother that the test I'm waiting on is the test I'm waiting on, did you?

AMY: We talked about so many things, I don't remember. I have to go.

Amy enters in the counselor’s office.

AMY: Hi. Could I get a note? I'm running a little late this morning.

RICKY: You do remember. I'm sure you remember. Lying is contagious, you know.

KATELYN: Did you also need a note?


KATELYN: Why aren't you in class?

RICKY: Because I'm me, and I was waiting on her.

KATELYN: And why are you late?

AMY: I got delayed after I dropped our son off at the nursery. I'm sorry, but I'm just missing band. And it's marching season, and I'm not marching and either is he, because we both have other responsibilities now. But we'll both try to never be late again. Promise.

KATELYN: And you are?

RICKY: Ricky.

KATELYN: Oh. You're Ricky.

RICKY: Yeah.

KATELYN: Nice to meet you. And that must mean you're Amy?

AMY: Mm-hmm.

KATELYN: And I'm hoping that means you know where Ashley is.

AMY: She's doing homeschooling.

KATELYN: Yeah, well, I need the paperwork.

AMY: I'll let her know.

KATELYN: Is there something going on at your house that I should know about?

RICKY: Do you mind? We're in the middle of something.

KATELYN: Oh. I'll take that as a yes.

Amy and Ricky walk together in the other class.

RICKY: You haven't even spent time with my other mother... my mother who took care of me. Other than at the mediation, you haven't even seen her.

AMY: I don't think she likes me.

RICKY: She likes you, and I want you to like her. My other mother Nora... I'm not so sure.

Madison joins them.

MADISON: I need to talk to you.

AMY: What's going on?

RICKY: What's going on cannot be more important than having this conversation.

MADISON: Oh, yeah? Well, Lauren's at home crying her eyes out because Jesse just broke up with her.

AMY: What? Why?

RICKY: Oh, jeez, Amy.

AMY: I have to talk to Madison. Let me know, okay? She doesn't know.

MADISON: Doesn't know what?

AMY: Ricky's birth mother is visiting.

RICKY: She doesn't need to know that either.

MADISON: "Either"?

Ricky leaves.

AMY: Lauren's taking it pretty hard, huh?

MADISON: Yeah, and I feel really bad for her. But in a way, Jesse's right. I mean, he and Jack are going off to school next year. And what's the point of having a relationship if you're gonna go off to college?

AMY: Hold it, hold it. You and Jack also broke up?

MADISON: You knew we were gonna break up.

AMY: No, I didn't. And please tell me you did not break up with Jack for that Stanley guy.

MADISON: No, I... I didn't. I didn't do it for him. No, I... I did it for me. But I am bringing him home to meet my dad tonight.


Jack tries to speak with Grace about her problems.

JACK: Why aren't you at school? Did you and Grant break up? Was it something I said? You think? Look, I don't think you have anything. I don't think I ever exposed you to anything. We were careful. We were really careful. But things happen.

GRACE: Yeah, things that I didn't know anything about. Why are you here?

JACK: I don't really feel like seeing Madison. Her dad wants me to talk her into seeing me. But I don't know. I'm really upset with her. You know, I was good this summer. I didn't do anything, and...Whew. I had plenty of opportunities to do everything.

GRACE: Yeah, apparently you've always had plenty of opportunities to do everything, and you always took full advantage of those opportunities.

JACK: Not always. And I don't really need or want to do that anymore...take advantage of every opportunity.

GRACE: So you had had s*x before we had s*x?

JACK: I thought you would've assumed that. You kind of did it because you didn't want me having s*x with other girls, so I just thought you knew I had s*x with other girls.

GRACE: No, not really. I mean, I knew that you did what you did with Adrian, but I didn't... You had s*x, not oral s*x... s*x with her?

JACK: Look, I told you to go get tested. What more do you want from me? This is as honest as I care to get with an ex-girlfriend who's seeing someone else. And you know what? I need my space. I'm gonna ditch school today.

GRACE: You can't, because if you get caught, you won't be able to play this weekend. You need to go talk to Madison. 'Cause if you don't, she's just gonna do what you like doing with her but with somebody else. If you really care about her. Do you really care about her? Do you really actually care about anyone other than yourself?

JACK: I really care about you, Grace.

GRACE: 179 I really wish I cared about you, too, Jack. I really wish you cared about me enough and I cared about you enough that we could be together for the rest of our lives, like how we felt when we had s*x. But I don't. I don't care about you, Jack. At least not like that.


Ashley is the living room in her pajamas. George comes in.

GEORGE: You still in your pajamas?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I stayed up late. Twilight Zone-marathon.

GEORGE: Off to a good start with the homeschooling, I see.

(Someone knocks on the door)

ASHLEY: Well, this can't be good.

GEORGE: Come in!

(Katelyn enters)

KATELYN: Hi. I'm the new counselor, Katelyn O'Malley. Are you Ashley's dad?

GEORGE: Uh, yeah, I guess.

KATELYN: Oh, may I come in in? I would've called first, but the number I have on record isn't the right number. It isn't even the right area code.

GEORGE: Yeah, come on in. I'm George.

KATELYN: Nice to meet you. Hi, Ashley.

ASHLEY: You can't just show up at a student's house.

KATELYN: There's no law against it.

ASHLEY: Well, there should be.

KATELYN: There's not. And there is a law against not going to school. Unless you're 16 and officially dropping out. And I hope you're not dropping out.

GEORGE: No, no, no. She's not dropping out. She's doing homeschooling.

KATELYN: With what? She doesn't have any books, and you don't have a teacher's guide. You haven't set up a schedule with me or with a teacher assigned to cover homeschooling. Ashley, you still have to come in once a week and go over your work with a teacher. That's how we have homeschooling set up in this district.


KATELYN: Yeah. It's just like school, only you're doing the work on your own with a parent or another tutor. You still have to come in once a week, and then a teacher will test you on your progress. Or you can register with another school...one that only does homeschooling... and they can do the work with you on the computer, or by mail, or in person like we do. But those schools have a tuition, you know?

GEORGE: No. We'll go with what you have.

KATELYN: Okay, well, then, I need the form that I sent home signed.

ASHLEY: He signed it.

KATELYN: You were supposed to bring it back to me. Thank you. Your books are in the box along with a planned schedule. And we'll see you at the end of the week. Good luck. And nice to meet you, George. And I hope to not meet you like this again. But I'm like that. I show up. Bye, Ashley. And, oh, Ellen's doing an all-dance show. It's probably gonna be really good. You could do that for your PE requirement.

(Katelyn leaves)

GEORGE: Still wanna do this?


GEORGE: Why can't you just go to school? Is it because your mother and I are divorced?

ASHLEY: Most kids' parents are divorced. No one cares.

GEORGE: Is it because Amy and Ricky are dating? You don't wanna be around Amy and Ricky at school?

ASHLEY: You know, I can't believe I ever liked him. I don't like him. He's annoying.

GEORGE: Is it that you don't have a boyfriend?


GEORGE: Is it that you don't have a friend? You have a friend. Griffin's your friend.

ASHLEY: He...Not really. But I don't need a friend. I don't need a friend.


Griffin and Grant speak about Ashley.

GRANT: Come on. Ashley in home-school? She can't seriously be doing that.

GRIFFIN: She's seriously doing that.

GRANT: Why? Because of me? Not because of me. Probably because of you. You were her best friend.

GRIFFIN: Well, I'm still her best friend.

GRANT: You sure about that? You sure you're not just hanging out with Peter and ignoring Ashley?

GRIFFIN: I make time for Ashley.

GRANT: I doubt it. So why don't you talk to her instead of talking to me?

(Jack picks up Grant)

JACK: I'd like to talk to you.


They talk about Grace.

JACK: Grace is at home today.

GRANT: Is she?

JACK: Yeah.


GRANT: And I thought you tought know. I hadn't seen her around school this morning, so I kind of figured that out.

Jack meets Madison.

JACK: Madison.

MADISON: I don't wanna talk, Jack!

JACK: Madison, what happened? I wanna know what happened. I wanna know how this happened.

MADISON: I met somebody. I met someone who wasn't interested in s*x.I met someone who... who liked me for me.

JACK: He's 20 years old, and he's not interested in any kind of sexual relationship with you? Come on. He's lying. He's just saying that to seduce you.

MADISON: How did you know he was 20? Who told you he was 20?

JACK: Lauren.

MADISON: Uh, Lauren's not here, and I saw her this morning. If you talked to her, she would've told me.

JACK: Madison...

Ben and Adrian Talks together in the hall.

BEN: You can stay in the guest room. We'll make the guest room into a nursery and a room for you. We were gonna do that anyway. It's time to do that. And you can start staying there now so that when the baby gets here, you and the baby can stay at our house.

ADRIAN: 836 Okay, Ben. Listen to me. You and I are friends. We're very good friends.

BEN: Friends who are having a daughter. I'm really happy the baby's a girl. Really happy. I was afraid that if she was a boy, there'd be some competition between John and our son. But there's not gonna be any of that now because she's a girl.

ADRIAN: I'm sure the four of us will still somehow have our children competing against each other. But, anyway, Ben, we're not ready to live together.

BEN: We're not ready to have a baby either, but we're having a baby, and I wanna be with you and the baby.

ADRIAN: I know. And I really appreciate that you've so stepped up to the plate here, Ben, and you've just been so responsible and kind and considerate and everything else, but... , I'm not living with you, okay? I'm definitely not living with you unless we're married.

BEN: Are... Are you saying you wanna get married?

ADRIAN: No, I'm not saying I wanna get married. I'm saying I'm not living with you unless we're married. No. No, no, no. Do not get any ideas, Ben.

BEN: What?

ADRIAN: Ben, do not get any ideas. I did not mean I want to get married right now.

Ricky receives a call.

RICKY (at phone): Yeah. Yeah, I can hold.


Ricky stars his job. Ben is already here.

RICKY: Hey, have you seen Nora? Bunny said she thought she was in the apartment. She's not.

BEN: Nora who?

RICKY: Nora, my mother. We're not gonna call her "Mom," all right? She's "Nora" when she's here, if she's here. I don't know where she went.

BEN: She's in the freezer, cooling off. You called her parole officer?

RICKY: No. And if I had someone call him, it's none of your business.

(Nora joins them)

NORA: Well, hello, Ricky.

RICKY: Hello.

NORA: Evidently I have to find a place to live.

RICKY: knew you couldn't live here.

NORA: Well, no, I didn't. I told them your place could be my place.

RICKY: I told you, you couldn't live here.


RICKY: I did. I told you I didn't want anything to threaten my custody agreement with Amy.

NORA: Which is why I made friends with Amy? She likes me. She'd have no problem with little John staying with you and me.

RICKY: Did she say that?

NORA: No, but I can tell.

RICKY: Amy doesn't even know you. And Amy really shouldn't be the one to make that decision. I should be the one to make that decision.

NORA: Oh, because you know me?

RICKY: Yeah.

NORA: You don't know me.

RICKY: Okay. Well, I would like to get to know you before I make a decision that could affect my son.

NORA: By the way, she looks like me. if you think I have problems, I've got news for you. You're the one who has problems, because Amy looks just like me. Just like me.

RICKY: But, Mom, unlike you, she does not drink or do drugs.

NORA: I don't drink or do drugs, okay?

RICKY: Fair enough. But you did drink and do drugs. And I know you're sober, and I know you're turning your life around. But until I'm sure you've turned your life around, I don't want you living at my house.

Meanwhile, Ben talks with Bunny.

BEN: I didn't know Ricky's mom got sprung.

BUNNY: Yep. And she's gonna work here, which is good. When the baby comes, I'll have extra help, and you can take paternity leave.

BEN: Yeah. We're having a girl. Did you hear?

BUNNY: No, I didn't hear. That's wonderful. Baby girl.

BEN: Yeah. Baby girl.

BUNNY: You look kind of happy.

BEN: I am kind of happy. I don't know why. I'm 17, and I got a girl pregnant, and we're having a baby, and yet... Yeah, I am kind of happy. Maybe even more than kind of happy.

BUNNY: What are you up to?

BEN: I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. My life is a mess, and it's getting messier all the time, and yet I am kind of happy.


Griffin comes to see Ashley who makes homework in her bedroom.

GRIFFIN: Good to see you, old friend, old buddy of mine.

ASHLEY: I have to study.

GRIFFIN: No, you don't. You have time to talk. All right. I've been nice. Now I'm not going to be nice. I want you back in school, and you're going back to school unless, and until, you tell me the truth about why you're not going back to school.

ASHLEY: I don't make any decisions out of fear.

GRIFFIN: That's good. But in this case, be afraid. Be very afraid.

ASHLEY: Tell Peter I said hello.

GRIFFIN: Yeah, I will. Bye.


Next, Griffin talks with George in the kitchen.


GEORGE: How'd it go?

GRIFFIN: Ah, couldn't get it out of her. She wants to be home-schooled.

GEORGE: Ah, she's just busting my chops, seeing if I'll go along with her on this. So I'm gonna go along with her on this until she changes her mind.

GRIFFIN: You know, you could, uh, get her into a group of home-schooled students. You just tell the school you want her to get involved with some of the other students to make friends, and they'll set her up with a study buddy and other kids to go on field trips with and all kinds of stuff like that.

GEORGE: Ashley? Ashley with a study buddy, going on field trips?

GRIFFIN: That's what my mom did. That's all I'm gonna say. That, and I was back in school 24 hours after meeting my buddy.

GEORGE: I love that guy.


Grant visits Grace.

GRACE: Don't you even knock?

GRANT: I missed you at school today. I missed seeing you. I missed talking to you. I wanna talk to you.

GRACE: I don't know why. I'm, like, some disease-carrying skank. I don't know why you wanna talk to me.

GRANT: "Disease-carrying skank," huh? Will you be using terms like that with your patients?

GRACE: What patients? Why do you think I'm gonna be a doctor?

GRANT: I just spent six weeks with you at med camp. It's a camp with excelled classes for qualified students who have an interest in medicine.

GRACE: Well, I don't have an interest anymore. I feel stupid and dirty.


GRACE: You can go now.

GRANT: I'm not going anywhere. Am I supposed to say I don't care what Jack said? We should just ignore what he said? Because I can't ignore what he said, and obviously you can't ignore what he said. He was just being honest. He's been exposed to some infections, so best to see if you were exposed to some infections, and then if you were, you take care of that and then move on. But it's not likely that you were.

GRACE: But I might've been.

GRANT: Yeah. That happens. But even if it did happen, best to know. It wouldn't change anything between us.

GRACE: Just knowing I had a reason to get tested for an STI changes everything between us, 'cause it changes how I feel about myself, all right?

GRANT: No, not all right. You can't let Jack's lies and adventures wreck your self-esteem, Grace. Come on. Yeah, this is that part in the lecture from your mom where she mentioned emotional damage. s*x in high school leading to emotional damage. Come on. This STI thing's the downside, but there's definitely an upside to having s*x.

GRACE: I'm never gonna take that chance again. So if that's all you want, just stay away from me, okay? Stay away from me.

GRANT: Why don't we just give ourselves a little more time and see what happens?


GRANT: Come on, you disease-carrying skank. You know I love you.You really have a way with words.

GRACE: What did you say?

GRANT: I love you. You know I love you, Grace. Say it, please.

GRACE: I love you, too. I don't wanna get tested for anything.

GRANT: Don't make such a big deal out of this. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it. You just do what you have to do. That's how life works.

GRACE: You love me?

GRANT: I love you. And I'm not just saying that so you'll have s*x with me. I'm saying that so if you don't have s*x with me, you'll still know how I feel.


Amy visits Lauren.

AMY: Hi, Lauren.

LAUREN: Oh. Hey, Amy. What are you doing here?

AMY: I dropped John off with my dad. Just thought I'd come by and say hi. I'm really sorry about you and Jesse.

LAUREN: I'm okay.

AMY: No, you're not.

LAUREN: I'm not.

AMY: It's sad. I know you really like him.

LAUREN: Yeah, well, I guess it's better to break up now then after another year together, 'cause it would really kill me.

AMY: You must be in so much pain. So, you probably don't wanna hear this, but I'm sure there are a lot of other guys that would love to go out with you.

LAUREN: I don't want another guy. I don't wanna go out with other guys. I'm stopping right here, 'cause I never wanna feel like this again. I'm really happy I didn't have s*x with that idiot. I mean, could you imagine how I'd be feeling right now if I had has s*x with that idiot?

AMY: Yeah. It could be worse, I guess. But maybe he really cares about you. Maybe that's why he didn't have s*x with you. Maybe he was thinking that in the long run, it wouldn't be the best thing for you.

LAUREN: And the best thing was to break up with me?

AMY: I don't know. All I know is you're my friend and you stuck by me, so if there's anything I can do for you, I'm here for you.

LAUREN: Thanks, Amy. I really appreciate it. You know, if you and I are Madison's friends, we would go over there and tell her dad that she's lying about this guy.

AMY: Is she?


Her father meets the new Madison's boy friend.

STANLEY: It doesn't always work out. I mean, look at you two. Clearly, Emily's not Madison's mother. This has to be your second marriage, right?

MADISON: Um, actually, I forgot to tell you. My mom died.

STANLEY: Oh, bummer. Well, that's another reason things don't work out sometimes, huh? Death. That's why I say live for today. While you can. Right, Morg?

EMILY: Madison, why don't you and I get the boys a piece of cake?

MADISON: We have cake?

EMILY: We'll bake a cake.

MADISON: You bake?

EMILY: I'll learn. Let's go.

(Madison and Emily go to the kitchen)

MADISON'S FATHER: How old are you?

STANLEY: How old did Madison say I was?

MADISON'S FATHER: Do you have a driver's license?

STANLEY: I'm old enough to drive. I've been driving for years.

MADISON'S FATHER: How many years?

STANLEY: I beg your pardon?

MADISON'S FATHER: You're not 20 years old. 20 years old would be too old. But you're years older than 20 years old.

STANLEY: 20 and a half. A little joke. You have a sense of humor, right?

MADISON'S FATHER: Not when it comes to my daughter. No, I don't.

STANLEY: Hey, you're the one who made her go to work this summer. All right? All I did was hire her. And maybe flirt with her a little. But I'm not a pushy guy, all right? Madison wants to go out with me.

MADISON'S FATHER: I don't care what Madison wants. You're not going out with her. Get out.

STANLEY: But I haven't had my cake yet.

MADISON'S FATHER: There is no cake.

STANLEY: What, cookies? Bye, Madison.

MADISON: What happened?

MADISON'S FATHER: What happened? What happened is that creepy guy, who must be 30-something, was trying to go out with you.

MADISON: He's not 30-something.

MADISON'S FATHER: Well, he's not 20.

MADISON: Well, I thought he was, you know, around 20.

MADISON'S FATHER: He's not. And he's...simple and, again, creepy. Why would you wanna go out with him?

MADISON: Because he likes me. He really likes me. He says nice things to me.


MADISON: I don't know. Like, that I smell nice and that my hair is pretty and I have a great body.


MADISON: What? I do.

MADISON'S FATHER: My God, are you that naive?

MADISON: Oh, excuse me. You're the one who made me work at that stupid food court this summer, you know? And Stanley is the only mature, polite, decent, responsible guy there, you know? And everybody knows that the food court is just like a steaming bowl of Styrofoam and s*x. Everybody knows that.

MADISON'S FATHER: The food court is where people have breakfast, lunch, and dinner while shopping.

MADISON: Yeah. Who's naive now, huh?


Ricky talks with Margaret and her husband.

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: Well, I'm very relieved.

MARGARET: Yes. We both are.

RICKY: Yeah. It's good news. I mean, I wasn't really worried, but...

MARGARET: But you don't wanna get yourself in that situation again where you'll need to take one of those tests.

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: Let's just let him enjoy one evening without a lecture.

RICKY: No, no. I don't mind. I don't mind lectures at all. You're both very good at lecturing. That's probably the reason I am where I am today. I mean, I'm not perfect. I'm far from perfect. But without the two of you and your lectures, who knows where my life would be.

MARGARET: What's going on?

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: No, no. You're not getting married. You're still too young to get married.

RICKY: I know that.

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: And I hope you wouldn't have s*x with Amy either. Just give it a while. See if you stay interested in being with her.

RICKY: It's not about Amy. This isn't about Amy.

MARGARET: Well, do you wanna keep us guessing what it is about, or you wanna just tell us?

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: Just tell us. I did a quadruple bypass at the hospital this morning. I gotta get back to the patient after dinner. I don't wanna guess.

RICKY: I managed to get Nora out of jail.

MARGARET: And you're calling her Nora now.

RICKY: I'm calling her Nora. You know why? 'Cause you're my mother. She's Nora. You raised me. You cared for me. You're my mother, and she's Nora.

MARGARET'S HUSBAND: Is there a reason you're sucking up to her?

RICKY: Not just her. Both of you. I need to find someplace for Nora to live.



MARGARET: What do you mean, "Uh-oh"? I do know apartment managers. I can... I can check around.

RICKY: You don't think it would be possible for her to live here, do you?



RICKY: I think she needs parents. I'm not ready to be her parent. I'm still recovering from her being my parent.


Ben talks with his father.

LEO: It's just so she'd live with you? I mean, with us?

BEN: No. This is because this is what I wanna do.

LEO: This is what you wanna do today. It may not be what you wanna do tomorrow or the next day or the next year or the rest of your life.

BEN: Yeah, but no one really ever knows that, do they?

LEO: They know that. You don't sound as if you know that. And you have a history of making some big decisions without thinking things through.

BEN: Come on. Like what?

LEO: Uh, like, uh, marrying Amy, having s*x with Adrian to get back at Amy.

BEN: Okay. That's not a history, that's two things. And as it turns out, one of those things is a good thing. I'm happy I had s*x with Adrian, I'm happy we're having a baby, and I'm happy I'm getting married, for real this time.

LEO: Ben, take a deep breath here, son. Slow down a little bit. I know you're all excited about the idea of getting married, but let's think about the reality of getting married of you and Adrian getting married when you're 17 ans she's 18. And neither of you would be thinking about getiing married if you weren't having a baby.

BEN: We might.

LEO: Ben.

BEN: Dad, we are having a baby, and I wanna be married to the baby's mother before the baby gets here.

LEO: Okay. How about this? How about if you wait until the baby's a year old? If the baby's a year old and you still wanna do this, then do it. Just don't do it now. It's too soon.

BEN: A year? My daughter is supposed to walk around a year without knowing her mother and father are married?

LEO: They don't walk the first year. And she won't know for a few years. You have a few years to decide, if that's your concern.

BEN: A few years? We started at one year, and now we're at a few years. Dad, we're moving in the wrong direction.

LEO: All right. A year. A year after the baby's born.

BEN: No. Now. I wanna get married now.

LEO: Does Adrian wanna get married now?

BEN: I'm sure she does.

LEO: Have you asked her?

BEN: No. I'm asking you first.

LEO: You know, if you have to ask your dad's permission first, maybe you're just a little too young. The groom usually just asks the bride's father.

BEN: I'll get to that. And, you know, next year, I'm 18, and I won't need your permission.

LEO: No, you won't. So wait till next year.

BEN: No, I'm not waiting until next year. Dad, please. Please, Dad. This is my life. It's my life. I wanna share it with Adrian and our daughter. You know it's the right thing to do. Her father knows it's the right thing to do. I know it's the right thing to do. Just let me get married.

End of the episode.