07x12 - Nightmare in Silver

Episode transcripts for the 2005 TV show "Doctor Who". (Ninth to Twelfth Doctor)*

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Time and Space traveling adventures of a Gallifreyan Time Lord only known as "the Doctor" and his companions.

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07x12 - Nightmare in Silver

Post by bunniefuu »

EXT MOONSCAPE

The TARDIS materializes on a rocky moonscape. An American flag is planted in the ground and the Earth hangs in the sky above. The door opens and the DOCTOR sticks his head out followed by CLARA, ANGIE and ARTIE. The DOCTOR steps out, arms out wide. The others follow a bit more slowly.

DOCTOR: Well, here we are. Hedgewick's World - the biggest and best amusement park there will ever be and we've got a golden ticket! (steps onto a rock) Eh, eh? Fun!

CLARA: Fun?

ANGIE: Your stupid box can't even get us to the right place. This is, like, a moon base or something.

The DOCTOR steps down from the rock and CLARA sits on a different one.

DOCTOR: It's not the moon.

ARTIE: Actually, I think it does look like the moon. Only dirtier.

DOCTOR: Hey, guys it's not the moon, OK? It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it was.

A door opens in one of the larger rocks and a MAN peers out.

MAN: Psst! 'Scuse I. I don't suppose you happen to be my lift off planet? Dave's Discount Interstellar Removals?

CLARA: 'Fraid not.

MAN: They were meant to be here six months ago. That's Dave for you, see, unreliable.

WOMAN: (O.C.) Stay where you are!

MAN: Oops. (ducks back inside)

A group of soldiers enter the ride area lead by a female OFFICER.

OFFICER: Throw down your weapons and identify yourselves.

CLARA stands in front of the children as the DOCTOR puts his hands up, holding a golden ticket.

DOCTOR: No. No weapons! Golden ticket! Spacey Zoomer? (bounces) Free ice cream?

OFFICER: Who are you? This planet is closed, by Imperial order.

DOCTOR: How's this? (holds out psychic paper)

OFFICER: Oh. Welcome, Proconsul. I wish they'd told us you were coming. Any news of the Emperor?

DOCTOR: Oh, the Emperor... No, no, none that you'd, er...

OFFICER: We pray for his return. If there is anything you need, my platoon is at your service.

DOCTOR: Right! Righty-oh. Well, carry on, Captain.

The DOCTOR salutes her and she returns it.

CAPTAIN: Platoon, let's move out. On the double. Two, three, four! Two, three, four! Two, three, four!

The soldiers jog away. The door opens and the MAN sticks his head out again.

MAN: Have they gone?

DOCTOR: Yes.

MAN: Uniforms give me the heebie-jeebies. Come on. They can't stop me being here, but they don't like it.

They follow the MAN to the doorway of the ride and pause when they see what's before them. The DOCTOR grins.

DOCTOR: Ha, ha! You see? I told you it was amazing. Well, it used to be.

They look out onto what was once a large amusement park though it is now derelict.

MAN: It closed down. Wish I'd known that before I landed here. But let me show you my collection. Come along, follow me, this way. This way in, come on. Welcome to my show...

ANGIE rolls her eyes as they follow after the MAN.

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

The room is dark and slightly eerie. Steps lead down from the entrance into the room that is lined with wax replicas of different alien races. In the center are two worn couches that were once highly fashionable.

WEBLEY: Webley's World of Wonders. Miracles, marvels and more await you. I am impresario Webley.

ANGIE and ARTIE go down the steps into the main room and look around in wonder. The DOCTOR follows them. WEBLEY goes down the steps followed by CLARA.

WEBLEY: You see before you waxwork representations of the famous... and the infamous. Anybody here play chess?

The DOCTOR raises his hand.

WEBLEY: Perhaps you, young man?

ARTIE: Actually, I'm in my school chess club.

The DOCTOR sighs and lowers his hand.

WEBLEY: Ah, follow me.

WEBLEY takes them to another room.

INT. WEBLEY'S, CHESS ROOM

In the center of the room is a chess table with an empty chair on one side and a draped-covered figure on the other.

WEBLEY: Now, let me demonstrate to you all the wonder of the age, the miracle of modernity. We defeated them all, a thousand years ago. But now he's back, to destroy you. Behold! The enemy!

WEBLEY pulls the drape off with a flourish to reveal a CYBERMAN.

DOCTOR: Cyberman! Get down!

The DOCTOR pulls CLARA and the children down. The CYBERMAN raises its head.

Matt Smith
Jenna-Louise Coleman

DOCTOR WHO
"Nightmare in Silver"
By
Neil Gaiman

PRODUCER
Denise Paul

DIRECTOR
Stephen Woolfendon

INT. WEBLEY'S, CHESS ROOM

WEBLEY pops up from behind the CYBERMAN.

WEBLEY: No need to panic, my young friends. We all know there are no more living Cybermen. What you are seeing is a miracle - the 699th wonder of the universe. As displayed before the Imperial court, and only here to destroy you - at chess! Careful now. An empty shell. And yet it moves. How?

The DOCTOR examines the CYBERMAN as WEBLEY talks.

ANGIE: (sarcastic) Magic.

WEBLEY: That might well be, young lady. A single penny wins you five Imperial shillings if you can b*at this empty shell at chess.

Two little bugs are on one of the dummies and watch everything. The DOCTOR leans on the table.

ARTIE: I haven't got a penny. But I've got a sandwich. (holds up the sandwich)

WEBLEY: All right, take a seat.

CLARA pulls out the chair and ARTIE sits.

WEBLEY: (opens panel underneath) It is free of all devices, and yet it has never been beaten. Would you like to make the first move, young man?

ARTIE moves a pawn and the CYBERMAN jerkily makes a move. ARTIE makes his second move.

DOCTOR: Oh, no, Artie. No, don't do that, it... It's a fool's mate.

The CYBERMAN checkmates ARTIE.

WEBLEY: (eats sandwich) If you can tell me how it works, I'll give you a silver penny.

ANGIE: I think... you do it with mirrors.

DOCTOR: Hmm, mirrors, clever girl. Well, let's see, hey? (examines workings) Low tech. It's a puppet, monofilament strings, which means the brains are in...

The DOCTOR pops open a panel to reveal a "person of reduced stature" inside with a remote control.

DOCTOR: Hello.

MAN: Hello. I'm the brains.

DOCTOR: Hello.

MAN: Give us a hand.

The DOCTOR helps the MAN get out from the box.

MAN: They call me Porridge. Ah, it's good to be out of that box.

WEBLEY: For you, Miss... (reaches behind ANGIE'S ear) an Imperial penny. (gives her the coin)

Leaning against the wall, the DOCTOR straightens when he sees bugs crawling on the wall opposite.

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

They walk into the main room. WEBLEY removes a drape from over another CYBERMAN.

WEBLEY: I have not one but THREE Cybermen in my collection.

The DOCTOR scans it with the sonic. ANGIE sees a replica of a tall man dressed in robes and ermine.

ANGIE: Is that the king?

PORRIDGE: Emperor. Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc, the 41st - defender of humanity, imperator of known space.

CLARA: He looks a bit full of himself.

PORRIDGE: (looks at CLARA) Don't say things like that about the Imperial family - you can end up on the run for the rest of your life.

ARTIE: They don't sound very nice.

PORRIDGE: Go on. If the kids want to ride the Spacey Zoomer, then I can operate the gravity console.

CLARA hugs ARTIE and walks out with him followed by PORRIDGE and the DOCTOR. ANGIE looks from the coin in her hand to the statue. ARTIE comes back for her.

ANGIE: Angie!

They leave the room.

INT. SPACEY ZOOMER RIDE

ANGIE and ARTIE are floating in the air as PORRIDGE and CLARA look on.

ARTIE: Whoa!

CLARA: (has camera phone out) Smile! Say, "Spacey Zoomer!"

ARTIE: We're flying!

DOCTOR: Having a good time?

The children laughed as they had fun in the air. PORRIDGE turns off the anti-gravity and the children fall gently back to the ground. CLARA and the DOCTOR walk over.

ARTIE: I think that was the most fun I've had in my whole life.

ANGIE: It was... OK.

The DOCTOR makes a face at ANGIE'S reaction and walks away, scanning the area.

ARTIE: Clara? I think outer space is actually very interesting.

CLARA: (heads for the TARDIS) Right, wonderful day out, Doctor, but it's time to get the kids home.

DOCTOR: Yeah. Um, no. Not actually ready to leave.

CLARA: Why not?

DOCTOR: I dunno. Reasons.

CLARA: What reasons?

DOCTOR: Insects. Funny insects. I should add them to my funny insect collection.

CLARA: You collect funny insects?

DOCTOR: Yeah, I'm starting to. Right now.

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

ANGIE: How long do we have to stay here?

DOCTOR: Not long. Have a nap. I'll wake you when we're ready to leave. (leaves, turning off lights as he passes)

PORRIDGE: Comfy?

CLARA: Sleep well.

PORRIDGE: Good night.

CLARA and PORRIDGE leave the room. ARTIE sips his water and is setting it on a table by the couch when the DOCTOR re-enters. He is holding the sonic screwdriver under his face, the green light casting an eerie glow.

DOCTOR: Don't wander off. I'm not just saying, "Don't wander off" - I MEAN it. Otherwise you'll wander off, and the next thing you know, somebody's going to have to start rescuing somebody.

ANGIE: From what?

DOCTOR: Nothing. Nobody needs rescuing from anything. Don't wander off. Sweet dreams.

The DOCTOR leaves and the children settle onto the couches.

INT. WEBLEY'S, CHESS ROOM

WEBLEY enters the chess room and takes a bite of the sandwich as he puts the chess pieces back in place.

WEBLEY: Mmm. Mmm! Total takings for the day - one sandwich. Better than no sandwich, of course. Not as good as TWO sandwiches, or even a chicken...

The CYBERMAN'S hands grip WEBLEY'S wrists.

WEBLEY: That's a bit odd. (tries to pull hands free) That's not funny, give me my hands back.

Dozens of the small insects that had so intrigued the DOCTOR crawl out from the CYBERMAN'S and down his body and over to WEBLEY. WEBLEY jerks as he tries to escape and cries out.

CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress!

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

ANGIE is standing, trying to get reception on her phone.

ANGIE: I HATE the future. It's stupid. There's not even phone service. (sets phone on table) I'm out of here.

ARTIE: The Doctor said to not wander off.

ANGIE: He said that, and then he wandered off.

ANGIE and ARTIE do not see the bugs crawling all over her phone.

ARTIE: I don't think Clara would like that.

ANGIE: She's not our mum.

ARTIE: Don't leave me here.

ANGIE leaves not realizing that she and ARTIE have been under surveillance.

INT. TERMIAL

CLARA walks with PORRIDGE along disused tracks for what was either a ride or a form of transport around the park. The DOCTOR is ahead of them inspecting and scanning.

CLARA: Was this really the biggest amusement park in the universe?

PORRIDGE: Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet cheap. It'd been trashed in the Cyber-Wars.

CLARA: Who were we fighting?

PORRIDGE: Cybermen. Technologically upgraded warriors. We couldn't win. Sometimes we fought to a draw, but then they'd upgrade themselves, fix their weaknesses and destroy us. It's hard to fight an enemy that uses your armies as spare parts.

CLARA: You b*at them, though - b*at them or you wouldn't be here. How?

They stop at the edge of the hangar and PORRIDGE points to the sky.

PORRIDGE: Look up there - that corner of the sky. What do you see?

There is a bright ring of light surrounding nothingness.

CLARA: Nothing. It's just black. No stars, no nothing.

PORRIDGE: Used to be the Tiberion Spiral Galaxy. A million star systems. A hundred million worlds. A billion trillion people. It's not there anymore. No more Tiberion galaxy. No more Cybermen. It was effective.

CLARA: It's horrible.

PORRIDGE: Yeah. I feel like a monster sometimes.

CLARA: Why?

PORRIDGE: Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people, I just feel sorry for the poor blighter who had to press the button and blow it all up.

The DOCTOR looks out onto the park through the empty shell of the piece he's examining.

DOCTOR: Clara! Did you tell Angie she could go to the barracks?

CLARA: You KNOW I didn't. She hasn't...

DOCTOR: She's just gone in there.

CLARA: Come on.

INT. BARRACKS

The CAPTAIN is walking with another woman, BEAUTY, who sets a dismantled piece of equipment down on a bench.

BEAUTY: I can't fix this.

CAPTAIN: It can't be broken. It's a solid state sub-ether ansible class communicator. Just run the diagnostics.

BEAUTY: There's nothing left to diagnose. It's not broken. It's empty. All the components have gone.

CAPTAIN: Well, you must have replacement parts. (turns away)

BEAUTY: Not enough to build a new one.

A bespectacled soldier, BRAINS, approaches the CAPTAIN.

BRAINS: Captain, the weather-controller is malfunctioning again. There's storms, heat waves, snow.

BEAUTY comes up behind the CAPTAIN and puts a hand on her shoulder, pointing to the doorway. ANGIE is standing there.

ANGIE: Hello. I'm bored!

CAPTAIN: Where's your big sister?

ANGIE: (walks into the room) Clara? She's not my sister. She's stupid. She's talking to Porridge.

CAPTAIN: She talks to her porridge?

ANGIE: Porridge. That little bloke.

The CAPTAIN'S smile falters and she puts an arm around ANGIE.

CAPTAIN: We need to have a chat. (takes ANGIE away from the others)

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

ARTIE is alone in the dark surrounded by creepy statues. He sits up on the couch.

ARTIE: I'm not scared, if you're wondering. I just think I ought to turn the lights back on.

ARTIE gets up and walks cautiously over to the switch, looking nervously around him. He runs the last bit to the switch and turns on the light, smiling at the accomplishment. He doesn't see the CYBERMAN come up behind him and puts a hand over his mouth.

INT. BARRACKS

ANGIE is walking with the CAPTAIN, a mug in her hand.

CAPTAIN: So, tell me about the little bloke.

ANGIE: Well, you must have seen him.

CLARA and the DOCTOR enter the barracks and stride over to ANGIE.

CLARA: Angie, Angie!

ANGIE: She has to turn up and spoil everything! I wasn't doing anything! Why can't you just leave me alone?!

There is a crash as the doors burst open. Everyone turns to see a CYBERMAN standing in the doorway.

CAPTAIN: Cyberman!

The DOCTOR scans it with the sonic as the soldiers scramble for weapons and cover.

DOCTOR: Angie!

CAPTAIN: att*ck formation!

The CYBERMAN moves forward with blurred speed. One of the soldiers goes to att*ck it bare-handed.

CAPTAIN: No!

The DOCTOR pulls CLARA to cover. One of the soldiers hands the CAPTAIN a g*n as they take cover.

CAPTAIN: att*ck formation - quickly!

They fire at the CYBERMAN. It is hit but the force barely knocks it.

CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress!

The DOCTOR uses the sonic on the CYBERMAN.

CLARA: Angie!

The CYBERMAN moves so quickly, the others seem to stand still. It heads straight for ANGIE, picking her up and putting her over its shoulder. The girl screams. They are gone before anyone has turned around.

CLARA: Angie! (runs after ANGIE)

DOCTOR: Clara, Clara...! (grabs her hand and pulls her back)

CAPTAIN: That was a Cyberman! But they're extinct. (walks away from the DOCTOR and CLARA)

DOCTOR: Listen to me, I will get her back. (walks over to CAPTAIN) Captain, a word, please. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I take it your platoon doesn't do much fighting?

CAPTAIN: What do you expect?

CLARA: What?

CAPTAIN: We're a punishment platoon. It's why they sent us out here, so we can't get into trouble.

DOCTOR: Ah, right, right, well, OK. As Imperial Consul, (takes badge of rank off the CAPTAIN'S uniform and pins it on CLARA) I am putting Clara in charge. Clara, stay alive until I get back, and don't let anyone blow up this planet. (snaps his fingers and walks away)

CLARA: Is that something they're likely to do?

DOCTOR: (keeps walking) Get to somewhere defensible.

CLARA: Where are YOU going?

DOCTOR: (stops and turns around) I'm getting Angie, finding Artie and looking for funny insects. Stay alive. And you lot,

no blowing up this planet! (leaves)

INT. WEBLEY'S, CHESS ROOM

The CYBERMAN brings a kicking ANGIE into the room.

ANGIE: Put me down! I hate you!

It puts her down and she turns around to see WEBLEY and ARTIE standing motionless. WEBLEY looks to have metal encasing one side of his face – a la Phantom of the Opera – and ARTIE has a blinking implant attached to his head by his ear.

ANGIE: Artie? Artie, what's happening?

ARTIE: Please stand by. You will be upgraded.

ANGIE screams. WEBLEY raises a finger to his lips and we see his arm has been converted as well.

INT. BARRACKS

The CAPTAIN walks with CLARA as the soldiers unload cases of weapons.

CAPTAIN: Cyberiad class weaponry. I've taken it out of storage.

CLARA: Good. We need to find somewhere defensible. Where?

The CAPTAIN shows CLARA a large painted mural of the park and uses a pointer.

CAPTAIN: The beach, the Giant's Cauldron... Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.

CLARA: Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat?

CAPTAIN: Yes. But comical.

CLARA: We'll go there.

CAPTAIN: Ma'am... My platoon can deal with one Cyberman. And there are protocols if we cannot immediately find and destroy it.

CLARA: Blowing-up-the-planet protocols?

CAPTAIN: Respectfully, ma'am...

CLARA: Somewhere defensible. No blowing up the planet.

PORRIDGE: (walks over) She's your commanding officer now, isn't she, Captain?

CAPTAIN: Yes... sir.

CLARA leaves.

PORRIDGE: You really saw a Cyberman?

CAPTAIN: We really did.

PORRIDGE: Have you reported it to the Imperium?

CAPTAIN: No communicators.

PORRIDGE: So you're going to do what she says. Right, let's all spend the night at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.

INT. WEBLEY'S, MAIN ROOM

The DOCTOR runs into the room to find the lights on and ARTIE missing.

DOCTOR: Artie?

The DOCTOR hurries down the stairs and sees one of the insects on a table by the couches. He leans over and talks into it.

DOCTOR: Firstly, if anybody's watching this, those children are under my protection. I'm coming to get them. And secondly... little metal machine... you are beautiful. (scans it with sonic before picking it up by the tail) Not even a Cybermat any more, eh? Cybermites? (sets it in his palm)

INT. WEBLEY'S, CHESS ROOM

The DOCTOR enters the room, holding the Cybermite in his hand. He sees the Cyberman is missing.

DOCTOR: (uses the sonic on the Cybermite) Now... there's a local transmat link open to your home. If I can just find the frequency...

The DOCTOR holds up the sonic and disappears in a flash of light.

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

The DOCTOR appears in the base.

DOCTOR: Hey, that really shouldn't have worked.

ANGIE: (O.C.) (monotone) Doctor, help us.

DOCTOR: Angie! Artie!

The DOCTOR runs over to the children and sees the implant. He scans them with the sonic. He then turns and sees WEBLEY.

DOCTOR: Webley?

WEBLEY: (walks out from the shadows) We needed children, but the children had stopped coming. You brought us children. Hail to you, the Doctor, saviour of the Cybermen! (salutes by putting his right hand to his chest)

EXT. CASTLE

CLARA, PORRIDGE and the soldiers approach the castle.

CLARA: What would the Empire do if they WERE alerted?

CAPTAIN: I told you - tell me to blow up the planet.

CLARA: After they got us off?

PORRIDGE: Captain, you want to take that one?

CAPTAIN: No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up.

They come to a stop at the foot of the drawbridge.

CLARA: Drawbridge, moat - brilliant.

BRAINS: With respect, ma'am, we ought to be hunting the creature.

CLARA: (turns around) The only reason I'm still alive is because I do what the Doctor says. (walks up to BRAINS) Can you guarantee me you'd bring back my children alive and unharmed? (BRAINS shakes his head) I trust the Doctor.

CAPTAIN: You think he knows what he's doing?

CLARA: I'm not sure I'd go THAT far. (CLARA smiles and heads for the drawbridge)

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

The DOCTOR and WEBLEY stand on either side of a small table in the center of the room

WEBLEY: As the battle raged between humanity and the Cyberiad, the Cyber-Planners built a Valkyrie, to save critically damaged units and bring them here and, one by one, repair them.

DOCTOR: The people who vanished from the amusement park - they were spare parts for repairs.

WEBLEY: We've upgraded ourselves. The next model will be undefeatable.

DOCTOR: Nothing's undefeatable.

WEBLEY walks over to the children and the DOCTOR moves parallel to him and puts his hands protectively on them.

WEBLEY: We needed children to build a new Cyber-Planner. A child's brain, with its infinite potential, is perfect for our needs. But we no longer need the children. The Cybermites have been scanning YOUR brain, Doctor. It's quite remarkable. (walks towards the DOCTOR and he backs away)

DOCTOR: Also completely useless to you. Cybermen use human parts. I'm not human. You can't convert non-humans.

WEBLEY: Well, that was true a long time ago. But we've upgraded ourselves. Current Cyber units use almost any living components.

WEBLEY opens his hands to reveal Cybermites. He throws them at the DOCTOR. They crawl up him and into him. He cries out in pain as he is bent over backwards against the table as he is "upgraded". He stands up with a gasp when the process is done. He has metal webbed across the left side of his face.

DOCTOR: (deeper voice) Incorporated. Yes. (pats himself down) Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up. Nervous system hyperconductive. Remarkable brain processing speed. Ooh! Amazing!

The DOCTOR'S body jerks as we hear an electronic sound.

DOCTOR: (normal voice) Get out of my head!

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

The DOCTOR'S mind is a neutral space with numerous equations and formulae floating around. The DOCTOR'S side is a warm brown and the CYBERDOCTOR'S side is a cold blue. The DOCTOR strides across the space to confront his "unwanted guest". Pictures of CLARA flash behind them.

DOCTOR: Stop rummaging in my mind!

CYBERDOCTOR: Just you try and stop me. Ooh, who's Clara? Why are you thinking about her so much?

DOCTOR: Enough!

CYBERDOCTOR: Fascinating. A complete mental block. Highly effective.

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

The CYBERDOCTOR whirls around.

CYBERDOCTOR: Relax, relax. If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience. You are being upgraded and incorporated into the Cyberiad as a Cyber-Planner.

DOCTOR: Get out of my head!

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

DOCTOR: What is this place? A network? A hive? You're getting signals from every Cyberman everywhere. How many of you are there?

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

CYBERDOCTOR: Oh... this is brilliant! I'm so clever already, and now I'm a million times more clever. (spins across the room) And what a brain! Not a human brain, not even SLIGHTLY human. (leans against table) I mean, I'll have to completely rewrite the neural interface, but this is going to be the most efficient (leaps onto table, arms outstretched) Cyber-Planner! Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself Mr Clever. So much raw data... Time Lords. There's information on the Time Lords in here! Oh, this is just dreamy!

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

DOCTOR: Right, I'm allowing you access to memories on Time Lord regeneration.

Images of the DOCTOR'S past incarnations flash behind them.

CYBERDOCTOR: (claps hands) Fantastic!

DOCTOR: I could regenerate now. Big blast of regeneration energy, burn out any little Cyber widgets in my brain, along with everything you're connected to. Don't want to. You diss me up, who knows what we'll get next? But I can. (points at CYBERDOCTOR)

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

CYBERDOCTOR: Stalemate, then. (strides across the room) One of us needs to control this head. We're too well-balanced.

The DOCTOR'S body jerks as he regains control.

DOCTOR: What did you say? No, no, no, I heard you. Rhetorical device to keep me thinking about it a bit more. Stalemate.

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

CYBERDOCTOR: We each control 49.881% of this brain. 0.238 of the brain is still in the balance. Whoever gets this gets the whole thing.

DOCTOR: Do you play chess?

CYBERDOCTOR: The rules of chess are in my memory banks. You're proposing we play chess to end the stalemate?

DOCTOR: Winner takes all. Nobody can access that portion of the brain without winning the game.

The two shake hands.

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

CYBERDOCTOR: You can't win!

His body jerks.

DOCTOR: Try me.

His body jerks.

CYBERDOCTOR: You understand, when I DO win, the Cyberiad gets your brains and memories. All of it.

His body jerks.

DOCTOR: When I win, you get out of my head, you let the children go, and nobody dies. You got that? Nobody dies!

INT. POWER STATION, BASEMENT

A lone soldier, MISSY, is on patrol. She looks around nervously at every sound.

SOLDIER: (over radio)
Castle's clear. Missy, confirm status.

MISSY: All clear in the power station.

MISSY hears a clanking sound and sees a shadow move up ahead. She moves forward cautiously and hides behind some barrels.

MISSY: It's Missy. Something's out there.

SOLDIER: (over radio)
What do you mean? Is it the Cyberman?

MISSY: I don't know. I couldn't see it. It was only for a moment. Can I hide? Is it OK if I hide?

The CYBERMAN appears.

MISSY: (pulls her g*n) DON'T MOVE! I'M IN THE ARMY!

The CYBERMAN advances and MISSY runs and hides. The CYBERMAN passes her hiding place. It stops and turns around. Its hand drops to the floor and crawls away. MISSY takes a few deep breaths. She turns and screams just before the CYBERMAN'S hand jumps to her face.

INT. CASTLE, GALLERY

CLARA is striding along the gallery above the courtyard when BRAINS finds her.

BRAINS: Erm, ma'am, Missy said she saw something, and then she went quiet.

Ahead of her are PORRIDGE and the CAPTAIN with some other soldiers. They have some weapons spread in front of them.

CLARA: It's on its way, then. Weapons! Show me. (squats) Only one g*n?

CAPTAIN: Cybermen have been extinct for 1,000 years. Even one Anti-Cyber g*n is a miracle. These things are hand-pulsars. (slips it on like a glove) Touch the back of a Cyberman's head, the electromagnetic pulse deactivates it.

CLARA: What's this for? Just a mad guess here - it blows up the planet?

CAPTAIN: Implodes it. There's also a trigger unit. (holds up thin cylinder)

CLARA: I'll have that, then. (takes cylinder) Is there any other way to activate the b*mb?

CAPTAIN: It's set to respond to MY voice. I have the verbal code.

CLARA: You will not activate it without a direct order from me.

The CAPTAIN stands and walks around to face CLARA who also stands.

CAPTAIN: I will follow my orders.

CLARA: Your orders come from me. Don't they?

The two women stare at each other.

BRAINS: You'll need to sign for that trigger unit, ma'am. (holds out clipboard)

CLARA: Thanks. (takes clipboard and signs)

PORRIDGE: (holds a hand pulsar) Mind if I take one of these? Might be handy.

CLARA looks over at him and smiles. The CAPTAIN is annoyed.

CAPTAIN: Help yourself. I'll teach you how to use it. Upstairs. Now.

PORRIDGE looks at her knowing that what is going to be said will not be good. The CAPTAIN leaves and he follows.
INT. CYBERMEN BASE

A chess board has been set up on the table.

CYBERDOCTOR: There. That was easy.

DOCTOR: The game... has just started. (moves a white piece)

CYBERDOCTOR: Doctor... why is there no record of you anywhere in the databanks of the Cyberiad? (moves black knight) Oh. You're good. You've been eliminating yourself from history. You know, you could be reconstructed by the hole you've left.

DOCTOR: Good point. I'll do something about that. (moves white knight)

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

CYBERDOCTOR: The rules of chess allow only a finite number of moves. And I can use other Cyber units as remote processors. You cannot possibly win.

DOCTOR: I can. I know things you don't. For example, did you know... very early versions of the Cyber operating system could be seriously scrambled by exposure to things, like gold or cleaning fluid? And what's interesting is, you're still running some of that code.

CYBERDOCTOR: Really? That's your secret w*apon? Cleaning fluid?

INT. CYBERMEN BASE

DOCTOR: Nope. Gold. (slaps the gold ticket on his face) Ho-ho! Like a charm. Right, you, Cyber... Webley. And you, kid... things. I'll bring the chessboard. Let's get out of here. (sweeps the pieces into his arms)

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

PORRIDGE looks at the pulsar on his hand.

PORRIDGE: You knew it was me.

CAPTAIN: I was in the Imperial Guard on Caspertine. Mostly just parades. But I had the honour to guard the old Emperor during the ice picnic.

They are being watched by a Cybermite.

PORRIDGE: When the snow bears came and danced for us. That was a day.

CAPTAIN: We're a punishment platoon. We can't b*at a Cyberman. The Imperium has to know what's happening.

PORRIDGE: Like you said, the communicators are out. The only way you can report this now is to activate the b*mb.

CAPTAIN: Yes!

PORRIDGE: And I forbid you to do that.

CLARA climbs the stairs and joins them.

CLARA: I don't get it. Why would you blow up a whole planet, and everybody on it, just to get rid of one Cyberman? (sits)

PORRIDGE: We tried other ways. But they only work sometimes. So now we take drastic action. And it works.

CAPTAIN: If you find a Cyberman and you can't destroy it immediately, you implode the planet. I was sent here because I didn't follow orders. I can make up for that.

The CAPTAIN turns around and PORRIDGE looks at CLARA. The CAPTAIN picks up the b*mb and CLARA stands and confronts her.

CLARA: Put it down, I forbid you!

PORRIDGE: Yeah. What she said.

CAPTAIN: You ran away. I will do what I was brought up to do. Live for the Empire, fight for the Empire, die for the Empire. This is Captain Alice Ferrin, (pushes past CLARA) Imperial ID 19-delta-13B. Activate...

A beam fires right at the CAPTAIN and she falls dead.

PORRIDGE: Cyberman! Get down!

Two soldiers run over and check for a pulse.

EXT. CASTLE

The CYBERMAN looks up at the galleries from outside before walking away.

INT. CASTLE, HALLS

CLARA leads the soldiers through the castle.

CLARA: The Doctor said to get somewhere easily defensible. But if we stay in the castle, it'll pick us off one by one. We have to take it out.

One of the soldiers, a heavyset man known as HA-HA questions her.

HA-HA: Is that an order, ma'am?

CLARA: (walks back) Yes.

HA-HA: Good.

CLARA: You know what to do.

BRAINS: Pulse to the back of the head. Fry the brain circuit interface.

CLARA: It's going to be hard to get in close enough.

INT. WAREHOUSE

A female SOLDIER slowly walks the floor watching for Cybermen. She sees a head and goes to pick it up only to be att*cked by the rest of the Cyberman as it comes up behind her. It lowers her to the ground before replacing its head. In a different area, a Cyberman lowers two soldiers to the floor and makes for HA-HA who is standing just outside the door.

HA-HA: I've heard about the Cybermen since I was in my cradle. I'm not afraid of you!

The Cyberman moves towards HA-HA.

CLARA: Now!

HA-HA jumps out of the way and CLARA fires the pulse r*fle, disintegrating the Cyberman. Standing, HA-HA laughs. CLARA looks amazed. The two soldiers stand, cyber-implants at their left ears.

HA-HA: Hold it right there!

CLARA: What's happening to them? (prepares to fire again) One more step, and I fire!

HA-HA: Don't fire that. A pulse will deactivate them.

Two soldiers come up on either side of the first two and use the pulsars on them, knocking them unconscious.

HA-HA: And anyway... it's a waste of charge. We may need it again.

CLARA: You don't think that was the only one, then?

HA-HA shakes his head and they head back to the castle.

EXT. CASTLE

The DOCTOR is making his way to the castle. WEBLEY, ANGIE and ARTIE are following him. The soldiers surround him. He holds the chessboard in front of his face.

DOCTOR: Don't sh**t, don't sh**t! (lowers board) I'm nice! Please, don't sh**t! (sees CLARA) Hey, Clara, you haven't let them blow up the planet. Good job.

CLARA: Did you get the kids? Are they all right? What's going on?

DOCTOR: Bit of a good news/bad news/good news again thing going on. So... Good news - I've kidnapped their Cyber-Planner, and right now I'm sort of in control of this Cyberman.

CLARA: Bad news?

DOCTOR: Bad news - the Cyber-Planner's in my head. And DIFFERENT bad news - the kids are... Well, it's complicated.

CLARA: Complicated how?

DOCTOR: Complicated, as in walking coma.

The DOCTOR hides behind the chessboard once again and ducks behind the children. CLARA hurries forward and looks at them both. She raises the g*n.

CLARA: Please tell me you can wake them up.

DOCTOR: (sing-song) Hope so.

CLARA: Other good news?

DOCTOR: (backs away from CLARA) Well, in other good news, there are a few more repaired and reactivated Cybermen on the way. And the Cyber-Planner's installing a patch for the gold thing. No, wait, that isn't not good news, is it? Um, so... Good news – (holds chessboard over his head) I have a very good chance of winning my chess match.

CLARA: (lowers g*n) What?

DOCTOR: I'll explain later. In a bit of a hurry. (starts up the drawbridge) Get me to a table. (stops and turns) And somebody tie me up! Need hands free for chess. (starts and turns around again) And immobilise me. Quickly. (runs into the castle)

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

The DOCTOR has set up the chessboard on a table in front of the throne. CLARA ties him to the chair, leaving his hands free. WEBLEY, ANGIE and ARTIE are standing on the floor facing him.

DOCTOR: Right, that's good. I won't be able to move, but... hands free. Good.

CLARA: You're playing chess with yourself?

DOCTOR: And winning.

The DOCTOR'S hand raises and rips off the golden ticket.

CYBERDOCTOR: Actually, he has no better than a 25% chance of winning at this stage in the game. Some very dodgy moves at the beginning. Hello, flesh-girl. Fantastic! I'm the Cyber-Planner.

CLARA: (walks around to face him) Doctor...?

CYBERDOCTOR: Afraid not. I'm working the mouth now. Allons-y! Oh, you should see the state of these neurons - he's had some cowboys in here. Ten complete re-jigs.

CLARA: You aren't the Doctor.

CYBERDOCTOR: No, but I know who YOU are. You're the impossible girl. Ooh, he's very interested in you.

CLARA: Why am I impossible?

CYBERDOCTOR: Hasn't he told you? The sly devil. Oh, dear me. Soon, we wake, we'll strip you down for spare parts, then build a spaceship and move on.

CLARA: More Cybermen?

CYBERDOCTOR: They're waking from their tomb right now. You can either die or live on as one of us.

CLARA: The Doctor will stop you.

CLARA hears a scratching sound and looks down at the DOCTOR'S right hand that is writing on a notepad. It reads "Hit me".

CYBERDOCTOR: He can't even access the lips.

CLARA slaps his face.

DOCTOR: Owwww! Ow! Oh, that hurt! No, stop! Enough! Bit of pain, neural surge - just what I needed. Thanks.

CLARA: Why am I the impossible girl?

DOCTOR: It's a thing in my head. I'll explain later.

CLARA: Chess game - stakes?

DOCTOR: If he wins, I give up my mind and he gets access to all my memories, along with knowledge of time travel. But if I win, he'll break his promises to get out of my head and then k*ll us anyway.

CLARA: That's not reassuring.

DOCTOR: No.

CLARA: Please tell me you can fix what happened to the children.

DOCTOR: Children. Yeah. They're fine. I mean, right now their brains are just in stand-by mode.

CLARA: That is not fine!

CYBERDOCTOR: Listen, right now, they have a better chance of getting out of this situation alive than you do.

CLARA: Which one of you said that?

CYBERDOCTOR: Me. Cyber-Planner. Mr Clever. Now, if you don't mind, I have a (pokes CLARA in the forehead) chess game to finish. And YOU have to die - pointlessly and very far from home. Toodle-oo.

CLARA leaves.

EXT. CASTLE, DRAWBRIDGE

CLARA walks through the main gate followed by BRAINS, holding the g*n. PORRIDGE is with the soldiers on guard duty.

CLARA: Apparently there are more Cybermen on the way.

BRAINS: There's at least a dozen more sh*ts left in the g*n before it needs to recharge.

CLARA: We might have more than a dozen Cybermen to worry about. What's that cable?

PORRIDGE: Power line for the park.

CLARA: What'd happen if we dropped the end into the moat and turned it on?

HA-HA: (smiles) Fry anything that entered the water.

CLARA: Can Cybermen fly?

BRAINS: No, ma'am.

CLARA: First good news of the day. Do it.

They lower the cable into the water and turn on the power. It bursts with power on contact and continues to crackle. The soldiers retreat into the castle and raise the drawbridge.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

The chess match continues. The DOCTOR moves a white piece before he jerks back in the seat.

INT. DOCTOR'S MIND

DOCTOR: Stop that! I felt that.

CYBERDOCTOR: Of course you did. It's time to get up. Wakey wakey, boys and girls. Wakey wakey.

INT. TOMBS

The Cybermen awake and become active. They march out in the thousands.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA, PORRIDGE and the soldiers set up a line of defense. CLARA rubs her hands in the chill and PORRIDGE hands her a cup of soup.

PORRIDGE: There. Get that in you. Warm you up.

CLARA: Oh, thank you, Porridge.

As CLARA raises the cups to her lips, the DOCTOR calls from inside.

DOCTOR: (O.C.) Oi, Clara!

CLARA: (lowers cup) I'll see what he wants. Call me if there's any change. (heads inside)

PORRIDGE: Right.

EXT. PARK

The Cybermen march towards the castle.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

The DOCTOR smiles when CLARA enters the room. She checks the children's responses by snapping her fingers in front of their faces.

DOCTOR: Hey! Clara, there you are. Now, quick rundown. What's our weapons strength?

CLARA: (walks over to the DOCTOR) One big g*n, five of those hand pulsar units and a shiny black b*mb that implodes the planet.

DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, that one. Now, tell me, does it happen, possibly, to have a remote triggery thing?

CLARA pulls the trigger from her pocket and holds it up.

DOCTOR: Brilliant. Pass it here.

CLARA: No.

DOCTOR: Why not?

CLARA: In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are you, just in case.

DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry. The Cyber-Planner's hibernating between moves right now. Sssh.

CLARA: (leans over on table) Prove you're you. Tell me something only the Doctor knows.

DOCTOR: Clara... I suppose... I'm the only one who knows how I feel about you right now. How funny you are - so funny... and pretty. And the truth is, I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just...

The DOCTOR leans in for a kiss and CLARA slaps him again.

DOCTOR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's me! That really hurt! How did you know that was him?!

CLARA: Because even if that WAS true - which it's obviously not - I know you that you would rather die than say it. Finish your stupid game!

CLARA swings her right arm at him and the DOCTOR'S left hand reaches out and grabs it.

CLARA: (tries to pull herself free) Doctor, let go.

DOCTOR: I can't. He's got control of the left arm. (tries to regain control of his arm) Aaargh! Aaaargh! No! No! (the trigger is smashed to pieces against the table) Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!

CLARA: Doctor?

DOCTOR: He got what he wanted. He destroyed the trigger. My move.

CLARA: What do you mean, he got what he wanted?

CYBERDOCTOR: He means... good news, boys and girls! THEY'RE HEERE!

EXT. PARK

The Cybermen line the walkway from the main section of the park to the castle. There are thousands, possibly millions.

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

CLARA leans against the wall having seen what they are up against.

CLARA: One g*n, five hand pulsars and a planet-smashing b*mb that doesn't work anymore.

BRAINS: Why not?

CLARA: Broken trigger unit.

BRAINS: But you signed for that.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: I've learned so much from you, Doctor. It's been an education. But now it's time for the endgame. (Slams down chess pieces)

EXT. CASTLE

The Cybermen march on the castle, stopping at the moat. One steps into the water. Sparks fly from its body and it moves jerkily, bending over.

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

CLARA and the others laugh when they see their plan working.

CLARA: Brilliant.

EXT. CASTLE

The CYBERMAN in the moat straightens.

CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress.

The CYBERMAN continues to cross the moat and the others follow.

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

CLARA and the others laugh when they see their plan working.

CLARA: Damn. (looks at the soldiers) Who's our best sh*t?

HA-HA: Probably it's me.

BRAINS hands the g*n to CLARA who takes it over to HA-HA.

CLARA: sh**t any of them who make it across. The rest of you, take defensive positions. (the soldiers head off) Porridge?

PORRIDGE: Yes?

CLARA: Keep yourself safe.

As CLARA looks over the rail, PORRIDGE hurries away.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

HA-HA and BEAUTY take up position across from the main gate. HA-HA fires as the first Cyberman comes through the door. They laugh. When more Cybermen make their way through the door, HA-HA and BEAUTY'S smiles fall.

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

PORRIDGE covers the CAPTAIN'S body.

PORRIDGE: Alice Ferrin... you should have destroyed this planet when you had the chance. (picks up the b*mb)

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: They're nearly here. Now, you can take my bishop and keep limping on for a little longer. Or you can sacrifice your queen, and get the children back, but it's mate in five moves. And I get your mind.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

HA-HA: Go!

HA-HA and BEAUTY run to a different position. The Cybermen sh**t the other soldiers as they run for cover. HA-HA fires at another Cybermen blowing its head to smithereens.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

DOCTOR: Take my queen. And give me back the children. (moves the queen)

CYBERDOCTOR: Emotions! Can't you see what a foolish move that was? You've lost the game!

DOCTOR: Kids! Back! Now!

ANGIE and ARTIE fall to their knees. The CYBERDOCTOR takes the DOCTOR'S queen and kisses the piece.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

HA-HA and BEAUTY run along the walls as they are fired upon.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: Emotions, Doctor - all for two human children you barely know. And it was a pointless sacrifice anyway.

ANGIE stands and looks around.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

HA-HA sh**t another Cyberman.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: So, Doctor... do you think the children's death will affect your relationship with Miss Clara?

PORRIDGE enters with the b*mb.

INT. CASTLE, UPPER GALLERY

Cybermen chase CLARA and BRAINS, f*ring at them.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

WEBLEY turns to face the children.

WEBLEY: Welcome to Webley's World Of Wonders, children. Now presenting delights, delicacies... and death.

The CYBERDOCTOR hides a smile behind his hand.

ANGIE: Doctor!

PORRIDGE hurries over and applies his hand pulsar to WEBLEY'S leg. WEBLEY reflexively kicks PORRIDGE away and the man lands at the base of the table holding the chess board. WEBLEY'S cybernetics spark.

DOCTOR: Angie, are you, OK? Just look after Artie, OK?

ANGIE kneels beside her brother.

INT. CASTLE, GALLERY

BEAUTY is following a Cyberman, ready to hit it with her pulsar. Its head swivels around and she gasps in shock.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

More Cybermen march through the main gate as CLARA, HA-HA and BRAINS are running across. HA-HA fires at the lead Cyberman, but it is only knocked back.

CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

WEBLEY turns to face the children.

DOCTOR: Your move. But before you take it, just so you know, sacrificing my queen was the best possible move I could have made. The Time Lords invented chess. It's our game. And if you don't avoid MY trap, it gives ME mate in three moves.

CYBERDOCTOR: How?

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA picks up a mace to use against the Cybermen.

HA-HA: I've got no charge left!

The Cybermen advance and the three back away.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: How?

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA swings the mace at the lead Cyberman. It grabs the mace from her hand and throws it to the ground as it continues to advance.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

DOCTOR: Oh, come on. Call yourself a chess-playing robot?

CYBERDOCTOR: How?

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA and the others are backed towards the wall.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

DOCTOR: You figure it out!

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA and the others are backed towards the wall.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

DOCTOR: Or don't you have the processing power? Hmm? (twiddles bow tie)

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA and the others are pressed against the wall.

CYBERMAN: Please stand by - you will be upgraded. Welcome to the Cyberiad.

The Cybermen reach out their hands towards the three.

CYBERMAN: You will be upgraded. Welcome to the Cyberiad. You will be upgraded... You will be upgraded...

The Cybermen freeze, their hands a fraction away from touching human skin. CLARA, BRAINS and HA-HA laugh in relief.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

DOCTOR: What are you doing?

CYBERDOCTOR: Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor! I'm pulling in extra processing power. Three million Cyberbrains are working on one tiny chess problem. How long do you think it's going to take us to solve it?

DOCTOR: That's cheating!

CYBERDOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no. Just pulling in the local resources.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA, HA-HA and BRAINS duck under the frozen arms of the Cybermen.

CLARA: Woo-oo-oo.

CLARA backs away from the first line and nearly runs into the second line with a gasp. They run from the

courtyard.


INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

CYBERDOCTOR: There's no way you can get to mate in three moves.

DOCTOR: Three moves! Want to know what they are?

CYBERDOCTOR: You're lying!

DOCTOR: No! (reaches over and takes pulsar from PORRIDGE'S hand) Move one – (reaches into pocket and pulls out sonic) turn on sonic screwdriver. (turns on sonic) Move two - activate pulsar. (uses sonic on pulsar) Move three - amplify pulsar.

The DOCTOR slips the pulsar onto his right hand and lifts it towards his face. His left hand reaches across to stop the right, pushing it away.

DOCTOR: See ya. (puts pulsar to his face)

The DOCTOR'S body jerks as the energy runs through it.

CYBERDOCTOR: That's cheating!

The cybernetics on his face spark and he falls face-down onto the table. CLARA runs into the room followed by soldiers. The DOCTOR sits up, the cybernetics gone from his face. CLARA hurries to the DOCTOR.

DOCTOR: Just taking advantage of the local resources. (throws pulsar over his shoulder) Ah, hello. Can someone untie me, please?

CLARA: Do you think I'm pretty?

DOCTOR: No! You're too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny.

CLARA: Good enough. (unties the DOCTOR) What happened to the Cyber-Planner?

DOCTOR: Out of my head and redistributed across three million Cybermen. About to wake them up, k*ll us and start constructing a spaceship. (gets up and hurries to the b*mb) We need to destroy this planet before they can get off it. OK. (scans b*mb) It has a fallback voice activation.

PORRIDGE wakes and sits up.

HA-HA: The Captain. But she's dead.

ANGIE: I think you should ask Porridge.

CLARA: Why?

ANGIE: Well, he is the Emperor. I bet HE knows the activation codes.

PORRIDGE looks down at the floor. CLARA looks between PORRIDGE and ANGIE.

ANGIE: Oh, come on, it's obvious. He looks exactly like he does on the coin and on the waxwork, except they made him a bit taller, but... Look, am I the only one paying attention to ANYTHING around here?

CLARA: You are full of surprises. (turns to PORRIDGE) Porridge?

PORRIDGE: She's right.

CLARA: So you can save us?

PORRIDGE: We all die in the end. Does it matter how?

The DOCTOR sets the b*mb in front of PORRIDGE.

BRAINS: What do we do?

PORRIDGE: I don't want to be Emperor. If I activate that b*mb, it's all over.

DOCTOR: And if you don't, three million Cybermen will spread across the galaxy. Isn't that worth dying for?

PORRIDGE: Doctor...

DOCTOR: Three million Cybermen!

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

CLARA, HA-HA and BRAINS duck under the frozen arms of the Cybermen.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

PORRIDGE: The b*mb, the throne, it's all connected. I just have to say, "This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, called Longstaff the 41st, the defender of humanity, imperator of known space. Activate the Desolator." (the b*mb activates) And it's done.

The DOCTOR scans the b*mb with the sonic.

INT. CASTLE, COURTYARD

The Cybermen are on the march.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

PORRIDGE: It'll blow in about 80 seconds. Easily long enough for the Imperial Flagship to locate me from my identification, warp-jump into orbit, and transmat us to the State Room. (closes his eyes)

INT. SHIP, STATE ROOM

They are transported to the imperial spaceship. PORRIDGE stands on a multi-level dais. Behind him is a large window overlooking the planet. The DOCTOR, CLARA, ANGIE, ARTIE and the soldiers are on the floor. There are two techs standing at pedestals.

DOCTOR: (looks around) Oh, yeah! Nice ship. Bit big. Not blue enough. (steps onto the dais and talks with PORRIDGE) Listen, there is a large blue box at co-ordinates six ultra 19P. I need it transmatted up here right away.

PORRIDGE: Right. (looks at tech) Did you get that?

The tech nods.

INT. CASTLE, THRONE ROOM

The Cybermen enter the throne room and march towards the b*mb. It is counting down from 13.

INT. SHIP, STATE ROOM

Everyone steps towards the window. CLARA has her arm around ARTIE'S shoulder.

PORRIDGE: And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79...

The planet explodes and they are knocked around from the blast. ARTIE, ANGIE and CLARA sit on the steps of the dais.

PORRIDGE: Fairwell, Cyberiad. You know... it was GOOD to get away. Good to be a person and not to be lonely or Emperor of 1,000 galaxies, with everybody waiting for ME to tell them what to do.

ARTIE: Can't you run away again?

PORRIDGE: They'll be keeping a close eye on me this time. That's what happens when you're Emperor - loneliest job in the Universe.

CLARA: You don't have to be lonely.

Standing on the opposite side of the dais, the DOCTOR smiles at CLARA'S caring nature.

PORRIDGE: I don't. (faces CLARA gets down on one knee) Clara... will you marry me?

The DOCTOR is stunned by the question. CLARA doesn't believe it.

CLARA: What?

ARTIE: He said...

ANGIE: She heard what he said.

PORRIDGE: You're smart and you're beautiful, and I've never met anyone like you before. And being Emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side. And you'd rule 1,000 galaxies.

The DOCTOR leans over PORRIDGE'S shoulder.

DOCTOR: This sounds like an actual marriage proposal - tricky. Now, if you want my advice...

CLARA: You - not one word. This is between me and the... Emperor. Porridge, I...don't want to rule 1,000 galaxies.

Behind PORRIDGE'S back, the DOCTOR gives her a thumbs-up and a nod.

PORRIDGE: Yeah. Silly of me.

CLARA: I'm really sorry.

ANGIE: But that's stupid. You could be queen of the universe. How can you say no to that? When someone asks you if you want to be queen of the universe, you say, "Yes." You watch. One day, I'LL be queen of the universe.

PORRIDGE smiles at ANGIE'S declaration.

PORRIDGE: (stands) Of course, I could have you all ex*cuted - which is what a proper Emperor would do.

DOCTOR: You're not actually going to do that, though, are you...?

PORRIDGE smiles and chuckles.

DOCTOR: (points at PORRIDGE) Oh, you're...! Hey?

PORRIDGE: Go on, get out of here, all of you, before I change my mind.

The DOCTOR heads for the TARDIS and the children follow. CLARA stands and salutes PORRIDGE before joining them. PORRIDGE sits on the second step of the dais.

INT. TARDIS

CLARA leans against the console as the children say good-bye to the DOCTOR.

ARTIE: (shakes the DOCTOR'S hand) Thank you for having me. It was very interesting.

DOCTOR: My pleasure. Thank you for coming. (to ANGIE) Now, I've got something for you. (runs around the console) It's not from me, it's from the TARDIS. Ah! New phone. (gives ANGIE a mobile)

ANGIE: Thanks!

DOCTOR: You're welcome.

ANGIE: Sorry I said this box was stupid. (shakes the DOCTOR'S hand before heading for the door)

DOCTOR: Bye! (waves)

ANGIE: Bye!

ARTIE: Thanks, Clara. Thanks, Clara's boyfriend.

The children wave good-bye and exit the TARDIS. CLARA walks over to stand beside the DOCTOR.

CLARA: Thank you, Doctor.

DOCTOR: For what?

CLARA: Kids' day out, getting us off the planet alive, whatever you were doing with the Cybermen...

The DOCTOR nods.

CLARA: Good night. (walks to the door) See you next Wednesday.

DOCTOR: Well... a Wednesday, definitely. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday... (CLARA leaves) one of the Wednesdays. Impossible girl. A mystery wrapped in an enigma squeezed into a skirt that's just a little bit too... tight.

The DOCTOR gets a dreamy looks on his face. He shakes it off.

DOCTOR: What are you?

The DOCTOR turns around and set the TARDIS in motion.

INT. SHIP, STATE ROOM

PORRIDGE sits on his throne on the dais.

PORRIDGE: Signs of any Cybertech remaining?

TECH: No, Majesty.

PORRIDGE: (twiddles thumbs) You ever wanted to be Emperor, Gloria?

GLORIA: No, Majesty.

PORRIDGE: That's the right answer. Come on. Let's go home.

SPACE

The space ship leaves the area. They do not see the Cybermite floating nearby.
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