04x06 - Luck Be A Lady

Episode transcripts for the show "The L Word". Aired: January 2004 to March 2009.*
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Drama series features a group of lesbians; Jenny, Bette, Tina, Shane, Kit and Alice and their friends, family and lovers living in the trendy Greater Los Angeles, as they deal with life's ups and downs. New sequel coming 2019.
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04x06 - Luck Be A Lady

Post by bunniefuu »

The L Word - x - Luck Be A Lady

You're looking very Shane today.

Isn't it fantastic?

It's right exactly the chord we wanted.

Sexy and with holding.

Like you wanna f*ck me, but you can't f*ck me.

Tomorrow's gonna be amazing!

I know, right!

I'm sorry, what's tomorrow night?

Silly!

We're sponsoring the "Roll the Dice" premiere!

Well, I don't know if I can get a baby sitter in time Tomorrow night, there's gonna be you, everywhere: posters, billboards, giftbags, coasters, trash cans, keychains, handbags.

And you, you'd better be there, looking very Shane.

It's the biggest party of the year and you are our new It girl!

Don't you wanna just die?!

Yep?

What am I gonna do?

About what?

About Phillys, she keeps calling me!

And she thinks I'm the love of her life.

What did you expect, man?

You were her first love.

I know, but Shane, she's married, with kids!

And, you know, she's this totally accomplished woman with this big time career, and this whole other, you know, life!

And now Bette's mad at me.

Look, Alice, I love you to pieces, angel, but I gotta do with my own stuff right now.

What thing?

That f*cking at work thing.

Be specific.

There's this f*cking bullshit goddam Hollywood party that I have to go to.

Ooh, what movie?

Uh...

What is it, "Roll the Dice"?

You're a part of the "Roll The Dice" commune?

That's so exciting!

No, it's really not that big deal.

Oh my God!

Can I please be your date, please?

And I think you should invite everybody.

No, no.

I mean, I mean, yes, you can be my date, but no, I don't want you to invite in everybody else.

Don't be a yenta.

Alright, Shane, I really think we should all be there to, like, support your underwear.

Oh, sh*t.

Hold on.

It's my other line.

Hello?

Alice, What?

She's that really hot star you know, "Roll The Dice", and I wanna go to the premiere tomorrow night and support to Shane.

I can't go.

Why?

Because I have to work.

Why do I have to work?

Because of the way that you broke up with Phyllis.

She's completely terrorizing my staff, she's already slashed my budget.

It's a f*cking bloodbath over here.

Bette, Phyllis on line .

Alice, can you hold on?

Yeah, yeah...

Phyllis...

Have you heard from Alice?

No.

No.

But you know what?

I'm sure she's just swamped with her her internet site and...

I need you to get her to talk to me.

It's a difficult situation, Phyllis.

The sex was incredible, stellar, earth shadow even.

Well, you know, sometimes when you have great sex with someone it doesn't mean, really, that you're supposed to have a relationship.

Hello?

We're out of milk.

Alright, listen.

We're going to the premiere of "Roll The Dice" tomorrow night to see Shane's underwear.

I'm not going anywhere.

It's too expensive.

Even when I work, I lose money.

Helena, seriously.

I'm getting worried, 'cause like, you're not eating, you're not sleeping.

I'm eating, all right?

I'm eating.

Don't worry.

You're coming, you're gonna have a great time, we're all gonna go see Shane's underwear.

Great, I'll talk to you later.

What?

Helena's in!

Alice, I'm telling you!

That's no point!

I don't want anybody in, I don't want anybody out.

You get it?

Ooh, it's Papi.

Hold on.

You know what?

f*ck it!

I'm getting off.

I want coffee.

Yo!

Alicia!

You're going to that "Roll The Dice" premiere tomorrow night with your girl, Shane?

Yes, I am.

Alright, 'cause, I got myself a ticket from this producer that I drive but I wanna bring my girl, Tasha.

She's your girlfriend?

No, she's not my girl.

She's my girl, you know?

And, by the way, she's one of the best people on the face of the planet that you could ever meet.

And I think she thinks you're cute.

She thinks I'm cute?

Definitively.

Okay, listen.

I'll try to hook you up with a ticket.

Alright, good.

Also, there's an after party done by some woman like Rothberg.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Catherine Rothberg.

She's famous for her high stakes poker game.

But she's way outta my league, I don't even know how to play.

That's okay, girl, 'cause I just happen to be an expert and I'll teach you how to play.

Okay, great.

Oh, bye.

See you.

Great, fun, fun, fun.

Yo.

We're going out tonight.

I'm sensing a love connection.

Yo, I know what you're doing.

Don't do it.

You can't fight the fate, Williams.

I see the signs.

We're going out and that's an order.

Jodi Lerner's here to see you.

What?

Jodi!

Um, hi.

I'm really sorry that I haven't returned your calls.

I've just been so slammed...

You know what?

Stop it.

You've been freakin' out ever since we almost kissed.

And you're avoiding me.

So I just wanted to say, get over it.

You're wicked hot, and I would have gone for it.

But we have to work together.

So if you wanna pretend that it never happened, I'm okay with that.

I don't even know how to respond to that.

You've got Phyllis on line .

sh*t!

I'll let you get that.

Phyllis!

It's because she met Leonard?

If I didn't have a husband, everything would be different.

Alice on line .

Phyllis, can you hold on for just a second?

Hi Alice.

Alice, you've got to break up with her.

I already broke up with her.

Yeah, well, you re-break up with her, because some lesbians, you know what, you have to break up with them more than once.

Hold on, that's Jenny.

I gotta go.

I'm serious!

Alice!

Okay!

Hi!

Hi!

Do you wanna come to the Planet and have coffee with me?

I wish I could.

There's so much drama.

But listen, we're all gonna to the premiere of "Roll The Dice" tomorrow night.

Do you wanna come?

Yeah, definitively.

Hey mama.

Hi!

Hang on one sec.

That's Alice and she's putting together a bunch of people for the "Roll of the Dice" premiere, tomorrow night.

Do you wanna come?

Give me the phone.

Alice, you're f*cking k*lling me!

I'm not doing anything!

Dean Porter's office.

It's Kit, her sister's calling.

I'm gonna k*ll myself.

Before you k*ll yourself, Jenny wants to know do you wanna go to a premiere with her tomorrow night?

I can't go.

Because I'll be dead.

Because I will have k*lled myself.

Phyllis will not get off the f*cking phone.

Well, Shane's on the phone with Alice now.

Could she tell her to tell Alice to break it off.

Right now.

Shane?

Yeah?

Bette said, tell Alice to call Phyllis and break it off with her right now.

Okay, look, Kit says that Bette says you need to call Phyllis and break it off with her right now.

I did!

She did.

She did.

Well, tell her to do it again.

Do it again!

Look, Alice, will you please let this woman off the hook?

Oh, really!

You of all people are giving me advice on how to let a girl down easy?

You know what?

I don't think that, I don't think that response is necessary.

I don't have any money.

I also don't want you to change the topic.

I wanna know how many people you f*cking invited.

Okay, I invited Helena, Jenny, Bette.

She can't come.

Uh, Papi's coming, but she needs an extra ticket for Tasha.

But that's her angry friend.

Not angry.

Papi said she's not angry, she's just...

Well, look, Alice, I'm sorry, this is Jenny's phone.

Hold on.

Hello?

Debbie?

What?

Who's Debbie?

It's for me.

Uh, could you hold on a second?

Oh yeah, sure.

Hey Al...

Yeah.

Look, I gotta go.

It's Jenny's phone.

Listen, we're gonna have a really good time tomorrow night.

Uh-huh, I'm so sure.

Bye.

Um, hold on a second, please.

Who is Debbie?

Debbie is my childhood nick name.

Right.

Sorry.

Okay, Debbie.

Hello?

Hi!

I got your message.

Yes.

Well, guess what?

Sorry.

I am thinking of getting a puppy!

And I was wandering whether you wanna come with me at the shelter this week end to pick one out.

Oh my God, Debbie!

I'd be totally honored to help you pick out a puppy.

But I can't this week end.

Stacey's here.

Yeah, we're going on a romantic week end and we leave in the morning.

Oh really?

Where are you guys going?

Uh, she booked a B&B in Solvang.

It's supposed to be really pretty.

That's great!

I'm very happy for you that you're working it out.

Thank you.

I told her that if she cancelled this week end that was over.

I did exactly what you said and...

Well, have a great week end.

Thanks, Debbie.

Do you think I could just use your phone for just a quick sec?

It's not long distance.

Thanks.

Sorry.

Hello?

You're Stacey Merkins there?

Speaking.

This is Sophia Mancuso calling from Si Magazine.

Si Magazine?

Uh, yes, si, si.

And the writer who was covering the "Roll The Dice" premiere uh dropped out tomorrow and we want to know if you could go tomorrow to interview that Shane McCutcheon.

Gee, that's really short notice.

I've a week end plan...

Oh no!

Well, you're too busy, that's terrible!

Oh!

So sad, because, you know, we are looking for a senior editor but if you're too busy...

I understand...

Wait, no, no, no, wait.

I think I can rearrange a few things.

Oh!

Excellente!

We will be in touch with you.

And then someone, my assistant, Angelica, will call you about the press pass, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

Big kiss to you.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Thank you so much.

I really, really appreciate it.

Do you think Alice is seeing another woman?

No, I don't think she's seeing someone else.

I think she probably just needs more space.

Why does she need space?

Did she tell you she needed space?

I have Alice on line . P...

Phyllis, can you, can you just hold on one second?

Just one second, okay?

Alice!

No!

I wanted to tell you that I feel bad about this, this Phyllis thing.

I just don't think talking is gonna help.

Oh, f*ck, Phyllis is calling.

Oh, pick it up!

No, I can't.

No, no, no, pick it up right now.

Oh wait, it went to voice mail.

Oh, f*ck!

f*ck!

My life is ruined.

It's just ruined.

I'm sorry, I am.

I just...

I didn't plan for this to happen.

Hi, it's Phyllis.

I just wanted you to know that I really miss you and I want this thing to work out.

I know you're scared.

I'm scared too.

I don't want it to end, Alice.

I'm in love with you.

Please, call me.

I'm at the office.

Call me.

Phyllis...

Phyllis?

Damnit!

Tina's here to see you.

What?!

Tina?

How f*cking hard is it to get you on the phone?

Apparently not that hard.

You can't avoid me whenever you like.

Because we have a kid together now, okay?

Okay!

What do you need from me now?

I need you signature on the Beverly Montessori enrolment.

Wait, enrolment?

I just, I just only sent the applications.

You what?

We decided that we were gonna apply to First...

center for early education.

Then I had a chat with...

Institute because they had early art and music programs.

How could you do that?

How could you make all these decisions without me?

What do you mean?

I didn't, I didn't make these decisions without you.

We both decided, Tina.

No, we decided nothing of the sort.

Angelica should go to Beverly Montessori.

There is no way we are gonna pay .

dollars for preschool.

We will pay whatever it takes to get her the best education available.

Beverly Montessori is a wonderful school and it happens to be very close to my house.

That is not a factor.

So you're gonna make Angelica take a two-and-a-half hour car ride every single day so she can go to preschool with Diane Keaton's kids!

No!

I will make sure that she goes to the best school period.

The best school period!

You know what?

f*ck it!

I don't even know why I bother.

You clearly decided all of this without me.

And you what, for the record, I am not gonna let your overachieving, psycho dysfunction stress out our kid before she's three years old.

It's just f*cking preschool, for God's sake!

Crayons.

And Playdough.

No, it is not just crayons.

It is a f*cking Ivy League education.

So naive.

Jesus!

Uh...

Bette?

Phyllis is on line .

Oh, f*ck you, James.

Just f*ck you.

Honestly, Alice, poker's not my game.

I mean, I played once in Monte Carlo.

And I'm not a winner.

Oh, that's okay, 'cause, you know, that's why Papi's coming.

She's gonna teach sort a little poker tricks, you know.

Oh sh*t!

Come in!

Helena, pick your sh*t up.

Get your pants off the chips!

What's up?

Hey!

Liquor in the front...

Yeah, poker in the rear.

I know that one.

Who wants a drink?

I do.

You want a drink?

Yeah, okay.

Oh, I invited some people.

I hope you don't mind.

You should just leave that open.

Hey!

Come in!

A lot of people?

Like a few...

Hi!

Hey.

I don't have to get that phone call.

So, Papi, listen, I haven't played poker for a really long time.

Alright, Helena, english muffin, don't you even worry, alright?

It's all about the lessons you learn here tonight.

Okay?

You follow these simple rules, you can't loose.

Let's play!

Hi, Papi.

Come here, give me a kiss.

I love you.

Why don't you get a drink, okay?

Alright.

Do you like cards?

Do I...

Come watch how I take your money.

Come on, I really want you to hear the song, girl.

Angus, he hasn't heard it.

Hey, James.

James, can you get me the best internet site available for learning sign language?

Angus and Angelica are here to see you.

Speaking of Angus, can you just show me the man?

Angus and Angelica, they just start walk into my office.

Oh how's my boo?

My little boo?

I don't know.

You tell me.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, you do everything for him.

I just want to make sure that he's treating my sister right.

Kit, can you hold on a second?

Hey!

Mama B!

Hi baby kid, it's so good to see you.

Wow!

Very impressive.

She works in a new digs.

Hey, I've got Kit on the phone.

You wanna talk to her?

Uh no, I'll call her later.

Uh Kit, can I call you right back?

Uh, yeah.

okay.

Alright.

Great.

So how is everything with my sister?

Uh she's...

It's great.

The album's really awesome and people are really excited about it.

Yeah.

You're really lucky to be on it.

Yes, I am.

How's Hazel?

She's good.

She is uh...

She's really good with the kids and...

Do you love my sister?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the fact that you're f*cking the nanny behind my sister's back.

f*ck you off, that's what I'm talking about.

What?

You know, I love your sister very much and I made a mistake and if I'm not wrong, you've made a couple of those in your life too.

So, I don't think you're really in a position to judge me right now.

Don't you dare try to turn this into some...

Okay.

No.

Alright.

No, you're right.

I wanna fix it.

So I'm gonna break it up with Hazel.

I mean, that's so given, I just, I'm not sure...

I don't know whether to tell Kit or...

Well, see, you can break her heart and destroy her trust in you.

Mister Bealbin on line .

Sweetie, mama B is gonna put out some fire.

But I love you and I will see you later.

Thank you for bringing her by.

Thanks.

Hey, I love you too.

Rule number , poker's all about deception.

Hello.

Hey!

She left.

Stacey did?

It's about pretending your hand is better than it is.

We were all set to go to this romantic week end and, and...

She, she got this...

last minute job offering and she took it.

It's about psyching all the other players to your advantage.

Well thank you very much, you f*cking vag*na wig.

The what?

You've got to know when to bluff and how far to push it.

No, nothing.

It's, it's just something that I I call my little baby niece.

Well, f*ck her.

Alright?

f*ck her.

Yeah, f*ck her.

Listen, I...

I was wandering, uh...

You know, I've still got these reservations and uh...

If there's any chance you're free at all, it...

it'd be really silly let them go to waste, you know.

Let me check my schedule.

Second rule, Hey, Megan, what's wrong?

The chief Barclay had the promotion.

You're kidding me!

This guy's a moron.

Leave emotion at the door.

A moron who played golf with Mitch and went to the same fraternity.

That is so uncool.

I mean, you're so much more qualified than Barclay is.

Plus, you've been here since the beginning.

You've gotta play the hand you've dealth.

What do you suggest I do?

f*cking sue him.

Listen to me, Megan, nobody here deserves that promotion more than you.

Nobody.

Don't get involved in other people's bullshit.

That just gets in the way.

You know, that's easy for you to say.

You're a member of the boys' club.

A nice member, but a member nevertheless.

Third rule, poker's not for, like, the wussy player, all right?

Sometimes, you gotta go all in.

Place your bet.

Then commit to you hand.

You scare me.

Why do I scare you?

The more I'm afraid of something the more I know I have to do it.

I figured that out when I was a kid.

I can lead a protected life, hiding away from this scary world.

Or I could take on the things that scares me the most.

The more it might hurt, the more I might die doing it, the more worth doing it must be.

I don't wanna die right now.

Me neither.

Do you want to try it?

It's okay.

Come down.

Come up.

Don't worry about getting dirty.

Okay, I'm cool.

Two reds.

But I'm in.

I'm in.

What are we doing here?

Alright, alright, alright.

Alright.

Papi, we're going to smoke.

Alright, go.

Here we go, hands.

I'm ready.

Go.

Oh sh*t!

Oh man!

My girl's a winner!

She keeps her cards close to her chest.

I am so proud of you, man.

You just wade out.

You just wade it out, lady.

You just wade it out.

This is rent money.

Sorry, sorry.

That's funny.

I'll sue that.

Oh sh*t, little Nicky.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna put...

You know what?

Hey, mama.

I win!

Take it...

That's cool, that's cool.

What should I've done then?

What are you doing?

Get the f*ck off of her.

f*ck you.

Shut up!

Let go of her!

Handle your b*tches, man.

Oh, thank you.

You're going down, bitch!

Okay, okay, alright.

Ladies!

You're going down, bitch!

f*ck you!

Oh God!

f*ck my mother!

f*ck!

I'm so sorry.

Oh sh*t...

Oh it hurts.

It really hurts.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry again.

I'm not really that kinda psycho.

It's okay.

Sorry.

No, you know, it's, it's fine.

I'm actually kind of excited to get a black eye.

I think that'll be cute.

I don't know why.

It's gonna look good.

I don't know about a black eye but you'll definitively have a bad bruise for about a week.

Well, see, that's no good.

That is not gonna look good for the premiere.

You're going right?

Are you going?

Yeah, I'm going.

Don't worry, you'll still be cute.

Oh my God!

Looks like he got att*cked by a lawn mower.

I'm guessing a car accident.

All that blood come outta his nose means he could have internal injuries.

He's definitively getting in before you.

What are you?

A paramedic?

No.

It's like f*cking Iraq in here.

It's not f*cking Iraq in here.

You haven't seen Iraq.

Like you have?

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

Just what I've said.

I've been in Iraq.

Are you a journalist?

No.

I'm in the service.

You're in the army?

National Guard.

What?

You've got a problem with that?

No, I just, I...

guess I never imagined that you...

Okay, I'll tell you what.

While I was over here defending your country, what were you over here doing?

What?

Burning up oil driving your car to beauty saloon?

Uh, listen, I never asked you to go fight George Bush's stupid f*cking w*r, okay?

It was my job.

I don't like Bush anymore than you do.

It's your job to k*ll innocent Iraqis?

You know what?

sh*t.

That's a job?

Hey, Tasha!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I don't even know why I said that.

I was...

I'm sorry.

Please, don't go.

I'm sorry.

So what's up with you eye?

Well it hurts, like f*ck.

Sorry.

Personally, I've never seen any like it before.

You do a girl a favor, and she ends up biting the hand that feeds her.

What's up, Ed?

Megan Reed made a complaint.

She's thinking about suing Mitch for passing him before the PM promotion.

She's gonna sue him?

Well, she has been here long before Barclay.

It's total bullshit, okay.

She doesn't like the...

Donald heard me out, he's totally behind me.

She's a stupid bitch!

Whatever!

Go, mister man!

Have a great time!

Hey, Shay.

Hi!

Jared's at the back with our neighbors.

See you, Shane.

Thank you so much for doing this.

I appreciate it.

Sure.

And uh...

I'm sorry about the other day.

No!

I really don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Oh no, you didn't made it.

It was me too.

'Cause I had a part in that.

I just uh...

I don't know.

I don't, I don't wanna f*ck things up right now.

You know, with Shay, and, you know, myself...

What makes you think you'd f*ck things up?

Paige, I mean it, I think you are an amazing woman.

Oh, no no no.

Just stop before you get to the "but".

You're a really amazing woman, but you're not my type.

You're a really amazing woman, but I'm in a relationship.

I'd really love to f*ck you, but I won't stay the night.

I probably wouldn't.

And I'm also the person that, when I get too close to someone, I push her away.

And I don't trust myself enough to not do that to you.

And I don't wanna do that to you.

Plus, I mean it, I do think you're an amazing woman.

And I, I think you could do a lot better than me.

Thanks.

That's a...

nice way to put it.

It's the truth.

Thank you again.

Have a good time.

Yeah.

I'll call you in a little bit, for checking how kids are doing.

Oh hey, um...

with everything that's going on in your life right now, if you need a friend, I'm up for that.

I would love that.

Well, check again.

Am I speaking another language?

Stacey Merkin, M-E-R-K-I-N.

Just check under Si Magazine!

What's going on?


Hi.

I'm supposed to be interviewing Shane McCutcheon.

I'm Stacey Merkin, from Si Magazine.

Si Magazine's already inside in the green room.

Who booked you?

Sophia Mancuso.

I don't know any Sophia Mancuso and I know everybody.

We can't help you.

f*cking assh*le!

Hey, Max.

Hey.

What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?

I'm here to back up Megan Reed.

What do you mean?

I know for a fact that Mitch doesn't support women.

And that he routinely discriminates against female employees.

How do you know that?

What evidence are you offering to substantiate Megan's accusation?

Because he did it to me.

Shane!

Over here!

Oh my God!

Oh my God...

What does that mean, "You're looking very Shane today"?

f*ck, if I know.

You've got to come on in.

Oh, come with me.

Oh, sorry, you have to stay here.

They're gonna come in.

They're gonna come in.

Oh really?

That is so rude!

This is crazy.

This sucks.

Okay, enough.

Sorry.

You wanna go in?

Let's go on in.

Shane!

Shane, hi!

It's Stacey Merkin.

I was supposed to interview you.

Are you the vag*na wig?

Alright, time to go, m'am.

Hi!

The Chart.

Yeah, Alice, you know.

Pretty dress.

Sorry.

Debbie, do you think it's terrible the two of us in here along together?

No, I don't think it's terrible.

I think that she was the one that stood you up.

And you've done nothing wrong.

I think I'm supposed to be completely broken-hearted 'cause she doesn't care enough about our relationship that she turned down at a stupid interview with some...

Thank you.

...

no name celebrity.

The truth is I'm actually in a very beautiful place with you and and there's a fire and good wine and I think the reason why I feel guilty is that I really wanna kiss you.

You do?

A lot.

So kiss me.

I'm sorry.

I...

I really want you.

But I think that's...

What?

I feel terrible.

I just, I, I can't cheat on Stacey like this, I've got uh...

I'll talk to her.

And I'll tell her that it's just over.

And then...

I owe her that.

I am so crazy about you.

You are?

Oh f*ck!

I have to, uh, I have to talk to you about something.

What?

I've been lying to you, and I've done something that's very dishonest, and I'm very, very, very sorry.

I hope that if you can let me explain all the crazy reasons why I've done this that it won't be too late for us.

There's no such thing as "too late".

And I really believe that.

Truly.

Just tell me.

Just talk to me.

I mean, whatever you've done...

I'm so sorry...

What?

I can...

Yeah?

Lindsey?

Lindsey, are you in there?

sh*t!

Where is my shirt?

Over here.

It's okay, honey.

I'm just, I'm getting out of the shower.

There's water everywhere.

Sweetie, I'm so sorry.

I'll be there in seconds.

I'm so sorry and I did a stupid mistake.

What the f*ck is she doing here?!

I didn't mean to...

It's okay.

What are you doing here!

Oh my God!

I'm so sorry.

You're crazy!

Schecter...

Hello, Merkin.

Stacey, this is my friend I was telling you about.

This is Debbie Oxnard.

No, this is Jennifer f*cking Schecter, the lunatic whose book I reviewed.

What?

That's actually what I was about to explain.

What could you possibly say?

I don't know.

This is gonna sound so...

I thought that if I could prove that you weren't a saint, and I thought that if I could make you sleep with me that it would prove that all those really horrible, mean things that Stacey said about me and my experiences and the way I turned out...

wouldn't be true.

What the f*ck are you talking about?!

I thought that if I could make you into a liar and a cheat like me...

But you know, the thing is, you're not.

I mean, you're right about that, Stacey.

You're a saint.

I'm so sorry.

You're not, you're not a student.

No.

f*cking manatees.

The manatees are a little bit true 'cause I...

I did write a story about...

Sounder?

That's not my dog.

I adopted him from a rescue.

Did you sleep with her?

No.

No.

I gotta get...

I gotta get out of here.

How could you do that?

f*ck!

How can anybody do something like that.

I know, it's crazy.

Just stay the f*ck away from us.

Ugh, that movie bit ass.

You know what?

I need a new haircut, and I've just stopped wearing ties.

But that was an amazing flop back then when she had the river.

God, look at that.

Hey.

Wow, you look...

... Very Shane today?

f*ck you.

f*ck everyone.

Let's play poker.

Shane?

Yes?

There's somebody I think you should meet.

Saskia?

I would like to introduce you to Shane.

I've been told I'm looking very Shane today.

Well, I would consider that as a compliment.

Thank you.

sh*t, um...

I'm gonna take this.

Thanks, Burg.

So, it was nice to meet you.

Hello.

Oh hey!

I'm really sorry to bother you.

I just thought I would get your voice mail.

Shay woke up from a bad dream.

Can I talk to him?

Hello?

Hey little man.

I hear you had a bad dream...

Yeah.

You want me to come and get you?

No, I'm okay.

You're sure?

I would like to bed now.

Yeah, if you want.

Yeah, he's gonna go back to bed.

He just needed to hear your voice.

Should I come in?

I mean, I can try to get out of here.

No, don't worry.

He's fine.

You just have a good time, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

We were together for years.

In New York.

She was hot but her career stopped and mine took off.

So why did it end?

I got famous, and she wanted to be the star.

Tina and I, Tina and I were together for eight years.

But then then a lot changed after she had the baby.

So much changed.

Wait, wait, wait.

Tina had a baby?

Oh no, we, we had a ba...

a baby.

Me and Tina.

You and Tina together?

Yes.

A toodle, she's little.

Angelica, she's almost .

An gelica Angelica...

Angelica.

That is pretty.

Thank you.

She's beautiful.

I don't like kids.

What?

I don't like kids.

Wow...

WOW...

I'm sorry.

I don't.

They need too much attention.

They get in the way of work, of sex.

They're a hassle.

Can I get you ladies anything else?

No, just the check.

Thanks.

Thank you.

'Cause I love her.

It's just, you know, I think she's just used to having housekeepers, people looking after like everything.

Yeah, I know, I get that.

What's the deal with you and Papi though?

I, I was at...

Long Beach, and I just come out, and I went to The Palms.

And of course Papi tried to pick me up.

Yeah.

So we hooked up for one night and uh...

that was just terrible.

Oh really?

You had bad sex with Papi?

Oh yeah!

There was like no chemistry.

I mean she's not my type.

I don't know you had a type.

I just like girls who are girls.

You know, it's all good though 'cause me and Papi we became best friends.

She's the best friend anybody could have.

Yeah, yeah.

That's for sure.

She's got your back.

Yeah.

Definitively.

So you like girly girls, huh?

Yeah.

You like my dress?

You're f*cking with me?

It's pretty, right?

It's pink, feminine.

Yeah, that's cute.

Yeah.

Glad you'd like it.

You were touching my right nipple...

and I...

Oh, excuse-me.

Yeah?

Is that your friend on the poster?

Yes.

We were just wandering if you could settle a little wager for us.

Sure.

Does she prefer to sleep with boys or girls?

Boys.

Actually, she plays on the whole girls team.

Oh damnit!

Catherine Rothberg.

Oh!

Hi.

I hate to take your money, Miles.

That's way too easy.

Miles Jewell.

He's canadian.

Helena Peabody.

That's a pleasure.

Ooh, double or nothing.

Guess that accent.

Australian.

Middle Sex.

London.

Sussex.

I have a house near Midhurst.

It's big, it's old, it's freezing in the winter and I hate it.

I'm sorry.

So what's your story?

Hundred box say, she has a boyfriend who's an architect.

Oh no, movie producer, definitively.

What?

Do you just bet on everything?

Everything.

Everything.

So, what's the verdict?

Currently single, but a life long play on Shane's team.

I hate to loose.

We were just on our way to my private power game and we were wandering if you'd like to join us.

I'd love to come.

I mean, I've heard that's a great game.

Well, I have to warn you, it's not for the fane of heart.

I'm feeling lucky tonight.

Hey.

She went down around .

How was your date?

It sucked.

Ooh, I'm sorry.

Good night.

I, I did it by the way.

I broke it off with Hazel.

Good.

I asked them to change over the theater.

Oh my godness!

My God!

It's good to see you.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Can you sign here, Miss Peabody?

Oh, thank you.

You're not playing?

Take it easy, okay?

I forgot to tell you the last rule.

The house always wins.

Let's do this.

Let's do it.

Hey.

You left the party?

Yeah, uh, I'm not in this much.

I made my grandmother a meatloaf.

It sounds nice.

I don't think I've actually ate anything tonight.

Would you like some meatloaf?

Let's see it!

You know, I just need to take things kinda slow.

You know?

Okay, slow is good.

Let's move slow.

I can do slow, so...

Phyllis...

Alice...

I told Leonard about this, I told him I wanted a divorce.

I don't do drama.

Obviously there's something you need to work out.

I'll see you around.

Hi.

I'm sorry.

Can we try again?

Come in.

I'm all in.

I call.

I'll take your . . .

dollars?

Yeah, that's what you signed up for.

I had no idea it was quite that much.

Well, it's too late now.

Let's see your cards.

As you americans like to say, read them and weep.

Oh my God...

Catherine, I haven't been entirely forthcoming about my financial situation.

I mean, it's a little embarassing, actually.

But my mother and I, we had this slight disagreement and I can't for the time being get my hands on the family holding.

I can't pay my debt, Catherine.

I know, I had lunch with your mother two weeks ago in Monaco.

Look, this is the key to my presidential suite.

Meet me Wednesday night at .

I'm sorry to hear about you financial problems, but don't worry, there's more than on way to pay off a debt.

You should have listen to you friend, everybody knows the house always wins.
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