01x10 - Big Time Demos

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Big Time Rush". Aired November 2009 - July 2013.*
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A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
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01x10 - Big Time Demos

Post by bunniefuu »

I can't believe we've been here for three months.

Three glorious, fun-filled months.

Three glorious, fun-filled, sun-filled months.

Let's all look up and think about them now.

[upbeat music]

[bell dinging]

[bear snarling]

[all screaming]

[together] Good times.

And that was just today.

Hey, guys.

I just stopped by to drop off your tickets.

Oh, hockey tickets?

Concert tickets, hm?

Plane tickets.

You guys do know that if your demos don't get picked by the record company tomorrow, you're going back to Minnesota.

[together] What?

♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ Make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪
♪ Want to be famous. ♪

[all speaking excitedly]

We don't want to go home.

We want to stay here...

And get famous.

Yeah, about that...

Too bad!

It's been three months.

The demos are done.

That was the "deal."

Right... What are demos again?

They're the sample songs we've been recording that if the record company likes, then you get to stay here, make a full album, go on tour, and then...

♪ You become famous. ♪

But if they don't pick it, I take over my father's scooter business, and you go back to Minnesota and be nobodies again.

Ah!

But we've worked so hard. We're so close.

You're not so close.

We're almost there?

Halfway there?

You're almost halfway there.

Now, I'm going to go to my office.

Please do not follow me.

How could Griffin not pick Big Time Rush?

He loves us.

Griffin loves all the bands with demos, and there are six of them, but only one gets picked.

And the one that everybody is talking about is Vampirah.

Ah!

Vampire dudes with guitars.

We're toast.

Hey, hey, hey, we are not toast.

What's the one thing we've learned since we've been in L.A.?

That black is the new black.

If you drink cold milk on a hot day, you die.

That every time you leave your house, your toys come alive.

That you don't wait for your dreams to happen.

You make them happen.

Now, how does the winning demo get picked?

That is a highly classified corporate secret that no one will tell me, and it's k*lling me!

Guys, we want this as badly as you do, but all we know is that the winning band is picked by a top-secret adviser very close to Griffin.

[laughs]

Yeah, eww, I just entered this totally ugly office.

Hold on, I'm mini barfing.

[coughs]

I'm here to pick up a CD from Big Time...Whatever.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Mercedes Griffin, as in your boss' daughter.

I'll call you back, Jess.

Livin' large here is about to start groveling.

Hey, ha-ha, I am so, so sorry.

Um, here...

Hey, um, here is the demo.

Um, can I... can I get you a latte or a yacht?

Is this the band?

You guys are hot.

Oh, and you're the secret someone who's close to Griffin who decides the winning demos.

That's right, I make the decisions, and I just decided that...

[whines]

You're my new boyfriend.

Let's go.

What? I don't even...

I don't even know her. I don't even know her.

Help, help, help, help.

This is not right.

How could she pick Kendall over me?

I don't want to go back home.

I'm sorry, honey, but the record company stops paying for this apartment tomorrow, and we can't afford to stay here.

[humming]

Uh, what are you doing?

Well, your lease is up tomorrow, so I'm upgrading to this sweet apartment.

[laughs]

Have a Palmwoods day.

Hey!

Ow!

We still have one day to renew.

Oh, well, in that case, I'll need a three months' deposit now.

Uh...

I didn't think so.

In fact, the only way you could renew is if you got a job here at the Palmwoods, and received our employee discount.

Uh, sorry, no jobs available.

Ow!

Bitters, I can't stand working for you, so I quit.

Huh, looks like there's a job opening for assistant manager.

Uh, but your mom doesn't have any experience, so this place will be mine.

[laughing evilly]

Checkout's at noon.

You need a power suit and an awesome resume.

You heard what he said. I don't have managerial experience.

You haven't seen your resume yet.

What?

Hurry up, new boyfriend.

I heard the Palmwoods'
pool scene is fabtastic.

[breathing heavily]

Do we really need all this stuff just for you to sit by the pool...

Pumpkin?

Froopy can only sit on imported dog bedding, and I always bring my own lounge, so I never have to touch other people's butt sweat.

No more questions.

Ugh, ugh... Ohh-ohh-ohhh.

Hey, big guy, you're doing a great job.

She's horrible.

But if she loves you, then she'll pick our demos, and we get to stay in L.A., and we're almost halfway there.

How could she pick you over me?

Look at this.

Now, here's some subliminal imagery that will help her pick our demos.

Ooh, and some breath spray just in case she goes to kiss you.

Ack, I have to kiss her?

Wait!

We can't let you do this.

Ohhh.

Not without the perfect mood music for your pool date with Mercedes.

♪ Make it count, play it straight ♪

You got this, big guy.

Good luck.

You're doing it.

You're doing it.

He looks great.

♪ what you feel ♪
♪ never quit and make it real ♪

This is relaxing.

Now fan me and make dolphin noises so I feel like I'm in Cabo.

[silently]

♪ listen to your heart now ♪

[imitating dolphin]

Isn't it great being in love, new boyfriend?

You love me too, right?

You hesitated.

Maybe I'll hesitate to choose your demo as the winner.

I heard Vampirah's amazing.

[together] You can't. Whoa-whoa-whoa.

Of course he loves you.

I mean, who... who wouldn't love you... with your hair and your hands and that rat-dog thing?

It's like you really know me.

I'm breaking up with you.

You're my new boyfriend.

Now carry me out like they do in the movies.

Ooh.

Old boyfriend, bring my stuff up later.

Ooh, heh-heh-heh.

My mom would like to apply for the assistant manager position.

Uh, that's right.

Sorry, not qualified.

She was the manager of a five-star hotel in Minnesota for ten years, speaks seven languages, and can go a week without water.

Well, the approval process is very long and must be approved by a regional manager, so...

What's this?

Regional manager Taylor, what are you doing here?

Checking up on you.

[gulps]

Harvard, nice.

You got the job.

But...

Ehh...

She was the ambassador to Japan.

Now, go get her a Palmwoods jacket.

Come on, chop-chop.

Yes, sir.

I didn't manage a hotel back in Minnesota.

I was a waitress.

Oh, please, how hard can it be?

Fine, here's your Palmwoods jacket, and your Palmwoods plunger.

Your first assignment is to unclog the toilet in 3-r.

Chop-chop.

She won't last a day on this job, and that apartment will be all mine.

[laughs evilly]

Ow!

Who threw that?

[upbeat music]

Where are my homemade fresh-baked cookies, new boyfriend?

Coming right up, Pooky.

[screams]

Oh, I got it. I got it.

Ha-ha-ha.

Here you go, sweetums.

It's my grandma's recipe.

Pthew!

These are the worst cookies ever.

Ohh, well, I'm not my grandma.

I'm a hockey player.

Well, maybe that's why these taste like hockey pucks.

[dog barks]

I wonder if Vampirah makes great cookies.

I guess I'll find out when I pick them and not big-time crud!

Ahh! Stop it.

Please, stop. Ow! Ow!

Stop!

[gasping]

This looks weird, right?

Who cares? Get back in there.

Okay, we're close to near to almost being halfway there.

Yeah, go on.

I can't go back.

She hurts me.

Are you talking behind my back with shower people?

No...

Apple blossom.

[all screaming]

You lied to me.

We're finished.

My new boyfriend is...

Him.

Him?

Do you not see this, huh?

Let's go, new boyfriend.

We're gonna dye your hair to match my bag.

No.

So you gonna do the right thing?

No...

I am.

Hold my loofah.

Hey, you're my old boyfriend. Where's my new boyfriend?

He's dumping you...

What?

[together] What?

What?

Because you're spoiled, pushy, mean, and he and me and we would all rather go back to Minnesota than spend one more second pretending to be your boyfriend.

And, man, it felt good to say that.

Well, let me tell you something.

There is no way I'm picking your demos now.

Big time rush is big-time done.
[all screaming]

What?

[all groaning]

So... What do we do now?

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪

You guys can hold your heads high.

Most bands don't even make it almost halfway there.

She's right. I am very, very proud of you guys.

Ahhhh!

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Scooters!

No, I'm not.

And she's probably on her way right now to tell her dad to pick Vampirah.

[all screaming]

Look, I know we haven't all dated that long, but I just wanted to come back to say...

[sighs] I'm sorry.

Yeah, you should be sorry.

How could you pick them over me?

Because I never date anyone prettier than me.

I'm better now.

And Kendall's right.

I'm a rich, spoiled bully who dresses hot and thinks your songs are great.

So you're gonna pick Big Time Rush.

We're halfway there!

[together] Yeah!

Yeah, I don't choose the winning band.

[together] What?

You're not the top-secret music adviser?

See, my dad asked me to pick up the demos because it was on my way, but I let you believe I choose the winning band because you're cute, and...

[sobbing] I love manipulating people.

Oh, there, there, Mercedes.

The boys forgive you.

Now... How do the demos get picked?

Well, first daddy looks at the demos to make sure that the covers are shiny.

From there, the guy with white gloves takes them to an unmarked door at the end of a corridor.

White gloves confirmed.

Finally, he places them on the desk of daddy's top-secret music expert...

Lo-Lo, the million-dollar hit-predicting super chimp.

[chattering]

[together] A monkey picks the demos?

No, a chimp, and if he claps, you're in, but if he makes a fart noise, you're out.

And sometimes I think daddy loves Lo-Lo more than me.

[sobbing]

There, there, Mercedes.

It's okay. Don't cry.

Now, do you have a security card to your dad's building?

Oh, please. What are you guys gonna do?

Chimpnap Lo-Lo and train him to love Big Time Rush?

[chattering]

I was kidding.

But the plan worked perfectly.

[all speaking excitedly]

Don't we have a maintenance man to handle all toilet emergencies?

Yeah, here, I'll take that.

No, I need you to... cut down a tree up on the north hill.

What tree?

Pick one.

My new assistant manager is in charge of all cloggings.

Sweet.

But first, I need you to reorganize all the lease files, disinfect the gym, skim the pool scum, and evict the angry giant from 3-k for not paying his rent.

And if you need me... Don't.

I'll be in my office... Working.

[laughs]

She can so handle that.

What are you doing here?

Moral support.

You think you've won by keeping this job, but you haven't, because you'll be doing all my work for me.

Where are you?

[together] Over here.

And if you quit, I get your apartment, so I can't lose.

[laughing evilly]

Well, moral support done.

I'm off to the pool.

Stop right there, miss
"I want to stay in L.A.,"

and, "my mom was a hotel manager."

Now, according to Pavlov, animals can be trained to associate positive feelings with certain stimuli, such as sight, smells, and...

Big time rush demos.

Exactly.

We're gonna train Lo-Lo to pick the Big Time Rush demos through the positive reinforcement of...

Bananas.

Lo-Lo... Tasty bananas.

Big time rush...

♪ Make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪

More bananas.

♪ when you go big time ♪

More Big Time Rush.

♪ Any kind of guy you want, girl ♪
♪ that's the kind I'll be ♪

He's clapping. It's working.

Halfway there, and here we come.

Even more bananas.

Even more Big Time Rush.

♪ Studded supermodel magazine ♪
♪ You can do it ♪

He's picked up the bananas.

Is that a good sign?

Ahh!

[together] No. No. No.

Ow! No! No!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

[all screaming]

Well, he either really loved that song... or really hated it.

Ahhh!

[knocking]

What?

I'm the new assistant manager, and I'm afraid you're in violation of your lease, so I'm gonna have to ask you to...

[sinister laughter]

You're not a very good assistant manager, are you?

I am doing this for you, and I am an awesome assistant manager.

What are you gonna do?

Because that is one big, scary dude.

[grunting]

Boater Bob.

Huh?

I'm your boss.

Uh...Okay.

So...

Oh, yeah, no problem.

Hmmph!

What the...

[chain saw buzzing]

Are you crazy?

[laughs]

You're crazy!

Ahhhhh!

[screaming maniacally]

Ahhh!

I am out of here.

Darn it!

Hello.

You know, the scooter is the sensible solution for today's high gas prices, pollution, and offers seniors increased mobility, and...

Ahhhhh!

You know, we are not giving up.

We're almost halfway there, and another thing I've learned since coming to L.A. is that together, we can do anything.

Look who I found hitchhiking on the Hollywood freeway.

Yeah, we're done.

I am deeply disappointed in all of you, but I'm also curious.

What happened? Help me out.

It's my fault, daddy.

I lied to them, and I made them be my boyfriends, and then I ate terrible cookies, and then I cried, and then I helped them chimpnap Lo-Lo, and... I love you.

Is that true?

Because she lies... A lot.

It's all of our faults.

We really want to stay here in L.A. and make an album...

And a tour..

And be famous...

But we may have gone a little too far.

Sorry?

Those are a lot of sentences containing words, containing letters, and I admire your passion and dedication, but it doesn't change the fact that Lo-Lo picks which demos win.

So what do you say, Lo-Lo?

Do you like Big Time Rush?

[intense music]

Thbbbt!

Oooh, the fart noise.

Sorry, boys, Vampirah wins.

Lo-Lo's wrong, daddy.

The vampire fad has one, two years left, max.

These guys' songs have infectious melodies, classic pop hooks, And Big Time Rush will crush the
6- to 16-year-old demographic, which is your core music-buying base.

Wow.

Lo-Lo, I'm transferring you to m*ssile defense.

Mercedes, you're my new hit-predicting adviser, and this way, we'll get to spend more time together.

Big time rush wins!

[all screaming]

Anything else for my princess?

Well, I never really got a chance to date Logan.

Logan, you're Mercedes' new boyfriend.

Ah-ah!

Now get to work.

We need some new songs for the Big Time Rush album.

I've already got one.

Move out.

[together] Whoo!

[upbeat music]

♪ When the chips are down, ♪
♪ back against the wall, ♪
♪ got no more to give, ♪
♪ 'cause we gave it all, ♪
♪ seems like going the distance is unrealistic, ♪
♪ but we're too far from the start, ♪
♪ so we take what comes and we keep on going ♪
♪ leaning on each other's shoulders ♪
♪ then we turn around, ♪
♪ and see we've come so far somehow. ♪

[together] # We're halfway there, #

♪ we're looking good now, ♪
♪ and nothing's gonna get in the way, ♪
♪ we're halfway there and looking back now, ♪
♪ I never thought that I'd ever say, ♪
♪ we're halfway there. ♪
♪ If we never flew we would never fall, ♪
♪ if the world was ours, we would have it all, ♪
♪ but the life we live isn't so simplistic, ♪
♪ you just don't get what you want. ♪
♪ So we take what comes and we keep on going ♪
♪ leaning on each other's shoulders, ♪
♪ then we turn around, ♪
♪ and see we've come so far somehow. ♪

[together] # We're halfway there, #

♪ we're looking good now, ♪
♪ and nothing's gonna get in the way, ♪
♪ we're halfway there and looking back now, ♪
♪ I never thought that I'd ever say. ♪
♪ We're halfway there. ♪
♪ Oh, we're halfway there. ♪
♪Halfway there. ♪
♪ We're halfway there. ♪
♪ Oh, we're halfway there. ♪
♪ Yeah, we're halfway there. ♪

Whoo!

I like it.

Whoo!

Fine, you get to stay in your apartment.

Both: Yes!

But you still have to do everything I say, because I'm your boss, and I will make every day here for you at the Palmwoods worse than the last.

I need to renew the lease for 2-j.

We're gonna make a full album...

And probably a concert tour...

And be famous.

I quit, and I gave boater Bob the rest of the day off.

What room?

3-b, and it's bad.

Whoa.

Well, I guess we're not going home.

Actually, mom, I think we are home.

Race you to the pool.

Oh, yeah, right.

[all speaking excitedly]
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