04x15 - The Night Moves

[bunniefuu]

At Roberts'

Taylor: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Ryan. Oh, my God.

Ryan: It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's all right. Uh, okay, I'm going to count to three and you're going to get out of here, okay?

Taylor: No, no, no, you're goingto hurt yourself.

Ryan: Don't have a choice. All right, one, two, three.

Taylor: Okay, okay.

Ryan: Go. Go, go, go, go.

Taylor: Ryan Ryan? Are you okay?

Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. You?

Taylor: Yeah. I'm fine, thanks to you. Hey, Ryan?

Ryan: Mm-hmm.

Taylor: I'm sorry I was all, "Oh, my God, Oh, my God." 'Cause usually I'm very good in a crisis. But I just started thinking about if anything happened to you and I don't know what I would do.

Ryan: It's okay, we're both okay.

Taylor: It's just that grace under fire is a very important quality and I don't want you to think that I'm lacking in it, because we might encounter all sorts of crisis when we're away together, like, at college. Oh, my God, is that blood? I faint at the sight of blood.

Ryan: Oh, no, no, no, it's just glitter. Taylor. I'm okay. All that stuff we put on the table just now, let's, uh, let's talk about it later, okay?

Taylor: Right, yeah. That's probably a good idea, when, you know, the power's back on and we're not sitting in rubble.

Ryan: Um, I'm going to call Kirsten and Sandy. Where's my jacket? Oh, gross. Sorry.

Taylor: You know, I've actually stockpiled some rudimentary supplies in case of, you know, the Apocalypse or whatever. I got all sorts of stuff in there. Got extra tennis shoes and flashlights and canned goods and... A space heater...

Ryan: I'm not... Hey... getting good reception here. I'm going to step out in the hall.

Taylor: Okay...

Jettey

Reporter: Yes, Orange County, as you probably figured out, that was an earthquake. So far, no reports of fatalities, but power is out, cell lines are jammed and the roads are for emergency vehicles only. As more information comes in we'll relay it to you. So if you're safe, stay calm and stay put.

Sandy: So we got our marching orders and our staying put orders. So no one's to leave the plaza unless they have to.

Woman: What are we going to do with everyone? People are scared. They'll get hungry. And what about looters?

Sandy: We just have to get organized. Also, keep the radio on and gather up anything you think might be useful: flashlights, blankets, water, batteries, you'll be fine.

Kirsten: I can't get through to either of the boys.

Sandy: Well, keep trying. How about you? We should get you to the hospital.

Kirsten: I'm fine, it's just a bump on the head. Mine. Not his or hers. Ryan, where are you? They're at the Cooper house with Taylor.

Sandy: Tell him to stay there.

Kirsten: Okay. Just stay there, okay.

Sandy: Seth?

Seth: Hey, Dad. Yeah, yeah, we're okay. I wish I could say the same for Ryan's car though. How's Mom? And Ryan? Ryan and Taylor are at your house. Yeah, sounds good, we'll do that. All right, take care.

Summer: Found a flashlight.

Seth: I can see that. Which is good, 'cause we can use it. We're going to have to get back to my house on foot. My dad thinks we should get off the streets.

Summer: Why? Did he hear something? About aftershocks or looters or...

Seth: Zombies? I know, that was my first thought, too. But no, it's just a precaution. It's Ryan.

Summer: Is everyone okay?

Seth: Yeah, we just have to make a little change of plans.

Generic

In the street

Summer: Your dad said to go home.

Seth: But I think we should all be together.

Summer: This is a bad idea.

Seth: We're almost there.

Summer: No, we're not.

Seth: It's just a few more minutes.

Summer: Well, I know where my house is okay? Look, I command you to stop this bike. I'm sorry, okay but I'm starting to get a little creeped out. Not that I don't want to play Pictionary by candlelight and raid Taylor's Apocalypse kit, but I think we should just go to your house.

Seth: Okay, but I'm still awaiting on news of Pancakes.

Summer: Pancakes? You said Ryan said everyone was fine.

Seth: I know, but I don't know that he included rodents in his head count, so I texted him to be sure.

Summer: And?

Seth: And I'm still waiting on the reply.

Summer: Maybe I should pedal. You look a little tired. Fine. Go!

Ice cream shop

Julie: Frank, hi, it's Julie. I hope you're okay. Kaitlin and I are fine, I mean, we're trapped at the ice cream store on the pier, but we're fine. I guess help is probably on the way. Okay, well... take care, bye.

Kaitlin: Look, I understand why you keep on calling Summer and the Cohens, but why Frank? I mean, weren't you guys supposed to take it down a notch?

Julie: Kaitlin, just because we're pulling things back a little bit doesn't mean that we've stopped caring about each other. I'm sure wherever Frank is, he's worried about us, just like I am about him. And

Kaitlin: I am about myself, because we're stuck here with him.

Gary: The back door is stuck, too. Looks like there's no way out. We're trapped.

Kaitlin: Figures.

Julie: We can't just sit here waiting to be rescued.

Kaitlin: Totally. No, we should start eating all the melting ice cream. I want a gold medal ribbon on a...

Gary: Sugar cone, I know.

Kaitlin: Creepy, but convenient. Okay, ice-cream guy, start scooping.

Gary: It's Gary, my name.

Julie: Okay. I'm thinking the roof, or where the roof used to be. Ice-cream guy, got a ladder?

Gary: You can't climb up there.

Julie: I'm not going to, you are.

At Roberts'

Taylor: And this is my personal safety device. It's a flashlight, it's a radio, it's a cell phone charger, it's a siren and it's a compass. Hmm. North is that way.

Ryan: Handy.

Taylor: Also got canned goods, batteries, water, ooh, a gas mask and-- that's right-- North Korean currency, because you just never know. Hey, why are you wearing a jacket? Are you cold? Let me get my space blanket. It preserves up to 80% body heat.

Reporter: A bit of bad news just in. Our first fatality. Not a lot of information, a pedestrian hit by a downed power li...

Ryan: No reason to think its anyone we know.

Taylor: Yeah, of course not. Still, aren't families supposed to reach out to each other in times of uncertainty?

Ryan: I know the phones are messed up, but you were able to get through to Sandy and he was able to get through to Seth. Uh, right, you're worried about your mom.

Taylor: Yeah. She gave birth to me. If I'm worried she may be hurt, then shouldn't she be worried about me? I think we need to go over there and check on her.

Ryan: To her house?

Taylor: Yes, Ryan. I know my mom is a total bitch, but she's still my mom, and she doesn't drink a lot of milk so her bones are probably very brittle and she's always been kind of scared of the dark...

Ryan: Taylor, Taylor, we can't go over there. Seth and Summer are coming over here.

Taylor: What? Since when?

Ryan: Since Seth texted me. He said that they were.

Taylor: I thought Sandy said it was safest for us to stay where we are.

Ryan: No, no, no, Sandy said that it's safer for all of us to be together.

Yatch club

Sandy: All right, folks, we got to remain calm and we got to remain here. Anyone in need of medical attention, please identify yourself to this gentleman, and everyone who is willing to help anyone who might need it, please come over and introduce yourself to me. The good news is, we got everything we need here. We got shelter, we got food, we got water. We got fine literature, chips and salsa, so if we all stay together, we can get through this no problem. All right?

Kirsten: This is like Berkeley 1989.

Sandy: Oh, you say that so warmly.

Kirsten: Not that I'm fond of natural disasters, but there is nothing sexier than your husband calming an angry mob.

Sandy: Now, are you okay?

Kirsten: Yeah, I know I've been complaining about Newport a lot lately, but it just breaks my heart to see it like this. I'm going to pass these out.

Sandy: All right. Hello?

Frank: Oh, hey, Sandy, I'm glad I finally got a hold of you. Are you with Ryan?

Sandy: Oh, no, Frank, but he's at the Cooper house with Taylor. He's fine, we're all fine.

Frank: That's great news. And Julie and Kaitlin, they're at the house too, right?

Sandy: That I don't know.

Frank: Do you have any idea where they might be?

Sandy: I'm sorry, I don't, but I'm sure they're going to try to get in touch with you, and if I hear anything at all, I'll call you.

Frank: I... yeah, yeah, thanks, Sandy. Great.

Ice cream shop

Julie: Okay, Gary, how's it look up there? Can you climb down and get some help?

Gary: Um... not really.

Julie: Why not? What's going on?

Gary: We're on an island, all alone.

Kaitlin: Look, we appreciate the imagery and all that, but this is no time for existential metaphors.

Gary: No. Really. The pier's been washed out.

At Roberts'

Taylor: Summer, you're okay!

Summer: I am so glad to see you.

Seth: Hey, where's Ryan?

Taylor: He's...

Ryan: Hey.

Summer: Hey, Atwood. I got to look for Pancakes.

Taylor: Oh, my God! Pancakes! I'm gonna go with you.

Seth: Great. While you guys do that, Ryan and I will, uh...

Ryan: Go.

Seth: Yeah, we're gonna go.

Taylor: Where are you gonna go?

Summmer: Yeah, we just got here.

Seth: Well, we need supplies.

Taylor: I have supplies.

Ryan: No, I know, but, uh, who knows how long those will last.

Seth: Yeah, and there'll probably be a run, especially when the zombies come out.

Ryan: Look, guys, we'll be fine. Just stay here, lock the doors and don't open them.

Seth: Summer, Pancakes needs you right now.

Summer: Be careful.

Seth: 'Kay, come back soon. Okay.

Ryan: What's up?

***

Taylor: Don't you think the boys were acting weird?

Summer: The shifty looks, finishing eachother's sentences like they're composing a lie on the spot?

Taylor: Yes.

Summer: Totally normal for them.

Taylor: I don't know, I feel lik they're hiding something.

Summer: If it's not the location of Pancakes, I'm not interested. Oh, no. He was in his cage. He's gone! Oh, no. Pancakes? Pancakes? Pancakes?

***

Ryan: Okay, I didn't want to worry Taylor. She's pretty upset, and she's got this thing about blood.

Seth: Blood?

Ryan: Yeah. Don't freak, okay? I-I-I need you to not freak.

Seth: Okay. Why would I freak out?

Ryan: It's not that bad, is it?

Seth: Dude, it's bad.

In the car

Ryan: Seth, the hospital is, like, a mile away.

Seth: I know, which is why I'm taking the secret back roads way that's only a half mile. That was sarcasm. I'm pretty sure my shortcut got us lost.

Ryan: Well, the ocean's on one side, the land's on the other. I'm sure you'll figure it out. That was sarcasm, too. Sorry.

Seth: No, hey, so you're a little on edge. A giant glass spear in the back will do that to a guy.

Ryan: It's not a spear.

Seth: What is it, more of a spike or a skewer?

Ryan: Dude, you're doing a terrible job of trying to keep my mind off the pain. You're supposed to talk about something else, not the thing causing the pain.

Seth: True, but the real question is, what are you doing to keep my mind off of your pain? 'Cause right now you're not looking too good and I'm starting to feel... What was that?

Ryan: Uh, seems like we hit something.

Seth: Oh, God, not a body.

Ryan: All right, well, pull over or something. All right, go out and check, I guess.

Seth: With the zombies?

Ryan: You watch way too many movies.

Ice cream shop

Gary: You guys are amazing.

Julie: Uh, no. We're not.

Kaitlin: No. It's just something we do.

Julie: I used to sing that to Kaitlin when she was little and scared.

Gary: Isn't that, uh, kind of inappropriate? I mean, given the sexual content of the lyrics.

Kaitlin: Well, it was the only song she knew all the words to.

Julie: That and "Pour Some Sugar on Me."

Gary: Ah. Well, this is really fun. Staying up late, eating sweets, singing songs. It's like summer camp. Coed summer camp with really hot camp counselors.

Kaitlin: No offense, Gary, but this is barely entertaining me.

Julie: Yeah, Gary, young guy in Newport, cool job... you must have a lot of fun.

Gary: Not really.

Kaitlin: No friends?

Julie: No girls?

Gary: Well... there is one girl.

Julie: Oh, well, you only need one, as long as it's a good one.

Gary: She's an amazing one.

Kaitlin: Well, are you guys serious?

Gary: Pretty serious. You know, thinking about taking it to the next level.

Julie: Oh, the next level. That's very serious.

Kaitlin: Yeah, you haven't asked her out yet, have you?

Gary: Not yet, no.

Kaitlin: Well, what's the holdup? I mean, if she's as hot as she sounds.

Gary: It's not her. It's me. She's a great girl. And I'm... the ice cream guy.

Julie: Oh, what the hell; we have nothing better to do.

Kaitlin: Yep, today is your lucky day.

Gary: Awesome! I mean, wait, what do you mean?

Julie: Well, first, we have to get rid of that dorky bow tie.

Kaitlin: Yeah, and an apron is friend to no man.

Julie: Surely we can do something with this hair. I think I have some nail scissors in my purse, hmm?

In the car

Seth: I can't get anyone on the phone.

Ryan: Eh, that's okay, I'll, uh, I'll walk you through it. Just open up the back door. It's easy, don't worry about it.

Seth: Ryan, you're asking me to use tools and exert myself physically. I think we both know where this is going.

Ryan: Yeah, okay, well, uh, start by putting the jack under the frame by the, uh, by the door there. Yeah.

Seth: The jack is this thing with the handle, right?

Ryan: Yeah. Actually, wait. First, um... loosen the bolts with that wrench. All right.

Seth: There we go. Okay. All right, you may find this hard to believe, Ryan, but when I was younger, I used to be a bit of a worrier. You don't say. To distract myself from worrying, I would sometimes make lists. Didn't matter what the lists were. They could be anything-- every cereal I've ever eaten, or... uh, the names of every planet mentioned in Star Wars. Whatever.

Ryan: Anyways... You want to make a list, Seth?

Seth: Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever. I mean, sure, if you want to. We could start with everyone you've ever punched in the face since moving to Newport. First would be... Luke at Holly's beach house.

Ryan: Yeah, and number two would be Luke.

Seth: Right. At the diner.

Ryan: Yeah, and again at the mall.

Seth: What about Holly's dad at Cotillion?

Ryan: That was more of a tackle.

Seth: Which takes us back to Luke.

Ryan: Yeah, in T.J.

At Roberts'

Taylor: Summer, do you really think Pancakes is in the attic? Like he pulled down the ladder, hopped up and-and then put it away?

Summer: Well, we have checked everywhere else. Light.

Taylor: Be careful. Oh... gross.

Summer: It's okay.

Taylor: What is that?

Summer: That's Uncle Alistair.

Taylor: That's your uncle?

Summer: Yeah. No. It's, uh, my dad's skeleton from med school. He called him Uncle Alistair. I don't know why.

Taylor: God, well, I don't want to meet any of your other relatives, so let's just find Pancakes and go.

Summer: Okay. Pancakes. Pancakes. Don't be afraid. It's just me.

Taylor: Summer, you're such a good mother.

Summer: Thanks.

Taylor: When I think of the lengths that you're going to to save your adopted rabbit son, and my own mother can't even pick up the phoneand send me a text message saying, "Hi. Are you alive?"

Summer: That's okay, you have us now. Seth and I rode on a bicycle just so we could be here together, and Julie and Kaitlin left a message and the Cohens asked about you.

Taylor: Yeah, I know you're right.

Summer: You know, if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's you make your own family. It seems to me that you've scraped together quite an awesome one.

Taylor: Wait.

Summer: What?

Taylor: You hear that?

Summer: Where?

Taylor: In the vent.

Summer: It's Pancakes. Pancakes? Pancakes? Here. Pancakes? Pancakes? Um, stay there, Pancakes. Let's pry this open. Okay. Pancakes? There he is!

Taylor: It's an aftershock-- it'll stop in a second.

Ice cream shop

Kaitlin: Oh, my God.

Yatch club

Sandy:: Kirsten? Kirsten? Kirsten?

Woman: Over here, Mr. Cohen.

Sandy: Kirsten.

Kirsten: Sandy. Something is not right. I could have lost the baby.

In the car

Seth: Nothing works. It's like an information blackout.

Ryan: Well, the aftershock probably took out a power line or something.

Seth: So listen, I'm going to go on foot and get help, I think.

Ryan: No, no, no.

Seth: Well, we can't stay here. I don't even know where here is.

Ryan: Well, I'm going with you.

Seth: No, it's cool. Listen, I'm going to come back as soon as I can. Promise.

Ryan: What about the zombies?

Seth: That's a really good point. Okay. All right, buddy. We have to keep you alert and on your feet. Now, when last we checked the list... Need some help?

Ryan: Yeah.

Seth: ...we were on Trey. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we went from Trey to a lengthy Volchok period.

Ryan: Hey, thanks for this.

Seth: Yeah. Now, unless you hit that Chili guy or Johnny I know a lot of people were rooting for that.

Ryan: Well, I did punch Johnny's dad. Or a bounty hunter who worked for him.

Seth: Johnny's dad was a bounty hunter?

Ryan: Oh, yeah. I never told you that?

At the hospital

Sandy: Excuse me, Doctor. My wife needs to see someone right away.

Doctor: What happened?

Kirsten: I fell down some stairs.

Doctor: You break anything?

Kirsten: I don't think so, but...

Sandy: She needs help.

Doctor: Everyone here needs help, sir. You can fill out this form and wait your turn.

Sandy: She's pregnant.

Doctor: Any bleeding?

Kirsten: No, but something isn't... isn't right.

Doctor: I'm sorry. Try to make yourself comfortable.

Sandy: Hang on a second.

Kirsten: Sandy...

Sandy: Hang on one second, all right? I'll be right back. Excuse me, Doctor. My wife would never complain. She would never put her needs in front of anybody else's. But I am not that proud. I am not that selfless. I am begging you,please, please, to give her and our baby priority.

Doctor: I'd like to help, really, but...

Man: You can have my spot. That's me. Go.

Sandy: Thank you. Honey.

Ice cream shop

Kaitlin: Oh, great. We're out of candles, and now the ice cream is melted.

Julie: Honey, please. Stop worrying.

Kaitlin: Stop worrying? We're about to be washed out to sea.

Julie: I'm sorry. You're right.

Kaitlin: I'm... I'm right? I thought I was exaggerating.

Julie: I'm going up there.

Kaitlin: To do what? To go swim out to shore?

Julie: I don't know. Assess the situation... figure it out. I'm your mother. It's my job.

Gary: Wait. You can't do that.

Julie: Why not?

Gary: Because... I'm having an asthma att*ck... from the stress!

Julie: Oh, my... Oh, my God. Do you have an inhaler? Or like an Epi pen? I could s*ab you.

Gary: Maybe... we could just... sing "Night Moves"? I think it might calm me.

Kaitlin: Really?

Gary: Please.

Julie: That's good. That's good. That's good.

Kaitlin: Okay, I think he needs, like, CPR or something. I learned this when I was in Junior Lifeguard. Oh! Gross! What the heck was the tongue for? He tried to kiss me!

Gary: I'm sorry.

Julie: Young man, what is going on? Oh, my. The girl you like?

Kaitlin: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

At Roberts'

Taylor: Pancakes!

Summer: I think I hear something this way.

Taylor: Summer, how come we keep looking for Pancakes when there's a giant elephant in the room?

Summer: We walk around the elephant. It may be big, but we are crafty.

Taylor: The boys should have been back over an hour ago. Aren't you worried?

Summer: No, I'm not worried. I'm freaking terrified, okay? That's why I'm focusing on just finding Pancakes and not about the fact that my boyfriend could be laying on the side of the road ravaged by zombies.

Taylor: Okay, well, let's go look for them.

Summer: In what? They took the only car. Have you thought of that?

Taylor: Well, let's listen to the radio and see if there's any news.

Summer: The radio stopped working with the aftershock.

Taylor: What was that?

Summer: Pancakes? Maybe it was Ryan and Seth.

Taylor: Why would they need to break a window?

Summer: I don't know. What do we do? Quick, hide!

Taylor: Shh! No, no, no. Summer, wait. I've got a betteridea. Summer, come here.

Ice cream shop

Julie: You received a makeover under false pretenses.

Kaitlin: You lied about having asthma.

Julie: Do you even like Bob Seger?

Gary: I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. I mean, I do know, but I'm embarrassed. Kaitlin, you come in here all the time, and you look right through me like I don't even exist.

Kaitlin: I'm sorry.

Gary: Don't be. I mean, why would a girl like you pay any attention to a guy like me? I know the only reason you'd ever get to know me is if you had no choice. Tonight, that happened, and it felt like fate. I didn't want it to end.

Kaitlin: I guess, I mean, that's understandable.

Julie: But what do you mean, you didn't want it to end? What the...?

Kaitlin: Mom...

Julie: It's okay. Frank!

Frank: Just got your message. I was so worried.

Julie: Oh, me, too!

Kaitlin: Go for it. There was a flipping earthquake.

Julie: But wait. How did you get here? What about the pier?

Frank: What about it? The pier is fine.

At the hospital

Doctor: There's a heartbeat.

Kirsten: Thank God.

Doctor: The baby is under stress and, after a fall, there can be a rupture. Separation.

Sandy: Can you treat that?

Doctor: We still have some more tests to run.

In the street

Seth: Okay, I've always wondered this. In your opinion, who is a better food industry server? Chloe, the magical waitress from Albuquerque, or Donny, the angry busboy who sh*t Luke?

Ryan: I'll go with Chloe on that one.

Seth: Good. That's what I figured. That's what I figured. Okay. Okay. Desert island. Sadie, the tough as nails yet soulful jewelry maker or Lindsay, my grandfather's illegitimate, bookish love child?

Ryan: I can't, Seth.

Seth: Sure... sure you can. It's very easy.

Ryan: Go on. Just go.

Seth: I'm not going to go alone.

Ryan: We need help, man. I need help. Just sit me down, okay?

Seth: All right. Okay, but I'm going to come right back.

Ryan: I know.

At Roberts'

Summer: Do you hear that?

Taylor: No.

Summer: Exactly. It's quiet now. Maybe they moved on.

Taylor: Or... maybe they're just faking us out. There we go. Locked and loaded. Just how mama likes it.

Summer: Taylor, a g*n? Where did you get that? Are you crazy?

Taylor: It's Jimmy Cooper's flare g*n. I found it in the hall closet when I was looking for rain gear.

Symmer: Yeah, but it's not raining.

Taylor: Well, this was last November. What? Jimmy doesn't need it anymore, and it's cold, and it's shiny, and it feels so good in my... Here. You try it.

Summer: Eww! I'm not touching your p*stol. That is stupid and dangerous. Oh, my God. Go 187 on that zombie ass.

Taylor: It's in the kitchen. Follow me. Stop or I'll sh**t!

Veronica: Oh, my God! I've been hit!

Taylor: Mom?

Veronica: Taylor, you sh*t me!

***

Veronica: I came here because I was worried about you.

Taylor: I know, Mom, and it really means a lot to me that you did.

Veronica: Save it that's the last maternal instinct I'll ever have, since you sh*t me.

Taylor: It was just a toe nick. You're totally fine.

Veronica: Until sandal season! Taylor, I'm going to have to see a plastic surgeon right away.

Taylor: I already told you, there's no way to get you to the hospital. You're just going to have to tough it out!

Summer: Pancakes is hurt!

Veronica: What? Oh, no! A rabbit?

Summer: I found him in the garage, and he was limping.

Taylor: Let me see. Careful. Baby, come here. Let me see. You know, he seems like he's okay. Maybe it's just a sprain.

Summer: No, I can't take a chance, okay? I have to go get him help.

Taylor: Summer, you can't. It's too dangerous.

Summer: I cannot wait here any longer, okay? I have a missing boyfriend and a sick rabbit. I cannot listen to any more of your mother's whining.

Taylor: Okay, I'll go with you. We'll brave the zombies together. Mom, we're going to need to take Pancakes to the hospital.

Veronica: Wait. This carrion gets help, but not me?

Taylor: We don't have a car, you can't walk. There is no way to get you there.

Veronica: Taylor, I risked my life and hoofed it all the way from Emerald Bay, and you're just going to leave me here to rot?

Summer: I have an idea, but I don't think you're going to like it.

***

Veronica: This is not okay with me.

Summer: Well, I told you you wouldn't like it.

Taylor: Mom, it's not that far to the hospital, and it's kind of this or nothing.

Veronica: Fine, but I'm not holding the rabbit... unless you promise I can make a vest out of him.

Summer: I'll carry Pancakes.

Ice cream shop

Gary: Kaitlin, if you'll just listen...

Kaitlin: I heard you, you're sorry. I get it.

Gary: Truthfully, I'm not sorry. Tonight was the best night of my life.

Kaitlin: Gary...

Gary: Given the chance, I'd do everything exactly the same.

Julie: Kaitlin, honey, you coming?

Kaitlin: Oh, yeah, just give me one second.

Julie: Okay, we'll wait for you in the car.

Kaitlin: Look, I should go. But I am into ice cream, and you're obviously hooked up as far as that goes. And the makeover was pretty successful. And the asthma att*ck had me completely fooled.

Gary: Sweet.

Kaitlin: So I guess once you guys get this place back up and running, I'll come stop by.

Gary: Gold Medal Ribbon on the house. Best... earthquake... ever.

Hospital

Sandy: Dr. Harris, are those my wife's tests?

Doctor: Oh, no, Mr. Cohen, it's going to be awhile before we get the results.

Sandy: Oh, of course, it's just a little bit too soon for that. I know you have your hands full.

Doctor: Yes, we have a pretty full house right now.

Sandy: Well, as soon as you know anything, you know, good or bad... if you could please let me know.

Doctor: I will, of course.

Sanndy: Let me know first, just so I can prepare my wife.

Doctoc: Of course. Thank you.

Sandy: I mean, it's kind of crazy in that we have two other boys that are just going off to college, so we were expecting to have an empty nest, you know, when then, all of a sudden, this unplanned, miraculous event and, well, uh, the fact of the matter is, I can't imagine anything worse than an empty nest so, uh... Anything you can do for that, uh, for that little baby, please, do it. I'll get out of your hair right now, okay?

Doctor: I'll come find you.

Sandy: I'll be right there, all right?

Doctor: Okay. Thank you.

Sandy: Yes, of course.

In the street

Darryl: You feel that?

Seth: Darryl?

Darryl: Hey, Seth. How's the earthquake treating you?

Seth: Uh, not too well. I need to ask for your help.

Darryl: Sure, but how can I help you?

Seth: Well, I'm guessing you don't have a, uh, like, a car or a walkie-talkie?

Darryl: This shopping cart's my only worldly possession.

Seth: Okay, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you for it.

Darryl: Sorry, no way. I'll give you my pants.

Seth: No, no, they look better on you. Listen. It has a flat tire and possibly a broken axle, but it's a $70,000 car and it's all yours in exchange for the cart.

Darryl: Sweet.

Seth: Stay here, I'll come back to draw you a map.

At the hospital

Doctor: Because it's a rabbit.

Summer: It's a he, and I'm aware of his species. but that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel pain and that he isn't hurt. Please, if you have a shred of humanity, or animality in your body, you won't deprive this poor, little, adorable bunny of quality medical care.

Doctor: Well, I did do a year of veterinarian school.

Summer: Really?

Doctor: Maybe if there's an X-ray machine free, I'll...

Summer: Thank you. Thank you.

In the car

Julie: I still can't believe that guy kept us there for no reason.

Frank: I don't know. I think his reasons are pretty good. When a guy gets around a girl he's crazy about, sometimes reason goes out the window. He forgets to take things slow.

Kaitlin: Well, sometimes, when a girl gets around a guy she's not too crazy about, she does some pretty stupid things, too. I'm sorry for posting your mug sh*t up in the ladies' room at Taylor's birthday.

Frank: Well, it showed a lot of creativity.

Julie: Speaking of creativity, Kaitlin... clown p*rn?

Frank: I'm not even going to ask where that came from.

Kaitlin: I found it in Dr. Robert's study. You guys will believe absolutely anything. Hey, Frank, have you ever considered cutting your hair?

Julie: Is that Seth?

Kaitlin: Oh, my God, pull over.

At the hospital

Taylor: Mom, I'm really sorry I sh*t you. I know we don't always get along, but... I really love you.

Veronica: I love you, too.

Taylor: I... don't think I've ever heard you say that before.

Veronica: Taylor, that's why I went to Julie's. After the earthquake happened, all I could think about was you.

Taylor: Oh, my God, Mom, me, too.

Veronica: I was sh*t because I was such a total failure as a mother. It never even occurred to you that I would come looking for you.

Taylor: But you did. So...

Veronica: So.

Taylor: Mom...

***

Seth: Hi. I guess this is the point where I'm supposed to tell you that you gave us all quite a scare, except I was never scared.

Ryan: Oh, yeah, I know that. Me, on the other hand...

Seth: The doctors say you're going to be fine. Although you're going to have to wrap your head around the fact that we're really brothers now. We're blood brothers.

Ryan: You donated blood?

Seth: Ah, I had an extra few pints flowing through my veins. It was no big deal.

Ryan: You're not a big fan of needles.

Seth: Nor of fainting, it turns out. But the bank was a little low and us O-negative guys got to stick together.

Ryan: That's weird, 'cause all of a sudden I have this strange urge to listen to Death Cab and read comic books.

Seth: Really?

Ryan: No, I'm kidding.

Seth: Oh, that's too bad, 'cause if we could have turned this into a body-swap comedy, we could have squeezed another year or two out of this.

Ryan: So listen, I don't know if I've said this at all today, but...

Seth: You did. But after all the times you've saved me, I was up, so...

Ryan: All right. Where's everyone else? How are, how are the girls? Kirsten, Sandy?

Seth: Uh, the girls are fine. Veronica Townsend and Pancakes, however, have matching casts. And Frank is here with Julie and Kaitlin. He gave me a ride, brought you here. Um, but my mom and dad are doing some tests with the doctor, 'cause she fell.

Ryan: Is it bad?

Sandy: Hey, boys.

Seth: Mom.

Ryan: I'm so sorry.

Kirsten: Everything's fine. The baby's okay. She's okay.

Seth: She?

Sandy: It's a girl.

Beach

Darryl: Sweet. Cool.

At Cohen's

Sandy: Well, looks like the old girl held up pretty good.

Kirsten: I can't wait to have a hot shower with the hot water we don't have.

Ryan: I'll settle for sleeping in my own bed.

Seth: Or sleeping anywhere.

Sandy: Come on, I'll fire up the grill, we'll get the camp stove going, it'll be fun. Oh my God !

The Cohens find their home in ruins.

End of the episode.