01x04 - Faetal Attraction

[bunniefuu]

(Bo) Stay back!

What's goin' on?

(Grunts)

(Bo and Kenzi panting)

Whoa.

Ohh.

Whoa. What the hell just happened?

(Sighs) I guess some people don't deal well with rejection.

(expl*si*n, glass shatters)

(Smacks lips)

Oh, my God! Total 9-1-1!

Wha... goblins have stormed our kitchen, and they are eating our sugar pops!

Well, tell them the milk has gone bad.

Mmm, was someone kept up late by a little doggy-style celebration of love?

A little... (Barks and howls)

All night long?

(Laughs)

I want all the hairy details, okay?

Okay, no. No details, hairy or otherwise.

I feel like crap.

Didn't you see Dyson at the Dal last night? Yes.

Okay, well, did you tell him you wanted him to be, like, your boyfriend or whatever?

(Chuckles)

Did he say that he lurved you?

He had another woman there.

Oh, tits.

According to Dyson, we are only going to have sex when I need to heal.

But there was something there. I saw it, man.

God, he totally led you on. That piece of sh*t.

It is not a big deal, okay, so just let me go back to sleep.

I have the flu.

(Sighs) Bo.

(Muffled voice) Kenzi.

(Whines) Kenzi!

Bo, that disgusting feeling churning in your guts, okay... (Groans)

That's not the flu.

That's rejection, honey.

(Whispers) Oh, my God.

(Normal voice) You have never been rejected before, have you?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Okay. Okay. As a human, I am kinda familiar with you wanting a guy, and him not wanting you back.

And heartbreak sucks, yes, but there are ways to deal with it...

(Whispers) And I will show you how.

(Sighs)

(Baby talk)

Or is our little succubus gonna stay in bed forever?!

No. Okay. Telling Dyson how I feel... that was your idea.

This is your fault.

That is why I am gonna be there for you every step of the way, okay, including ice cream for breakfast. Oh. Joy. (Sighs)

Look, dealing with rejection... it can be fun!

I promise you. Pinkie swear.

Okay. Enough!

Aah! sh*t!

(Scoffs)

Fun, huh? (Sighs)

What's the worst that could happen?

♪

Life is hard when you don't know who you are; It's harder when you know what you are. My love carries a death sentence. I was lost for years, searching while hiding, only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans. I won't hide anymore. I will live the life I choose.

This is not the day to piss me off, kid, (chuckles) I told you, man. I wasn't even there...

'Cause I was bangin' your old lady.

(Laughs)

Aah! (Grunts)

(Bones crunch)

Yo, Dy! Dyson.

(Sputters) He broke my arm.

Just... just breathe, all right. It's not broken.

Breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. It's just dislocated.

(Grunts) Aah!

(Bones crunch)

What's gotten under your collar, man? You got fleas? You okay? See? All better now.

Aah!

(Kenzi)

Ready... and... begin!

(Grunts)

Yes! Bust it! Bust that sh*t up!

Bust it like it's Dyson's douchey ass face!

(Grunting)

Yes! Ow. That face is never kissing again.

(Laughs) What else?

We wallow.

Kenzi breakup mix on repeat all frickin' afternoon.

Wait, you have a breakup mix?

Dude, you have so much to learn.

(Grunting) Yes! Okay. And then it's girls on the town.

We're gonna burn this city to the ground, baby!

No. No. I don't do that. I don't do that.

I'm not much of a party queen.

(Grunts) Ah!

Drinking equals losing control equals someone gets dead.

Yeah, but what a way to go, dude.

Okay, fine. We'll... we'll cut loose somewhere safe.

(Panting) (Chuckles)

You know, this is what I don't get, okay?

I did nothing wrong, okay?

And I'm the one whose day has gone to sh*t.

For Dyson, it's like, "Bo? Bo who?"

He's totally unaffected. Let's go. Let's go. We're gonna party.

We're gonna forget about it. All right?

(Chuckles)

We'll see about that.

Okay, this is me in the bar.

And this is me going back to bed. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

We are not wasting two hours of dress-up.

I don't care if I have to slather you with fairy dust. You know, I don't think that's an actual thing.

Well, I don't care. Special occasion?

Yeah, it's girls' night out.

In a pub? This pub?

(Chuckles)

Everyone's safer if Bo's with her own kind, so start us a tab, trickster! One drink.

Oh, come on now. All right.

Maybe two. Okay.

(Police radio chatter, telephone rings in distance)

That's right, champ. Look at that.

Not only is he dodging charges on the arrest, he's going to sue our collective ass.

Never gonna happen. It's just talk.

Yeah? You can deduce that? Interesting, 'cause you haven't been deducing sh*t this past while.

Is there a problem, ma'am? You. You are a problem.

This is your third complaint this week.

It's nothin' new. It's just suspects stirrin' up sh*t.

No. No, you're losing control, and it's getting in the way.

Look, I'll try harder, okay? Yeah, you'll do better than that.

Starting tomorrow, you'll report to the shrink, and you will get your head shrunk, or I am chaining you to this desk.

(Mutters in foreign language)

Well done.

Now you gonna tell me what the hell's going on?

Come on, man.

This is lame, you leaving me out like this.

Man, I got the cops, and I got the fae.

That's two full-time jobs.

Now I got Bo.

She's a handful on her own.

Bo.

Oh, man. Bo.

Oh, man.

Oh. (Chuckles)

You hit that, huh?

(Laughs) Yes, you did.

I need a drink.

Fine, but you're my wingman, got it?

I'm tired of being with the ugly chick.

♪

Ohh! Mmm!

(Sputters) (Laughs)

Oh, my God! (Laughs)

That is good.

That is good!

(Inhales deeply) Ohh. It makes my throat tingle.

I don't think I have a throat left.

That is some good sh*t, Mr. t.

(Laughs) Oh, you. You are the kenziest Kenzi ever.

Mwah. Aah! (Laughs)

(Laughs) And Dyson... Mm?

Dyson is a scratchy-faced... Yes.

Grouchy... Yes.

Cooch-tease. (Laughs)

(Laughs)

And I should've bit it off when I had the chance. Oh, unneeded visual, baby.

Ah. But yes, let it all out! Let it out. What else?

What else? Um... Lauren.

Oh, my God. Don't get me started on that girl.

I mean, how could you be so cold and frigid?

She's like a freakin' speculum. She's here.

Hi, Kenzi.

(Clears throat) Hey.

You know, as your doctor, I should recommend against excessive intoxication.

Who's drunk?

Well, we don't know the effects of cocktails on your... abilities.

Well, I am not a guy, so I can promise you, booze does not affect my ability to perform.

(Chuckles)

Well, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of a drunken succubus booty call, so... take it easy.

No promises.

(Slaps counter)

Keep an eye on her.

(Sets down sh*t glass)

Okay, I don't know if it's from the buckthorn hallucinations...

(Exhales deeply)

But that was some serious sparkage.

(Laughs)

I think she likes you. No, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter, because Lauren is human.

Mm. I sleep with her, and she dies.

(Makes slashing sound)

(Laughs) This guy...

(Gasps) This guy, on the other hand... he has sexual chi to burn.

Whoo. (Whispers) Shh! Shh. He's right behind you. Ahem.

A woman as lovely as yourself shouldn't be drinking alone.

Well, I'm not. There's two of you.

(Clears throat) I'm Samir.

Bo.

I know. Everybody knows.

The one who won't choose a side, neither light nor dark. Exciting.

Yeah, tell me about it.

That's my wife Olivia.

Awesome, uh... bone structure.

She's lovely.

I'm glad you think so.

We were hoping you'd join us for a drink back at our place.

Oh.

Oh. (Laughs)

And your... your wife... is she okay with that?

My wife is an erinys, a fury.

I wouldn't so much as flirt with you if she didn't give me the say-so.

In fact, you're her choice, and I wholeheartedly agree.

Hmm. Yeah. (Laughs)

Yeah. I don't know.

(Clears throat)

Girl, are you a succubus or a succu-bust?

(Laughs) Come on. A rebound screw is, like, the greatest way to get over a guy.

Dude, it's just science. Really?

I told you. I never cared that much about Dyson anyway.

(Clears throat)

My place. Let's go.

(Clears throat)

(Peaches' "boys wanna be her" playing)

(Panting and moaning)

♪ You've got them all by the balls ♪
♪ causin' waterfalls ♪
♪ stone walls, bar brawls ♪
♪ common stalls that cause 'em all ♪
♪ see, to you, they crawl, body sprawl ♪
♪ smokin' pall malls, close call, stand tall ♪
♪ doll, you make them feel so small ♪
♪ and they love it ♪

We're gonna need a safe word.

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪
♪ the girls wanna be her ♪

(Panting and moaning)

♪ The boys wanna be her, the girls wanna be her ♪
♪ the boys wanna be her, the girls wanna be her ♪ (Clattering)

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪
♪ I wanna be her ♪ (Cork pops)

♪ Yes, I do ♪

(Panting and moaning)

(Woman) ♪ la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪
♪ la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la ♪
♪ it was just like an ordinary morning ♪
♪ I was waiting for the 9:11 train ♪
♪ we were huddled undercover for protection ♪

Gold star for Kenzi.

(Laughs)

Rebound sex was exactly what I needed.

Why do you look like you're not at all sharing this monster hangover?

What can I say?

For me, sexual healing is a literal thing.

(Sighs) I hate you.

And...

(Grunts)

There's no strings attached.

That was the best idea you ever had.

(Sighs) You're very welcome.

(Knock on door)

(Sighs)

(Groans)

(Laughs)

(Groans)

♪

And you're back. I will go get my earplugs.

Where's your owner?

Hi, Olivia.

Hi. I don't have an owner. I, uh... Olivia. So good to see you.

I, uh, I hope you're not back for an encore, 'cause last night was kind of a onetime thing.

No, you left me quite depleted. I could barely walk to the car.

Oh. So what's up?

I have a problem.

I hear you have special skills that might be for hire.

They are. Let's talk rates.

Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Kenzi.

So what's the job?

I want you to k*ll someone.

And that's gonna cost extra.

When you mate for life, and your life is measured in centuries, you figure out ways to make it work. So you and Samir invite other fae into your bed whenever you get bored. It keeps things exciting. But we've always had a rule... no snacking behind each other's backs. Naturally.

What happened? Samir and I own an event-planning business.

The girl's a human florist we used on one occasion.

Her name's Jenny. So Samir couldn't keep his hands off the help, huh?

That's typical.

(Chuckles)

At first, I didn't even know he was shucking around. Shucking?

Sex with a human. It's beneath us.

I feel dirty by association. No offense taken.

(Teacup clatters) (Laughs) You know, if it had been one slip...

But it's turned into a full-blown affair.

He has feelings for her. I found these in his desk.

They're from her. Apparently they've been writing this mush to each other for months. On paper?

It has to stop. I'd k*ll the girl myself, but... we light fae really are supposed to frown on harming humans or whatever. How generous of you, Olivia.

But you're unaffiliated.

It would be so nice and uncomplicated for you to get rid of her.

(Chuckles)

What are your rates for exterminating humans?

It wasn't a coincidence that I ended up in bed with you, was it? I chose you because of the job.

And my little taste of you has convinced me that you're strong enough to pull it off.

Ah, well, the problem, Liv, is that I'm not an assassin.

One touch, and she's 6 feet under.

And you're for hire. What's the issue?

Oh, you know, how k*lling someone is wrong.

You're not hearing me.

I'm not gonna snuff out a life just 'cause it clashes with your drapes.

Fine. Screw the complications.

I will take care of this myself.

(Door opens and closes)

We should probably find this Jenny.

And save her from a jealous fury.

Yeah.

So where do we find her?

Oh, return address.

(Chuckles) Exactly why did you take this?

Habit.

Just habit.

(Keys clatter)

(Door opens)

(Pours wine)

You stuck your hand in the wrong cookie jar, little girl.

The price of being with my husband will be insanity and death.

I hope it was worth it.

Bad fae.

(Grunts)

Aah!

(Grunting)

(Grunting and panting)

Stupid girl.

Someone should have told you never to cross a fury.

Get out of my head.

This is nothing. I'm gonna sear your mind beyond repair.

Let's turn up the heat.

Aah! Ohh.

(Pants)

Let's go. My bag.

(Cries)

(Indistinct conversations)

Call the grease monkeys, man.

I can smell brain oil burning all the way down the hall.

Tong says break some cases, I'll break some cases.

Yeah. You know the surefire way to convince a therapist that you need help?

No? Show up to your first appointment late.

Therapy is bullshit.

Human bullshit.

Look, if you don't play ball with tong, you're gonna end up one castrated cop, which means you're useless to our side, okay? (Sighs)

Go to your session.

(Telephone ringing in distance)

How's the head?

Ohh. Achy. I don't really remember what happened.

(Sword clatters)

Can you just put that down, please?

And where did you get that, anyway? Pawnshop, and it's awesome!

Who are you again?

I'm Bo. I'm, uh... Well, I'm a... private investigator.

Right. You've gotten mixed up with some very dangerous people.

Like the mob?

Sort of.

Jenny, Olivia put a hit on you.

That's why Samir's been so distant.

He was protecting me.

Maybe he was leading you on. Huh?

Gettin' a nice piece of tail on the side while mouthing empty promises about leaving his wife.

Then he gets bored and just bails without even a good-bye.

(Grunts and pants)

Or whatever.

I'm sure he cared about you, Jenny.

I can go talk to him and tell him to handle Olivia before somebody gets k*lled.

Now get some rest, okay?

(Sighs)

Bo. Bo! You have to tell her what she's dealing with.

(Whispers) It's not fair. (Whispers) No! I start talking about that stuff with a human, the fae get mad at me, and things start sucking.

This is our life now, Kenzi. We have to protect it.

(Clock ticking)

So this is how you want to play this game?

Whoo.

What a Maverick.

Guess what?

I got ten cops a week who pull this stunt in here.

(Sighs)

You know, the tougher you guys act, the more I can see through you.

Dyson, it's okay to ask for help.

(Chuckles)

s*ab in the dark here.

You reek like too many frozen dinners.

You drank an entire bottle of cheap Merlot by yourself last night, because you live alone with two cats and you're hooked on Xanax.

So you tell me, who needs therapy here, huh?

I'm just gonna top up my coffee before we really get started.

You do that, doc.

You've always been strong, but now you feel your world is spinning out beyond your control, and instead of dealing with suddenly feeling vulnerable, you're compensating by swinging your big, manly nightstick.

s*ab in the dark.

(Doorbell rings)

(Glass shatters, woman screams)

(Door creaks)

Samir?

Succubus whore!

Aah.

(Door opens)

(Door slams)

(Sighs)

(Smacks lips)

Samir?

(Dialing cell phone)

Kenzi?

Arm up.

People are really starting to lose their heads.

(Door creaks)

Aah!

Easy, k*ller. It's just me.

(Exhales deeply)

Bo, what happened?

What's wrong? What did Samir say?

Not very much.

Um... Nothing, actually.

I'm sorry, Jenny.

When I got there, Samir was dead.

(Gasping)

(Clears throat)

Olivia... she's kind of insane.

She got there first. I-I was too late.

(Sobbing) No. No. N-no.

N-no. No.

I don't deal well with hysterical.

(Kenzi) Bo, what are you doing?

I'm taking the edge off... I think.

I know it hurts, Jenny.

You'll get through this.

Just give it time.

Maybe you should go lie down for a bit, okay?

(Whispers) Okay.

Come on.

How was your thing with the counselor?

Useless.

(Snaps glove)

Jesus.

So what are we thinking here... human k*ll or fae-on-fae?

Don't know yet.

I kept it out of the human system to be safe, but the wife's missing.

Hale, where's the head?

(Chuckles) Not here.

So what do you think did this?

Well, something went through those bones without too much fuss. Mm-hmm. And interrupted the poor man's dinner.

Yeah. (Chuckles) Hey, you think it was a misadventure with the electric carving Kn*fe?

Huh?

Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll call the cleaners.

Any witnesses?

All we have is the text that you got from Samir's own cell phone.

Anonymous.

(Sniffs)

(Sighs) Not that anonymous.

So Olivia ran out of the house, crazy as a loon, and I found Samir, no head.

Oh, and Jenny's upstairs sleeping.

(Dyson)

Did Olivia have the w*apon?

I didn't notice. Well, did she have the head?

I don't know. Was it not there? No.

Well, I don't have it.

Is there anything else?

Yeah.

Why did you bring them back here in the first place?

I was hungry.

My last meal left me just a little unsatisfied, and you know what? They were yummy.

You might want to think about curbing that appetite of yours.

Hey, hairy palms, what's it to you? Are you jealous much?

Look, I have to find Olivia before she hurts someone else.

In the meantime, keep the door locked and your eyes open.

Where are you gonna look for her?

Furies always have sisters.

(Door creaks)

Big, strong Dyson.

Is it true you're a cop now?

How tame.

I know Olivia's sick. Tell me where she is so I can help her.

Someone tried to k*ll our sister.

No one we don't trust gets near her.

(Snarls)

(Hale) Ladies... We're here under the auspices of the ash, okay?

Well, we can't get her out.

That's why you bring a siren.

(Whistling)

I promise. We'll do what we can for her.

(Olivia) It cuts the stems and pulls off all the pretty petals.

(Car door closes)

Someone's breaking in!

(Gasps) Ohh!

(Panting) (Chuckles)

Not asleep. Not me.

I'm fine.

I gotta go check on our houseguest.

(Sighs) Yeah.

I just wanted to see what it looked like on.

(Inhales deeply and sighs)

It must be so cool being you, all kick-ass and everything.

I bet you always get what you want.

You'd be surprised.

So you're feeling better, then?

Oh, much.

(Sighs)

I just feel so safe here.

It feels so right.

(Sighs)

Jenny... I know what it's like to be led on, and I would hate to do that to you, so...

I'm saying this not to be cruel, but to be clear.

You staying here... it's just temporary.

Yeah.

Of course.

I'll be out of your hair just as soon as it's safe.

You just say the word.

(Cell phone rings)

(Bo) Dyson.

(Dyson) I have Olivia. We're at the clinic.

So we can relax then?

Or you can get your ass down here.

The ash is en route, and he wants you to explain this mess.

Well, what if I say my calendar's full? Don't.

(Beep)

What's up?

I've been summoned.

You are not leaving me alone with Weepy McWeepster.

Oh, yeah, about that. I need for you to do something for me.

I'm not giving her a sponge bath, I swear to God.

(Laughs) No. I put a little too much oomph in my zing, and she's crushing on me big-time.

I need for you to talk her out of it... gently.

The poor girl's been through enough.

(Whispers) Fantastic.

Hey, look on the bright side.

Dyson found Olivia, and everything will be just fine.

Mwah.

(Monitor beeping steadily)

sh*t-encrusted maggots.

Burning, scorching rain.

Flaying skin of rotting sinners. Yeah, we're working on that.

Don't touch me!

How is she? Well, I'm easing her pain, but her brain is in a death spiral.

The prodigal succubus. What's your part in this?

She asked me to execute a human, and I refused.

We fought, and her... her att*ck, I guess it backfired.

And then someone k*lled Samir.

I went over to talk to him, and he was already dead.

All I saw was Olivia like this.

She ran as soon as she saw me.

Hmm.

Her insanity does explain the messy k*ll.

I didn't k*ll my husband.

I ate his brains with a tarragon sauce, but he did not die!

That worthless, cheating sack of sh*t taunts me from the other world! Attacking a human out of jealousy, murdering your mate...

You're supposed to punish those who break our rules, not break them yourself.

And you... siding with a human over a fae.

(Chuckles)

You could not take a more foolish position.

The day is still early.

(Breathing heavily)

(Monitor beeping erratically)

(Monitor emits continuous tone)

I'll break the news to Olivia's sisters.

We'll be keeping you under close scrutiny.

And you, Dyson... let's hope your performance improves.

I'm so sorry.

I totally forgot to order it without peppers.

(Clears throat) Yeah.

Even though I told you seconds before you made the call that I hated green peppers.

(Chuckles)

My head still must be a little fuzzy. Must be.

So... What kind of food does Bo like?

Uh, nothing special.

She seems like someone who'd like a good steak.

Maybe.

What's Bo's favorite restaurant?

We don't really eat out much.

"We"?

Yeah.

"We" this, "we" that...

You're pretty much right in there with Bo, huh?

Right by her side, day in, day out.

Yeah. You know, we're... we're kind of a team. (Laughs)

Is that healthy?

I mean, don't you want to branch out on your own one day, so that both of you can flourish?

Yeah. You know, you're totally right.

I'm actually planning on going back to school and getting my law degree.

Oh, law.

That's so great.

Yeah. It's... it's so great. (Laughs)

Gotta pee.

Okay.

(Whispers) Oh, jeez.

(Book clatters)

(Whispers) Ohh.

Ugh.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God.

Ohh. Head! Ugh.

(Grunts) Uhh!

Mine.

Kenzi?

(Object clatters)

Jenny?

(Sighs)

(Cell phone rings)

(Ring)

(Ring, beep)

(Sighs) Yes?

(Dyson) Hey. You gotta hear this.

I was checking out Samir in our system.

(Bo) What, he has a rap sheet?

No, but Jenny does. Jenny?

Apparently, she was picked up a few weeks ago in the parking garage at Samir's office.

No kidding.

I checked with the arresting officers.

Samir told them that Jenny had become obsessed.

He had slept with her once, but she became delusional, thought that, uh, they were having some sort of a passionate love affair.

What, so the entire relationship was in her head? That's nuts.

He claims she's been stalking him for months, but he begged us to keep quiet, because he didn't want his wife to find out.

Which means what?

Look, our tox screen shows that the wine that Samir was drinking was laced with tranquilizers.

Olivia did not have the presence of mind to drug him, Bo.

She's not our k*ller.

I think we have bigger problems.

Yeah?

Bo?

I found the head.

There's a note.

"Beloved, I've taken steps to remove the obstacle between us.

Join me at the farm. We'll start our new life together."

Did you sleep with her, too?

I touched her. That's all. Bo, you can't use your powers... just save the lecture, okay? She's taken Kenzi.

(Whispers) g*dd*mn it.

(Tires screeching)

Did you really think you could get between me and Bo?

It wasn't on my radar one way or the other.

What are you gonna do?

(Cocks g*n)

Don't worry.

You're just the bait.

It'll be over quick once Bo gets here.

Actually, I prefer slow and drawn-out.

There's no reason to rush anything, you know?

I knew you'd come.

How could I resist such a romantic gesture? You're not mad?

No.

At you, Jenny? No.

You're my destiny.

I love you.

Nobody ever loves me as much as I love them.

(Plastic rustles)

Everyone...

(Door creaks)

Who ever said they loved me... They all left.

(Creak)

But I always keep a piece of them close.

Samir was no different... a coward in the end, too scared to love me back.

You k*lled him?

I went to his home to tell him that I totally accepted it was over.

He was so relieved.

Then I drugged him and cut off his head.

How's that for over?

You let me find the body, Jenny.

You pretended to be upset.

I'm sorry I lied, Bo.

But that was before I understood this thing we have between us.

But everything's different now.

Now I'll never be separated from the one I love.

What did you do, Jenny?

You can learn a lot from the Internet, like how to turn ordinary fertilizer and paint into expl*sives.

When I push this button, we'll be together forever.

Okay.

Okay, but if we're gonna go out with a bang, I want it to be in your arms.

Oh, I'd like that.

Okay. Slowly.

(Latch clicks)

(Door creaks open)

How convenient. They're together.

One-stop shopping.

Liar! You're just like everyone else!

Okay, I didn't bring them. Just... just calm down.

Who are you? Our sister's dead because of you.

And you took part, so you both pay.

All right. Don't! Don't. She's got a b*mb.

No. This isn't supposed to go like this.

Everybody just calm down. We're gonna talk about this.

No. No more talking. No more lies.

No more lies ever again.

(Gasps)

(Grunts) No.

(Sighs)

(Whimpers)

(Panting) Aah! Aah!

(Panting) Aah!

(Grunting)

(Moans and laughs)

Nice, but you still have your training wheels on.

(Grunting) (Whimpering)

Aah! Oh, God! Aah!

Ada!

Ohh! Aah! Come here, baby.

At least I can still see the road. Come on. Detonator.

No. There's no time.

Bo! Don't leave me.

Come back here, you bitch!

I'm right here, baby.

(Panting) Okay. Okay.

Bo.

(Engine roars)

(Bo) Stay back!

What's goin' on?

(Grunts)

(Bo and Kenzi panting)

Whoa.

Ohh.

Whoa. What the hell just happened?

(Sighs) I guess some people don't deal well with rejection.

(expl*si*n, glass shatters)

Thought I'd be extra crispy for sure.

As if I could get rid of you that easily.

Hey, Bo. I'm not like Jenny, am I?

I'm not too clingy or anything?

You make me want to be a better fae.

Go seduce a yak.

(Laughs) My God.

(Laughs)

Mass destruction and two dead furies.

That's quite the Friday.

Trick, a pint, please.

The ash... he's pissed, huh?

Well, I told him you got there after I did, and that we both arrived too late to do anything, so you're off the hook. So you covered for me?

Well, this Jenny thing's a high-profile serial k*ller case.

It's scored me some big points in the cop world for breaking it.

Let's just say, it's, uh... Returning the favor.

Cheers.

Yep.

Still a douche.

Well, at least he's not a thief.

I seem to be missing a 300-year-old bottle of buckthorn mead.

(Chuckles) You fae and your funny words.

Look at the time. I... should be going.

Why don't you stay and let me tell you the story of how that bottle came into my possession and why it meant so much to me?

Hmm?

So... I was thinking.

I'm gonna stop you right there.

No. It's good.

Listen, um... As recent events have suggested, mixing emotions and sex can get kinda messy.

That is what I was trying to avoid with us.

Yeah, well, I get that now.

My offer does still stand, though.

I'm here whenever you need me.

How about...

(Sets down glass)

For more than just healing?

How about for fun?

For fun?

Yeah, there's this whole "friends with benefits" thing that I have heard so much about.

(Chuckles) (Laughs) You don't say.

Yeah, and you're actually kind of perfect.

Uh-huh.

You don't care.

You don't die. (Sighs)

And I trust you.

Friends with benefits.

But definitely just friends.

Deal.

So... (Laughs)

You wanna get friendly at your place or mine?

(Laughs)

(Chuckles)

(Clock ticking)

So there's this... Woman.