[SOMBER MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[CLOCK TICKING]
[SIRENS WAILING FAINTLY]
[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you.
[SIGHS]
I thought you left.
Not until you want me to.
[PANTS]
Okay, we got Sameera's tofu bacon, Harper's regular bacon, and Raffi's turkey bacon.
Hey, if I pick up Harper and Sameera from karate, will you grab Raffi from D&D?
Yes, that just leaves Saleem's piano at 4:00.
No more piano.
I told you!
Well, it would save money, but, um, shouldn't we be teaching them to stick it out?
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- I will grab the troops.
Okay.
Thanks, babe.
- Hello?
- Dr.
Frome?
It's Roz.
Roz, hey.
Hi.
Great news.
I have a baby for you.
What?
You you have, like, a real uh, uh, now?
You and Martin have 24 hours to report to Brownsville, Texas to start the custody paperwork.
That's that's not a lot of hours, Roz.
Uh, I, um Breakfast now because we're leaving in two minutes!
You know what?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
So what do you think about piano lessons?
Oh, you know, um, I support whatever you decide.
Hey, come on.
We decide this stuff together.
Right.
Righty.
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
Wait.
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- [GROANING]
- Hey!
- Let's go.
You've got a dump and run in the bay.
Pupil response is sluggish.
- Another OD?
- It's never-ending.
[COUGHS]
She's one of ours.
Shayna Davis.
- [GROANS]
- Shayna?
Shayna, you're at New Amsterdam.
- Oh, it hurts.
Oh, God.
- Okay, where does it hurt?
It hurts everywhere.
Please, just make it stop.
I'm gonna need you to be more specific.
Ask Dr.
Sharpe.
She knows.
We need more money, Helen.
- My clinical trial's coming up - You mean our trial.
[SIGHS]
Yes, you know what I mean.
- But the startup costs are - I hear you.
We're not selling the proton beam laser.
Cutting edge and cheap don't exactly mingle.
$40 million can go a long way We're the only hospital in the tristate area offering proton beam therapy.
Where are all those patients gonna get treatment?
All six of them?
We are trying to change cancer treatment for millions.
- We're not there yet.
- We could be.
With that kind of money, we can make the proton beam laser obsolete in a couple of years.
That is the issue.
It's not obsolete now.
[PHONE VIBRATING]
I really think you should recon [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Shayna?
Look at me.
Heroin?
It's the only thing that works.
The pain is just What about the Percocet I prescribed?
It it barely made a dent.
After my last round of chemo, I I could barely get through the day unless I tripled up.
[SOFT SOMBER MUSIC]
When did you run out?
Two weeks before my next refill.
I I tried to find some on the street, but [STAMMERS]
Heroin was cheaper.
[SIGHS]
I guess this is this is my life now getting high with a bunch of junkies at the Dalton.
Pain management is a part of cancer treatment.
There is no shame in that.
Do you hear me?
I can make you comfortable while we treat your tumor.
Can I have something now?
It just it hurts so much.
We have to wait for your tox screen to come back to make sure that the heroin wasn't laced with anything.
I'm not gonna make it.
I'm Yes, you will.
I'm gonna make sure of it.
[SIGHS]
Has Tawan had any significant changes in his diet recently?
No.
And he's current on all his vaccinations?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And he's had no dramatic weight loss?
No, he's never had any health issues until now.
It's like everything changed overnight.
Yeah.
His grades dropped off, his teacher said he can't concentrate on anything for very long.
And the shivers.
- The shivers?
- Yeah, he, uh, he started having these weird muscle twitches.
We're gonna figure out what's wrong, okay?
Well, what could be causing this?
Well, I think we should order an MRI and get some blood tests You must have a theory or guess.
Um, well, it sounds like it could be an early onset of MS.
MS?
We'll know more once the tests come back.
Your leg is late for a very important date.
You were supposed to be in pre-op 30 minutes ago.
Okay, how do you know?
Uh, because you didn't answer any of your pre-op texts or calls, so then they harassed me.
Okay, well, I have a cardio pulling up any second, so I'm gonna have to reschedule my surgery.
Nope, I'm here.
I can hold down the fort.
- No offense, but actually - No buts, just legs that leg, up to surgery.
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]
Gabriela Alvarez, 34, 28 weeks pregnant.
150/85, 130, diaphoretic.
Decreased respiration bilaterally with increased effort.
Doctor, doctor, please save my baby.
[PANTING]
Okay, let's get her to Trauma 1.
- Where's Reynolds?
- He's on his way.
Max?
Max.
- Max.
- What?
Maybe you let us handle this one.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
What do we got?
Right heart strain.
Signs of tissue damage in the left lung.
Dr. Duke, what does that indicate?
Pulmonary embolism?
Ms. Alvarez?
I'm Dr.
Reynolds.
You have a clot in your lung.
That's why you're having trouble breathing.
What about my baby?
Dr. Goodwin?
Dr. Reynolds?
Why isn't anyone helping my baby?
- Ms.
Alvarez - Prep me some lidocaine.
[INAUDIBLE]
is priority.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- The fetus d*ed en route.
- Gabriela, turn towards me.
How?
The left ventricle was hyper plastic, and there was stenosis in the aortic valve.
Fetus wasn't viable.
We're not losing Gabriela too.
You're gonna feel a slight pinch and then some burning.
I'll need a central line kit.
And prep an infusion of TPA.
The lidocaine is in.
Starting central line.
Pay attention, Duke.
About 250 CC there.
Central line is in.
[INDISTINCT]
in 20. TPA is in.
O2 sats at 88% and rising.
Is my baby okay?
Gabriela.
Mm?
What I'm about to say is is gonna be impossible to hear.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
I'm not I'm not sure I understand it.
- I do something wrong?
- No.
No, you didn't do anything wrong.
It's just that bad genetic luck.
The baby's heart never developed properly.
And there is nothing that anyone could've done to save her.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
Stillbirths happen more than anyone ever wants to acknowledge.
What do you mean stillbirth?
She wasn't Gabi, we have to induce labor to get the baby out.
No.
No!
[SNIFFLES]
You mean I have to go through all of that with no baby at the end?
It's the safest way.
[SOBS]
I'm sorry.
Is there anyone that you'd like me to call?
Family, friend, partner?
No.
There's no one else.
It was just gonna be the two of us.
Just me and S It's okay.
It's okay to say her name if you want to.
Sofie.
Will you stay with me?
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[MELLOW PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
Are you following me?
Well, maybe.
Don't you have lives to save or some surgery to perform?
I'm escorting you to yours.
- Why?
- I don't know.
Thought maybe you could use a friend.
Mm, thank you.
But actually, I have my mother.
Jeanie knows about your surgery?
Mm-hmm.
She doesn't even know when your birthday is.
Well, she knows the month.
That's progress.
It's one of my 12 steps to make amends with her.
I don't know.
She cared enough to show up, so Hi, uh, have you seen a woman who looks like me, only immediately makes you feel bad about yourself?
[CHUCKLES]
No.
You expecting someone?
- Lauren - I am a big girl, okay?
I don't need balloons or a stuffed elephant or my mommy to send me off to surgery.
You sure?
'Cause I can just I am fine, okay?
Go do your job.
Go!
Go and do your job.
- Okay.
- I'm fine.
[SCOFFS]
[SOMBER MUSIC]
Social services to the ICU.
Dr. Kapoor, I just got Tawan's test results back.
And?
Nothing in the labs or MRI points to MS.
I'm not surprised.
I wrote down my diagnosis.
Schilder's disease?
You asked the right questions, but you should have listened more carefully to the answers.
Tawan's behavior, his withdrawing So he needs corticosteroids?
A rigorous course.
In future, it's all right to offer a hypothesis, but only if it's an informed one.
[BEEPERS VIBRATING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Get them off me!
Get them off!
They're on my face!
Tawan, there's nothing on you!
He thinks there are spiders crawling all over him.
Haloperidol.
Get them off!
Get them off!
- Hold him still.
- They're on you too!
[WHIMPERING]
Get them off!
Get them - Shh.
- [PANTING]
Hallucinations aren't a symptom of Schilder's.
- Are they?
- No.
LOC is shifting.
BP dropping.
He's still.
[SIREN WAILING FAINTLY]
Dr Sharpe, did you discharge Shayna Davis?
- No, why?
- I think she bolted.
- Should I call security?
- No.
No, no.
I think I know where she is.
[SEEDY MUSIC]
[MAN GROANING]
[WOMAN GROANING]
[MAN MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
[WOMAN COUGHING]
Hey, I got it.
[MAN COUGHING HEAVILY]
- Shayna.
- [GASPS]
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Let me help you.
- You can't.
This is all I have this or the pain, and I cannot take the pain.
- I I can't.
- Shayna [SIGHS]
You're not gonna talk me out of it.
Okay, all right.
If you're gonna do this, then at least do it somewhere safe.
Ugh.
Somewhere with clean needles and clean works.
Oh, yeah?
And what place is that?
I'm gonna take you there.
[SHAKY BREATH]
Okay, Gabi.
This is it.
Big push.
Oxytocin interval.
15 minutes.
[EXHALES]
[SOFTLY]
Okay.
- [GRUNTS]
- That's it.
2 Mu per minute dose.
- [GROANING]
- You're doing great.
[SOFT SOMBER MUSIC]
You're doing great.
[SOBS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[STRAINING]
[SOBS]
Okay.
Great job, Gabi.
You did it.
You did it, Gabi.
It's over.
Pulse 92.
BP 130/90.
[SIGHS]
It's so quiet.
[SOBS QUIETLY]
[SOFTLY]
I know.
I know.
Gabi?
Do you wanna hold her?
[SOBS]
I can't.
I know.
I know.
I know it's hard, but this is still your daughter.
This is Sofie, the baby you have loved for months.
And it's okay to hold her, even if it's just to say good-bye.
I can't.
[SOBS]
It's okay.
It's okay.
[SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Gabi?
Sofie's here.
[SNIFFLES]
This is called a CuddleCot.
It's a special bassinet that keeps stillborn babies cool so they can stay with their parents a little longer even after they're gone.
How can - It's so - Morbid?
These devices can give you something that nothing else can time.
That thing can't give me time with Sofie.
Not the time you wish you had.
Nothing can give you that, but it can give you time to grieve.
You know, some parents keep a lock of hair or make a footprint or take pictures all the things that you may have wanted to do, and just because she's passed, doesn't mean that you can't have those memories, those moments.
[TENDER MUSIC]
I think when you lose someone that you love, most of us would choose a few memories, painful as they may be Over no memory at all.
Do you want to talk to a grieve counselor?
No.
Do you want me to take her away?
No.
I just want more time.
Yeah.
Dr. Romer, 78 Tawan's not responding to anything.
His crit's low, oxygenation's poor I don't know what to say to his parents.
I'm sorry, Agnes.
This case was not the piece of cake I was hoping it to be.
I think we should go over his medical history with them one more time.
Maybe we're missing something.
No.
Time for talking is over.
We need to perform the brain biopsy.
That's the only way to get his definitive diagnosis.
Don't you think drilling a hole into his head is a little drastic?
We are running out of time, Agnes.
Go and book an OR, and page me when you find Dr. Chambers, okay?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[MONITOR BEEPING]
IM typical in appearance.
[DRILL WHIRRING]
Fracture union normative.
No attributes Dr.
Bloom's tibia realignment looks good.
So she's doing okay?
I would say better than okay.
Dr. Bloom should have a relatively easy recovery.
Great.
Oh, um, can you keep my being here just between us?
I don't want Dr.
Bloom to know.
That you care?
No, no.
She knows that I care.
She just doesn't like it when I care.
[DOOR OPENS]
Dr. Reynolds?
Duke didn't show up for rounds today.
I can't find him anywhere.
I thought we were past this.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Outpatient pharmacy.
4401.
Outpatient pharmacy.
4401.
Thank you.
- [DOORBELL CHIMES]
- Okay, nearly there.
Um, I'm here to see Omar.
She's with me.
Thank you.
Yeah, just meet me in half an hour.
- You all right?
- Mm.
Who is that?
What is this?
This is a safe consumption space.
People come here to use without the thr*at of as*ault or r*pe, and they're monitored by health care professionals to minimize the risk of overdose.
- How is this legal?
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- It's not.
- Helen Sharpe as I live and breathe.
Omar, thank you so much for this.
We have a cot over here for you.
Okay.
Come.
Have you had much trouble?
Oh, comes and goes, and we've gotten better at evading the cops.
This one's you.
Can you, uh, can you show me your works?
It okay.
You can trust him.
Thank you.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
And if you'll allow me?
Thank thank you.
I need to test your product for Fentanyl to be safe.
I see you've not fully embraced the value of what we do here.
I believe your intentions are good.
Yeah, but not our methods.
If people can start making good decisions here, then we're helping.
You're good to go.
I got a page.
What happened?
- Room six.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't take her away!
- He's just moving her.
- What?
Why?
We have another delivery coming in, and we have to move Ms. Alvarez to post-partum.
You said I could have more time.
- No, she gets to stay.
- But Dr.
Goodwin No.
Out, now.
We still have to clean You will if she asks you to.
If not, you won't.
She can use every resource in this hospital or none of them or anywhere in between.
She is my patient, and she gets to stay in this room with her daughter as long as she wants.
- Is that clear?
- Yeah.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
I I mean it, Gabi.
As long as you need days, weeks.
This room is yours.
So what do I tell the OB's?
That Gabriela Alvarez is not to be disturbed, and if anyone has a problem with that, they can come talk to me, which'll be very easy because I'll be right here.
[SIGHS]
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Isn't she beautiful?
- [EXCITED CHATTER]
Oh, she is.
[BABIES CRYING]
Duke?
Duke.
What, you too good to go on rounds now?
- Rounds?
- Yeah, rounds.
Where the hell have you been?
I was trying to I wanted to help, but I I think I think I just made things worse.
Hey, hey, come here.
What are you talking about?
What happened?
When we were in the ED, I didn't know Ms.
Alvarez's baby wasn't viable.
And when I saw her so so scared and worried, You didn't.
I told her we had the best doctors in the country and that her baby would be fine.
Never promise a patient everything will be fine because you never know what might happen.
I know.
I know.
- I just - No more "I just," man.
Come on, this is day one stuff.
All right?
You never promise.
But you always say patients need hope.
Give them hope.
Without it, they don't get better.
- That's right.
They don't.
- So which is it?
How am I supposed to give someone hope without telling them that we're going to help?
Just be there for them, all right?
When they're waking up from surgery, when they're going under you don't even have to say anything.
Just be there.
[SIGHS]
It makes all the difference.
[SIRENS WAILING FAINTLY]
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
How we feeling?
Oh.
Better.
Whew.
But it never lasts.
Will you come back to the hospital now?
[SIGHS]
[SCOFFS]
[SNIFFS]
If you told me a year ago that I'd be jonesing for heroin to manage the pain from a rare form of cancer, I'd have thought you were crazy.
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
[VOICE BREAKING]
I should I should've called you.
I should've asked for help.
You still can.
[SOBS]
- Vijay.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
So how is Ella?
- Ella?
- Yes, Ella works in Pain de Vie, is carrying my potential grandchild.
I am aware of who Ella is, and you know that I can't talk to you about this.
So she is a patient.
Do I look like I'm gonna tell you anything?
I just don't understand.
What I'm trying to tell over here is - [SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- Okay, I understand.
I know, I know.
Vijay, I get it.
You're feeling helpless.
You're feeling stressed.
We're all stressed.
Hell, I'm stressed.
Stressed about Ella?
No, not about Ella.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I did something stupid.
I contacted an agency about adopting another child, and now they have a baby for me, and I really, really want this baby.
But I haven't told Martin about it yet.
About any of it?
I know.
Ooh, this is bad.
This is super bad.
I, um I swear.
I'm gonna tell him tonight.
Adoption.
Yes, about the adoption.
No, no, no.
My patient he was adopted.
Oh, my God.
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SIGHS]
[MONITOR BEEPING]
And now for the burr hole incision.
- [DRILL WHIRRS]
- Stop.
Tawan was adopted.
He has SSPE from the measles virus.
Are you sure?
We have confirmed a high level of measles antibodies in Tawan's bloodstream.
The virus has imbedded itself in his brain.
But we vaccinated him.
Tawan was three years old when he came to the U. S.
He must've been exposed while living in the orphanage in Thailand.
That was seven years ago.
SSPE can lie dormant for up to ten years, but once it becomes active, it progresses through full stages.
Tawan is in stage three.
Well well, what does that mean?
We will do everything we can to help Tawan fight the virus.
But?
Every case of SSPE I've seen has resulted in in the child's death.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
Hey.
Mind if I join you?
Dr. Proctor asked me to come by and do a consult for Gabriela.
She wants to be left alone.
Yes, that is what grieving people say they want, but it is not always what they need.
Sounds like Gabriela needs help saying goodbye to her daughter.
She's not ready to say goodbye.
If she does, then her daughter will be gone forever.
We still talking about Gabriela here?
- Don't do that.
- Hey, I'm not doing anything.
I'm your guy, okay?
Since the day you came back, I've been running interference for you.
Telling people to give Max his space you know, not to project their needs onto you, that you'll open up when you're ready.
I don't want to open up.
Yeah, I know.
I can see that.
We can all see that, but that's the only way that you get better.
Then I don't want to get better.
If I get better, then I have to let her go.
I don't want to.
Helen.
Where have you been all day?
Meetings off-site.
Why?
We still haven't decided what we're doing to do about the proton beam laser.
Yes, we did, and I'm not having this conversation again.
As long as we are co-chairs of this department, we both have a say on its direction.
[SIGHS]
Excuse me.
Are you Dr.
Helen Sharpe?
Yes.
Please place your hands behind your back.
Wait, what's this all about?
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford one, one will be assigned to you.
If you choose to answer our questions, you have the right to stop at any time.
Do you understand these rights?
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
- [DOOR BUZZES]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Thanks for the rescue.
- What was I going to do?
Let you rot in jail on some trumped-up charges?
Don't worry.
We took care of everything.
We?
Well, I hope you're well-rested because I certainly am not.
She got the charges dropped.
And I kept it out of the press.
Do you know how many favors I had to call in tonight?
They have photos of you in a heroin den.
It's a safe consumption space.
And because of it, my patient is in New Amsterdam instead of dead on the street.
[SCOFFING]
I am not gonna apologize for that.
I don't care if you apologize, but there will be consequences for this.
What consequences?
The board will discuss your fate in the morning.
[TENSE MUSIC]
I'm so sorry, Helen.
I thought she was on our side.
[KEYS CLACKING]
- Anything?
- Not yet.
I've seen so many children die in developing countries from preventable diseases because parents did not have access to vaccines or or know they were important or or couldn't afford them.
But here?
In this country, with all its wealth and education and abundance of vaccines Dr. Kapoor?
[HOPEFUL MUSIC]
- There's a new treatment?
- Very new.
With a lot of anti-vaxxer kids coming of age, SSPE is becoming more common.
It's forcing doctors to try new, untested treatments.
This one is seeing a very limited success.
It's a combination of antiviral and immunomodulatory dr*gs.
You need to understand.
SSPE has no cure.
If this treatment works, Tawan will have to stay on these medications for the rest of his life.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I'm just happy it might work.
It will work.
When can we start?
You will have to ask your doctor.
She's the one who discovered it.
We can start right away.
[BED WHIRRS, CLICK]
Any available IV nurse to OR two.
Any available IV nurse to OR two.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh.
Look who decided to finally show up.
Couldn't even be bothered to bring me any balloons or a stuffed elephant, could you?
Thought you didn't want me hanging around?
Of course I want you hanging around.
You're like my best friend.
How much morphine you on?
But hey, this is what I need you to do for me, okay?
- Mm-hmm?
- I need you to go down to the gift shop and buy all the balloons so all the nurses think that people care about me.
Come on.
People care about you.
No.
That is not true.
People do not care about me.
People tolerate me.
People are glad when I leave a room.
I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
I guess it's just me.
Okay, just, uh first of all, stop that.
And if I didn't care about you, why would I bring you this?
- Peter Lugers?
- Bam!
My dad used to take me to Peter Lugers when I was a kid.
When Jeanie was being extra Jeanie.
You remembered.
Yeah.
So now you've got to get better.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Yes.
You're gonna save some for me, right?
Sure.
So good.
[CHUCKLES]
- Do I have to go?
- No.
I promised.
Remember?
I'm just heading home for the night, but everyone here knows you're not to be disturbed.
Am I crazy?
Keeping her close like this even though she Is it is it healthy?
Is it okay?
It's okay.
It's more than okay.
You can hold her if you want.
I want to, but my head keeps telling me that it'll make it worse, you know, that that's not really her.
She's gone.
And then my heart tells me that's my Sofie.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
That's my baby.
[SOBS]
What would you do?
Uh All that matters here is you.
I feel like I'm sick.
I feel like I'm not normal.
Please, just help me.
Yeah, I, um I I lost someone a few months ago, and it- it can't, uh, compare to what you're going through, but, uh [CHUCKLES]
I I talk to her All the time.
I mean, full-on conversations.
And I I know that people would say that's crazy, that it's not healthy, but I what am I supposed to do?
She she, uh, d*ed right after our daughter was born.
She would've loved every second of it.
But she doesn't she doesn't get to.
She didn't get any of it.
And I don't get her, and neither does neither does Luna.
So I I tried keeping her alive.
You know, to make her a part of these memories.
And I don't [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I really don't care if it's healthy.
It's just what I have to do, you know?
To keep going.
My worry for you, Gabi, is that you will never say goodbye to Sofie If you never say hello.
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
Hey.
Guess who I talked to a little while ago?
I I don't know.
Who?
The kids okay?
Our kids?
Yeah, our kids are fine.
It seems that there's an issue with another kid a baby that, according to Roz, we're adopting?
Babe, I can explain Yeah, you could if you were coming home tonight.
Iggy, I can't even look at you right now.
- Martin.
- No, don't.
Hey.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[TENSE MUSIC]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Yes?
[DOOR OPENS]
Ella.
I've been thinking a lot about everything, and I think I finally I I think I figured out what I really want.
I'm I'm keeping the baby.
[EXHALES]
Really?
Yeah, really.
[CHUCKLES]
Are you lonely?
[INARA GEORGE'S "A BRIDGE"]
- Thank you.
- You're never alone Thank you.
Are you counting every breath?
Ooh Aching for some time Just a little more time [INHALES DEEPLY]
Just a little more time Are you lonely?
Can you hear me?
Ooh I'm talking out loud Trying to understand Ooh Just how it is you feel But I don't wanna say too much I don't wanna say too much I just wanna be here Let's build a bridge - [COOING]
- From your window to mine String a can to a can You could call me anytime Let's make a river And take it down to the sea Let's build a bridge From your window to me A wish for you It's just a simple thing Let's build a bridge From your window to mine String a can to a can I could call you anytime Let's make a river And take it down to the sea - This is goodbye.
- Let's build a bridge From your window to me