5x05 - Nick

US Seasons 1-7 and UK Original Version Complete Collection. Aired: February 2007 to August 2013.*
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The story of a group of British teens who are trying to grow up and find love and happiness despite questionable parenting and teachers who more want to be friends (and lovers) rather than authority figures.
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5x05 - Nick

Post by bunniefuu »

You're beautiful.

No, I'm not. I'm a no good sh*t magnet.

Get f*cked, burn it to the ground, dance on the embers then get on your coach.

Are we still friends?

I was hoping more than that.

Liv, whatever he's told you, don't believe him, he's a psycho.

Stay away from her.

Stay away from her. Why do you care?

They're brothers.

I hope you die puking on your kidneys.

Bitch.

I need to come back. Please talk to Dad for me.

SHOUTING WHISTLE BLOWS Epic move, boys.

Rider, that switch, genius.

You too, skip. That's what it's about... movement, commitment - we'll k*ll these bastards with that sh*t.

Nice work, boys. Nice work. Nick, spot-on, ja.

Now, get cleaned up. Last one in the showers is a h*m*!

I'm a man who fought for my beliefs, ja?

Fought for my people.

Fought for the brotherhood of a nation, the rainbow nation.

And through togetherness and respect for each other, we defeated the greatest injustice in the world - apartheid.

Er, what is apartheid?

ALL MOCK The fact is success in life is only as important as the people you share it with, hm?

This is your family, this team.

And if you can stand up for each other out on that pitch, you can do anything. Nick...

This Friday, there are gonna be 30 men on that pitch.

15 of them are gonna be winners.

15 of them are gonna be b*tches. Which d'you want to be?

ALL: Winners! Damn right.

Cos this is a team of winners.

We're not gonna allow ourselves to fail, cos failure's a giant bitch with sharp claws.

We're gonna g*ng-r*pe failure.

Aye aye, coach. But you get the point.

We're gonna smash it - right, boys?

ALL: f*ck, yes!

f*ck, yes, indeed.

You're crying, Warren.

She left you because you're a crying man. Nobody loves a crying man.

Feel that pain in your chest, Warren.

It's not stress. It's not cholesterol either.

It's breasts... budding where your pecs should be.

Instead of man-armour, you're growing tits, Warren. Tits!

It's no wonder she's f*cking around.

Now, put down the pills, grow a pair and stand up for yourself.

su1c1de is for quitters, Warren.

Listen to your life coach. Peace out.

What's this?

It's a set of rules. A contract.

It's...

...comprehensive.

I'm not taking any chances this time.

"No girls in the bedroom.

"I shall not use my father's sporting equipment"...?

Yeah, that last one especially. Not having you go batshit on us again.

Right, Nick? Right.

"I will complete my education."

I was thinking of getting a job, actually - something that lets me do my music.

Drug music. Where's the money in that?

There isn't. That's why I need a job.

You'll finish your education, that's what you'll do. Don't I get a choice?

Oh, yes, Matthew, you've got a choice.

You can stay here, obey my rules and behave.

Or you can f*ck off!

How does that sound?

It sounds good to me!

The Levan boys, back together!

Cheers, guys.

See that, Matty?

That's "can do" attitude.

Yeah?

Now, you follow those rules, do as I say, you could be just like Nick.

Well, we all need a role model, right?Was that sarcasm?

Dad, chillax.

Look at his face - it's super sincere.

It better be.

Sign it.

Nick, witness.

Good.

Right, I've got to go.

Warren's threatening to overdose again, and I need to take him for a game of golf, try out my new driver.

Callaway.

Big Bertha. Hollow head.

Tasty.

Thwack!

In the hole!

MIMICS CROWD ROAR I've got a meeting with your principal this morning.

Don't be late. Nick, a word.

Listen, if he starts any of his mind games...

Yeah, phase that sh*t right out.
...just remember you're better than him.

Laters. Yeah.

KNOCKING Got a minute?

Course.

Man, I'm so psyched for this game on Friday. It's gonna be epic. You coming?

Yeah. Course. Will Dad be there?

Yeah.

I mean, I hope so, but he's really busy, so... yeah.

Listen, mate, I just wanted you to know something.

You're my big brother.

We've had beefs, yeah, but... f*ck that sh*t.

You said sorry.That was all I needed.

We move on. Agreed?

Cool.

You know it. Gonna be smooth as.

What about Liv?

What about her?

Well, don't we have to talk about...? We don't have to do anything.

Me and her, it was... a thing, a bit of fun.

Nothing else.

Yeah, she was into me, but I was just dealing with sh*t.

Really? Totally.

Seriously, you have nothing to worry about.

I wasn't worrying about me. Good.

Are you into her? Dunno. Might be.

So you're fine with it, then?

Super fine!

Me and Mini are better than ever.

Deep sh*t.

Cool.

DOORBELL RINGS That'll be her now.

Matty, the rules!

Yeah, I know, but I didn't know them when she called.

Yeah, but still... Listen, Nick...

...you trust me, right?

Fine. I get it.

Compromise. Give. Take.

You're a star.

MUSIC PLAYS LIV GROANS BANGING LIV GROANS LOUDLY LIV AND MATTY MOAN Mini, it's me.

I need to see you.

Hi.

Your mum let me in.

Prepare to be spoiled.

Flowers, chocolates, oils.

They're beautiful.

Of course, I can't eat the chocolates, but Mum...

Oils?

Massage oils. You're in for some Nick nuzzling.

How's that? Good, yeah?

Great.

You know it.

That's... That's really...

God, Nick! Nick!

What?

What? You're... you're jabbing into me with... it.

Yeah, he's feeling left out.

Argh, not... not there!

Argh, not... not there! sh*t. Sorry.

Do you want to go on top?

Quickly.

I'm trying.

It won't...

And if we get to the final, there'll be scouts and sh*t, and that means one thing.

Really? What sort of scouts?

Pros. The big time, baby!

I could be your WAG.

There's Matty. Come on.

What happened to you?

Went to meet my favourite girl... Mini.

Hi, Liv.

Isn't this great? Two brothers, two best mates.

The awesome foursome in the perfect storm.

Didn't everyone die in The Perfect Storm?

Didn't everyone die in The Perfect Storm? Details, mate. The point is, we're wet... and... dangerous.

There's my boys. Check this out.

Go on, mate.

Spank that ball, baby. Spank that ball.

Jizz ball, you big gay!

Later, h*m*.

Love those guys.

Here comes the old man.

Boys.

Laters, girls.

Don't.

What?

Whatever it is. Just don't.

Well, it's a most irregular situation. We're well into term.

Matthew's record is hardly unblemished.

In fact, it is positively flecked with failure, disobedience and misdemeanour.

He was misunderstood, sir.

A history of drug abuse and v*olence.

We dropped those charges. That Matty's in the past.

He's moved on, sir.

Right.

Mr Blood.

When I first agreed to send Nick here, despite offers from several other, and frankly better, alternatives, you promised certain privileges.

Of course, some of those offers are still... on the table.

I see.

And what of Mrs Levan?

Is she as committed to this new direction?

Mrs Levan isn't committed to anything.

Her family in particular, as well you know.

Professor Blood, you brought me here to win games. I'm winning games.

As I said he would.

Straight up.

He won't step out of line, out of respect for me.

Right, Matthew?

100%.

Very well. He may re-enrol.

On probation.

Thank you, sir. That is absolutely wicked.

What a bell-end. Who does he think he is? Giving it the big I am.

He's just a jumped up babysitter with an office. Prick!

Right. I've got to go.

Places to be. Clients to save.

Just you remember, every move you make, every step you take...

...I'll be watching you.

Isn't that The Police?

Isn't that The Police? It will be, my boy, if you f*ck up.

OK.

It will be.

Right-o.

High five, Mattattack, you're in!

f*ck me, dude. I don't know how you put up with this sh*t.

What do you mean, "put up"?

I've got it all right here.

It's all right here in the Nickosaur's mighty palm of destiny.

If you say so.

If you say so. Of course I do. Come on.

Hop in, we'll go meet the g*ng.

The rugby guys?

No! My guys. The g*ng! You'll love them, come on!

Shithead.

Bollocks!

Officer on deck. How's the wriggle team?

Oh, thank God. My hero boyfriend is here to save the day.

Listen, guys.This is Matty.

I know you met him before, but that was all, well, drama-rama, so...

It's you.

Hi.

You two know each other?

We met once.

So you were homeless?

More on the move.

It must have been really hard.

Nah. After the first few blowjobs, you get used to the taste, then it's pretty lucrative, really.

That's not true.

Isn't this wicked?

The Bloods and the Cripples together at last. You get me?

What's he talking about?

Nick's suggesting that we're a bunch of cripples and that he and Mini are similar to a black, violent, LA street g*ng.

Anyway, I've gotta run, so...

Are you coming to this thing later?

What thing?I didn't know about a thing.

Meet properly.

Nah, big game tomorrow, so...

Best run.

LAUGHING

Officer on deck!

Everyone brought their A game?

A game's the only one I've got.

Glad to hear it, champ!

What's with Liv, man?

What's with Liv, man? What about her?

That f*cking scrawny little turd-corn she was with.

I thought she was into real men.

She was never into you, Rides.

He was like a sort of weird little miniature gay.

Surprised the little pecker hasn't drowned in my sloppy seconds.

Surprised the little pecker hasn't drowned in my sloppy seconds. Rider, shut the f*ck up, yeah?

Hey, what? You into her or something?

He's my brother.

Your brother?

(LAUGHING) Him? He's your brother?

What did they do? Raise the afterbirth and give it a name?

Rider, that's enough, mate.

All right, skip. Calm down.

f*ck it. He can have the manky bitch.

Reckon I wore her out last time.

Once old Ride's had his way, they're ruined.

Rider, one more word and I'll smack you!

What the f*ck, man? She's not your bird.

What the f*ck are you all doing?

We're supposed to be training, yeah?

So, a low contact run.

No big hits, ja?

Work though your moves and give it up if you're caught, right?

Right?

Play!

Benny's ball!

WHISTLE BLOWS Jesus Christ, Levan. What the f*ck was that?

Got carried away.

Too f*cking right you did!

WHISTLE BLOWS LOW MUSIC IN BACKGROUND So... you gonna tell me what the matter is, then, eh?

I'm just nervous about the game, coach.

Don't tug me, boy.

You can say what you like, but muscles never lie.

Argh!

I can read a body like a book, boy, and this is a depressing book about an anxious young man.

Argh! f*ck!

Just as I thought.

An anxious young man who's worrying about a girl.

You know what I think about those types of books?

No, sir.

They're no good to me before a big game.

You know...

I've got a brother.

Back in Jo'burg.

I didn't speak to him for ten years.

OK...

OK... Just shut up and listen, ja?

He was a bastard, right?

Angry, bigoted young man.

I hated his guts, but I...

I don't have a problem with Matty, coach.

Yes, you do.

I can feel it.

Argh!

VOICES CAN NOT BE HEARD sh*t!

Nothing. I'm not doing anything.

OK. Why are you hanging around outside?

I was about to call you, to see where you are, if you were coming.

But you're here now, so... ace.

Grace called me.

Nice one. Come on, then.

Feel the love, guys.

Hey, man.

Hey, man.

Hi.

What's the chat?

We're planning how to find Alo a girlfriend.

Wicked. What's the brief?

The brief?

Yeah. What are you after?

Short-term lover, desperate f*ck, the love of your life?

You've got to set your aim on your prey, know their weaknesses, then... dah, hunt them down.

He's not picky.

I am!

A bit.

Well, not really.

Why not? here, so why not hook up? Needs must, right?

Then we'd all be couples. We could swing and sh*t.

Then we'd all be couples. We could swing and sh*t. Ew!

I'm going to go to the bar.

I'll give her a hand.

You've got a full pint.

Not any more.

So you and Matty, hey? How's it going?

Nick, let's not do this.

Do what?

You know what.

I'm just, you know, checking everything's all right.

That he's, you know...

What?

He smashed up our entire house.

He goes crazy and I don't want that to happen again.

Not to you.

Oh, yeah. Good one.

I see, you're worried I might get hurt. That's it.

No...

No... Nick, what is this? Have you got a problem I don't have a problem. I just... I just wonder what it means for us?

Us? Nick, there is no us. There never was.

Come on, we had good times.

We f*cked... twice. And I wasn't even f*cking you. I was f*cking Mini.

I don't know what that means.

No, of course you don't.

Nick, she knows about us and she's still with you.

Don't you think that's f*cked up?

We're fine. Better than ever.

If that's what you think, then you two deserve each other.

12 sambucas, please, chap.

What the f*ck are you doing?

What am I doing? This is me, is it, my fault?

This isn't cool.

(RIDER) I'm having a good time.

(RIDER) I'm having a good time. You're out of order.

Why? Cos I danced with your best mate?

Bruv, leave it.

Bruv, leave it. Matty, stay out of this. before she gets horny again and fucks a passer...

I think you broke my nose!

Mini!

Don't suddenly act like you care.

I do.

If you cared, why did you f*ck my best friend?!

Mins...

Mins... f*ck you! f*ck you, Nick.

Nick...

sh*t!

sh*t.

♪ Sorrow found me when I was young... ♪

Won't your friends be missing you?

♪ Sorrow's my body on the waves
♪ Sorrow's a girl inside my cake
♪ It's in my honey, it's in my milk
♪ Don't leave my hyper heart alone
♪ On the water
♪ Cover me in rag and bone
♪ Sympathy Cos I don't wanna... ♪

Everything's so f*cking easy for you, isn't it?!

I've worked my arse off, done everything I'm supposed to, like nothing happened and f*ck up my life again!

I'm not the one f*cking you up, Nick.

Where the f*ck have you been?

Out.

Dad, it's 2am. Where are you going?

Warren's k*lled himself.

I gave that bastard more time, care and attention than any fucker in his life, and they want to question me?

Give me sh*t?

All I try and do is help and I get blamed when things go wrong.

Blame culture. That's what's wrong with this country.

Dad, I need to talk to you...

The state of you.

What the f*ck are you playing at?

I've had a bad night.

You had a bad night because you chose to have one!

Or is that my fault too?

Dad, I need...

f*ck's sake, Nick!

Grow up.

DOOR CLOSES Aaaaargh!

Aaaargh!

Nick!

Go.

Go!

Liv!

Liv!

Aaargh!

(COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS)

Nick! What the f*ck?!

I need to speak to you.

No, you need to go.

No! Please, Liv.

You're the only one that understands me.

I need you, Liv.

No, you don't, Nick. I don't know what you need, but it's not me.

Go home, Nick.

Are you all right?

You look... f*cked.

f*cked, I mean. Not all right.

What's your name?

It's Matty.

Who are those children?

They're my kids.

How old are you, Matty?

Old enough.

Can we have some more?

Not now.

I want to feel something, Matty.

What are you doing here?

I live round the corner.

No, I'm good.

You look like sh*t, you know.

Yeah.

I think I managed to f*ck just about everything up.

You know that I'm...

...that people think I'm... a d*ck?

Sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't and I do 'em anyway, cos...

f*ck.Why do I do them?

You're not a complete d*ck.

Thanks.

So, what are you gonna do now, then?

Well, I'll leave you to it.

HUBBUB THEY FALL SILENT

(WHISTLES) You're late, Levan.

I'm not playing.

I can see that.

Ever.

I'm done, that's it.

I need to sort some sh*t out, cos if I don't, I'll go crazy and I'll end up f*cked up and alone, and I can't be like that.

And... and rugby... rugby... isn't helping, and actually, I hate it. and Rider.

I f*cking hate Rider.

And I hate...

I hate too much at the moment, coach, and I need to...

I need to stop.

But I don't hate you, coach, so I wanted to you know...

Well, if that's the way you feel.

So... what are you going to do about it?

I'm leaving.

I'm gonna find my brother, and we're gonna leave. I can't...

We can't be with my dad any more, coach.

You're gonna run away. That it?

I'm not running away.

Yes, you are!

It's all very well seeing an injustice, Nick.

That's the easy part. What you do next is the hard part. It defines a man.

I can't be happy in that house, coach!

You want to be happy? That it, ja?

You know who this is?

Yeah, course, but...

He's a happy man, ja? Respected.

Everybody loves Madiba.

He's fair and peaceful and friendly.

But when he was your age, he was a right angry fucker.

Furious, ja. He blew things up.

Fought and fought and fought against the sh*t he came up against.

He never ran away.

They had to lock the bastard away to try to stop him, and even then he fought.

(NICK) I don't know what you're saying.

I'm saying I thought you were stronger than someone who runs, Nick.

Stand up for yourself.

I am.

No, you're not. Just saying...

You're a coward, ja.

f*ck you, coach.

f*cking bottler.

Luck, boys.See you around.

Where are you going? Put your bag down.

You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him.

You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him. Shut up.

What?

I did it.

Don't believe you.

I don't care what you believe.

I see.

You're standing up for yourself.

Is that it?

He's got to you. I know you, Nick, and you wouldn't have done sh*t if it wasn't for him.No!

I wouldn't have done sh*t if it wasn't for you.

None of this would have happened if you'd just...

f*ck!

Stop being a c**t.

So, what, you... you're ganging up on me now, are you?

Yeah.

Yes, we are.

Contract.

♪ MAdM: This Would Be Paradise Man is now able to fly through the air like a bird.
He's able to swim beneath the sea like a fish.

He's able to burrow beneath the ground like a mole.

Now, if only he could walk the earth like a man, this would be paradise.

...Ooooh!

We've decided you're leaving college.

This is just victimisation.

Reason for leaving? I'll just put simpleton.

You've gotta stickit to the man, bruv.

Mum...! Mum...!

Come on then, Dad, let's have it, shall we?

Let's get naked, go out there and show those old fuckers who's boss!

Man is now able to fly through the air like a bird.

He's able to swim beneath the sea like a fish.

He's able to burrow beneath the ground like a mole.

Now, if only he could walk the earth like a man, this would be paradise.

Now, if only he could walk the earth like a man...
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