ENGLAND, 1842
EXT. BACK GARDEN, DAY
Children are playing in the snow, having a snowball fight. One boy, WALTER, is by himself building a snowman. His MOTHER comes up behind him.
MOTHER: Walter? Don't you want to go and play with the other boys and girls? They're very nice.
WALTER: I don't need anyone else.
WALTER'S UNCLE JOSH comes out of the building and stands next to the WOMAN.
MOTHER: (to UNCLE JOSH) He never talks to anyone. He's so alone. It's not right. It's not healthy.
The couple heads back inside.
WALTER: (to SNOWMAN) I don't want to talk to them. They're silly.
SNOWMAN: They're silly.
WALTER looks around to see if someone is playing a prank on him. The other children are still playing.
SNOWMAN: Don't talk to them. They're silly.
WALTER runs away but stops when the SNOWMAN speaks again.
SNOWMAN: Don't need anyone else. I can help you.
WALTER: (walks back) How?
50 YEARS LATER
EXT. LONDON ALLEY, NIGHT
An older, stern-faced WALTER SIMEON stands impassive as he watches men scrape snow from snowmen into jars. The jars are then placed in a carriage which bears the insignia “GI”.
EXT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, NIGHT
The carriage arrives at the elegant building behind high wrought iron fences.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
SIMEON enters the office holding a jar and walks towards a large globe on top of a large dais at one side of the room. Electricity crackles around it.
SIMEON: The last of the arrivals have been sampled.
INTELLIGENCE: (the same voice as the snowman) The great swarm is approaching. As humanity celebrates, so shall it end. Will the final piece be ready?
SIMEON opens a small door on the globe and empties the jar of snow inside.
SIMEON: It's in hand. I serve you in this, as in everything else.
INTELLIGENCE: And do you keep my secrets, those men who helped us tonight?
SIMEON: It won't be a problem. I promised to feed them.
EXT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, NIGHT
The men are gathered in a courtyard and look up as SIMEON steps out on a balcony.
MAN: Beg pardon, Dr Simeon... it's been a long day. I don't see any food here.
SIMEON: I do.
Snowmen burst up from the ground, surrounding the men, baring their teeth.
MAN: What is this?
SIMEON: I said I'd feed you. I didn't say who to.
The gathered men scream in anguish and we hear the snowmen growl and snarl. SIMEON walks away.
INT. ROSE & CROWN, NIGHT
The pub is doing a good business. One of the barmaids, CLARA, collects empty tankards on a tray.
EXT. ROSE & CROWN, NIGHT
CLARA brings the tankards outside. She hears a noise and sets the tray down on a barrel. She looks and sees a snowman standing there. A MAN walks past.
CLARA: Did you make this snowman?
MAN: No. (keeps walking)
CLARA: Well, who did? Cos it wasn't there a second ago. It just appeared, from nowhere.
The MAN stops and turns around. It is the DOCTOR in Victorian garb. He walks backs to CLARA and slips on a pair of glasses – the ones Amy left behind. He looks at the snowman and pinches some snow off it.
DOCTOR: Maybe it's snow that fell before. Maybe it remembers how to make snowmen.
CLARA: What, snow that can remember? That's silly.
DOCTOR: What's wrong with silly?
CLARA: Nothing. Still talking to you, ain't I?
The DOCTOR smiles and takes off the glasses.
DOCTOR: What's your name?
CLARA: Clara.
DOCTOR: Nice name, Clara. You should definitely keep it. (walks away) Goodbye!
After a pause, CLARA chases after him.
CLARA: Oi! (plants hands on hips) Where are you going? I thought we were just getting acquainted.
DOCTOR: (turns around) Those were the days. (walks away)
CLARA turns back for the pub and pauses when she hears a carriage driver call to the horses. She looks down the way the DOCTOR walked, throws down her shawl and runs after him. She spots the carriage and runs after it.
INT. CARRIAGE, NIGHT
The DOCTOR sits in the carriage, an old-fashioned speaker hanging from the roof. VASTRA'S voice comes over the speaker.
VASTRA: 'How refreshing to see you taking an interest again. Was she nice?'
DOCTOR: I just spoke to her.
VASTRA: 'And made your usual impact, no doubt.'
DOCTOR: No, no impact at all. Those days are over.
VASTRA: 'You can't help yourself.'
CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH–
CUT TO:
INT. VASTRA'S CONSERVATORY, NIGHT
VASTRA is sitting and speaking into a disguised communication device.
VASTRA: It's the same story, every time. And it always begins with the same two words.
DOCTOR: She'll never be able to find me again, she doesn't even have the name. Doctor - what two words?
CLARA drops her head through the flap at the top of the carriage.
CLARA: Doctor? Doctor who?
Matt Smith
Jenna-Louise Coleman
DOCTOR WHO
"The Snowmen"
By
Steven Moffat
PRODUCER
Marcus Wilson
DIRECTOR
Saul Metzstein
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
A carriage progresses slowly through the streets.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
The carriage arrives in front of the Latimer house and Captain LATIMER steps down. The carriage drives away. The maid ALICE greets him at the door.
ALICE: Good evening, sir.
WALTER: (pauses and looks at frozen pond) Pond's frozen over. Hasn't frozen since the night...
SIMEON steps out of the house to stand beside LATIMER.
SIMEON: Since the night your children's governess d*ed, a year ago.
LATIMER looks to ALICE.
ALICE: Dr Simeon, sir - he insisted on waiting.
SIMEON: (looks straight ahead at pond) She drowned in this very pond, which then froze. You didn't find her till a month later, when the ice finally melted.
LATIMER: I recall the incident. It is the sort of thing one remembers.
SIMEON: The ice remembers too.
LATIMER: Who are you? What do you want here?
SIMEON holds up a business card and LATIMER takes it.
SIMEON: The pond is yours, Captain Latimer, but what is growing inside it, when it is ready, is ours. Good evening. (leaves)
The ice on the pond creaks as it thickens.
EXT. LONDON ALLEY, NIGHT
SIMEON walks along but is blocked by a woman clad in figure-hugging black leather. It is JENNY.
JENNY: Well, Dr Simeon, you're out very late tonight.
A second figure walks up behind SIMEON dressed in a black gown with her face hidden behind a veil. It is VASTRA.
VASTRA: Almost makes you wonder what you've been up to. But then, I have often wondered about the activities of Dr Simeon and his exceptionally secretive Institute.
SIMEON: Well, I am honoured this evening. The veiled detective and her fatuous accomplice.
JENNY: (curtseys mockingly) At your service.
SIMEON: You realise Dr Doyle is almost certainly basing his fantastical tales on your own exploits? With a few choice alterations, of course. I doubt the readers of The Strand magazine would accept that the great detective is, in reality... (lifts VASTRA'S veil) a woman. And her suspiciously intimate companion...
VASTRA: I resent your implication of impropriety! We are married.
JENNY: More than can be said for you, eh, dear?
VASTRA: Now then - this snow is interesting, don't you think? (picks up some snow from the top of a barrel) The ice crystals seem to have a low level telepathic field. Almost as if it can detect and respond to the thoughts and memories of the people around it. Memory snow. Snow that learns.
SIMEON: How fascinating.
VASTRA lets the snow fall through her fingers.
VASTRA: I hope it's listening to the right people. It could be a terrible w*apon in the wrong hands, don't you think?
SIMEON: I think winter is coming. Such a winter as this world has never known. The last winter of humankind. Do you know why I'm telling you all this?
VASTRA: I am intrigued.
SIMEON: Because there is not a single thing you can do to stop it. (walks away)
VASTRA: Perhaps I can't, but I know a man who can.
SIMEON: (pauses) I look forward to meeting him. (walks away)
JENNY: Do you mean the Doctor? He won't help us, he never helps any more, you know that.
VASTRA: Yes, my dear, I do, so pray for a miracle because I think we are going to need him.
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
The Great Intelligence Institute is under observation with futuristic technology. The binoculars are lowered and we see it is STRAX.
STRAX: They've taken samples from snowmen all over London. What do you suppose they're doing in there?
The DOCTOR is squatting, running the snow through his fingers.
DOCTOR: This snow is new. Possibly alien. When you find something brand new in the world, something you've never seen before, what's the next thing you look for?
STRAX: A grenade?
DOCTOR: A profit. (stands) That's Victorian values for you! (faces STRAX)
STRAX: I suggest a full frontal as*ault with automated laser monkeys, scalpel mines and acid.
DOCTOR: Why?
STRAX: Couldn't we at least investigate?
DOCTOR: It's none of our business.
STRAX: Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?
DOCTOR: (leans against a shop-front) Permission granted.
STRAX: Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.
CLARA: (muffled) Let me out of here!
DOCTOR: Thank you, Strax. And if ever I'm in need of advice from a psychotic potato-dwarf,(takes STRAX'S head in his hands) you'll certainly be the first to know. (releases STRAX)
STRAX: But if the snow is new and alien, shouldn't we be making some attempt to destroy it? Be reasonable!
The DOCTOR puts a finger to STRAX'S lips. Behind them, we see the carriage rocking back and forth.
CLARA: (muffled) Let me out!
DOCTOR: It is not our problem. Over a thousand years of saving the universe, Strax, you know the one thing I learned? The universe doesn't care.
CLARA: (muffled) Oi, Doctor! Let me out!
DOCTOR: Now, we have a problem of our own to worry about...(walks to the carriage)
CLARA: (muffled) Let me out! Oi!
The DOCTOR opens the carriage door and CLARA presses against the opposite side. The DOCTOR sits across from her.
DOCTOR: Don't worry. No-one's going to hurt you.
CLARA: (sees STRAX) What is that thing?
STRAX: Silence, boy!
DOCTOR: That's Strax and as you can see, he's easily confused.
STRAX: Silence, girl. Sorry, lad.
DOCTOR: Sontaran. Clone warrior race - factory produced, whole legions at a time. Two genders is a bit further than he can count.
STRAX: Sir, do not discuss my reproductive cycle in front of enemy girls! It's embarrassing.
DOCTOR: (whispers to CLARA) Typical middle child of six million.
CLARA: Who are you?
DOCTOR: It doesn't matter because you're about to forget that you and I ever met. (to STRAX) We'll need the worm.
STRAX: Sir. (leaves)
CLARA: You'll need the what? The worm? What worm?
DOCTOR: Don't worry, it won't hurt, but one touch on your bare skin and you'll lose the last hour of your memory.
STRAX returns empty-handed.
DOCTOR: Where is it?
STRAX: Where's what, sir?
DOCTOR: I sent you to get the memory worm.
STRAX: Did you? When? Who's he? What are we doing here? Look, it's been snowing!
DOCTOR: You didn't use the gauntlets, did you?
STRAX: Why would I need the gauntlets? Do you want me to get the memory worm?
LATER
STRAX is under the carriage looking for the worm. The DOCTOR and CLARA stand by and watch.
DOCTOR: Can you see it?
STRAX: I think I can hear it.
The DOCTOR looks over at CLARA who is trying to hide a smile.
DOCTOR: Oi, (points) don't try to run away, stay where you are.
CLARA: Why would I run? I know what's going to happen next - and it's funny.
DOCTOR: What's funny?
CLARA: Your little pal, for a start. Ugly little fella, isn't he?
DOCTOR: Maybe. He gave his life for a friend of mine once.
CLARA: Then how come he's alive?
DOCTOR: Another friend brought him back. I'm not sure all his brains made the return trip!
CLARA: Neither am I.
STRAX: I can see it.
DOCTOR: Oooh! Can you reach it? Have you got it?
STRAX: Got what, sir?
CLARA: (picks up a pair of large gloves) Because these are the gauntlets, aren't they?
STRAX: Sir! Emergency! I think I've been run over by a cab!
LATER
The DOCTOR stands up with the squirming worm in the grasp of the gauntlets.
DOCTOR: There you go. One touch and you lose about an hour of your memory. Let it bite you and you could lose decades. (shoves the worm in a jar) And you're still not trying to run.
CLARA: I don't understand how the snowman built itself. I'll run once you've explained.
DOCTOR: Clara who?
CLARA: Doctor who?
DOCTOR: Oh, dangerous question.
CLARA: What's wrong with dangerous?
DOCTOR: The snow emits a low level telepathic field...
As the DOCTOR explains, CLARA turns her head just as a snowman appears.
CLARA: My snowman...
DOCTOR: …seems to reflect people's thoughts and memories and because it's unusual, somehow it carries a previous shape and...
CLARA: No, Doctor! (grabs the DOCTOR by the arm and points at the snowman) My snowman!
DOCTOR: Ah! Interesting. Well, were you thinking about it?
They approach the snowman.
CLARA: Yes.
Another snowman appears next to the first.
DOCTOR: Well, stop.
They turn to run in the other direction and find a third snowman.
DOCTOR: Clara, stop thinking about the snowmen!
More snowmen appear and open their mouths. The DOCTOR kneels down and grips CLARA'S head in his hands.
DOCTOR: Get down! Clara, listen to me, the snow is feeding off your thoughts.
CLARA: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: You're caught in their telepathic field, they're mirroring you. The more you think about them, the more they appear. Imagine them melting, picture it, picture them melted!
CLARA and the DOCTOR close their eyes and are soon splashed by melted snowmen.
DOCTOR: Well, very good - very, very good! (stands and laughs)
CLARA: Is that going to happen again?
DOCTOR: If it does, you know what to do about it.
CLARA: Unless I forget.
The DOCTOR walks CLARA to the carriage.
DOCTOR: Don't come looking for me - forget about me. You understand?
CLARA: (gets into the carriage) What about the snow? Shouldn't we be warning people?
DOCTOR: Not my problem. (closes door) Merry Christmas! (to STRAX) Take her back where we found her.
STRAX: Sir.
The DOCTOR walks away and STRAX drives off. As the carriage pulls away, CLARA is revealed to have gotten out and she follows the DOCTOR.
EXT. PARK, NIGHT
The DOCTOR jumps the wrought-iron fence. He looks around cautiously before slipping his hands in his pockets and sauntering while whistling "Silent Night". He looks around again before jumping up and catching on an invisible ladder. As he pulls it down, CLARA peers out from behind a tree. The DOCTOR climbs the ladder and it retracts, becoming invisible once again. CLARA walks over to the spot where the ladder appeared and looks up at the empty sky. She jumps up in an attempt to reach the ladder, but falls to the ground. She tries a second time and reaches it.
CLARA: Come on.
She pulls the ladder down and climbs it. She reaches a small landing and looks down at the street and the passers-by.
CLARA: (waves) Hello. (no one sees her) Invisible. (looks at spiral staircase behind her) An invisible staircase.(climbs)
EXT. SKY, NIGHT
CLARA climbs the staircase as it reaches high above London. As she does so, the ladder retracts. The staircase ends in the clouds. CLARA looks around at the stars before she sees the TARDIS. She tentatively steps forwards, finding herself on solid footing. She walks over to the TARDIS and touches it, quickly pulling her hand away. She reaches out and knocks on the door. She hears a noise from within and hides on the side as the DOCTOR opens the door and peers out.
DOCTOR: Hello?
CLARA moves towards the back of the TARDIS as the DOCTOR steps out and walks forward. He looks around.
DOCTOR: Hello?
The DOCTOR goes around the TARDIS but as he is in the back, CLARA reaches the front and runs down the stairs.
DOCTOR: Hello?
The DOCTOR makes his way to the front and over to the staircase where he spots CLARA'S shawl. He looks down the staircase and sees her.
EXT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, NIGHT
A carriage pulls up in front of the building.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
The VOICE of the GREAT INTELLIGENCE speaks as SIMEON brings more snow and places it within the globe.
INTELLIGENCE: Tonight the thaw, tomorrow the snow will fall again, yet stronger. The drowned woman and the dreaming child will give us form at last. Tomorrow the snow will fall and so shall mankind. She is coming.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
A figure moves in the frozen pond.
INT. ROSE & CROWN, CLARA'S ROOM, DAY
CLARA wakes up and smiles. She then sits up in bed and looks at a bag on a chair.
EXT. ROSE & CROWN, DAY
CLARA walks out of the door to see no snowman.
CLARA: Look at that. Must have thawed in the night.
BOB CHILCOTT, the innkeeper of the Rose and Crown stands in the doorway.
BOB: I'm begging you, Clara, I'm on my knees.
CLARA: Elsie is back this afternoon - I was only helping out. I've got my own work to get back to.
BOB: What work? Why won't you ever tell us?
CLARA: You'd never believe me! (blows a kiss and leaves)
INT. CARRIAGE, DAY
CLARA pulls down the shades and opens the bag. She pulls out a gown before letting down her hair. She then begins to unbutton her dress.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, DAY
The carriage pulls up in front of the house and CLARA alights now wearing a gown befitting someone of a higher station. She greets ALICE in a posh accent.
CLARA: Alice, how smart you look today.
ALICE: The governess should enter by the back door, unless accompanied by the children.
The two women smile at each other.
CLARA: And how are the children? Excited about tomorrow?
ALICE: Francesca, same as ever. Digby says he missed you every day. Captain Latimer wants to see you.
CLARA: Of course. (picks up her bag and walks inside, stopping in the doorway) Every day?
ALICE: Twice on Saturdays.
CLARA: That's better.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, DAY
LATIMER is holding SIMEON'S card when CLARA knocks on the door and enters.
CLARA: Captain Latimer.
LATIMER: (turns around) Ah. Miss Montague, you're back.
CLARA: In time for Christmas. Apologies for my brief absence - family illness is so unpredictable. You wanted to see me?
LATIMER: Francesca has been having nightmares.
CLARA: Young girls often do.
LATIMER: Every night this week, she says. Won't tell me about them.
CLARA: Perhaps if you asked her in the right way, there's no-one she'd rather tell.
LATIMER: Children are not really my area of expertise...
CLARA: They are, however, your children.
LATIMER: You have, if I may say, a remarkable amount of wisdom in these matters, for one so... very pretty, Miss Montague. Young, I mean.
CLARA: I'll see to the children now. (leaves)
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, BACK GARDEN, DAY
FRANCESCA and DIGBY are playing in tag. They rush over when they see CLARA.
FRANCESCA: Miss Montague!
DIGBY: Miss Montague, you're back!
CLARA: Ah, ah, ah!
DIGBY: Good morning, Miss Montague.
FRANCESCA: Good morning, Miss Montague.
CLARA: Good morning, Francesca. Good morning, Digby. (shakes their hands) Christmas Eve is the most thrilling day, don't you think? Now, what have you two been up to while I've been away?
DIGBY: I did seven drawings and we saw a dead cow.
CLARA: Well, how exciting!
DIGBY: Do your secret voice!
CLARA: (looks around before bending over and using her real voice) 'Ello, mates!
The children laugh.
LATER
CLARA sits next to FRANCESCA on a bench while DIGBY plays with a ball.
FRANCESCA: They're not exactly nightmares. Just dreams.
DIGBY: About our old governess - the one who d*ed. (taunting) She's haunting Frannie from beyond the grave!
CLARA: Haven't you spoken to your father about this? (looks to the window of LATIMER'S study)
FRANCESCA: You can't talk about things like that to Daddy.
CLARA: You could try.
DIGBY: Do you want to see where she d*ed?
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, DAY
DIGBY points to the pond as CLARA and FRANCESCA follow.
DIGBY: She fell in there. And then it froze, she was in the ice for days and days. I hated her. She was cross all the time. In Frannie's dream, she's still down there, waiting to come back.
CLARA: Everything else has thawed, but this pond... (taps ice) is still frozen.
CLARA remembers what the DOCTOR told her about the snow.
DOCTOR: (V.O.)
'The snow is feeding off your thoughts - the more you think about the snowmen, the more they appear.'
CLARA: Frannie, this is important. You dream about her. What do you dream?
FRANCESCA: She's cross with me. She says I've been bad and she's going to come out of the pond and punish me!
CLARA: When?
FRANCESCA: She said she'd come back for Christmas. Tonight.
DIGBY: I think Frannie's gone mad, don't you? I think she needs a doctor.
EXT. PARK, DAY
CLARA hurries into the park and calls up to the sky.
CLARA: Doctor! Doctor!
People stop to watch her.
MAN 1: What's she looking at?
MAN 2: She's asking for a doctor.
CLARA: Doctor!
JENNY sees her and rushes inside the park to top her from attracting more attention.
JENNY: Now then, that's enough noise! We don't want to attract attention, do we?
CLARA: I'm looking for the Doctor. Do you know about him?
JENNY: The Doctor? Doctor who?
CLARA looks at JENNY, knowing they share the same secret.
INT. VASTRA'S CONSERVATORY, DAY
STRAX blocks the entrance to the conservatory.
STRAX: Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated! May I take your coat?
CLARA gives STRAX her coat and hat and he steps aside. VASTRA is sitting in a high-back cane chair sipping on a red drink. CLARA stops and stares at VASTRA.
JENNY: Sit.
VASTRA: There are two refreshments in your world the colour of red wine. This is not red wine. (sets glass on table)
CLARA sits.
JENNY: Madame Vastra will ask you questions. You will confine yourself to single word responses. One word only, do you understand?
CLARA: Why?
VASTRA: Truth is singular - lies are words, words, words. You met the Doctor, didn't you?
CLARA: Yes.
VASTRA: And now you've come looking for him again. Why?
JENNY: Take your time. One word only.
CLARA: Curiosity.
VASTRA: About?
CLARA: Snow.
VASTRA: And about him?
CLARA: Yes.
VASTRA: What do you want from him?
CLARA: Help.
VASTRA: Why?
CLARA: Danger.
VASTRA: Why would he help you?
CLARA: Kindness.
VASTRA: The Doctor is not kind.
CLARA: No?
VASTRA: No. The Doctor does not help people. Not anyone, not ever. He stands above this world and doesn't interfere in the affairs of its inhabitants. He is not your salvation, nor your protector. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
CLARA: Words.
JENNY smiles.
VASTRA: He was different once, a long time ago. Kind, yes. A hero, even, a saver of worlds. But he suffered losses which hurt him. Now he prefers isolation to the possibility of pain's return. Kindly choose a word to indicate your understanding of this.
CLARA: Man.
VASTRA looks over at JENNY who nods her head.
VASTRA: We are the Doctor's friends. We assist him in his isolation but that does not mean we approve of it. So... a test for you. Give me a message for the Doctor. Tell him all about the snow and what fresh danger you believe it presents, and above all, explain why he should help you. (CLARA takes a breath and VASTRA places a finger to her lips) But do it in one word. You are thinking it is impossible that such a word exists, or that you could even find it. Let's see if the gods are with you.
CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH–
CUT TO:
INT. TARDIS
The DOCTOR is reading in the muted blue light when the phone rings. He answers in frustration.
DOCTOR: Yes, what? I'm trying to read!
VASTRA: Miss Clara and her concerns about the snow. I gave her the one-word test.
DOCTOR: 'Always pointless. What did she say? Well? Well?'
VASTRA: Pond.
The DOCTOR stares ahead, stunned. He removes his glasses.
VASTRA: Strax has already suggested where to start investigating.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, DAY
SIMEON is sitting at his desk.
INTELLIGENCE: Danger. Danger.
SIMEON: What's wrong? (stands and walks over to the globe)
INTELLIGENCE: There is danger here. An intelligence. An intelligence beyond anything else in this time and place.
A CLERK enters the room.
CLERK: Dr Simeon, sir, there's someone demanding to see you.
SIMEON: No callers, not in here, not ever. Did he leave his name?
CLERK: Sir... it's Sherlock Holmes!
The DOCTOR enters the office wearing an Inverness cape and a deerstalker hat and carrying a cane.
DOCTOR: Ooh, nice office. Big globey thing. Now, shut up, don't tell me! (points with cane) I see from your collar stud you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?
SIMEON: No.
DOCTOR: But you've got a wife?
SIMEON: No.
DOCTOR: Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples? Come on, work with me here.
SIMEON: I enjoy The Strand magazine as much as the next man but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character. Get out!!
DOCTOR: (points to CLERK with cane) Do you have a goldfish named Colin?
CLERK: No. (leaves)
DOCTOR: Thought not. Now... Ooh! I see this is one of your business cards – (picks it up off the desk and holds it in front of SIMEON'S face) it says so on the front!
SIMEON: Who are you? What are you doing here?
DOCTOR: This. (runs over to globe) Wakey, wakey! (swings at it with cane)
SIMEON: That is highly valuable equipment, (grips the cane) you must step away now.
INTELLIGENCE: We are the Intelligence.
DOCTOR: Oh! Talking snow. I love new things.
INTELLIGENCE: You are not of this world.
DOCTOR: Takes one to SNOW one! Right, let's see. (walks around globe) Multi-nucleate, crystalline organism with the ability to mimic and mirror what it finds. (taps glass) Looks like snow. Isn't snow.
SIMEON: You must leave here now!
DOCTOR: Shut up, I'm making deductions, it's very exciting. Now, what are you, eh? (paces, twirling cane) A flock of space crystals? A swarm?
As the DOCTOR talks, SIMEON goes to a panel on the wall and turns a handle which rings a bell help.
DOCTOR: The snowmen are foot soldiers, mindless predators. But you - you're the clever one. You're Moriarty. So you turn up on a planet, you generate a telepathic field to learn what you can, (uses sonic over his shoulder) and when you've learnt enough, what do you do? You can't conquer the world using snowmen. Snowmen are rubbish in July. You'll have to be better than that. You'll have to evolve.
CLERK: (muffled from outside) Sir, it appears to be stuck!
SIMEON: What have you done? Have you locked the doors? (goes to door and pulls on handles)
DOCTOR: You need to translate yourself into something more, well, human.
SIMEON: Kick it down!
DOCTOR: To do that you'd need a perfect duplicate of human DNA in ice form - where do you find that? (turns and looks at desk)
CLERK: (muffled from outside) Sir?
SIMEON: Get in here! Quickly!
CLERK: (muffled from outside) I've got a master key somewhere, sir.
DOCTOR: (goes to desk) Let's see. Most opened file... (tosses files in the air) most viewed page. (file falls to the floor open) You really should delete your history! (points with cane) "Governess frozen in pond." Gotcha! (looks at SIMEON with a smile)
CLERK: (muffled from outside) Got it, sir!
SIMEON: Get in here! (two footmen enter) Take him downstairs.
They turn around to find the DOCTOR gone, slipped through another door.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
The DOCTOR walks along the border of the pond, scanning it with the sonic screwdriver.
DOCTOR: Body frozen in a pond, the snow gets a good long look at a human being, like a full body scan. Everything they need to evolve. Pond. Good point, Clara.
STRAX walks up behind him.
DOCTOR: What are you doing here?
STRAX: Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?
DOCTOR: Grenades?
STRAX: She might have said help.
DOCTOR: Help for what?
STRAX: Well, your investigation.
DOCTOR: Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? (points at STRAX) Who do you think I am? (turns away)
STRAX: Sherlock Holmes.
DOCTOR: (steps down) Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you.
STRAX: Sorry, sir.
DOCTOR: I'm the clever one, (pokes STRAX between the eyes) you're the potato one.
STRAX: Yes, sir.
DOCTOR: Now go away. (climbs onto pond edge)
STRAX: Yes... Mr Holmes. (walks away)
DOCTOR: Oi! Shut up, you're not clever or funny and you've got tiny little legs!
Light shines on the DOCTOR as CLARA opens the curtains of an upstairs window. She waves and he nervously waves back. CLARA then motions for him to come up. The DOCTOR points at himself and then at her, questioning her intentions.
DOCTOR: (turns around and motions with his hands as he talks to himself) OK, just tell her you're leaving, you're not going up. Leaving, not going up. (turns back and holds up his hand signaling "five" and gives a thumbs up) What was that all about – (smacks his head) five minutes, where did that come from? (points at hand) You... (bites thumb)
As he walks away, the ice on the pond cracks.
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
VASTRA, STRAX, and JENNY are watching the Latimer House. A carriage pulls up with SIMEON inside.
STRAX: It's the human male from the Institute. What's he doing here? Suggest we melt his brain using projectile acid fish, and then interrogate him. (JENNY looks at him) Other way round.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, NURSERY, NIGHT
CLARA is helping the children as they go to bed. She is sitting on FRANCESCA'S bed.
FRANCESCA: Am I going to have the nightmare tonight?
CLARA: Definitely not.
FRANCESCA: How do you know?
CLARA: Because someone's coming to help.
FRANCESCA: Who?
FRANCESCA scoots over on the bed to make room for DIGBY to come sit next to her.
CLARA: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
FRANCESCA: Is it one of your stories? Your definitely true ones?
CLARA: Huh! All my stories are true.
DIGBY: Like how you were born behind the clock face of Big Ben?
CLARA: Accounting for my acute sense of time.
FRANCESCA: And you invented fish.
CLARA: Because I dislike swimming alone.
DIGBY: So what's this one?
CLARA: There's a man called the Doctor. He lives on a cloud in the sky, and all he does, all day every day, is to stop all the children in the world ever having bad dreams.
FRANCESCA: I've been having bad dreams.
CLARA: He's been on holiday. But I am confident he has now returned to work. (sees the candle on the bedside table flicker) And as a matter of fact, he's right here... (the door opens slowly) Aren't you, Doctor?
The three look to the door. A woman of ice steps through and they scream. It is the GOVERNESS. The children scramble from the bed and CLARA backs away.
CLARA: (real voice) Bloomin' hell!
GOVERNESS: The children have been very naughty!
CLARA: (stands in front of the children as they back away) Get back, now, quickly.
DIGBY: You're doing your other voice.
CLARA: Yes, love, did you notice?
GOVERNESS: Naughty, naughty children!!
CLARA: RUN!
They run for the playroom and CLARA bolts the door top and bottom.
FRANCESCA: What do we do?
CLARA: Frannie, Frannie, imagine her melting. (holds FRANCESCA by the arms)
FRANCESCA: What?!
CLARA: In your head, melt her.
FRANCESCA: I can't!
GOVERNESS: (through door) I'm getting impatient! (opens door) You have been VERY naughty!
DIGBY: What about the man? You said the man was here, the cloud man.
CLARA: Well, he's not, is he?
DIGBY: Where's the Doctor?
CLARA: I don't know!
DOCTOR: (as Punch) Doctor? Doctor who? (uses sonic and GOVERNESS shatters-stands) That's the way to do it! (puppet goes for his face) Oi, Ow!
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
SIMEON extends a pole until it is above the wall and starts blowing snow onto the property.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, NURSERY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR is kneeling, using the sonic screwdriver on the remains of the GOVERNESS.
FRANCESCA: Where did she go? Will she come back?
DOCTOR: No, don't worry. She's currently draining through your carpet. (stands) New setting, anti-freeze, and you're very welcome, by the way.
CLARA: I'm very grateful. I knew you'd come.
DOCTOR: No, you didn't, because I don't. (walks around and takes off scarf) Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more. Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to...
The DOCTOR sees himself in the mirror. He is wearing a bowtie. CLARA comes up behind him.
CLARA: What is it? What's wrong?
DOCTOR: Sorry, it's just... Didn't know I'd put it on. Old habits... (straightens tie)
The snow continues to fall outside and frost forms on the windows.
CLARA: It's cooler.
DOCTOR: Yeah, it is, isn't it? It is very cool. Bow ties are cool!
CLARA: No, the room. The room is getting colder.
The rug moves as something grows underneath it.
FRANCESCA: She's coming back! What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me?
DOCTOR: Uh... uh... (the sonic doesn't work) She's learnt not to melt. Of course, she's not really a governess, she's just a beast. She's going to eat you. (takes the children by the hand) Run.
The DOCTOR pulls them away. CLARA, holding DIGBY'S other hand, is pulled along.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT HALL, NIGHT
They run down the front stairs only to stop when LATIMER confronts them.
LATIMER: Children, what is exp... Who the devil are you?! What are you doing in my house?
DOCTOR: It's OK! I am your governess' gentleman friend, and we've just been upstairs... kissing!
ALICE: (comes running in) Captain Latimer, in the garden, there's snowmen! And they're just growing, out of nowhere, all by themselves - look!
ALICE runs to the front door and opens it. VASTRA and JENNY are there.
VASTRA: Good evening, I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife!
ALICE screams and hurries down the hall only to come face-to-face with STRAX.
STRAX: This dwelling is under att*ck! Remain calm, human scum!
ALICE screams and faints. The DOCTOR runs to the bottom of the stairs and looks at LATIMER.
DOCTOR: So! Any questions?
LATIMER: (looks at CLARA) You have a... gentleman friend?
CLARA sighs. The DOCTOR walks to a window in the parlor.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, PARLOR, NIGHT
DOCTOR: Vastra, what's happening?
VASTRA, JENNY and STRAX follow the DOCTOR into the room.
VASTRA: The snow is highly localised, and on this occasion not naturally occurring.
JENNY: It's coming out of that cab parked by the gates.
STRAX: Sir, one pulver grenade would blow these snowmen to smithereens.
DOCTOR: They're made of snow, Strax, (tugs on STRAX'S ear) they're already smithereens. See, Clara - our friends again.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT HALL, NIGHT
LATIMER: Clara? Who's Clara?
DOCTOR: Your current governess is in reality a former barmaid called Clara.
The GOVERNESS shuffles her way to the top of the stairs.
GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it.
DOCTOR: Meanwhile, your previous governess is now a living ice sculpture impersonating Mr. Punch. Jenny, what have you got?
JENNY throws a grenade that opens a force field around the GOVERNESS.
JENNY: Should hold it.
STRAX steps into the hall from the study.
STRAX: Sir, this room – one observational window on the line of att*ck and one defendable entrance.
DOCTOR: Right, everyone in there now. Move it. You, carry her.
LATIMER carries ALICE and follows CLARA and the children to the study. The DOCTOR takes out his sonic screwdriver and uses it on the GOVERNESS. VASTRA comes up beside him.
VASTRA: Nice to see you off your cloud and engaging again.
DOCTOR: I'm not engaging again, I'm under att*ck.
VASTRA: You missed this, didn't you?
The DOCTOR swings around, aiming the sonic at VASTRA. The GOVERNESS keeps pounding on the field.
DOCTOR: Shut up! (passes VASTRA going to the study) Strax, how long have we got?
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR enters the study and heads for the desk where he pours a whisky. FRANCESCA and DIGBY are sitting in chairs in a corner, CLARA kneeling in front of them. LATIMER has set ALICE down in a chair.
STRAX: They're not going to att*ck. They made no attempt to conceal their arrival. An att*ck force would never abandon surprise so easily - and they're clearly in a defence formation.
DOCTOR: (fake-boxes STRAX) Well done, Straxie, still got it! (rubs the top of STRAX'S head before kissing it)
STRAX: Sir, please do not noogie me during combat prep.
VASTRA: So there's something here they want.
CLARA: (stands) The Ice Woman.
DOCTOR: Exactly.
JENNY: Why's she so important?
DOCTOR: Because she's a perfect duplication of human DNA in ice crystal form. The ultimate fusion of snow and humanity. (paces and hands LATIMER the whisky) To live here, the snow needs to evolve - and she's the blueprint. She's what they need to become. (snaps and points at CLARA) When the snow melted last night, did the pond?
CLARA: No.
DOCTOR: Living ice that will never melt. If the snow gets hold of that creature on the stairs, it will learn to make more of them. It will build an army of ice. And it will be the last day of humanity on this planet.
The doorbell rings.
DOCTOR: (cracks neck) Stay here. (leaves)
After a slight pause, CLARA follows.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT HALL, NIGHT
The DOCTOR turns to face CLARA.
DOCTOR: Oi, I told you to stay in there.
CLARA: Oh, I didn't listen.
DOCTOR: You do that a lot.
CLARA: It's why you like me.
DOCTOR: Who said I like you?
CLARA puts her hands on either side of the DOCTOR'S face and pulls him into a kiss. He struggles and tries to break it off. Above them on the stairway, the GOVERNESS still tries to break the field. CLARA pulls away, ending the kiss. The DOCTOR is shocked, stunned.
CLARA: I think you just did.
DOCTOR: You kissed me.
CLARA: You blushed.
DOCTOR: And we just... Shut up.
The DOCTOR straightens his tie and heads for the front door. After a little smile, CLARA follows. The DOCTOR opens the door to reveal SIMEON. The DOCTOR puts on his stern face and walks up to the other man so they're face-to-face. Behind SIMEON, snowmen rise.
SIMEON: Release her to us. You have five minutes.
SIMEON walks away and the DOCTOR closes the door and walks back through the hall.
DOCTOR: We need to get her out of here - but keep her away from them.
CLARA: How?
DOCTOR: With this. (pulls out umbrella from stand by stairs) Do I always have to state the obvious?
LATIMER: Those creatures outside, what are they?
DOCTOR: No danger to you, as long as I get that thing out of here! (points at LATIMER) You, in there - now.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, STAIRS, NIGHT
The DOCTOR goes partway up the stairs and uses the sonic screwdriver on the force field.
CLARA: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: Between you and me, I can't wait to find out. (moves the field behind him – and CLARA) Right, if you look after everyone here, then I can... (realizes she's within the field) Clara!
CLARA: Doctor!
The GOVERNESS lunges at them, but they dodge past her, the DOCTOR holding CLARA'S hand, and up the stairs.
DOCTOR: That was stupid!
CLARA: You were stupid, too!
DOCTOR: I'm allowed, I'm good at stupid!
GOVERNESS: (follows) That's the way to do it!
CLARA: Why does she keep saying that?
They stop at the landing, CLARA standing behind the DOCTOR as he swings the umbrella at the GOVERNESS.
DOCTOR: Mirroring, random mirroring. We need to get on the roof.
CLARA: (grabs the DOCTOR by the hand) This way! (pulls him along)
DOCTOR: I do the hand grabbing, that's my job, that's always me!
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, ROOF, NIGHT
The DOCTOR steps onto the roof through a window
DOCTOR: Come on, quickly!
CLARA: Agh! (stops in the window)
DOCTOR: (stops and turns around) What are you doing?
CLARA: My bustle is stuck.
DOCTOR: Your bustle?!
The DOCTOR goes back to the window, puts his arms around her and pulls. They fall to the roof, CLARA lying on top of him.
DOCTOR: You're going to have to take those clothes off! I didn't mean...
CLARA: I know. I understand, I do.
DOCTOR: Good.
CLARA: What's the plan?
DOCTOR: Who said I've got a plan?
CLARA: Course you've got a plan. You took that. (lifts umbrella)
DOCTOR: Maybe I'm an idiot.
They stand.
CLARA: You're not, you're clever. Really clever.
DOCTOR: Are you? (tosses the umbrella to CLARA) If I've got a plan, what is it? You tell me.
The GOVERNESS appears at the window.
GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it!
CLARA: Is this a test?
DOCTOR: Yes.
CLARA: What will it do to us?
DOCTOR: k*ll us.
GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it!
The GOVERNESS turns into snow, blowing through the window.
DOCTOR: So, come on then - plan, do I have one?
CLARA: I knew straight away. (tosses the umbrella to the DOCTOR)
The snow swirls as the GOVERNESS begins to reform.
DOCTOR: No, you didn't. (tosses the umbrella to CLARA)
CLARA: Course I did.
DOCTOR: Show me!
CLARA: Why should I?
DOCTOR: Because we'll be dead in under 30 seconds. Do I have a plan?
CLARA: If we'd been escaping, we'd be climbing down the building. If we'd been hiding, we'd be on the other side of the roof. But we're standing right here.
DOCTOR: So?
CLARA: So! (reaches up with the umbrella and pulls down the ladder) After you.
DOCTOR: After you.
CLARA: After you, I'm wearing a dress. Eyes front, soldier!
DOCTOR: My eyes are always front! (starts up the ladder)
CLARA: Mine aren't. (watches appreciatively)
DOCTOR: (looks down at CLARA) Stop it!
CLARA: No!
The DOCTOR continues up the ladder. CLARA clears her throat and faces the GOVERNESS.
CLARA: I understand you're the previous governess. I regret to inform you the position is taken. (steps onto ladder and taps it with umbrella) Goodnight.
The ladder retracts and CLARA rides it up. The GOVERNESS can only watch.
EXT. SKY, NIGHT
CLARA reaches the landing at the base of the spiral staircase where the DOCTOR is waiting.
CLARA: So you can move your cloud? You can control it.
DOCTOR: No, no-one can control clouds, that would be silly. The wind, a little bit.
The ladder begins to shake and they look down.
CLARA: She's following us!
DOCTOR: That's the idea. Keep her away from the snow. (runs up the staircase) So, barmaid or governess, which is it?
CLARA: (follows the DOCTOR) That thing is after us, and you want a chat?
DOCTOR: (stops) Well, we can't chat after we've been horribly k*lled, can we? (starts)
CLARA: How did we get up so high so quick?
DOCTOR: Clever staircase, it's taller on the inside!
They reach the top of the staircase, the cloud. The DOCTOR turns around and aims the sonic down the staircase.
CLARA: What am I standing on, what's this made of?
DOCTOR: Super-dense water vapour. Should keep her trapped, for the moment.
They cross the cloud to the TARDIS that is battered and b*rned.
CLARA: So you actually live up here? On a cloud, in a box?
DOCTOR: I have done, for a long time.
CLARA: Blimey, you really know how to sulk.
DOCTOR: I'm not sulking!
CLARA: You live in a box!
DOCTOR: That's no more a box than you are a governess.
CLARA: Oh, spoken like a man! You're the same as all the rest. Sweet little Clara, works at the Rose and Crown, ideas above her station! (follows the DOCTOR into the TARDIS) For your information, I'm not sweet on the inside, and I'm certainly not... little.
INT. TARDIS
The DOCTOR switches on the TARDIS lights and CLARA looks about, awed.
DOCTOR: It's called the TARDIS. It can travel anywhere in time and space. And it's mine.
CLARA: But it's... Look at it, it's...
DOCTOR: Go on, say it, most people do.
CLARA runs outside.
EXT. SKY, NIGHT
CLARA runs around the exterior of the TARDIS, touching its sides before going back inside.
INT. TARDIS
CLARA: It's smaller on the outside!
DOCTOR: OK, that is a first.
CLARA: (walks around the console) Is it magic? Is it a machine?
DOCTOR: It's a ship.
CLARA: A ship? (goes partway up one set of stairs)
DOCTOR: Best ship in the universe.
CLARA: (comes down to the console) Is there a kitchen?
DOCTOR: Another first.
CLARA: I don't know why I asked that, it's just... I like making soufflés.
DOCTOR: (looks up slowly) Soufflés?!
CLARA: (stands by open door) Why are you showing me all this?
DOCTOR: You followed me, remember - I didn't invite you. (turns back to the console)
CLARA: You're nearly a foot taller than I am. (DOCTOR turns around) You could've reached the ladder without this (holds up umbrella) - you took it for me. (throws umbrella to the DOCTOR) Why?
DOCTOR: (reaches into pocket as he walks to her) I never know why. I only know who. (holds up TARDIS key before placing it in her palm and folder her hand)
CLARA: What's this?
DOCTOR: Me. Giving in.
CLARA: I don't know why I'm crying...
DOCTOR: I do. Remember this - this right now, remember all of it. Because this is the day, (exuberantly goes around console) this is the day, this is the day everything begins.
While on the side opposite the door, the DOCTOR sets to work on the controls. The GOVERNESS comes up behind CLARA, grabbing her and pulling her from the TARDIS.
DOCTOR: Clara! (runs for the door)
EXT. SKY, NIGHT
CLARA struggles as the GOVERNESS pulls her backwards.
CLARA: Get off of me!
DOCTOR: (exits TARDIS aiming sonic at GOVERNESS) Water vapour doesn't stop ice, I should've realised!
CLARA: Get off!
DOCTOR: Let her go. Let her go now! NOW!
CLARA: Get off of me!
DOCTOR: Clara!
The DOCTOR and CLARA share a moment before the GOVERNESS takes another step back and both she and CLARA fall from the cloud. Even while falling, the GOVERNESS tries to reach for CLARA. The DOCTOR runs to the edge and leans over.
DOCTOR: (muted) No-o-o-o-o!
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
Those gathered in the study hear a thud.
VASTRA: What was that?
VASTRA and JENNY look out the window into the front yard and see CLARA lying in the snow surrounded by snowmen.
JENNY: It's Clara.
VASTRA looks at a handheld device.
LATIMER: Dear God. (comes to the window) Oh, dear God, where did she fall from?
VASTRA'S device reads "No Life Signs Detected".
LATIMER: We have to get her inside. (heads for the door)
VASTRA: Those things will k*ll you!
LATIMER: She's hurt.
VASTRA: She's dead.
LATIMER stops at the door and looks back at VASTRA. VASTRA and JENNY then look outside. We then hear the TARDIS.
LATIMER: What is that? What is happening?!
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
The TARDIS materializes around CLARA.
VASTRA: He's bringing her in.
INT. TARDIS
CLARA lies on the floor of the TARDIS, chunks of ice, remains of the GOVERNESS, scattered about her.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
CLARA is lying on a table as STRAX scans her with VASTRA'S device. Above the table floats a pulsing red light of energy. LATIMER stands at the opposite side of the table from STRAX. JENNY stands back against the wall. VASTRA is standing behind STRAX.
LATIMER: That green woman said she was dead, how can she be alive now?
STRAX: This technology has capacities and abilities beyond anything your puny human mind could possibly understand. Try not to worry.
VASTRA enters the TARDIS.
INT. TARDIS
The DOCTOR is standing by the console using the sonic on a piece of ice from the GOVERNESS. He puts the piece into a tin box decorated with a map of the London Underground resting on the console and takes out another. He repeats the process.
VASTRA: Isn't the creature still a danger? It could reform.
DOCTOR: No, not in here.
VASTRA: Then you should be with Miss Clara.
DOCTOR: She's going to be fine, I know she is, she has to be.
VASTRA: Doctor, her injuries are severe. That equipment will bring back anyone for a while, but long term...
DOCTOR: It was my fault. I am responsible for what happened to Clara, she was in my care!
VASTRA: What is the point of blaming yourself?
DOCTOR: None. Because she's going to live.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR steps out of the TARDIS. He hands the box of ice to JENNY before walking over to CLARA. He leans over, takes one of her hands in his and strokes her head. She opens her eyes.
DOCTOR: (whispers) Hello.
CLARA: (weakly) They all think I'm going to die, don't they?
DOCTOR: (whispers) And I know you're going to live.
CLARA: (weakly) How?
DOCTOR: (whispers) (reaches into jacket pocket) I never know how. (pulls out TARDIS key) I just know who. (kisses key and places it in her hand then kisses her hand)
CLARA: (weakly) The green lady... she said you were the saver of worlds once. Are you going to save this one?
DOCTOR: (whispers) If I do, will you come away with me?
CLARA: (weakly) Yes.
DOCTOR: (whispers) Well then. (kisses her forehead) Merry Christmas.
The DOCTOR stands and straightens his tie. He then takes the box from JENNY and leaves the room.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT HALL, NIGHT
The DOCTOR opens the front door. SIMEON is standing there, surrounded by snowmen.
DOCTOR: (holds up box) I have in my hand a piece of the Ice Lady. Everything you need to know about how to make ice people. Is that what you want? See you at the office. (closes door)
INT. TARDIS
The DOCTOR strides into the TARDIS followed by VASTRA. He works the controls furiously.
VASTRA: So then, Doctor, saving the world again? Might I ask why? Are you making a bargain with the universe? You'll save the world to let her live?
DOCTOR: Yes! And don't you think, after all this time and everything I've ever done, I'm owed this one?
VASTRA: I don't think the universe makes bargains.
DOCTOR: It was my fault.
VASTRA: (grips him by the lapels) Well then, better save the world.
The DOCTOR puts the TARDIS in motion.
INT. CARRIAGE, NIGHT
SIMEON sits in the back of the carriage, impassive.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, HALLS, NIGHT
SIMEON walks through the halls to his study.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
SIMEON opens the door to his office. The DOCTOR is sitting at his desk, legs crossed and resting on its surface. VASTRA is standing behind him.
SIMEON: You promised us something. Have you brought it?
DOCTOR: Big fella here's been very quiet while you've been out - which is only to be expected considering who he really is. (stands and holds up the box) Know what this is, big fella? (walks to the center of the room)
INTELLIGENCE: I do not understand these markings.
DOCTOR: A map of the London Underground, 1967 - key strategic weakness in metropolitan living, if you ask me, but then I have never liked a tunnel...
INTELLIGENCE: Enough of this. We are powerful, but on this planet we are limited. We need to learn to take human form. The Governess is our most perfect replication of humanity...
The DOCTOR has taken out the sonic screwdriver and uses it on the INTELLIGENCE causing its voice to change, turning to that of a young boy.
VASTRA: What's happening to its voice?
DOCTOR: Just stripping away the disguise.
INTELLIGENCE: No, stop! Stop that! Cease, I command you!
SIMEON slowly falls back against the desk for support.
VASTRA: It sounds like a child.
DOCTOR: Of course it sounds like a child, it IS a child. Simeon as a child, the snow has no voice without him.
INTELLIGENCE: Don't listen to him, he's ruining everything!
DOCTOR: How long has the Intelligence been talking to you?
SIMEON: I was a little boy. He was my snowman... He spoke to me.
FLASHBACK
EXT. BACK GARDEN, DAY
Young WALTER SIMEON is making his SNOWMAN.
SNOWMAN: They're silly.
DOCTOR: But the snow doesn't talk, does it - it's just a mirror.
FLASHBACK
EXT. BACK GARDEN, DAY
WALTER: (to SNOWMAN) I don't want to talk to them. They're silly.
SNOWMAN: They're silly.
DOCTOR: It just reflects back everything we think and feel and fear.
FLASHBACK
EXT. BACK GARDEN, DAY
WALTER: I don't need anyone else.
SNOWMAN: Don't need anyone else.
DOCTOR: You poured your darkest dreams into a snowman - and look, (points to globe) look what it became!
VASTRA: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: (walks to the globe) It's a parasite feeding on the loneliness of a child and the sickness of an old man. (walks back towards SIMEON) Carnivorous snow meets Victorian values... and something terrible is born.
INTELLIGENCE: We can go on! And do everything we planned.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, and what a plan! A world full of living ice people. Oh, dear me, how very Victorian of you.
SIMEON: What's wrong with Victorian values?
SIMEON lunges at the DOCTOR and grabs the box of ice. VASTRA comes forward to take it back. The DOCTOR holds up a hand.
DOCTOR: Are you sure?
SIMEON: I have always been sure!
SIMEON opens the box and reaches in to take a piece of ice. Instead, he grabs the memory worm which bites his hand. He groans and keels over on his side.
DOCTOR: (coldly) Good. (bends over) I'm glad you think so, since your entire adult life is about to be erased. No parasite without a host, without you, it will have no voice, without the governess, it will have no form.
INTELLIGENCE: What... What's happening, what's happening, what did you do?
DOCTOR: (stands) You've got nothing left to mirror any more. Goodbye.
INTELLIGENCE: What did you... Did you... Did you...(voice and energy fade away before resuming as if nothing happened) Did you really think it would be so easy?
DOCTOR: That's not possible. How is that possible?
VASTRA: (looks to the window) Doctor!
The DOCTOR runs over and looks out the window at the snow.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
The snowmen grow taller and growl.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
JENNY has been keeping watch.
JENNY: They're growing! The snowmen are growing!
LATIMER comes to the window.
LATIMER: What do we do?
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR and VASTRA stand at the base of the globe.
DOCTOR: But you were just Dr Simeon. You're not real, he dreamed you, how can you still exist?
INTELLIGENCE: Now the dream outlives the dreamer and can never die. Once I was the puppet. Now I pull the strings! (SIMEON rises up from the floor behind them, charged with electricity. The INTELLIGENCE now speaks through him) I have tried so long to take on human form. By erasing Simeon, you made space for me. (SIMEON'S face is blue with cold, frost covering his skin) I fill him now.
VASTRA pulls her sword from its sheath and moves to att*ck SIMEON, but he flings her aside. He puts his hands around the DOCTOR'S throat, pushing him down to the floor.
INTELLIGENCE: More than snow, more than Simeon - even this old body is strong in my control.
SIMEON reaches his hand to touch the DOCTOR'S face, his skin. The DOCTOR groans.
INTELLIGENCE: Do you feel it?
SIMEON'S hand touches the DOCTOR'S face and steam rises from his skin as the heat leaves his body and his skin begins to turn blue and cold.
INTELLIGENCE: Winter is coming! Winter is coming!
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
STRAX is watching over CLARA
STRAX: No, you must fight! Hang on and fight, boy, you can do it!
LATIMER comes to stand beside the table.
CLARA: (weakly) Captain Latimer... (LATIMER grips her hand) your children... they are afraid. Hold them.
LATIMER: (looks to his children) It's not really my area.
CLARA: (weakly) It is now.
A single tear falls from CLARA'S eye. Outside, there is a flash of lightening and JENNY turns to look out the window.
EXT. LONDON, NIGHT
The snow turns to rain.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
The snow inside the globe turns to water. SIMEON falls back from the DOCTOR and curls up in pain.
INTELLIGENCE: What's happening?
The DOCTOR moves to SIMEON to examine him. VASTRA gets up and looks at the globe.
VASTRA: Doctor! The globe. It's turning to rain. All of it, the snow, look.
The DOCTOR looks at the globe before turning back to SIMEON. SIMEON looks at his trembling hands before dropping them to his side. The DOCTOR feels for a pulse.
VASTRA: He's dead. What happened?
DOCTOR: The snow mirrors, that's all it does. It's mirroring something else now. Something so strong, it's drowning everything else. (runs to the window, opens it and lets the rain fall into his palm) There was a critical mass of snow at the house. If something happened there... (licks his hand)
CLARA: (tastes the rain) Salty. Salt water rain.
DOCTOR: It's not raining. It's crying. The only force on Earth that could drown the snow, a whole family crying on Christmas Eve.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
CLARA'S tears fall to the floor to be absorbed by the rug.
INT. GREAT INTELLIGENCE HQ, STUDY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR looks at VASTRA before running to the TARDIS.
EXT. LATIMER HOUSE, FRONT, NIGHT
The snowmen start to melt in the rain.
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
The DOCTOR and VASTRA step out from the TARDIS.
STRAX: I'm sorry. There was nothing to be done. She has moments only.
LATIMER has his arms around FRANCESCA and DIGBY as they cry against his chest. DIGBY turns his head and watches as the DOCTOR approaches the table and kneels.
DOCTOR: (whispers) We saved the world, Clara, you and me. We really, really did.
CLARA: (weakly) Will you go back... to your cloud?
DOCTOR: (whispers) No more cloud. Not now.
CLARA: (weakly) Why not? (closes eyes)
DOCTOR: (whispers) It rained. (bows head)
CLARA: (weakly) Run.
The DOCTOR lifts his head.
CLARA: (weakly) Run, you clever boy. (opens eyes) And remember. (dies)
Outside, church bells begin to ring.
JENNY: It's Christmas. Christmas Day.
EXT. GRAVEYARD, DAY
LATIMER, FRANCESCA and DIGBY stand by the side of CLARA'S freshly-dug grave. The DOCTOR, VASTRA and JENNY watch from a distance. VASTRA is wearing her veil and the DOCTOR holds a bouquet of flowers.
VASTRA: And what about the Intelligence? Melted with the snow?
DOCTOR: No, I shouldn't think so. It learned to survive beyond physical form.
JENNY: Well, we can't be in much danger from a disembodied Intelligence that thinks it can inv*de the world with snowmen.
VASTRA: Or that the London Underground is a key strategic weakness.
The DOCTOR reaches into his pocket and pulls out the calling card he had taken from SIMEON.
DOCTOR: The Great Intelligence... rings a bell... the Great Intelligence?
LATIMER and the children leave and the DOCTOR approaches the grave.
JENNY: Doctor? (looks at VASTRA)
VASTRA and JENNY walk over to find the DOCTOR kneeling by the grave, looking at the headstone. He looks up at their approach before turning back to the marker.
DOCTOR: I never knew her name, her full name.
The name carved into the stone is "Clara Oswin Oswald".
OSWIN: (V.O.) Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager, Starship Alaska.
DOCTOR: Souffle girl... [clip of OSWIN from "Asylum of the Daleks" taking a soufflé from the oven] Oswin - it was her.
FLASHBACK
INT. ASYLUM
OSWIN: (sits in chair and tucks up legs) Run, you clever boy and remember...(looks at camera)
FLASHBACK
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
CLARA: Run, you clever boy…
FLASHBACK
INT. ASYLUM
OSWIN: …and remember. (looks at camera)
FLASHBACK
INT. LATIMER HOUSE, LATIMER'S STUDY, NIGHT
CLARA: and remember.
DOCTOR: It was Soufflé Girl again. (stands) I never saw her face the first time with the Daleks, but her voice, it was the same voice.
JENNY: Doctor?!
DOCTOR: The same woman, twice, and she d*ed both times, the same woman!
VASTRA: Doctor, what are you talking about?
DOCTOR: Something's going on, something impossible, something... (backs away) Right, you two stay here, stay right here, don't move an inch. (turns and hurries away)
VASTRA: Are you coming back?
DOCTOR: Shouldn't think so!
VASTRA: But where are you going?
DOCTOR: (stops and turns around) To find her, to find Clara. (laughs and runs off)
JENNY: (looks at VASTRA) But Clara's dead. What's he talking about, finding her?
VASTRA: I don't know, but perhaps the universe makes bargains after all.
VASTRA looks at the headstone. Underneath CLARA'S name, it reads "Remember me for we shall meet again."
PRESENT DAY
CLARA'S gravestone is now chipped and mottled with age and moss. Two women are walking through the graveyard. One separates from the other.
WOMAN: Where are you going?
WOMAN 2: (stops by the grave) Short cut.
WOMAN: Through there? I hate this place! Don't you think it's creepy?
WOMAN 2: No, (turns around – looks just like CLARA) I don't believe in ghosts.
INT. TARDIS
The DOCTOR runs down from the upper level ringing the console room and punctuates his words by flipping a switch on a different panel.
DOCTOR: Clara! Oswin! Oswald! (looks at the monitor) Watch me run!
2012-12-25 - The Snowman
Moderator: Kitty Midnight
The further adventures of the renegade Time Lord, Doctor Who and his companions, from cross-overs to Christmas Specials. 2016-12-25 - "The Return of Doctor Mysterio"
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