01x16 - Big Time Sparks

[bunniefuu]

Hey, do you guys want to know dag zevon's secret to perfect toast?

No.

It's all in this month's pop tiger.

What I want to know is, we've been in L.A. for six months.

When are we gonna meet some totally cool and hot celebrity, like jordin sparks?

Excuse me.

I'm looking for Mr. bitters.

That's you!

Ahhh, miss sparks, back for famous palmwoods two stars service?

Actually, I'm herefor the famous good luck.

Whenever I throw a penny into the palmwoods wishing well, my songs have always become hits.

Ah, that germ-infested sink hole.

I mean, yes.

The place where a wish can make your dreams come true.

Here's your keycard.

Can I help you with any thing else?

Yes, can you keep a look out for the paparazzi?

They're always trying to get embarrassing photos of me.

Don't worry. You can count on me.

Jordin, jordin!

Jordin, jordin, jordin!

We just wanted to say welcome to the palmwoods.

We're big time rush.

We're recording at rocque records.

What are you doing here?

Recording, at rocque records.

♪ yeah, I'm about to give you my heart ♪
♪ so rememberthis one thing ♪
♪ I never been in love before ♪
♪ yeah, you got to go easy on me ♪

best song ever! So good!

Really?'Cause I'm not sure I'm feeling it yet.

Jordin, jordin.

Don't worry about the song, okay?

Just take a little more time with it, and give me some time to fill in the chorus and add some layers.

This song is gonna be a big hit.

It's gonna be great.

Dogs, I got a big present for you in my office.

I love presents!

Go, go! Come on!

Freight train's squeezing us.

This is our big present?

Yes, because I want you nowhere near jordin sparks.

What? Why?

Because you're bad luck and destroy everything you touch.

Jordin and her team picked me to produce her new song over every producer in this town.

'Cause word on the street is, Gustavo rocque is back.

Now, jordin is staying at the palmwoods, which means, if she is by the pool, I want bad luck rush to be in the lobby!

Bad luck rush? He's wrong.

Yeah, we're more like good luck charms.

In fact, the best luck jordin could have is spending her entire day with me.

I mean, us.

You broke a mirror.

That's seven years bad luck.

That's ridiculous.

Heads up!

Sorry.

Guys, we're not bad luck.

And don't let Gustavo get to you.

Just enjoy the day, like I'm gonna enjoy my day with Jo by the pool.

No!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Gustavo said don't go to the pool if jordin's there.

Oh, look. She's leaving.

Jordin sparks wiping out on a banana peel, tabloid gold.

Darn it!

Thanks.

It was a lucky catch.

Uh, Kendall?

Jo.

This isn't what it looks like.

Really? 'Cause it looks like you're embracing jordin sparks.

It does look that way, doesn't it?

Broken mirror, banana peel, potentially jealous girlfriend.

This place is full of bad luck.

We can't avoid jordin.

We have to protect her.

It looks like a job for the good luck patrol.

Lucky!

Gustavo is so lucky he has us.

Copy that.

Somebody sent you a big present.

Ah, must be one of my colleagues congratulating me on landing the new jordin sparks song.

Skunk!

Who sends a skunk as a present?

The same person that stole my lead singer from boyquake, h*jacked all my best musicians, and gave me an atomic wedgie at the '92 v.M.A.S.

Gustavo! Congratulations on landing the new jordin sparks song.

I take it you got my present.

Hawk, I will destroy you, because you are a big, giant stupid face!

You can't destroy me, because you are a big doodie face.

And once jordin realizes that rocque records literally stinks, she'll come to hawk records to record it where she belongs.

Call an exterminator.

I did.

But the soonest one can be here is tomorrow, sometime between 10:00 and next April.

Fine.

Then we get rid of it ourselves.

Right. How do you get rid of a skunk?

I don't know!

Lucky charm, this is rabbit's foot.

What's your 20? I'm right next to you. Over.

Copy that.

I want no part of this.

Sir, have you seen jordin?

No. And that's the way I want it.

Jo thinks I have a thing for jordin.

But she'll change her mind when she sees the nice, girly, romantic lunch I made for her.

Jordin's on the move.

We have a black cat about to cross her path.

Repeat, a black cat.

Hey, jordin.

What's up?

'Sup? Working on the song.

You go do that.

Bad luck avoided by the good luck patrol.

Lucky!

Okay, now to dispose of the black cat.

Celebrity catfight.

Perfect.

Thanks again, Kendall.

Oh, so now you're having a girly, romantic lunch with jordin.

No, no. It's not what it looks like.

You know, I'm not sure the palmwoods is as lucky as I remember.

Tell me about it.

How long do I have to keep doing this?

Seven years.

Look, I need to counter my mirror-breaking bad luck with good luck.

Now, keep dancing!

And help me find a four-leaf clover.

Look, there's one!

Sneaky leprechaun!

It's easy. All we have to do is get skunkie back in his box and out of my studio.

And we agree, the glue traps don't work.

What? Gustavo!

Here at hawk records, I have a full-time pest control department.

So why don't you send jordin over here to record her song?

And then I'll send my guy to get Mr. skunkie.

I will catch the skunk, hawk, record a monster hit with jordin, and then I'll get you back.

You're covered in glue traps, aren't you?

Curse you, hawk!

Oh, come on! Oh!

Okay, wishing well, I'm recording a new song today, and I need some good luck.

Target is safe. No bad luck in sight.

Wishing Wells are nothing but good luck.

What are you doing?

I'm looking for four-leaf clovers.

What are you doing?

Setting up another date with Jo.

Hey, nothing can go wrong when you play horseshoes, right?

Give me that horseshoe.

No, it's for my date with Jo!

Let me-- I broke a mirror!

Seven years, man!

No, stop!

Upside-down horseshoe!

It's bad luck!

Move out!

Drop the horseshoe!

Drop it! - I want it!

Maybe we are bad luck.

Yeah.

We knocked jordin sparks down a well.

Nobody panic.

I'm sure that jordin is fine.

I wish that jordin is okay.

Oh, she's okay.

Guys, is that you?

Uh, don't worry, jordin. You can count on us.

How you doing? You good?

I'm in a well!

Right. That's--yeah.

We have to call the fire department.

We can't call anyone, or Gustavo will find out and k*ll us.

And think we're bad luck.

We are!

Jordin!

Everything's fine. We got a plan.

Guys, what's the plan?

We're going to rescue her.

Now, which one of the good luck patrol is going down the hole?

Good luck, Kendall.

Yeah. Just lower me down.

I'll put the rope around jordin, and then you pull us both up.

A four-leaf clover.

Oh, hey, jordin.

What's up? What's up?

I got a song I can't figure out.

I slipped on a banana peel.

I got att*cked by a cat.

And again, I'm in a well!

Hey, guys. Has anyone seen Kendall?

Who's Kendall? - No.

He's not in the well.

Kendall? Is that you? And jordin?

It's not what it looks like.

If that skunk sprays, jordin will think rocque records stinks and go to hawk.

Don't panic.

Hawk may have a full-time exterminator, but I have a full-time freight train with the latest in skunk-hunting technologies.

Did someone need help catching a skunk?

A skunk puppet?

A girl skunk puppet.

Yes, and you are gonna work it, because freight train's girly voice is horrible.

Now, you lure him out, and we're gonna throw the box over him.

Come here, skunkie.

Ooh, tell him you got some great kibble back at your tree trunk.

Don't push it.

Come here, skunkie.

It's working. Come on.

Just a little further.

He sees us.

Abort mission!

Jordin, I'm sure Logan, aka the big-time brain, is concocting an amazing rescue plan as we speak.

What plan was that?

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.

I was measuring the diameter of the well to fashion a crude pulley system when I slipped.

Don't worry, jordin.

James and I are on the case!

You can count on us.

We're gonna be here awhile.

Now, we pour some yeast and flour into the hole and bake it at 400 degrees until everybody rises.

No!

Or we could toss down some pool noodles, fill the hole with water, and they'll float to the top.

Wait, did you just come up with an ingenious water displacement plan?

Ah, yeah.

Go, go.

James, catch the hose.

Millions of lucky pennies! I'm saved!

What have I done? All my friends are all trapped in a well.

There's only one thing to do.

What did you do that for?

I was lonely!

Well, it looks like you may not make your recording session.

It's okay.

I couldn't figure out the song, anyway.

I didn't think the song was bad.

How did it go again?

♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪

yeah, yeah, oh, and add some layers to it.

Try it again.

♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ ooh, yeah, yeah ♪

and harmonies.

♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ ooh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ yeah ♪

guys, you just helped me figure out the song. Now you got to get me out of here.

Well, there's only one guy I know that can pull five people out of a well.

Okay, L.A. skunks love two things: Hot ladies and hot cars.

Now, that lady skunk drives over to Mr. skunkie, who hops in, thinking that they're going to a dance club or to make out point.

Then I drive them out of here and into the street, and-

hello? It's Kendall.

He said they knocked jordin sparks down a well and need me to get them out.

Don't scare him, or he'll spray.

Get the dogs here so I can k*ll them and then record jordin's song.

Oh, look.

Hey, it looks like Gustavo rocque's luck is finally changing.

Why--wait. Why--why isn't it turning? Why isn't it-- why isn't it turning?

I think we're out of range.

What? Uh-uh.

Oh. Oh, he looks angry.

He's coming right for us!

Oh, thanks, freight train.

That hurt, though.

Jordin sparks pulled out of a well tied to four losers.

I'll be rich.

No, no, no, no, no!

00hey, guys. Gustavo isn't happy.

He knows about the well, and he has a skunk in his studio that he can't get rid of.

Gustavo can't get rid of a skunk?

Why doesn't he just spray us and get it over with?

Here's your skunk.

How did you do that?

We catch stuff all the time in Minnesota.

Yeah, what did you use as bait, a lady skunk puppet?

What? No.

In light of recent skunky events, I have decided not to k*ll you.

However, you blatantly disregarded my orders to stay away from jordin sparks and proved once again you are bad luck rush.

Gustavo, they're not bad luck. They're good luck.

Um, they knocked you down a well.

Yeah, but if I hadn't fallen down the well, I would have never figured out the song.

They helped you figure out the song?

Yeah, it's not a solo.

It's a duet.

Duet? Duet with big time rush.

That is the most greatest idea I've ever had.

♪ now, I'm about to give you my heart ♪
♪ but remember this one thing ♪
♪ I never been in love before ♪
♪ so you got to go easy on me ♪
♪ I heard love is dangerous ♪
♪ and once you fall, you never get enough ♪
♪ but the thought of you leaving ♪
♪ ain't so easy for me ♪
♪ don't hurt me ♪
♪ desert me ♪
♪ make me sorry I ever counted on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ understand, I've been here before ♪
♪ thought I found someone I finally could adore ♪
♪ but she failed my test ♪
♪ got to know her better ♪
♪ saw I wasn't the only one ♪
♪ but I'm willing to put my trust in you ♪
♪ baby, you could put your trust in me ♪
♪ just like you count to three ♪
♪ you can count on me ♪
♪ and you're never gonna see ♪
♪ no numbers in my pocket ♪
♪ no ♪
♪ anything I'm doing, girl ♪
♪ I'd change it for you ♪
♪ 'cause you're the one I'm giving my heart to ♪
♪ but I got to be the only one ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ hey, yeah ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ baby, I'm counting on you ♪
♪ one, two, three, four, to the five ♪
♪ I'm about to give you my heart ♪
♪ so remember this one thing ♪
♪ I never been in love before ♪
♪ yeah, you got to go easy on me ♪
♪ yeah ♪

Gustavo, that was awesome!

So awesome, in fact, that I'm teaming you up for one more project.

Hawk records. Hawk speaking.

Hey, hawk, it's jordin.

You are right, rocque records stinks.

I want to record my song with you instead.

Hawk's on his way.

Get me to rocque records. I b*at Gustavo again. Yes!

No, no, no-no!

You know, since the boys came to town, you've gotten a record contract, an album deal, produced a song with jordin sparks and you just b*at hawk.

Fine. But don't tell them they're my good luck charms.

They'll just mess it up.

Why do I always have to carry your bags?

'Cause you're my brother.

Thanks, P.J.

And you guys, good luck on your album.

Lucky!

'Cause I could use a really great opening act in concert.

Okay, James. You can let go.

James? James, let go.

James!

And I hope you and Jo work things out.

Don't worry about it. We'll be fine.

Unbelievable.

Wait, here. Try these.

Jo! It's not what it looks like!