01x03 - Get Some

[bunniefuu]

I'll take this.

Sorry about all the...

Oh, don't be stupid. You did us a favour.

What are we gonna do with him? We'll take care of it.

The tracking chip.

Already disabled.

Sit down and relax, Petit Hughie.

Oi, where you think you're going?

I'm going home. I need clothes. We'll get you clothes.

I want my clothes.

I'll be right back.

You are, perhaps... in a state of shock, mon ami.

Hughie, you just arse-bombed America's sweetheart.

You can't just piss off.

I need to go home.

All right. Frenchie will go with you.

Wait, what? No.

Either he goes with you, or I break your legs.

Good lad.

Translucent's skin, it won't burn off.

Where you gonna stash it Homelander can't find it?

Nowhere.

But we can slow the c**t down a bit.

Come on in.

Ms Stillwell. Hello.

Please sit.

Starlight, that video...

Ms Stillwell, please. No, no. Let me finish.

The date-r*pe girl? The victim?

She saw that video on YouTube and she came forward to thank you.

She could not have been more effusive.

That's... That's good, right?

It is fantastic. You're polling through the roof.

You have a huge boost with men, for the ass-kicking, of course, but with women, too. They love the empowerment.

Sixteen points with females 18 to 49, even in the liberal retreat jurisdictions like New York and San Francisco.

I don't know what to say. You just have to enjoy this.

This is so good for you. And it's so great for us, because it is a partnership, after all.

This is Seth and Evan from Marketing. Hi.

They have some brilliant ideas on how to capitalise on all the buzz. Gentlemen.

Okay. So... Yeah.

Now, small-town Iowa girl, unexpected child prodigy, is chosen for the Seven.

Destiny knocks on the girl next door's door, and she answers, to fight for truth and justice side by side with her heroes. The Big Apple is rough, tumble.

It's got worms. Muggers and rapists and thieves, oh, my.

Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore.

Or Iowa. Poor girl gets knocked around something fierce.

Kicked while she's down. So what does she do? Does she cry in her milk?

Does she quit? No way!

She adapts! She transforms!

Embraces her feminine strengths.

Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road.

And hello, Starlight.

I can't wear that. What?

Why not? It's beautiful. Seriously?

It's just...

It's not me.

I designed Homelander's suit.

This isn't my first rodeo. You're wrong.

It's totally you. It's bold, it's brave, it's feminist.

How is that feminist? Empowering.

It says you're confident in your own skin, and you're not afraid to show it.

Most importantly, it tells the story.

Of your transformation... of what you're going through.

How exactly do you know what I'm going through, exactly?

I'm sorry. I appreciate the effort, I really do, but I'm fine with my old outfit.

We're not. Excuse me?

Starlight, like I said before, this is a partnership.

In a partnership, there is give and there is take.

It's my body.

I have the right to choose how much of it I show.

That is true. You do.

You just won't be doing it in the Seven... unless it is wrapped in that.

Tomorrow, A-Train versus Shockwave.

The race of the century.

The question now, Al, is can A-Train keep his title as the fastest man alive?

Or is tomorrow the day he runs out of track at the hands of this fresh-faced young challenger?

Just wait here, okay?

Tomorrow, live on pay-per-view, the race of the century.

Well, Shockwave...

Hughie?

Oh, hey, Dad.

Look at the...

You've... This is... Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about this.

I just... I've been meaning to clean up the Supe stuff for a while now, so...

What, are you going somewhere?

Yeah. For a while. Where?

I don't know.

Well, now, you're scaring me, Hugh.

All right, now, I spoke to Dr Feldman...

My paediatrician? He's still your doctor.

And he's given me the name of someone you can talk to.

Help you, you know, get back to normal.

There's no normal anymore.

What do you mean, there's...? Look.

We've always been very open with each other, right?

We've always told each other everything.

Talk to me. Stop it.

What do you mean, stop it? Stop it.

I have never told you everything.

I have never told you how much I hate sitting on that couch, staring at the TV like we're already dead.

How much I f*cking hate Pizza Rolls.

No, you love Pizza Rolls. When I was 7!

I am not 7.

I'm sorry.

My father was bipolar.

One night, when I was 10, he tried to smother me with a Hello Kitty duvet.

Yo!

What the hell is wrong with y'all?

This is not what we do here, gentlemen.

Now, didn't I tell you, we take turns at the pong?

Oslo, Deeaygo, tell me you put your names up on my board?

Apologies, Mr Milk. No, sir.

Nah, me neither, Mr Milk.

Which means that you have cut in line in front of everybody else in here.

What else does it mean? Spit it out.

That we're disrespecting the other n*gg*s...

Excuse me?

All our fellow brothers in the unit.

You know how to write in the English language in a passable fashion.

I know that because I've seen to it myself, have I not?

Yes, sir. Then place your John Hancocks on my board.

Yes, sir, Mr Milk. Thank you.

At the bottom of the list.

Oh, hell no.

What the f*ck do you want?

What, I can't visit my old mate?

Rekindle the unbreakable bonds of brothers-in-arms?

Nope. Come on, M.M.

Bring it in.

If it's all the same, let's cut the small talk.

All you're gonna do is lie and say how you're doing fine, and I'm gonna lie and pretend like I'm happy to see you.

Why are you here?

All right.

How'd you like to come back, have another go?

No, sir. Keep it to yourself.

I don't want to know nothing about nothing.

I'm a happy man now. Life is good, Monique is back, we're good, just... Yeah? How is Monique?

Spits on the ground every time your name comes up.

I can't do that to her again, man.

Not to mention, I'm actually making progress with these boys.

Yeah, so I can see.

Don't make me come out there!

Well, this is God's work.

I can't argue with that. But a man of your talents?

Wasted here. Look, Butcher, we were into some bad sh*t, man.

Even before the Mallory stuff. And that, that was...

If I'm gonna make a difference, I just feel more comfortable doing it on a smaller scale.

I'm a m*therf*cker with a heart.

Whereas you?

You're just a m*therf*cker.

Funny you should mention making a difference...

because we just dusted a Supe.

Bullshit.

Translucent.

What the...?

Well, come on, you lime-sucking smart-ass.

How the hell did you do it?

Well...

Big lump of C-4, packed right up his fudger.

Boom, claret everywhere, f*cking diabolical.

But before the fireworks, he coughed up a solid lead.

Spilled the beans in a big way.

Now, we play this right, we could shake up the whole hornets' nest, bring down Seven and Vought at the same time.

You mean do Homelander?

This is about Becca, isn't it?

It's always about Becca with you.

Oh, you ain't got your reasons?

It'll be different this go, all right?

None of that "secrets and lies" bollocks.

And that Mallory sh*t ain't gonna happen this time.

I swear to God.

Are you bringing Frenchie back?

Because I can't work with that m*therf*cker.

Frenchie? No, I ain't seen him in years.

M.M., you're the only bloke I can trust.

Since when have you ever trusted anybody?

Oh, f*ck.

Senator Calhoun, you've gone on the record against superheroes in the m*llitary. Who's a good boy?

Why change your tune? No one's changing their tune.

It's just I realised that it's an issue that affects all Americans.

It shouldn't be decided by congressmen Can't you make it stop?

Hidden in committee. He's not crying.

The bill needs to go to the floor. Oh, okay.

Oh, no. We can't have that...

You know, I heard Translucent's tracking chip went dead.

Yeah? He could be hurt.

How?

He's got diamond skin.

He's gonna be fine.

My guys are on it.

All right, I forgot to give you these. Here.

What is it?

Those are your new talking points.

Now that the m*llitary bill is out of committee, Corporate wants to sell the sh*t out of it.

Yes. They do.

Hey. You remember when you wanted me in the red cape and I said, "No. No, no, no.

Make it the flag"? Remember that?

Yeah. I don't need these.

Okay?

I can sell my way into the m*llitary.

Thank you.

You take care of your baby, and I'll take care of mine.

Mr Edgar wrote those personally.

So if you want to go to 82 and take it up with him, be my guest.

Oh, yes. Oh, you're a happy boy now, huh?

Are you a happy boy?

A rental, you cheap bastard?

Who do you think I am, some double-O w*nk*r?

In case you hadn't noticed, we ain't exactly rolling in it.

And you don't think this is conspicuous?

Conspicuous? No, I don't think it's conspicuous. I think a big black van with f*cking "Flowers" on the side is conspicuous.

This is just another truck on the street.

Bang on time.

Hi. Hughie.

Smelly m*therf*cker.

Butcher, who is this guy? You'll give the game away!

Not until this frog gets what's coming. Only thing that is coming is me on your mother's titties! Let me through at him!

We had an agreement about him.

We agreed to put a pin in it.

What agreement? I don't trust this French whore.

I am more American than you, you r*cist piece of sh*t!

Why are they fighting? It is water under the bridge.

You tell that to Mallory's grandkids.

Tell them it's water under the bridge.

That wasn't my fault. Who is Mallory?

All right, the both of you, knock it on the head, now!

sh*t!

Hey, Monique.

How you doing, baby?

Oh, I forgot to marinade the tilapia.

I am so sorry, sweetheart.

Okay, how about this?

How about, on my way home from work, I stop by DeLuca's, pick up two fat tenderloins, some portobello mushrooms, that pinot that you love so much.

Yeah, baby.

Okay, I got to go.

All right, sweetheart.

Yeah. Me, too.

Baby, I just...

You're right, you're right.

I love you, too.

Okay. Bye.

f*ck all of y'all, okay?

All right. All right.

Listen, you two knobbers kiss and make up, yeah?

We got a f*cking job to do.

f*ck it. Dégage, huh?

Get out of here.

Who's this guy? The new lad. Hughie.

Hughie, Mother's Milk.

That's a... nickname?

No, my mother actually named me Mother's Milk.

Did she? So we got a French whore and a Stephen f*cking Hawking.

Great job, Butcher.

It was Stephen f*cking Hawking who dusted the Supe.

She's home.

That's Popclaw, right? A-Train's girlfriend?

Oh, Popclaw. Hi.

You know the rent?

It was due last week. Right. Of course.

You think her and A-Train are...? Yeah, playing bury the bishop.

Didn't hear nothing about it.

According to Translucent, A-Train knows this bird inside out.

I'll drop the cheque off ASAP. Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

All right. Let's get the bugs sorted, see for ourselves.

Where'd you get this sh*t, Circuit City?

Right? He's a cheap bastard.

You know, we don't actually need to sneak in anything.

Look, all I need's her IPv6 number.

Every desktop, every smart TV in the house has a camera on it.

They probably have one in every room.

Even in the toilet? No, Frenchie, not in the toilet. Look, I just need five minutes inside.

I mean, home service is my speciality.

Hello, ma'am, we're with Bryman Audio-Visual.

We got the new router. I'm...

This is Hughie.

I'm Gary.

I didn't make an appointment. Oh, well, your manager did.

He's upgrading the whole building. I just saw my landlord. He didn't mention it.

I've got a work order right here, ma'am.

Only takes a second.

And we can get you all the way up to a thousand Mbps.

That's a lot.

Okay. Come on in.

The computer's right over here if you need it.

Yeah. I just need to sign on to your server in order to download the service package.

Yeah, sure. I have a confession.

We're really big fans. I mean, Terminal Beauty 3...

Damn.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, that one really came together.

Let me know if you guys need anything else.

Thank you.

You gonna eye-f*ck that all day?

Let's go.

What is it?

Nothing.

This kid is full of surprises.

Okay, ma'am, all done.

Thank you, guys.

Thank you.

Get your John Hancock?

Oh, sure. Thank you.

Excuse me, bud.

What, you want a autograph or something?

Haven't we met before?

Maybe.

I meet a ton of people.

Come on, man. My meter's running out.

Let's go. Let's get out of here.

Excuse us, brother. Yeah.

You trying to get us k*lled?

Yeah.

I'll be right there.

Look, Translucent's probably just lurking around a gynaecologist's office or something.

For two days? Come on.

I don't get it. Why is no one concerned about this?

Because if people find out one of the Seven is missing, they panic.

Besides, you can't f*cking stand Translucent.

Give them hell, Homelander! Yeah, you bet, pal.

Of course. But if something's happened to him, then that's a direct att*ck on the Seven, which is a direct att*ck on me.

You've managed to make this about you in less than 20 seconds flat.

I'm not the one who's down a point and a half.

So I think what you mean to say is, "Thanks, Homelander, for showing up out of the blue and bringing the extra press to my collar."

Homelander. Maeve.

Captain, you guys are the real heroes.

We're just glad we can help, right? Right.

Where's your sh**t? sh**t's on 31.

All right. Sit tight.

Elevators?

I'm just saying, a missing team member is more important than A-Train's insipid race.

Mr Edgar wants us both at the race to roll out his new talking points. You know this.

I've x-rayed Edgar, you know.

He is this close to a coronary.

He's got blood like engine oil.

And Stillwell, with that mewling baby... It's ridiculous.

They're just people.

But they snap their fingers and we jump.

Why? Why do we do that?

Because they sign our cheques.

Can we just cut to the part where you show up to the race anyway?

See, that's why I love you.

You're the only one who tells me the truth.

It's all over.

It's all over now.

There you go.

g*dd*mn it.

That was my collar.

It still is.

Yeah, well, I can't walk him on The Today Show like that.

No, that's true.

I got excited. I'm sorry.

I'm sure you are.

You know the drill.

He sh*t at us first.

Attagirl.

The things I let you do to me. Yeah.

We're not even dating anymore.

f*ck.

Want me to do the thing?

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Okay.

That's a good boy.

Oh, stop. Stop, stop.

Tickles. Tickling.

What's the problem?

Shockwave's the problem.

What if I lose?

You're not gonna lose.

You're the fastest man alive. Until I'm not.

You know what Stillwell told me?

If I don't win, I'm out.

Nobody wants the second fastest man in the Seven.

Babe.

Compound V. Where'd you put it?

Oh, you sure, babe? I mean, that stuff, it... amps you up something fierce.

Remember last time?

Last time's not gonna happen again.

I'm under control.

You ran through a girl, baby.

That's not what I would call "control."

That sh*t's a slippery slope.

Take it from me.

No, I... I need it.

Honey, I'll still love you even if you lose.

How is that supposed to help me right now?

I have to win this thing.

I don't want to be some washed-up B-squader.

Like me?

No, not like... That's...

I got to go.

Why don't you just tell me where the V is, please?

I'll come back to see you tomorrow after the race.

What are you talking about?

I've been meaning to tell you.

Are you kidding me?

I have been getting my hair done, threading my eyebrows, waxing my body like a plucked chicken, so that we could finally stand up there together tomorrow in front of the world as a couple.

I mean, it was all cleared with Stillwell and everything.

You did clear it with Stillwell.

Look, our time is gonna come, I promise, but I got to get my leverage back first.

Where's the V?

What the hell is Compound V? Sounds like some kind of performance enhancer.

Steroids for Supes? Yeah. Well, whatever it was, he was juiced on it when he m*rder*d Robin.

What are you grinning at?

Oh, I don't know, mate.

Maybe it's because the Seven might just be a squad of manky 'roid heads.

Now, this is exactly the kind of malfeasance that Langley is gonna eat up by the spoonful.

Not until we're sure it does what we think it does.

If we get a bit, can you work it out?

I can run some tests, of course.

But there's no way of knowing unless I try some myself.

Amazing idea.

We'll cross that bridge when we burn it.

First of all... we got to get some.

Here's your cover.

You're a mild-mannered reporter.

So...

Butcher tells me he met you, what, a few days ago?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds right.

I don't know. I've kind of lost track of time.

Talk about a baptism of fire.

I'll mic you up here.

So, Translucent, huh?

How the f*ck did you pull that off?

I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.

Still. Must have been scary.

You want to know what's really messed up?

Is... in some ways... just right in that moment, it... felt kind of good.

It's written all over your face, Hughie.

What? How can you tell?

Because I know how this job makes me feel.

When I had the detonator in my hand, I felt, like, a...

I felt, like, a rush.

I get it.

Like I felt alive. But that rush, Hughie, is no different than the sh*t A-Train sh**t up.

Everything comes with a price.

The last thing I ever said to Robin... was "Don't you ever besmirch Billy Joel."

That was the last thing that she heard before she burst into pieces.

And I got to live with that sh*t for the rest of my life.

The price?

Whatever it is...

I'll pay it.

This is the Race of the Century.

This is our legacy and our future.

Athletes achieving at the highest level.

This is what we've waited for, the showdown.

These men are extremely powerful and very, very quick.

The Train is ready to leave the station.

He reaches speeds in excess of 1,000 miles per hour.

The fastest men in the world are here in New York.

Who will come out on top? There he stands, 6-foot-1, but a stature that's such that he's a colossus for the whole world...

All right, champ.

You got this?

Yeah. Hey...

Ma is looking down on us both right now.

Putting that wind at your back.

Now, you got this?

I got this. I got this. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about!

That's what I want to hear. All right.

Introducing the newest member of the Seven:

Starlight, accompanied by Black Noir.

I'm tired of the red tape and the deep-state bureaucrats.

If the people want us in the armed forces, the people can order Congress to do it.

Am I right? Yes! Yeah!

Sorry I'm late. You got room for one more?

Ravishing as ever, my sweet.

Hey, who's ready to see a race, huh?

Let's hear it for my boy A-Train.

All right.

You f*cking cocksuckers.

Please remain standing for the singing of our national anthem.

Thank you for coming. It was nice to meet you.

Aren't you cute?

Is it okay if I get a selfie?

Of course, honey. Take this.

Look at you!

You really dress the part.

It's your old uniform, but I'm saving up for the new one.

Hey, Starlight!

Show us your tits!

Come on!

Come on! Baby!

Damn, baby, you look fine AF! Lean down a little bit more!

Hey, hey, hey.

You do not need to press your luck right now, right?

Kick my ass, Starlight!

Sweetie, you know what? Save your money.

I like that one much better.

Starlight? I need a minute.

Where's she going?

Let's make some noise!

Glad you made it.

I had a feeling you might.

Remember when we used to just fly off to Paris, like, on a whim? Yeah, I remember freezing my ass off across the Atlantic.

Yeah, those were good times.

Why did we ever break up?

You mind if we not cr*ck open that tawdry little chapter?

Oh, come on.

You know...

Yeah, kiss her!

If I ever really thought that you'd fallen for someone else...

I just... I don't think I could handle it.

Is that so? Yeah, you and me?

We're different.

We're better.

Together forever. Okay, well...

Here comes the A-Train.

All aboard!

The Train is ready to leave the station.

All right, Frenchie, find it. You're in the clear.

Starlight! Starlight!

Starlight! Starlight, over here!

Annie?

I love your new outfit!

Annie? Annie!

Annie? Hi!

Hughie?

From the bench the other day?

You're... You're Starlight.

That's... How did I not realise that?

It's actually kind of comforting that you didn't.

f*cking hell, Hughie.

You know Starlight?

Well, Hughie, it was...

It was really nice to see you, but I should get going.

No, Hughie, we need more time. Can I... buy you an overpriced beer?

You know, if you've... If you got time.

Throw in some overpriced nachos?

Lead the way. Okay.

No V. Must have hid it somewhere else.

f*cking find it, Frenchie.

This is just so weird. I mean, the other day...

Was it three days ago?

You just seemed like... You seemed so normal, you know?

And now it's just... Now I'm a freak.

No. No, not at... No, that's not what I meant at all.

I just meant... I just... I wasn't getting Beyoncé vibes, but... not that you don't have that...

I'm messing with you. Okay.

Bad news.

No V. Great. We're f*cked.

No, it...

It was really nice to talk to someone who didn't know who I was.

Once you're behind the scenes, it's...

It's different. Like how?

I don't know... if they really want you to be a hero.

I think they just want you to look like one.

The other day on the bench when you were talking about how much you hated your job, you meant...?

You meant this job?

Then...

just quit.

Just walk away. I mean, you got nothing to prove.

I should probably get back, you know, before they send a search party for me.

Yeah, totally. So...

Listen, Annie... Starlight.

What do you...? Annie.

This is insane, but...

I know you're you and everything, but if you ever just wanted to... you know, get...

Would you like my number?

Yeah. Yeah, that's...

That's what I was asking.

Okay. Do I call you, or do I just commit a crime? Probably committing a crime would get me to you quicker, so...

There's a new young g*n in town and I'm ready to rock the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, here comes Shockwave.

You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm fast, baby. Like, how I roll, you know?

You look wired as hell.

Well, it's just Mom's... Her spirit is flowing through my body, you know what I'm saying?

I've got eyes on A-Train.

He's totally jacked.

He must've sh*t up the V.

We missed it, boys.

I'm out of here. I'll check in later.

Where the hell you going?

Just gonna see about a girl.

Ladies and gentlemen, please turn your attention to the track.

Please, clear the track.

Set.

Yes!

He's done it again! A-Train wins!

A new world record for A-Train. They say lightning doesn't strike twice.

The world belongs to A-Train.

A-Train wins.

A-Train wins!

Stunning! Absolutely stunning.

So, how the hell do you know Starlight?

I don't really "know her" know her. Just...

We met on a park bench.

You get her number?

Yeah.

Hughie?

Yeah. Got it.

Good.

M.M.

Popclaw's eyeballing a vial of V like it's made of Snickers.

What, you think she nicked some of A-Train's stash?

That's exactly what I'm saying. Get over here now.

Well, you know what? Shockwave ran a good, clean race, but there can only be one fastest man in the world, and that's the A-Train, baby!

Yes, baby. A-Train, how are you celebrating tonight? Any special girl?

Well, you know me.

I'm always in the game, but I'm too fast to catch.

I'm open to offers, though, ladies.

There's plenty to go around.

A-Train, how have you managed to stay on top all this time?

f*cking hell.

You said it.

She's been at it for an hour.

Come and get me!

How'd you know to keep an eye on her?

Okay.

You see that red case over there?

I've been around long enough to know a fix kit when I see one.

And she told A-Train that V's a slippery slope.

So she's got experience.

I figured if you wait around long enough, two plus two equals nasty.

Sherlock f*cking Homie.

Now admit it.

This beats babysitting delinquents any day, don't it?

f*ck...

Hey, Popclaw. Mr Lutz.

House call? I'm just here for the rent.

The rent you said you would pay?

You should come in.

You can wait there if you want, but it's gonna take me a few minutes to write the cheque.

I don't bite.

Unless you want me to.

That was a joke, Alek.

Alek, right?

Okay, let's get that cheque.

You want a drink, Alek, while you wait?

You prefer Alek or Alexander? Alek.

It's actually short for Aleksy.

I like that.

Sounds more exotic.

Okay.

Like what you see?

No. Yes.

I mean, it's... lovely.

It's okay.

A lot of guys have a superhero fantasy.

I'm sorry? I mean, I...

You know... there is a world where we could come...

to an understanding.

Stop! In the name of the law.

Oh, no. Popclaw has caught me.

I am gonna sit right here until the cops come.

You're not a cat burglar.

You're a filthy pig. Say it.

You're a filthy pig who likes to eat ass.

Say it!

I'm a filthy pig who likes to eat ass.

Who likes to eat ass?

He can't breathe. No, no, wait.

Hold on. Hang it back. Not so fast.

Oh, my...

You let that guy die.

And he didn't do anything wrong.

He was dead already.

That's bullshit.

So you can cross a street, run up four flights of stairs in ten seconds like some Supe, can you?

And even if you had have got there, she would have clawed your f*cking head off.

Now we got her right where we want her.

What? What are you talking about?

You're a smart lad, but you still ain't twigged to the one weakness they all got.

Their reputations.

Come on, Frenchie.

Like you said.

Whatever the price, you'll pay it.

Right?

Easy. Easy.

We ain't here to hurt you.

We're gonna help you sort out this little mess.

And all you got to do is tell us everything you know about this.

Who are you?

All right, I got your message. Where is the fire?

No, no, not fire. Water.

Just ask my little guppy here.

You can show her.

Well, a very good friend of mine found this. It was a porpoise.

A f*cking porpoise found this at the bottom of the harbour.

Go ahead, don't be shy.

Jesus Christ.

Is that Translucent?

Still think we got nothing to worry about?

How did they even get through his skin?

What kind of a maniac...?

Not maniac.

Smart, actually.

Very smart.

Hey, Deep, what can't I see through?

Zinc, Homelander. Correct.

And what's the box made of, Deep?

Zinc. Correct again.

They also knew that we'd find Translucent...

What's left of him... eventually.

So they were just buying time.

Why do you say that?

I'm so glad you asked.

Whoever it was... they just declared w*r.