04x08 - iPity the Nevel

[bunniefuu]

You're still editing?

I call it Frediting.

You really thought that was funny?

No.

What's Fredley working on?

A new video short for iCarly.

It's a parody of all the vampire movies and TV shows, kinda like... look what I made.

What?

An egg sh**t.

Oh geez.

So you take a raw egg, put it in this end and then you pump this part like 18 or 20 times... 19, 20.

And you see that target way over there?

I see it.

Watch this. Yeah.

Oh, come on.

Oh, no. Why?

Whoa. Again.

I don't understand.

The perfect Christmas gift.

Hey, can I come in?

Freddie, get off that computer.

Have you guys seen this?

You gotta see this.

No, wait.

Just wait about 20... going down.

Oh... it was rendering.

What is up?

Nevel.

Papperman?

No, Nevel van Hooder-schmoozin.

The pianist?

There's only one Nevel.

And he's not a pianist.

I'm going to ride bikes with socko.

What's up with Nevel?

Here, here, watch.

Dill pickles, kosher pickles, sweet...

Ah, bread and butter pickles, last jar.

Aw, oh no.

I'm sorry.

Sorry? You're sorry?

That was the last dang jar of bread and butter pickles in this store.

Where's your stupid mother?

Where is she?

Were you gonna buy this lollipop?

Well, now it's broken.

Not so fun, is it?

Already over a million views.

And you should read the comments.

Everyone's hating Nevel.

Oh, man.

This is bad for him.

Well, I'm crying on the inside.

It's gonna ruin his life.

Any dang bread and butter pickles.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah, it's gonna ruin his life.

In 5, 4, 3, 2...

♪ I know, you see ♪
♪ somehow the world ♪
♪ will change for me ♪
♪ and be so wonderful ♪
♪ live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow ♪
♪ we're gonna get there ♪
♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
♪ it's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you ♪
♪ just how I feel ♪
♪ so wake up the members ♪
♪ of my nation ♪
♪ it's your time to be ♪
♪ there's no chance ♪
♪ unless you take one ♪
♪ and the time to see ♪
♪ the brighter side ♪
♪ of every situation ♪
♪ some things are meant to be ♪
♪ so give me your best ♪
♪ and leave the rest to me ♪
♪ leave it all to me ♪
♪ (leave it all to me) ♪
♪ leave it all to me ♪
♪ just leave it all to me ♪.

You're awesome, Gibby.

Keep it going, Gibby.

Think warm thoughts.

You got it.

I can't. I'm so cold.

Aaahh.

There you go. We proved it.

Ice is very cold.

Cold enough to freeze your Gibbies.

Okay.

Next on iCarly...

It's time for the premiere of our newest short film...

Which is like a long film...

But short.

Now, please enjoy...

Another vampire thing...

That no one needs or wants...

It's called... Moonlight Twi-Blood Hi.

Are you a vampire?

Why, no, ma'am.

I'm a what you call, a cowboy.

Cow-boy.

Will you be my vampire boyfriend?

Hey, you dumb tadpole.

I done told you.

I ain't nary no vampeer.

I want a vampire as a boyfriend.

Well, here comes a vampeer in slowdee motion.

Ooh. Hi.

My friend says you're a vampire boy.

It's true.

Kyoool. Come to my house.

You breathe funny.

So... will you be my vampire boyfriend?

My vbf?

'Cause that's what I want.

Nobody can love me.

I'm a monster.

Do you wanna kiss me?

If I do, I might bite your neck, you know, murderously.

You're stupid.

I can't love either one of you.

But I'm so fun to be with and I'm great with kids.

You're my vampire boyfriend.

What?

You said your relationship with her was just casual.

It is.

But I can't love you either.

Why?

You're a bra.

Ohhhh.

You seem hungry... and stupid.

Wasn't that awful?

Yes. Thanks for watching our truly terrible short film.

And speaking of terrible, let's take another look at that awesome video gone viral.

Of Nevel being a jerk face.

Playback.

Oh, here we go. Sure.

Cry it up.

Well, I'm crying on the inside

'cause I don't have any dang bread and butter pickles.

You're...

And that's why America now hates Nevel papperman.

We've always hated him.

We were ahead of the curve.

All right.

That contoods another episode of iCarly.

And for now, we'll pretend that contoods is a word.

Good night.

Contood.

Bye. See you guys.

And we're clear.

Whoa.

Goodnight, nurse.

Hey, gibb. Feeling better?

My toes are numb.

Well, numb toes or not, you're still gonna have a lot of fun tomorrow night at our karma party.

What party?

Why didn't you invite him?

I didn't want him to come.

You're totally invited.

Thanks.

So what's a karma party?

It's a special party where you celebrate the failure and disappointments of your enemies.

And since Nevel is now the most hated kid in America, we are gonna celebrate.

So what kind of food do you have at a karma party?

Just desserts. Oh.

Whoa.

Oh, no. Oh, oh.

Whoa.

Oh yeah.

I don't get it.

Hey, how's the chicken karmesan?

Fantastic.

Really good.

Hi, Freddie.

Hey.

What's up?

You were awesome in that vampire thing on iCarly.

Oh, thanks.

You know, I edited that whole movie with some new software that I just got, cutting room flow.

Would you say that again?

But like the way you did in "moonlight twi-blood."

Yeah.

Say it like that.

Yeah.

You know, I edited that whole movie with some new software I just got, cutting room flow.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

That was it.

Seriously.

I love this karma corn.

And it looks like everyone is liking the karma apples.

People sure love pun food.

To Nevel's misery. Whoo.

Whoo.

Everyone hates me.

My life is over.

Jerk.

This is what you get for screaming at that little girl... wet.

See you, guys.

Thanks for coming to our karma party.

Karm again. Okay.

Okay, that was a really fun party.

Yup.

One final toast to the downfall of Nevel papperman.

Whoa.

All right.

Ain't it great, huh?

Hey, I love that liquid soap you guys have in your bathroom.

I am done with bar soap.

Who texted you?

One of those girls that just left.

Freddie, you are so, so hot.

Man, what is it with girls?

A guy acts like a stupid vampire on a screen and they get all floppy.

Who's that?

Somebody probably forgot something.

Nevel?

What's he doing here?

I don't know.

Must you eat your pudding so loudly?

Okay, Nevel.

Why are you really here?

Yeah, why?

You hate us.

I don't hate anyone anymore except myself.

Until I saw that video of me shouting at that little girl, I didn't realize what a terrible, awful person I really am.

This pudding rocks.

Okay, Nevel... don't trust him.

Let's say you really do feel bad about what you did.

Why should we help you?

I know I dot deserve your help.

But where else can I turn?

So what do you expect us to do?

Well, first, I'm hoping you'll be kind enough to untie me because I've lost all feeling in my hands and feet.

And after you're untied?

I'd like you to, somehow, help me show the world that I regret my behavior, and I've changed.

How do we know you've changed?

Yeah.

This could just be another one of your tricks.

I'm gonna go to the store across the street and get some more of this pudding.

How can I prove it to you?

You wanna prove it?

See this sneaker?

My foot's been sweating in this for over a year.

Now, here's a half drunk can of wahoo punch.

Drink it.

Oh my God.

You wanna prove you're sincere?

Then drink from the shoe.

This wahoo punch, is it organic?

Drink it.

What's this?

Dead cricket.

Hey, Freddie.

Oh, hey, Patrice?

Uh-huh.

I watched you on iCarly the other night, you know, in moonlight twi-blood.

Oh, yeah?

So did you... did you like what you saw?

A lot.

I get it.

Well, you should call me.

We'll see.

Okay.

You guys, can I please do more vampire stuff on iCarly?

Can we just record this?

Oh.

Yeah. Whenever you're ready.

It doesn't work on us.

Rolling.

Hey, everyone.

Carly and Sam here... At the groovio smoothie... With America's number one dip-wad.

Former dip-wad.

Maybe.

Nevel.

Nevel says he feels really bad about how he scred at that little girl.

And just to show how sorry he is...

He's handing out free smoothies...

That he paid for with his own money.

And...

Free creamed corn...

That he made himself.

Hi, have a smoothie and some creamed corn.

Thank you for your understanding.

Hi, smoothie for you?

Sure.

Wonderful.

And here is a bag of creamed corn.

The recipe comes from my grandpappy papperman.

Here you go.

Take a smoothie, some creamed corn. Enjoy.

Thank you.

Hello, fellow person.

Have a free smoothie and some creamed corn.

Over 800,000 views.

But the comments are over 96% negative.

Look at that one.

Stupid video.

Nevel is still the worst person alive.

Oh.

I'd like to back over him with my pickup truck.

Oh.

Hey, Nevel.

Why don't you just take a golf club and...

These comments should really be monitored.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

Whatcha doing?

Just counting these screws, you know?

Why?

I got nothing else to do.

Whatever. It's just...

Everyone still hates me.

I guess our video made people think Nevel was just trying to do damage control, you know, that he doesn't really even feel bad about what he did.

Hey, do you guys want some advice from me or anything?

No.

No, thanks.

We're good.

Okay fine. That's just fine.

Why are you mad?

I'm not mad.

I just feel kind of left out, you know?

I'm just sitting here.

You're countin' those screws.

Yeah. Great.

But I feel like I have a little bit more value, you know, more to offer than counting... forget it.

Oh. I've got the spins. Oh.

It's gonna be okay.

No, it's not.

No one is ever gonna believe I truly feel bad about what I did.

I bet people would believe you if you tell them that.

Hey, guys, look.

I'm buttering my face.

What?

My face isn't toast.

Yeah. Whoa.

What's up with these antics?

I don't need this.

Okay, gibbers.

Now stick your finger down in the fish bowl.

Okey-doke. Ah.

Oh.

See? It's true.

African blowfish do like human flesh.

I thought they were kidding.

Ahhh, why don't you go sponge that off?

Yes.

Hurry before you bleed out.

Okay. Now, we usually don't do anything very serious here on iCarly.

But tonight we are.

Nevel?

Good evening.

My name is Nevel amadeus papperman.

I stand before you to sincerely apologize for the inexcusable... inexcus...

I hate the way I yelled at that little girl.

I don't know why I acted like that, but I know it was really, really wrong.

I apologize.

And I just wish I could apologize to that little girl.

Nevel...

You wanna say something to Molly?

Molly, sweet, sweet Molly.

I am so so sorry for the way I shouted at you.

That's okay.

Oh.

I brought you something.

She brought him something.

Red and butter pickels?

Thank you so much, Molly.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry. It's just the whole vampire thing is kinda played out.

I'm more into the werewolf type now.

Werewolf type? Come on, if you were gonna...

Hey, Patrice.

Let's roll.

Bye.

Gibby, you have a girlfriend.

We're not exclusive.

Hey, Freddie.

Hey, Nevel.

Look at all these positive comments I'm getting about my apology.

Wow. Carly was right.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you guys.

Well, just try not to destroy iCarly anymore, all right?

I'll do my best.

Later, pap.

Bye.

I am so happy.

Oh, lucky Penny.

Owww, oooh.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

You don't look where you're going.

You know, you probably just bruised my buttocks.

Jerk.

Can I buy you a smoothie?

No. I have never seen such careless, stupid...

Hey Nevel.

Oh Chiz...