03x22 - The College Try

[bunniefuu]

COHEN HOUSE

SETH: You taking all that? You only own, like, a wife beater and two hoodies.

RYAN: I'm sorry, okay, I don't know what people wear to prospective students weekend, so I just brought everything.

SETH: I'm packing light. Want to be free and easy for pre-frosh weekend.

RYAN: Even though you're not a pre-freshman?

SETH: It's called "pre-frosh," Ryan, and if I'm going to go there, I need you to get the lingo.

SETH: Don't give me that sideways look. You were way into this plan when we came up with it.

RYAN: That's 'cause we only had the beginning. So, um... you're going to fly to Brown...

SETH: And then I will somehow get them to admit me. Yeah, I don't have the, uh, the details yet, but... Brown's a spiritual place. I'll go, I'll get a vibe. Maybe I'll bump into the ghost of old man Brown or whoever they named the school after.

RYAN: Seth, you know Summer's going to be there.

SETH: I don't know that for sure.

RYAN: Every student at Harbor is going to their college this weekend. I'm sure she's going to be there.

SETH: So, it's not like we'll run into each other. We're going to a land of pasty Jewish kids. For once, I'll blend right in.

RYAN: Yeah? And your flight?

SETH: Booked a ticket connecting through Chattanooga. Totally inconvenient, no way she'll be on it.

RYAN: Look, I just don't want to see you get deeper into this mess, okay?

SETH: Dude, you're going to Berkeley with your ex-girlfriend.

KIRSTEN: You ready to go? College calls.

RYAN: Uh, yeah. Think we're all set.

KIRSTEN: Just think... the next time we send you two off like this, it'll be for real.

RYAN: I'll only be a few hours away.

KIRSTEN: What about you, going all the way to the East Coast? If I wasn't so proud of you, I'd be angry at you for...

SETH: All right, all right, we got planes to catch.

KIRSTEN: Okay, let's go.

RYAN: Where's Sandy?

KIRSTEN: Uh, he had an early meeting. He said to say good-bye.

SETH: That's weird, the man lives for the airport sendoff.

KIRSTEN: Well, I guess it was an important meeting.

AIRPORT

SETH: All right, well, my gate's this way.

KIRSTEN: Call when you get there.

SETH: Yeah. All right, bring it in. We can save the hug for later.

RYAN: Yeah, okay.

SETH: See you Sunday.

RYAN: Okay.

KIRSTEN: And what about you? Are you okay?

RYAN: Uh, I'm a little nervous actually.

KIRSTEN: Ryan, Berkeley's going to be a breeze. I mean, you conquered Newport, and this town isn't exactly known for its hospitality.

RYAN: Yeah, but I had you and I had Seth and Sandy.

KIRSTEN: Hey, you did this. You earned your future. Enjoy it.

RYAN: All right, thanks.

KIRSTEN: Have a wonderful time and call when you get there.

RYAN: Okay, I will.

______

THERESA: Hey.

NANNY: Hey, Theresa.

THERESA: Here you go.

NANNY: I'll take that.

THERESA: Can I borrow that sparkly scarf?

NANNY: Sure.

GENERIC

MARISSA'S ROOM

SUMMER: What am I thinking? Kids at Brown don't wear sparkly scarves. Maybe on my way to the airport, I'll stop and get some kind of angry looking piercing.

MARISSA: Sum, you should just dress like yourself.

SUMMER: This is all wrong.

MARISSA: What, the scarf?

SUMMER: No, this, all of this. Me going to Brown without Cohen. You going to Berkeley without Ryan.

MARISSA: I'm going to Berkeley with Ryan, I'm just not going with him.

SUMMER: Yeah, which is even weirder.

MARISSA: Well, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. You know, this way we're forced to focus on the future. And we can start doing that this weekend.

SUMMER: Hmm, big talk coming from the girl who chucked her acceptance letter in the garbage.

MARISSA: Yeah, well, I was going through something.

SUMMER: Is "something" code for having an affair with an almost homeless surfer dude? And does your past tense imply it's over?

MARISSA: Look, whatever I was doing with Volchok...

SUMMER: I don't need details.

MARISSA: I'm not doing it anymore. In fact, after today, I probably won't ever see him again.

SUMMER: What do you mean after today?

MARISSA: Well, he texted me to say I left some stuff at his place, and I told him I would stop by and pick it up before I left.

SUMMER: Hmm, no, you won't. Saying your last good-bye with his dirty mattress in plain sight? That is breakup sex waiting to happen.

MARISSA: Have you no faith in me at all?

SUMMER: 48 hours ago, Coop, you were Newport's Courtney Love. Baby steps.

MARISSA: Fine. I'll just tell him to meet me at the diner. You know what? You should take this with you to Brown. They're going to love you, just so long as you be yourself.

SUMMER: Talk about clichéd advice. I can say things like that, now that I'm smart.

ROBERTS HOUSE

NEIL: Here you go, my love.

SUMMER: Hey.

MARISSA: Hey.

NEIL: You sure you don't want a ride to the airport now?

SUMMER: Oh, no, we got it. But we could use your muscle to help get our bags in the trunk.

NEIL: Muscle. Guess I still got it.

JULIE: Marissa, honey, you know, it's not too late for me to go with you. I promise, I wouldn't embarrass you. I could pretend to be part of your entourage, or your Scientology guide.

MARISSA: Mom, you don't have to worry, okay?

JULIE: Kids go crazy at college. You've seen Girls Gone Wild.

MARISSA: Yeah, I lived it. Not the topless part. But don't worry, I've got all that partying out of my system. I really do want something different from this.

JULIE: Well, the Cooper women do have nine lives. I'm just glad you're on to your next one.

NEIL: Summer's waiting. Bye, Marissa.

MARISSA: Bye. I'll see you guys in a few days. Bye, Mom.

JULIE: Have fun. Okay, did a priest just break in here and perform an exorcism?

NEIL: I don't know, but she's definitely out of the woods.

JULIE: Well, it's just you and me this weekend. What should we do? I could call the Montage.

NEIL: I can't, darling. I've got that dinner tomorrow night. Retirement party for the head of surgery.

JULIE: Oh, right, well, then, thank God for Netflix.

NEIL: Julie, are you ever going to come to one of these with me?

JULIE: Why? So the women can gossip about me after I leave?

NEIL: Now why would anyone want to gossip about you? Honey, I don't get it. You throw all of these parties for the dating service.

JULIE: Well, I have Kirsten then. She's my wing woman.

NEIL: So, invite Kirsten and Sandy. He can network with the doctors, and she can... wing woman. It'd mean a lot to me.

JULIE: Then I'm there.

BERKELEY

WES: Ryan Atwood.

RYAN: Oh, hey.

WES: Sorry I'm late, man.

RYAN: No, no worries.

WES: Wes Siefert, your freshman buddy.

RYAN: Yeah, nice to meet you.

WES: You need a hand?

RYAN: No, no, I'm good.

WES: Trust me, we've seen better days. Come on, I'll show you the dorm.

RYAN: Okay.

WES: Hope you don't mind an inflatable mattress.

RYAN: No, sounds good.

WES: I saw on your profile you're from Newport. Did you go to Harbor ?

RYAN: Uh, yeah, you know it?

WES: Yeah, a few guys in my poly-sci club went there. You play water polo?

RYAN: Uh, no, no. You know what? Actually, I'm not really from Newport. I mean, I am, but up until the last two years, I was, uh, I was living in Chino. Uh, I guess I figured I needed to get that out of the way.

WES: I think you'll be okay.

RYAN: What do you mean?

WES: I got one roommate from Bangladesh, the other one's from Partridge, Kansas, population 300. So, there's no mold here. It's pretty easy to fit in.

RYAN: Ah, I guess I'm not really used to that.

COFFEE SHOP

MARISSA: Hey. Summer's waiting and I've got a plane to catch. So do you have my stuff?

KEVIN: No.

MARISSA: What? Why?

KEVIN: Tell me why you all of a sudden up and bailed.

MARISSA: I really never thought of you as the possessive type.

KEVIN: I just want to know what happened.

MARISSA: It's what you already know. You and me, we have nothing in common.

KEVIN: Right. You got money and I don't. Same old story.

MARISSA: No, it's not like that. You really want to know? When I was little, my sister and I used to always watch The Sound of Music.

KEVIN: Yeah, sorry, I must have missed that one.

MARISSA: Okay, well, there's this girl in it, Liesl, and I always used to think I was going to grow up to be just like her. You know, I'd have the really cute boyfriend, that looked like her boyfriend. And our lives would be just like the scene where they're... they're standing in the gazebo and singing to each other. Then I grew up, and... and I found myself doing coke and sleeping with a guy who I'd never had one real conversation with. I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm just not ready to give up on the Sound of Music thing. Not yet.

KEVIN: Well, good luck with that. I'll be sure to drop off your stuff.

NEWPORT GROUP

SANDY: No, it's not going to be a problem, I promise you. Look... Hey, hey, hey. Let me get back to you, all right? I was just about to get some lunch. You want to go out?

KIRSTEN: Uh, I only have a minute.

SANDY: I am so sorry about the other night. I tried to call you.

KIRSTEN: I came about something else. When I was at the airport this morning, I saw Ryan's ex-girlfriend Theresa.

SANDY: How's she doing?

KIRSTEN: She had a baby with her, a boy, looked about two.

SANDY: You think it might be Ryan's?

KIRSTEN: I think it's possible.

SANDY: You spoke to her?

KIRSTEN: No.

SANDY: Well, then for all you know, he could be her cousin or her nephew.

KIRSTEN: I saw the way she was with him, the way she picked him up-- she's a mother.

SANDY: Yeah, well, she told Ryan that she lost their baby, so... what are you saying, she lied?

KIRSTEN: I just think we should tell him what I saw. We've always been honest with him, that's why he trusts us.

SANDY: Oh, honey, let's keep it to ourselves. At least until he gets back.

BROWN

RYAN: Hey, Seth.

SETH: Hey, man, how's Berkeley?

RYAN: It's cold and wet and pretty cool. I can't believe I'm actually on a college campus.

SETH: Ryan, I am touching ivy right now.

RYAN: What?

SETH: Real ivy. It grows on the buildings here. Those pictures in the brochure-- they are not Photoshopped.

RYAN: Ah! I take it you're in the middle of the quad right now?

SETH: Yeah. Dead center.

RYAN: Pretty stuff. I can't imagine anyone actually seeing you there.

SETH: I know, I know. It's a Summer haunt, but I had to come visit campus for a few minutes.

RYAN: And it's perfect?

SETH: Man, it's better than perfect. Seth Cohen has come home to roost.

ANNA: Cohen?

RYAN: Who's that?

SETH: I don't know. I'm too afraid to turn around. Anna?

______

SETH: So... Newport v. Pittsburgh. Who would win in a Smackdown?

ANNA: For me, Pittsburgh.

SETH: Come on. You miss Newport. The sun and the surf. The surgery.

ANNA: They have not perfected the chin implant in Pittsburgh, but I am optimistic.

SETH: Mocking Newport with Anna Stern. That is one of my favorite pastimes.

ANNA: Mine, too. But I did get a small taste when Atomic County came out.

SETH: Hey, you saw my comic?

ANNA: I was so proud of you.

SETH: Thanks.

ANNA: But I do have a few notes on my character Punky Spitfire.

SETH: Okay.

ANNA: And that mobisode was hilarious.

SETH: What the hell is a mobisode?

ANNA: You don't know? I thought it was your comic.

SETH: Oh. Yeah, it was, but I traded it to a guy named Zach Stevens in exchange for Summer.

ANNA: How romantic. How are you guys?

SETH: Great. Uh... yeah, great.

SETH: Great.

ANNA: Great. Tell her I say hi.

SETH: I will. I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea about us bumping into each other out here.

ANNA: I know, it does kind of seem like fate.

SETH: Yeah. Not exactly.

ANNA: Oh, ouch.

SETH: No. What I mean is-- and, um, the only other person who knows this is Ryan, so... I am not officially admitted here.

ANNA: You didn't get in?!

SETH: Shut up. No, I didn't. That's why I'm out here this weekend; I'm trying to get in.

ANNA: And how do you plan on doing that?

SETH: I haven't quite nailed that down yet, but now that I've run into you, who, if I remember correctly, is not only sage but wise.

ANNA: And you want me to come up with some hair-brained scheme to, what, smuggle you into college?

SETH: Yes, please. For me? Listen, it's fate. You said it yourself.

ANNA: All right. There's a Meet the Faculty reception here tonight. I assume Dr. Overbee will be there.

SETH: That's the admissions dude.

ANNA: You can try talking to him.

SETH: And I will say what?

ANNA: You're the one who flew all the way out here, because you want to go here so badly. Don't you think that you should come up with that speech yourself?

COHEN HOUSE

JULIE: What are you doing tomorrow night? No plans? Good. You're going to Neil's dinner with all the doctors. Sandy can do some recruiting for the new hospital. You and I can sit in the corner and gossip. A fun time will be had by all.

KIRSTEN: Actually, I'm busy.

JULIE: Kiki... All you ever do is sit in this house and drink tea. I mean, what's the real reason?

KIRSTEN: Sandy and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

JULIE: Oh. What happened?

KIRSTEN: It's complicated. Suffice it to say, I'm not a huge fan of this hospital project.

JULIE: Well, are you a huge fan of me? 'Cause, you know, I'm just saying, if you need a reason to go, you're looking at one.

KIRSTEN: You don't need me to do this.

JULIE: Yeah, Kirsten, I do. You know, ever since Caleb d*ed, the only way I've been able to navigate through these Newpsie-infested waters is with you by my side. Please, Kirsten. I want Dr. Roberts' doctor friends to like me.

KIRSTEN: Fine. But I'm only doing this for you.

JULIE: Thank you. I owe you one. Or, you know, maybe it's more than one. But who's counting? Okay, see you tomorrow.

BERKELEY

MIGUEL: So your dad's in jail?

RYAN: Yeah, yeah.

MIGUEL: I've got a dad, one brother and two uncles locked up.

RYAN: You win.

WES: Miguel's the first in his family to go to college, too.

RYAN: Really? Let me ask you, ever feel out of place here?

MIGUEL: Oh, all the time. But, look, as long as I keep my grades up, I figure, I belong here as much as anyone else. One day, Wes here is gonna get my brother out of jail. Yeah, Supreme Court Justice.

WES: That's just a pipe dream. I'll be happy if I pass the bar.

RYAN: No, that's amazing.

WES: Oh, speaking of amazing. And she's headed this way.

MARISSA: Hi.

RYAN: Hi.

WES: You two know each other?

MARISSA: We were in the same class.

RYAN: Yeah, at Harbor. Uh, this is Miguel.

MIGUEL: Hi.

MARISSA: Hi.

RYAN: And Wes, my freshman buddy.

WES: Yeah, speaking of buddies, where's yours?

MARISSA: Oh, mine is a vegan, and she's boycotting this, 'cause of the turkey on your plate.

WES: What can you do, right? So you're all alone, huh?

MARISSA: Yeah, but I'm fine, no worries. See you guys around.

MIGUEL: Okay, there's definitely a story there.

WES: Oh, yeah.

MIGUEL: And it's not "We went to Harbor together."

RYAN: Yeah, yeah, we dated, on and off for two and a half years. That'll do it.

WES: Yeah. She seems nice. And lonely.

RYAN: Well, listen, if you want to go talk to her...

WES: Hey, hey, she's your ex, I'm your buddy. Not a good mix.

RYAN: No, honestly. I'm gonna be in college with her, so I've got to get used to it. Really, go for it.

WES: Sure you don't mind?

RYAN: No.

MIGUEL: So... let me tell you about Rush week.

BROWN

ANNA: Okay, look, there he is-- Dr. Overbee, Head of Admissions. What? What?

SETH: Nothing, I'm just looking around.

ANNA: Why are you acting like a fugitive?

SETH: Uh, no, no, I'm just trying to stay under the radar. You never know who's gonna be at these things.

ANNA: Well, focus. Have you thought about what you're gonna say to him?

SETH: Uh, probably just gonna riff. You know? Uh, we're both dudes. I mean, even though he's got a bow tie and probably like nine Ph.D.s, underneath, I'm sure we're pretty much the same.

ANNA: Could you maybe think of some talking points?

SETH: Okay, shh. He's by himself. This is my moment.

____

SETH: Dr. Overbee.

OVERBEE: Hi.

____

BOY: The fact is, the U.S. has been performing its own jihads for decades. Just instead of Allah, the k*lling is done in the name of oil.

GIRL: Totally.

SUMMER: You guys, what is a jihad?

BOY: Exactly.

GIRL: Way to reframe the question, Summer.

____

OVERBEE: What was your name again?

SETH: Seth Cohen. You may remember me from my application essay on Superman. Lonely guy, Superman.

OERBEE: I don't recall it at the moment, but if you're here today, I trust it was exceptional.

SETH: Yeah, about that. Do you have a minute? You maybe want to take a walk, stretch your legs?

OVERBEE: I'm sorry, this is a faculty reception, I have to be here. I should make the rounds. It was nice to meet you.

SETH: Dr. Overbee, please. I really need to talk to you. If you can't do it now, name the time and place. All I need is five minutes.

OVERBEE: I suppose I could see you here tomorrow around 5:00?

SETH: Great, thank you so much. Thank you so much.

SUMMER: Cohen?

SETH: Oh, hey. What's going on?

SUMMER: What the hell are you doing here?

SETH: Ah... Providence in spring, can't b*at it.

SUMMER: So you are going to Brown. You just didn't want to come with me.

ANNA: How'd it go?

SUMMER: Anna.

ANNA: Summer.

SETH: You're probably really confused right about now.

SUMMER: No, not at all. All of this, everything you've done up until now, finally makes sense.

BERKELEY

WES: So you and Ryan dated for how long?

MARISSA: Couple years. But we've both been with other people since then. It's not exactly normal yet, but we're working on it. So where is Ryan anyway?

WES: Tour of the architecture building. I never set foot in there, so I couldn't really show him around.

MARISSA: Where do you hang out?

WES: Poly-sci building. Sexy, right? It's my major. I'm just hoping it gets me into law school.

MARISSA: My dad was a poly-sci major. No, you kind of remind me of him a little bit. The good parts, at least.

WES: Well, if that's a compliment, I'll take it.

MARISSA: It is. One second.

WES: Hey, Ryan.

RYAN: Hey.

MARISSA: Hi.

RYAN: I didn't know you were gonna be here.

MARISSA: Yeah, I hope it's not weird that I am. I don't really know what the rules are between us.

RYAN: Oh, me either.

MARISSA: So I know the whole friendship thing didn't really work out in Newport, but...

RYAN: That was Newport, you know? Everything feels different here. I'm willing to try.

MARISSA: Hmm. Well, I don't know. You know, 'cause if I was in your circle of friends, I might accidentally let it slip that you used to do musicals.

RYAN: I have enough dirt on you to last the next four years, so bring it on.

MARISSA: That might be true. Anyway, you want to come sit with me and Wes? I want to hear about your architecture tour.

RYAN: Really?

MARISSA: Yeah.

BROWN

ANNA: Seth, it's okay.

SETH: I'm sorry, I should have told you I was on a Summer mission.

ANNA: Yeah, well, I should have known it. But I can't be mad at you when you're this pathetic.

SETH: Thank you.

ANNA: Now stop wallowing, and let's figure out how we're gonna get you out of this.

SETH: Why do you want to help me?

ANNA: It's the pathetic thing. It really works on me. Okay, look, here's a list of tomorrow's pre-frosh activities. Try and figure out which ones Summer might go to.

SETH: I don't know. She's never been much of a joiner. Maybe the walking tour; she likes cardio.

ANNA: Oh, good, you can go to that, you can talk to her. But now we've got to figure out what you're gonna say to Dr. Overbee.

SETH: I don't know. If he didn't like my Superman essay, I'm out.

ANNA: Seth, you flew all this way to win her back. Now have you five minutes with Dr. Overbee to make it happen. We're gonna write the speech.

SETH: What have I done the last two years without you?

ANNA: Honestly... I don't know.

COHEN HOUSE

SANDY: Hey. I got your message about the hospital dinner.

KIRSTEN: Tomorrow night. Can you make it?

SANDY: Absolutely. Maybe I can get some of these doctors excited about the new hospital. Hey! Ryan! How are my old stomping grounds? I'm happy to hear that. Hey, listen, you know what? I got a call that I got to take here. It's work. I'm going to hand you off to Kirsten, all right? Have fun. Hello.

KIRSTEN: Hey, how's it going?

RYAN: Hey, Kirsten, it's, um, it's actually kind of amazing. How are you?

KIRSTEN: Fine. I'm good, fine.

RYAN: You don't sound fine.

KIRSTEN: Don't be silly. Tell me more about college.

RYAN: Kirsten, what's going on?

KIRSTEN: It can wait till you get home.

RYAN: Okay, so there is something.

KIRSTEN: It's really... it-it's not... it's not important.

RYAN: Then you won't mind telling me what is it.

KIRSTEN: I-I don't want you to overreact because that's probably what I am doing. I saw Theresa at the airport. She had a baby with her. It looked like her son.

RYAN: An-And you think?

KIRSTEN: I don't know what I think.

BROWN

ANNA: There she is. Now, remember, you're just gonna tell her the truth.

SETH: Right.

ANNA: Yes.

SETH: Okay, all of it.

____

SETH: Summer, can I talk to you?

SUMMER: Just leave me alone, Cohen.

JACK: Hey, everyone. Hello. My name is Jack. I'm a sophomore here at Brown, and I'll be leading this walking tour. So long as everyone's got their name tags, we can get started.

SETH: Look, I want to explain to you about everything.

JACK: Uh, you in the, uh, striped shirt-- do you have a name tag?

SETH: Uh... yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm all set.

JACK: Kumar? Your-Your name is Kumar?

SETH: Yes. Kumar Zimmerman. I'm half Indian, I am half Jewish. I am a Hin-Jew.

JACK: Well, good, good then. Um, well, come, everyone, right this way. Now to our left, we've got the main dining hall...

SETH: Ever since we got our acceptance letters, I've been acting like a freak, I know that.

SUMMER: Does this tour offer an audio option? You know, like when you get headsets at the museum?

JACK: No. To the right, we have...

SETH: Summer, you can't just ignore me forever.

SUMMER: Oh, yes, I can. Don't you remember middle school? I was really good at ignoring you. Now, I'm just getting back into shape.

SETH: Look, I promise you, I did not know Anna was going to be here.

JACK: Hey, Kumar. Kumar, do you want to keep it down?

SETH: Yeah, sorry. You're probably wondering about the Kumar thing. Uh, again, if you let me explain, I promise you it will all make sense.

SUMMER: Oh, no. It already makes sense, okay? I don't need any explanation. You broke up with me 'cause you wanted to be free to date smart women in college. You got quite the head start.

SETH: Summer, that is so not it.

SUMMER: Look, you already ruined senior year for me. There's nothing I can do about that now. I'm not going to let you ruin college, too. Now will you please just leave me alone? Please!

COHEN HOUSE

RYAN: Hi.

KIRSTEN: Ryan.

RYAN: I couldn't stay.

KIRSTEN: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you.

RYAN: No, no. I'm glad you did. It's funny. In a way, I was kind of expecting it. I mean, for once things were uncomplicated. How long could that last, right?

KIRSTEN: Well, maybe it's not.

RYAN: Yeah, yeah, I know.

KIRSTEN: Whatever is going on with Theresa, we'll get to the bottom of it. I did some research on the Internet, and I found her address.

RYAN: Oh, great, thanks. I'm going to put this in the pool house.

KIRSTEN: Ryan, no matter what happens, we're behind you.

BROWN

SETH: Dr. Overbee, you made it.

OVERBEE: Yes. Well, as I said, I've only got five minutes.

SETH: Sure, sure, okay. You're a busy guy, and I have a tendency to ramble, which is why I've prepared this statement. Dr. Overbee, the following is a list of reasons why I should have gotten into Brown.

OVERBEE: Wait a minute. You didn't get in?

SETH: No, I didn't, but only because I'm sure there was some sort of clerical error, or maybe a human error. Maybe the computer froze.

OVERBEE: Mr. Cohen, I was under the impression you were an admitted student. That's why I came to meet you.

SETH: I know. But will you please just listen to me, and if you still don't want to let me in, at least I'll know I tried?

OVERBEE: Okay. You have one minute.

SETH: Then I'm going to have to sort of, uh, condense this, maybe make it more of a b*llet point thing. Grades-- 3.8. Hmm? Uh, SATs-- 2250. That's not perfect, but I would say it's respectable. I was President of the Comic Book Club. I was also a member of the chess team, although I was extremely low-profile about it.

OVERBEE: 30 seconds.

SETH: Okay. Now, here's the part about how I belong on the East Coast, and... This is a little joke about the weather here, just to keep it light. It's pretty funny. And, uh... I guess that's about it.

OVERBEE: That was compelling. But you misled me, and you wasted my time. So now I trust you'll show yourself off campus.

SETH: Dr. Overbee, I have to get in here. Okay? And it's not just because I love it, although I do, I truly... I do. It's because of a girl. Her name is Summer Roberts, and she's going here, and if I don't get in, I'm going to lose her, and the rest of my life is going to be ruined.

OVERBEE: So this is about a girl?

SETH: Yes. It's about the girl. Do you get it?

OVERBEE: I do. But we make commitments when we send out those letters, and for better or for worse, we stick to them.

SETH: Please?

OVERBEE: I wish I could help you, but you're going to have to do this yourself. Good luck.

COHEN HOUSE

SANDY: Ryan, I thought you weren't getting home until tomorrow.

RYAN: Uh, Kirsten didn't tell you?

SANDY: No, no, she didn't.

RYAN: Yeah, I kind of figured I needed to get home and deal with this.

SANDY: Right, right, of course.

RYAN: You know, in case it turns out to be...

SANDY: We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it.

RYAN: Yeah, yeah. Okay.

SANDY: All right.

KIRSTEN AND SANDY' ROOM

SANDY: You told him.

KIRSTEN: I didn't think he'd come home.

SANDY: Well, you know Ryan better than that.

KIRSTEN: It just happened, you weren't there, you had to take a business call.

SANDY: Oh, so you told Ryan about Theresa to punish me?

KIRSTEN: I told him because he asked, because he has a right to know.

SANDY: Theresa hasn't demanded anything of him, why should we?

KIRSTEN: Being a father is important. Being a family is important. There was a time when you'd be making this argument.

SANDY: What's that supposed to mean?

KIRSTEN: You know what I'm talking about.

SANDY: I know that we have to talk about this some more, and I can't right now. I got to go back to the office before dinner.

KIRSTEN: It'll have to wait, fine.

BERKELEY

MARISSA: Oh, hey.

WES: Hey.

MARISSA: Here, let me help you.

WES: Thank you. Oh, thanks. Staying dry?

MARISSA: Yeah. Here.

WES: Thanks. So, we are having some people back to our place later. You want to come by?

MARISSA: Oh, well, I was supposed to go to a freshman barbecue, but considering the rain, I could be persuaded otherwise.

WES: Good. You'll come over then.

MARISSA: Hey, where's Ryan?

WES: Uh, left this morning.

MARISSA: He went home?

WES: Yeah, some family emergency. Uh, it didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it, so, I didn't push it.

MARISSA: Well, I should call him. Or shouldn't I? I don't know. Should I give him space?

WES: It's not easy being friends with your ex, is it? Look, you know Ryan better than I do, but... seems like whatever was happening, it was private. He'll tell you if he wants.

MARISSA: I guess so.

WES: Well, this thing is getting heavy.

MARISSA: Is that a hint?

WES: Yeah, thanks. Here, I'll switch.

MARISSA: Okay, here.

WES: There we go.

HOTEL

RYAN: Hi. I'm looking for Theresa. Is she home?

NANNY: Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Diaz won't be home until later. Can I help you?

RYAN: I'm... Ryan Atwood. I'm an old friend.

NANNY: Say hi, Daniel.

RYAN: Hi, Daniel. This is Theresa's kid, huh?

NANNY: Yeah. She's a terrific mom. I'll be sure to tell her that you stopped by.

RYAN: Okay.

NANNY: Okay. Bye.

BERKELEY

WES: Having a good time?

MARISSA: Yeah. It seems like everyone is.

WES: Yeah, wait till tomorrow. Come Sunday, all these people will be fighting for study carrels in the library.

MARISSA: That's got to be tough.

WES: Not everyone can handle it. I couldn't anyway.

MARISSA: You? Please. You're like the model freshman.

WES: You should have seen me last year. The truth is, this is my second s*ab at freshman year. Last go around didn't go so well.

MARISSA: Why, what happened?

WES: Uh, let's see. 1.5 GPA, too much partying. Went home after a few months. Realized I had to figure out what I wanted from college.

MARISSA: I never would have guessed.

WES: Well, not all pre-freshman are as gung ho as you.

MARISSA: You bought that?

WES: What, that was an act?

MARISSA: Well, it wouldn't have been two years ago. I was the girl on yearbook, charity league, social chair-- whatever my mom told me to do. I got straight As... sometimes a "B" in math, but my dad was a whiz, so he'd help me. And then on the weekends, I rode my little sister's pony for fun. I even won some blue ribbons.

WES: And then... what happened?

MARISSA: Well, my dad lost all his money... the pony lost all its hair, and my mom kind of lost her mind. Also, I got kicked out of school, and my friend d*ed. I guess everything happened. And then at some point, I just... stopped being the girl who belonged at college... or anywhere, for that matter.

WES: Everyone belongs somewhere.

MARISSA: Maybe not everyone. Maybe some people just get lost.

POOLHOUSE

RYAN: I won't know anything till I talk to Theresa. I'm just... just going to have to wait.

SETH: Yeah, well, not to worry. I'm on the next flight home. I'm just waiting on my cab.

RYAN: Seth, you don't have to come home early on my account.

SETH: Oh, there are a lot of reasons, trust me. See you when I get home.

BROWN

ANNA: Get in.

SETH: Hey.

ANNA: Hey.

SETH: Are you giving me a ride to the airport?

ANNA: Eventually.

SETH: My plane leaves in, like, an hour or so.

ANNA: Well, that is just enough time to make a quick stop at RISD.

SETH: You mean the Rhode Island School of Design?

ANNA: You're going to apply, and this is your application.

SETH: Where'd you get this?

ANNA: I, uh... I had my mom FedEx it. You know, just in case The Ironist failed and Dr. Overbee didn't go for the quick quips and pop-culture-laden bromides. No, I have an in there: my cousin.

SETH: Anna...

ANNA: Hmm? If you get in, you'll be in the same state as Summer, and the good news is, it is a very small state.

SETH: I know, I know, but that's, like, one of the best art schools in the country, and as much as I love the face-to-face college rejection, I think I should just cut my losses on this one.

ANNA: Cohen.

SETH: Yeah?

ANNA: Confidence, remember?

SETH: Right.

ANNA: Good. All right, we're going to RISD.

RESTAURANT

JULIE: Kiki, you made it.

NEIL: Hey, here's the man of the hour.

SANDY: It's good to see you, Neil.

NEIL: Hi, Sandy.

SANDY: Hey, Julie.

JULIE: Hey.

NEIL: Kirsten, you look lovely.

KIRSTEN: Thank you.

NEIL: Would you ladies excuse us? Some doctors want to meet this fella.

SANDY: That'd be great. Excuse me.

JULIE: Uh-oh, what's wrong?

KIRSTEN: Long story.

JULIE: Oh... and now you have to watch him work the crowd all night, and it's because of me.

KIRSTEN: No, Julie, it's okay. I wouldn't have bailed on you.

JULIE: Okay, well, then let me return the favor. Come on, let's go hide out by the crab dip. Maybe we could flirt with one of the bartenders.

COHEN HOUSE

MARISSA: Hi.

RYAN: Hey.

MARISSA: I just wanted to see if you were okay.

RYAN: Yeah. You, uh... you bailed early, too, huh?

MARISSA: Yeah.

RYAN: Come in. So Berkeley didn't live up to the hype?

MARISSA: Yeah, well, it's not really Berkeley's fault. I was sort of asking a lot of it.

RYAN: To take you away from every problem you've ever had here?

MARISSA: Something like that. So, you don't have to tell me, but...

RYAN: Oh, it's Theresa. She did have a baby.

MARISSA: Oh, my God.

RYAN: I haven't talked to her yet, so I'm not sure... if I'm the father or not.

MARISSA: Well, what makes you think you're the father and not Eddie?

RYAN: Uh, because when I was at Berkeley, I... I just felt like I was living somebody else's life, and, um, then I heard the news, and... I don't know. It's like, boom, back to being me.

MARISSA: But when you were at Berkeley, it felt right, didn't it? I could see it on your face.

RYAN: Yeah, yeah, it did.

MARISSA: Well, then you'll get back there... no matter what happens with Theresa.

RESTAURANT

SANDY: Hello, everyone. As the new guy in these circles, I'd like to thank Neil and Julie for inviting us here tonight, and I'd like to welcome you all to lend your talent and expertise to the new hospital, because I am going to need all the help I can get. As you know, behind every successful man is a very surprised woman. I'd like you to meet the former head of the Newport Group and really the brains behind the organization, my lovely wife, Kirsten Cohen.

NEIL: Kirsten, how do you think your husband is doing running the Newport Group?

NEIL: I guess she's still surprised.

KIRSTEN: I'd like to propose a toast. To Sandy Cohen...who has told me countless times over the last year how important this hospital is to him.

JULIE: Ouch.

KIRSTEN: You know, they say that when you grow up, you marry your father. I thought I'd escaped that.

ROBERTS HOUSE

MARISSA: Seth is going to Brown, and he's dating Anna?

SUMMER: I know! Is your brain exploding?

MARISSA: A little. How did he explain himself?

SUMMER: He didn't. Okay, well, he tried to, but you know how I get, Coop. The rage makes it hard to talk, let alone listen.

MARISSA: Well, I mean, don't assume anything until you hear what he has to say. You don't know for sure they're dating.

SUMMER: So how was Berkeley? Was it amazing?

MARISSA: Yeah. I mean, it could be... if I was ready for it. I just don't know that I am.

SUMMER: Well, I believe in you, Coop. I'll see you in eight short hours, okay?

MARISSA: Okay. Bye.

AIRPORT

ANNA: I am beyond happy for you right now. I'm like, uh, Christmas-morning, won-the-lottery level happy for you.

SETH: Well, the RISD guy only said he was impressed.

ANNA: Mm-mm, he said very impressed, and in scenarios like these, verys are important.

SETH: Well, if I get in, it's all 'cause of you.

ANNA: No. It's your comic book. And your plane's about to leave.

SETH: Well, thank you, really. All right.

ANNA: Okay. See you soon. Call me.

SETH: Will do.

COHEN HOUSE

THERESA: Ryan.

RYAN: Hi.

THERESA: I don't know how you found me.

RYAN: Uh, look, I just need to know.

THERESA: He's not yours, Ryan. Eddie's the father. We got a paternity test and everything. I'm sorry that I wasn't honest with you, but I saw how your life opened up when you met the Cohens, and I...

RYAN: Is Eddie helping you out?

THERESA: Are you kidding? That bum.

RYAN: I would've, you know, for what it's worth.

THERESA: I know that.

RYAN: Even if it hadn't have been mine.

THERESA: I know, that's why I didn't tell you. But believe it or not, I'm doing okay on my own.

RYAN: Yeah, seems like it.

THERESA: Yeah.

RYAN: I saw the apartment.

THERESA: Yeah, I got a job at this hotel, and then I got promoted and I got promoted again and again, and suddenly, I have myself a career. RYAN: And a kid: Daniel.

THERESA: Yeah.

RYAN: How is he?

THERESA: How much time do you have?

RYAN: I don't know. You want to go grab a bite and tell me about him?

THERESA: Yeah, I'd like that.

RYAN: Yeah?

THERESA: Yeah. It's good to see you again, Ryan.

RYAN: Yeah, it's good to see you.