1x04 - (US) Cadie

US Seasons 1-7 and UK Original Version Complete Collection. Aired: February 2007 to August 2013.*
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The story of a group of British teens who are trying to grow up and find love and happiness despite questionable parenting and teachers who more want to be friends (and lovers) rather than authority figures.
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1x04 - (US) Cadie

Post by bunniefuu »

You wanna do it now? You have to be quick, is all.

I took a busload of pills.

Time to leave!

Hi, Betty.

Can I buy you a drink?

Michelle know you're here?

What would Michelle care?

Stanley, what do you think of my tits?

What?

Stanley?

Yeah?

How long are we gonna keep pretending we're having sex?



Dr. Moore: Tell me more about this "good place" you're in.

The good?

On the phone you said you were in a good place.

Right... right... oh, yes.

Um, I've got some new stuff going on, you know...

New interests. I got some new friends.

That's nice to hear.

I think I might be happy.

Happy?

Happier.

This only works if you're honest with me, right?

Right.

Right.

Because it seems to me that you're exhibiting symptoms of depression, low self-worth, anxiety...

Those are all different things, right?

Can I have one of those bananas?

Let me tell you something, Cadie, woman to woman.

You're 17. You're beautiful.

This is the best time of your life.

My vag*na has the look and feel of Turkey jerky.

I would do anything to be 17 again.

You would?

Please, you don't need a doctor to tell you to go and have fun.

What would your mother say?

She'd say I need more dr*gs.


♪ All I need from you ♪

♪ Is a good... ♪

Hey, Cadie.

Assessment?

Looks great, dad. Very dynamic.

You think so?

Yeah, it's really suffering, you know? Awesome.

I don't think it looks scared enough.

I saw Dr. Moore today.

Oh yeah? Good?

Yeah, it was good.

He fix you?

He's a she.

She fix you?

Yeah, she fixed me good.

Cool.

Do you like my birds?

Took 'em a while to dry out...

Check out the entry wounds...

I can't see any.

Really?

Huh.

Yup. On television again... I'm back!

"Pageant rematch" they're calling it...

Hell, I was pageant perfection back in the day, and damn it, I am still perfect.

My nipples still point at the wall.

Yes, you can tell.

Yeah, well, the whole family's gotta...

Well, Cadie's going to behave...

Look, she's a little bit kooky, and little bit flat-chested but...

They are going to think she's beautiful.

Yes... they made that show, "lesbian dorm."

And what was the other one called?

"DNA disaster" with the midgets. I love that!


♪ A little bird ♪
♪ Hidden in your purse ♪
♪ Traveling bag ♪
♪ And you never take him out♪
♪ Little creatures ♪
♪ Flying off the page ♪
♪ A little prisoner you can lock up in a cage ♪


♪ Tropical birds ♪
♪ Love to get away ♪
♪ You want to keep them ♪
♪ But they never want to stay ♪
♪ Little creatures ♪
♪ Innocent and free ♪
♪ You twisted sisters only want to clip their wings ♪

Oh, Cadie...

It's beginning to look like a madhouse in here.

So, how was the doctor?

It was good.

But she said I should spend more time with my friends...

I'm so happy to hear that. Listen, Cadie, I'm meeting with a couple of tv producers tomorrow.

Oh.

It's a reunion show.
"Pageant rematch."

"Are they still stacked?"
Cute huh?

It's catchy.

Obviously there's a lot of interest in me, since I actually won every pageant I entered.

But, all the gals will be there.

Except for the girl from Bluewater.

Shame about that speedboat.

Anyway, the executives are coming, and I'd like you to meet them.

Okay.

Good. And Cadie, please, remember your medication.

Maybe take a little extra.

I just want you as good and happy and stable as possible, okay?

Sure, mom.

But I wanted to tell you about...

(Phone ringing)

Hello? Hi!

Yes... yes, yes!

Of course I still have my oboe!

I was just practicing.

Ken: Inching towards me, and I wonder if he's dead.

Because the last thing you need is to come face to face with a cornered, angry beaver.

And I reach down, and it looks dead, right?

So, I go to prod it with my g*n...

(Shouting)

(Yelping)

(Laughing)

Sorry.

(Phone vibrating)

Hi Stanley...

Hey, Cadie. How's it going?

Good, I guess.

Wow. Okay.

So, hey, um, Michelle's mom just got this new hot tub.

I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party over there.

With you?

Uh, sure. I'll be there, and if you go, you'll be there, so sure, we'll be there together.

Is this our date?

Huh?

You said we should have a date.

Was it I that...?

Hell, why not? It's a date.

My day is great now. It got promoted.

Abbud: Stop flirting! Get to the point!

Uh... that's cool... Ask her, man!

Ask her!

Ask her now, man!

Do you think you could bring some of your pills?

Pills?

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Shut up!

Come on! Stan!

Yeah, we always have such fun... with the pills.

What kind do you want?

There's a choice?

Blue!

Whatever you can get, I mean, anything really...

Um... blue?

Blue pills. I can do that.

(Moaning)

Sounds great. Um, all right, I'll see you later.

Davina: So, in order to defeat obsessive-compulsive disorder we constantly have to confront our fears head on.

Every minute of every day.

You can't lock and unlock your door six times before you leave the house. Just leave.

You can't wash your hands over and over again.

Just leave 'em dirty.

And if you think you're gonna pee your pants unless you say the word "zombie" five times, just do it.

It's that simple and that hard.

Cadie, are you listening to me?

Okay. Let's do this. The birds.

Why don't you take me through your feelings?

Pigeons. They travel in flocks and you never know what they're going to do.

And they're filthy and full of disease.

And they're not scared of me.

They look at me.

Well, that's all true.

But Cadie that's why we took you to that park where all those elderly people... They were...

Feeding the pigeons. Yes. I remember.

Thousands of them, fluttering and flapping.

Peck, peck, peck...

Peck, peck. Yes, that's right.

Now, confront that thought. Defeat it.

Yes. They're not looking at me...

Yes!

Yes. They're looking at the bread crumbs and the old people.

Yes!

And I can leave at any time.

And they can't hurt me.

(Imitating pigeon noises)

It's not working, davina. I'm having obsessive thoughts.

Come on, tell me, Cadie. What are they? Tell me. Tell me now!

I wanna s*ab you.

I think I'm gonna write you another prescription.

And maybe some of the blue pills.

Pretty big order...

I'm going traveling...

Hey, kid.

Hey, kid!

I got something for you to try.

Okay...

Think you might really like it.

One's not going to hurt you.

I said okay.

Charlotte! Last time.

Quit dealing dr*gs in the pharmacy!

Later, Marty.

Marty: You are so getting sugar pills next time, dope tits!

Read my lips, Charlie: Placebo!

Hey, you know those meds that mellow out night terrors but sometimes can make you try to drive your car in your sleep?

Yeah, I think I have some of those.

Want to trade? I got real heavy epilepsy meds.

It's like taking a b*llet to the brain.

Cool. How'd you get them?

Oh, you know...

That's pretty good.

Whoa, they're purple.

Last time I took those, I thought I was popping study pills.

Woke up two days later in the showroom of a mattress discounter.

You riding home?

No.

I'm flying home.

Later.

(Flapping)

Hi dad.

Ahh!

Cadie!

You, uh... startled me.

Where's that thing...

The doctor said I should spend more time with you.

Really? Which doctor?

They're all properly qualified medical practitioners, dad.

Right...

Okay...

Well, I gotta get going now.

Well, maybe I could go hunting with you today?

Look Cadie, when I'm out there, it's my time.

I get my time...

Well, they said I'm in need of guidance.

Great need.

Dad?

Dad!

What?!

Mom says we're going to be on television.

Yeah.

(Fluttering)

Dad?

Ken: Stop talking! You're scaring everything away!

Dad?

(Bird cawing)

(Many birds cawing)

So your father's dead.

Yes.

Do you mind telling me how that happened?

I guess I can. It's kind of a crazy story.

That's okay.

Well, my parents met at the circus.

My dad was one of those trainers who taught bears to ride unicycles, and my mom was the second fattest woman in the world.

One day, they were, you know, fooling around by the trapeze, and I guess my mom was crushing my dad, and he fell, and an elephant ended up, you know, stepping...

Right on his head.

Smashed his skull like a melon.

My mom says that was the day I was conceived.

Cadie...

I'm not so sure that's true.

But she's slimmed down now.

She's probably like the 4th or 5th fattest woman in the world.

Cadie.

So she looks better, but I still can't really get my arms around her.

Of course.

And what about friends?

I have some.

And a boyfriend.

Does he make you happy?

Yes.

You take a lot of dr*gs, don't you, Cadie?

Yes, but I don't think they're working.

I think I might need some more. Stronger ones.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah?

Have you ever tried not taking dr*gs.

What?

The dr*gs. Have you tried not taking them?

Get outta here.

Everyone is going to disappoint you, Cadie.

They won't mean to, but they will.

dr*gs won't change that.




Cadie!

Still fits!

Now you should probably cover up tomorrow, but I'm thinking it'll really wow those pageant rematch producers if I show them a little skin.

Mom, that's great. You look amazing.

Cadie. You spoke to me. That is so nice.

Mom. How do you know if something is real?

You can feel it.

What like, inside?

Cadie, don't be batty. Emotions aren't real.

Look, I'll show you.

Put your hand on my side there. You feel that?

Those are ribs. That's real.

I'm 41 and there's not an ounce of fat on me.

Here.

You never wear the stuff I buy you.

And I know pretty.

Put this on tomorrow for the television people.

It'll help with the breasts.

And smile, remember?

Smile like you're pretty.
(Doorbell ringing)



Look up if you like me...

Hey! How's it going?

It's okay.

Woman: Oh yeah, that's right!

Drink up, you losers!

Michelle's mom keeps giving us margaritas.

She's friendly.

Oh, yeah. Gettin' friendlier by the minute.

Did you bring the, um...

Oh, right!

Hey, Cadie!

Hey, I brought you all this... Like you said, Stan...

No, no, no, no, no! Not now!

Oh. Sorry...

That's a lot of dr*gs there, Cadie. You got everything?

Kinda.

You have any mood enhancers?

What kind of mood you looking for?

Bedroom mood...

Stan here says you're a real hellcat in the sack, and I think 'Chelle could really use a boost, chemically.

Don't be such a d*ck.

Michelle!

Hi, mom.

Takin' it easy, right?

I am taking it easy!

Don't we throw good parties?

Who's this?

Mom, this is Cadie.

Cadie, this is mom and that's Jimmy, her...

Just Jimmy.

Hi.

Hello! Hi! Jimmy look!

Cadie...

Do you guys need drinks?

Actually no, Jillian.

Thanks, but we're supplied.

Well, that's totally hunky dory!

But thank you, though.

No problem at all.

Come on, 'Chelle.

Aren't you lovely?

Look at her, Jimmy.

Isn't she just a beautiful young lady?

Yeah, she's lovely.

Gorgeous.

Mm-hmm.

Let's do it!

Blues! I'm in heaven.

I'll take those. Here you go, nips.

There any footballs?

Chris: You are the coolest, Cadie.

Abbud: Yeah, Cadie, you are!

(Excited chattering)

You guys are idiotic.

Yeah. We're gonna be much better than that any minute now.

You know guys?

Jillian: Hello! Where are all the party people?

sh*t, guys, move it!

Move it. Let's go!

Tony: Hurry up. Hurry. Hurry. Come on. Come on.

Your mom's gonna k*ll me. Hurry up.


♪ It's the dust that you kick in my face ♪
♪ When you don't say goodbye ♪
♪ Oh, memory ♪
♪ Won't you speak to me? ♪


(Cheering)

I love my life!



Hey Tony.

Tony.

Oh, hey.

Did you see Stanley? We're supposed to be on a date.

I don't know.

I guess he...

I don't know.

Hey, Cadie, those blue pills, what do they do?

Intensify emotion.

Yeah. I guess that's right.

Intensify.



Yo, 'Bbud. Did you just fart in there?

Eww!

Eww!

No, man! And dude, this is a hot tub.

With the jets, it's actually impossible to tell who, if anyone, has actually farted.

That's the beauty of the thing.

You so farted, man!

No!

(Laughing)

I can't swim!



'Chelly.



Don't love him.



Love me.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Ah, geez, Michelle.


♪ I don't even care what you say ♪
♪ 'Cause my love is here to stay ♪

(Cheering)

Well, hello, sir.

'Bbud, Jamie.

Oh, hey. Abbud. Sorry. I'm, like, orbiting.

Don't bother. Jamie doesn't interface with men.

Really? Not even gay dudes?

I mean, I'm not gay.

I just really like to know about people. I'm gay curious.

Tell him that's even worse.

She says that's even worse.

Huh. That's really interesting, and we could talk about that because I totally, totally, totally "get" lesbians.

Oh yeah, you should add me on lipstickbutch.Com.

I'm "Tenderfist 69."

This party is so hetero-normative.

And your friends are just, like, totally gender-coercive.

See you around.

Thanks, 'Bbud.

Hetero-normative? You got to be kidding me.

You've got to be kidding!

Ah! Now you're getting, like, totally gender-coercive, tea.

I love it.

Oh, wow. Listen to that. I love this song!

Mom, go back inside.

Mom, mom, mom!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Show some skin!

No, no, no, no, no!

(Laughing)

So embarrassing!

I want to dance!

Mom, stop it! Mom!

(Snoring)



Want some?



Okay. You're Tony's sister, right?

You don't speak, do you?

That's okay.

I did that for four months.

It's cool. But you do know they're going to put you in a clinic, right?

Are you crazy, too?

I've decided not to be crazy.

I stopped taking dr*gs for my boyfriend.

Woo! Hey, Cadie-shack.

Hey, totally weird Tony sister.

You having fun?

Not really. Stan is...

It's not going too well.

It'd probably help if you got out of that dress.

What?

Look, he obviously likes the goods since he keeps coming back for more.

Huh?

You know, all the...

You're having.

Oh, right, that, yeah. Sex.

Yeah.

Just take your top off.

Thanks for the dr*gs, girl. It's all going down.



This looks like fun.

You don't mind if an old guy gets in here, do you?

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's better.

Coming over!

(Sighing)

Oh, check it out. I got inflated.

I think I should go.

Whoa, hey, look, look, hey. Where you going, beautiful?

Let's just talk.

There's something you should know, Cadie.

Boys your age, they don't know what the hell they're doing.

A girl like you, you're kind of like that caterpillar up there, waiting to blossom.

That's not a cocoon. It's...

Oh!

Come on. You're so serious.

Hey, hey!



Stan, look, I like you.

I'm asleep.

Yeah, yeah.

You're nice to talk to, you know, to a point.

But I don't appreciate you b*ating off on my Teddy, okay?

Stan, don't you have your own girlfriend to worry about?

Girlfriend?

Oh, you mean Cadie.

Yes, Cadie. Who you bone every night, according to Tony.

Oh, geez.

'Chelly, can you sit down?

No, Stan. You jizzed in my bed.

Look, just sit down. I have something to tell you.

It's a secret, okay?

I need to tell you about Cadie.

Forget about Michelle. She's not part of this.

I don't even know why you followed me in here.

You felt something. Don't tell me you didn't.

I felt something, okay? But that doesn't...

Tea, listen to me. You want this too. I know you do.

Just go away. I mean it, Ton'. Go away.

I'm not walking away, 'cause this is different.

No.

It's real. And you know it too.

Why don't you just give something a chance for once in your life?

Go away.

Okay, be lonely.

Hey, Cades. How are you?

Where's Stan?

Tony, were you doing something bad?

It's just, every time I see you, you're doing something bad.

Relax, Cades. It's a party.

You can't keep doing just whatever you want, you know.

Things can't always work out for you.

Listen, Cadie, you let me worry about me, all right?

You focus on your own problems. You've got enough.

Maybe start with that boyfriend of yours.



Did you hear all that?

It's none of my business, tea.

Right, yeah.

I haven't been good in lots of ways. I'm really sorry.

What for?

That Stan invited you here for your dr*gs.

It was really shitty.

Stanley should treat you better than that.

We should all be better.



(Cheering)



Oh, wow. Look who's here? Are you...

I wanted to be by myself.

Oh, okay, sure.

Look, I'm glad you're still here.

I hope I didn't do anything to offend you before, nothing that we need to tell Jillian about, certainly, just some old-fashioned chaperone-to-chaperone-y banter, huh?

Want to get high?

Yeah.



You girls are just so much fun.

We can be, if you treat us right.

Okay. I just take it?



Oh, God. You're just so care-free, no responsibilities.

You're just so...

Perky.

I love that, love it.



Hey 'Chelly, where's your mom?

I have no clue.

Crashed somewhere as usual, I expect.



Stan, where are you going?

sh*t!

Cadie.

What the (Bleep) are you doing?

Having some fun.

Well, it's been great seeing you kids.

I hope we can keep quiet about the dr*gs you've all been doing.

Jesus.



Not everything is about you, Stan.

So, now you think getting groped by some perv is fun?

Yeah! I'm fun! I'm a whole (Bleep) lot of fun!

But what do you care?

I don't know! This...

This isn't fun. This is crazy.

This is all just completely insane!

You just lose it. How can anyone respect that?

Leave me alone.

You always just lose it.

You don't know.

And I care when you lose it!

You don't know anything.

I care.



(Pigeons cooing)

Go away! Go away!



Cadie! Cadie! They're here.

The television executives came early.

What the...

What are you...

This is completely insane.

There are people downstairs waiting to meet you.

Myself and your father are ready, organized, happy.

And look at you!

You look terrible.

This is the one thing I ask of you.

What did I tell you about staying on your meds?

Don't you want to be happy?

Mom, there's too many birds out there.

I can't stand it.

For God's sakes, Cadie, take your medication.

Now!

And don't even think about coming down there unless you are stable!

♪ You're living a sl*ve ♪
♪ The room is full ♪


♪ But time wiggles ♪
♪ Under my skin ♪
♪ All that matters ♪
♪ A place in the heart ♪
♪ Where no one has been ♪
♪ Bend the corners and the cracks ♪
♪ Of my eyes ♪
♪ Hoping to see the innocent ♪
♪ Hoping to feel all right ♪
♪ Dusty gray messengers ♪
♪ Scamper across the floor ♪
♪ But not for me ♪
♪ The light is fleeting ♪
♪ Details soon escape me ♪
♪ See them run, see them run ♪
♪ Every time ♪
♪ I'm left feeling a fool ♪
♪ Like I missed the ultimate truth ♪
♪ While thinking your dimples are cool ♪
♪ In the corners and the cracks ♪
♪ Of my eyes ♪
♪ Hoping to see the innocent ♪
♪ Hoping to feel all right ♪
♪ Dusty gray messengers ♪
♪ Scamper across the floor ♪
♪ But not for me ♪
♪ But not for me ♪

See?

I'm happy.

♪ But not for me ♪
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