02x07 - Fae Gone Wild

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lost Girl". Aired September 12, 2010 – October 25, 2015.*
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"Lost Girl" focuses on the gorgeous and charismatic Bo, a supernatural being called a succubus who feeds on the energy of humans, sometimes with fatal results. Refusing to embrace her supernatural clan system and its rigid hierarchy, Bo is a renegade who takes up the fight for the underdog while searching for the truth about her own mysterious origins.
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02x07 - Fae Gone Wild

Post by bunniefuu »

Kenzi: Open it.

Bo: I will.

You better.

I can't!

Come on! Grow a pair.

It could be a trap! It could be rigged to release DNA- unscrambling toxins.

Or house some kind of insect that will breed itself into a worldwide infestation.

Or...it could send Lauren into the arms of her secret girlfriend.

Same diff.

It's not even really mine to open.

Good point.

Then I say we just get rid of it.

Throw it out. Set it on fire.

Feed it to the troll. Whatevski--

Hey, that would be underhanded and selfish--

None of the things that you are, my darling.

I could be those things.

Oh--

It's good to have dreams, sweet-cheeks.

Officer: Just gimme 2 minutes alone with that cop-k*ller.

When's he being moved?

Maybe we've got time to show him some real justice.

(phones ringing)

(dance music playing)


Life is hard when you don't know who you are.

It's harder when you know what you are.

My love carries a death sentence.

I was lost for years.

Searching while hiding.

Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live the life I choose.

Dyson: Alright, buddy, let's get Zeff transfer outta here and out of our sight.


Dyson: What the hell is going on, guys?

Hale: Oh! Officer, where are your pants??

We got bigger problems, Hale.

Hale: Who is that? Sanders?

Try again.

Zephyr.

Mmhmm--

Looks like one of these girls is helping him out.

Whole thing was a set-up.

So, these girls, they come in here, seduce enough clothing off our guys to dress Zephyr like a cop and march him out of here.

It screams Fae.

Damn right it does.

Know what, it smells like it too, but it's weird, it's faint.

What I don't get is why would three Fae women break out a human k*ller.

Yeah. And who the hell are they?

More specifically, who the hell is she?

(Kenzi reading) "According to a disgruntled source,"

"sexism is to blame for the security lapse "at 39 Division.

"The young woman featured in the leaked footage "helped the accused m*rder*r escape"

"by flirting with the male officers present."

My Sheri wouldn't do that.

We're just simple Treefolk.

Well, the girl in the photo is wearing a mask.

Are you sure it's your daughter?

A mother knows.

Even after ten years.

What happened ten years ago?

She was headstrong.

I was stubborn.

We fought like normal mothers and daughters do, but this one fight--

She left and she never--

I never heard from her again.

Not a phone call, not a postcard.

And when I saw this on the news--

The Fae in town say you're the best.

That you can find my Sheri.

Kenzi: Not to be a buzzkill, but, uh-- this photo-op of your Sheri with Mr. k*ller-of-the-Year?

Kind of screams "guilty."

Exactly!

The police are gonna think she's with this monster.

I mean, we may just be simple treefolk, but I have to protect her!

I'm her mother.

Well, I gotta admit, I'm a sucker for a good mother-daughter reunion.

We'll try and find her.

But if she's working with Zephyr, we're gonna have to turn this case over to the police.

God bless you.

We'll be in touch.

"Simple Treefolk"--

She said that like fifty times.

You buy it?

When have the Fae ever been straight with us?

I say: Buyer beware.

And there's the small problemo of Sheri's last known whereabouts being on Dyson and Hale's turf.

Which means we have to go digging in their backyard without them knowing.

Lying, sneakery, K*llers on the loose--

I'm feeling a distinct lack of joy for this one.

Zephyr--

Zephyr.


He's Russian, right?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, then lighten up, Bo-bop-a-lula.

I got peeps.

Hi, cousin! Remember that guy, who escaped from a prison recently? The cop-k*ller one...

I don't know!!! Just--

Find out where he parks his car!

Yes, I know, "big favour", I know!

Thank you very much--

Detective, you're telling me after the women entered the station you remember nothing?

(reading)

"All...I remember is-- waking up with a pup tent in my pants."

Why didn't you immediately take these intruders into custody?

(reading) "I thought Ricky sent them for my birthday."

How about a description of the woman?

(reading)

"36-24-28." Yes--

Woo, yeah--

Thank you, Officer Horndog--

Got an APB out on that right now--

The snitch came through--

Got a 20 on Zephyr's last known whereabouts, let's go-

Alright.

If this is the right van, you tell your cousin we owe him a twinkie.

Oh, Sheri--

(tires squealing)

GASP!

Ewwww--

Dyson: Bo!

What?

Oh--

Yeah, officers, I'd like to report a m*rder.

How are you?

I haven't see you in a while--

Is that a new haircut?

That's nice. That's cute.

What are you doing here?

Well, it's sort of a funny story slash coincidence kind of thing.

That's great. I love funny stories.

I'm investigating a missing person's case.

What missing person?

I can't say.

Why?

Client confidentiality.

This guy has nothing to do with your missing person.

What with Lefty over here? No, hell no.

Hale: Hey--

The van's empty and it looks like someone cleaned out the glove compartment.

Well, I should let you guys get back to it.

I don't want to contaminate your crime scene so--

Good luck, guys!

She's definitely holding out on us.

Yeah well, I hope you're wrong, man.

Because as nasty as Zephyr was--

whoever did this to him is even nastier.

It looks ritualistic.

I gotta get this body to Lauren.

You think that dancing queen and her chick clique got together and did this to him?

I gotta find her.

Glove compartments are the boho bags of men.

Packed with crap and not nearly the practical carry-all you hoped for when you got it on sale.

Ewww-- think I found a rib.

As in human?

As in Memphis dry rub.

If these people are Treefolk, shouldn't they be, like, you know, communing with nature, making their own granola, not hanging cop-K*llers from rafters?

Unless they're not Treefolk at all.

Either way, the cops are one step behind us.

And if Dyson finds out I lied to him--

Shhhhh! Shhhhhh!

Bo!

And...Kenzi, right?

Hiiii.

Trick, your most expensive bottle of scotch.

What's the occasion?

Closing a business deal in Zurich.

I'm investing in a medical institute and, well, thought I'd celebrate.

Trick: The MacLeroy coming up.

Thanks!

Whoa, whoa, whoa--

What is she, a millionaire?

Multiply that by a couple thousand and you'd be right on the money.

She practically ran her husband's security company.

And now after he's passed, she owns it.

So Dyson's new girlfriend is a billionaire and I live in a house with no walls.

Hello!

Get ready for some serious cheering up, Lady Blah Blah.

A VIP membership to Naughty Lady's Gentlemen's Club?

Seriously?

Yes, did you forget? Our missing minx was last seen dancing for the boys in blue?

Huh?

Come on. It'll be fun!

Lap dances, implants strippers, oh my!

So...guess which upstanding officer recently lost his keycard?

Boyd, huh--

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute--

Dyson: Okay, check this out.

Does that look like they know each other?

Hale: Yeah.

Something tells me that ain't the first time he's plucked that g- string.

(dance music playing)

See? Told ya.

Like Vegas for crotch.

We're here on a job.

Sure, sure--

Ladies, start your va-jay-jays...

Wow.

Who knew-- I think I might actually dig chicks.

Kenzi, be careful--

I think you and all of these guys--

Sort of hypnotized?

Yeah--

Yeah... good for us.

I bet the cops were too.

Yeah, but by who?

By a simple Treefolk with pastie power and k*ller moves.

Wooo...

Baby, my hair could be on fire, and I would not care.

All there is what she's selling.

Woo!

You don't feel it?

Horny, yes, but not hypnotized.

Her mojo must only work on humans.

She must have cranked it up to 11 to bust Zephyr out of the cop shop.

She looks so haunted.

Try hunted.

As in for possibly hacking up a dude, taking a trophy hand and hanging him up to dry.

Well, we need to talk to her.

Kenzi, what are you doing?

You got a lap, she likes to dance--

Hey--

Hi--

Hey there, lovely.

Hi--

Um--

So, uh, so have you worked here long?

Let my body do the talking.

You just sit back and relax.

Wow...ahem, you are beautiful.

And, uh ...sparkly.

Ow!

Um, you're very talented.

So, what do you do in your off-time?

You a cop or something?

Oh, no, Bo--

Bo hates cops.

She's just uh, she's looking for a job--

Actually.

Oh, well you're gonna wanna talk to Lewis.

Lewis: Yes?

Lady wants a chat.

No problem.

Aren't you a pretty thing?

What can I do to you-- for you?

I'm Bo.

I was hoping that you had an opening.

Mmm--

I do.

And I can see you headlining in no time.

Of course, there's a price.

All the girls that dance here have to pay it.

You definitely have the currency.

Actually, I was thinking about something more behind the bar.

Your call.

A beautiful thing like you can only make my customers happy and me richer.

I can't believe I'm gonna go work for that scum-bag.

Yeah, but not for realsies, right?

You're not actually going to go back, are you?

Why wouldn't I?

Because our mission, which we chose to accept was to find Donna's daughter.

And we did. Fait accompli!

Yeah, but why did she help a m*rder*r escape?

And then k*ll him--

And then go right back to dancing?

All very good questions for the po-po to answer.

Sheri doesn't have anyone else in her corner.

I am not turning my back on her.

And that's what makes you, you.

You know--

I get it, dude.

You know, man wants to cool down, maybe have some fun, so he hits the clubs. Ends up meeting a few girls he can add to his inventory.

And just maybe one of those girls sweet talks him into giving up his key card. Happens.

But then she uses that key card to get into the station through the garage.

Garage?

Well, yeah, yeah--

We traced your key card number.

It was used in the garage right before the big show.

It was a set-up. It must have been.

Or maybe Zephyr brought you in on it.

Paid you to make it happen.

No! I swear.

BOYD!!!

Cop-k*ller accomplice.

Now, let me ask you something is that gonna make you a jailhouse hero, or someone's jailhouse bitch?

Just stop! Just stop--

I go to this place.

Naughty Lady Gentlemen's Club.

That girl in the photo? Sheri?

Okay--

I might've told her that I was transferring Zephyr.

Maybe she took my key card.

Cool.

Why don't we just start with that strip joint address?

So the Light Fae nuns att*cked the Dark Fae customers at a charity clothing drive??

Okay.

Thanks for getting back to me.

Let me know if anything else happens, nun-related or otherwise.

Damn--

Everything okay?

Yes!

How can I help you?

Let's say I know of a m*rder*r who's been hanged.

His hand's been hacked off and he's got a real bad haircut.

Yeah, he was kind of fileted.

It was a gross, Trick. It was disgusting.

Yeah, someone's making The Hand of Glory.

That isn't what it sounds like, is it?

It's a candle-- a talisman for thieves.

Whoever lights it can break into anything they want.

For as long as the candle stays lit.

Yeah, it's a good idea to keep your vault drafty--

The only thing that extinguishes it is milk.

Of course-- milk.

So this Hand of Glory seems like every robber's wet dream.

Why doesn't everyone have one?

Because the Hand retains the deviant qualities of the original body--

And because making it is a grisly affair.

Hand of what?

A Hand of Glory.

You take the hand of a m*rder*r who's been recently hanged by the neck until dead.

You marinate that hand in a mixture of rare herbs and essential oils.

That serves as a base for the candle.

Any particular kind of candle?

One made from the m*rder*r's rendered fat.

And the hair?

Used for the wick.

Of course.

There's something you should know about this particular Hand.

The more vicious the k*ller, the stronger the powers of the hand.

Given the Zephyr's history, this is going to be one powerful talisman.

Okay.

One other thing--

Have you spoken to anybody else about this case?

Like who?

Thanks for the autopsy.

Dyson--

Would you mind if I hang here?

I just need some personal time before the guard dog escorts me back.

Take as much time as you need.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Lauren: Bo?

Hey--

Hey, Lauren.

Uh, I've been thinking about you.

What's going on?

Lauren: Something's come up--

I was just consulting with Dyson about the Russian Strangler case.

He wanted to know if I had talked to anyone about it.

I think he meant you.

Oh. Yeah, we're working the same case.

Just different angles.

Is that all?

Actually no--

The corpse of this Zephyr guy is missing a hand.

We think it's going to be used to make--

The Hand of Glory, yeah--

So you know?

Bo: Yeah.

Was that it?

Well...it's a little bit awkward--

No, no, go ahead.

Have you had any luck getting the so-called solution to my...predicament?

All I ended up with was a lot of questions.

Was there something else that you wanted to tell me?

No.

Are you alright?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Bye.

How'd you know?

After that last sleazoid I saw you grinding on, even I needed a drink.

Yeah well, after Lewis raised the entry fees, you have to make it up somewhere.

Why not just score a gig at another strip joint?

Actually--

I was planning on leaving the business completely.

Starting something of my own.

That's great.

Probably gotta raise a lot of cash for that.

What are you planning on doing?

Robbing a bank?

Yeah--

Lewis: Up next, the shimmering seductions of Sheri!

Gotta go.

What can I... get you guys--

Beer?

Scotch?

We got a special on body sh*ts.

So, what is this another funny story slash coincidence kind of thing?

Because you better have a damn good reason for interfering in my investigation.

Two G&Ts coming up, guys!

Will you keep it down? You're gonna blow my cover.

You told me you were on a missing persons case!

I was! I am.

Lewis: Show some love for your headliner, putting some motion in your ocean--

Sheri!

Looks like Bo's missing persons case is our missing persons case.

You knew where she was the whole time--

I was gonna to tell you.

We got someone to take in--

Okay, no, Dyson wait!

I know Sheri is in trouble, but if you arrest her now we're never gonna find out why she made The Hand of Glory.

We'll get it out of her. It's what we do.

Okay, how about this--

I stay undercover, I snoop around, I keep you guys in the loop.

Come on, Dyson--

You need me on the inside.

I need you?

You've been lying to me.

I don't even know if I can trust you.

On this you can.

Look, something big is going down here and I can find out what it is.

Then you're gonna tell us everything.

Yes!

And be careful.

Wow, someone really likes fish--

What the hell are you doing in here?

I uh, I was just admiring your amazing trophies.

When I was a little, my dad used to take me fishing, but we never reeled in anything this impressive.

Not many women appreciate my collection.

Well that's because they don't have a clue what it takes to reel in a marlin or a sailfish.

Or a hammerhead.

I had to wrestle that for five hours.

Almost got away twice.

That one I baited with my best lure, you know, had to put on a real show for her.

You know... This one?

Practically jumped into my arms.

You know each catch has its own story.

And I would love to hear them all but I left a couple of customers dry at the bar.

And if they don't get their Singapore Slings, they're gonna be really grouchy.

Hale: You want me to blow up a picture of an invisible safe?

Not entirely invisible.

It was sort of shimmery.

Shimmery, so you mean, kind of there but not there?

Exactly.

Oh, wait a minute--

Okay, here she comes.

Wow, I haven't seen one of these in years.

What is it?

A holographic safe made by the Nibelung dwarves.

They're the best metal-smiths in the world.

Someone found a way to bind iron so it can exist between two dimensions.

Yup, nobody gets in one of these. Ever.

Unless you've got the Hand of Glory to help you out.

(phone ringing)

Fingerprint results from Lewis' scotch glass are in.

And?

His real name is Kobe Ah Ket.

He's Dark Fae, a Bunyip.

One of those water spirits who gets off on abducting women.

Well, sounds about right.

I say we nab his watery miscreant ass now.

No.

There's something in that safe that Sheri needs.

And if Lewis is the only one with access to it, there's a good chance she'll never get it.

What aren't you telling us, Bo?

I know how to figure out what Sheri wants to steal.

Okay, you've got until noon tomorrow.

Not one second more.

You have to tell us what Sheri wants to steal.

What have I done?

Even if I did see her she'd, probably never forgive me.

I think she would.

And you know why I think that?

Because I would forgive my mom.

You're a runaway?

Yeah. Still am, I guess.

Turns out the whole stepdad thing wasn't for me.

I told my mom to choose and she did.

Sheri probably thinks I chose my husband over her.

Well, you'll never know what she thinks unless you tell us the truth.

You are not Treefolk, are you?

No--

We're Selkies.

That's like...some kinda mermaid, right?

More like seal shifters.

Years ago I fell in love with a fisherman--

And I gave away my pelt to be with him.

But I thought that Fae couldn't mate with humans.

Legally speaking.

Well, Selkies, we're in a bit of a grey area.

Once we remove our pelts, we're mostly human.

Except for your super seductive snatch power.

So was Sheri's father human?

No, the fisherman isn't her father--

I was pregnant when I met him.

Then when Sheri was born I--

I hid her pelt away as well.

Well didn't she want it growing up?

Didn't she miss it?

You never told Sheri she was a Selkie, did you?

No.

When she was fifteen, she--

She found her pelt.

Which triggered the great mother- daughter crap storm of 2002.

Donna, what happens if you don't have your pelt?

You can't ever go back to the sea.

Ever.

Bo: Sheri.

Club's not open yet--

So why are you here?

This is about your pelt, isn't it?

Lewis stole it from you and you plan to use the Hand Of Glory to get it back.

Okay, who are you really?

Your mother hired me to help you.

Look, you can either deal with me or the cops.

But I'm not the one who's going to try to bring you in for Zephyr's m*rder.

Zephyr used to come in here and get drunk--

He b*at up Crystal once, really bad.

When he was arrested and we found out he was a k*ller?

I did what I had to do to save me and my sisters.

Wait, all the girls here are Selkies?

So how did you end up here?

We had plans--

We had plans to buy this little beachside hotel and bar.

You know, someplace where we could visit the water whenever we wanted.

But that took money.

So that's where Lewis came in.

Yeah--

Stupid Bunyip tricked us.

He said he had an investor friend and that we should turn human and use our "charms" on the guy.

But there was no investor.

Lewis stole our skins.

And he promised us that if we danced for a year he would give them back.

But he didn't.

So you finally decided to take matters into your own hands... or "hand" as it were.

Yeah--

All we needed was a m*rder*r, a dumb cop and a way to get into the station.

I guess you know the rest.

Look--

What I want to know-- is what are you going to do about it?

Like I said--

Your mother hired me to help you.

So whoever lights it pulls off the theft.

And no one can stop them.

Then you'll come to see your mother?

Did she really send you?

She loves you.

She just wants a chance to talk to you again.

Lewis: What is this, a knitting club?

Uh, group warm-up. We're good.

Well, I'm not. My back door's busted open.

Someone tell me what's going on here.

Now!

Dyson: Nobody move!

What the hell?

Dyson, you said we had until noon!

Not one second more.

Hale, you got him?

Grab on--

Come on--

Bo: Let's go--

Looks like no one's gonna stop us.

That hand's even better than advertised.



Bo: Okay, Hand of Glory, check--

Frozen people: check.

Weird impenetrable holographic safe: check.

Now what?

It's supposed to work--

Okay, so we're winging it. We can do that.

Maybe the hand knows what to do.

Okay--

(lock clicking)

Oh, atta boy--

Oh, thank you--

Come on, let's grab the rest and get out of here!

Okay--

(choking/coughing)

Girls: Oh my God! Our pelts!

Girls: Oh my God!

Get your hands off those pelts!
Hey, they belong to me!

Hale: No, they don't--

Turn around!

Dyson: Hale, get him out of here.

Gotcha--

Lewis: Those are mine!

Lewis: You girls all owe me!

Bo: You're free. You're all free.

Not quite!

Miss, you're gonna need to come with me--

Dyson, please--

Sheri saved these women from virtual sl*very.

Look at them!

Bo--

Zephyr's m*rder was very public, very sloppy--

And one hell of a mess.

The Ash is going to want someone to answer for that.

But who says he ever even has to find out?

You're suggesting that I conceal this?

Tell me--

What's going to happen to Lewis?

Either from the Light or Dark, he'll get what's coming to him.

And that will be justice. Because Lewis is scum.

Sheri saved these women from servitude.

She deserves to be free.

Our pelts are who we are.

To have something so special taken from you--

Do you have any idea how that would feel?

Then you and I, we've got some work to do.

We've got to get Zephyr's body from Lauren and create a new crime scene.

Thank you.

Alright--

Sheri: Thank you.

(laughing)

Thank you so much--

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Again?

How many were hurt?

...Okay--

Thanks.

This is Fitzpatrick McCorrigan--

I'd like to speak to Lauren if The Ash will allow.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

It was selfish what I did.

Yeah... It was.

And I should have told you what you really were but I was afraid of what might happen.

I know you did it to protect me.

I realized that after I ran away.

But I couldn't come back.

You got your stubbornness from me, and your pride.

It's what I needed to free me and my friends.

So we're okay?

Yeah--

Thanks to this one here.

Hey, all I did was bartend a little.

I know what you did for me.

Without you I would be stuck on dry land forever.

I better get going.

Are you sure about this?

Yeah, I'm sure.

The water's where I belong.

But I'll visit often, I promise.

Okay, but once you and your friends open up the bar, you call me.

And you watch out for those storms--

And you look after each other, okay?

And don't take off your pelt for just anyone-

Hey, Mom--

I'll be fine.

It's still heartbreaking watching her walk away from me.

Don't you dare!

But it might be important--

All of your calls... are important.

Well I'm a very powerful woman.

With a soft side as well--

I noticed.

Thank you for the painting.

Isn't it lovely? Picked it up yesterday.

You don't have to buy me things.

I know. I bought it for me.

Turns out I don't have to travel to Zurich as much as I thought.

No?

Not with video conferencing.

And I figure, while I'm here spending hours on business calls, I might as well have something pretty to look at.

I'm not pretty enough?

(laughing)

No--

Oh, and I ordered a throw rug.

Because, as you pointed out so delicately last night, my toes are "icicles of pain."

Enough talk--

About a week ago, I noticed an escalation in hostility between the Light and the Dark.

And, like the nuns you mentioned, it's always unprovoked?

Yes.

Have you come across anything that might cause this?

Nothing that would trigger the blind rage you describe.

I'll do some research.

I'd appreciate that.

And thanks for coming down on such short notice.

Are you kidding?

These calls are like field trips.

Out here it's the real world.

In my lab, it's petri dishes and infectious disease smears and--

Bo: Blocked phone numbers?

Something like that.

Can we talk?

Oh come on, buddy. Five minutes.

Let me buy you a beer, friend.

I owe you an apology.

No, you don't.

I was angry with you.

And it was unfair.

But it was only in reaction to you being unfair as well.

Me?

The Morrigan gave me that.

She says it's the key to saving Nadia.

Your girlfriend.

Oh--

Oh?

Actually, I'm relieved.

It's been k*lling me, not telling you.

But how do you turn to someone that you care about and say, "Oh by the way, I have a girlfriend" and she's lying in a coma."

She's in a coma?

For how long?

Five years.

Because of me.

Tell me.

I was in the Congo on a research grant.

Nadia was with me taking pictures of refugees for a magazine.

I had promised her this grand adventure.

Five months in an illness swept through neighbouring villages, very sudden, very deadly, and I went to help.

It turns out that the people being affected by the outbreak weren't people at all-- they were Fae.

That's when you learned about the Fae?

Nadia became... terribly ill.

She was the only human to get sick.

The Old Ash was there at the time-- and he offered me all of his resources to help find a cure for her.

But in exchange for--

Your complete servitude.

Well--

This could be the cure for Nadia.

It would change everything.

You haven't opened it?

I thought we should do that together.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I have no idea.
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