05x09 - Liquid heat

[bunniefuu]

The L Word - x - Liquid heat

It's a scorcher out there, folks. According to the National Weather Service, we won't get released from the triple-digit heat until sometime early next week. You boys are ready?

Okay, let's get that camera on set.

Did you load the T?

It gets against rules to make us work under this kind of heat.

- Try to stay hydrated.

- Yeah.

Thanks, buddy.

Water?

He has what?

- Uh, it's an Elmo.

- A what?

An Elmo tattoo.

What grown man gets Elmo tattooed on his ass?

How long is it gonna take to cover?

You know, in this heat, it's hard to get the makeup to ???

to his butt chicks.

- It's all running down his cr*ck.

- Oh, look.

Maybe the character would have an Elmo ass tattooed.

- And then we wont have to cover it.

- No.

- No.

- Alright.

Okay, here we go.

Let's lock it up.

And...

Roll sound, please.

, take .

Mark.

And...

action!

- What's going on?

- What?

- Come on!

- What is...

What the f*ck is this?

I think, I think we're having a power failure.

- What?

- sh*t!

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

- Back on, back on.

- Okay.

Okay.

Listen up, everybody.

So Cal Edison is doing the rolling blackouts again.

So let's sh**t while we can.

Let's have fun, all squeeze!

Alright, you heard her.

You want a blast?

Yeah, please.

Thank you.

Apparently this is earthquake weather.

Go ahead, bitch, bring it on.

- You're okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I'll get over it.

- Thank you.

- , take .

Mark.

And action.

Okay.

Cut, cut, cut.

Hey, you guys?

It's actually...

that's not...

That's not the scene.

Okay?

This is an obligatory f*ck.

You don't wanna f*ck him.

You don't like having sex with this guy, okay?

Okay, but...

I mean, he's been my boyfriend for like three years, right?

I mean, why would I hate having sex with him now?

- Yes.

That's what I was kinda thinking too.

- Thanks, Fallon, I got this.

'Cause you're in love with Karina, okay?

You probably don't like having sex with that guy.

Just because I like women doesn't mean I have to hate men.

I mean, come on, Jenny, is this a man-hating movie?

It's not a man-hating film, but the scene as written is about the experience of being force to have sex with this guy, when the night before, you've just had the most beautiful, mind-blowing sex.

With a woman.

Now this hairy guy is just pounding you, like unh unh unh...

What does that do?

It hurts.

You want to cry.

Is that okay with you?

- Yeah?

- Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Its that okay?

Thanks.

Thanks.

Alright, let's go now.

Very good then.

Let's lock it up, please.

- And roll sound.

- So to speak.

Thanks.

Shhh.

Settle, settle.

, take .

Mark.

Action.

Okay.

Cut, cut.

Okay, it looks like you love f*cking this guy.

You don't like f*cking him, okay?

Do you understand that?

Hang on a sec.

Look at me.

Did you f*ck him?

Can I have my uh...

Can we just...

lock it up?

Thanks.

Listen to me, okay?

Please.

I was drunk, it was after the party.

It meant nothing, okay?

It was a mistake.

I understand.

- You feel pressured.

- I mean, they're pressuring me, and they're making their scene in a heterosexual sex M.O.

now, and I swear to God, Jenny, I wish it was you and I'm so sorry, and I will never do it again.

Thanks.

Can I just, uh, a minute with him?

Thanks.

Hey, Fallon?

Can I just talk to you for a sec?

- Yeah, yeah.

What?

What is it?

- Hey.

I just wanted to talk to you about f*cking your co-star.

Do you realize how irresponsible

- and destructive that is?

- I didn't think it was...

It's unprofessional, okay?

You've tampered with the chemestry between the two of you.

It is a vile and despicable act.

Alright?

You're fired.

- What?

- Get outta here.

- With this f*cking black, I can't...

- Get the f*ck out of my set.

f*ck this sh*t!

So, I called Joey Manhohand, I said "Go ahead, take us to Court, 'cause you've got a final bust offer on the table.

And no judge in California is gonna let you walk away with anything, like we were stipulating.

You're gonna take one look at your client, and you're gonna say, "Put your socks, old man, go back to work.

- Stop wighting like a girl".

- Wighting like a girl.

Leonard always wighted like a girl.

- What did Joey say?

- He caved.

- Yes.

- Oh, it made him sweat like a pig.

Even more than I'm sweating right now in this blasted heat.

And we should have documents to sign tomorrow.

I'd love Molly to meet you.

She's having second thoughts about law school.

- She wants to take a semester off.

- I thought Molly was on Leonard's camp.

She's just so angry.

You would be such an inspiration for her.

If you and I were still...

I mean, if I

- hadn't been so foolish...

- Oh, you made your choice.

- I accepted it.

Didn't I?

- Yeah.

You gave me my space to run around like a crazy adolescent.

Okay, Phyllis.

I want you to listen to me.

It's understandable, given that we've just had this little triumph together, and given how smoldering hot the two of us were in the sack...

It's understandable that you might be feeling a tiny bit amorous towards me right now.

I'm just trying to stand by my convictions here, m'dear.

But you are making it awfully difficult in that sweet little slip of a frock.

Sweetie...

Joyce...

You're sitting on my shirt.

- What?

- You're sitting on my shirt.

Let it go.

This is it.

I had to fight some old snooty woman at the Bodega for the last of it, but I got it!

Yes!

This hot-ass earthquake weather, man, just makes people mean.

Just meeeean.

Hey Kit, are you going to that, uh,

- sit-down anything?

- I don't know.

You know, I don't trust 'em.

I do not trust those SheBar b*tches coming up in here with some ol' mobster crap.

I mean, let me read this to you: "We request your presence at a sit-down to mediate grievances and lesbo turf.

At the SheBar.

Lunch will be served".

Are these b*tches crazy?

Alright.

I know.

Oh, thanks.

And everyone got one of those.

Me too.

I met 'em once, when I was stoned.

Why do they want you to go?

No idea.

They must be workin' some angle.

Well, maybe you should come with me.

Protect me.

Just in case.

Well, you have to go to the sit-down, Kit.

For sure.

You know, hear what they have to say.

You know, negociation works sometimes, Kit.

Okay, alright.

But at the first sign of bullshit, I walk.

Listen to me, okay?

Stop!

Stop!

Alright!

You can't fire Greg.

You can't fire him!

Are you listenning to me?!

Do you know what the f*ck you're doing?!

It's William on the phone for you.

Jenny, you have to take this.

He's calling from Dubai.

Monsieur,

- you ???.

It's nothing.

- Give me a break.

Don't worry about it.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Fine?

She just fired the only male lead actor in our f*cking movie.

It's not fine, Adele.

I know.

Right now, he's telling her to march right back in, apologize to Greg and rehire him.

William?

And she'll listen to him?

Yeah.

I think Jenny will listen to him.

f*ck.

- Oh, my God...

- Excuse me.

I'm wandering if any of you have seen dumbshit actor boy around?

- No?

No one's seen him?

Adele?

- Yeah?

Could you, uh, find Mr.

Fallon for me?

- Yeah.

Sure.

- Thanks.

I can see that you're talking about me.

I can also see that you're talking about me.

So I just wanna say: "Yes, it's true!" I did loose my temper and now I'm on my way to apologize to Mr.

Fallon and I have made a mistake and the dumbshit actor boy is no longer fired.

Okay?

Everybody, go back to work.

Now.

Go!

Jesus!

I can't wait to get these f*cking clothes off.

You have to do it.

It's so hot.

Hello?

Hey.

Do you have power at CU?

I'm at home, actually.

It was just, it was unbearably hot at school.

I mean, it's ten degrees hotter downtown.

I think we have to sh*t down production.

These rolling blackouts are costing us a fortune.

???

tens of classes. Are you gonna go to this, this SheBar gathering thing?

I think I have to go.

Kit really wants me to be there.

Oh.

Well, maybe I won't go, then. What, you think we can't be in the same room together?

I think it would be hard.

Yeah, I know.

It's hard for me too.

Can you hold on a second?

I'm just gonna pull you on speaker.

Sure. So, are we, are we still on - for Dan tonight?

- Yes, six o'clock. Hopefully it'll be a lot cooler by then.[/i] Although it wasn't last night.

How's Angelina?

Oh my God! They need you on set two. Okay.

I know that already.

Thanks.

I'll be there.

She was so cute, Bette.

I had to explain to her why we couldn't turn on the air conditionner during theses rolling blackouts. So she went to play group, and she made this little fan that she brought at home and then we took turns fanning ourselves.

You know, you guys could come down here and use the pool.

Beside, I've gotta get off.

Okay.

I see you tonight.

Who was it?

It was Tina.

We're having some parenting disagreements.

So, we're gonna go see the therapist together tonight.

Good for you.

I just, uh, I wanted to come tell you that we're gonna sh*t down for the day.

That's costing us way too much money.

Yeah, I figured.

Do you wanna maybe go out to dinner one night this week?

You know, I don't think so.

- Okay.

- Tina, I think you're great.

You know that.

I think you're great too, Sam.

But that dinner party was awkward and uncomfortable and...

I just think I'm gonna take a step back until you and Bette resolve your stuff.

- Is it that obvious?

- Yeah.

sh*t.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think anybody else noticed.

I'm sorry, Sam.

It's cool.

We're trying to resolve it.

We're actually, we're seeing a therapist together, to try to understand, you know.

- I hope it'll help.

- It's crazy!

Neither one of us ever thought that anything like this would ever, you know, it's...

I mean, it's really over.

- So over.

- Apparently not.

I do feel for Jodi, though.

She is a terrific girl.

Yeah.

She's, she's nice.

- Niki, come on!

- She left as soon as we called her out.

What?

She's gone.

What?

It just feels good.

I'm almost dry.

I'll make you wet again.

Don't.

Please.

It's really too f*cking hot.

No, that's not it.

Really.

It's just so hot.

Please.

Bullshit.

What's going on?

I'm in love with Tina.

What?

Did you say something?

I'm unhappy.

Unhappy how?

I'm unhappy...

with...

I'm unhappy with work and I just don't want to burden you with it.

I want you back.

Your mind, and your heart, and your body.

I miss you.

You know, Jenny, you can go home and get some rest.

Will you please put this in an envelope?

- Yeah.

- And give it to Niki?

Of course.

It's a love letter.

Will you read it and tell me if it sucks?

Come here!

Can you tell her to meet me here tonight?

I'll tell her.

Thanks.

How are you?

Wipe those tears.

Are you okay?

Well, are you gonna come with me to that big, dumb mafia sit-down at SheBar?

- No.

- Why not?

I'm gonna sit right there and I'm gonna wait for Niki.

No, you're not.

- Why?

- 'Cause that's weak.

- But I am weak.

- No, you're not!

You're not weak.

You're the boss of this place.

You could fire everybody here if you wanted to.

That's not true.

What would you do?

Would you go out and f*ck someone?

Probably.

I'd go out and have meaningless sex with somebody I didn't care about.

Come on, come with me to SheBar.

No.

I don't want to have sex with anybody but Niki.

Well, look, I have a straight-girl crush that, that will not go away, so...

Pull them right there.

I need to see your invitations.

Are you f*cking serious?

Get off of me!

Spread them, sweetheart.

You could have at least asked me out to dinner.

- Ah, stop!

- ???

Right this way.

God!

This is f*cking crazy.

I know, it's total "four families", isn't it?

It's Cuban!

Hello, ladies.

- So glad you all could make it.

- So, double D, what's the...

Is this...

is this her?

What's the deal with this to-do, huh?

Well, I thought we should all get together, clear the air, I mean, of the recent hostilities.

It really pains to see what could have been a bountiful friendship reduced to bad feelings and acrimony.

Bountiful friendship?

You came into town

- and you pissed all over every one of us!

- No, on the contrary,

- it was you who abused us.

- What?!

Yeah.

Cindi and I came to your fair city, wanting to settle down, and open up a nice little lesbian hangout.

And then we cordially invite Shane here to share a little sex amongst friends.

And then what does she do?

She breaks that trust by seducing my girlfriend.

Denbo, you need to start singing a new song, 'cause, firstable, I did not seduce her.

And secondly, you told me it was okay.

- No, she didn't.

- Oh, yeah.

She did.

Shut it.

You know, I got an idea.

What if you kept your mouth shut for two seconds

- and you actually let your girlfriend talk?

- Because she's got nothing to say.

- Go f*ck yourself.

- See, I thought that was somethin'.

As I was saying, I understandably reacted, because in Miami, that sh*t doesn't fly.

And then insults were traded, and one of you, I'm not mentionning any names, called the police on our establishment.

You infested The Planet with rats.

Just because you have a health problem with your establishment does not give you the right to trying close someone else's business down.

You actually tried to shut down my film.

You did not have permits for that neighbourhood.

- You are bothering my friends with children.

- This is bullshit, Kit.

Why're you even talking to these jokers?

I'm sorry.

I don't think I know you.

- Tasha.

- It's actually Captain Tasha Williams.

And she's here to kick some ass and take names if necessary.

That is so awesome.

- Really, Cindi?

- What?

- What?!

It's impressive.

- You know, Tasha's got a point here.

I really shouldn't sit here and listen to all this bullshit.

- I should just kick your motherfuckin' ass.

- Oh, be careful what you're saying next, Miss Porter.

I'm trying to be civil here in the interest of both our businesses.

But if you want this to escalade, we can do that too.

- Oh, what you think you've been doing?

- Alright.

Come on, come on.

- It's supposed to be a peace summit.

- You're never gonna get a peace summit because you can never believe a single thing that comes out of this assh*le's mouth.

- What did you just f*cking...?

- Thank you, thank you.

Enough!

What do you want, Denbo?

What do I want, what do I want...

- Turf.

- Turf.

And divide up the town.

You can have wednesdays and saturdays, and we'll take fridays and sundays.

Kit wants mondays too.

Kit wants mondays, Kit wants mondays...

Fine.

But we get superbowl weekend.

- Fine.

- Hey!

- No poatching customers.

- It goes both ways.

Now, the question of restitution.

- A restitution?!

You...

- A restitution...

For emotional hardship.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- No.

My honor was maligned, and that of my lover Cindi's.

And how do you propose that we restore this lost honor?

We want parts in your movie.

My mov...

- No way.

- I don't want a f*cking part in your movie.

- Just Cindi.

- Why would I give

- your lover Cindi a part in my film?

- Because she's g*dd*mn gorgeous.

Look at her.

Why wouldn't you give her a part in your movie?

Well, I think she has a face like an extra.

So you can be an extra on my movie.

No, no, no, no.

She has to have a line.

Something plugging SheBar.

Absolutely not.

No f*cking way.

That's really too bad.

I wouldn't want another production mishap to befall your little sh**t.

You know, I have a brother Jo, he's near engineer in the Team...

Go f*ck yourself.

Now, why would I do that when I can f*ck you.

You are so tacky.

I think she's psychotic.

What do I do?

Give her a small part.

I thought about it and you, Cindi, can play the role of -

party girl number .

- Thank you.

Well, I think our business is done here.

We're not finished.

You'd better be soon.

We want a sh*t out to the SheBar on "The Look".

f*ck no, Denbo!

A mention on "The Look" is worth millions in advertising.

Millions, millions...

that's about right.

Yeah.

There is no way I'm promoting SheBar and I'm not promoting The Planet.

You're not?

Well, I think we're done here.

Cindi.

Bette!

Podcast.

Alice will give a mention to SheBar and The Planet, but not on "The Look".

She'll mention both of them on a podcast.

Okay.

Podcast it is.

What do you say, Kit?

Deal?

What do we know that you'll keep your word?

My word's all I've got.

You're just gonna have to trust me.

Did you decorate this in the 's?

Come on you guys.

- Thanks.

I'll see you sometime.

- Bye, Shane.

You should be waiting for our call time.

Are you sure you still wanna do this, Alice?

'Cause it's so hot in here.

I thought they had air-conditionning.

Yeah, I'm right.

I mean, if you are, I'm ready.

- "Love For Life" by Standfast -

I'm so happy to be out of there.

I didn't think we were gonna get outta here alive, did you?

No, I didn't.

I didn't even wanna go in the first place.

So, is that thing ready for me?

Yeah.

You just have to press the red button.

- Red button.

- Yeah, the little red button.

- Okay.

- Give me a signal.

A signal.

A signal?

How's that for signal?

Good?

So...

Hi there.

I'm Alice Pieszecki and this is "Alice in Lesboland" and today I have my collegue Max Sweeney with me.

Hi, everybody.

As some of you may know, Max is sort of our behind the scenes techy guy on OurChart, and, uh, he recently, uh, did a blog about being a trans-guy and it kinda pissed some of you off and I said some things that weren't so cool, apparently, and I just wanted to apologize publically to Max.

So, I'm sorry, Max.

Actually, um, you said that I wasn't part of your community.

Which is...

it's more than just kind of uncool.

- Wouldn't you say?

- Yeah, I would, yes.

And I'm very sorry.

After I said that, I heard from one of our guestbian blogger, Kate Kendell, who's also the director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and she told me that I sucked and was full of sh*t for the same reasons.

So,

- I am sorry.

- Thanks, Kate.

Well, I guess I just kinda figured that you'd understand the importance of inclusion.

Of course I do.

I just think they're really different.

I think being bisexual is just more natural and I think that trans, sort of, it's a little hard for people to swallow it.

I think they're very different.

Well, the main argument against h*m* is it's not natural.

And that it's not what real men and women do.

Right?

And I mean, if you're gonna talk about sexism and h*m* and reproductive rights, and all the other stuff I heard you talking about last week on "The Look", then, I mean, you've gotta accept this, you've gotta stop marginalizing the transgendre, sisters and brothers.

I hear you.

So, again, I am sorry.

Here you go.

Wait.

I thought Jodi liked chalatte.

Oh, it's for Tina.

We're going to a therapy session together.

Just to talk about Angie.

Now I know you're bullshit me, because ain't nothing wrong with baby girl.

We're gonna talk about parenting.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Bette...

f*ck!

Come back here.

- Don't you dare.

- Don't I dare do what?

Don't you dare do that to Jodi!

I'm not trying to do anything to anyone.

Well, you just better be careful.

That's why were going to see a therapist.

- Please don't say anything.

- To who?

I dunno.

Working on OurChart's been totally awesome, actually.

- You're way a better boss than the last one.

- Oh, good.

You have been kind a trans for the ???

or whatever.

Yeah.

You know.

- Thanks.

- I mean, he tried to set me up with his daughter, right, and I'm not outta work, so they don't know that I'm not a vile guy.

- Hi.

- Hi.

This is Richard, Shane.

- Richard, nice to meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Good stuff.

- Yeah, you pro the big oil business, aren't you?

I told her about your internship with ???

Peterson, which he quit, because he decided it was immoral and after I told him, we're breaking up because he was an environmental criminal.

- Hi.

- Hi!

I'm sorry.

- Podcast, yeah.

- Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

This is Molly.

This is Phyllis' daughter.

I'm familiar with Phyllis.

- Yeah.

- Hey, I'm Max.

- How is it going?

- Good.

Listen, Richard, welcome to ???

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

You know that Jenny gave away a part in your movie, by the way.

To that girl,

- Cindi.

Cindi, the lover Cindi.

- I can't believe

- Jenny gave a part in the movie to Cindi.

- Yeah.

Crazy week.

Can you hold on one second?

Yeah, that's all your production needs.

So, how much money you're tend to lose when you have to shut down production for the day?

Well, it depends if the crew is already on, you know, that can suck, and then if the crew's not on then it depends on how many locations we have secured and...

You've got to be f*cking kidding me.

Jesus.

What were we thinking?!

God damn!

They said the rolling blackouts were over.

- Oh sh*t.

- What the f*ck is that?!

- f*ck!

I can't get a signal.

- Oh god!

sh*t!

I don't like this.

I don't like it.

It's gonna get really f*cking hot here in about two seconds.

I cannot take the heat.

I'm gonna have a panic att*ck.

I know I am.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Deep breath.

I don't wanna breathe too deep.

I'll take up all the oxygen.

It's gonna be fine.

Jesus, it is f*cking hot in this city of yours.

Hey!

Where have you been?

I got a show.

I've been painting like a maniac.

Really?

I didn't even know you were an artist.

Yeah.

Not a big rich artist like Jodi,

- which is why I interprete for her.

- To pay the bills, right.

Exactly.

- So where's your girlfriend?

- If you mean Grace, she's in San Fransisco.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

It's really nice to see you.

Good, because I've actually been thinking about you.

Yeah?

Which is why I haven't come around because it's kinda freaking me out.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get it.

It's cool.

Would you sit with me for a minute?

I was actually thinking maybe you'd like to go out sometime.

Well, you mean like on a date?

Yeah, like a date.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe tonight?

Alright.

Yeah.

- "Private Number" by William Bell (feat. Judy Clay) -

What are you doing?

I'm feeling what P.M.

feels like.

I'm never home by P.M.

I'm usually stuck on the ???

I have nothing that I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Do you think that Danny might know we're in here?

I'm sure he's doing everything he can.

What do you think he would say of us right now?

If we were on session with him?

He would probably ask what each of us wants.

And we would say: "We don't know".

And he would ask: What are you afraid of, Tina?

f*cking it all up.

What else are you afraid of, Tina?

I'm afraid of, um...

what everyone will think of us, how they'll judge us, how hurt Jodi will be.

She already knows there's something wrong.

- Did you tell her about us?

- God, no.

I've been such a f*cking coward.

And, you know, it's not like we really...

I don't know, it was never just...

easy like...

What do you mean "never easy"?

Well, we don't share the same values Jodi and I.

Do you think we share the same values?

Of course I do!

I mean, I think that's why we were able to parent together when things were the most acrimonous between us.

I mean, it's so f*cking rare, Tina.

We both care about the quality of life, you know, and I like the choices you make, and the things that you surround yourself with.

I mean, this attention to beauty...

I think that's important.

And I'm comfortable with, you know, the people of your world, and I think you're comfortable with the people of mine.

We like the same people.

And we dislike the same people.

We'd both rather stay in on New Year's Eve.

Yes, Dan.

What is it that you're afraid of?

I'm afraid that I'm...

destructive.

That if I have something good, I feel compelled to destroy it.

Look, I'm not so pure and innocent, okay?

I was awful when I was with Henry.

I was flailing.

Look how I treated you.

I used Angelica against you.

I was - despicable.

- I love you.

I love you.

I have no doubt about that.

I'm just afraid that...

That everything you're feeling right now is because...

we're not really together.

It's an affair.

- No.

- But it is.

For me, when I really search myself, it doesn't feel like an affair.

For me, it feels like I'm coming home.

- "Emergency" by The Sweet Inspirations -

Jen, we have to get outta here now.

I don't want to.

I just wanna stick around

- probably a little bit more.

- It's too hot.

It's way too hot.

I know, but I just wanna wait.

Perfect.

- Hello?

- Hey.[/i] I'm here in the house all by myself and the lights keep going on and off and it's really f*cking scary.

Give me a f*cking break.

You're not scared.

Shut up.

Just come over.

Where's Richard?

I don't know, probably on a plane back to Ramon. After his lame ass effort to get me back,

- I sent him home.

- Oh yeah?

How was that?

He knows I'm a stucker for a romantic gesture, so he got a fly away across the country and then, when he got here, he was this lock-jawed, tight-assed ever.

Well, the lights went out. Oh, f*cking sh*t!

Again?!

Can you please, please come over?

Please...

Hello?

Come in.

Oh my God!

This is the most beautiful letter than anyone has ever written to me and it completely reminded me of why I want to be in this movie and how I am so into you and I just love you so.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

f*ck!

I didn't, I didn't...

I don't know what happened.

I didn't...

- It's okay.

- You need to go to the production office.

I thought that's where you were gonna meet her.

She's gonna be so f*cking mad.

Look, she doesn't have to know, okay?

- What?

- Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna tell her unless you are.

You look a lot like her in the dark.

And it's weird, because you kind of even look like her right now.

She really loves you, you know?

I know.

I love her too.

I'll see you later, Adele.

- Thanks for coming.

- Yeah, of course.

- Sorry about earlier.

Thanks.

- Sure.

- I was really scared.

- Oh, no.

I get it.

It

- was crazy driving over here, so...

- No.

Not scared of the dark.

Scared because I wanna f*ck you.

Wine?

I've got a red french bourgogne here, unless you prefer...

- No, no, I like it.

- Okay, good, good, good.

I've never done this before.

I mean, I kissed a girl that one time in Girl Scouts, but it was just that one time thing, and it was "Truth or Dare" and it never happened again.

Molly, we don't have to do anything, you know.

We can just hang out in the dark.

It's okay.

But I think you're really sexy.

Yeah.

That's good, um...

I think you're,

- I think you are too.

- Richard thinks I'm olddly proportion.

- Richard's a tool.

- I know.

We went to Nantucket last summer, and I caught him jerking off to internet p*rn when I wasn't looking.

How gross is that, right?

Yeah.

He says he loves me but he's totally full of sh*t.

More?

- Why are we ???

Richard still?

- You're right.

f*ck Richard.

Let's go upstairs.

Can you grab the candle?

Yeah.

f*ck that guy.

I'm not gonna marry Richard.

I told him that today.

'Cause what's marriage anyway?

It's an ill-conceived antiquated institution created by people who did not expect to live past .

- Did you know that?

- No.

I took a gender study class and did you know that in medieval Europe, the wedding ring was the symbol of ownership?

Seriously.

It was a down paiment on the bride sale.

- Can you believe that sh*t?

- Wow!

No.

I know, right?

It's f*cked up.

I'm sorry.

I'm talking too much.

I'll stop talking.

I tend to do that when I'm nervous.

- "Let Da Music" by Quiero Club -

Thanks for diner.

Sure.

Can I kiss you?

Yeah.

Most improves.

Gotta start somewhere.

Nice room.

We don't have to do this, you know.

- We don't have to.

- I know, we don't have to.

Weird.

- What?

What?

- Boobs.

No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm an idiot.

- Jenny...

- Hi.

- Oh my God!

- You came!

That was the most amazing letter that anyone has ever written to me.

And it made me realize why I wanted to do this film.

What?

What?

- Jenny, I love you so much.

- I love you so much.

- I'm so sorry.

- And I'm so sorry.

I love you, I love you!

- "Swimming Pool" by Freezepop -

- What?

- You really are like a guy.

A really sexy guy.

Except you are softer.

- Guess what?

- What?

I'm not a guy.

Surprise!

You're wet.

What did you expect?

I don't know.

Not that.

I don't know if you're ready for this.

I'm ready for this.

Am I doing right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're doing perfect.

- What's that look?

- What?

What are you doing?

What are you talking about?

I'm not doing anything.

Really...

It's hot in here, isn't it?

It's getting hotter.

Well, that maybe can cool you off.

Yeah!

Let's take this off.

It feels good.

How are you gonna f*ck me?

That was amazing!

Of course it was amazing 'cause you're a girl and you know how to do that.

What are you doing?

I don't really think I'm ready for this yet.

I don't think I know how.

I'm sorry.

I will show one more time.

f*ck!

Oh God...

We'll take it slowly.

Well, how are you going to tell her?

Are you gonna tell her it's because of us?

No.

But if it's okay with you, I don't want to tell her before the ride.

You know, the Pink Ride.

I love you.

I love you too.

- Hi, Dan.

- The poor, poor things.

There's nothing we could do.

Are you okay?

- We're fine.

- Anybody traumatized?

I think we actually clarified some things for ourselves.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You're not even a lesbian.

Neither were you a year ago.

When I left you this afternoon, you were with Richard.

- This is beneath you.

- What, because Shane's never read Proust, she's beneath me?

She's never even heard of Proust.

Who cares if she's heard of Proust?

I'm so sick of you judging everyone I know.

So Shane's not gonna win a MacArthur genius grant anytime soon.

It's really nice for once to be with someone who's a little bit uneducated.

- She probably went to community college.

- Who cares if she went to community college!

Who cares if she even graduated from high school!

I don't like Shane for her political views.

I like Shane because she's easy and simple.

And maybe she's not the smartest person in the world, but at least she's not f*cking Richard.

See how long this lasts.