02x01 - Welcome Back, Big Time

[bunniefuu]

♪ rollin' past graffiti walls ♪
♪ billboards lighting up the block ♪

# every one of us on a mission #

# oh, yeah #

Kendall tell me, how was your first tour?

It's awesome.

We love performing so close to our fans.

Oh, and I love performing so close to the food ***

♪ because the night is young ♪
♪ the line is out the door ♪
♪ today was crazy but ♪

# tonight the city's ours #

# live it up#

♪ until the morning comes ♪
♪ today was crazy but ♪
♪ tonight ♪

***

*** by Big Time Crush.

Rush.

Right.

Aargh.

*** autograph pig.

Wait, Tallulah!

♪ today was crazy ♪
♪ but tonight the city is ours ♪
♪ live it up until the morning comes ♪
♪ today was crazy ♪
♪ but tonight the city is ours ♪

[tires squeal]

[boys cheering]

Oh, yeah!

Oh, there's no place like home!

Yeah!

Hey!

Big Time Rush is back!

[cheering]

Huh? Who are all these people?

It's fall, and all the new kids with new dreams have arrived.

Whoo.

Welcome back!

You've missed three weeks of school.

You're behind on your book reports, all your math homework, your science projects.

Okay.

And they're all due... tomorrow.

[screams]

Guys, guys, chillax.

The tour is over.

We're back at the Palmwoods, and everything is gonna be cool.

If you think you can steal me from my old boyfriend, you're right.

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪

Well, the quiet was nice, but I did miss my boys.

[gasps and squeals]

And I missed your home cooking!

How can you be happy?

Look at all the work we have to do by tomorrow.

I am impressed, though.

I figured you'd be all freaked out and yelly.

Oh, you mean like this?

This time we're gonna announce our presence with more authority.

Nobody even said hi.

We are popular here, okay?

Now, who's with me?

I'm in!

We need to reestablish our Palmwoods cred with the new kids.

We need to finish these projects.

See this blank science display board right here?

It's blank!

Hey, has anyone even noticed Kendall might be dead?

I'm freakin' out!

Honey, I have always liked Jo, and this does not sound like her.

And if you want to be in a relationship with someone, trust is number one.

Now go find her, be open with her, and just ask her what's going on.

And... if something is going on, I always hated her.

[screams]

Where is he?

Okay, no, Camille. Please, not now.

I have a lot of work to do, and I'm freaked.

[screams]

Finally, someone around here that knows us!

Well, I'm not sure about this new town, but I am sure glad I met you.

No.

I told you. It's... it's wrong.

See, she still has the hots for you.

But it's so right.

Then again, you were gone for six weeks, and that guy is way better looking than you.

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What is this?

How could you?

Who's the dude?

Girl supposed to kiss me boy!

Back off.

I, uh, you...

This is a scene from my script.

I could, because I got a lead role in the new CW show New Town High.

The dude is my costar, Jett Stetson, who plays my love interest in the show, and I was gonna surprise you with the news when you got back, but you're back, so...

Surprise.

Okay.

That explains it.

Were you spying on us?

No.

Kendall. Hi, I'm Jett.

I'm Katie. I manage hot talent for TV and movies.

I'm also a modeling agent and available for limited dating in six years.

Wait for me.

Oh, look at the time.

Uh, Jo, we're gonna be late for that photo sh**t.

Oh, right.

Do you want to come, to make sure that nothing's going on?

No. I trust you.

I trust her, right?

I wouldn't, 'cause that guy is way better looking than you.

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪

# when you go big time #

How long has it been?

30 seconds.

And nobody has come over to say "hi" or "hey"

or, "we're new to the Palmwoods, and we heard you guys rule the pool."

Or these kids have been here for six weeks while you were on tour.

So to them, you're the new guys.

Yeah, see those guys over there investigating that stain?

They are of the new stars of teen NCSI, and they are always in character.

Yeah... ah!

And say hello to Lil' Lee Roth.

He's single-handedly bringing back the hair band.

No matter how big they are, they should know us and want to hang with us.

We're Big Time Rush! We autographed a pig!

Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't hang out with you guys until I found out how crazy you are with your fire pit jams and parties and general youthful antics.

That's it.

I know what to do.

[yells]

Whoo-hoo!

[laughter]

Did it work?

Well, you got their attention. But now they hate you.

[all yelling angrily]

Sorry.

Come on, miss Collins.

We can't get all this work done by tomorrow.

Well, I could give you an extension, but aspa rules state that you cannot perform until all your assignments are complete with at least a c-plus average.

Whoa, whoa.

Nobody informed me of this.

Yes, I did.

I sent all the information, emailed all the assignments, and was told everything was being taken care of.

Really, by who?

Are you nuts?

I didn't tell the boys about school because I needed them to focus on the tour, and I didn't tell you because you would just yell at me, like you did just there.

Yeah, but if they don't get all of their schoolwork done by tomorrow, they can't work.

Yeah, no rehearsals, no recordings, no concerts.

And who cares?

I need a break from you dogs.

So take your time and do your homework, because the tour is over.

Swell news, everyone.

The tour is not over.

Because tomorrow, Big Time Rush is playing k- blast's famous Rocktoberfest.

You got Big Time Rush on k -blast's Rocktoberfest?

How?

With a little wheeling, a little dealing, and poison.

Now, why do Kelly and Logan look worried?

No, they are not worried!

They just can't believe that rocktober is already here!

Hurray!

I love rocktober!

Hurray!

Good, and don't let me down.

Remember, big time rush, rocktober, poison.

Oh, no!

What are we gonna do?

It's hard to tell how long the bodies have been laying there.

They're cold... real cold.

We've been here for almost a year, Which is longer than you guys.

Yeah, and we're cold because you new kids took all of our chairs and towels.

Well, then, I guess this case is all... wrapped up.

Happens every year.

The newbies arrive full of dreams to take over the town.

And try to steal your pool cred.

Both: We're listening.

You've got to nip it in the bud.

Congratulations.

You convinced your parents to move you to Hollywood.

And now you're ready to move this town with your talent in acting, singing, or whatever.

Now move your butts off our table, go back to where you came from, because you peaked at homecoming queen.

[all crying and shrieking]

All: See?

Yeah, but that was kind of mean.

Hey, if you want to rule this pool...

You got to do it with an iron fist.

I don't like making people cry.

Me neither.

[groans]

Shouldn't you be upstairs working on your science project?

I'm doing research.

Your project is on Jett Stetson?

He's dated every one of his costars.

That's not the worst of it.

Page 13, Jo plays Rachel, and Jett is Drake.

They kiss?

Keep reading.

For five pages?

Yeah, the photo sh**t went great, and we're sh**ting the kissing scene tonight.

I should probably warm up my lips.

I want this scene to be hot.

[moaning]

Mm!

By the way, I'm way better looking than you.

All right, three weeks of Palmwoods schoolwork a done.

Uh, one problem.

We didn't do it.

Yeah, well, do you see James, Carlos, or Kendall anywhere?

And how are we going to explain to miss Collins we got three weeks of schoolwork done in two hours?

We'll tell her it was a rocktober miracle.

And she will believe me because she is stupid.

He made me do it.

Mr. Rocque, I encourage students to help each other with difficult assignments, but I do not accept Internet purchased science projects, rented book reports.

And how did you get this math done so fast?

We hired some nerds from Caltech.

Perhaps two tickets to Rocktoberfest will change your mind.

They won't.

Ah, gosh!

And if you want the boys to perform at Rocktoberfest, their work is due tomorrow... and must average a c-plus.

Logan has to do the projects.

What?

The other guys are awol, and miss Collins "encourages" students to help each other.

It's impossible.

900 years ago, the pilgrims came to this great land of ours in search of freedom, the freedom to rock!

The pilgrims came seeking religious freedom.

These are different pilgrims!

And today we celebrate the bravery of those headbanging pioneers for one month, Rocktober.

Now, are you gonna sit there and give up?

Or are you gonna grab a number two pencil, strap on your thinking cap, and save rocktober?

I'll need report covers, a glue stick, a protractor, green glitter number three, and 19 high-energy sports drinks.

Yes!

So you read the script.

He dates every one of his costars.

I don't like him. I like you.

Yeah...

Hey, I trusted you those weeks you were gone.

And you've got girls holding up "I heart Kendall" signs.

But I didn't kiss them.

And I'm not kissing Jett.

My character Rachel is kissing Drake.

Come to the set.

You'll see the whole thing is totally professional and doesn't mean a thing.

Fine, I'll go.

Because I am totally professional too.

It's Rachel making out with Drake, not you and Jett.

Easy.

Could you stop that, please?

Okay, what's the plan again?

You play halfway there.

Then we all sing.

And then everyone joins in for one of our famous fire pit jam sessions.

They love you, and you rule the pool again.

Both: Shpingo!

Now play!

One, two.

One, two...

[lively rock music]

Whoo!

All: Lil' Lee Roth is rocking the pool!

Yeah... ah!

He does that every day.

That's it. We got to throw a party.

And we got to get unitards.

Don't do that.

There's something weird about this town.

They don't want us here.

But I want to be here with you.

[coughs]

Cut!

I'm sorry.

[bell rings]

New town high, make out scene, take two.

Action!

But I want to be here with you.

Clank!

Ow!

Cut!

[bell rings]

Sorry. My bad.

Make out scene, take 25.

Action.

[air horn blasts]

Cut!

Oh.

This isn't root beer.

Sorry, I'm sorry!

A mistake! It was a mistake!

No! No! I promise I'll be quiet!

[bell rings]

But I want to be here with you.

Ah...

Nobody is that good an actress.

Nobody can hold their breath that long!

5.87 greater than... sports drink!

Whoo!

14.7, 23 pi.

Science station!

[all yelling]

Can a watermelon power a device to make perfect toast?

It didn't make toast.

Exactly. That was my hypothesis.

Watermelons can't make toast.

That is a horrible science project.

I'm only going for a c -plus.

Book report!

Turn.

Shouldn't the other guys be doing some of the work?

Oh, don't worry. They will.

Turn!

I think dating in Hollywood is a little more complicated than in Minnesota.

There is nothing going on between me and Jett.

And I believe you.

I swear.

Good.

Then I'm gonna put my stuff down, go get us both a soda, and then you can tell me all about the tour.

[phone chirps]

"I feel the same way about you."

Trust is number one.

Nobody is that good an actress.

That guy is way better looking than you.

What are you guys doing here?

I work here.

I'm heading to the gym.

Moral support.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Is that my phone?

"I feel the same way about you."

What does Jett feel the same way about?

Jett: "wow, what a great day on set!"

Jo: "I know.

B.T.W., you are a really gifted actor."

Jett: "I feel the same way about you."

And that's exactly what I thought.

Can we just forget all of this ever happened?

I think you should just forget about me.

Ooh, tough break, buddy.

We'll find you a new girlfriend...

At our welcome back big-time...

Both: Party!

Ooh-ooh!

By now, the noobs know about bitters' no-party rule.

But that never stopped Big Time Rush, and that's why everyone's gonna come to our...

Great. You got here fast.

Hey, everybody, delivery guys are here.

Whoo! Party!

Oh, yeah.

Looks like rocktober came early this year.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Boopity-boppity! Beepity-bop!

Yeah-ah!

[lively dance music]

I am so sad.

[yelling]

[coughs]

Write 25 over 63.

Write c-a-r-l-o-s here.

Pour this... [coughs]

on that.

"Does bleach effect plant growth?"

Both: We just need a c-plus!

Just do it!

[school bell rings]

Kendall knight.

C- plus.

Yes! Yes!

James diamond. C -plus.

Yeah! Yes!

Carlos Garcia.

[Zap!]

"b."

Ha!

I'm smarter than you.

Logan Mitchell.

"c."

[all whimpering]

Plus.

Yes!

Rocktoberfest, here we come!

All: Are you guys playing at Rocktoberfest?

Yeah, we're one of the bands.

Can you get us tickets?

Come on!

[all shouting]

You can all watch from the V.I.P. area thanks to Big Time Rush.

[cheering]

Oh, you know they just love us for our tickets.

Both: We're okay with that.

Ooh-ooh!

Hey. It's me.

I'm sorry.

I can't forget about you.

I'm gonna leave you a ticket to Rocktoberfest.

If you come, then I know you'll give me another chance, but if you don't, then I know it's over.

[phone beeps]

Hey, I was thinking, after we're done sh**ting the scene today, maybe you and I could go see a movie or something.

What do you think?

Are you ready for rocktober?

[cheers and applause]

Oh, it really is a rocktober miracle.

The entire Palmwoods is here, old and new.

Except...

Sorry, buddy.

Okay, we're gonna perform four songs, and we're gonna start with the city is ours.

I want to do the new one.

Really? I don't think that we've rehearsed that one enough.

Just trust me.

[together] He's got this.

♪ get a call on a random afternoon ♪
♪ I pick it up ♪
♪ and I see that it's you ♪
♪ like my heart ♪
♪ you were breaking the news ♪
♪ you say, it's over ♪
♪ it's over ♪
♪ it's over ♪
♪ and now 'cause I'm out of my mind ♪
♪ all my friends are gonna see me tonight ♪
♪ staying here till the sun starts to rise ♪
♪ and I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ♪

All: # dance hard, laugh more #

♪ turn the music up now ♪
♪ party like a rock star ♪
♪ can I get a what now? ♪
♪ I swear I'll do anything that I have to ♪
♪ till I forget about you ♪
♪ jump up, fall down ♪
♪ gotta play it loud now ♪
♪ don't care ♪
♪ my head's spinning all around now ♪
♪ I swear I'll do anything that I have to ♪
♪ till I forget about you ♪

[upbeat pop music]

♪ dance hard, laugh more ♪
♪ turn the music up now ♪
♪ party like a rock star ♪
♪ can I get a what now? ♪

This is going to be the best rocktober ever.

All: # anything that I have to #

♪ till I forget about you ♪
♪ jump up, fall down ♪
♪ gotta play it loud now ♪
♪ don't care ♪
♪ my head's spinning all around now ♪
♪ I swear I'll do anything that I have to ♪
♪ I can't forget about you ♪