05x02 - Look out, here they come

Episode transcripts for the show "The L Word". Aired: January 2004 to March 2009.*
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Drama series features a group of lesbians; Jenny, Bette, Tina, Shane, Kit and Alice and their friends, family and lovers living in the trendy Greater Los Angeles, as they deal with life's ups and downs. New sequel coming 2019.
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05x02 - Look out, here they come

Post by bunniefuu »

The L Word - x - Look out, here they come


More lesbian sex, I want more lesbian.

You're the one that told me lesbians are always sleeping with their friends.

So let's see it!

See them hook up!

For example.

Page , scene .

I think we're missing an opportunity here.
I think

Bev and this make-up artist should totally hook up.

- That would never happen.
- Think about it.

I mean, just because it didn't happen in real life,

it doesn't mean it can't happen in the movies.

This is Hollywood. We can do whatever the hell we want.

You think to be forgetting that Bev and Nina are together.

She cheats with the plumber.

I like the idea of Bev as the serial cheater.

It undermines the significance of her affair with the plumber.

Now, this might be crazy, but what about Nina and Shaun?

No! No.

Nobody's ever wants to see Nina having sex.

- No one will ever go to the film!
- It's not about what people want to see!

It's about the fact that Nina is too loyal to cheat.

It goes against her nature.

I like the idea of Bev's the cheater.

I don't see her with Shaun. What about Bev and Ellen?

- Now, that's hot. I like it.
- That would never happen.


They're too much alike.

Okay, but they're not having a relationship, Tina.

- They're just f*cking.
- Well, I don't buy it.


Well, nobody cares what you buy, okay?

Yeah, I know he's financing your movie, honey.

I would love to. I know.

I would be more than happy to work on the film.

Alright, let's see how Tina goes and...

and I'll give her a call, or you ask her.

- "Gatecrasher" by Ping Pong b*tches -

- Hi, I'm Shane.
- Oh, of course!

- We've been expecting you. Come on in.
- Thank you.

- Thanks for coming on such short notice.
- Sure.

Madison's stylist had to flight back east for some family emergency.

Oh, I'm glad Jenny called me.

Well, my husband's really spending a fortune on her movie.

You uh...

- have a very nice place.
- I'm glad you like it.

I do.

This way.

Oh, that color is so nice.

How many times do I have to tell you stop touching your face?

Set up straight.
Shane's here to do your hair.

Shane,

- this is Madison, the bride.
- Congratulations. Hi.

Hi, Shane.

And that's Abigail, her sister and maid of honor.

- Hi.
- And Gina, one of the bridesmaids.

- How are you doing?
- Hi.

The photographer's gonna be here in two and a half hours. That's enough time?

- No, no, I'll be fine.
- Oh, great.

'Cause I'm gonna need you to do me when you're finished with them.

No problem.

Who would like to go first?

- "Long As You Love Me" by Shirley Brown -

- Thanks.
- Hey, do you think Tina's on a date?

- It kinda looks like.
- Yeah.

We took her to these preschool interviews last week.

She was so impressive.

It amazes me how smart she is.

She's really starting to show some artistic talents,

- which makes Bette really happy.
- Is Bette an artist?

Oh, no, no. But she's the dean of CU School of the Arts.

And before that she was the director of the CAC, and before that, she was a gallery owner.

So, art is really important to her.

Well, that's an understatement.

It's her life.
When we were looking for donors, she insisted that he'd be an artist, and not just any artist.

He had to have made the Whitney Biennial Art.

It's very typical of Bette.

She sounds neurotic.

Anyway. Not in a bad way.

Anyway, she really wants Angie to be an artist.

Don't you think that's something she should let Angelica decide for herself?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. She wouldn't, never... I mean, we would never force her to be anything that she didn't wanna be.

You're the one that said that marriage's for losers.

- So, why are you doing it?
- To make daddy happy!

And we'll go just better.

Shane, she cheated with a married man, besides he was cooing his wife.

- Now, she's bitter!
- f*ck off, Maddie.

I don't know why anyone would get married. I mean, look at our parents, they're miserable.

Are you married, Shane?

No.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No.

Do you have a girlfriend?

- Not anymore.
- Then, you like girls.

Yes, I do.

Does that mean you'll never get married?

Gay people aren't allowed to get married, idiot.

Yeah, I know, but they can still pretend.

Well, I don't think it's for me, but I admire people who do it.

Despites why they're doing it.

You are so good, Shane.

I wish you could do my hair everyday.

- I bet you do.
- Shut up, Maddie.

Okay, I'm next now.
Do me.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I think it's just a matter of uh...

- "When Tomorrow Comes" by The Emotions -

exposing her to all sorts of expressions, art, you know, music, all of that.

You know, when the time comes, she can make an educated decision about what she wants to do. Hi.

- Sorry.
- It's okay. Hi.

Denise, this is uh, this is Bette.

The famous Bette...

- Oh, famous? Did I miss something?
- No, we were just uh...

Tina's just told me a lot about you.

All good stuff.

We were talking about Angelica, actually.

She's really beautiful.

You've met her?

Oh no. Tina showed me a picture.

Well, we're just having lunch over there.

If you feel like you wanna join us.

- No, well, I think we'll stay.
- You know what? Go ahead.

That's okay.
I have to get back to the office anyway.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

- That was lovely to meet you.
- Yeah, nice to meet you too.

I'll be right over. Okay?

Maybe we can do this another time.

I think you have some things to figure out.

Share time, ladies.

You know there's stalls in there, right?

They're locked.

- "All Day Preaching" by The Soul Children -

It's weird.

Well, I guess that's what you get for hanging at The Planet, right?

Right.

- After you.
- No, after you.

Thanks, buddy.

Thank you.

So, how did it go with Denise?

- It was great.
- Really?

Yeah. I think we're gonna get together again.

That's great, T.

So, what does she do?

Why do you ask that?

- That's a hideous question.
- I'm just curious.

She's a mortgage broker.

Wow, that's so... um...

You know what? It doesn't matter what she does, because she's cute,

- she's smart... right?
- That's right.

You know, remember what we talked about.

So is Tasha back for good?

Yeah, what happened?

Oh, nothing happened.
I mean, I think they just, I think there's a million reasons why they can get delayed.

You can ask her about it tonight, though.

The four of you are going on a double date?

I just pissed next to the cutest boy alive.

Really? Who?

- I don't know. I don't see him.
- I just got a text from Shane.

She says your boss's house is really huge.

Not as big as my boss's ego.

Shane's doing hair for his daughter's wedding.

Wedding? I forgot to pick up my dress. I have to pick up my dress.

- I'm sorry. Have fun!
- Really?

You know how Shane's doing?

I think she just want to get pass through the Paige stuff.

You guys really think that Paige burnt WAX down?

I don't think it could be more obvious.
Really.

She must have been really angry.

Well, she's lucky that that Shane doesn't wanna prosecute.

I'm just worried about Shane, because I feel like everything's escalating.

Escalating?

- Well...
- Yeah.

We used to say that every time Shane walked into a room, some girl left crying.

But now...

No one's really ever committed arson over Shane before.

It's like, what's next?

You are so good!

I don't know what you're doing to me.

But do that.

Don't stop.

I wish
my sister could get married everyday.

Yeah?

Well, I didn't expect to see you back so soon, Williams.

Although I can't say I'm sorry.

I might be lonely right here after you're all shipped out.

Or maybe you need to sign yourself off for active duty, Beech.

Just going fat sitting up here on this desk.

You know, some of these guys who stick around here

make sure all local..., huh?

So, what's the deal, Williams?

To what do I own this unexpected priviledge?

I'm seeking counsel.

I've been told I'm under investigation.

Do you know the nature of the complaint?

Well, I haven't been formally notified, but I believe I'm being investigated for h*m* conduct.

Very sorry to hear that.

I'd like to start preparing my defense.

I haven't been detailed to your case, Captain Williams, and, as you can see, I've very heavy work on my own.

Look,

I'm not trying to overboarding you.

I need some advice.

Williams, my best advice to you is to mind your P's and Q's and think about whether or not you want to stay in the service.

I don't have to think about that.

- I've dedicated my life to the m*llitary.
- I'm sure you have.

But allegations like this are almost impossible to disprove.

Mostly because they end up being true.

Once they're out, the m*llitary doesn't want you anymore.

Which is understandable, don't you think?

- "Stasch" by Coleman Hawkins -

There he is.

The beautiful boy with the crystal blue eyes.

Max?

He's gay, right?

Please tell me he's gay.

- What? Something's wrong with him?
- No, he's very nice.

Yeah. He, she... he's not gay anymore.

- Anymore?
- So, he used to be gay?

Well...

- not exactly.
- Not exactly?

He used to be a lesbian.

He's a trans man.

Oh my god! I had no idea.

Hey! I see you guys later.
Bye! Love you, love you.

- Hey, it's hot, hot, hot.
- Thanks, Kit.

Hey, do you know that girl over there?

That girl?

The one who's been sitting here for three days in the same ole clothes?

Do you see what she's reading?

Hey there!

Oh, hi, I'm sorry.
Do you want me to pay?

No, no, no, no. I just came over to see if you wanted something else.

No, I'm good. Thanks.

I can't really afford anything else anyway.

I'm sorry. dollars for a slice of pie, I know it's a lot.

No, I didn't mean it like that.

Well, what about if you had one on me?

- I mean, the pear polenta tart...
- No, I can't...

Come on. You...
You've got to have one, alright?

Actually, you know what?
I'm starving. Thank you.

So, how's the book?

"Some of her parts"?

It's like my fifth time reading it.

Jennifer Schecter is my favorite author.

You see that young man over there?

He lives with her.

- Do you wanna meet him?
- No.

No, no, no. I couldn't...
I don't wanna bother him.

Oh yeah, come on, come on!
Come on! You're gotta, baby girl!

Come on!
Get your butt up! Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.

Uh, Max, Max!
What's your name again?

- Adele. Adele Channing. Hi.
- Hi, I'm Max Sweeney.

And I'm Kit Porter.

It's so nice to meet you.

Now you ready to rock.

Go get married.

Good luck.

Shane!

There you are.

Look what happened.

- "From Toys To Boys" by The Emotions -

Sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry. Excuse me.

Could I have a medium triple cappucino with two pumps of vanilla, please?

Can you also put it on my tab?

- Thank you.
- Is this the famous Jenny Schecter?

Kit, it's such a nightmare.
My f*cking assistant Marissa quit on me.

And I've been writing all morning and I have to be at the wedding in one hour and I don't have a wedding gift.

Can you take a minute? There is someone really special I'd love for you to meet.

Great. Just crush the dress.

I don't...

I can't!

Kit, I have to go buy my satin shoes.

Adele,

- I'd like you to meet Jenny Shecter.
- Oh my god!

- I can't believe I'm meeting you.
- You are.

It's great. You've met me. Max, will you please, please, please do me a huge favor?

Jenny, Adele's a huge fan of yours.

She's read your book five times. "Some of her Parts", right?

Yeah. And, and, and that book, "Sarah Shuster"?

- times.
- That's nice.

I adapted it as a screenplay for my women's studies class.

What do you mean, you, you adapted it?

Oh but only, only... Only as a class exercice. I mean, not as a publication.

And what school did you go to, Aline?

I went to the university of Central Florida.

Jenny, her name's Adele.

- I gotta go.
- What don't you come

- and sit...
- Yes! Come on, come on.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Would you bring her coffee over, please?

Oh, that's good!

Oh yeah, oh, right there!

What?

What?!

What? Did I hurt you?

You suffer,

- you're sure?
- No, I'm fine.

Everything's gonna be fine now.

Thank you so much.

There.

That assh*le Rack is here with his wife.

I want him to see me with you.

Please, don't leave me tonight.

Just don't leave me.

- Hello, gorgeous.
- Joyce!

- No!
- Yes!

Don't say I shouldn't have.

"Shouldn't have" is a thing that makes me want you most.

Joyce... Yeah!
Come sit down a minute. Yeah.

What is it, Phyllis? What's on your mind?

- This is hard.
- Well, whatever it is, just say it.

You made a lovely proposal to me and I want you to understand how very much it meant to me that you would want to... to u-haul with me?

Oh god! I'll never forget you saying that. That was so cute.

- It was?
- It was.

Phyllis, look.

I know you just got out of a -year marriage, and if you need to take a little more time, just take it.

I'm not going anywhere.

So you're okay with me seeing other people?

What?!

No, no no no no no. That's not what I mean.

- Please, understand.
- There's no understanding here, Phyllis.

I'm not okay with that.

- Are you already seeing somebody?
- No!

No, I mean I want to, but...

I told Camilla that I had to talk to you before we did anything.

Camilla?

- My friend?!
- Joyce, she is not your friend!

She's a friend of a friend! And you met her at that party I threw for you!

We both feel really bad about this, but, come on, don't take it that way. It's not like, you know, you versus Camilla.

This is foul play.

- I'm so sorry, Joyce.
- Thank you!

Phyllis, you're being rash.

Very rash.
I'm gonna leave now and give you some time to think about your actions so you don't do something you will regret later.

- "Stasch" by Coleman Hawkins -

I went on the scholarship. So it's the only school I know that has both the women's studies program and the film program.

How come you wanted to go to film school in Orlando, if you don't mind me asking.

- Because she loves Disney World.
- No. I...

Well, I just...

I also was offered a scholarship named by you.

But it's of course where I wanted to go. But... my mum had kind of a nervous breakdown after my dad left her. So...

I just stayed to take care of her.

Is your mama okay now?

Uh, yeah, she's better. She's better.

We just... we had a tough time. You know?

I stayed to take care of her, but then, she still took a lot of anger at me.

You know what?

It was reading this book that got me through that time. It was reading "Some of her Parts".

And this book saved my life.

What a nice thing to say, isn't that, Jenny?

I went out and I found every single thing I could about Jennifer Schecter.

I found your first short stories collection.

I read those stories over, and over, and over.

Miss Schecter, I just, I can't tell you... Oh!

- Jenny.
- Okay, Jenny.

- Do you know why I'm here?
- No.

In West Hollywood? I'm here because I heard somewhere that, that this café was her inspiration for the Pluto Café in "Lez Girls".

I'm just, I'm so honored to meet you.

Well, it's very nice to meet you too.

Oh, hey, Jenny, aren't late for a wedding or something?

- What time is it?
- It's ten to two.

That f*cking assistant Marissa, well she was supposed to get me the wedding gift,

- and now I don't have a gift.
- So what?

You can just give him after. I mean, I'm sure they're registered.

I'm so sorry. This is my fault.

- Can I do anything for you?
- I mean, I'm not sure. Unless...

I don't know. Unless you wanna go to Garie's or Williams' to know where my name is registered and maybe pick up the gift on my behalf

- and drop it off at the wedding?
- Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Definitively. Of course.

I have nothing else to do.

Good! Okay, good, good, good.

Come on!

You can help me pick up a perfect pair of satin shoes, maybe carry that for me, and tell me more about your experience.

- Wow!
- You wanted that job, didn't you?

As if!

No, those days are gone.

Looks like nobody warned you about dropping the soap.

- It just slipped from my hands.
- It just slipped from my hands.

You hear that, Billie?

- She's a fluff.
- Are you a fluff, pretty girl?

I'm sorry. Maybe if you could just explain to me what that is...

Are you in for real trigger?

Get away from me or I'm gonna call security.

Oh, she's strong too!

I want you to clique up, bloody hands.

It involves blood?!

You're such a pretty girl!

You know, what a shame if something would happen to that face.

Let her go, Jackie.

- Why should I?
- Because she's with me.

Suit yourself.

But I'd keep my eye on her if I were you.

He looked at me like I had a f*cking disease.

I thought you guys already knew each other.

Well, we went to a leadership together.

But I didn't know he was such a f*cking... boy.

He hasn't even seen action.

He'd probably sh*t his f*cking pants

if his buddy got his... blown off next to him.

Well, you know what? The good thing is, you know where he stands, and now you can go get yourself a lawyer that's not in the m*llitary. Right?

I can't afford a civilian attorney.

Let me help you, Tash.

And I don't want a civilian attorney.

Why?

Because if I hire a civilian attorney then I'm basically just admitting that I'm looking to get an honorable discharge.

Beech said that's almost impossible to defend the "don't ask, don't tell" case because the allegations are usually true.

Well, then forget Beech!
He's obviously a shitty lawyer.

You can win this.

And I don't even why the army tries to keep gays out of the m*llitary anyway.

I'm not fighting to allow gays to serve openly in the m*llitary.

I'm not even trying to overturn "don't ask, don't tell".

- That's not gonna happen right now.
- Then what are you fighting for?

I'm fighting to stay in the m*llitary.

I've worked my whole life for this, Alice.

So, you've worked your whole life to just deny who you are.

I'm sorry, Tasha. I'm really just gonna have to adjust my thinking on this one.

I'm on your side, though.

Okay?

I am.

Sorry.

I sit here.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'm so sorry. Here. Come on.

I'm so sorry that I'm late.

Yeah, we were all waiting.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you wait.

- Nice dress.
- Thanks, Tina.

Honey? Honey? Honey!

It looks like Madison isn't here.

I don't know.

- Have you seen Shane?
- No.

I always do everything I'm supposed to do.

Everything my father wants.

I try so hard to please him, but... he's never pleased.

Well, forgetting your father for a second, what is it that you want?

No one ever asked me that before.

- Do you love him?
- Of course I love him. He's my father.

I don't mean your father.
I mean your fiancé.

He's sweet, and he treats me well.

- Good.
- Madison, are you in there?

- Just a second!
- Everybody's waiting, sweetheart.

Do you uh... do you two have anything in common?

Thanks.

We uh...

We're both adventurers.

And we love to travel.

And uh...

we really try to... a lot.

It just sounds like you're compatible.

Does he listen to you?

He always looks me right in the eye.

Is he faithful?

I'm pretty sure.

Good.

That's more than most people can say.

You do look beautiful.

Your hair's staying put.

You're gonna be fine.

You really are.
You're gonna be okay.

Is there something better out there?

I mean, Brad's sweet, but...

He doesn't make me feel like we're gonna rock the world together.

Madison, it sounds like you're looking for something that uh... you use to do on your own. and no one could help you find it.

But at the same time, from what you're telling me, it sounds like you and Brad are gonna be great together.

Don't throw that away.

It's not that easy to find.

And uh... well, you really

remind me of somebody I used to know.

A lot.

No, no. It's, it's uh...

It's a compliment.

Well, you only got one sh*t.
Come on. Let's go do it.

Yo, mama!

What did they say?

What were the actual words?

I don't know.

I think she said something about cliquing?

- Did she tell you to clique up?
- Yes!

It means just joining a g*ng!

She just wants you to join a g*ng.

What use am I going to be to a prison g*ng?

Really? I mean, does that mean that Dusty is in a g*ng too?

- Who's Dusty?
- Dusty's my cellmate.

The one who I said went stepped and went up to Jackie and said,

she said: "She's with me".

Oh, girl, baby girl, that means that if Jackie even look at you wrong, she has to answer to Dusty.

Girl, I hope Dusty is tough enough to take care of you.

Oh, she's strong.

She's amazingly strong.

She doesn't talk much, but um...

When I first met her, I thought she was a homicidal maniac.

A homicidal maniac who saved your butt.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been watching her.

Wow, she's got this...

that quiet intensity.

She's fascinating, actually.

She sounds like she's independant, girl.

And that's the kind of friend you want, you know what I'm saying?

How do you know all that?

I've been places, okay?

sh*t, have I...

So, sometimes they tell you why you've been delayed, but they don't have to tell you?

Um, yeah, pretty much.

I mean, you don't know anything for sure, until you're on that plane half way to Irak.

She doesn't know...

- You can trust them.
- Don't.

- Oh, sh*t.
- What?

I thought Phyllis already broke up with her, didn't she?

I so don't wanna know.

- They're breaking up right now.
- How do you know?

Body language.

Phyllis, listen.

You can't leave me. I'm good for you.

I'm rich, I'm smart, I'm great in bed.

And I know you think you wanna play the field, but I'm telling you.

You will never find anyone better than me.

- "Ojala" by Pink Martini -

Are you okay?

I'm good.

Do you see anybody here you like?

Are you kidding me? This has got to be the straightest wedding on earth.

No lesbian's ever going to get laid here.

Yeah, probably.

I'd surely have a drink.
Let's go to the bar. Come on.

Are you okay? You're acting weird.

I'm fine.

- Hi, Shane.
- Hi.

Guess what.

Willy loves you.

He said the girls can't stop talking about how you did them and I said:

"Willy, can Shane please do hair on the movie?" And guess what he said.

- What?
- Yes.

Yeah? Good.

Tina, what did you get the bride?

I got the bride for

- expresso cups.
- That's nice.

- What about you?
- Oh god! Thank god you're here.

What did I get the bride?

You got the bride a Limited Edition Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer in Metallic Chrome.

Nice gift.

- It's a dream appliance.
- I'd love that.

- I brought you some cake. You're hungry?
- I guess so.

Hi.

I don't like that.

I'm sorry.

Let's put the gift on the table. I'll see you later. Bye, Shane.

- Bye, Jenny.
- Come on.

- Who was that?
- I don't know.

- Jenny's driving me crazy.
- Hi, Shane.

- Hi, Gina.
- Do you wanna dance with me?

You know, I really don't like to dance.

What, what, what?

My assh*le boss is over there.

I have to talk to him.

Oh god!

- Please dance with me.
- Gina, you know...

I want Rick to see us together.

Okay, how about this?
I have to run through the bathroom.

That's cute. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?

Stay right there. Stay put.

I'll come and find you, okay?

- I'll be here.
- Okay! I love it!

- "J'Veux Un Mec" by Adrienne Pauly -

Guys!

- Alice, don't.
- What?

What is up with you two?

This is really stupid. We should just tell them.
They're our friends.

- Tell us what?
- Tasha's being held back because she's been investigated for h*m* conduct.

You're freaking kidding me?!

And she has to keep a low profile, so if you could just lay off the PDA.

I'm sorry. You just, you should have said something.

I'm so sorry, Tasha.
I had no idea.

No, I'm sorry.

Be right back.

What are you doing?

I told you not to tell anybody.

I know. I wasn't going to.
But I had to.

You didn't have to do sh*t, Alice.
You just can't keep your mouth shut.

Okay, I don't deserve that, alright?
I was trying to protect you.

- You don't get it, do you?
- Get what?!

- You were sitting a...
- Alice, it's my life. Okay?


I determine when and if people will know.

They're not just people.
They're my friends.

- You can trust them.
- Oh, it's not them I'm worried about.

Oh, what's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

I'm sorry, nothing.

I just don't understand what the big deal is if they know.

Because, Alice, I don't want to talk about it and I don't wanna sit around and listen everyone's opinions about it.

And I don't want people to feel like they can't be themselves around me.

They don't feel that way, Tash.

But see, this is why I didn't even wanna come out tonight.

Listen, I'm just having a hard time understanding why you wanna be part of an institution that hates who you are.

I'm struggling with that.

But I know how important this is to you and I know this is everything to you.

And you're everything to me and I'm just trying to stand here by you.

I know. You're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too. I am.

I like your posters.

Isn't it sad, huh?

Dorthy Dandridge d*ed at the age of .

OD'ed on anti-depressants.

She k*lled herself?

Well, they say it was an accident.

You know, she was taking all these different medication for her severely injured ankle.
Who knows?

Apparently, she was really depressed.
It's so sad.

I loved her in "Carmen Jones".

Me too.

Dusty,

earlier, when you said

- I was "with you"...
- Doesn't mean I want anything.

Look who we ran into.

Hi, I'm sorry.
We didn't mean to take your seats.

I'ts okay, it's okay.
We're actually gonna take off.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

- Can you grab my purse?
- Oh, sure.

- "Toi Et Moi" by Jil Caplan -

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I've got to take a break.

This one over here can't wait to get between the sheets.

I told her we need to spend more time with other people.

You know, spread the love.

Tasha, I am so sorry, I had no idea.

Don't be sorry.
You didn't do anything wrong.

- Alright. It was nice to see you, guys.
- Yeah, it's good to see you too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Honey, could you please bring me another glass of wine?

Sure.

Help me!

- "Baby Don't You Go" by The Miracles -

Do you know that you're the only man in my life?

Well, someone would have to be.

I'm very glad it's me.

I've had the most amazing experience today.

This woman came up to me and she said that my book save her life, and I thought, I think our movie is gonna have an impact on people.

I know it is.

- Do you?
- I know it is.

It's so sweet.
I think I'm gonna puke.

I think it's wonderful that a man who's spent his entire life plundering wealth rich men now wants to change the world through art.

If you see Shane, tell her I left.

But I don't know your name.

- Ready to go?
- Yes.

I don't know what to do.
I already broke up with her.

Do it again, Phyllis.

Some lesbians you have to break up with more than once.

I just wanted to say goodnight.

- We're about to go on our honeymoon.
- Oh, good. I'm glad.

- Well, enjoy yourself.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- For everything.

You're very welcome.

Rack's outside with his wife.

- I want them to see us together.
- Gina, go to the kitchen and tell them we're out of champagne.

Pronto!

Meet me downstairs.
I have a surprise for you.

What is it?

You're just gonna have to come and find out.

Are you okay?

You're having a nightmare.

God! You were having a bad dream!
Alright?

You're okay?

You were defending someone, right?

Oh, baby, you were set up.
Did somebody frame you?

- Nobody framed me.
- I'm sure, whatever it was, you didn't mean to k*ll anyone.

I haven't k*lled anybody!

You didn't?

It was tax fraud.

- Are you Shane?
- What?

Mrs. Hasley asked me to give this to you right away.

It's this way.

Follow me.

It's incredible that he decided to finance your movie.

Yes. William is so grateful to be involved in the movie.

He thinks it's gonna redeem all these horrible things he's done for money.

Well, it totally will.
I mean, you were just so amazing for showing...

Oh, thank you.
I like him. He's a nice guy and you'll get to know him once you'd become my assistant.

- What?
- Would you like to be my assistant?

- Yes!
- Yes?!

Thank you so much!

You don't even know how much I wanna be your assistant.

- Do you?
- Yes!

How much I'm gonna work so hard for you. I will...

- You are not gonna be sorry.
- Oh my god! I'm so excited.

Yeah! Careful of the dress!

Drink?

Yeah.

I think I'd better.

Thank you.

So, Shane...

Yes, M'am?

Don't be coy with me, Shane.

I saw the way you looked at me when you followed me up the stairs.

- You did?
- Yes, I did.

And it made me horny.

I'm not crazy, am I, Shane?

- No, no, no, I don't think so.
- Good.

You know, Shane, I would tell you a little secret.

There's no lot I haven't experienced.

I can go anywhere I want, buy anything I want, and it's starting to wear a little bit thin.

- Mrs. Hasley...
- I want you to take me somewhere I've never been.

- I don't, I don't know if I could.
- Yeah, you could.

And you will.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, what is that?

- Mother!
- Shane!

Get away from her, you cow!
She's mine!

Yours?! Shane, tell them about us.

What?

Shane is a woman who can take you places she's never been before.

- Just wait until daddy finds out!
- Daddy will not find out!

You're too low for her!

Oh my god!
You can leave me!

- Wait!
- Wait!

- "Shattered" by The Trucks -

- Sorry, sorry! Excuse me!
- Shane!

- You're crazy! Shane!
- Shane!

Jenny!

Run, run! Drive!!!!
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