3x20 - It's a Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gossip Girl". Aired: September 2007 to December 2012.*
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3x20 - It's a Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World

Post by bunniefuu »

Gossip girl here-your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

I raided Lily's medicine cabinet.

She sometimes gets headaches.

That's a hell of a headache.

I think we need a second opinion.

Even if you do go with another doctor, - I'm gonna stick around.

Aren't you Blair Waldorf? We haven't read about you on "Gossip Girl" in forever.

You read "Gossip Girl"? Of course.

Everyone at Columbia does.

I called your cell to explain everything.

I even left a message with Jenny.

She's lying.

I never talked to her.

Just get out.

There's only one spot for transfer students, and I didn't get it.

It was me.

I got the spot.

Why weren't you honest with me? What, like you were honest with me, going behind my back to apply for the one thing I wanted more than anything? The reason I couldn't talk to you earlier it's not about my dad.

It was about my mom.

She's sick, and I don't know what's gonna happen.

It's not working exactly as I'd hoped.

I need you to write Lily another prescription.

I doubt the authorities would be pleased to know what you've been doing.

Subbed by RDV It's said that we're all strapped to fortune's wheel Nowhere is this truer than the ever-changing landscape of love.

As one couple enjoys an upswing another is plunged downwards.

But top or bottom, don't get too comfortable, because the one thing you can rely on is that the wheel will keep on turning.

All right, I'm heading to my mom's for breakfast.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're coming in late and leaving early all week.

I'm starting to feel cheap.

Oh, I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately.

Just with everything going so well with my dad Hey, Serena, no worries.

Okay? - Mm.

Look, I love being your crash pad, but, you know, maybe you'd feel better if you moved back in - with your mom while she's getting her treatment.

And have to see Jenny's lying face first thing in the morning? No, thank you.

That is not the same girl Chuck came home with last night.

Has he, uh, come to talk to Lily yet? Do you want me to talk to him? No, I already tried, but thank you.

I'm gonna come to your lacrosse game after brunch.

Judge away.

Shame turns me on.

Hey, man, she's going to Lily's for brunch.

Maybe a stack of waffles will help your hangover? I find the cause is the best cure.

I gotta go.

So I will see you later at the library, and I'm sorry about before with the Tisch catalog.

It's fine.

Dan, I don't know how to do this.

We've been tiptoeing around each other for days.

Look, we're we're two artists in a relationship, and sometimes we're gonna be competing for the same things, so, all right, we're we're we're smart people.

Let's come up with some rules, a list of topics that are off-limits.

Isn't that what got us in trouble with Tisch? No, no.

This will be different, because we'll know what we don't know.

Hey, listen to me.

I'm quoting Donald Rumsfeld.

Okay, until the sting of Tisch has worn off, I I don't think we should talk about classes.

Like, if if you're taking playwriting with Sam Shepard, it may hurt my heart, but if you take intro to mime, I need to know everything.

I want to be with you when you buy your leotard and your beret.

Playwriting competitions I think we can go out for the same ones, but we can't read each other's submissions.

And looking forward, I guess it's the same thing with internships and jobs.

So the only things we can talk about openly are are politics, "Jersey Shore" And where we want to eat which reminds me, I actually, um, I need to get ready.

I'm gonna be late for breakfast at my dad's.

Are you sure you don't want to come? No, I'm sorry.

I, uh, I have something.

Oh, oh, is it something related to our list? Actually, yeah.

Well, thank you for not sharing.

See? I can't believe how much easier that is.

Ooh! Another sext session with your new b.

f.

? Okay, I'd hardly call Elliot a boyfriend.

Between me spending all my time with my mom and him being in every club in school, we haven't even been on a first date.

Hey.

Still using cooking as therapy? - Yeah.

Ooh.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, look at all of this food.

It's obscene.

You okay? How are you feeling? - Can I get you something? Please, everyone, relax.

What I need is for the people who love me to treat me like they always do.

Has anybody heard from Chuck? Yeah, uh, he's he's sorry he couldn't make it.

Charles has the right idea.

If he were here, then I'd really worry.

Anyway, one thing I'll say about William's treatment Is that I have not lost my appetite.

I want waffles.

Music to my ears.

Dad.

What's he doing here? - I invited him.

Hmm.

Looks great, Lil.

Really great.

So I hope you'll all join me for this Doctors Without Borders gala tomorrow at Columbia.

I must admit, I feel a bit silly about the whole thing.

Clearly, Columbia's run out of alumni to honor, if the best they could come up with is me.

False humility-check.

I'll be there.

I hope you don't mind.

I invited Nate and Blair.

I really want them to get to know you.

Terrific.

I'd be honored.

Well, Rufus and I would love to come.

Uh, why don't you grab a plate? Help yourself.

What? He left when I was 2.

The man's a total stranger to me.

You have to at least give him a chance.

No, I don't.

Okay, everyone.

Let's sit down and enjoy this wonderful food.

Dad, here.

Sit here.

Rufus, scoot over, please.

Please.

Thank you.

Hey, Blair, what's up? I thought I'd come and watch your lacrosse game.

So if you could make sure that there's a seat for me in V.

I.

P.

, preferably next to an injured cute player, but not one on scholarship.

Since when do you care about lacrosse? - Since I desperately needed to get away from N.

Y.

U.

Everyone's planning their living arrangements for next year.

It's so depressing.

I thought your friends asked you to live with them.

In a postwar building on a street that's not even numbered.

It's lettered.

And its big selling point is that it's above a falafel stand.

All right, well, listen, hey, I gotta go.

There's no V.

I.

P.

area, but there's a nice set of bleachers.

Blair? You probably don't remember us, but we met you at your mom's fashion show.

Uh, yeah, of course.

Hair band girl.

I never forget a good accessory.

We're celebrating.

We just got the most amazing apartment ever.

You would totally approve prewar, doorman, and the best part Fauchon is supposedly opening up next door.

Can I ask you something? What do you think about falafel? Ew.

Isn't that the kind of food paralegals eat? I never thought I'd see Blair Waldorf on the upper West Side.

Unless oh, my God.

Are you transferring to Columbia? - I hope so.

N.

Y.

U.

is so beneath you.

I it's true! I'm a Columbia girl now.

As you should be.

Yay! You know, the last time I was invited to a ceremony in my honor, I had to slaughter a chicken.

Well, at least you've been honored.

I've I've never been honored, I did win a contest once at boarding school, and I think there was a plaque, - but I'm not sure that really counts.

What kind of contest? It was for drinking hot chocolate - at the winter fair.

I had a buddy that went to Exeter, and the stories he tells would make Keith Richards blush.

Yeah, well, um I wasn't really into the party scene.

I was there more for the academics.

It sounds like you've made some great choices, Serena.

I'm glad.

The bad ones have a way of following you.

You know, I've never heard that hot chocolate story.

Yeah, well, there are a lot of stories you haven't heard.

True, but I did hear this one.

My ex-boyfriend went to boarding school with Serena, and he tells a great one about her and this teacher one night - at a bed-and-breakfast - Jenny.

Although I'm sure they were just studying.

You know, like she says, she was all about the academics.

I have an announcement, everyone.

I've decided I'm moving back in.

That way, I can be here with you, mom.

And it'll just be really great to be back in my old room again.

Don't worry, Jenny.

We'll we'll find a place for you.

Well, that's great, because I'm moving in, too.

Downstairs.

I was waiting to tell you until the board approved my sublet tomorrow.

But I'm very excited.

All my family together under one roof again.

Better watch out, Humphreys.

They say love makes a family, but on the Upper East Side, everyone knows it's real estate.

Hey, dad, I'm sorry I'm running so late.

Can you save me a waffle? - Always.

I'll put one in the oven for you.

Uh, how's Lily? - She's great.

And you? How you holding up? I mean, it must be weird.

Lily's ex-husband is now her doctor.

It was at first.

But the fact is, - he's just her doctor now.

I'm her husband.

Uh, by the way, Vanessa can't make it.

Said she had to be somewhere.

Oh, right.

The, um, internship at CNN.

They called me as one of the references she listed.

Ah.

Yeah, I I wouldn't know.

She and I are keeping our creative lives separate right now.

Uh, you might wanna discuss this one, since it involves her going to Haiti for three months.

You know what, dad? - I think I'm gonna have to cancel that waffle.

Okay.

All right.

See you.

Hey.

Um I know this gala tomorrow night seems boring, but I thought, uh, if there's a girl you like, - perhaps you'd like to invite her.

Actually, I'm gay.

So if I was going, which I'm not, then my date would be a guy named Elliot.

That's cool.

Uh Bring Elliot.

I'd love to meet him Please stop acting like you and I have any kind of relationship.

You're right.

Um I have a lot to make up for.

I'm sorry.

The window for that closed somewhere between my 12th birthday and, um My su1c1de attempt.

Don't worry.

I'm fine now.

Going through all that without a father made me realize that I don't need one.

I understand that I've lost the right to be a father to you, but If there's any way that we can get to know each other on your terms Serena may want a relationship with you, but I don't.

Serena, stop it! You can't do that.

The room was on loan, and I'm taking it back.

And I don't care if I did leave it in the closet.

Borrowing without asking is stealing, Jenny.

Dad, tell her to stop! Uh, Serena, please.

I think it's great that you're moving back in, but this is Jenny's room now.

All her things are here.

You can stay in Chuck's old room.

No way.

That room is haunted by Chuck's depravity.

Jenny can take it.

I'm sure it wouldn't bother you.

Okay, what what's going on with you two? Nothing.

Fine.

Whatever.

Serena can have her old room back.

All right, that's ridiculous.

Serena, I'll have Laryssa make up Chuck's bed for you.

I'm confident that there's no depravity that brand-new E.

Braun sheets can't erase.

How many problems does Jenny have to cause before you realize she's the problem? Hey.

Hey.

Thanks for meeting me here.

The library started did you apply for a documentary internship in Haiti? Yeah.

The producer just called.

I I got the job.

When were you planning on telling me about this? This morning, and then you put internships on the "do not discuss" list, - and I panicked.

Why? Why? This is not about competing for something.

This is this is about our relationship.

But both of those have been so tied up in each other, and this job is a huge deal for me, Dan.

But you can't pretend like you going away for three months - is not gonna affect us.

I think I didn't wanna face that.

It was just so much easier when we were just friends - and we could talk about things.

All right, is is that what you want, then? You wanna go back to just friends? I don't know.

Anyway, uh, Serena might be a little upset.

Well, you were right.

She can stay in Charles' room.

It's getting crowded around here.

No kidding.

Throw in your ex-husband, and now we're a Nancy Meyers movie.

I hope you don't mind.

I know it's awkward.

Well, I mean, it is a little unusual, don't you think, for a doctor to move in to his patient's building? Well, not if he's the father of the patient's children.

What are you getting at? Is it possible that Will's also trying to get close to you? Absolutely not.

I'm the one that told William to stay away if he couldn't make good on the promises he made to the children.

And I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you.

But if William wants to move in to be closer to the kids, I'm not gonna stand in his way.

Mmm.

Holland? Hi, it's Rufus.

Um I have a favor to ask.

And the social scene at N.

Y.

U.

was criminal.

Ten freshmen, a keg and a tub of hummus on a card table isn't a party.

It's a tragedy.

Hmm.

Blair Waldorf just got a text.

It's like watching Lady Gaga set fire to a piano! Who's it from? Serena.

Apparently, Jenny Humphrey is claiming squatter's rights - on her old room.

It's disgusting.

Oh, my God.

Jenny can't do that to Serena Van Der Woodsen.

So what's the plan of att*ck? It's between Serena and Jenny.

Anyway, I've had some recent bad luck getting involved in real estate disputes.

So I was thinking Warren-Tricomi mani/pedis? I told you.

It doesn't matter if she transfers.

Blair Waldorf was over the minute she became a student at N.

Y.

U.

Are you third personing me? I third person people, not you! Exactly.

You're Blair Waldorf fashion icon, queen B.

And probably the future president of the United States.

Or Chanel.

Jenny Humphrey just kicked Serena Van Der Woodsen out of her room, and you're not gonna do anything? I would.

I just don't have any dirt on Jenny right now.

Ahem.

I do.

Jenny and her boyfriend sold my boyfriend Adderall a couple of months ago.

Lose the judge-face, Zoe.

He took a very heavy course load this semester.

Jenny Humphrey, drug dealer.

I can work with that.

We hear Blair Waldorf's headed for a comeback.

But if she wants to keep her fans happy - Send.

She better keep serving up the hits.

Sleep well? - Don't even, Serena.

I can't believe you posted on "Gossip Girl" - that I'm a drug dealer.

I didn't post anything.

Fine.

Maybe you didn't send the actual e-mail, - but everyone knows you have Blair do your dirty work.

I can't help what Blair does.

And you are the one who played Pablo Escobar - to underage preppy pill poppers.

My dad and I were finally in a good place after a really, really bad patch.

And if he finds this out, it'll destroy everything.

Well, maybe Rufus should know that his daughter is dealing dr*gs.

After all, you thought my father should know all my adventures at boarding school.

Fine.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but maybe you shouldn't be lying to your dad.

Are you really lecturing me about lying to a parent? - My dad knows who I am, but you're building a relationship with yours that's a complete lie.

I can't believe that you are willing to destroy my relationship with my father because you're too scared that yours won't love you for who you really are.

You were right.

We need to make these decisions together.

But the truth is, consulting with someone else - doesn't come easily to me.

I get it.

Vanessa, I totally support you going.

Thank you, but I'm not taking the internship.

I'd rather lose the job than lose you.

You're not gonna lose me if you go to Haiti.

We're we're we're gonna find a way to make this work.

All right? But you gotta go.

I don't want to, and we both know it's better for our relationship if I stayed.

I mean, three months is too long, and I just wanna be with you.

Are you sure? You're you're making this decision for you? Not me? Not not not even us? Uh okay.

Let's find a way to celebrate tonight, then a fun way.

We could, uh let's see.

You want to sneak 40s into the midnight showing of "The lost weekend" - at film forum? Yeah.

Actually, I'm supposed to have drinks with the woman from CNN, and I owe it to her - to tell her my decision face to face.

Okay.

All right.

Well, uh, tomorrow night, then.

Absolutely.
Blair.

Hey.

You never made it to my lacrosse game yesterday.

What are you doing? I could ask you the same question.

Does Serena know you're trying to pull off plaid? - Seriously, Blair, I expected Chuck to go back to his old habits after your breakup, - but I'd actually thought you'd grown up a little.

Whatever do you mean? Blair Waldorf on the upper West Side two days in a row? It pretty much looks like you're pretending to be a Columbia student, and not that I care much about what Jenny Humphrey does these days, - but I saw that smackdown on "Gossip Girl.

" - She was dealing dr*gs.

It's called an intervention.

It's called you going back to plotting and conniving, okay, and that's the Waldorf equivalent of Chuck going around, sleeping with every call girl in the city and avoiding any kind of emotional contact.

Okay.

So I'm pretending to be a student here.

But it's only because I'm living a nightmare.

I'm trapped at N.

Y.

U.

, and and it's too late to transfer.

So what's wrong with cheering myself up with a little denial and a "Gossip Girl" blast or two? Nothing, I guess, but you can always make it right with whoever you take down online.

And who knows if Chuck's even gonna have time to do that with Lily or not? Morning, sunshine.

I've got the Dom '95, your favorite.

No, thank you.

And I much prefer Roederer nowadays.

Oh, I apologize.

Nadine left behind some of her intimates.

She must have wanted an excuse to come back.

Or maybe she just left in a hurry.

If you're here to mock me, I'm not in the mood Unless you have some punishment in mind.

We've broken up, Chuck, and frankly, I don't care what you do.

But I can't sit by and just watch you avoid Lily.

I'm actually quite busy with work.

Well, you had time for Nadine.

Trust me, she was work.

And I promise you, Lily is not sitting around, wondering when she's going to hear from Chuck Bass.

Justify not seeing Lily all you want.

You and I both know what this is.

You've lost Bart, Elizabeth betrayed you, and the thought of losing Lily terrifies you.

Please.

Spare me your N.

Y.

U.

freshman psych analysis.

Perhaps if you were at an Ivy, you'd have better insight.

Spotted B.

Claiming to be a co-ed at Columbia, when everyone knows she's a zero at N.

Y.

U.

Poor B.

First she lost Chuck and now her dignity.

"Gossip Girl" blast? - No, it's nothing.

Look, Chuck, sleep with every Nadine in town for all I care, but don't close your heart to Lily.

You and I both know that in the end, the person you'll end up hurting the most is you.

Amalia, it's Blair.

Are you still waiting on me to sign the lease? Well, tell the girls it's a yes.

I'll take the apartment.

You make your bed, you lie in it, B.

Too bad yours is in the east village.

Hey.

Were you able to convince your brother to come tonight? - No.

And please don't act like you care.

I'm sorry? - I just got off the phone with my dad.

Apparently, someone didn't want him living in the building, so they gave him a bad recommendation, and it worked.

The board didn't approve him.

You're behind this, right? I am.

How could you do that? - I don't expect you to understand, Serena, but I felt like it was the right thing to do.

Look, I know you and my father used to hate each other, but that was a long time ago.

You are the only one - still having this fight.

He has moved on.

Is everything okay? Rufus went to the board and blocked dad from getting the apartment.

Serena, that's absurd.

Rufus would never do something like that.

I would, to protect my marriage.

I don't trust William's intention, and I don't want him living under my roof.

Rufus, you're being completely paranoid.

At first he tried he tried to isolate you from your family, and now he's moving into the building to get closer to you.

I told you, he's moving in to be close to the children.

All I see here is jealousy run amok.

Mom, come on.

We should go.

Lil Rufus, it's probably best if you don't come tonight.

What are you two doing here? - This is an alumni event.

Columbia puts aside a bunch of tickets for students.

We'd invite you to join, but they were very explicit no fake students allowed.

Hey, doctor.

If you'll excuse me a moment, I should go say hello to a few old colleagues.

I'll be right back.

Don't rush.

Do I want to know what you had to promise him - to get him to come? - No, it wasn't me.

It's not like he even listens to me, and he probably just ran out of girls to have sex with.

I, uh, want to apologize.

My absence has been inexcusable.

Well, I know my situation brings up a lot of issues for you.

You've had to deal with so much loss.

But I'm not gonna lose you.

I'm here for you, every step of the way.

You, uh, you look good, Lily.

In fact, you look better than good.

You look great.

Thank you.

I feel great.

So you had better be prepared for a lifetime of family brunches, because I'm not going anywhere.

Okay.

Oh.

Hey.

I bailed on the Columbia gala.

I was kind of in the mood for watching a pretentious movie I don't understand - with you and Vanessa.

No Vanessa, but pretentious movie? Check.

Look, not that I'm not thrilled to expose you to the joys of Russian cinema, but does this visit of yours have anything to do with the "Gossip Girl" blast? Is it true? Are you dealing? I was, when I was dating Damien, yeah.

But, no, not anymore.

This could so easily get back to dad.

I I think it'd be better if he heard it from you.

Are you insane? I I mean, you and I both know that's a su1c1de mission.

Look If you want him to have faith in you, Jenny, maybe you need to have a little faith in him.

Yeah, all right.

I'll go see if I can dig out a dress from my old closet.

Maybe I can catch him at the gala you know, big crowd, lots of witnesses.

Oh.

Uh, is everything okay with you and Vanessa? Yeah.

Yeah, well, at least I think it is.

It's been hard to say lately.

Maybe you need to have a little faith, too.

It's great to see you again.

You, too.

What a pleasure.

Good to see you.

Good to see you, Bob.

Dad, um, do you have a second? I want to talk to you about something.

Sure.

Please sit.

You know, the contest that I won at boarding school It was for drinking absinthe, and that was probably one of my my tamer nights.

The truth is I I've had a pretty wild past, and I've been a part of more than one scandal.

Serena, I don't care about any of that.

I know.

I guess I was just Scared that once mom gets better, you you may not wanna stick around if you knew the real me.

Honey, I want nothing more than to be a part of all of your lives again.

I'm trying to figure out how big a role I can play without stepping on anybody's toes.

Yeah.

You know, I love Rufus but you're my dad.

He's not.

Aw, Serena finally has the perfect relationship with her daddy.

But will her dream come true be Rufus' worst nightmare? Oh, of course.

The theme of this evening seems to be t*rture.

You're not a fan of, uh, university galas? Quite the opposite.

I'm in my natural habitat.

It's t*rture because it's at Columbia.

And by some cruel twist of fate, I go to N.

Y.

U.

It's like being locked out of Lanvin on the day they get fall in.

Sorry, I don't mean to ramble on.

I'm Blair Waldorf.

Wait.

I know that name.

You read "Gossip Girl"? - No, I read college applications.

I work in the admissions office at Columbia.

I was just looking at your application today.

I'm sorry? Look, it's, um, it's not our policy to do this, but e-mails go out tomorrow, and you're standing right here, so welcome to Columbia, Blair Waldorf.

Champagne, please.

Whoa.

Are you okay? You got crazy eyes.

I think I just became a Columbia student for real.

It doesn't make any sense.

I I never applied.

Oh, my God.

I cannot believe he actually did it.

Months ago, Chuck joked about applying for you.

He said you had too much pride to admit N.

Y.

U.

was a mistake.

Looks like he actually did something right for once.

Congratulations.

Oh, thanks.

You're not at the gala? Yeah.

I thought it'd be best for everybody if I didn't go.

I see my father is still working his magic.

It's not all him.

Yes, it is.

It's just that no one else sees it.

You make my mom happier than all of her ex-husbands combined.

It should be you with her tonight, not some guy who pulled a disappearing act.

Well, I am already in the tux.

Elliot, what are you doing here? Your father invited me? He said he didn't think you had plans tonight.

Not me.

I hope that's okay.

It's okay to be mad at him, Eric, but it's okay to let him try to make it right, too.

All right.

I'm heading out.

Wish me luck.

You don't need it.

You're the only one for her.

After Dr.

Van Der Woodsen organized the response to the polio outbreak in India, he moved on to Somalia, where he served as a field coordinator in Huddur.

While there, he oversaw everything from shrapnel wounds to cancer to chronic illness.

Rufus.

I'm surprised to see you here, of all places.

Holland, if you'll excuse me.

I'll catch up with you later.

I need to talk to Lily.

Rufus, what are you doing here? I'm sorry about today.

I don't want will to come between us.

I don't give a damn who lives where.

I just want to be with you.

Improving access to primary health care to remote villages.

He has done all of this while continuing to build his reputation as a leader in the progressive treatments of cancer.

Lily looks amazing, doesn't she? I mean, being sick hasn't slowed her down at all.

Yeah, she is the picture of health.

Invaluable member of our team.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dr.

William Van Der Woodsen.

Thank you.

Thank you, Dean.

Thank you.

I had another speech prepared for you this evening, but then my beautiful daughter Serena came to me, and she was so honest and brave, that it made me realize that, uh, I need to be honest, too.

I made many personal sacrifices to be a doctor, but I never quite realized until now that The greatest sacrifice of all was my family.

So the most important thing that I can say here tonight is not to all of you, but, uh, to them.

I made the biggest mistake of my life walking out on you, and I promise to do everything in my power to make it up to you, to make it right again, because I love you.

My, oh, my.

Did Dr.

Van Der Woodsen just make a public pass at Rufus' wife? Looks like this doctor without borders needs a few boundaries.

Well, I guess you were right about William, but it doesn't matter how he feels about me, because I don't love him.

I love you, Rufus.

I know you're comfortable with him, Lil, but I'm not.

I need you to find another doctor.

Look, I understand why you don't trust him, but surely, you trust me.

Look, I don't want to fight with you, Rufus.

Okay, we'll put it aside till tomorrow.

Let's get you home.

You know what? Right now, more than anything, I just need a quiet night, alone.

Lily.

Please, just for tonight, I need you to sleep at the loft.

Lily.

Jenny Humphrey.

Uh, yeah? You bitch.

You told me you were selling me oxy, but those pills were antibiotics.

Yeah, I didn't get high.

I got a yeast infection.

Dad.

Look, I can explain.

I came here to tell you.

Jenny, please save your breath.

Like I'm gonna believe a word out of your mouth.

Get your things and come with me.

We're going home to Brooklyn.

What did you want to talk about that couldn't wait? The producer from CNN just flew into town, - and I'm gonna meet her for drinks in 20 minutes.

I want you to take the internship.

Come on, Dan.

I don't want us to be making decisions based on fear.

All right? So whatever happens, we'll figure it out.

Thank you.

I, uh Got you some stationery so we can write some handwritten letters to each other - while you're away.

That is so romantic.

Maybe if we become famous writers one day, they'll publish 'em after we die, - like Sartre and De Beauvoir.

Maybe, but don't let that stop you from writing some of the dirty stuff.

Just a little bit.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Not, uh, not if you don't go.

You're gonna be late.

You don't want to be late to meet your new boss.

Get out of here.

Thank you.

Oh, hey, Holland.

Hey.

Have you seen your mother? - No.

I think she left.

Oh.

Is everything okay? If Dr.

Van Der Woodsen loves your mother as much as he said he did in that speech, then maybe there's something she should know about Rufus.

Listen carefully, S.

Holland has a tale to tell.

Apparently, her upstairs neighbor has been coming downstairs.

Good night.

Good night.

Take care.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Bye.

Dad! - Serena, I thought you left.

Um Is everything okay? Not really, no.

I heard what you said in your speech, and if you want to fight for mom, then you should do it.

Ahem.

Hi.

I think you girls got some misinformation.

I will be attending Columbia in the fall.

Oh.

Well, that's awesome.

We have an extra room in the apartment.

Maybe you wanna move in with us? - No.

I don't live with the help.

Oh, and you wanted to see a Blair Waldorf takedown? Well, cross me again, and you'll experience one firsthand.

Hello? - Hey, it's Jenny.

I want to talk to you about Lily.

Obviously, I'm not a doctor, and it's kind of a long story how I know this, but there's something weird about her medicine.

Elliot's the perfect mix of smart and fun.

He speaks three languages, but he has a subscription to "People" magazine.

Hey.

I invited dad over for some hot chocolate.

I I hope that's okay.

If it's a bad idea, I can No, it's okay.

William, join us.

Hey, Rufus.

It's Serena.

Hi.

Is your mom there? Um Yeah, she she's here.

She's just really tired right now.

I'll let her know you called.

They say that family are the people who will always take you in.

But what if instead, they shut the door? I was just telling mom about my date with Elliot.

We had a great time.

Thank you.

Oh, who was that? - Oh, it was just Blair.

Or even worse, let someone else take your place? What do you say, Serena? Who's your daddy? X.

O.

X.

O.

, Gossip Girl.
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