02X03 - Ice Cream for Ke$ha

[bunniefuu]

Cat? Cat, come on.

You can't be mad at me over something I did in your dream.

It's what you didn't do.

Well, will you at least tell me what I didn't do?

Fine!

These little kids were trying to eat us, and you wouldn't even try to help me.

You were just crying and yelling, "no! No!

Don't eat me! Eat her, eat her!"

Well, I'm sorry.

And if a bunch of little kids ever really do try to eat us, I promise to... well, why shouldn't they eat you first?

Robbie!

I wanna live!

There's things I've never tried.

Things I really, really, really wanna do.

What do you really, really, really wanna do?

Ride a pony, take a cooking class, other things.

Just ice cream?

Uh-huh.

That's what you're gonna eat for lunch?

Nope.

It's been in my locker all day, so I'm gonna drink it.

Why?

'Cause I wanna meet ke$ha.

Oh, dang it!

Ke$ha's not in there?

No. I got another stupid k.

Oh, is this about that contest?

What?

Ke$ha's doing this thing with lichterz ice cream.

See, there's a letter at the bottom of every pint.

You need to get a k, an e, an s, an h or an a.

And if you find the letters that spell ke$ha, you win a private concert.

From ke$ha?

Yep.

But so far this week, I've eaten 11 pints of ice cream.

And all I've gotten are 11 ks.

Ha!

Robbie let a bunch of little kids eat me.

It's not my fault if dream children find you delicious!

Hey, trina.

I don't talk to you.

Hey, Tori. I need your opinion.

On?

All right.

Let's say a person made a deal with someone.

What kinda deal?

You know, like they'd promise to do something.

Should that person have to keep their word?

Yeah. A deal's a deal.

Even if it was like 10 years ago?

Yes.

You have to keep your word no matter how long ago it was.

I'm so glad you feel that way
'cause maybe you remember this.

From when you were six and I was seven.

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God. I remember this.

Just read it.

Oh, okay.

"When I, Tori Vega, "am 16
years old, "I will be married "to a handsome prince, "and we shall live.

In a magic sugar castle."

That didn't happen.

I know that didn't happen.

Yeah.

And read what you said you'd do if it didn't happen.

"I will be trina's assistant "and do whatever she says.

For a whole month."

That's right.

So?

I wrote this when I was six.

Yeah.

And who was it who said, "you have to keep your word.

No matter how long ago it was"?

Martin Luther king!

No.

Martin Luther king gave the speech about havin' a dream.

I had a dream.

Kids ate me.

Don't worry, Tori.

I'm not gonna be unreasonable.

Will you guys tell her she's being ridiculous?

Well, you did make a deal.

And you did say a person should keep her word.

Thank you, Tori's friends.

Yeah.

Well, here's a list of things you need to do for me.

But I don't... I'll have another list for you in the morning.

Boo-bye!

I have to pluck her toe hair?

Here I am once again feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it would come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right

'cause you know that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine Hey, look at me.

Why? What are you gonna... yeah! Six for six!

And how is this fun for me?

You get to be the target, which means... Tori! Tori!

What?

I want something.

How can I assist you?

I don't like this song.

I need you to change it.

Your phone is right next to you.

Yeah, but I have a Pickle in this hand.

And a lip gloss in this one.

Now, change the song.

Put on some ke$ha.

Maybe that'll give my ice cream some luck.

You want some ke$ha?

Who puts ketchup a a Pickle?

Ke$ha!

Oh, yeah. Play a ke$ha song.

Good. Now, go.

How am I gonna be her assistant for a month.

Without ripping her head off?

Oh! Yeah, baby.

Ahh! You got an "a!"

Yeah, I did.

Good.

So now you have k and "a?"

Yep.

All I need is a e-s-h and I get a private concert from ke$ha.

You just need esh.

I need esh real bad.

Tori!

Tori!

Yes, how can I assist you?

Oh, I love this song.

Put it on loop.

Hey.

Why'd you k*ll my volume?

You love ke$ha?

Yeah, so?

If I can get ke$ha to give you a private concert.

Right here in this house, then can I stop being your assistant?

Sure.

But since you can't make that happen, put the song on loop.

Then scurry off.

Okay.

Whoa! Now, it's fun.

You like that?

More.

Andre sh*t my nose! Hahaha! Now... must find letters to spell Ke$ha! More.

Andre sh*t my nose! Hahaha! Now... must find letters to spell Ke$ha!

Feeling: Wild.

K.

K.

"A."

K.

"A."

Okay, we're never gonna spell ke$ha.

Why are there so many ks and as?

I don't know, but we'd be doing great if we were trying to win.

A private concert from aka-aka-aka-ak.

I guess they gotta make some letters hard to find.

Or everyone could win.

Well, I'm sick of this.

Ice cream reminds me of my childhood.

You don't have a happy childhood?

My favorite toy was a hammer.

You finish the puzzle.

You know, you don't have to help.

What?

But if we win and ke$ha does do a private concert here, only the people who helped find the letters get to come.

Only the people who helped find the letters get to come.

I don't talk like that.

Ah! E! I got an e.

Yeah!

Hurray!

Okay, okay, let's put it on the thing.

Yeah!

Ooh.

Actually... ice cream on hand.

... Sticky.

Hey, where ya goin'?

I don't think we should waste all this ice cream, so I'm gonna take it down to that playground on the corner.

And give it to some little kids.

I don't know how kids'
mothers are gonna feel.

About a strange guy handing out... let him do it.

You're a terrible influence.

Just let him do it, just let him do it.

Good luck.

Okay, people.

We find an s and an h and we got us a private ke$ha concert.

And my freedom from trina.

All right.

Whatever.

K.

"A."

"A."

K.

"A."

K.

K.

"A."

K.

K.

Okay, this is actually causing me pain and not the good kind.

All we need is an s and an h.

Is that so much to ask?

I'm out of ice cream.

Me too.

Beck will be back with more soon.

Robbie, what happened?

I went to the playground.

I got off my bike and I yelled, "hey, kids.

Who wants some free ice cream?"

And then their mothers chased me into an alley.

And b*at me with sticks.

Sticks?

One big mom stepped on my neck.

You gotta love big moms.

Hey.

Where's the ice cream?

Yeah.

Didn't you get some more?

Nope.

Check ke$ha's last update.

Congrats to the dude in northridge who found all the letters.

And spelled out ke$ha.

Thanks for playing.

Ke$ha later.

Contest over.

Great.

I spent nine hours of my life violating pints of ice cream.

For nothing.

Well, I got stick-b*at by vicious mothers.

I hate everything.

Don't be sad.

I am sad.

'Cause I didn't marry a prince, and I don't live.

In a magic sugar castle, and now, we can't win.

The ke$ha concert, which means that I gotta keep.

Being trina's stupid assistant for 28 more days!

That's so sad.

Come on, it's okay.

Maybe, maybe trina will just forget about it.

Oh, oh, yeah. There you go.

Get the scalp! Oh.

Tissue.

Check the color.

Why?

The doctor says if it's a greenish yellow color, then I should probably start to think about taking some antibi...

Oh, what are you doing?

Tori, you're pushing. Tori! Usicc ooh, you don't look happy.

I'm not.

Yay.

Trina giving you a rough time?

Yes.

Do you know she sleep-sweats?

Sleep-sweats?

Yeah, she made me go into her room last night.

Every two hours, with a sponge, lift her arms, and then I had to... Tori! Hey, answer my phone.

I don't wanna.

Hey, you're her assistant, so do what she says.

Thank you, Jade.

Never touch me.

Why can't you answer your own phone?

It's that guy, Lendle, he keeps calling me.

Just answer it!

Hello? No, I'm sorry.

Trina's... dead. Oh, no!

Say I moved to Canada.

Uh, she moved to Canada, then d*ed.

Yeah. This is her sister, Tori.

No, I will not go out with you!

What's... give me my phone! Hey!

I'm dead for 10 seconds, and you're already hitting.

On my sister?!

No, no, you listen to me, Lendle.

It's doesn't matter... That's my life now.

So I might as well... hey, Tori, come see this!

Oh, what?

Play it again!

Kay-kay.

So it turns out the dude from northridge.

Who said he won the lichterz ice cream contest, he faked it.

Yeah.

Guy's a loser.

Anyways, contest, back on!

Get it! Ke$ha out.

I can still win the contest!

Run for it, Tori!

Run straight home and don't stop till you get there!

Right!

Contest back on!!! Gotta get more ice cream!!! I'm running!!!

Feeling: Giddy K.

"A."

"A."

"A."

H.

K.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Cat, what did you say?!

When?

Just a second ago?!

I said when.

No, before that!

Oh, I said h.

What?

Oh, I feel so loved!

Yeah.

Here it is. Here it is!

Oh.

Yes.

Keee-ha!

Keee-ha!

Keee-ha!

Okay, okay, okay.

Must find the s before somebody else does!

Yeah.

Let's go.

Yeah.

"A."

"A."

K.

K.

"A."

E.

"A."

H.

K.

Hey, Tori. Tori, hey... what, what, what, what, what?!

I gotta find the s!

Why don't you take a little break?

No. No! I gotta find the s.

I don't wanna be trina's assistant anymore.

I just need the s to spell ke$ha.

Where is the s?

I don't know, baby.

I just don't know.

Hey, you guys.

'Sup?

The letter that we found the most of is k, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

And what ice cream flavors have we searched the most?

Uh, beach bunny blitz, pooberry pecan and creamy cowboy crunch.

Ah!

Which, according to the lichterz website, are their three.

Most popular flavors.

So if they put the easiest-to-find letters.

In the most popular flavors of ice cream, then...

Then they probably put the hardest-to-find letters... the s!

The s.

In their least popular flavor.

What's the least popular flavor of lichterz ice cream?!

Uh, I don't like being hollered at.

Right, right... Chill, chill, chill. Chill.

Just tap your pear pad and tell us the least popular flavor!

Right, all right. It's uhm...

Funky nut blast.

I've never even heard of that.

Me neither.

Well they had to exist somewhere.

Oh it does.

It's my brother's favorite. So my mom buys it ** puts his special medicine in it.

Oh... where will we find the funky nut blast?

We get it at the handy quick and kelly bassett.

Drive me there.

Let's go.

I'm going.

Can I come?

I don't care.

Come on.

Well?

Me first.

Go go Andre.

Funky nut blast.

Yes!

Go pay for it.

Kay'kay.

What what what?

Is it s?

No.

It's just dump h.

Well maybe there's another pine.

No. There's not.

That's the only funky nut blast.

Tori?

Tori...?

Hey. The boy over there is eating funky nut blast.

Oh get him.

Hi.

Hello.

Hey.

Whatcha eatin' there?

Funky nut blast.

Ahhh. Can we have it?

Get outta here.

We'll give you 30 bucks for it.

Deal.

Yay!

Now we can win the contest and meet ke$ha!

No.

Shut your mouth!

Whaty?

This whatcha want?

Yeah.

Ah!

I'll give it to you.

Ah!

If... What do you want?

To come to the private concert.

Fine.

Okay.

And I wanna kiss you.

What?

And her.

And the freaky one.

What?

You better stop there.

We got Ke$ha!! No more being Trina's assistant!!! Concert time!!!

Feeling: Triple-Pumped!

Back door cracked we don't need a key we get in for free no vip sleaze drink that kool-aid follow my lead now you're one of us you're coming with me tonight we're taking over no one's getting out this place about to blow blo-oh-oh-oh. Blow this place about to blow blo-oh-oh-oh. Blow this place about to now what what we're taking control we get what we want we do what you don't dirt and glitter cover the floor we're pretty and sick we're young and we're bored tonight we're taking names
'cause we don't mess around this place about to blow blo-oh-oh-oh. Blow this place about to blow blo-oh-oh-oh. Blow this place about to oh! Ke$ha, that was so great.

You totally rocked our home.

Thanks.

Wanna come upstairs and see my room?

No.

C'mon!

Uh, dude.

Uh, what?

You and those two chicks owe me some lips.

Okay.

But let's go someplace more private.

Good call.

Come with me.

Yes, ma'am.

And now, I'll just open this door.

Cool.

Hey!

Kiss the shrub.

Wait! Ke$ha, wait!

No. You're weird.

Trina!

Ke$ha, I am so sorry about her.

Is she your sister?

Yeah.

I'm sorry for you.

Everyone is.

Are those real cheekbones?

Yeah.

Hey, that little boy got locked out.

Trina! Don't!

Trina!

Do not open that door!

Get back here. Trina!

Oh.

What's wrong, little guy?

Those girls promised to kiss me, and didn't.

Oh.

Well, you can give me a little kiss.

Gross.