05x10 - Lifecycle

[bunniefuu]

The L Word - x - Lifecycle


My mother faced her illness with courage, but was still unabled to defeat it.

Unfortunately, her story is all too familiar.

Especially to so many who are here.

So today, we ride in honor of our friends and loved ones who have succomb to breast cancer, and our friends and loved ones who are survivors.

And by being here today, you are not only helping to raise awareness, but you're helping in the quest to find a cure.

You're helping to save lives.

Now, get out there and have an amazing ride!

Welcome to the Subaru Pink Ride!

I am kicking your ass.

- Oh, please.
- What?!

You think I can't take you?

- Uh, no.
- Oh, great!

- Hey, it's Tasha!
- Hey, what's going on?

- Hey, how are you?
- Hey, what's going on?

Hey, Alice, this is T. and this is Nicole.

Papi and I used to play, uh we used to play basketball with them

- before I went to the service.
- Hey, Coco Girls put together a team.

- Yeah?
- Who's that? Who's Coco?

Oh, it's a gay club downtown.

Really?

I thought I knew all the lezzy clubs.
I guess not.

It's mostly black.
It's kind of a different thing.

- It's good to see you, Tash.
- Oh yeah, you too.

Coco Girls can give you a run for your money.

No doubt.

- You can come party with us later. Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll come and find you, guys.

- Alright. See you.
- Alright.

Was she uh...
was she flirtin' with you?

- Maybe. A little bit.
- A little bit? A little bit. I thought so.

- Jealous?
- No.

... the win's sitting at
. million dollars!

What the f*ck?!

- Hi, Tina.
- Niki, what are you doing here?

I'm raising awareness for breast cancer.
Do you know that in ten, we're going die...

You are supposed to be in L.A. doing the cover for Rolling Stones magazine.

Tina, it's fine.
Adele rescheduled it.

- Oh, you rescheduled it.
- Yeah, Jenny asked me to.

- But don't worry. Mario, the photographer...
- I know who Mario is.

- Mario was hot for Adele.
- No, he's not.

Yeah, yeah. Jenny made Adele hot and now Mario is totally hot for her.

- Nobody's hot.
- He's totally in love with you, Adele.

- Adele, are you gay?
- Shut up! Okay?

Whatever. Fine.
It would have been good for "Lez Girls"

if you had done it, alright?

But you guys are not supposed to be seen together. Okay?

I promised your managers.

- You can get me fired.
- Tina, it's not like we're gonna be having sex on the side of the road.

Here. Look. I'll put these on and no one will recognize me.

- Excuse me.
- Right?

- Are you Niki Stevens?
- Yeah.

I quit. I f*cking quit.

Bringing in awareness around the glob,

- to breast cancer!
- Grab your hands, that's a good one.

- Alright. Hey! Here.
- What?

Why are you here?

Well I had this great pink shirt that said Subaru already,

- so I figured I just...
- Molly, go home.

It's a free country.
I can support boobs if I want to.

Go boobs!

See?

So you, you flew all the way up here?

She flew all the way up here to keep fighting with you, girl.

That's true love! That's true love.

Okay, I know it's probably stalking, but if you would listen to me...

Molly, I don't wanna listen to you.

I really don't.

I'm the uneducated one, remember?

Isn't that what you said to your mom?
I'm uneducated. No, no. Listen to me.

I think those were your exact words, right? No, they were!

I don't wanna be your f*cking loser f*ck buddy. I really don't.

I don't want you to pity me, I don't want you to save me.

I don't wanna be your teacher in the gay world. I don't wanna any of it.

- So just, just go home.
- ,

- "To Die in L.A." by West Indian Girl -

I need to tell you something.

What?

You look really great in those pants.

f*ck you...

f*ck you!

Yeah?

I don't want Jodi to know about us.

She's gonna find out eventually.

No, I mean, I don't want her to know that we were fooling around behind her back.

I mean, it's okay if she thinks we talked about it, but I don't want her to think we acted on it, you know, before the two of you broke up.

I don't want anybody to know.

Except for Kit.

Yeah, nobody needs to know, Tina.

She, she doesn't need to know.

Well,

to your left.

Come on, Tasha.

Hurry up!
Come on, come on, come on!

- Come on.
- Let's roll. Hurry up!

It's a ride. Not a race.

Come on!

Alright, just go ahead.

How long do you think it will last for?

I have no idea, but I am not dressed for this weather.

We love you, Niki!

Does that ever bother you?

No, much of the time, it's funny.

So how long have you and Jenny been friends for?

Two years.

Where did you guys meet?

Bette and Tina had a party two years ago.

That's when Jenny first moved to L.A.

Oh, yeah, yeah. We sh*t that scene.

- Yes, we did.
- Yes.

So, did you guys ever hook up?

- Me and Jenny?!
- Yeah.

f*ck no!

Why not? My friends are always sleeping out with each other. So...

No, not in this case.

- Well, you know, she's really beautiful...
- Yes, she is.

...and you're not so bad yourself.
So, I'm surprised.

Well, I figure that just because you can, it doesn't mean you should.

- Hey! Where have you been?
- f*ck!

I f*cked my p*ssy.

It's so numb.

- Hi.
- Listen.

- What?
- Can you please do something about the stalker?

- I don't have to do anything about my stalker.
- Yes, you do.

- No.
- 'Cause she's been following you around for miles.

Yeah, well that means I have to go.

- You guys come with?
- No.

- "Sofia" by West Indian Girl -

I race you.

- What?
- Next pit stop.

If I win, you have to listen.
If you win, I go home.

Alright. Go, go!

sh*t!

I'm sorry!

Just give me another chance!
Please!

I'm sorry! Come on!

Come on...

No!

- I love you!
- What?!

Whoa, wait.

- I won.
- No, no, no, no.

Wait, you're in love with me?

No. I just said that so you would stop.

You cheated.

Ow! So what, I still won.

Oh, my ass is k*lling me.

Okay, I know I'm a disaster, but you have to listen to me because that was the bet.

- Make it fast.
- I don't know if I'm gay,

I don't know if I'm straight, but I know that I want to be with you.

- We had terrible sex.
- No, it was great for me!

You don't just get on a bike and know how to ride it.

Same with riding a girl.

So I freaked out. Big deal.

You've just been with so many girls that you don't remember your first time.

Well, guess what, it was my first time.

And it was great!

It was better than with Richard, and with guys, and with anybody!
And I'm really into you!

And I swear, next time, I will so go down on you!

Molly, Molly, you're making a scene.
Please.

Seriously, why do you want to be with me?

Think about it.
Because you've been using me

- to get back at your mother the whole time.
- I haven't.

I haven't been using you.

I've never flown to the Pacific Northwest to chase a girl I barely know.

And I'm here and I'm really crazy about you.

And I need you to give me another chance even if I'm awful in bed.

I know I'm still Gay , but I'm a really fast learner and before you know it, I'm gonna be Advanced Placement Gay, and then Graduate Level Gay, and f*ck law school, I'll get my Doctorate in f*cking Gay!

Are you going to stop talking?

- Yes.
- Promise me?

No more pink, though.

Oh ladies, look at this.

So many. there are so many.

We love you Dana, and we miss you every day.

You're in our hearts, Dana.

- "Great Escape" by Moby feat. Azure Ray -

I wish Angie was with with us today.

She would love this.

Yeah, she would.

- "To the Stars" by Erin McKeown -

Is there like a hotel or something we could check into?

Alright, girl, I'd rent a car so we can drive the rest of the day.

Where have you been?

- I've been here for like two hours already.
- What?!

- ???
- What you've been doing?

I've been waiting.

- With T. and Nicole.
- Oh yeah?

- No.
- No.

- Good.
- We were just talking about old times.

They want us to hang out with them later if you want to.

I think you'd really like them.

I kinda like to hang out with who I came with.

You know, I wouldn't feel right about leaving.

- But you should, if you want.
- No, it's cool.

We can just catch up with them later, in L.A.

- Can you lift it?
- Yeah, lift, like this.

Okay, I'll hold it.
You're ready?

Oh my God! Look at this!

- This is so f*cking unbelievable.
- I love it.

- Hi guys.
- Merci, merci, merci.

- I thought you might want your provacy.
- What the f*ck is this, the Taj Majal?

Hey, Tina. No, I had production make a product placement deal with North Face.

The only thing that we need to do is just taking a picture of Niki in front of the tent. Hey, Niki?

- Yeah?
- Hi.

- Will you pose for me?
- Yeah.

Okay. ,

Beautiful.

- No, this goes in here.
- Yeah, I know.

It says: "You put tab B into slot J".

- But you're doing it wrong.
- Look, I'm not an idiot.

I can just f*cking follow some simple instructions.

Wait, look. I would appreciate if you wouldn't second guess me.

- Adele?
- Yeah?

You mind just closing the curtains for us, please?

Sure.

What kind of bullshit tent is this?

It was on sale at Costco.

And you expect me to have Advanced Placement lesbian sex

- in this shitty runt tent?
- Yeah, I do.

What the hell is that?!
Is that Jenny's tent?

I think so.

My God, it looks like a condo.

I don't think she got that on sale at Costco.

Come on.

- Oh sh*t!
- Oh my God, oh my God.

Adele! We're being k*lled!

Thank you. It's, it's so hard to do this by yourself.

I'm using to putting things together.

Yeah, but Bette wouldn't let me help her.

Yeah. She's kind of uh...

OCD.

Was she moody with you?

Yeah. Sometimes she can be moody.

Something's going on with her, but I don't know what it is.

- Is Angelica okay?
- Yeah. She's, she's fine.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

Oh you faked this up?

God, do you ever stop working?

No, not really.

So, what's your deal.
Are you gay or what? C'mon.

That depends.

Depends on what?

- It depends on who's asking.
- I'm asking.

Are you seeing anyone?

I'm single.

This is great! We should set you up.

'Cause, that's what these rides are for, I mean, curing cancer and one night stands.
Totally.

No, I think that uh..

I prefer just to stay focused on my work.

Come on, it's boring.

Okay, all right.

Okay. There's somebody that I have my eye on.

Who?

It's a secret.

- Yeah.
- Okay, I'm being summoned.

I sure hope you know what you're doing.

I have it completely under control.
Don't worry about it.

Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, baby girl.

You mind if I come in?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.

So, you talked to Molly.

Yeah.

What can I say, I'm a sucker for a pretty face.

- Here I thought you were hard to get.
- I'm not hard to get.

Hmm, not hard to get, just hard to keep.

I'm glad you and Jenny worked it all out.

Me too. I totally love her.

We made a campfire.

What you're thinking about?

I was just, uh, I was just thinking about how crazy it is to

- see old friends, you know?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It hears like a long life time ago.

Then, it was all about the m*llitary.

And now, I don't know what the hell it's about.

You just need to give yourself time to adjust, you know?

Figure things out.

Okay. What do you want to happen?

With what? When?

Like, in the future. I mean, do you want kids?

Do you want to stay in L.A.? I mean, what would be your ultimate career?

God, um...

- Just questions.
- Just little questions.

I, I guess...

I guess I want kids. Eventually.
But not now, I don't think.

And, you know, I'm really excited about this TV show, if I get the job. I really like it up there, you know? It's exciting.

Yeah.

Why, what do you want?

I want to be with you.

Let's move in together.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, let's do it! Why not?
You're so serious...

This is serious stuff.

Don't you think?

I'm not leaving you alone in the tent anymore!

We're supposed to be making s'mores.

I just don't like being...

Are you hungry, doll?

Yeah.

Yeah?

You wanna go?

- Somewhere else? Yeah, I do.
- I wanna go. Yeah, let's go.

You wanna eat that?

No, thank you.

It's not gonna hurt.

That's so cool!

There's too much chocolate!

Oh man... Are you serious?

I bribed the side-driver to give us a little privacy.

'Cause your rent tent sucks.

- Hey, hey, hey, I tried.
- I know.

It just didn't go very well.

Not hard enough, obviously.

Is that good?

Yeah.

Any hot tips?

Breathe through your mouth.

- Really?
- Really.

Here it is.

You bought me a present?

I'm gonna document this moment.

Okay. Here we go.

It's a present for both of us.

What do you think?

That's not the reaction I wanted to elicit.

- Jenny, it's a purple penis.
- Yeah!

What am I supposed to do with this?
I'm not a dude.

It's fun!

- Have you ever used...
- I know that's a fake d*ck!

- Jenny, I know, I mean...
- I know, but what's that?

You're gonna strap me in this fabulous western harnest?

Listen,

- do you like to f*ck me?
- A lot.

So, you're just gonna f*ck me with that.

Okay then.

- Give me the camera back. I'm directing.
- What?!

- Yep.
- I'm scared about your idea.

Really?

- I'm going to make a movie.
- You are?

This is my stage.

- What do you want me to do?
- I want you first

to take off your pants.

Spank you!

- Now, it's so bad of you.
- Do you think that is?

Actually, that's not gonna get you the job, so you're gonna take... Oh, that's much better.

- You like that?
- I do. Now, take off the bra.

- "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure -

You're so beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Think about to stilettos, my love.

Oh yes. The stilettos on!

f*ck!

Yes!

Am I professional here?

There we go. Now, you look like a director.

Now, I'm in the business, young lady.

Take off your pants. That's the only way you're going to get your actors to listen to you.

Now, we go back to acting.
Give me this.

You ???

Now,

I have something for you.

Just...

Here you go.

I feel like I'm about to get you up.

Lub!

- No, no, Jenny!
- What?

Don't!

What?!

Now...

I think it's hard.

Come here.

I feel like I have a ???

I love you.

I love you so much.

I wanna f*ck you.

How are you gonna f*ck me?

- Like a man.
- Hard?

- So put yourself inside of me.
- Okay.

You can tell me where I need to be ok?

- Okay.
- Thank you. Can't feel what I'm doing!

- You'll go with that.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

??? you, ???
if you are still wet.

I mean, I'm still wet.

- Harder.
- Harder.

Yeah.

I love you f*cking me.

I love you.

I give you an A+.

Thank you.

Will you come visit me when I go back to school?

Maybe.

I don't like the cold, though.

I'll keep you warm.

So what is it? What kinda law is that that you study?

I wanna be a public defender.

It's not glamourous, the money sucks, but

I think the only way to really affect change is person to person.

So you wanna defend the little guy?

Somebody has to.

I would never expect that from you.

I'm full of surprises.

I bet you are.

- "Skin To Skin" by Standfast -

Oh, f*ck!

What do you want me to do?

I don't want you to come yet.

I want you to come here!

That was fun.

- Ghost story?
- Ghost story.

- Ghost story.
- I know one.

Okay. There was this guy, he's, he's a regular guy.

He's a banker, or maybe he's an add guy.

Doesn't matter. Forget it.
He's stressed out. That's the important thing.

So he decides to get a cabin in the woods

- by himself for the weekend.
- Why do white people always do that?

Especially when they know some crazy spooky sh*t is gonna happen to them.

Okay. So he, um, he packs his SUV, he brings things for work, like, work stuff and then he brings books and he brings his dog, a golden retriever, and he starts driving up to the mountains.

When he's driving, he hears on the radio that an inmate has escaped

- from a local insane asylum.
- That's bullshit.

You are not telling a homicidal-maniac-escapes- from-the-insane-asylum story.

- You're not.
- Just wait for it. Just wait.

So he hears this news, he doesn't care.

Whatever. He just wants to go relax.

He has a fantastic day at the cabin, there are also such adventurous things.

And at night he's exhausted.

So he passes out on the couch.
He's reading a book, He's gone.

In the middle of the night, he wakes up.

He hears this really weird sound, just like,

"drip",

"drip",

"drip".

He's too tired to get up and see what it is.

So, he calls his dog over, his dog leaks his hand, he feels better, he feels comfort and he falls back to sleep.

A couple of hours later, he hears the same sound.
He wakes up and is like, there is the dripping.

Again. "Drip".

But he's still way too tired to get up.

The dog comes over, he leaks his hand, he feels better, falls back asleep.

And that's morning, the sun comes up.

It's very bright in the room.
He looks over, he sees a giant pull of blood.

He starts screaming, he looks up, his dog, the golden retriever, is empaled by the chandelier, hanging from above.

The blood is gushing down, dripping.

There's the "drip" sound.

He looks over, and there's a little note.

Fix it up, it's written in blood.

And he reads: "People can leak too".

You know it's good.

- 'Cause everybody knows.
- It's good.

It's true. No, it's actually a true story. My grandmother told us that story.

No, it's not.

It's not scary.

That's so stupid!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I tried. It seemed funny when I bought it.

You got it at the cents store?

And a few other special things.

- What took you long enough?
- And up noise.

How old are we? ?

- Guys, let play a game.
- You're lucky to get in.

- Yes!
- Yeah, let's play "Truth or Dare".

- Totally, yes, yes, yes!
- No, no, no.

Oh come on!
"Truth or Dare" is so awesome!

It always ends up running around naked and...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one, I got one.
Why don't we play "I Never"?

- Oh, that is good. Yeah, let's play that.
- How do you play it?

You run a circle and you start with the statement "I Never", like, uh,

I've never eaten potato chips,

okay? And then, if you have, you drink.

- So, it's the other person that speaks.
- Right, but you do things less lame

- than ate a potato chip.
- Oh, yeah, obviously. Shut up.

Yeah, okay, okay, okay, I'll go first. I'll go first. Um...

I have never slept with a girl.

- And then you drink, if you...
- So you drink when it's the opposite.

Adele, I knew it.
You do sleep with other girls.

- I do.
- Girls, huh?

What?

- I said maybe.
- Okay, go. Adele, go.

Your turn.

I never lied about who I'm sleeping with.

- You?
- Well, I did that one time.

- Oh, Henry. Yes.
- Remember that? Yeah, don't remind me.

Okay. Come on, lesbos, let's up this.
This is lame.

- f*ck yeah.
- Yeah, they're getting boring.

Alright, Tina. Go.

- I've never had sex in a public place.
- Would somebody bring me a bucket?

Wait, wait, wait. What constitutes public?
Like a bathroom stall?

Nothing with a door counts. Like, not a bathroom ???

What? Ah!

- I did it in a car.
- Jenny, you go.

- I'm just getting drunk, right?
- Yeah!

How about I've never been in love.

I'm sure there's ??? in here.

Hey, listen. A reaction from the group.

- You've never been in love?
- Who's next?

- Alright, um...
- I don't think so.
- Can I go?

Maybe I have, but I'm not really sure what that is.

- Okay, go.
- Yeah.

Okay. I never cheated on a girlfriend.

Who did you cheat on?

Michelle.

The one...?

Yeah. I kissed another girl

- while I was going out with my first girlfriend.
- Bette, you did it.

Kissing isn't like cheating, cheating.
It's not, you know.

- Yes, it is.
- Kissing is cheating.

- Look... yeah.
- Totally cheating. Kissing?

- It totally is.
- Yeah!

- No.
- I don't know.

Jodi's signing.
I think it depends on the agreement between the people in the relationship.

I don't want the rules making, you know, judgements on what I should do in my relationship.

But nobody likes to be f*cked around like behind their back.

I don't know. I don't think kissing counts.
It's not cheating.

Nor do I think sleeping with someone.

f*cking?!

Well, you know, unless you sleep with a person more than once,

- then I...
- More than once?

Oh my God, that is so stupid!

- Not in my book. It's not.
- No, I agree with Shane.

I mean, messing around is just messing around, right?

I mean, you can still behold someone in your heart and...

- I mean, what's the big deal?
- Right.

Wow, you guys have great morals.

Yeah.

I agree with Jodi.

I think that it depends on your agreement as a couple, so if you guys say that you're in a monogamist relationship, then you're in a monogamist relationship. And I think that, if you're in an open relationship, then you're in an open one.

Like when you cheated on me with Claude?

Who's Claude?

- A french girl.
- We were broken up.

- What?!
- I don't wanna...

- Anyways.
- I don't know. I think sexual jealousy always ways down a relationship.

That's because you're a ho.

I ain't a ho, bitch!

- Kinda.
- Don't you go projecting.

So, does that mean that I could sleep with any one of your friends and you wouldn't care?

Not if you came home with me afterwards.

- Really?!
- Smile.

- No.
- Let me see...

Oh my God, you guys are on cr*ck, like, f*cking is cheating, kissing is cheating.

Whether you do it times or once, it's cheating.

- I agree. Yeah.
- Come on!

- Crazy people!
- Yeah.

- Cheating!
- And thinking is cheating.

- Oh my God!
- Thinking?

- Thinking?
- What? Yes! If you're thinking about having sex with somebody besides your partner, flirting with, then that's intimacy you're giving somebody else.

- Oh my God!
- Besides your partner, it's cheating. What?!

Flirting is cheating... Oh my God!

Okay. What about...

Okay. Who here, put up your hand, thinks that kissing is cheating?

No, I don't.

Well, if thinking is cheating, then kissing is definitively cheating.

Yeah, I think it's a cheat.

Definitively.

Bette, what do you think?
You didn't raise your hand.

I don't know. I just, I think it's a trap to judge.

I mean, I think there are different situations, and you can't really

- categorically...
- Oh, my God, that is such a non-answer.

That's Bette... because she was a big ol' cheater.

- Oh, give her a break. Come on.
- I'm not...

- I'm not judging.
- You know what? Who's got the next "I Never"?

Yeah. Who's got the next one?
Let's just...

Bette, come on. I mean, you cheat.
You were a giant cheater.

I'm not... It was a phase; I'm not saying you are now. But, like, you cheated on Tina, you cheated on me, I mean... you cheated.

There was...
There was a lot of cheating.

Right? You guys, come on!
You saw it. You were there.

She was ??? Baboom!
Ginormous cheater.

Okay. Leave me alone. Sorry.

Were you?

Are you cheating on me?

Tina, where are you going?

What?

f*ck, f*ck!

What the f*ck just happened?

- Did I say s... I was kidding.
- No.

f*ck! Jodi?

She doesn't wanna see you, Bette.

She wants you to go away.

f*ck...

Tina?

- What the f*ck?
- What's going on?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Are you having an affair with Bette?

Since when?

- Maybe a month.
- A month?!

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because you have a big mouth.

sh*t.

- Are you guys getting back together?
- I don't know; I don't know.

I don't know what the f*ck we're doing.

This is f*cking crazy.

- Crazy.
- I never saw this coming.

Ever.

What the f*ck!
What the f*ck is wrong with you?!

I don't know. It just happened.

Such things don't just happen!
I mean, you don't wait for somebody by accident!

- Did you forget?
- Forget what?

How terrible your relationship with Tina was?

I mean, you were miserable.
You hated each other!

You hated each other.

Okay. Maybe, I don't know, maybe the sex is totally making you mad.

I don't know. You know, you and Jodi had this wonderful sh*t,

- some really, really healthy and good together.
- No, we didn't.

- And you f*cked it up!
- Jodi and I never had a sh*t.

We didn't. It wasn't working.

I love Tina.

I've always loved Tina.

Yeah, this turned out so badly. I didn't mean it to happen this way.

I know that I'm going about it all wrong, but I'm doing it for the right reasons.

I was trying to do the right thing

Yeah, well, you know, it sounds like you're doing what's right for Bette.

You know, it's what what's right for Bette.

Jodi is going to be devastated.

She moved her whole life out here to be with Bette.

I'm not trying to guilt-trip you, T., I swear.

I didn't want it to happen this way, okay?
I didn't even want to come

- on this trip. I didn't want it to happen...
- Are you in love with Bette?

Again?

I've always been in love with her.

And I feel like an assh*le that I'm doing this to Jodi, but

I just want her back.

And I'm scared, 'cause I know we're just going to, like, probably f*ck it up, but I have to do it, you know? I can't help it.
It's something that I can't help.

- I want to be with her.
- Okay.

You guys, you know... you belong together.

Yep. You do.

You always have.

It's true.

I f*cking hate women.

Yeah. Well.

That's some f*cked up sh*t, Tina.

Dramarama.

It's so typical.

Bette and Tina should have stayed together.

They should have found the courage to work it out.

Instead of just running away from each other like that.

f*ck! That's really wrecking all this f*cking havoc!

Well, we came back to each other.

- Yeah.
- That's all that matters.

Well, I'm in no position to judge.

Love makes people so insane.

Do you know that my friends think I'm out of my mind, for falling in love with you?

They don't know us.

We're different, Jenny.

Do you think that this is going to be one of those movie things.

Or do you think that we're actually going to make it.

We're going to make it.

And I'm going to love you.

Forever.

I promise.

- "The Other Side" by Rachael Yamagata -

They left already.

Jodi wanted to ride home alone.