03x15 - Who Do You Trust

Complete Collection of episode transcripts. Aired: July 1, 2008 to June 3, 2013.*
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Amy Juergens finds out she's pregnant after a fling at band camp, her whole world changes as she deals with family, friends, school and life.
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03x15 - Who Do You Trust

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Previously on “The secret life of the American teenager”



BEN: What's going on?

ADRIAN: I started my period. I'm not pregnant.



ANNE: Are you sure you want to get back with Ben even after he and Adrian were together?



JACK’S FATHER: We're moving. Is there any possibility you could stay with a friend your senior year of high school?



RICKY: Ben, Adrian is pregnant, and if she told you she isn't, she lied.



AMY: I got accepted into a summer program at the Nomkomf School of Music in New York.



BEN: Adrian's pregnant, and it's my baby.



GEORGE: I don't want you and Ricky to be anywhere nears each other.



TOM: I am moving.

JACK: Maybe I could crash with you.



AMY: I can't believe I have my own apartment in New York.



ADRIAN: Tomorrow I'm going to have the abortion.



RICKY: We can't, Ashley.

ASHLEY: We can if we want.



ADRIAN: I changed my mind. I couldn't do it.

BEN: We're having a baby.



NORA: I violated my parole. I have to turn myself in to county women's prison.



LEO: We're gonna go to New York, and you're gonna see Amy, and you're gonna tell her.

BEN: Amy, Adrian's pregnant, and it's my baby.



TOM: Who's that?

TAMMY: That's my husband.



GEORGE: Maybe you should start a business of your own.

ANNE: I would love to.



PETER: I hope I get to see you again.

GRIFFIN: Give me a call.



GRACE: I want to be a doctor.

GRANT: I want to be a doctor.



ASHLEY: Ricky's flying to New York to see Amy this weekend.

RICKY: It's really good to see you, Amy.



MADISON’S FATHER: You're not gonna see Jack anymore, and that is it.



BEN: What would happen if Amy and Ricky thought that we were gonna be unavailable to them?



KEN: I actually think you may be ready to make a commitment.

RICKY: I just said I slept with another woman after telling Amy I wouldn't.



ANNE: I don't think Amy's ever gonna be able to stop you from being with other girls, and you two really shouldn't be together.



GRANT: Tell your mom thanks for inviting me over.

GRACE: I just can't figure out why she let you come over here in the middle of the night.



RICKY: Would you and John like to go out with me tonight?

AMY: We would love to.



BETTY: I don't care if Ben gives the ring to Adrian as a friendship ring or any other kind of ring.

LEO: Do you know how much that thing is worth? $50,000.



RICKY: I am not gonna have sex with you, Ashley.

ASHLEY: Why not?

RICKY: I don't want to be the first guy you sleep with.



ANNE: We shouldn't be married, George. Well, we'll see how we can best split up.



KATHLEEN: Please don't run off to med camp and have sex.



BEN: I think you should know that I'm thinking about marrying Adrian.



MILTON: How would you like to be vice president?



TOM: Of what?



RICKY: I'm happy to have you home.

AMY: And I'm happy to be home.



HIGH SCHOOL



It is the day when class begins again. Adrian returns in the high school and puts full with food in her rack. Ben comes to her.



BEN: Hey, there you are. Oh. What's all that? I'm in charge of school lunches.

ADRIAN: Snacks. These are just my snacks.

BEN: Oh, of course. Snacks. For the week?

ADRIAN: No. I eat every two hours. That's how I keep my weight down.

BEN: Except on your fingers. I'm picking up your ring that had to be resized.

ADRIAN: It's water retention. It's totally normal.

BEN: Of course. We'll get it resized as many times as we have to.

(Amy joins them)

AMY: Adrian. Look at you. You look great. Hey, Ben.

BEN: Doesn't she look great?

AMY: She does. How are you feeling?

ADRIAN: Happy. I'm feeling really happy.

AMY: That's good. You look happy. You both look happy.

ADRIAN: So do you. Why do you look so happy? What did you do?

AMY: Nothing. Have a good first day of school. Bye.

(Amy leaves)

ADRIAN: What?

BEN: Today's the day.

ADRIAN: I know. I can't wait.

BEN: I can't wait.

(Henry and Alice joins them)

ALICE: Can't wait for what? What's going on?

HENRY: Oh, wow. Well, I haven't seen you in a few weeks. You've gotten…

ALICE: A glow since we saw you. You are glowing.

ADRIAN: Oh.

HENRY: You're not having twins, are you?

ADRIAN: No, I'm not. I'm almost halfway through the pregnancy, so I'm supposed to look like this.

BEN: She's supposed to look like that. Okay?

(Ben and Adrian leaves)

HENRY: She's only halfway?

ALICE: Oh, I know what that means.



Adrian and Ben met Jack and Grace.



GRACE: Hi!

ADRIAN: Hi!

GRACE: So good to see you.

ADRIAN: How do I look?

GRACE: You look like you're having a baby.

JACK: Soon.

ADRIAN: 20 weeks. I'm halfway there.

Oh, we get to find out the sex of the baby today.

GRACE: So it's "we," huh?

BEN: Yep.

GRACE: Nice.

BEN: And how's everything with you? Or is it "you two"?

GRACE: Oh, no, no. I'm still with Grant. But we had a great summer. I can't wait to tell you about it.

JACK: You wouldn't tell me.

GRACE: No, I wouldn't, but that's because it's really none of your business. But I appreciate your interest in me.

(Jack leaves)

GRACE: We learned to do that at med camp this summer how to deliver bad news but end on a good note.

ADRIAN: Oh.



Amy talks with Madison and Lauren.



MADISON: Well, just because Ricky says he hasn't had sex doesn't mean that he hasn't had sex all summer.

AMY: And just because Jack says he hasn't had sex doesn't mean he hasn't had sex all summer either. Same goes for Jesse.

LAUREN: I didn't say anything. And I haven't even talked to Jesse yet.

AMY: Did you have sex this summer?

MADISON: With who? No.

(Ricky wants to talks with Amy)

RICKY: Excuse me. Do you mind?

(Madison and Lauren leaves)

AMY: Good morning.

RICKY: The three of you talk about anything other than sex?

AMY: Sometimes.

RICKY: Do they know what our agreement is?

AMY: Of course they do. They're my best friends. What they don't know is I'm ready to have sex with you. So maybe you should go get tested.

RICKY: Oh, come on, Amy. You know I don't have anything.

AMY: You don't even know if you have anything. So find out, and we'll go from there.



THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER – OPEN CREDITS



HIGH SCHOOL



Ricky asks to girls with he sleesp together if they have a sexually transmitted infections.



GIRL: What did you do all summer?

RICKY: Nothing. And I mean that. Nothing. I have to ask you something. You don't have any sexually transmitted infections or HIV or anything, do you?

GIRL: If I do, I'm sure it's from being with you.

RICKY: That was a no, right? Hey, Candy, wait up. I gotta ask you something.

CANDY: I'm not interested.

RICKY: I'm not interested either.

CANDY: Yeah. I heard you're with Amy now.

RICKY: With? No, I'm not with her. We're just dating.

CANDY: Oh, you date now, do you?

RICKY: Yeah. What I wanted to ask you is have you ever had any STIs?

CANDY: Nothing permanent, but thanks for asking.

RICKY: But you didn't when we…

CANDY: No, I didn't.

RICKY: What about…

CANDY: No.



Zoe comes to speak to him.



ZOE: That's quite a survey you're taking. But I think the point is to ask the question before and not after.

RICKY: Yeah, well, since you know I'm asking...

ZOE: We used a condom. You should be fine.

RICKY: I should be, yeah.

ZOE: You don't have any symptoms or anything, do you?

RICKY: No.

ZOE: Well, the only way you're gonna know for sure is if you actually go see a doctor.

RICKY: I realize that. I'd just like to know what my chances are before I go to a doctor.

ZOE: Well, I would say the chances are pretty good that you'd have something. Even if it's just a minor, unheard-of sexually transmitted something, because you've slept with everyone, and that means you've slept with everyone everyone's slept with, and that adds up to hundreds of people. So...good luck.



Amy meets the new counselor.

AMY: I heard Dr. Bink left, but I have a gift I wanted to get to her. She got me into a program in New York this past summer that kind of changed my life.

KATELYN: No kidding? I hope I can change some lives. That's really wonderful. Wait. Is that true? Changed your life? Wow.

AMY: Yeah. It's true. She changed my life. Or that program that she tricked me into changed my life. But I just wanted to say thank you. I'm really grateful for everything she did for me. Could I get an address for her? Or could you send this to her?

KATELYN: I think I can get you her new work address. I think that would be allowed.

AMY: All right. Thank you. Nice to meet you.

KATELYN: You, too, whoever you are.



Amy leaves, Ashley comes in.



ASHLEY: Oh, that's really no one. No one you should be concerned about anyway. Are you the new counselor?

KATELYN: Yes. I'm Katelyn O'Malley.

ASHLEY: Oh, just the last name, please. This is about actual school business.

KATELYN: All right. I'm Ms. O'Malley. And you are?

ASHLEY: Ashley Juergens. You mind?



They enter in the counselor’s office.



ASHLEY: I just need to get some forms for home schooling.

KATELYN: Oh, I love home schooling. Do you have someone to act as your teacher at home?

ASHLEY: Oh, I don't need a teacher. I'm gonna do it myself.

KATELYN: Oh. That's interesting. Were you enrolled here last year?

ASHLEY: Yes.

KATELYN: It was not a good experience?

ASHLEY: No.

KATELYN:

Tell me about it.

ASHLEY: Why?

KATELYN: I just thought that if you told me what you didn't like about going to school here, maybe I could help fix the problem or help you deal with it.

ASHLEY: I don't like the teachers or the students. I don't like the lockers or the hallways or the classrooms or the lunchroom, and I don't like the rules or the regulations or the requirements or the report cards, and I hate...I absolutely hate anyone who thinks she can help me.

KATELYN: Okay. Well, then, um, here's the form. Just fill it out and get it back to me, and we'll get you all set up, if this is really what you want to do.

ASHLEY: This is really what I want to do.

(Ashley leaves)

KATELYN: I have been here 15 minutes, and I have already lost one. Yeah, this is going well.



Ashley meets Grant.



GRANT: Hi, Ashley. Good to see you. How are things at home?

ASHLEY: Awesome.

GRANT: Ashley, wait up. Come on. We're friends.



Ashley leaves, Griffin comes to talk with Grant.



GRIFFIN: Forget it. She had a tough summer. And she doesn't think you're friends. You couldn't answer her text messages?

GRANT: I didn't know her parents were divorced for real until you told me, and then she wouldn't answer my text messages. She's not that easy to be friends with, you know?

GRIFFIN: Believe me, I know.

GRANT: So how's Peter?

GRIFFIN: Peter's great.



Adrian and Grace discuss together in a hall.



ADRIAN: Tom is vice president of human resources? He hires people?

GRACE: No, he diminishes the potential for lawsuits. His boss says he has a real talent for it.

ADRIAN: What does that mean?

GRACE: I don't know.

(They join Grant and Griffin)

GRACE: Hey, sweetie. Hey, Griffin.

GRIFFIN: Grace. Adrian. Wow.

(Griffin goes away)

GRANT: Hey.

GRACE: Hey.

ADRIAN: Okay, I hope you two know that if you're having sex, this is what can happen.

GRACE: We are well aware. And we're not. We're waiting.

GRANT: We waited, anyway.

ADRIAN: I'll see you later.

GRACE: Yeah.

(Adrian leaves)

GRANT: You want to talk to your mom tonight? I mean, we waited, so technically, I think we're good to go. And I feel good that we kept our promise this summer.

GRANT: Me, too. And I feel even better that the summer's over.

GRACE: Yep. Summer's over.



Jack and Madison talk.



JACK: I'm sorry. What?

MADISON: I met him at work, and we just clicked.

JACK: You clicked how? You had sex with him?

MADISON: No, I haven't had sex with him. I haven't even been out with him. But I am gonna go out with him. I just have to ask my dad.

JACK: I didn't do anything all summer. I didn't go out with anyone. I didn't do anything.

MADISON: Well, I didn't do anything either.

JACK: You met someone.

MADISON: Well, maybe I was destined to meet someone.

JACK: Were you also destined to have sex with someone? And by that, I mean some guy other than me?



Lauren and Jesse pass and are heard the diccussion.



LAUREN: Uh-oh.

JESSE: Yeah. Doesn't look good. Well, things happen.

LAUREN: What things? What is up with you? And what "things"?

JESSE: It's just that, you know, people who meet in high school don't always stay together, you know?

LAUREN: What people?

JESSE: Lauren, it's not that I did anything this summer, and it's not that I met anyone. But I'm a senior this year, and then I'll probably be going away to school next year, and...

LAUREN: And what?

JESSE: The thing is…

LAUREN: Just stop right there. I got it.



Amy sees Ricky to speak with an other girl.



GIRL: Shouldn't I be asking you that?

RICKY: Probably.

AMY: Did I scare you by asking you to get tested? Going back to your old habits instead?

RICKY: I'm not going back to my old habits. I can still talk to other women, right?

AMY: Right. What are you talking to them about?

RICKY: What do you think I'm talking to them about?

AMY: I don't know. I'm not accepting personal testimony. I'm gonna need actual proof, a medical test from a legitimate source. And it doesn't have to be right away. When you're ready. When you want to take that next step with me.

RICKY: I don't want to get tested, so maybe we just go back to the way things were and forget this stupid dating thing. Maybe we shouldn't even think about having sex. We don't have to have sex.

AMY: But I want to have sex with you... at some point. But it's up to you. And I don't really want to go back to how things were. I don't even think that's possible. I think something better is possible.

(Ashley joins them)

ASHLEY: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm gonna need a ride home.

AMY: Something better is possible.

ASHLEY: And by "something better," she doesn't just mean sex, she means marriage.



BUCHERY



Ben, Ricky and Bunny talk together.



RICKY: I can work the counter.

BEN: If you want it, it's all yours. Today's the day, you know?

RICKY: What day?

BUNNY: The day you both actually work? Could this be the day?

BEN: We find out the sex of the baby today.

RICKY: Oh, do you? Would you like me to go and videotape that for you like you did with Amy?

BEN: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

RICKY: I haven't. I'm gonna have that videotape for the rest of John's life.

BEN: You might want to transfer it to DVD. And I'm sure at some point you'll thank me.

RICKY: I doubt it.

BEN: Well, John will. Your son will. And you seem awfully cranky. Not having sex not working out for you?

RICKY: It's gonna work out for me.

BEN: Really? Because it didn't work out for you the last time you had sex with Amy.

RICKY: Yeah, actually, it did.

BEN: Oh, I see. Then I guess it worked out for Adrian and me, too, because we're also having a baby.

RICKY: Yeah, anyone can see that. Even blind people can see that.

BEN: Is that a remark about Adrian's girth?

RICKY: Her what?

BUNNY: All right. This is not the day you're going to work. That day is yet to come. Bye, Ben.

BEN: It is?

BUNNY: Good-bye!

BEN: Fine with me. I can leave?

BUNNY: Yes, you can leave.

BEN: Great. I'll have time to go by and pick up the camera and pick up Adrian, and I can't wait to show you the DVD.

BUNNY: Yeah. We can't wait to see it.

(Ben leaves)

BUNNY: Where were you before you came in here just now?

RICKY: Where was I?

BUNNY: Mm-hmm.

RICKY: I took the trash out.

BUNNY: We take the trash out at the end of the day. "We," meaning you.

RICKY: I had to make a few phone calls. I know you have a rule about that, but I had to talk to some people.

BUNNY: What people are more important than your job?

RICKY: Girls I slept with. I have to get tested. Amy's not gonna have sex with me unless I get tested.

BUNNY: Unless you're having sex during work hours, I don't really need to know about that, all right? Just go. Go do what you gotta do. Just get tested. You can make all the phone calls you want, but the only way you're really gonna know is if you actually get tested.

RICKY: I know that. I just don't know if I want to, all right?

BUNNY: Well, I don't know if anybody wants to. But if you dance, you pay the piper.

RICKY: In English?

BUNNY: If you have sex with multiple partners, sooner or later you're gonna find yourself in this situation, unfortunately. Go. I'm sure everything's just fine.



JUERGUES’ HOUSE



Amy and John go home. George makes food.



AMY: Hey, Dad.

GEORGE: Oh, hey, Ames. Hey, John. Want to help Grandpa make dinner?

AMY: I have homework. But we can spend some time with you.

GEORGE: Go spend time with yourself. Better to do it now than when you're my age or your mother's.

AMY: You know, if you want to go out, go out. Ashley and I are perfectly capable of making a sandwich or ordering a pizza. You don't have to cook every night.

GEORGE: It's a school night. I promised your mother I'd stay home until you and Ashley graduate high school, and that's what I'm gonna do.

AMY: I don't think she meant you should never go out of the house.

GEORGE: I think she did.

AMY: Ashley may never even graduate from high school. She signed up for home schooling.

GEORGE: I know that, and I'm okay with home schooling if she's okay with home schooling. If that's what she wants to do, and that's what's right for her, then fine by me. I'm unflappable. You can't flap me.

AMY: I asked Ricky to get tested.

GEORGE: For what?

AMY: For you know what.

GEORGE: Because?

AMY: Because we might have sex. I might have sex with him at some point.

GEORGE: You two are gonna have sex?

AMY: Eventually. Probably.

GEORGE: Interesting.

AMY: "Interesting"? That's all you have to say about that, "interesting"?

GEORGE: Well, I guess it's your decision whether or not to have sex-- yours and Ricky's.

AMY: I guess it is.

GEORGE: And suppose he tests positive for something? What then?

AMY: Then we deal with it. There are treatments for most everything.

GEORGE: Not herpes, not HIV.

AMY: There may not be a cure, but there are treatments.

GEORGE: Surely to God, you're not gonna put your life at risk after having a baby at 15?

AMY: No. That's why I'm asking him to get tested.

GEORGE: What makes you think he will?

AMY: I think he will at some point.

GEORGE: The point he wants to have sex with you.

AMY: Yeah. And I want to have sex with him. I don't mean right away, but…

GEORGE: But you don't mean when you're married either.

AMY: Maybe I do.

GEORGE: You want to get married in high school?

AMY: I have a baby, and I'm in high school.

GEORGE: All right. Well, would you have sex with him if you knew you were never gonna be married to him?

AMY: No, probably not.

GEORGE: Well, he's just not the marrying type, Ames.

AMY: I think you know that. I do not know that, and you certainly don't know that.

GEORGE: All right. You're probably gonna get married one day, right? If not to Ricky, to some other guy?

AMY: Yeah. I hope so. I mean, it's not my first concern, but, yeah, I probably will get married.

GEORGE: Wouldn't it be nice if the first, last and only guy you sleep with is the guy you marry?

AMY: Yeah, really nice, which is why I feel comfortable with my decision to do this? You forgot that I already had sex with him, didn't you?

GEORGE: Yeah.

AMY: Sometimes I forget, too. But you're getting good at having these conversations. I mean, if I hadn't already had sex with Ricky, you would've made a good point, a really good point.



HOSPITAL



Ricky comes in to make the test.



RICKY: Hi.

NURSE: Hi.

RICKY: I'm wondering if I could get a test for HIV and some other things.

NURSE: Sure. Not a problem. Just have a seat over there, and a counselor will be right with you.

(Margret is here)

RICKY: What is wrong with me?

MARGARET: I hope nothing.



Margaret waits with Ricky after he passes the test.



MARGARET: Well, I would've come with you.

RICKY: I don't need my mommy to come with me to get this kind of test, all right? Today's not the day you work here.

MARGARET: Well, I switched days with someone this week, all right? And you know you could've gone over to Shakur's office. He would've had this test.

RICKY: He's a surgeon. I'm not having anything cut off. I hope. I wasn't planning on telling my mommy or my daddy. Geez. Amy.

MARGARET: This was Amy's idea?

RICKY: Yes, this was Amy's idea.

MARGARET: What's your concern-- that you might have something or that... you might share something with her?

RICKY: I'm hoping to share something with her, but not a STI or HIV.

MARGARET: I see. So this is preliminary?

RICKY: Yes. A preliminary requirement.

MARGARET: How preliminary?

RICKY: I don't know. It's just the seco.d step in what could be a never-ending process.

MARGARET: Good.

RICKY: Not good.

MARGARET: You know, in order for this test to be accurate, you should not have had sex for…

RICKY: I haven't. That was step one.

MARGARET: No kidding?

RICKY: No kidding.

MARGARET: I'm happy to hear that. In fact, I'm happy that you're here. I think this is a very responsible thing to do.

RICKY: All right. Well, you can go now.

MARGARET: You don't want me to wait for you? Because we could go and grab some dinner, just the two of us, and then maybe you could stay over tonight just for old time's sake.

RICKY: No. I'll be fine, Mom.

MARGARET: All right. If you change your mind, you…

RICKY: I won't.

MARGARET: So, um, Amy's okay?

RICKY: Yes, Amy's fine. Look, you work here, so you're probably comfortable hanging out here. I'm kind of in a hurry to get outta here. Do you mind?

MARGARET: All right. You're right. You call me when you get the results.

RICKY: Yeah. When will that be?

MARGARET: Um, tomorrow. Although, it is a little late in the day, so it could be the day after tomorrow.

RICKY: Whatever. I'm really not worried about it. I always use a condom. Always.

MARGARET: Ricky, you're gonna be fine. But if you're not, most problems are treatable.

RICKY: What?

MARGARET: I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

RICKY: Well, hearing about it in health class is different than sitting here, all right? So just go. I want to get this over with.

MARGARET: Call me.


Ben and Adrian wait the date with the doctor.



BEN: I don't have to be in the room with you. I mean, I've never been in there with you before, and you've always been fine. I could just wait out here with the camera and wait for you to come out, and that way, you know, we don't have anything on film for posterity that people shouldn't be looking at. You know what I mean?

ADRIAN: I want you in there with me for this one. This is the big one. You're not gonna get anything on camera that we wouldn't want to see later. It's nothing. They're just gonna rub some stuff all over my belly and slide this thing around, and we can see the baby. And then we can see and hear the heartbeat. Look, it's really cool. You're gonna love it. And we're going to find out if we're having a son or daughter. I'm really excited that you're going in with me.

BEN: I don't know, Adrian. I am a little squeamish about these things, and Dr. Attavi hates me.

ADRIAN: You'll be fine. I'll get you through this, and then you get me through the birthing process.

BEN: I do want to be there when the baby's born. I don't want a front-row seat...but I do want to be there. But I've got a few months to get ready for that. It's just that having a baby is so...intimate.

ADRIAN: We had sex. Sex is intimate.

BEN: I had my eyes closed most of the time.

ADRIAN: Oh, no, you didn't.

BEN: All right. But that wasn't a medical procedure. I just…I feel like maybe this is something that you should do with...your mother?

ADRIAN: It's not my mother's baby. Look, just because Amy wanted her mother there with her doesn't mean my mother should be there with me. Her mother was there for her because Ricky wasn't there for her. And I really hate that you were there for Amy but you don't want to be here for me.

BEN: I didn't go in with Amy. I wasn't actually there with her. I was just out in the waiting room.

ADRIAN: That wasn't your baby, Ben. This is your baby.

BEN: I know, Adrian. I...I guess I'm just afraid of doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing or being embarrassed or embarrassing you.

ADRIAN: We already did the wrong thing. There's really nothing you could say that would be wrong. Okay, if you say something wrong, you'll know it, and you can take it back or apologize for it. And what is there to be embarrassed about? You've seen my stomach. I show you my stomach all the time.

BEN: Yeah. But we're alone, and you're otherwise dressed.

ADRIAN: I'm gonna be otherwise dressed for this. Come on, Ben. This is a really exciting day. I can't wait to find out, and I can't wait to tell our parents.

BEN: You're right. It is a very exciting day. But what if it's so exciting that I pass out?

ADRIAN: You're not going to pass out, okay? You're gonna sit next to me and hold my hand. Okay, you sit next to me, and I'll hold your hand, okay? But I want you there, Ben. I really don't want you to miss this.

DOCTOR: Adrian, Ben, want to come on back?



TOM’S OFFICE



Tammy enters in the office.



TAMMY: There's a guy here for you. Are you available?

TOM: Sorry. I was just leaving. Want to share a bus ride home?

TAMMY: No. My husband is waiting for me. My husband. I have a husband!

TOM: Please. We have work. Enough about your personal life.

(Man comes in)

MAN: Hi. Excuse me. I noticed you haven't left quite yet. May I come in?

TOM: You are in.

MAN: Ah. Are you Tom Bowman? Are you the vice president of human resources?

TOM: Yes.

MAN: No kidding?

TOM: No kidding.

MAN: All right. Well, uh, is there anyone else in human resources I can talk to?

TOM: No. Why?

MAN: Well, the thing is, I'm, uh, I'm having some problems.

TOM: Really? You think you got problems?

MAN: Right. Well, I'm actually having problems with Milton.

TOM: Maybe you should talk to Milton.

MAN: Talk to Milton about problems with Milton? You've seen Milton. Okay? He's condescending. He's arrogant. He's vindictive. He's got anger issues. The guy is insane.

TOM: And yet, you don't mind working for him.

MAN: No, no, no. I do mind working for him. Okay? I work my butt off for that man, and all I get is criticism.

TOM: Bad service review?

MAN: Something like that. Yeah. I mean, who is he to give me a bad service review?

TOM: It's his company. No Milton, no company.

MAN: I don't know how that idiot got to be so successful.

TOM: He's got idiots like you working for him.

MAN: You know what? You're right. You're right. I am the idiot. And I'm not going to keep working for that guy and make him even more successful. I mean, why am I doing this? Why am I spending 40 hours a week working for Milton?

TOM: I don't know.

MAN: Well, you know what? Hmm? I quit.

TOM: You quit?

MAN: That's right. I quit.

TOM: If you quit, you quit.

MAN: That's right!

(Man leaves, Milton enters in the office)

MILTON: Look at you. You just saved us another unemployment claim. You're a genius, Tommy boy.

TOM: I know. Excuse me. I have to catch the bus.

MILTON: Okay.



MADISON’S BEDROOM



Madison says to her father she wants to go out with a guy.



MADISON: So I want to go out with him.

MADISON’S FATHER: He's the guy you worked with this summer? You didn't mention this guy all summer. You met a guy. That's good. I think that's good, Madison. Why didn't you tell me? Why haven't you gone out with him before now?

MADISON: Well, we couldn't go out this summer because of company policy for employees not to date. But I don't work there anymore, so I'm free to go out with him.

MADISON’S FATHER: But he was not your supervisor or anything like that, right?

MADISON: No, he was.

MADISON’S FATHER: He was what?

MADISON: He was my boss.

MADISON’S FATHER: Your boss?

MADISON: Please, it's not like he's an old man. He's 20, you know? He's three years older than me.

MADISON’S FATHER: But what happened to Jack?

MADISON: Well, you were right. Jack and I needed to break up.

MADISON’S FATHER: Take a break, not break up altogether, not entirely. I said you could go out again when school starts, and...school started.

MADISON: I know.

MADISON’S FATHER: I think 20's a little old.

MADISON: Dad, I can't help how old he is. And it's not like he's trying to get me to do what Jack and I did. I don't think he's interested in that.

MADISON’S FATHER: No, of course not. What 20-year-old boss trying to date their 17-year-old employee would be interested in something like that? Madison, while you're in high school, I want you to date someone in high school, please.

MADISON: That's the thing, Dad. He is in high school. Well kind of. He's at a technical high school. He went back for his diploma. He had to drop out because of some family problems, but he went back, and I think that's admirable.

MADISON’S FATHER: Yes. Admirable. Family problems?

MADISON: Oh, yeah. He got married before he was out of high school. But he's divorced now, so that's completely over.

MADISON’S FATHER: You're not joking or anything like that, are you?

MADISON: No. I swear. You're gonna love him. You just have to give him a chance.

MADISON’S FATHER: Or not.

MADISON: Dad, Sammy is a nice guy. He is a really nice guy, and he's a lot more mature than Jack.



GRACE’S HOUSE



Grant and Grace have a conversation with Kathleen.



KATHLEEN: Well? You wanted to tell me something?

GRACE: Well, we just wanted to point out that we waited, like you asked, and we're still together after all that time.

KATHLEEN: Yeah. What was it, six weeks?

GRACE: Six weeks. Longer than you waited, I imagine.

KATHLEEN: Go on.

GRANT: Those were six very long weeks.

KATHLEEN: But who's complaining?

GRANT: Not me.

KATHLEEN: Grace, you're not complaining, are you?

GRANT: I'm not pushing her, if that's what you're thinking.

GRACE: No, he's not.

GRANT: No, I mean, if anything, she's...

KATHLEEN: All right, you guys. I appreciate that you waited. But my reasons for wanting you to continue to wait are the same reasons I had before. You know the reasons, right? All right. Well, you did wait, and I would like you to wait a while longer.

GRACE: Well, we don't want to wait a while longer.

KATHLEEN: Then, I guess, if that's what you want to do, that's what you want to do. At least you've thought about it, and you're prepared. But…

GRACE: I knew there'd be something.

KATHLEEN: No, no, no. It's just before you actually do anything, I think you both should get tested. Since you both have had sex with other people before.

GRACE: You don't need to get tested, Mom. I mean, when I had sex, we used a condom, and when he had sex, he used a condom, too, right?

GRANT: Uh, yeah. But maybe we've reached the part of the conversation where it should just be the two of us.

KATHLEEN: Yeah, that's fine with me. And Grace and I can maybe talk later. And, Grant, I'm always available to talk to you as well.



Kathleen goes away.



GRACE: What?

GRANT: Here's the thing: The girl I had sex with…

GRACE: Angie?

GRANT: Yeah. Angie hadn't slept with anyone else and neither had I, so we used condoms most of the time, and the rest of the time we were lucky.

GRACE: Careless.

GRANT: Careless and stupid. My point was, I've only had sex with Angie. But you've had sex with Jack, and Jack slept with Adrian, and Adrian slept with Ricky, and both Adrian and Ricky really have slept around a lot. So now, if you and I have sex, we're having sex with everyone they had sex with. And even though you used a condom with Jack, I think maybe you should get tested, just to be safe. What do you think?

GRACE: I'll tell you what I think. I think Angie's a liar. You're the first person she ever had sex with? Yeah, right.

GRANT: You don't even know her.

GRACE: I know her type. Well, I know Jack. And for your information, Jack only had oral sex with Adrian.

GRANT: Oh, yeah? I think your old boyfriend's a liar. And you can get STIs from oral sex.

GRACE: We only had sex one time, and we used a condom.

GRANT: The entire time you used a condom?

GRACE: What? I don't know. I don't remember anyway. I mean, he took care of that. I wasn't paying attention to that.

GRANT: Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Because you were enjoying it so much.

GRACE: I'm sorry. I'm not gonna get tested for anything, because I don't have anything.

GRANT: Okay. So, we just wait a while longer.

GRACE: Because?

GRANT: Because now I'm not that comfortable.



Door closes, Jack comes in.



GRACE: Jack! I want you to get tested.

JACK: I've been tested. Why?

GRACE: You said you only had oral sex with Adrian. Before me, I mean.

JACK: True.

GRANT: True, you said it, or true, that's all you did?

JACK: Why is my sex life any of your business? Oh. It wouldn't hurt to get tested.

GRACE: Why do you say that?

JACK: I might have come into contact with an infection at some point. Nothing that didn't respond to medication. I'm clear. I'm good to go now. Not that I have any place to go.

GRACE: What?

JACK: It happens. It's a fact of life. And by the way, I don't know if you've heard, but Madison broke up with me for some guy.

(Grace leaves upset)

JACK: I'm sure she's fine. We used a condom. And, you being a would-be doctor, you'd be using a condom, too, right?

GRANT: I'm really not gonna talk about this with you.



RICKY’S APARTMENT/AMY’S BEDROOM



Ricky calls Amy.



AMY (at phone): Hi. I texted you a couple of times.

RICKY (at phone): Yeah, I know. I couldn't text you back.

AMY (at phone): Why is that? Still busy with your survey?

RICKY (at phone): No, no. I'm not doing that anymore. I did what you asked me to do. I got tested.

AMY (at phone): Oh.

RICKY (at phone): That's it… "Oh"?

AMY (at phone): I would've gone with you if I had known you were going to do that.

RICKY (at phone): I didn't want you to go with me. I didn't want anyone to go with me.

AMY (at phone): But getting tested can be scary. I mean, even if you know everything's probably fine, it's still very emotional.

RICKY (at phone): For girls maybe. I'm fine. I'll let you know when I hear something.

AMY (at phone): Uh, will you hear something tomorrow?

RICKY (at phone): Or the next day or whenever. I'll talk to you later. I just got home.

AMY (at phone): Okay. Uh, thanks, Ricky. Thank you for doing that. Bye.

RICKY (at phone): Bye. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God! What if I have something? This sucks. This totally sucks.



ANNE’S OFFICE/ASHLEY’S BEDROOM



Ashley calls her mother.



ANNE: Hey, Ashley. I was hoping you'd call. How was school today?

ASHLEY: Well, I got that application for home schooling. Dad said it was okay.

ANNE: Well, Ashley, I don't know if it's okay. Maybe you should just suck it up and go to school. You need to be around people.

ASHLEY: Not those people.

ANNE: Well, I hated high school, too.

ASHLEY: But you went, so I have to go?

ANNE: I'm not saying you have to go. I'm just saying do the best thing for yourself.

ASHLEY: I really think it is the best thing for myself and...You did the best thing for you, and I'm gonna do the best thing for me. And besides, if I'm home schooled, I can be at your home sometimes, if you want.

ANNE: Of course I want. I love it when you come here-- you and Amy and John.

ASHLEY: But I doubt Amy's gonna have time. I think she and Ricky are gonna be spending more time together.

ANNE: Yeah, I heard. What am I supposed to say? She has a baby with him. And I really do think that they care about each other, Ashley. Of course, I don't know if it'll last. No one knows that.

ASHLEY: And that is why I'm never gonna getting married.

ANNE: Maybe you will, and maybe you won't. But your chances of meeting someone are better if you go to school.

ASHLEY: Actually, my chances are probably better if I go to a bar.

ANNE: Funny. No bars.

ASHLEY: All right. Well...I am gonna get my license.

ANNE: Well, you need driver's ed if you do that. And you know where you can get it for free? High school.

ASHLEY: Mom, I'm gonna try home school. And if it doesn't work out…

ANNE: You can drop out and work at the furniture store. I'm joking.

ASHLEY: That was actually funny.

ANNE: Yeah. I'm a lot funnier now that I'm happy, Ashley. But I miss you.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I miss you, too, Mom. Good night.

ANNE: Good night.



ADRIAN’S HOUSE



Cindy and Ruben are anxious.



CINDY: Boy. I'd like a boy.

RUBEN: Me, too. Could be a boy. But a girl would be nice. A boy or a girl.

CINDY: I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a boy or a girl, Ruben.

RUBEN: I know. So, are we excited yet?

CINDY: We're totally supportive is what we are.

RUBEN: Oh, come on. Get excited.

CINDY: I don't want her to have a baby.

RUBEN: But she's having a baby, so...

CINDY: So...I hope everything goes well.

RUBEN: Get excited. And if you're not excited, pretend to be excited. Maybe if you pretend to get excited, you'll actually be excited. Damn it, Cindy. Get excited.

CINDY: Ruben!

RUBEN: I'm tired of being excited about this baby all by myself. It's a baby. The baby doesn't know that Adrian and Ben aren't married.

CINDY: No, the baby will probably be school age before he figures that out.

RUBEN: Which is why those two should get married?

CINDY: Are we actually gonna argue about this tonight? Again tonight?

(Door opens, Ben and Adrian go back)

CINDY/RUBEN: Tell us.

BEN: “Es una niña”



BOYKEWICH’S HOUSE



Ben announces the news to Betty and his father.



BEN: It's a girl.

BETTY: Oh, it's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl! I knew it, I knew it! Oh!

LEO: You did, Betty. You said it was a girl all along.

BETTY: Right? I really wanted a girl. And I still do.

BEN: Me, too.

LEO: Can't say I cared either way. As long as the baby's healthy and she grows up happy.

BETTY: How is she not gonna grow up happy with Ben as her daddy? Oh, Ben, you're gonna make a great dad. You really are.

BEN: I'm gonna try. I'm seriously gonna try, but not that I could ever be as good as my own dad.

BETTY: Aw. Well, I'm gonna let you two talk. I'm gonna go upstairs and call Adrian. Is that all right, Ben?

BEN: Sure, Betty. I'm sure she'll love to hear from you. Good night.

BETTY: Uh, Ben? Uh, how's that ring? Is it still good?

BEN: Yeah, the ring's still very good.

BETTY: Oh.

(She leaves)

BEN: You would've been proud of me today. I got through the sonogram without passing out, and I got to see the heartbeat, and it was amazing. It was just amazing. Just swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. This tiny little heart in this tiny human being. This tiny girl. It's my girl. We're having a girl. I can't wait to see her when she's born, and...I can't even imagine it looking at her face for the first time. It's gonna be something. Um, did you want to talk to me about, um, Adrian and I getting married? Is that why Betty left?

LEO: Not necessarily. I just wondered where you are with that a day like today, a night like tonight. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on where you and Adrian are at this point.



RICKY’S APARTMENT



Ricky’s phone rings but he doesn’t answer. Someone knocks on the door.



NORA: Hey, let me in!

RICKY: Who is it?

NORA: What do you mean, "Who is it?"

(Ricky open the door, it’s his birth’s mother)

NORA: Hi, honey. I'm home. Well. Mmm. Thank you. Thank you, Ricky. Don't worry. I'm gonna find a place of my own.



End of the episode.
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