03x11 - Witchful Thinking

Episode transcripts for the reboot TV show "Charmed". Aired February 2018 - present.*
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After the tragic death of their mother, three sisters discover they are powerful witches.
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03x11 - Witchful Thinking

Post by bunniefuu »

- Previously on Charmed...

- I'm your cousin.

Josefina Reyes.

I was assigned male at birth, but that was just a biological mix-up.

When I suggested I would get my witch powers,

well, "Only biological women "can have powers," they said.

I'd like to make an appointment...

To see a therapist.

MEL: You've been trying to k*ll yourself in your sleep.

ABIGAEL: That's when my demon form seems to take over.

JORDAN: Your two sides

are at w*r for your soul.

Did they just...

O-Open the Tomb of Chaos?

Of course we opened it.

We did build the damn thing.

Who are you?

We are the Perfecti.

Can I ask about our allergy?

Do you know what's causing it?

We do.

- Can you cure it?

- We can.

Curing this allergy

could cost you your lives.

We'll do whatever it takes.

_ [FILTERED BREATHING]

♪ ♪

MACY: Okay.

Remember what the Perfecti said.

One breath is lethal.

ALADRIA: The mist is a security system

that protects the relic from interlopers.

What kind of relic?

One with immense power.

To give you what you seek.

Reverse our allergy?

ALADRIA: Yes.

What is this allergy?

It, too, was a security measure.

For the Tomb of Chaos.

So when we put the Source in the tree, the force of the expl*si*n blew a hole in the Tomb of Chaos.

Triggering that security system.

Sending a magnetizing current of energy through our bodies.

Making it impossible for us to get near any magical creatures.

Like magnets, we repel each other.

So you created the allergy.

Why can't you just reverse it?

Because.

It was never meant to be reversed.

We assumed that anyone trying to break in would be a mortal enemy.

We didn't count on a rogue element...

Aka the Charmed Ones...

Accidentally blowing a rift in the fabric.

How were we supposed to know?

You didn't leave any instructions.

I beg to differ.

An ancient language that nobody can read except you?

MEL: Mags, back on task.

The relic.

How do we locate it?

It resides in the Anatolia Caves, ancient ruins just outside Istanbul.

Inside, a burial chamber,

cradled in the arms of a living creature.

MAGGIE: An egg?

The relic is an egg?

MACY: I thought it was supposed to be protected by a living creature.

It was alive.

- Once upon a time.

- [DEVICE BEEPING]

The air is clear.

Thank God for new technology.

Oh...

[ALL EXHALING]

MEL: Do we just take it?

Wait.

Is this the moment where we pry the dream egg loose and the temple collapses all around us?

Or a huge boulder nearly runs us over?

Or the moment when you realize ed too many movies?

MEL: Mags has a good point.

I say we replace the egg with something of equal size and weight.

To be on the safe side.

Mm, well...

I mean, how about a gas mask?

I can hold my breath for one minute and seconds.

I-I really wanted to be a deep-sea diver in eighth grade.

Oh.

Well, I guess no training is ever wasted.

[RUMBLES]

[EXHALES]

Not a movie after all.

[RUMBLING]

Oh.

Macy, hold your breath.

Now.

And run!

[SHOUTS]

♪ ♪

[DISTORTED WHOOSHING]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

[EXHALES]

_ CHOY: Sounds like you're facing a lot of demons.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, you have no idea.

As you know, stress can trigger panic att*cks, Maggie.

Are you under a lot of stress?

- Run!

- [ROARING]

[ROARS]

Um...

You know, just, like, the usual stuff.

I-I'm competing for a research internship, and my nemesis Antonio is constantly one-upping me.

And then there's this friggin' allergy...

To shellfish.

- Ah.

- Yeah.

I really, really like shellfish.

And I can't go near him.

It.

[CHUCKLES]

This is supposed to be the Year of Me, you know?

Not the year of panic att*cks and pining over things I can't have.

And that's just it.

What if I only want what I can't have?

And if I'm about to get what I think I want...

is it what I really want?

Are we still talking about shellf...

Dr. Choy?

Macy, what are you doing?

Freezing potion.

Courtesy of Josefina.

Only lasts a minute.

The egg is ready.

We have to go, now.

What about Dr. Choy?

Leave a note.

I'm sorry.

MACY: The egg has been managed as the Perfecti prescribed.

"Heat to degrees Fahrenheit "and the color will change to a deeper amber."

Wow.

It's kind of beautiful.

- Hmm.

- Whoa.

So nervous.

Why am I so nervous?

Well, the Perfecti did say the side effects were unknown.

Yeah, I mean, we've been living like this for so long.

Change is scary.

Are you nervous...

For you and Harry to, you know...?

Uh, n-nervous, excited.

Mostly just ready.

So ready.

To hug my sisters.

Let's do this.

ALL: Ancient forces of the grave, clear our energy and make way.

Kwod, petomos, dona, nossei.

Kwod, petomos, dona, nossei.

[SCREAMS]

♪ ♪

[HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]

[PANTING SOFTLY]

Mel.

Macy?

[PANTING]

♪ ♪

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Nothing.

No zap, no rash.

It's-it's gone.

We're free.

HARRY: It worked.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

[EXHALES]

[LAUGHS]

I may just never let go, if that's okay.

You will encounter no resistance.

- ♪ Whoo, ooh... ♪

- MAGGIE:

Good morning.


I am going to walk right next to you

- just because I can.

- [LAUGHS]

Found this in my laundry.

Ooh, it's very fancy.

MACY: Hey.

Oh.

Is that my scarf?

Thought I lost it in the laundry.

- Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

[SIZZLING]

Good morning, ladies.

Good morning.

Good morning.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Ah.

French toast, huh?

Mm.

And for you.

Oh, thank you.

And a vegan tofu scramble for mademoiselle.

Merci.

Does this mean what I think it means?

Hmm?

Harry says he has a surprise for me, but he won't tell me what it is.

Aw.

Harry, that's very romantic of you.

- Mm.

- Does the surprise have anything in common with my breakfast, perhaps?

I shall say no more.

[QUIETLY]: But you may want to hurry back from SafeSpace.

I will rush back as soon as I can convince Gloria...

Shea Group Gloria?

... h-how important it is to keep the legal clinic open.

I have a status report meeting this morning, which I'm afraid is code for the board shutting us down.

HARRY: Anything else, ladies?

This needs nothing.

It's perfect, Harry.

MAGGIE: Everything is perfect without the allergy.

Now I just need to ace the interview with Dr. Lawrence and get that internship.

Is that all, Mags?

Jordan?

Hello?

I'm sure he'd love to plan a surprise for you.

Year of Me, remember?

No guys, no noise, just an extremely focused Maggie dating herself.

MEL: Well, as soon as Ruby's back from visiting her mom, I'll happily stop dating myself.

In the meantime, I have a meeting with the new dean to discuss my prospects for tenure track.

- BOTH: Mm.

- MAGGIE: Look out, world.

Here come the Charmed Ones.

- [LAUGHS]

- [LOUD CLATTERING OVERHEAD]

Hmm.

Josefina.

She's been up there for days.

- [GROANS SOFTLY]

- I'll check on her.

Hey.

Hey.

How are you?

Oh, still working on reconstructing The Book of Shadows.

Yeah.

I'm stuck on this Taíno translation.

It's part of a witchual.

A witch ritual.

From brujería.

Ah.

What's it for?

It's a spell witches do to manifest their powers.

I thought maybe it could work on me.

Have you thought any more about your plans?

For the future?

You mean, when am I moving out?

No.

I mean college.

An education will give you opportunities.

A path to achieving your dreams outside of magic.

Thanks, prima,

but school's not really a place for me.

Hmm.

Although...

I could use your help getting a rare book on Taíno from the university library.

"The World Wide Web"?

Fascinating.

Sounds like a giant spider's lair.

Well, it can be.

We've been using it to hunt down supernatural creatures.

Uh, well, that's not supernatural,

- that's toxic waste.

- Hmm.

What about this?

Oversized ogre footprint or overzealous members of the Bigfoot Nation?

We've had our fair share of run-ins with them in the past.

Hmm.

What is that?

A dog.

Doing math, apparently.

That's not a dog.

That is the Mark of Shoggoth.

It is?

Mm-hmm.

And it must be contained.

Do not concern yourself.

Our job is to restore order.

We do it well.

Enjoy your sabbatical, Whitelighter.

MACY: Harry?

Macy, wow.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Wow, you look exquisite.

Thanks.

How did your status report meeting go?

Better than expected.

Gloria wouldn't even let me finish.

Turns out the legal clinic is getting good PR, and good PR is great for business.

Hey, that's wonderful.

[LAUGHS]

Congratulations.

Are you sure it's okay for us to steal away like this?

Oh, we haven't seen any monsters since the Perfecti took over, so I think it's safe to say it's safe.

I'm not used to this feeling.

Oh, yeah?

What's that?

Freedom.

Care to do the honors?

Let's see if I guessed correctly.

Mm.

- _ - ♪ ♪

♪ Aha ♪

♪ When you touch the sky, you'll be flying... ♪

MEL: It's very international.

There are students from over countries.

Oh, and there's the community engagement center, and the art gallery with a super cool Chihuly statue out front.

If this professor thing doesn't work out, you could always be a tour guide.

[CHUCKLES]: Very funny.

Here's a day pass.

This should allow you to get the book that you need.

That's her.

The new dean.

She looks... mean.

Good luck.

Melanie Vera?

- Hi.

- Uh... Dean Alonso.

I was just on my way to see you, to talk about..

A permanent position.

Yes, I know.

But I thought my office reached out to cancel.

I know Seattle State College has limited full-time faculty positions, but...

Look, Mel, I saw your protest speech.

The one that went viral.

Oh.

It was smart.

From the heart.

And to be honest, you're exactly what this department needs.

I don't need a meeting to know that.

We'd be lucky to have you here full-time.

Congratulations.

♪ Oh. ♪

It's amazing.

Not only the mindfulness that comes by adding dance movement to regular therapy options, but also how the verbal reflection of the movement experience adds to the healing process.

And that's quantifiable how?

I know it's-it's tricky, especially given the poor methodological quality of the studies available, which, uh, makes the findings...

Inconclusive.

Well, not exactly.

Since most participants showed signs of depression, I administered psychometric questionnaires both before and after the dance movement intervention, and the BDI mean score decreased significantly.

All right.

That's enough.

E-Enough?

I've heard enough.

Congratulations, Ms. Vera.

- [CHUCKLES]

- MEL:

You got the internship.


I always knew you would.

And tenure track?

I know.

It's a dream come true.

Hey, speaking of dreamy, have you seen the two lovebirds?

How cute are they?

Oh, this is the best day ever.

Wait, don't say that.

When a character says that in a movie,

- that's when the other shoe drops.

- [SIGHS]

Maggie, I know we've been through a lot.

So it's hard to trust the good news.

But sometimes the other shoe doesn't drop.

Sometimes it just fits.

[LOW GROWL]

I will destroy you.

CARE TABIGAEL: Mel, Macy, Maggie...

Where are you?

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

["AMOUR SECOURS" BY SLEEPING]

♪ ♪

The Eiffel Tower was even more perfect than in photos.

Though the weather, less perfect, unfortunately.

Are you kidding?

Paris is the most romantic city in the world.

I couldn't have asked for a better day, Harry.

And it isn't over yet.

After we check into the hotel, dinner at L'étoile Bistro, where we will enjoy some exquisite gastronomic confections, and tomorrow a little trip to the Pasteur Museum.

Where the original rabies vaccine flask is?

Harry Greenwood...

You sure know the way to this girl's heart.

Merci.

Monsieur, madam.

- Bonjour.

- CONCIERGE: Bonjour.

English, yes?

Yes.

Uh, Greenwood.

Harry Greenwood.

We're checking in.

We left our luggage with the concierge.

- Our room wasn't ready.

- Ah, oui.

There was an issue with your reservation.

So we upgraded you to the honeymoon suite.

Avec

complementary champagne, for your, uh, inconvenience.

Wonderful.

Thank you.

FRANK: Uh, w-wait, there-there's been a mistake.

We booked the honeymoon suite.

Mr. and Mrs. Frank and Viola Borke.

Blood pressure, honey.

HARRY: I don't mean to eavesdrop, but is there a problem?

It's our anniversary.

We stayed in that room years ago.

Seems like yesterday.

Uh, regretfully, sir, I do not see your reservation.

This is impossible, I booked that six months ago.

It's okay, Frank.

Let it go.

Uh, please.

Let these lovely people have the suite.

Any room will do for us.

As you wish.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

What a lovely couple.

years together.

You think that could be us someday?

ID, please.

Hold on.

This is a rare book.

Which means it's available only to registered students.

But...

I don't make the rules.

I just enforce them.

Okay.

Thank you...

... for reminding me never to ask permission from the ruling elite.

Josefina!

Using magic to steal a rare book?

What are you thinking?

I'm not stealing, I'm-I'm borrowing, you know, like you do in libraries.

He'll unfreeze in a minute.

Put it back.

This isn't just a book, Mel.

This may be the key to manifesting my power.

hours.

And then it goes back in perfect condition.

And you'll say hi to some of my friends.

They're senior professors in my department.

Dana, Melody!

Hi!

Professor Vera.

Friends, huh?

HARRY: I don't understand.

Why is Valentine the patron saint of love, hmm?

Getting decapitated by a Roman despot

- doesn't seem very romantic to me.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Monsieur has a point.

- Mm.

For the record, I'd be totally fine with you picking any day of the year to give me flowers and chocolates.

[CHUCKLES]

To our first...

Annual Alternative Romantic Day.

To all of our firsts.

Anniversaries, Christmases as a couple...

Not just the holidays.

Lovely ordinary days, too.

We can finally build a life together, like Frank and Viola.

♪ You give me ♪

♪ You give me your mind ♪

♪ You... ♪

Well, not exactly.

We won't age together.

Harry, we are here now.

In Paris, together.

It's a dream come true, no?

I don't want to waste one ounce of happiness.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Nor a drop of this fine champagne.

♪ Skin draped in sin ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- ♪ Taste on your lips ♪

- [PHONE RINGING]

♪ Heaven sent, don't you know? ♪

Hello?

Jordan?

I did it.

I got the internship.

Yes!

I knew you'd pull it off.

Ah, I'm so happy for you, Maggie.

Hey, how's your nemesis taking it?

Antonio?

I haven't seen him yet, but I promise I will be gracious in victory.

Yo, I said it from day one.

You are formidable.

Thank you.

You're a really good friend.

Back at you, Mags.

Jordan, I...

STUDENT [SOBBING]: Oh, my God, no.

It's so horrible.

- [SOBBING]

- ♪ You give me... ♪

- I can't believe it. Antonio.

- Uh...

Sorry, can I call you back?

- [PHONE BEEPS]

- Okay...

Friend.

♪ You're never a stranger when you're... ♪

Oh!

Geez.

What is it with you ghosts and demons?

Can't you just knock?

What happened to you?

It's my demon side.

But I need to make it stop.

I need you to do something for me, Jordan.

Look, I'm just a run-of-the-mill human.

What can I possibly do for you?

Help me bind my powers.

Permanently.

[QUIET CHATTER]

[SOBBING SOFTLY]

Hey.

What's going on?

Didn't you hear about Antonio Garcia?

Wh-What about him?

He was in a car crash this morning.

He's not gonna make it.

[SOBBING]

[JAZZ PLAYING FAINTLY]

Monsieur, mademoiselle.

The honeymoon suite is yours.

What about Frank and Viola?

Ah, they will not be staying with us tonight.

I'll have your bags sent up as soon as your room is ready.

Thank you.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[QUIET CHATTER]

HARRY: Viola, what's happened?

VIOLA: Oh, my.


Oh, my.

Frank's had a heart att*ck.

[PARAMEDIC SPEAKING FRENCH]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Um, I'm sorry things took such an unfortunate turn, Mace.

That's mortality, Harry.

A sweet old lady watching the love of her life get wheeled out on a gurney.

Mm.

I-I don't ever want to watch you die.

But I'll watch you die.

Immortality is a curse, too.

[CLATTERING]

- Maggie.

- [SNIFFLING]

What's wrong?

I thought you got the internship.

I did.

But...

... Antonio got in a car accident today.

They don't think he's gonna make it.

- Oh.

- I'm...

I'm so sorry.

I knew it was all too good to be true.

I only got the internship because Antonio...

Didn't.

We only got the honeymoon suite because that nice old man had a heart att*ck.

Why do I feel like the other shoe just dropped?

JORDAN: Ah...

Is it that bad?

Sorry.

First day in medic training, they tell you to always play things down, keep the wounded calm.

[GROANS]

- I was never good at that part.

- [CHUCKLES]

Oh.

So, will you bind my powers or not?

Why me?

Can't one of your demon minions do it?

It's a witch spell.

Only to be performed by a human of benevolent, merciful heart.

Yeah.

Afraid I'm immune to flattery.

No flattery.

Facts.

I don't make the rules, Jordy.

I wish I did.

All right, suppose for a moment...

I believe you.

What happens then?

Well, without powers, my demon form won't be able to att*ck me anymore.

Without powers...

I'll be resigned to a mediocre human existence, like the rest of you.

But at least the nightmare will be over.

JOSEFINA: If Ana means flower,

then subule Ana means...

Golden flower?

Or yellow flower.

Right!

Adding the culantro seed.

Okay.

Okay.

Moment of truth.

Cemi aban biakowadan.

Whoa.

MEL: What the hell is going on?

It's clearly not the Tomb of Chaos.

Right, because our-our memories are intact.

And there are no crazy switcheroos every time we step through a door.

What if we used the egg wrong?

We were supposed to make an omelet, but we made a scramble?

Side effects unknown.

The Perfecti warned us.

It wasn't just one wish.

It was every wish.

Paris, Maggie's internship.

Mel, your tenure track.

- Mm-hmm.

- We got them all.

Offing our competition in the process.

I was jumped over two other senior professors.

That explains why they didn't look me in the eye.

So, Antonio is in the hospital and it's my fault.

Frank's heart att*ck.

I did that.

We have to reverse this.

Undo whatever that egg did.

Before more horrible things happen.

[LEAVES RUSTLING]

♪ ♪

Is one of you doing that?

JOSEFINA: It's me.

I finally got my powers.

My dream has finally come true.

The blood be gone.

And with that, it shall all be forever lost.

Are you sure about this?

Certainty is not a luxury I can afford at the moment.

I'm ready.

[WIND WHISTLING]

Is that part of the spell?

No.

I remember now... the breeze.

I felt this before at the Charmed Ones' house.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[GASPS]

Something's happening to me!

[GROANING]

- [GRUNTS]

- What the...

[SCREAMS]

Abby?

Who the hell are you?

Wait.

Time out.

You think the magical egg gave me my powers?

We won't know for sure until we put it back.

No.

No.

Josefina, what are you doing?

JOSEFINA: I'm an ancient witch.

I've waited all my life for this power.

I can't let you take it away from me.

I won't.

[GRUNTS]

This is...

- Amazing.

- This is out of control.

Josefina, this isn't funny anymore.

- Enough is quite enough.

- MEL: Harry...

Don't orb.

Mel, I need you to stop this, or I will.

No.

Only Josefina can do that.

You don't understand what it's like to be powerless.

I know, Josefina, the world can feel overwhelming.

Even to us.

But you're the Charmed Ones.

You have that.

I've never had anything until today.

Being a witch is not just about having magical powers.

It's about working for the greater good.

Antonio is in the ICU.

And a sweet old man in Paris is suffering because of us.

MEL: I know you want to help Puerto Ricans.

You want to help everyone.

That is your nature.

That passion is your real power, Josefina.

I'm sorry, Mel.

I-I...

I didn't want to hurt you.

I...

I thought you would just melt away these vines.

Why didn't you use your power to stop me?

I did.

You are the most powerful beings, and you want the allergy back?

I think their language is too rudimentary

- for complex ideas.

- Mm.

We need to fix what we broke.

Hey, my friend is on life support.

We need to go back to how things were Before we got rid of the allergy.

So they do want the allergy back.

MEL: We don't want it, we need it.

See, they don't want it.

Okay, this makes more sense.

MACY: You don't think we want to kisve?

What we're trying to say is that we won't have that at the cost of others.

You are the Charmed Ones, the most important beings in the magical world.

The reigning elite.

Your wishes matter.

Enjoy what you have.

- Forget what the rest have.

- Or don't have.

That's % antithetical to everything we believe in.

Well... if that's what you want, just put the egg back where you found it.

And that's it?

That'll reverse what's happened to Antonio and everyone else?

Perhaps.

Well, it's our only sh*t.

We better hurry.

Jordy?

They always sneak out after you fall asleep, don't they?

Hello?

Jordan?

Anybody?

[HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]

[GASPS]

- [SPECTROMETER BEEPS]

- MACY: All clear.

[ALL EXHALE]

What if the egg doesn't want to be back here?

None of us want to be.

But the only way forward is through.

MACY: Ready?

Here we go.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[GROANS]

Well, it worked.

The allergy's back.

I know that was the goal, and yet...

Winning's never felt so much like losing.

You did what you had to do.

[RUMBLING]

Uh...

time to fly, witches.

That was the only way out.

Who's doing that?

I am.

Josefina, your powers.

You still have them.

Okay, celebrate later.

Run now.

Okay.

From the shadows to the light...

With her all-powerful sight...

Let this witch display her arms.

♪ I'm not someone you'd see right through... ♪

- [VINES AND TREES CREAKING]

- [LAUGHS]

- Yes!

- [WHOOPS]

- Oh, wow.

- Amazing.

Wow.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you for this.

Are you kidding?

- We love a witchual.

- Your powers...

The egg had nothing to do with it.

They were there all along, just waiting for you to come claim them.

Rites of passage remind us how far we've come, and how much more we can achieve.

Which is why I'm going back to school.

In Puerto Rico.

What?

Really?

You were right, Mel.

I still have a lot to learn.

And we have a lot to learn about our family history.

In the meantime, I have something for you.

♪ When silence breaks ♪

♪ The ground will shake ♪

♪ It's not too dark to be awake ♪

♪ With feet on the pavement ♪

♪ And steady eyes ♪

♪ A choir of voices, we will rise ♪

Josefina, it's beautiful.

♪ I'm still standing ♪

It's still a work in progress, but...

Aren't we all?

♪ But I'm still standing ♪

To familia.

CHARMED ONES: To familia.

♪ But I know I'm not alone ♪

♪ Well, it gets crowded and heavy ♪

♪ But my voice will be ready... ♪

So?

Frank and Viola, better than ever.

Antonio, miraculous recovery.

Doctors have never seen anything like it.

Mel, too, apparently, was told there was an error.

There were two professors ahead of her in line for tenure.

Ah.

So, the world is back to normal.

The new normal.

Keeping our distance from each other.

Not that you need me to tell you this, but you did the right thing, Mace.

I know.

What does this mean for us, Harry?

Six feet apart for the rest of our days?

No, not necessarily.

What if we could grow old together like Viola and Frank?

What-what are you talking about, Harry?

I'm talking about becoming...

Mortal.

♪ But I know I'm not alone ♪

♪ Well, it gets crowded ♪

♪ And heavy ♪

♪ But my voice will be ready ♪

♪ Well, I'm still standing ♪

♪ I'm still standing ♪

♪ On my own. ♪

[LINE RINGING]

[BEEPING]

AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry, the number you have reached...

♪ Just like an animal ♪

♪ I need someone to touch me ♪

♪ It doesn't matter who you are ♪

Where is everyone?

♪ Feel skin on my... ♪

What's happening?

Where is everybody?

Hello?

Hello?

- [HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]

- [GROANS]

♪ I think I'm in pain ♪

♪ Just like an animal ♪

♪ That's a gamble ♪

♪ Just like an animal. ♪
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