03x06 - Why Not Yesterday


Uh, K-Kar...


what's the deal?

Did you not see me?

Of course I did, but I ran because your face says

- you want money for something.

- Oh, well, yeah, I do.

What is it today?

Therapy dogs for postpartum mothers?

Improv classes for survivors of PTSD?

No, good idea, both of those, but I was thinking that...

- I want to end systemic racism.

- Oh, for God's sake.

No, just at the hospital.

Start small, right?

Wow, that's kind of controversial stance.

Walking away, siding with racism.

Kind of a Karen move, Karen.

My exasperation with you has no relation to my thoughts on racism.

Why today, Max?

Knew you were gonna ask that, but there is no answer, because we should be asking the right question, which is why not yesterday?

Why not a year ago?

Why not two years ago when I first took over?

Systemic racism should have been the first thing I addressed when I got to New Amsterdam, and I'm appalled that it wasn't,

- so today it is.

- And you need money for...

A new position, someone to help us identify and eliminate systemic marginalization while correcting inequities throughout the whole hospital.

You want a chief equity officer?

Yeah, that's perfect.

We'll call it that.

Oh, and I am not going anywhere until you give me one.

Well, in that case, go away, because we already have one.

We do?


- Hey.

- Oh, hi there.

Are you... let's see here...

- Isabel?

- Yes.

Great, I'm Max Goodwin, medical director.

How can I help?

I see what you did there.

Um, yeah, I'm here to discuss some pretty disturbing statistics.

- Hit me.

- Okay.

Well, according to the latest report by Health and Human Services, Latinx women are % more likely to have cervical cancer and % more likely to die from it than white women.

Indigenous Americans have twice the HIV infection rate as that of non-Hispanic whites.

Black women are two to six times more likely to die from complications of pregnancy than white women.

Actually, it's times more likely in New York City.

Your statistics are a bit... generic.


- How long have you worked here?

- Three years.

Three... three years?

Well, we have a lot of work to do.

That's exactly what I say to you in my messages.

Once a week, I leave word with your office hoping to get some time with you.

Sorry, you know, sometimes with this hospital, I'm just running and... not important.

- Listen, I'm here now, okay?

- Okay.

And we are gonna fix this, so I want innovative proposals on my desk by tomorrow, and think big.

You know, get creative.

No solution is off the table.

Should we start with acknowledging New Amsterdam's biggest illustration of embedded systemic racism?

Yes, yes, of course.

What is it?


- Good read?

- Don't get me started.

Actually, do get me started.

I've been made executor of my brother's will, and I haven't the foggiest.

I thought you two weren't close.

Well, we weren't, but now I'm in charge of his house, his car, his saxophones.

I mean, the only thing I'm confident about is making arrangements for his daughter Mina to live with her aunt in Dubai...


in an actual palace.

You have a niece.

And apparently a rich second aunt who doesn't want my brother's boat because she already has several.

Well, you keep it.

We could spend our vacation at sea.

Sky, the waves, you and me.

It's a rowboat.

Then Bora Bora it is.

So did you like the rest of "Catcher in the Rye"?

What about that red hunting hat, man?

I thought that would be right up your alley.

- Mm, it was fine.

- It was fine.

You talked my ear off about the Ducks last session.

The red hunting hat is way more important.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What's up with your hand?

- I-I fell on it wrong.

- Oh, okay.

Well, just in case, let me take a look.

It's fine.

That's a little too much "fine" for one session, Ollie.

Let me see.

Radiology's slammed,

but they'll fit him in right away.

Okay, thank you.

See that, buddy?

VIP treatment for you, all right?

What happened?

Uh, he said he fell.

No, Mama, last night, I separated them all and put them in your monthly pill organizer, remember?

Yes, of course you can still call me whenever you want.

But, no, but take the yellow pill now.

The yellow pill while I'm on the phone.



A tour bus jumped the curb in Times Square.

Superman may have a fractured wrist, but he won't stay put long enough for me to check.

Yeah, okay, what's his real name?

ID says Murph Coleman, but he only responds to Superman.

Kebir Abad, -year-old male falafel vendor.

Second-degree hot oil burns covering both arms.

Superman, get back in your chair.

Not till this man's in bay !

- Hammond!

- On it.

Skelly, Williams, team three, bed five.

Hey, you gotta hold this, okay?

- It's important.

- Stable vitals?

- Team one, bed nine.

- You okay?

You gotta keep your eyes open.

- Someone get me Cassian.

- All right.

- Let's do it.

- You gonna be okay?

- Gotta go.

- I-I can't...

Come on, let's not back up triage.


- Hammond!

- Sorry.

He really is faster than a...

Do not!

Just get him back in his chair.

Wilmer Belasco, male, years old.

Blunt force trauma to the chest.

Heart rate , BP over .

Possible cracked sternum.

- My boy...

- Don't try to talk.

- Mr. Belasco.

- Hector Belasco, -year-old boy.

BP over .

- That's my son!

- Lauren, I got him.


- Doc, no!

Sir, he's gonna be taken care of.

Hi, Hector, I'm Dr.


It's okay.

We're gonna take very good care of you.

Bilateral compound femur fracture, possible hypovolemic shock from crush injuries.

Okay, let's take a look.



Trauma one.

- Dad!



- Sir.

- In the chair, Superman.

- But I just...

Stay put.



Mina, um, so just give me a second to...

Mina, I know that it's hard, but I'm sure your dad would've wanted you to be with family.

You know nothing about my father.


- Can I talk to you a second?

- Can it wait?

- I just got...

- No.

I just made a commitment to ending the inherent and systemic racism here at this hospital,

- and I know what I need to do.

- [AHEM]


I'm stepping down as medical director.

Who is taking over?

You are.

You want me to be medical director?

- Yeah.

- And you, you'll just...

Quietly recede into a supporting role.

You've never done anything quietly.

Yeah, I know.

That's exactly the problem.

I tried to force an initiative on Black barber shops to get them to turn into community health ops.

I have called the WHO every single day for three months...

Three months...

Trying to get racism coded as a health risk, and now I realize that none of it was ever actually gonna change anything, because I am part of the problem.

- Says who?

- My chief equity officer.

We have a chief equity officer?

Yeah, Isabel.

She's very sweet.

But as women of color, you are both vastly under... hi.

Underrepresented in management, which makes you much less likely to get a promotion and therefore not in a position to then hire other women of color, so it's a vicious cycle really, but the thing is it can be changed if a woman of color is at the top, which is exactly why you need to say yes to this job.

- No.

- You could do a lot of good.

Here I thought I was doing good

- being an oncologist.

- More good.

Do you not see the irony in asking someone who's suffering from systemic racism to also fix it?

Well, does that mean you'll consider it?

Okay, no, Helen, I...

Ugh, I don't know where to start!

Just look to your right.


Hey, you are gonna be just fine.

I got him down in a wheelchair,

- but he got up again.

- Here we go!


Have Walsh clear Superman's wrist and escort him out of here, okay?

- Where am I going?

- Hey...

Hey, this has to get to the trauma room.

This is Mr. Abad.

Before his car flipped over,

- he saw the whole accident.

- Hammond, you're killing me.

- Do not let him into trauma one.

- Doing the best I can.

Right here.



Right before his car tipped over, he saw the whole accident.

Tell Dr.

Bloom what you just told me.

It was the craziest thing I've ever seen.

The minute the bus jumped the curb, everybody started running, except for Superman.


- He just stood there.

- Why?

No idea, but he took the hit like a champ.

I hope someone got video.

- Superman got hit by the bus?

- Hard.

I don't know he's still standing.

- Well, he is the Man of St...

- Don't say it.

Page neurology now.

I've got bones.

Did you hear that Ollie hurt his hand?


It's really bad.

I'm a doctor, and I can't even figure out what happened.

I'm not stupid.

I know you think I did it.

Did you?

I had to.

I had no choice.

Juliet, you were making such progress.

He insulted my brother, my parents.

I was defending their honor.

You were defending their honor?

When I took the vow of the samurai,

- I took the vow to the death.

- Is this a joke to you?

Sure, because I didn't do it.



Juliet, do you remember the rules of the game

- that we've been playing?

- Expert level.

I only win if the loser doesn't think they lost.

If I upset them or hurt them, I lose.


So when you smashed Ollie's hand, you lost.

Except I didn't smash Ollie's hand.

I was joking.

I don't think you're telling the truth.

- Right now or before?

- Now.

I think you're lying to protect yourself.

- Final answer?

- This is not a game, Juliet.

This is not the game!


I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have yelled.

It wasn't very professional.


Here's what I want.

I want you to tell me one true thing about Ollie's hand.

One true thing, that's it.

Luisa did it.



Luisa, hi.

Can I see you for a second please?

My wrist feels fine.

I'd love to get back downstairs in case anyone needs my help.

They don't.

I need you to hold still.

- What?

- I was just wondering why he annoys you so much.

Everyone annoys me this much.

Good to know.

The world's a disaster right now.

We all need to pitch in to try to fix it.

Got no patience for someone dressing up pretending to.

Well, there's no fractures or internal damage

- to his legs or trunk.

- It's crazy.

- It's like he's made of steel.

- He's not.


A brain bleed.




You were right.

I don't know the first thing about you, but, uh, I want to.

I really do.

So, please, can we just try again?



- Mina, you're .

- , so what?

So marriage is a big decision, and it should really only come from wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone.

Is that how you feel about your boyfriend?

No, but it's better than being forced to live somewhere I hate.

Okay, no, no, no, okay, then we'll find you some place else.


New York?



That bus really did a number on this kid's femur.

Yeah, and a splintered femur did a number on the femoral artery.


Shin, is this infected?

- Nurse, palpate that finger.

- Hard and cold.

Slow capillary refill.

That's not infected.

The whole finger's clotted off.

Hector's in DIC.

Book an OR.

The trauma's upset the fibrin activation balance in his blood.

He could have a heart attack any minute.

No disrespect, but how come all old-timey doctors were white dudes?

They weren't, but they were the only ones we hired.

Shall we?


♪ Mastered economics ♪

Good, good, racist.


- What's going on here?

- Surgical experimentation.



Racist, racist, racist, racist.

♪ Look at all these slave masters ♪

♪ Posing on your dollar ♪

Forced sterilization.

♪ Slave masters posing on your dollar ♪

♪ Deafening reckoning ♪

And homophobe.


♪ For you it's just money ♪

No, Mama, the shutoff valve stops the water.


No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

Just let me call a plumber so you won't hurt your...

- [THUD]

- Oh, dear!

- Oh, Floyd, sorry, buddy.

- Are you all right?

Just, uh, working on ending racism and forgot to put out the wet paint sign.

You're ending racism with paint?

Yeah, well, no.

That would be...


This is just a symbol of our commitment to ending racism.

Okay, uh, and it'll be backed with real policy change?

- Oh, yeah, absolutely.

- Starting with?

Starting with... starting with, uh...

well, you know, still analyzing the facts and...

How about the fact that Black doctors get paid % less than white doctors do?


- Not here.

- Yeah, here.

- Here?

- Mm-hmm.

- But...

even you?

- Even me.

What did they do with my cape?

I'm sure someone bagged it.

Don't worry.

It's safe.


So what's it like working in Times Square?

Oh, it's the best.


Ever since I was a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a hero.

- Always Superman?



I wanted to be a cop, maybe a soldier, a firefighter.

And why didn't you?

I tried, but I didn't meet any of the size requirements.

I've always been too small to make a real difference.

But when I put on that cape...


Hey, Murph.

Being a hero has got nothing to do with size.

So, Luisa, do you have anything at all that you want to tell me?

- About what?

- I don't know.

I was thinking about Ollie's hand.

- Did you hurt Ollie's hand?

- No.

Well, Juliet, she says that you did.

- She did?

- Yeah, she did.


I did.

No, don't tell me what you think I wanna hear, okay?

You just tell me the truth.

I am.


Luisa, Luisa, can I see your hand please?

It's okay.

It's okay.

I just need to take a peek, okay?


- Did Juliet do that to you?

- No.

She will never know that you talked to me.

I promise you that.

I just wanna make sure that she never, ever hurts you again.

- Do you understand?

- Juliet didn't hurt me.

I'm her friend.

Juliet said that?

She told you that you're her friend?

Yes, her only friend.

- Right this way.

- I have lunch in...

Yeah, I know.

I know.

We'll be done in a second.

Come on in.

Thank you, Dr.


Okay, so, guys, I'm just gonna dive right in.

So the reason that I've asked you all here...

To the fourth floor storage room?

That's right.

Is to exercise a little discretion and discuss something that is a little uncomfortable... money.

All of you in this room are the highest earning doctors at New Amsterdam, so I'm gonna ask all of you, including myself, to renounce % of your salaries.

- Excuse me?

- What?

- Uh, wait?

- Is this a joke?

Not a j... not a joke, actually.

We are going to take that money from our collective reductions and carefully redistribute it to the physicians of color who work in this hospital despite systemic pay discrimination.

Are you suggesting reparations?

Yeah, kind of.


Harold gets it.

But we didn't hand out subpar salaries.

- HCC did.

- No, true, very true.

But, well, we benefit from it.

Okay, so then why don't you just raise the salaries

- of the non-white physicians?

- Right, yes.

Another very good idea, Harold.

Really kind of on fire today, but I tried that.

I tried that, and HCC could not afford it.

Did you notice that the wage gap

- is even wider for women?

- Yeah.

% worse, in fact, so why are women here?

Right, well, of course, but we're not discussing gender

- at the moment...

- Oh, okay.

So when's that meeting?

That meeting is gonna be scheduled right...


I knew there was secret white doctor meetings.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go with you.

- Dr. Bloom.

Uh, guys, let me just say one more thing.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Guys, guys, guys, hold on.

Hold on.

Shut the door.

Wait, one second please.

If I could finish.

It's not a lot to ask, and it's really gonna help a lot of people, but thank you so much for listening.

Richardson retractor.


- Asystole.

- EPI and a ten gauge.


No response.

Heart's gone.


I'm not calling it.

- Dr. Reynolds.

- Give him a minute.

Come on, Hector.


Initiate cardiac bypass.

At least we can give him a few more hours.

Heart transplant?

He's just a child.

Yes, and pediatric heart transplant recipients have challenging size restrictions.

But being on bypass puts him at the very top of the donor list.

Don't lose hope for a match.

Dr. Reynolds, I love my boy more than anything in the world.

But how can I hope for another boy's heart?


Have you heard of this term intersectionality?

Of course.

Haven't you?

Yeah, of course, after I googled it.

Right, well, once you solve racism, you can put out a word of the day calendar.

I know you're joking, but that's not a bad idea.

Look, I want to apologize.

It was really unfair of me for trying to dump that whole thing on you.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, so I have a better proposition.

Huh, I can't believe it.

Yeah, you could be my...


Be my partner.

Co-medical directors.

And before you say anything, just think about how great we'd be together, you know?

I mean, you know the terminology, and I know the system, and I just think...

You know, I'm always better when you're around, and it's starting to be obvious to me that...


- Stop talking.

- Sorry.

- You're trying to pee, and..

- No.

Just actually, like, just stop talking.

Have you ever noticed that you always present your big plans while you're walking and talking?

I think that it gives you a sense of momentum that feels encouraging.

But it's actually an illusion, because this building is a box, Max, and you're walking in circles, and while that might sometimes be enough time for you to come up with a quick fix, you're not gonna fix this because, and I can't believe I actually have to say this, but...

systemic racism isn't about you.

But you want answers.

Well, then just hold still.

Just be quiet, and just...

Just really listen to the people that you say you wanna help.

It's not revolutionary, it's not outside of the box, and it is certainly not gonna be a quick fix.

And if you can't...

If you can't handle that, then you're not an ally at all.

You're just another semi-woke liberal with a white savior complex.

All right, we are here because I want you to see firsthand the damage that you've done and understand why you've lost the game.

But I didn't lose.

Two kids are hurt because of you, and I'm afraid that you can't stay here anymore.

I didn't lose.

I'm gonna have to call your parents.

I didn't lose the game!

I'm better at the game than you are!

You're the one who lost.

You hurt Luisa, and when Ollie found out, you hurt him too.

Is that what happened?


That's what happened, right?

- No.

- Don't look at her.

I don't care what she told you.

She is not your friend.

- Yes, I am.

- Juliet, not another word.

I'm sorry.

I have to.

It started when...

It was Luisa!

She just attacked me!

Because he kept grabbing me!

You did this.

He kept trying to hold my hand even when I told him to stop.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because Ollie said he wouldn't get in trouble for just trying to hold my hand,

- but I wanted him to stop.

- You're being a baby.

No, she is not, and you are in trouble.



Thank you.

Take him to his room.

Told you.




You changed your mind, didn't you?

It's, um... it's complicated.

My job is all-consuming, my apartment is not made for kids,

and this city is...

It's big.

But I do care about you, Mina,

and I promise I will check on you and make sure you have everything you need with money or with help with college applications.

No, that's what my father said about you.

I guess he was right.


I should have known that regular anesthesia would be no match for Sup...

- The surgery was successful.

- It was.

The burr hole relieved pressure, but the bleed had already done too much damage.

He's not going to wake up.


I'm going to look for next of kin.


You sure you got time for this?

I got all the time in the world.


I started treating patients here the same time as three other white residents, but you know how long it took the department chair to learn my name?

Go ahead, guess.

Then I'll tell you how long it took for him to stop calling me sister girl.

I'm not a female surgeon.

I'm not a Puerto Rican surgeon.

I'm a surgeon, and I'm one of the best.


Do you see children around me?

I mean, I'm wearing my badge.

- Hello?

- I'm not the translator.

Listen, you don't have to speak Spanish to me all the time.

I speak English.

It was misdiagnosed because the test didn't account for higher creatine levels in Black folk.

And no matter how many times I tell 'em, "Yo, it's sickle cell," white doctors always have me take a drug test.

Blamed it on insurance.

I'm like, "For real?" How does a white male gynecologist know my pain better than I do?

Four generations U.S.

My newborn does not need a TB shot.

I don't have a green card, but I do have an American passport.

The only border I ever cross is New Jersey.

I didn't go to school for years to learn how to smile more.

When Dr.

Reynolds made chair, do you think people asked if his dad was proud?

I see how they look at me the moment they hear my voice.

He said we can't all be enlightened as you about gender.

Max, it's not really about remembering my pronouns.

It's about actually believing me when I tell you who I am.

I don't know how many of us there are.

- AIDs.

- SIDs.

- Mixed race.

- Multiethnic.

- None of the above.

- Indigenous?

That can be from any part of the world.

I am a Native American.

People call me many things...


- Chola.

- Coon.


- Fragile.

- List goes on and on.

- Other.

- Other.


So I owe you a huge apology.

I'm waiting.

I'm sorry.

I am very sorry that I doubted you.

No, worse.


I decided that you were guilty before you ever even set foot in my office, and I am sorry.

Seems judgmental for a doctor.

I agree.

And I should have had more faith in your progress, in you, honestly.

Ollie is bad, but I would never lose the game

- just to hurt him...

- Yeah, I believe you.

So I told Luisa how to do it.

You did what?

I told Luisa how to get him alone where no one would see, and I told her to use the door because it was the best way for someone her size...

No, no, Juliet, no, you can't do that.

You can't teach kids to hurt other kids.

I taught her how to defend herself.

- That is not your job.

- But she's my friend.


Do you really consider Luisa to be your friend?




New rule to the game.

You can't help anyone hurt someone else.

If you do, you lose.

- Starting now?

- Yeah, starting now.

So I'm still winning, right?


You're still winning.

Heard about your listening tour.

I was on the subway this morning, and there was this toddler who's a cute little Black boy around Luna's age, and he was just exploring, you know, running around, and this random guy starts yelling at this kid's mom.

"Control your damn kid." And... that guy would deny it.

But when Luna runs around like that, nobody yells at her.

I mean, it's the opposite, you know?

People smile and do funny little voices, and...

Luna gets to grow up seeing the world as safe, friendly, and that kid...

gets screamed at...

and his mom gets to be on high alert every second of every day knowing there's always another guy who's ready to yell at her kid or make him feel small or one day...

Or one day kill him.

Do you know what I said to that racist on the train?


Because I didn't even realize it until I got off the train.

Look, I'm not gonna ask you to fix everything.

I just want you to know that I'm grateful...

That you're here.

It's been hard...

But it's been easier...

knowing that you are here.

I'm here to inform you that I'm stepping down as Deputy Medical Director.

I'm sorry that it's poor timing.

The job has meant so much to me.

But I have to focus on other things right now.

Okay, okay.


Thank you for listening.

But your patient's size is limiting.

I'll try again in minutes.

I'm sorry about Superman, Lauren.

Nothing about today feels like it makes sense.

Maybe it does.

[Nina Simone's "New World Coming"

He thought he was too small to really make a difference.

♪ There's a new world coming ♪

♪ And it's just around the bend ♪

♪ There's a new world coming ♪

♪ This one's coming to an end ♪

♪ There's a brand-new morning ♪

♪ Rising clear and sweet and free ♪

♪ There's a new day dawning ♪

♪ That belongs to you and me ♪

♪ There's a new world coming ♪

♪ This one's coming to an end ♪

♪ There's a new voice calling ♪

♪ And you can hear it if you try ♪

♪ There's a brand-new morning ♪

♪ Rising clear and sweet and free ♪

♪ There's a new day dawning ♪

♪ That belongs to you and me ♪


♪ Yes, a new world's coming ♪

♪ Yes, a new world's coming ♪

♪ That belongs to you and me ♪


Hey, Mama.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be home soon.

Yeah, yeah, you want me to cook that up?

I can cook that up.


Soon as I get there.

I just gotta go to the store.

I met with Max today to step down as Deputy Medical Director.

Oh, yeah?

Why is that?

'Cause Mina's coming to New York

- to live with me.

- Mm.

- So you changed your mind?

- I did.

Having Mina here with me, getting to know my family,

- that's what feels right.

- Mm.

Well, then I'm very excited.

Um, but if I'm gonna do this, then I have to put my whole self into it.

Everything I have has to go to her.

Of course.

I'll help in any way I can.

No, you won't.

'Cause everything I have...

Has to go to her.

This is what you want?

♪ There's a brand-new morning ♪

But it's not about me anymore.

♪ Rising clear and sweet and free ♪

♪ There's a new day dawning ♪

♪ That belongs to you and me ♪


♪ Yes, a new world's coming ♪

So what are you gonna do about this?

I have absolutely no idea.

No idea what to put up that won't offend someone or exclude someone else or seem too hollow or...

or too charged.


For the first time since I got here...

I have absolutely no idea what to do for the people in this hospital.



Uh, why is that good?

You're not supposed to do things for people.

That's not sustainable, Max.

But if you do things with people, you can start a movement.

What do you need?

Say the word, and it's yours.

A new office.

How is that gonna end systemic racism at New Amsterdam?

Because my new office is going to be right next to yours.