6x05 - Mini

US Seasons 1-7 and UK Original Version Complete Collection. Aired: February 2007 to August 2013.*
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The story of a group of British teens who are trying to grow up and find love and happiness despite questionable parenting and teachers who more want to be friends (and lovers) rather than authority figures.
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6x05 - Mini

Post by bunniefuu »

You're awake and it's time this ship set sail.

What?

Nothing.

You don't need to avoid me.

Why would I be avoiding you?

Because you don't want to talk about her.

That's not it.

Get off me! Put me down!

Mates, then?

Whoa! Hang on.

If you tell a soul, I'll f*cking k*ll you, all right?

Oh, f*ck!

Oh, f*ck!

Mini, I love you.

Oh, sh*t!

No, no, no, no, Mins. Mins, no, wait.

I meant, I meant... f*ck!

Jesus, farmboy. Talk about ruining the mood.

Look, I think I do, though.

I think I f*cking love you.

You love f*cking me. It's different.

No, Mini, stop. Mini.

Mins? You in here, slut-bag?

Mins! I need some money. I know you're in here!

Er, I'm just having a piss. Give me one f*cking second, OK?

Let me in! I need one, too.

Shut the f*ck up!

What the f*ck, Mini?

If you're doing a sh*t, I've lost all respect for you.

Have you been, like, f*cking someone in here or something?

What? Like who, Sherlock?

Shhh.

Come on, lets go and dance.

Wait, Mini. I need a slash!

OK, I'm so sorry.

All right?

Calm, yeah?

OK, you've just got a little bit of some...

Oh, f*ck!

You don't mind, do you, love?

Morning, babe.

This is nice.

Why is he still here?

Well, I was going to run something past you, actually, sweetheart.

I think Eric should, you know, move in.

He's f*cking looking at my tits, Mum!

No, I...

He was!

How can you blame him if you'll come down with them hanging out like that?

He's a pervert.

You're asking me if I want to live with a pervert.

Don't be so dramatic.

I'm going to go.

Sit!

I mean, do you enjoy making people feel bad or something?

You're telling me that I make people feel bad? Oh, f*ck this.

Don't you dare ruin this for me.

Whatever!

It's time I thought about myself for once.

I am not going to live with some random bloke I don't know.

Don't I deserve to be happy, too?

Not if it fucks me over, no.

If you do this, I'll leave.

He's moving in tomorrow.

Just deal with it.

f*ck that!

Hello.

Hello? Hi, Gregory? Er, it's me, Mini.

Mini? Mini who?

Your daughter, Mini.

Hey, Mini.

Sorry I'm late.

How you doing?

I'm fine.

We came here last time, didn't we?

You were wearing red sparkly shoes.

Pink.

Two? Three years ago?

I was 12.

12? Wow.

So, is everything OK, little girl? You sounded stressed on the phone.

Things at home... with Mum.

She's got this new boyfriend who's moving in, she's driving me mad.

Sometimes I just feel like she doesn't even want me there.

Maybe I should speak to her? See what's going on.

Anyway, let's get out of here, shall we?

Well, I'd better get back to work, so where should I drop you?

You're back at the Bristol office?

Yeah, for a while.

Can I come see you there? Tomorrow maybe?

Yeah, sure, good idea.

Mini!

Oi, oi! Mins!

For God's sake, no.

Mini, Mini, Mini!

Just drive!

No, wait, wait, wait!

Now, Gregory, drive!

Wait!

What are you doing here, farmboy?

Didn't you see me? Just did a complete ninja run!

All right?

Hi.

This is my dad.

Oh, bangin'! I didn't know you had one.

So, we're just, we're just leaving so...

I wanted, I wanted to talk to you.

About last night.

That thing I said.

After the... the thing we did.

I think you're confusing your dreams with your life again.

So, I'll see you around, OK? Drive, Gregory, drive!

Mini? Mini. Mins, stop!

f*ck! Ow! sh*t!

Come in.

All right, beautiful? Come to rescue me?

Am I interrupting?

No, no, come in, come in. Mini, this is Ryan, my assistant and this is Jude.

Are you the intern?

He always did like them young.

I'm his daughter.

Your daughter?

So nice to meet you.

You too.

He's not normally this much of a douche.

Sorry, you just took me by surprise, that's all.

Er, hello? Have you forgotten about Boudoir or shall we just stand here and admire your progeny?

Get it done, Gregory. I'm counting on you.

I'll call you later.

Well, they all look the f*cking same to me!

This one's cool.

Well, yeah.

Looks good.

Done.

Right, let's get out of here.

I'm telling you, she's lucky we are launching her product at all.

It's like working with an overgrown teenager with a cr*ck habit!

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I'll have one...

All right, daydreamer? Away with the fairies?

Ah, the Gregory Show.

Do all those, er, people work for him?

Pretty much.

It's like the world's best looking family or something!

I hope you're including me in that.

How long have you been his assistant?

Er, almost a year.

I'm hoping we get this big international contract and then maybe I can...

Sorry, what?

Nah, it's OK. Go chat to him.

But have a drink with me sometime?

When I'm not working, I mean.

Maybe.

Dad?

You all right, love, have you got a drink?

Actually, I was just wondering, could I get a lift home?

Yeah, of course, darling, course. Right, come on then.

See you later, guys.

I don't want to live with her any more.

Well, you'd be weird if you did at your age.

You don't know what she's like.

Actually, I do!

Well, well, well, Shelley McGuinness!

I think you might have something of mine, Greg.

We were just talking about Mini maybe staying over at mine sometime this week, give us a chance to hang out.

Maybe make it a regular thing.

Regular?

Right, well, good luck with that, Greg.

Maybe you and I should meet up for coffee sometime?

f*ck off, Greg.

Mini, inside, now!

I'll see you when I get back, Mini!

I mean it, you're welcome anytime. Just call me, OK?

OK, thanks.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Eric let me in.

So you just thought you'd look through my stuff?

sh*t. I'm sorry.

Hey.

Can you turn off mega bitch for a second, please?

I want proper Mini.

Well, seeing as you're here, you might as well earn your keep.

Mini, Mini, Mini, Mini, Mini!

Shh.

That's not why I came round, all right?

I want to talk to you.

I'm sorry I freaked you out the other night.

You were f*cked.

I wasn't that f*cked.

Right, you can't just come over here and start bitching about feelings like a little p*ssy.

If you're not here to f*ck me, go home!

I'm coming in.

What? Get out, Eric, you paedo!

I don't think that Alo should be staying over, if that's what you were thinking.

No offence, mate.

Oh, no.

Are you having a f*cking schizophrenic episode or something?

I'm trying to do the right thing.

You're a young girl. Your mum wouldn't like it.

He's staying over, in here, with me, and we're going to f*ck so loud that it drowns out the noise of you f*cking my mother!

And your tea's ready.

You're sleeping on the floor.

What's the one where Liv looks like a condom?

Is Grace dressed as Cinderella?

Yes!

Halloween, year 10. Liv went as a condom.

And... and the one where Grace is holding a massive crab?

Newquay, summer before college.

She looks happy.

Mini?

I miss her too.

Alo. What?

You should go.

Let me wait till the morning glory's gone down, yeah?

Now! Get up!

Mini. Alo!

f*cking hell, Mini, chill out, you mentaler!

You need to stop being a bitch to me.

Oh, shut up!

That bad, huh?

Come in.

There is no Part 17, there's no f*cking part 17!

Hi! This is, like, so almost ready!

Is this my bed?

Yeah.

Maybe we shouldn't have laughed when they asked if we wanted to use the installation service!

Great!

Are... you two going to, er, grow a pair any time soon and get me a drink?

Yeah, I'll get the drinks.

It's like you've got super powers or something!

Piece of piss!

OK, champagne, anyone?

Thanks.

To Mini, for rescuing the world from useless men, one at a time!

Right, well, I'm wiped, I'll leave you to it.

I'll need those prints ready in the morning, Ryan, so no flirting with Mini, OK?

Dad!

Night-night.

He's so happy you're here.

Really?

I haven't seen him like this in ages.

I'm going to go, before you get me in trouble.

Too late, I already saw you.

You look cute.

Uh, where's Dad?

The office. It's half ten, sleeping beauty.

Oh.

Why are you here, then?

Follow me, mon cherie.

What are you doing?

Come on.

Close your eyes.

Uh, that's a bit rapey.

Just do it!

OK.

Ryan?

Ryan?

What... what's going on?

OK. Open your eyes.

Gregory's having a work event tonight.

He told me to find you a dress. What do you think?

Yeah.

Great. I've got to go. Get dressed, you hobo.

Get the f*ck out of me!

Mini?

Move.

Tell me this isn't what I think it is.

Uh, yeah, it might be, yeah.

Time to lay off the weed, Franks.

God.

You are.

Mini, wait!

What are you going to do? Mini?

Are you going to keep your mouth shut or not?!

Yeah.

Thank you.
I can't believe it.

All right?

Fine, f*g hag.

Still in that mood, then?

We were going to go to Thekla tonight. If you fancy it?

Why, is it ass-raider night or something?

You know, h*m*'s not your forte.

You can tell your heart's not really in it.

Actually, my dad's having a party at the Catacombs.

I'd ask you along but it's, er, it's pretty exclusive, Your dad's still around?

When did he muscle his way back into your life?

What's your problem, Liv?

You can't stand anything good to happen to anyone, can you?

That's not fair.

Enjoy your bum party, bum boy.

Mini, wait.

"What did become of my heart When I first saw thee?

"I brought a heart into the room "But from the room I carried none with me..."

Can I help you?

Yeah, sorry I'm late, erm... I'm in this class.

I don't recall you being here before.

Well, I've been away for a bit. Erm...

Like, on... holiday Oh, my God, of course! You're the boy whose... Of course!

Oh, you brave boy!

You poor, poor soldier of love.

All right, mate.

I've missed you.

You've never done this before.

I've missed you so much.

Oh, God, you smell good.

You smell so good!

Dad?

Hello?

Hello? Anybody home?

You're going to Australia?

Yeah... Yeah, next week, for work.

Didn't I say?

No.

No, you didn't say.

Oh, sorry, sweetheart, my head's all over the place at the moment.

Are you going to get changed?

Everyone says you're going to f*ck me over, Dad.

I'm just going to get my suit on.

It's work, Mini.

I'm coming back.

Come here.

I want this to work just as much as you do.

I just feel really...

Sad.

Come with me.

To Sydney.

What?

Yeah, why not? It'd be fun.

You're serious?

Very!

Well hang on, let me think.

No, no, don't think, just come! Yes? Yes, Mini?

Yeah, OK!

Yeah, fantastic. All right, I'm going to get changed.

Right, let's show you off then, shall we?

Looking good, my man.

All right, boys?

See you, Sandy.

Ladies. Looking very, very beautiful.

Thank you, darling.

Incoming, brace yourself.

Finally! Its a mess and I can't find a f*cking...

Everything looks great, what's the big deal?

Excuse me?

Ryan?!

Ryan, I think Mini might need a drink.

It's a complete f*cking mess.

Look, really...

Does he do it on purpose? Just brush me off like that.

No. No, never on purpose.

Urgh!

You're telling me you're not wetting yourself with love for Boudoir?

It tastes like...

Oh, my God, this stuff tastes like jizz!

Wait, this one's all right, this pink one.

Hello, sexy. Check these cocktails.

What are you doing here? You weren't invited!

Woah, babe, come on. Calm down.

Let's have a jizz cocktail. We can jam together, can't we?

Just get out of here before my dad sees you! I'm serious!

For fucks sake!

Hi, I'm Ryan, events coordinating assistant.

So nice meeting some of Mini's friends.

Right, well, have a good one, guys.

That Ryan guy is a f*cking douche.

Yep. Do you think she's just doing it to impress her dad?

Is that what's been wrong with her? She's been such a bitch recently.

Girls will do anything to keep hold of their dickhead dads.

We should do something.

I mean she seems, like... sad.

Wait, why are you so bothered anyway?

Oh, my God. You love her!

What? Shut up, no, I don't!

You totally f*cking do!

You crank over her every night, don't you!

Right, that's insulting!

No offence, but forget that one, man. Not a chance in hell.

Jackpot, b*tches!

Its not... It can't be?

It is. It f*cking is.

It's a gold mine in those pockets.

Amazing, share the love.

Rack 'em and stack 'em, half pint.

And let's get f*cked!

Whoa! Chill out, hoover!

Right, there you go.

You can have more when you're done.

Oh, f*ck, no.

I need to talk to you.

Hey, you're Mini's friend, right?

Ah, who is this?

Come on, mate, let's get you a drink.

I don't know what she's said, all right, but she's not available.

Do you understand?

I swear to God, if you don't shut up now...

I'm a bit lost, mate. What exactly is your problem?

Do you know what you look like? f*cking sleazing all over her?!

You're a d*ck, mate. She doesn't want you!

Alo, f*ck off. Please!

I suggest you leave now. You're upsetting my daughter.

Can someone get security in here now?

She's been weird ever since you turned up.

Stop it! Just leave us alone!

Did you set her up with this dickhead? She's my girlfriend.

You lot just f*ck with her head!

What are you talking about?

Gregory, get this idiot out of here now.

That's enough, it's time to leave.

Mini, Mini! Tell him to stop! Mini!

I don't want you here! I never wanted you at all.

Do you understand? Now get the f*ck out, you deluded loser!

I don't know what teenage drama you've got yourself embroiled in, but try for a bit more professionalism next time, OK?

I'm so sorry, Gregory, it won't happen again.

No, it f*cking won't.

Dad! I'm so sorry. He's a twat. I'm sorry.

OK, so this is weird.

I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong.

No, its OK, Mini. This was a stupid idea.

You're lovely, you know that?

Take care, OK?

Interesting evening.

Don't start.

Thanks.

You're putting way too much into it, you know.

With your dad, I mean.

Well, it'll be different this time.

Why? Why do you suddenly need him?

You tell me.

No, Mini, you need to start telling me!

Liv...

Deal me in, then.

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

I don't know, Franky. I don't f*cking know anymore.

You still haven't told her.

Who have you told, Mini?

Have you told anyone?

I haven't told myself.

Dad?

Yeah.

I'm pregnant, Dad.

And I... I don't know what to do about it.

I need someone to help me.

I need you to help me.

OK, darling. We can sort it. It can all be sorted.

It's probably all my fault.

What? No, Dad.

Could never just get over myself and stick it out.

The irony is I really f*cking loved your mum.

You can help me now, Dad.

I need you now.

Deal.

What about Sydney?

It'll all be OK. We'll go and we'll think when we're there.

Does that sound OK?

Can I stay at yours until we go?

Come over tomorrow morning.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Did you find my passport?

Well, its got to be around here somewhere!

I'm not having it.

I am not f*cking having it!

Mum! Stop it! You're being ridiculous!

No, no. Let go!

Look what you've done, you tramp!

I don't want you to go.

I thought you'd be pleased!

f*ck Eric in every room in the house if you like.

Pretend I wasn't here to f*ck everything up for you!

At that first scan, when I saw your little heartbeat on the screen, I loved you.

More than anything else. That hasn't changed.

Why don't you believe me?

Mini.

Promise me you'll keep yourself safe.

Your dad, he never kept me safe.

Maybe you weren't worth the effort.

Dad?

Dad?

'I'm sorry, the number you have dialled 'is no longer in use.

'I'm sorry, the number you have dialled is no longer in use...'

Farmboy, come down. I want to talk.

Are you going to keep giving me the silent treatment?

I've just waded through a sea of sh*t for you.

Great, thanks.

I'd just... you know, I'd quite like for you not to be here right now.

I'm telling you I'm sorry.

And I'm telling you it doesn't matter.

I thought it was working.

We... we agreed...

I'm done, Mins.

It's too much.

It's too f*cking exhausting loving you.

But, Alo, I...

Say it.

I don't think you know how to love anything.

Oh! Shall I...?

Don't.

Just leave it a minute, will you?

You all right, love?

Not sure, Eric.

Your Mum's going to be over the moon.

You really love her, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

And you're going to stay here with me and Mum?

That's the plan, love.

OK.

That's OK.

Miss McGuiness?

There it is. Look.

No, thank you.

Do you want to know what it is?

I know what it is. It's a f*cking baby.

Yes, it is.

Look - it's your baby.

I'm in trouble.

What sort of trouble?

Some guys. I owe some money to some guys.

I need 2, 000. Cash. And I need it tomorrow.

Why don't you just stop trying to f*cking help me, all right?!

Ah!

You don't give a f*ck about anyone!

You're a headfuck, Franky.

Nick! Matty.

I'm coming home. I'm coming back.
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