04x06 - Of All The Gin Joints

[bunniefuu]

[opera singing]

[clapping]

Brava! Brava!

Bravissima!

[humming]

[music]

[whistle blowing]

Ahh! Ahh!

"Dear, K, I G 2 G.

Go Hans Solo and all that.

I don't know how to do this, but YOLO, right?

Holla at you soon, Tam-Tam."

Hmmm... kids they're as cryptic as...

...a witness signature on a Dark contract?

Tam-Tam's just following her heart.

And I wonder...

Now, I have a big hole in mine.

Can you really know yourself without memory?

Can you know what you want?

I just hope she's safe.

Freedom and a lot of boom-boom.

God, it is so good to dish.

I don't know what I would do without you.

Me, too.

[shallow breathing]

Hey, are you okay?

Come on...

You got her?

Yeah, yeah. Sit down.

Ah-ah-ah!

Toll for being not-helping douche-balls!

Water, honey.

You...

[speaking Russian]

Whoa, she's Russian.

Sweet!

[speaking Russian]

Uh, a little help here, Kenz.

[speaking Russian]

Uh, "I can't believe I found you. I found you! I found you!"

She found you is the primary message.

I've never seen her before in my life.

[speaking Russian]

"I came. I came, I came, I came just like she told me to."

Who? Who told you to come?

You. You did.

[title music]

Life is hard when you don't know who you are.

It's harder when you don't know what you are.

My love carries a death sentence.

I was lost for years, searching while hiding.

Only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live the life I choose.

4x06 - Of All the Gin Joints

Bo... I told you. Ianka needs to rest.

Trick, some woman I don't know and never talked to said I told her to come see me. I don't know if I believe her, or what to believe anymore, but I need to talk to her.

Pretty please.

She needs to heal. She's an Alkonost, a very rare and delicate descendant of bird people. And running in the cold may have strained her vocal chords.

Let me guess? Singing is how she feeds.

The Alkonost's song evokes powerful memories.

Wait... What kind of memories?

Some good, some bad.

Their songs can even take life.

Including their own if they're not careful.

Just let her rest for now.

Well, when Liza Fae-nelli wakes up, let me know.

[music]

You would have k*lled at Studio 54. Just like I k*lled the busboy who served me tonic instead of soda.

What do you want?

Well, I thought I'd come over and help you move, but clearly we have something more pressing to work on.

Your hostessing skills ... they suck ass, disco queen.

Well, I-I...

[laughing]

I didn't really expect The Morrigan just to...

[chuckling] show up with... pizza and beer.

Well, it's not a moving day party without some 'za, and a little something from my own personal microbrewery.

Oh, wow. "Dark Belch."

I was going through a redneck phase.

They were delicious, so... no regrets.

And please, if we're going to be working together, call me Evony.

Oh, oh, careful! Careful.

[chuckles]

Jeez... What's in there?

It's, um, my, uh... entire Star Trek DVD collection. Yeah.

Enterprise, Voyager, Next Generation. The movies.

My... con collectible action figures.

Oh, honey... I obviously came just in time.

[music]

The prodigal wolf returns.

Rode for two days straight.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Bo...

Dyson...

Well, that's not good news.

It's Lauren.

Looks like she has gone with the Dark.

Oh, well, yeah.

You're gonna giggle.

Really, you are, but as it turns out... so did I.

What? Why?

My hand was forced, okay?

By The Wanderer, or Rainer. Whoever the bastard is.

We can fix this. I promise. I think I know where we can start.

Yeah... so do I.

Bo... you're Dark. I'm Light. We can't.

Do you understand? It's forbidden.

Good.

[music]

Do you like that?

It's different.

I said... do you like that?

I'll learn.

Oxidated water is good for vocals. Or, is it un-oxidated...

Balls of Minotaur!

What's wrong with you two? Light and Dark can't fraternize!

Dyson!

I know. I know.

You both have to be smarter.

The Una Mens are everywhere.

So, close the door on your way out.

No. You get your brains out of each other's pants, and get out of my barrel room.

Ianka's awake. Try not to aggravate her.

She's very...

...delicate. Yes. I know.

Ianka...

Oh! My hero. I'm so happy I found you!

I did not think it would happen, but here you are.

And here I am.

Well, I'm glad you're okay, but... what are you talking about? I've never met you.

No, but... you came to see me after I sang for you.

And it touched you so deeply.

When did you sing for me? Where?

It was at... the... You made me promise.

What did I make you promise?

That I would come here and find you.

I said, "no, Bo, I can't, it's impossible."

But, you insisted I escape. You gave me such inspiration.

I don't understand. I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say.

Just listen.

[opera singing]

[opera singing]

What the hell...

It was a good memory?

It was, um... vague.

And weird. But it was a clue, a real clue.

Please, Ianka, sing more.

No. We shook on it. I sing for you and you get me what I want most in the world.

Which is?

Freedom.

[music]

Ianka, you can't hold my memories hostage.

No, I do not have your memories. Only you have your memories!

I only have the key to unlock them.

You should probably give me this key.

Oh... People talk about the Succubus, and they say you are different, but you are just like the others. You promise me my wings and then you pluck my feathers so you can hear me sing.

I'm sorry. Lately, I've just been feeling so lost.

Wait... What others?

I sing for a wealthy and powerful Buraq.

Him, and only him. But I am starving. I cannot feed.

If only I could sing for an audience.

If only I could sing my Famous Aria.

Guess I'm more of a Black Eyed Peas kind of girl.

"Ni Regrette Du Passé

Ni Perdu De L'Avenir."

Hm? It means,

"Neither regret the past nor fear the future."

Well, it's beautiful.

But, it doesn't mean anything to me.

You, you said... you would not remember.

Please, uh, look in your Kn*fe. The handle...

"Ianka, you will sing for me, and I will bring you freedom."

That's my handwriting.

Ianka!

Oh, no. Please, Bo, help me. It's him.

Who him?

Ianka! Ianka!

Who is the owner of this establishment?!

Where is my Ianka? The poor thing!

Hey! She's not a thing, pal. And nobody owns her.

That is not true.

The beautiful Ianka has been in my family for centuries.

Yeah, well, four score and a bunch of years ago, Lincoln threw down and sl*very went the way of the Dodo. So, let her go.

Surely, you jest. Bring her to me. Now.

Sorry. Ianka left ten minutes ago.

No, she didn't. She's here.

You put a GPS on her?

What is she? A dog with a chip in her ear?

Don't be ridiculous. The device is in her necklace.

Then I'll rip it off her.

Try it. And you'll only tighten it around her throat.

All she wants is to sing the Famous Aria.

And all I ask is that you allow it.

The Famous Aria... wasted on the masses.

Now, you're just insulting me.

People speak of your generosity. Your benevolence.

Well, I am both.

Well, when the public finds out that you deprived them of a performance by Ianka, they'll see who you truly are.

Wait now... I simply hadn't made up my mind.

Hmm... I will allow it. But, I need a private room, a bottle of Scapa 25 single malt, and a place to sit that's not so... sticky.

I can do less sticky.

The personal and professional journals of Charles Mayo, Albert Einstein, and Marie Curie? How?

Marie turned out to be a real axe wound, so I stole her diary as a joke. Mayo's I dug up from under Jimmy Hoffa and Einstein's? Picked that up at a garage sale.

You go to garage sales?

Mm-hmm.

You wouldn't believe the sh*t that humans will sell for a few sawbucks. My Van Gogh, my Stradivarius, two Faberge eggs. Gustav Faberge would lose his sh*t if he knew.

They were Fae? Are all these journals from the Fae?

There's hundreds more in the archives.

Oh...

"July 30, 1830...

Patient O'Connor, who was previously and successfully injected with tuberculosis bacilli took a turn last night and d*ed."

This doctor was experimenting on humans.

That's typical Dark Fae callousness.

Oh, the hubris of your kind. That doctor was not Fae.

Oh, wll... although, I am very proud of my profession, I haven't always agreed with the methods of my forefathers.

Why not?

Anticoagulants, flu vaccines, basic anatomy.

You know, medicine and treatment meant for humans is best researched on humans.

Wow. [laughing]

Wow. I mean, could your theories be any more outdated?

We actually use computers now to navigate diseases and help find cures. We can grow organs, tissue samples...

Oh, oh, compromise.

We can clone somebody and experiment on them.

No. It's disgusting. I won't do it and you can't make me.

Lauren, calm down. Have a drink.

Look, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to.

But, I want you to feel free.

Oh, okay, and morals? Ethics?

Overrated. But, if they're important to you, I can respect that.

If I agree to work with the Dark Fae, it will have to be on my own terms.

Fine. Right. Scouts honour.

Kenzie, you need to get out of here.

An Alkonost's song can hurt humans.

After nearly four years of your nerve-shredding fiddle-dee-pluck-me-holy-cloveers -sh**t-me-in-face music...

I think I can handle it.

Kenzie... you really should go

I'm not going anywhere.

I am so sorry, but I am your biggest fan.

Oh!!! Ah! Ah! Oh, my God! How are you?

How are you?

I'm good!

What are you doing here?

So, she's famous and beautiful and Russian.

She's also obnoxious and vain and stuck up...

And did you know that "singer" in Russian actually means "whore?"

Except it doesn't...

Are you listening to me?

She is the key, Kenz. To my memories, to finding Rainer, and who knows what else.

[opera music playing]

[opera music playing]

[clatter!]

A train... I'm on a train.

I can almost see his face...

So sorry for the interruption, folks, but this prized songstress of yours is wired to blow.

If you don't do exactly as I say, the little bird goes kaboom.

Looks like it's our turn to take centre stage.

Somebody just crossed the wrong diva.

If anyone here has a death wish, by all means try and stop me.

It's Ianka's necklace, the crystals.

One music fan puts a GPS in it and the other...

Programs it to explode. Correct.

Who are you and what do you want?

He is Marcus, a Camazotz Mayan Bat Warrior.

And he's come for Ianka. Just like you did all those years ago.

And I got her, didn't I?

Uh huh... And I stole her back.

Do you wish to start another w*r?!

It is you who wishes to fight. In all Camazotz, Ianka evokes memories of battles waged and won.

It bolsters their armies.

And I say yes to your provocation.

One word to my fellow Baraqians, and we shall rain fire on you!

No!

Unrest of any kind will bring unwanted attention from the Una Mens.

The Famous Aria has weakened her.

This is too much.

Moving an Alkonost when she is weak is a death sentence.

You want Ianka alive? You need to let her rest, Marcus.

[music]

This will help her regain her strength.

Yeah, and give us a chance to look at those crystals.

They're not crystals. They're Atlantean Quartz.

Once thought to ignite volcanic eruptions.

Oh. When Marcus said kaboom, he really meant it.

So, how do we stop this?

The Quartz needs to be frozen.

But only liquid volcanic argon will do the trick.

No biggie, I'll send Kenzi to the tunnels.

To where?

The liquid volcanic argon store.

[laughing]

Okay, do it again!

Okay, okay, okay!

Doctor's log, stardate 4365.3, sitting on couch with Evony, AKA The Morrigan, who seems suspiciously human.

Why? Because I have feelings?

Oh, I don't know. Empathy and compassion are two words I would not usually associate with you.

My God, I think I'm tipsy. I've had one beer.

Twenty-five percent alcohol?! Are you kidding me??

[laughing]

Ahem.

Hi! Alternate reality Lauren.

I'd like to talk to the real Lauren, so please go get her. Thank you.

Belch?

Well, you're getting your colour back.

Oh, it's so good to see a face from the past.

Your face.

Remember the pranks we used to play in the amphitheatre after dark? In the, ... near the... how did you call it? Space rock?

Sonic meteorite. Yeah.

Hmm.

I would dial the tone... beep, boop, bap!

Remember what you would ask?

Ah, yes. Is your refrigerator on?

And they say yes, and I say, "then you better go and catch it."

[laughing]

You mess the joke up every time.

Oh, you make fun. But... you make me smile.

Oh... thank you. For the visit.

But, I must lie down.

Of course.

[music]

Okay, explain this to me again.

You and Bo need liquid argon to add to the barrels of your homemade merlot in order to avoid oxidation?

Yup! Yeah, nothing to worry about.

It's just our new thing. You know, a good old home hooch.

Looks like you got something new, too.

You guys, like, moving in together?

No, we're just talking, and since this place belongs to the Light, Evony helped me find a great new loft in the city.

Evony. Hm. Wow. Weird.

[sniff]

This doesn't smell like Kool Aid.

How's Bo?

Good.

You know, uh, black smoke and gargoyles crystal clear Atlantean Quartz, the usual.

But, she, uh... she misses you. We all do.

Wait... did you say clear Atlantean Quartz?

Stay back.

You don't really want to harm Ianka.

Do you?

I want what I want.

Well, maybe if you tell us what that is, we can help you out.

I can't say, but achieving it means blowing up Bamber's prize bird...

Then yes, I will harm her.

'Ya know, it's a weak man who keeps a bar full of innocent hostages.

You leave.

Not on your life.

And especially not on hers.

Now.

Little men and their little toys.

I'll be upstairs. I won't let anything happen to you.

[music]

Mission accomplished?

Bamber's transmitter, as promised.

Will it work?

Like a charm.

You are now looking at a receiver, compliments of my days with the SIS.

Please, you must...

I can't. And you will be...

Bamber will come after...

...speak his name.

[radio interference]

Someone's listening to us.

It's over.

Don't say that!

I'm sorry, Ianka.

Please, Marcus, no!

[beeping]

The detonator. He pressed it.

Everybody get down!

Bo, what's happenning? What did I miss?

Oh, and I have to tell you something.

The Quartz didn't detonate.

Of course not. There's no fire in it anymore.

It's dead, done, a fake.

You know, like the Mayan apocalypse.

God, what a rip that was. Come on...

Oh, okay. The transparency of the necklace proves it's involatility.

Now you're telling me?

Channeling Dr. Lauren.

Oh, yeah, right. How is she?

Good! Good, yeah, you know, in a general, uh... alone sense. BTdubs, have you seen Hale?

Hale? Yeah.

He's... you know, around. Probably.

I think I'm going to go find him.

Okay.

Ianka's gone. Her and Marcus.

He took her right from under our noses.

But why now?

And what were they doing behind that curtain?

[music]

Looks like Tweety and Sylvester have flown the coop.

So, tell me, was she in on this?

I don't know.

Look, she has the answers that I need, so somebody better start talking, and lucky boy, that's going to be you.

When my family stole Ianka back from Marcus... my songstress was not the same.

There was a new light in her.

And a new distance between us.

Ianka was never afraid of Marcus. Not once.

Are they partners?

Marcus is a radical, bent on hatred for all Baraqians. That is all I know.

Now leave.

Bo! Over here.

Check it out...

This is where Trick used to hide his rare Omni transmitter. With it, Marcus could broadcast anything, from anywhere.

You fix cars, too?

Who do you think's been changing your spark plugs?

I love this side of you. Love...

Love.

What?

Dyson, they're in love!

That's what Bamber was trying to say.

Marcus and Ianka are in love.

But, what's that got to do with the transmitter?

You think the Bambers would ever let them be together?

But, if there were no Bambers...

Ianka can sing death notes.

She and Marcus... they're going to k*ll them all.

But where?

I overheard Hale mention some kind of sonic stonework on Bamber's estate.

Come on, let's go.

There's dozens of Baraqians.

We have to warn them all in person.

Go get 'em, Wolfy.

Bo! Hale is gone! Missing.

Oh... what?

These bird women, they could hurt Fae with their voices.

Hurt how? Bad hurt? Dead hurt?

I'm coming with.

No. It's too dangerous.

This is not a discussion!

Hale's gone and I haven't even told him that I...

I know. Come on, let's go kick some serious ass.

Ianka, stop!

The Baraqians has been warned of your death note as we speak.

Yeah! What she said!

Death note? No. I am singing no such thing.

Marcus and I only want to be together.

And the transmitter?

To tell his family about our love. Right, my darling?

Ianka... some things are bigger than love.

No... you want me to...

I will not k*ll the Bambers.

I'm not asking.

[whistle blowing]

Ah! Please, Marcus, stop!

[whistle blowing]

[high-pitched screeching]

Bo, Bo, help...

No, not like that!

Bo, let me finish him.

I hear anything other than the death note, this g*n mows you all down.

Everybody get out of here! Marcus and I need to talk.

Kenz, leave!

I'm not leaving! I came here to rescue you!

Guys, go!

What is this? Soul Train?

Marcus, please stop all this.

This isn't you. This anger, this ugly hate...

Sing the death note.

You love me.

Just sing already, you bitch.

[opera singing]

Stop!

Ahhhhh! No...

Oh, Mother of Metallica, this hurts!

Hale, get the woman you love out of here.

Please!

[opera singing]

No, please!

[singing]

Oh, Ianka...

[singing]

Ianka... please...

[singing]

Ianka, Ianka, you did it.

Marcus, he's... he's gone.

Look, I will take care of Bamber.

You will be free, I promise. Come on, can you walk?

Ugh! No, you do... you do not understand.

I took life in a weakened state.

I am... no more.

You're going to...

Oh, Ianka, please tell me you didn't sacrifice yourself.

Someone would have always tried to own me.

It is the fate of my people.

Most do not mind, but I do.

I was the only one who could stop it.

I'm gonna call Trick. There's gotta be something that we can do, some kind of potion, or...

In captivity, I heard stories about the unaligned Succubus...

You are what made me believe I could be free.

But I'm not unaligned anymore.

Your heart is what you want it to be.

Right now, my heart is free.

For you... as you wished.

Oh, no... Ianka, no.

[music]

Ugh... Holy high-pitched hangover.

Whoa, whoa, not so fast. There you are.

Ugh. Oh... What happened? Where's Bo?

She'll be fine. Ianka sung a death note. Marcus is dead.

Oh. Good for her.

It would have k*lled her, too.

Oh, Hale... I'm so sorry.

She's finally free.

Yeah.

And you... you're finally here.

I've... always been here.

[music]

Now truth, Ianka's death note, did it hurt you?

No.

Hey, you lie to the Russian stink eye, and bad things will happen to your junk.

Which would now be a particular bummer for me.

This Russian stink eye... it's pretty intense.

You'll get used to it.

[chuckles]

[music]

[music]

[opera singing]

[train whistling]

[opera singing]

Oh, no... no, please... I can't do this.

[music]

Bo?

Don't tell me you don't wear a mask to protect yourself Hm. Yours is especially... chilling.

The higher you climb, the more you realize that you're surrounded by sycophants and assassins.

[laughs]

You're so dramatic.

No, I am realistic in a dramatic world, honey.

You'll see.

You'll get your share of sycophants and assassins too.

Oh yeah? Which one are you?

For now? You can call me a friend.

This is the key to the dark science medical and testing facilities.

It's yours. Full access.

I won't sign anything.

I'm not asking.

You are a brilliant woman. Own it girlfriend.

[music]

I'll never trust you.

I wouldn't respect you if you did.

But do remember, I let you see me eat pizza.

Made I just let you think I'd let any schmo do that?

Here are the keys to your new condo.

Call me if you need anything else.

This was ah... what do they call it?

Fun. Right?

Evony.

Pizza's our secret.

I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful... something.

Still don't trust you.

You don't have to, Dr. Lewis.

You are Team Dark now.

I can taste it.

Ta, darling.

[music]

To... the beginning.

[music]

[sexual grunts and pants]

[music]

Bo... look at me.

[sexual grunts and pants]

Bo... please, look at me.

Don't tell me what to do!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm just uh...

Angry. It's okay.

No one owns you.

You're not going to be like Ianka.

No. I'll become like Marcus.

Bitter, choking on my bottomless rage, thinking of nothing but revenge.

Ianka d*ed to be free, Dyson.

For just a few moments.

And you inspired her to do that.

No, not me. Another Bo.

One that I don't even know.

Whoever that Bo was, she didn't spend a month asleep in limbo.

She was on a train, hatching a plan.

Sending herself clues in the future.

She...

I... joined the dark.

Willingly.

Then I'm sure you had good reason.

Besides, dark... light... these are just labels.

They do not define us.

Looks like I'm not the only one who's changed.

[gasping]

You're hurt.

I don't know. But I am hurting.

He marked me.

Who?

The Wanderer. Rainer.

He might be my father.

[growls]

What the hell is this?!

Mole patrol?

The codex of laws has been infringed upon.

Your rules don't apply to me.

Not you. Him.

Dyson, no!

[growling]