03X01 - The Breakfast Bunch

Episode scripts for the TV show, "Victorious". Aired March 2010 - February 2013.*
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Aspiring singer Tori Vega navigates life while attending a performing arts high school called Hollywood Arts.
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03X01 - The Breakfast Bunch

Post by bunniefuu »

Well,this is a great way to spend a Saturday.

I have never had detention before.

I'm kind of nervous.

If you hadn't made us late for class, we wouldn't be here.

I was choking on a pretzel!

Well, why do you always gotta be chokin' on something'?

Ah,give him a break.

Yeah, it's not robbie's fault he has a petite throat.

It's average!

Hey, who's in charge of detention anyway?

Vice principal-- Dickers.

Mornin' waz-bags.

Detention is that way -- in the library.

Get ready for the worst day of your lives.

Yay!

We're at school on a saturday!

Ha ha ha ha...

Library!

Okay.

Geez.

Calm down.

Well,well.

It's 7:06 a.M.

Here in los angeles.

That means in australia, it's yesterday.

Or tomorrow.

You know, in australia.

All day and think about why you're in detention.

Now, cellphones, let's have them.

why?

Because in detentions, there are no phone calls.

What about texting?

no!

Email?

no!

Can we play grumpy gerbils?

I love grumpy gerbils.

I can't get pass level twenty-three.

Sip it, corn pie!

can we have corn pie?

Shut up!

Phones!

Now, I'm gonna put your box of phones right here.

What, princess?

I am just wondering what the plan is for lunch.

Well, if you pretends to get hungry, there's a big plane of tuna right here.

Uh,techinically sir.

If perishable foods aren't kept either below 34 degrees or above 140 degrees--

Pipe outside, salad.

Eat the tuna or starve.

I can care less.

Um,i think you mean you couldn't care less.

What's that?

You said you could care less which implies that you do care.

At least a little bit.

I don't.

Well,then you should've said you couldn't care less.

But you did not.

Hey, what about the guy who first landed on the moon?

He said "one small step for man."

I wanna just say "oh my god, I'm on the moon!"

All right, not another word.

Word.

That's it, west.

You just bought yourself for another saturday detention.

Did I get a good deal on it?

You just bought yourself another one!!!

Look, I am sorry.

I apologize.

That's three.

Three saturdays.

But she was apologizing.

Okay, vega, now you got one.

Why?

Boom!

Another one!

I don't want another one.

That's three!

You wanna try for four?

I really don't.

That's four.

You want five?

Yes.

Ok, vega.

You just got five!

What?

tori.

Stop what?

Jade said yes!

I guess he's afraid to get warm the rabbit.

Oh yeah?

I got one for you too!

Fudge sack!

Anybody else?

Huh?

Anybody?

You mess with the cow...

You get the udders.

Forget you.

You know what I could go for right now?

tacos how you know?

I felt ya, dawg.

Tacos do sound really good right now.

Put up for tacos.

yeah, I love tacos.

Look who's been reeeaaal quiet.

I am just not that hungry right now.

Yeah, why do you tell everyone the truth?

Leave me alone.

what's goin' on here?

Our pristine little friend cat has never had a taco.

I'm not that pristine.

Wait what's pristine mean?

Are you a vegan?

Knock it off, guys.

What's a vegan?

It's a person who doesn't eat meat.

I love meat.

Don't shush me.

Come on, cat.

Tell us.

Have you ever had a crispy corn shell...

Full of meat, lettuce...

Shredded cheese...

Hey, leave her alone.

What do you gonna do if I don't?

Oh I just might go online...

To the slap...

And unfriend you.

Oh really?

Two clicks.

One to unfriend you.

And one to confirm that I am really wanna unfriend you.

Hey, come on y'all.

How are we gonna get some tacos?

I can call trina.

Ask her to pick some up and leave it in my locker.

You're so conceited, tori.

You're so conceited

...

What?

Come on!
Okay.

Tacos.

The girl has tacos.

They're tacos.

Do you approve of this?

Whoa,whoa,whoa, the floor is wet.

You can't run across that.

It's too dangerous.

Way to go, tori.

You just had to have your taco.

We're dead.

no...

Just me.

You guys get back to the library.

what about you?

I am gonna get dickers' attention.

how?

Here I am once again you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.

You're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction just remember me well, I'll make it shine.

Oh, I'm gonna make it shine.

I'm gonna make it shine real good.

Listen.

ahhhh, you're in big trouble, vega.

For what?

For leaving the library.

Skinny-jeans.

And sing it off key.

Come on!

I was running and singing at the same time!

That's really hard.

Oh, shut up!

That's the last time, vega.

That's the last time you run around these halls singing about making things shine.

I'm sorry.

You watch that mouth.

What did I say?!

You know what you're gonna be five years from now?

You're gonna be a big pop star.

That...

Sounds pretty cool.

Ok, miss pop star.

See if you can pop this!

Is that an arm pimple?

That's right.

Go ahead, pop star.

Pop it.

Pop my arm pimple.

Eww.

I dare ya.

Pop it.

No.

come on!

You can do it.

Get on it!!

Do it,vega!!!

I don't want to!!!

That's what I thought.

Sorry...

Just tryin' to k*ll that fly.

What I miss?

Tori.

taco?

Yeah.

Oh, still warm.

they were in robbie's pants.

Can you not say that again?

Cat, you're not eating your taco.

Yeah,it's 'cuz I'm like, I am too excited to eat it.

Y'know?

Tacos, yeah.

Vegan.

I am not.

Then eat your taco if you're not a vegan.

Why do you have to be so mean sometimes.

I know,right?

I am just honest.

Unlike some people here.

What?

Why aren't you eating your taco, robbie.

You know, I am just getting ready.

Maybe we have another vegan among us.

I'm not a vegan.

I had taco lots of times.

Ever had a taco around here?

Ohhh -- you shared a taco with tori.

What are you guys talking about?

Nothin, nothing!

Robbie's trying to tell me that sometimes, you and he crounch the corn shell together.

I didn't say that.

Did you or did you not motion to tori.

Yeah but only cause I didn't want tori to know I'm a vegan, okay?

Hey, robbie...

I'll try one if you will.

Oh, man.

These tacos.

It's got me pumped!

I think he's gonna run dance.

Give her some hot sauce.

I tell you,chicks cannot hold their hot sauce.

Are we gonna be just like our parents?

When you get old, you buy sags - and you can't find your pants sometimes I feel so much pressure.

You know,with my music.

My counsin jj is always telling me, "you gotta be the best.

You gotta be number one.

Number one!"

And I wanna tell him, hey man, get off my chiz.

But he drives me to school, and I don't wanna blow my ride.

I have a weird talent so conceited,tori.

You're so conceited.

What's your talent?

Yeah.

Let's see it.

Come on,tori,show us.

Ok, ok.

I'll show you.

I can't believe I'm doing this...

That was amazing.

You learn that from your daddy?

Your daddy know how to sh**t a bow and arrow with his foot?

I'm sorry, did I miss something?

Go on.

sh**t another arrow.

Shut up.

Come on, show us what your daddy taught you about foot artry shut up!

Cause my dad can't do anything with his feet!

That is not my fault.

Stop it!!!

As teenagers,we are all under too much pressure!!!

Robbie.

You're gonna look a lot better without these balck curls in your hair.

Hey, I like black curls.

So...

Why are you guys being so nice to me?

'cuz you're letting us.

See ya next saturday.

Dear mr.Dickens.

Goodbye from all of us.

A puppet.

A future pop star.

A musician.

An actor.

A nerd with temporarily straight hair.

A girl who likes scissors...

And me.

Cat,they can't see you, baby.

Ohhh.

It's cat.

Bye.

Sincerely...

The breakfast bunch.

Even though we never had breakfast as a bunch.

Oh, no.

Come back.
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