01x12 - Locked Up


[Several dolphins are swimming around. Music plays - Frances Faye's "Frances and her Friends".]

[title card: Off the coast of Florida, April 1999]

[The song continues on while the dolphins swim around. The dolphins are mating. Several of them swim together, some swim in groups. They swim past one another, touching and swimming in circles.]


[A few Beluga whales swim around, occasionally coming to the glass to mug for the camera.]


[The dolphins continue to swim around freely.]

[main titles]


[Shane sits at a table with Clea, Steve and Cherie's daughter. They're having a coffee.]

Shane: Look. When I say I've been with people, I don't mean 20 or 30.

Clea: Okay, so what? Like, hundreds, thousands? What?

Shane: (hesitating) Somewhere between... 950 and 1200 since I was 14.

Clea: Whoa. Well, whatever, you know, it doesn't matter. I don't care.

Shane: I turned tricks in Santa Monica with my friend, Clive. And all these guys thought I was some little street fag and I could've been killed.

Clea: That's so cool when you think about it, right?

Shane: Clea, it's not cool. Listen, I like you. But what you want from me isn't gonna happen.

[Clea looks down at the table.]

Clea: Okay, you know... I know, it's because of my father, right? You guys, you have this business together -

Shane: Clea, I'm involved with someone.

Clea: Oh.

[Shane sighs.]

Clea: Are you in love with her?

[Shane stares away for a moment, thinking.]

Shane: Yeah. (a beat) I am.

[Clea nods.]


[Kit walks past Shane and Clea, on her way to the stage area in the corner of the room. Marina is nearby, putting chairs at a table.]

Kit: (to Marina) Hey, girl.

[Kit goes to the stage to set the mic up. Marina flops down in a chair and sighs.]

Kit: Hey, you okay?

[Marina looks at her, shakes her head, and looks away. Kit goes and sits next to her.]

Kit: Hey, you hang in there. She'll be back before you know it.

Marina: I hope not.

Kit: Oh. Okay! Well, you finally said it. Can I say what it is now?

[Marina hangs her head.]

Kit: You deserve to be happy.

[Marina looks at her.]

Kit: Your happiness is just as important as anybody else's.

[Marina smiles and looks down, shaking her head.]

Kit: C'mon, The Planet is yours. If you and Francesca are splitting up, she's not gonna take it away from you.

Marina: (upset) Yes, she is. (a beat) At best, she wants to be bought out. (a beat) I sat up all night trying to figure out how I can come up with that much money. That's a lot of money. I worked so hard.


[Tim and Jenny are having a meal together.]

Jenny: Where's Trish?

Tim: I decided to cool it for a while.

Jenny: Oh, yeah?

Tim: (swigs beer) Mm-hmm.

Jenny: Why?

Tim: I was accepted at the G.S.I.E. I'm finally, uh, getting my teaching degree.

Jenny: Wow, that's... that's amazing.

Tim: Yeah, so, when I switch departments, Trish and I can see one another again if... if we still want to.

Jenny: Did she cry? When you told her you had to break up with her?

Tim: Yeah. She did.

Jenny: Yeah.

[Tim picks up a piece of bread.]

Tim: How's your writing?

Jenny: It's good. I'm actually, um... working on a story right now. About a woman that's been mute from birth, and then she discovers that... she's able to speak the language of manatees.

[Tim sips his beer and tries not to laugh.]


[The "Kings of the Night" drag king show is in full swing. The cafe is packed with women of all varieties, many of them butches and in drag. The audience cheers on the performers as they dance and lip sync their way around the stage.]

[A drag king is on the stage in a cowboy outfit and a fake mustache, strutting around and dancing as she sings along to the song.]

Cowboy: (lip-syncing to music) "I am a man, baby, that's what I am -- I am a stranger with a master plan -- I am a man, baby, that's why I'm here -- I am a man, I am a man, I am a man, c'mon."

[The crowd claps and cheers. Kit cheers and dances along to the music. Shane, Alice and Marina sit at a table in the audience, smiling and clapping along with everyone else.]

Cowboy: (lip-syncing to music) "I am a man, I am a man, I am a man -- I am a man, I am a man, I am a man -- Oh, yeah!"

[The cowboy rips open her shirt, exposing a tight t-shirt underneath, and writhes around on the stage. The crowd goes wild. As the song finishes, she dances off the stage. Kit comes to the stage and takes the mic.]

Kit: Allright! (mic) Allright, give it up! Let's have some love, for that was Phil McCockin!

[The audience claps and cheers.]

Kit: (mic) Allright, now. For our final king of the night, let's give a good, hot welcome to Ivan Aycock!

[Kit leaves the stage as Ivan Aycock comes on. Ivan's dressed as Willy DeVille, lead singer of Mink DeVille, in a black velvet suit, boots, a huge black pompadour and pencil-thin mustache. The music starts - "Savoir Faire" by Mink DeVille - and Ivan puts on a show by smoking a cigarette, then stomping it out when the music pauses.]

Woman #1: Allright, shake it baby!

Woman #2: Whoo!

[The music starts. Ivan grabs the mic and struts around the stage with attitude and flair, dancing and lip syncing. The audience goes wild. Shane and Alice clap along, laughing, enjoying the show.]

Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "I was standing on the corner of the avenue -- I was watching all the girls go by."

[Kit claps and dances along. Ivan sings the next part to her.]

Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "And there she was in a five and ten cent store -- Somehow I got to make her mine -- Somehow I got to make her mine."

[Kit smiles and claps along to the music. Robin, the girl that Jenny met last episode at the Dinah Shore Weekend, is also in the audience, enjoying the show. Alice notices her.]

Alice: (to Shane) Hey, isn't that Robin, that girl Jenny's going out with, right there?

[Marina looks over and sees Robin.]

Shane: Oh, yeah it is.

Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "And there she was ,she was checking my count -- Somehow I got to make her mine -- Somehow I got to make her mine"

[Ivan wiggles her hips at the women at the tables by the stage. Kit stands a few feet away, laughing and clapping. Ivan once again sings to Kit.]

Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "She got style, she got taste -- She got a beautiful face! -- She got... savoir faire!"

[Kit laughs and puts a hand to her chest to fan herself.]

Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "She don't need no hook -- She's got more than good looks -- She got... savoir faire!"

[Ivan puts the mic down and holds her hand out to Kit. Kit takes it and they dance on stage together. Shane howls and claps. Alice giggles. Marina smiles, but her attention is on Robin who is unaware that she's being watched.]


[Tim and Jenny are still eating.]

Jenny: I have a date on Wednesday night.

Tim: Anyone I know?

Jenny: Um... no. Her name is Robin. And, uh, I met her at Palm Springs when I, you know, when I went with Tina and all of them.

Tim: And you're telling met his... because?

Jenny: Well, because, uh, you - you know that I can't afford restaurants right now -

Tim: Let me get this straight. You're asking to borrow money from me, for a date. Because, I've gotta tell you -

Jenny: No, I wasn't, I was asking you if it's okay if I... had her to my place.

[Tim looks a little uncomfortable at the thought. Jenny stares at her plate.]

Jenny: I was gonna make a salad, I suppose.

Tim: Wednesday's basketball and beer night. So, I'm not gonna be home 'til late. (a beat) If you want, you can use the kitchen. Make your salad.

[Jenny smiles.]


[The drag king show has ended. The cafe is still packed. People are just milling around, having drinks, enjoying themselves. Marina stops by to greet some of her patrons, including the cowboy drag king.]

Marina: Hey.

Cowboy: Hey!

[Marina heads over to Robin's table.]

Marina: (to other patrons) Hello, how's everything? (to Robin) I've heard about you.

[Back at their table, Alice's jaw drops. She elbows Shane.]

Alice: Shane.

Shane: What?

Alice: Check it out.

[Shane looks over in time to see Marina sitting down, talking to Robin.]

Marina: (overheard) How about...

Shane: sh1t, that sucks.

Alice: Well, do you think... do you think she thought when I said... like when I pointed her out, but I didn't... that I... no.

[Marina and Robin are laughing and having a good time. They shake hands.]

Robin: (overheard) I'm Robin. Nice to meet you.

[Alice looks at Shane, not believing what she's seeing.]

Alice: This is so... wrong.

Shane: (swigs beer) Yup.


[Kit approaches Ivan, who's sitting on a couch, chatting with some people.]

Kit: Hey, Ivan!

Ivan: Oh, hey, um...

[Ivan puts down her beer and politely stands.]

Kit: This is one of the best nights of music I have ever had! I mean - and thank you for organizing the "Kings of the Night"! It was the bomb!

[Ivan smiles modestly and takes Kit's hand.]

Ivan: The pleasure is all mine.

[Ivan sweetly kisses Kit's hand. Kit smiles. Ivan looks down at a fellow drag king sitting on the couch.]

Ivan: Why don't you make room for the lady?

Drag King: Mm-hmm!

[The drag king gets up and walks off.]

Ivan: (to Kit) What can I get you, Kit?

[Kit and Ivan sit down on the couch.]

Kit: Um... oh, nothing, I'm fine.

Ivan: Yeah, but what's your drink? I mean, a Pink Lady, Cajun Martini, maybe a simple whiskey soda?

Kit: (smiling) I'm keeping dry these days.

Ivan: Well, that's a fine thing for a beautiful lady.

[Kit smiles a little, unsure of Ivan's directness. Ivan switches gears.]

Ivan: You in the program?

Kit: Yeah. I am.

Ivan: Eleven years next month.

Kit: Congratulations. I'm, uh... (thinking) 37 days.

Ivan: Thirty-seven days... is a lifetime.

[Ivan smiles at Kit. Kit looks a little unsure again. Ivan speaks sincerely.]

Ivan: Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to... or for any other reason... give me a call. Okay?

Kit: Thanks.


[The suburbs, pretty houses with pretty green lawns.]


[Bette wanders down the hall in her bathrobe. She walks into the kitchen, where Tina's getting ready to leave. Tina's drinking coffee and getting some things together for her briefcase.]

Bette: Whoa. You're not leaving already, are you?

Tina: Oscar and I are due in court at 8:15. Arthur Croft agreed to represent us pro bono against Clay Patterson.

Bette: How - did you - did you land Arthur Croft?

[Tina puts some papers into her briefcase, on the kitchen table.]

Tina: Uh-huh. Remember? I met him when Warner's got sued over that script I developed?

Bette: Wow, Tina. Oscar must... be beside himself.

Tina: Yeah, and then, after we finish in court, I have a meeting with these junior high students from South Central.

[Tina closes her briefcase and smiles at Bette.]

Tina: We're starting an organic food co-op at their school.

[Bette smiles, though a little taken aback by the sudden role-reversal. She's always the one running out the door to work, instead of Tina.]

Tina: Isn't that cool?

Bette: (chuckling) Yeah, that's...

[Tina walks over and smooches Bette.]

Bette: ... that's great.

[Tina grabs her purse and briefcase and is about to leave through the back door.]

Bette: Um, oh, wait - did the, uh... my Jill Sanders suit... do you know - do you have any idea?

Tina: Um... I think it's at the dry cleaners. Um... I dropped it off last week.

Bette: Oh, great, then you could pick it up today, then?

Tina: Uh-uh. I, uh... can you get James to do it? I'm having a really busy week.

[Bette smiles.]

Tina: Okay? Bye.

[Tina leaves. Bette's smile fades.]


[Mr. Piddles sits on the foot of the bed, staring at Tonya, who's under the covers staring right back at him. Dana's getting ready nearby.]

Dana: Okay, so, he gets his, uh, Prednisone at 11 and 2 o'clock, and if for some reason I'm not home by 5 o'clock, just go ahead and give him his liquid thyroid medicine. It comes in three flavors: chicken, tuna and sardine. So, you know, just... see what he's in the mood for.

[Tonya doesn't look too happy. Dana leans over to kiss her goodbye.]

Dana: Okay. Bye, baby.

Tonya: Bye.

[They kiss.]

Dana: Thank you.

[Tonya pulls her back for another. They kiss again. Dana goes over to kiss Mr. Piddles.]

Dana: (silly voice) Bye, sweety Piddly-pie! (scratches Piddles ears) Ton-Ton's gonna take extra special care of you! (scratches Piddles chin) My handsome, loverboy puss-pot! (kisses Piddles) Oh yes, oh yes. (kisses Piddles) Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Mmmmwah!

[Dana kisses Mr. Piddles on the head a few times. Mr. Piddles begins to purr. Tonya watches them with an obvious distaste. Dana kisses Piddles on the head again.]

Dana: Mwah! Aww, yes. (kisses Piddles) Okay.

[Dana stands up and grabs her duffle bag and puts it on her shoulder.]

Tonya: Bye.

Dana: Bye.

[Dana leaves. As soon as the front door is heard closing, Tonya kicks Mr. Piddles off the bed.]

Mr. Piddles: Rrowrr! Meow! Mrowr?

[Tonya picks up the phone and dials a number.]

Tonya: (phone) Deb. It's Tonya. You will never believe where I am right now.

Mr. Piddles: Mrowr?


[Bette is on the phone, pacing her office.]

Bette: We're ready to install the main galleries, but I want you to keep the Anish Kapur crated until our technician arrives. (listening) Yeah.

[James enters.]

James: Bette.

Bette: (phone) Hold on.

James: I think you should come down and see what's going on out here.

Bette: (sighs) (phone) I'll call you back.

[Bette hangs up the phone and puts it down, then walks out of her office.]

Bette: What?

James: We have protestors setting up outside.


[James and Bette walk into the main hall of the museum, which is all glass, and through the windows they see dozens of protestors gathered just outside. The protestors carry signs that say such things as, "Offensive art is just offensive," "Stand for decency NOT depravity," and "The CAC a receptacle for trash." Many more protestors are just arriving and getting set up.]

[Bette stands at a window and furrows her brow at the activity for a few seconds, then turns around and heads back to her office.]


[A cop car pulls up and parks on the curb. Across the street, a TV van pulls up and parks. Candace, carrying a coffee and the C.A.C. blueprints, walks up and stops when she sees all the commotion. She sighs and heads up the steps to the building so she can go to work. A few feet from the entry, the ringleader - a guy who's been using a bullhorn to talk to the crowd - steps in her way.]

Bullhorn Man: Ma'am, you don't want to go in there.

Candace: Yes, I do.

Bullhorn Man: Are you aware that this so-called museum is run by homosexual pornographers?

[Candace rolls her eyes and tries to step past him. He blocks her.]

Bullhorn Man: Are you a homosexual pornographer?

Candace: Get outta my face, slimeball.

[Candace walks past him.]

Bullhorn Man: The C.A.C. should be shut down! And the people inside locked away!

Protestors: Yeah! That's right!


[Bette enters her office. Candace is spreading the blueprints over Bette's desk.]

Bette: Have you seen it out there?

Candace: Yeah. One of them tried to block me from coming in the museum.

[Bette gazes at Candace for a few seconds almost sadly.]

Candace: Are you okay?

Bette: Yeah - I'm fine. I have movers due with a shipment of artwork in 40 minutes, I have 5 artists arriving to do installation work, and I have a bunch of lunatics out in the courtyard who apparently want to see me tarred and feathered. (a beat) But the main gallery looks great.

Candace: Well, we're nearly finished. Here, let me show you some drawings of the shoji screens.

[Candace leans over the blueprints and picks up a pencil. Bette comes to her side to see, and places a hand on the desk. Candace puts her hand on the desk too and they unintentionally touch. It doesn't seem to bother Candace, but it does Bette.]

Candace: Okay. So.

[Bette looks at their hands, then at Candace.]

Bette: f*ck.

[Candace moves her hand.]

Candace: I'm sorry, I -

Bette: What happened the other night cannot happen again, do you understand?

[Candace looks a little hurt, but tries to cover up with getting back to the blueprints.]

Candace: Um... okay, (pointing with pencil) this is not a bearing wall. So I figured we'd just erect the scaffolding here and...

[Candace looks at Bette. Bette leans very close. Candace begins to lean in as well. They're about to kiss when James walks in.]

James: Bette.

[Bette and Candace stand up.]

James: They have almost a hundred people out there. They're threatening to not let the artwork in the museum.

Bette: Jesus! (tossing up hand) What are we supposed to do?

James: We should call the police.

Candace: The police are here, but they're not gonna help you. These protestors have a permit.

Bette: (to James) What about the alley? Can we take the trucks out back and load in from there?

James: No, no, no, they're blocking that, too.

Bette: This is crazy! I don't - I don't have time to reschedule and I'm not gonna back down from these lunatics.

Candace: (to Bette) Have you ever done clinic defense?

[Bette turns to Candace.]

Candace: Abortion clinics?

Bette: I - no, I haven't. I've just written checks.

Candace: Well, when we used to do clinic defense, there'd be, I don't know, 40, 50, 60 of them to every 20 of us, and so we figured the only way to get a client past them... well, we would link arms.

[Candace bends her arms at the elbows to demonstrate.]

Candace: And form a column to the street and the client would get out of her car, she'd be immediately inside of our column and we'd get her safely inside.

Bette: Like a human shield.

Candace: Yeah.

Bette: And how many people does it take to do something like that?

Candace: As many as possible.

Bette: (turns back to James) Allright, James, I want you to ask everyone in the office. I think we have about 25 people. Okay? And let's get on the phone. I want you to call all the artists that are in town, I want you to call your friends, we need bodies.

James: Okay.

[James leaves.]


[Robin and Marina are having lunch. A waitress stands by their table, showing them a bottle of wine.]

Marina: (to Robin) Wine?

Robin: (smiling) I have to get back to work. I have a class of 10-year-olds aspiring to be tightrope walkers.

Marina: (waves hand) Ah, don't worry, we'll have it tonight. (to waitress) Grazie. (Thank you.)

[The waitress leaves.]

Robin: Oh, actually... (chuckles) I can't do that, either. I, um... I already have plans.

Marina: What kind of plans?

[Robin looks at Marina as if that may be none of her business.]

Marina: Oh, is that a secret? Oh... (shakes head)

Robin: (smiling) No, it's not a secret...

Marina: No, you should never tell a secret. Never. So tell me something else. Do you like to read?

Robin: Mm, I guess, when I... when I have time. I'm not exactly a... big reader.

Marina: Have you ever read anything by, um, Anne Carson?

Robin: Um... I don't think so. Does... does she write novels, or...

Marina: Okay, I'm gonna give you a book. And you can take it with you when you run away with the circus.

[Robin smiles.]

Marina: (smiling) It's called, um, "Eros the Bittersweet." It's very romantic.


[The crowd of protestors is getting larger and they continue to yell and parade around with signs. A truck parked on the curb nearby reads "Addams Fine Art Movers" on the back. A couple of movers have a tall crate on a dolly and are about to try to move it through the rabble.]

[Bette comes out of the C.A.C., followed by Candace and James, the artist Isabella Pernao and several others. They walk quickly through the protestors and toward the movers. A reporter and a cameraman follow Bette.]

Reporter #1: Miss Porter. With all the controversy, is the C.A.C. still going ahead with the "Provocations" show?

Bette: Without the slightest hesitation.

Reporter #1: I noticed Fae Buckley isn't here, do you know where she is?

Bette: No idea.

Reporter #1: Did you ruin her by exposing her family tragedy? Did you go too far?

Bette: I have to go, excuse me!

[Bette's group has arrived at the movers and the crate. Bette links arms with Candace and James and calls out instructions to the others.]

Bette: Link arms. Move around to the left and link arms.

[The crate is now safe inside the circle. Everyone begins to inch through the unruly crowd, back toward the main door of the C.A.C.]

Bette: (to protestors) You are obstructing commerce! If you do not let these movers through, you'll be violating the law!

[The protestors begin to chant. The man that called Candace a homosexual pornographer earlier yells into his bullhorn with the others.]

Protestors: (chanting) Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go! Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go!

[Cops stand on the sidewalk, watching the demonstration closely. Shane and Alice arrive and promptly run into the middle of the fray and link arms with Bette and James.]

Alice: My god, you guys, it's a full-scale war!

Bette: Thank you so much for coming!

Shane: Bette! Dana's coming, too. Where's Tina?

[The group continues to move toward the door.]

Bette: I don't know, when I left word for her. She and Oscar were supposed to be in court earlier this morning, I can't get through.

[A helicopter hovers overhead, possibly a news channel camera or the police.]

Protestors: (chanting) ... Filth as art has got to go! Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go!


[Marina and Robin are done with lunch. Marina is seeing Robin to the door. Ivan - out of drag - sits at a table nearby. Marina smiles at her as they pass.]

Marina: Hey!

[Ivan smiles and waves.]

Marina: (to Robin) So, come by after work. I'll have the book for you.

Robin: Oh. You know what, I'll just come by tomorrow.

Marina: No, I won't keep you long. Just come by later.

Robin: (laughing) Okay, fine. You're... very persistent.

Marina: Ah. (leans close)

Persistance est la mère de tout le succès. (Persistence is the mother of all success.) I'll see you later.

[Robin leaves, a little unsure of what to make of Marina. Kit shows up.]

Marina: Hey.

Kit: Hey, Marina.

[Ivan spots Kit and waves for her. Kit sees Ivan, but doesn't recognize her at all out of drag. She kind of waves back.]

Kit: Um, Marina. Remember when we talked about kind of a plan? Well, we are gonna find you some partners, and we're gonna raise some money, and you are gonna buy Francesca out.

Marina: (laughing) Well, what about you? You could be my partner.

Kit: (sighs) Oh, I... I'm not... when maybe some of my royalties come in. You know I haven't seen one cent from that Slim Daddy song.

Marina: What about Bette? She could lend you the money.

Kit: (shaking head) Aw, uh-uh, mmm.

Marina: C'mon, you're good for it.

Kit: (sighs) I don't know. I'm on my way over there now, as soon as Ivan gets here.

Marina: Ivan. (pointing) Ivan is right over there.

[Ivan is standing by her table, smiling and waving at Kit. Kit looks a little shocked, but pretends to know.]

Kit: Oh! Yeah... uh... right, um... hey!

[Ivan approaches Kit.]

Kit: Hey, Ivan, how you doin'?

Ivan: (smiling) Ah, always good.

Kit: Okay.

[Marina looks at Ivan and smiles at Kit.]

Ivan: Ah, should we - better get going, I guess.

Kit: Uh, yeah, let's go. (to Marina) Uh, hey, girl, I'll catch you later, okay?

Marina: Yeah, have a great time. Don't - don't forget to ask Bette.

[Kit and Ivan leave together.]


[The crowd of protestors is tightening up around the small ground defending the art. Dana is now in the group, having arrived and linked arms with Alice and Bette. They all struggle to inch forward.]

Dana: Where's Tina?

Bullhorn Man: Which godless piece of filth is that?

Bette: (to protestor) Get off!

Protestor #1: Which relic of Satan?

Protestor #2: Which affront to decency?

[Bette's group is wavering under the strain of the protestors. The protestors have stopped the group's advancement toward the door and are now pushing against them, trying to get them to break the chain.]

Bette: (to protestor) Back off, you're getting too close.

[Candace unlinks her arms with Bette and turns around to the protestors behind her. They're all men twice as big as she is, but that doesn't matter to Candace.]

Candace: You heard her! She said... back off!

[Candace shoves the protestor behind her as hard as she can. The other protestors keep him from falling, but he grabs Bette and pulls her back in an effort to get at Candace. Another one of the protestors shoves Candace aside and runs for the crate. Bette tries to reach for him.]

Bette: Don't let him touch it!

[In a split second, a swarm of protestors descend upon the crate, grabbing and nearly crushing Bette in the process. Candace dives into the fray and tries to pull them off of Bette.]

Bette: Get off of me!

[Police sirens wail in the background. The protest is turning into an all-out brawl, and our gang is stuck right in the middle of it. The cops that were monitoring the protest from afar are now coming over to quell the violence.]

[Isabella Pernao grabs a female protestor and throws her off the crate. A male protestor sees her.]

Bullhorn Man: That's the one. Get her!

[A group charges toward Isabella, but the cops arrive just in time. A cop grabs one of the protestors by the shirt collars and backs him up.]

Protestor #3: (to cop) She made a video of herself being sodomized by Jesus Christ!

[The cop squints at Isabella.]

Protestor #3: She was on her knees. Naked. With Christ committing unspeakable acts on her.

[The police paddy wagon pulls up and parks on the curb. Some of the protestors are starting to leave to avoid arrest. Ivan and Kit pull up in Ivan's car.]

[The cop puts Isabella on the ground and handcuffs her. He hauls her over to the paddy wagon while Protestor #3 looks on.]

[Ivan opens Kit's door and helps her out. Kit stares in shock at the protest and the officers out arresting people.]

Kit: Holy sh1t!

[Kit starts to dash for the crowd, but Ivan grabs her arm and holds her back.]

Ivan: Wait! No!

Kit: I gotta help her!

Ivan: Hey! You have a DUI! If you go and get yourself arrested, it'll be years before you get a license again, allright?

[More cop cars are pulling up. Ivan holds Kit back from joining into the fray. People are being arrested left and right. Ivan and Kit spot Bette in the crowd.]

Ivan: That's your sister right there, isn't it?

[A cop marches Candace, in handcuffs, away from the protest. Another cop has Bette in handcuffs and quickly marches her away as well. The reporter and cameraman from earlier try to interview her as she's being hauled off.]

Reporter #1: Bette Porter. Do you think you're going to make a First Amendment defense?

Ivan: (to Kit) Huh?

Kit: Yeah.

[A swarm of reporters are descending upon Bette now, all trying to get footage of Bette in handcuffs, or interview her. Bette keeps her head down.]

Ivan: C'mon. She needs you on the outside. You can't do anything for her.

[The cops are now walking Bette toward the paddy wagon.]

Reporter #2: Bette! Bette, is this your first arrest? How will you plead?

Ivan: C'mon. It's okay. Let's go.

[Ivan walks Kit back to the car. Kit watches helplessly as her baby sister is being taken away.]

Kit: But...

[Ivan opens the car door for Kit to get in.]


[Several protestors sit on one side of the paddy wagon. Isabella, Shane, Alice and Candace sit on the other. Everybody looks really unhappy. A cop puts Dana in the wagon, next to Candace.]

Dana: Ow! Oh, god, I'm gonna die if my parents find out about this!

Alice: Well, look at the upside: now, being a dyke won't be a big deal.

[A cop puts Bette in the wagon.]

Bette: This is absurd! You'll be hearing from my law -

[Bette lands in Candace's lap. Alice scoots over and Bette slides down onto the seat next to Candace. Bette and Candace get extremely close to a kiss. They take a deep breath and pull themselves away. Bette sighs.]

[Alice eyes one of the protestors, a blonde woman, sitting across from her. She whistles and wiggles her eyebrows at her.]

Alice: Hey good-lookin'.

[The woman looks a little frightened as she glances up at Alice. Alice eyes her and clamps her teeth together, suggestively biting at the air. The woman quickly looks away, uncomfortable. The bullhorn man, who's sitting next to her, looks worriedly between her and Alice. The cops shut the paddy wagon doors and head for the police station.]


[A cop opens the paddy wagon doors so the group can get out. The blonde woman, the bullhorn man, and Dana look pretty scared.]


[A cop stands at a desk protected by a metal grille as the new inmates line up to give over their personal items. Another cop stands by them and gives them orders.]

Cop #1: Remove your shoes...

[The blonde woman hands over her purse.]

Cop #1: ... and any hard objects including combs, hairpins, all watches...

[Shane steps up to the desk and takes off her ring and watch. She goes to take her cell phone out of her jacket pocket.]

Cop #1: ... and... cell phones.

[Shane holds on to her cell phone and backs away from the cop.]

Alice: Oh, boy. No, that's like taking our life support away, you can't do that.

[The cop holds out her hand.]

Dana: No, just, let it go, Shane. It's okay.

[Shane looks at Dana, then finally gives the cell phone to the cop.]

Shane: Take the f*ckin' phone. (to cop behind grille) Don't lose that.

[Alice steps up and eyeballs the cop as she sets down her car keys and her watch.]

Cop #1: I'll also need all your jewelry...

[Dana steps up and gingerly sets down her watch, still looking a bit scared. Bette steps up, taking off her earrings.]

Cop #1: And your eyeglasses.

[Bette looks at the cop.]


[Lots of greenery around. A family walks inside.]


[Jenny's sitting in the observation area, writing and watching the Beluga whales swimming around in the tank. The whales, who are curious, swim close to her and make their characteristic clicking noises and high-pitched whale song.]

[As Jenny speaks, we see the whales swimming around, making noises. Jenny's words fade on to and off of the screen. Her voice echoes and overlaps itself in a sort of dreamy way.]

Jenny: (voice over) The whale swam close to her, making odd click like sounds. Until this moment, her imagination had been enough. She understood it had to be the core of desire.


[The gang, now booked, are lined up at a bank of pay phones against a wall, each making their one phone call. The camera goes down the row so that we hear what each one is saying.]

Candace: (phone) Yolanda! Hey, it's Candace. Listen, I'm in a little bit of trouble here.

Bette: (phone) f*ck, Tina, I know you're real busy saving the world and everything, but I need you to start answering your phone.

Shane: (phone) Hey, Cherie, it's me. Look, I'm gonna be a little late for our date tonight.

Dana: (phone) Is he getting his medicine, is he listless? Has he had a poo?

[Alice is listening to her answering machine messages.]

Lenore: (answering machine) Alice, it's mom. Can you drop my head shots by my agent?

[Alice abruptly hangs the phone up.]

Bette: (voice over) Why are we being held separately?


[Cop #1 escorts Bette and Candace down a hall, to an empty cell. Bette and Candace are now wearing plain white jail uniforms that say "INMATE" on the back. The cop is also wearing Bette's sunglasses.]

Cop #1: Because you're high risk. (opens cell) Dangerous ring leaders.

[Bette follows Candace into the cell. The officer closes the door and locks it before heading back down the hall. A buzzer sounds, signifying that the cop has been let through another locked door.]


[The cell is tiny, big enough for a small bed and a sink and a window. They're cramped, to say the least, but they're completely alone with no cops or prisoners nearby. Candace sits down on one end of the bed and looks up at Bette. They stare at each other for several seconds.]

Candace: Aren't you gonna sit down?

[Bette seems quietly anxious.]

Bette: (shaking head) (quietly) I can't.

Candace: Why?

Bette: (quietly) I can't sit near you.

[Candace looks at her, and nods.]

Candace: What if... you stay on one side of the cot? I'll stay on the other. We'll draw an imaginary line down the middle.

Bette: (quietly) I don't think that's gonna work for me.

[Candace nods. They look at each other for a moment. Bette slowly walks over to Candace and stands in front of her. She looks down at her, desire written plainly on her face.]

Bette: (quietly) I am in so much trouble.

[Candace looks up at her. The moment is tense. Candace quickly scoots back to the wall. Bette looks discouraged for a moment.]

Candace: Do you wanna play an alphabet game?

[Bette smiles.]


[Jenny continues to sit alone, watching the Beluga whales. Unspoken words fade onto the screen:]

Until this moment her
imagination had been enough
She understood it had to be
the core of desire

[The words fade out and are replaced by more:]

and had no need to dilute it
with the feeble chattering of
inarticulate lovers

Jenny: (to nobody) I still want it to be a manatee.

[A young man, Gene Feinberg, sits down on the bench next to her and starts eating some grapes.]

Gene: (to whale) Keela. Hey.

[The whale swims up to him and presses against the glass. Gene looks over at Jenny.]

Gene: Have you ever met a manatee?

Jenny: No...

[Gene puts his hand to the glass. The whale swims up and opens its mouth curiously.]

Gene: They have the craziest mating behavior of any sea mammal.

[The whale goes to Jenny and presses against the glass. Jenny smiles.]

Gene: She likes you.

Jenny: Have you ever met a manatee?

Gene: Yeah, there was a small herd of them beached off the coast of Boca Raton last month, and I was one of the biologists called in to protect them.

[The whale continues to swim about, pressing against the glass. Jenny and Gene watch. Gene extends his hand to Jenny.]

Gene: I'm Gene Feinberg.

Jenny: (shaking hand) Jenny Schecter.

Gene: Hey.

Jenny: What happened to them, why were they beached?

Gene: Well, the, um... the one female was running away from the 5 males. She stays in heat for a month and the - the bulls spend the entire time smashing into each other, trying to have s*x with her then they just kinda ditch her once she's pregnant.

Jenny: Gosh, that sounds like a lot of humans.

Gene: Please tell me that's not your experience with men.

Jenny: No. Not exclusively.

Gene: Well, that's good.

Jenny: Do you work here?

Gene: Mm-hmm. I'm Assistant Curator of Fish and Aquarium Dive Coordinator. And... you... it appears, work at a grocery store?

Jenny: Oh, god. Can you tell that by looking at me?

Gene: Uh, well, I'm familiar with the red and white checked, uh... blouse thing.

[Jenny looks down at herself, embarrassed. She's just remembered she's in her work uniform.]

Jenny: Oh, my god.

Gene: Laurelwood Farms, right?

Jenny: Yes. I didn't... know that fish had curators.

Gene: I didn't know that nice Jewish girls work in grocery stores. Is that your life's calling, your...

Jenny: No. It's not my life's calling. I'm... I'm a fiction writer.

Gene: (nodding) Cool.

Jenny: How do you know that I'm a nice Jewish girl?

Gene: Are you implying that you're not nice?

[The whale swims up to Gene and hovers in front of him, making clicking sounds.]

Gene: (to whale) (shaking finger) Too many grapes, Keela.

[Gene stands up. He seems a tad nervous.]

Gene: Um. (turns to Jenny) If you wanted to have dinner with me, I could tell you everything I know about manatees.

[Jenny tears off a piece of paper from her notebook. She writes her phone number on it and folds it into a tiny ball and gives it to Gene.]

Gene: Thanks.

Jenny: (whispering) Okay.

Gene: Um. Bye.

Jenny: Bye.


[Marina is giving Robin a copy of Anne Carson's book, "Eros the Bittersweet."]

Robin: Thank you.

Marina: You're welcome.

Robin: (reading) "Eros the Bittersweet." Oh, okay, I'll read it.

Marina: Wait, there is a passage that is so beautiful.

[Marina takes the book and starts to flip through the pages.]

Robin: You know what, Marina, I - I really... I gotta go. I'm sorry.

Marina: (handing book back) Of course.

Robin: Thanks.

[Marina walks around to Robin's other side, close to her.]

Marina: The Greek word, eros, denotes want, lack. The desire for that which is missing. (stepping closer) The lover wants what it does not have.

[Robin looks away, a bit uncomfortable by Marina's closeness.]

Marina: It is by definition impossible for him to have what he wants. If... as soon as it is had...

[Robin looks at Marina.]

Marina: ... it is no longer wanted.


[Closeup on a typewriter, typing out "FAIRBANKS, DANA" a form. The cop typing is typing extremely slowly, hitting one key every few seconds. The clock on the wall reads 6:47. Ivan and Kit are in the reception area. Ivan is sitting; Kit is pacing anxiously. Kit goes up to the officer who's typing.]

Kit: (sighs) Excuse me? How much longer is this gonna be?

[The typing cop just looks at her, then goes back to typing. Kit turns to Ivan, exasperated and tosses up her hands. Kit turns back to the typing officer.]

Kit: You know - you know, this is really ridiculous. Now, I have been here, I don't know how long trying to just - do you have any information -

[Ivan gets up and pulls Kit aside.]

Ivan: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Sit tight. Okay? I'm gonna go hustle up a couple of bail bonds, just in case nobody shows up with cash.

[Kit sighs, mostly from frustration. Ivan touches her chin to get her attention.]

Ivan: (smiling) And. I'll bring you some Reese's Cups.

[Kit looks bewildered. Ivan heads for the door.]

Kit: How you know that's what I was jonesing for?

[Ivan turns back and smiles before heading out. Ivan passes Franklin, Bette's boss, who's on the way in. The two look up and down each other. Franklin heads in to speak with the typing officer.]

Franklin: Officer? I'm Franklin Phillips, Chairman of the Board of the California Arts Center, here to post bail for Bette Porter.

[Kit looks at Franklin. Upon hearing his name, she recognizes him.]

Kit: Thank god! Where you been, man?

[Kit shakes her head and tosses up her hands. Franklin turns around, confused. He doesn't know who Kit is.]

Franklin: I - I've been at a cocktail party for the governor. Who are you?

Kit: Kit Porter, Bette's sister.

Franklin: Ah. Well, nice to meet you.

[Franklin looks Kit up and down before turning back to the officer. Kit tosses up her hands again.]

Franklin: Can we, uh, hurry this up, please?

Typing Cop: We've got a lot of paperwork to process. You might wanna have a seat.

[Franklin walks a few steps to a row of chairs.]

Franklin: Miss Porter?

[Kit sighs and takes a seat. He sits next to her. The officer goes back to typing.]


[Bette and Candace are sitting on opposite ends of the bed, as far apart as possible. They stare anywhere but at each other.]

Bette: Go ahead, do the W's.

Candace: West Virginia. Washington. Wisconsin.

Bette: Wyoming.

[Candace thinks a moment.]

Candace: I think that's it.

[Bette furrows her brow.]

Bette: There are no "X", "Y"'s or "Z"'s.

[Bette and Candace look at each other, then look away. They each sigh. tension between them is palpable. Both of them seem a little flustered and turned on, despite the attempt to think about something else.]

[Slowly, still looking away from each other, they each let a hand wander away. Their hands meet in the center of the bed. Bette gulps and squints her eyes shut, barely able to contain her arousal.]

Bette: Let's do math. What do you know?

Candace: Two plus two equals four.

Bette: The square of the hypotenuse side of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.

[The continue to hold hands, but footsteps are heard approaching and suddenly Bette pulls her hand away.]

Bette: (to Cop #1) Hey!

[Candace opens her eyes, shaken out of her euphoria.]

Bette: (to Cop #1) Hey!

[Bette gets up and goes to the bars. Cop #1 has just strolled by, still wearing Bette's sunglasses.]

Bette: (to Cop #1) I'm talking to you!

[Cop #1 chuckles at Bette and walks off. Bette leans against the wall and looks at Candace.]


[Robin and Jenny are having their date. They're sitting on the floor, having a makeshift picnic together. Easy music plays in the background.]

Jenny: Um, do you remember the first time that you were ever really, really embarrassed by one of your parents?

Robin: Absolutely. It was before my dad got transferred to Texas. We were living in Fort Lauderdale. Thirteen...

Jenny: Oh, my god.

Robin: ... years old. Junior high school. What?

Jenny: I... when I was 13, I... wait, wait, wait. I just had a total flashback.

Robin: (smiling) I have to know more about that, please.

Jenny: No, no, no, I wanna hear about your story.

Robin: (smiling) Okay, fine.

Jenny: Okay.

Robin: So, my mom's dropping me off at this party. First time I get invited to a cool kid's party. And, um, she insists on walking me in. Which is already... totally humiliating. And then, she's kissing me goodbye, on the lips, and as she's walking away, she turns back and she calls out, she says, "Honey? You remember, the more you hang on to it, the more they want it, so don't let any of the boys get funny with you." Oh, it was horrible.

Jenny: That's awful.

Robin: (chuckling) Turns out I wasn't even interested in boys.

Jenny: Did you know that you were gay?

[Robin thinks a moment.]

Robin: No, I just knew I wasn't into boys. I didn't... realize I was attracted to girls until the first... circus tour I did. (smiling) I fell madly in love that year. Oh, god.

Jenny: With the bearded lady.

Robin: (laughing) No.

Jenny: (laughing) Yes.

Robin: (smiling) No, it wasn't.

[Robin and Jenny giggle and smile at each other.]


[Bette and Candace are sitting on opposite ends of the bed again, in total silence. They both look extremely uncomfortable. The tension between them is thick. Bette sighs and gets up off the bed.]

Bette: I can't stand it...

[Bette walks to the wall a couple of feet away and leans her forehead against it. She closes her eyes.]

Candace: I'm sorry it's so painful.

Bette: (sighs) It's so painful.

[Bette looks anything but in pain. She takes a deep breath and sighs. Candace leans back and stretches out on the bed and sighs. The moments to come play out slowly.]

Bette: (still facing wall) What are you doing right now?

Candace: I just laid down.

[Bette puts a hand to the wall, eyes still closed.]

Bette: (whispering) I'm lying on top of you.

[Candace gasps.]

Bette: (whispering) You know what I'm doing right now?

Candace: I think so...

[Bette brushes her lips against the wall and starts to breath heavy.]

Candace: God, this is f*cking insane! What are you doing to me?

Bette: (whispering) f*cking you...

[Candace opens her eyes.]

Candace: Come over here.

Bette: (whispering) I am there, you know I am.

[Bette takes her hand from the wall. A few moments later, she shivers in orgasm.]


[Robin and Jenny are sitting on the couch now, facing one another. The Murmurs "Genius" plays in the background.]

Jenny: So, um, I remember that we were all squished into the back seat of the car.

Robin: Yeah.

Jenny: It was me, um, Todd, Amy, and of course Andrew, and we're all making out, which is good. And then I felt that Andrew had an erection, and it was just... and I reached over, and I undid his fly. And I remember, it was really small. (a beat) And I remember, it was just, like... he was really terrified.

Robin: (a beat) So you did it?

Jenny: I did. With my panties on. I just slipped them to the side. And I did it.

[Robin looks a little disenchanted, but manages a smile.]

Jenny: I don't know why. I just felt like... (whispering) I have to do this.

Robin: (quietly) Hm. You were 13?

Jenny: (nodding) Yeah.

[Robin leans forward as if to say something. The sound of a car pulling up outside is heard, followed by car doors slamming. It's Tim, and he's brought some friends.]

Friend #1: (off screen) Hey, Jenny. You in there? He said you'd be home. Jenny!

Jenny: f*ck, um...

[Jenny gets up and goes to the window.]

Robin: (laughing) What's going on?

[Jenny lifts the curtain to look out the window. Two of Tim's friends are sitting on the back porch. Tim is inside, a case of beer in one hand. They've obviously all been drinking already.]

Jenny: (to self) sh1t, Tim...

[Tim's friends see Jenny looking out the window.]

Friend #1: Jenny? Jenny!

Friend #2: Jenny! Jenny, c'mon out. C'mon out and play.

[Tim turns the stereo on and grabs a pizza and joins the guys on the back porch. Robin gets up to look out the window.]

Robin: Hm. Who the hell is that?

Jenny: I, uh...

[Robin looks out the window and sees the guys.]

Robin: Who is that?

Jenny: Um... hm. That - that's Tim - that - that's my ex.

Robin: Ah.

Jenny: Uh... he's renting me the place and he said that he would be out really late tonight.

Robin: Mm. Maybe we should try this another time, hm? How 'bout Friday?

Jenny: I can't.

Robin: Oh.

Jenny: I, uh... I'm working, uh... at Laurelwood Farms. Uh... the late shift because I need the money.

Robin: (sympathizing) I've been there.

Jenny: Um... are you free on Saturday night?

Robin: I have a date.

Jenny: Oh.

Robin: I'm dating.

Jenny: Of course you are.

Robin: (smiling) This was a date, right?

Jenny: (smiling) Totally.

Robin: (touching Jenny's arm) Well... um, why don't I just... I'll, um... um, I'll call you and we'll work it out.

Jenny: (sigh of relief) Yes.

[Jenny heads to the door and opens it. Robin puts on her jacket. Tim's obnoxious rock music comes in and totally crushes whatever ambience Jenny and Robin had going.]

Jenny: Bye. I'll see you later.

[Robin steps outside.]

Robin: Mkay. I'll call you tomorrow.

[Jenny goes up to Robin and kisses her passionately in front of Tim and his friends. Tim's friends ogle them.]

Friend #1: Yeah-hah-hah!

Friend #2: Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Friend #1: Woo!


[The guys are watching Jenny and Robin kissing.]

Friend #2: Yes!

Friend #1: Woohoo!

Friend #2: (to Tim) I guess you weren't man enough for her.