05x03 - iCan't Take It

[bunniefuu]

So things are goin' good with you and Freddie?

Yeah, way better.

Only three fights this week.

And you haven't hit him?

Not in the face.

Aw, that's sweet.

So guess a'who just finished editing iCarly's next fake movie trailer.

The same guy a'who edits all of iCarly's fake movie trailers?

Yes.

Hey cuteness.

Lips please.

How did this happen?

You guys have a relationship, and I have a magnetic fish.

All right, c'mon.

Let's watch the trailer.

Oh, cool. Show it.

Yeah, super bra!

Put it on pear tv.

'Kay.

It's the adventures of super bra.

In a world of little girls and lemonade... Hiiii.

We're selling lemonade!

Each cup is only 27 Euros.

A small town is terrorized by a lanky thug.

Hey.

You got change for a steel pipe?!

Meh-hehheh meh-heh-heh meh-heh-heh meh-heh...

I'm grabbin' this jar.

He's grabbing our jar!

And there's no one to help us!

Oh.

Hey!

Look!

Over there!

It's super bra!

Ahhhhhhhh!

Drop that pipe and return their jar!

I ain't afraid a'no bra!

Then prepare for two cups of justice!

Go get 'em, super bra!

Okay, okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, pause it, pause it.

Isn't it hilarious?

Did you guys not notice something unusual about the trailer?

I'm not in it!

You edited me out.

I think it's great that you and Sam are all smooshie now, but you could give me a little screen time.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Gibby.

Hey, Gibby.

'Sup gibwad.

Hey, it's Gibby.

I told you I don't like it when you manipulate my name.

Whatcha got in the bag?

Oh, sandwiches.

Look.

I was at the gas station, and they were just gonna throw these out, so... well, gimme those.

Hey! Don't snatch my bag!

Sam?!

Why ya bein' so hard on gib?

Cuz he... I dunno.

I'll tell ya why she's bein' mean to me!

'Cuz she's sweet on Freddie!

Yeah.

Y'know, ever since you started liking Freddie, you've been a lot meaner to Gibby.

Thank you.

Well, I gotta be mean to somebody.

No, you don't!

I think she does.

In 5, 4, 3, 2...

♪ I know, you see ♪
♪ somehow the world ♪
♪ will change for me ♪
♪ and be so wonderful ♪
♪ live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow ♪
♪ we're gonna get there ♪
♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
♪ it's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you ♪
♪ just how I feel ♪
♪ so wake up the members ♪
♪ of my nation ♪
♪ it's your time to be ♪
♪ there's no chance ♪
♪ unless you take one ♪
♪ every time just see ♪
♪ the brighter side ♪
♪ of every situation ♪
♪ some things are meant to be ♪
♪ so give it your best ♪
♪ and leave the rest to me ♪
♪ leave it all to me ♪
♪ just leave it all to me ♪

I think it's broken.

You can break a jaw with sandwiches.

Well, someone tried.

Where are you going?

Upstairs to take a nap!

In my bed?!

I took a bath yesterday.

But, n... ohhhh.

For the movie.

Oh yeah, let's roll.

Wait, wait!

You have to re-edit super bra.

Uh, we'll take a look at it later.

Bye Carls!

But... wait.

Hey, do I smell sandwiches?

Why'd you push me back in?

I just saw my mom get off the elevator.

Aw crab. I said crab.

Oh.

Y'know, eventually, you're gonna have to tell your mom that you and Sam are dating.

Oh really?

You wanna see my mom burst into flames?!

Yes.

That'd be cool.

Freddie, are you in there?

Come home, it's time for your tick bath.

Now what?

No worries, we'll take the 'vator.

Tell his batty mom you haven't seen him or me.

Nope!

Oop-dee-noop-dee-no-no-no-no.

No-no-no. Doop de doop.

I am not gonna lie to your mother.

Why not?

Because when you tell one lie, it just leads to another lie and then another lie, and before you know it, you're...

You're a guy tellin' multiple lies.

Oh, c'mon, when that girl with no teeth kept comin' over here, I lied for you.

Fredward Benson?!

Fine, I'll lie. Go.

C'mon!

Fredward.

Y'know, you guys could invite me to go to the movie with you.

Uhhh... Yep, we could... If we... wanted... to... Okay!

Goodbye Carly!

Okay, alright, whatever.

Freddie.

Good evening, Mrs. Benson.

You're looking fresh.

Where's Freddie?

I... I sent Freddie to the supermarket... Why?

To pick up some... Yaaa... Yeee... yeast.

Yeast?!

Yes.

You can't... bake bread without yeast, right?

Why would you be baking bread?

G'yahhhh!

Because... see... I'm... Starting a bread business.

Right here, out of our own apartment.

Well, if you needed yeast, you could've just asked me.

I'll be right back with some.

No no... Freddie's gonna get me all the yeast that I need...

That is the last lie I'm ever gonna tell.

Last, but not yeast.

Oh my!

Why did you stop this elevator?

Hello, Mrs. Benson.

Gibby?

I've got some information for ya.

What kind of information?

Wait... I brought you a flashlight, too.

What is this about?

I'm gonna show you some photos.

What's that?

That's just me in the bathroom... There's me brushin' my Cat's teeth... He hated that... Ah... look at this.

Yeah.

And this.

That's right.

Your son, Freddie, is dating Sam.

I'm Lisa lillien... with one of my all-time favorite ingredients a vita-pop to make a freezie cool banana whoopie pie.

Now what is a whoopie pie?

Do you know... she's a genius!

I'm sorry, but you had to know.

Well, my Freddie is not going to date that gutter girl!

No!

If you tell Freddie he can't date Sam, it's just gonna make him wanna date her more.

Why are you telling me all this?

'Cuz I don't like Sam and Freddie dating either.

It makes Sam be all mean to me.

All right... So what are we gonna do?

You know about palladium?

The precious metal?

That's right.

I'm home.

Oh lemme guess... Sam and Freddie are with you.

No... Sam, Freddie, and Gibby are with me.

Ooo, terrific!

Okay, why are you on the jank?

'Cuz I was forced to lie to Freddie's mom!

I told her I was starting a bread business and I will not let anyone call me a liar.

Don't touch itstop it.

Where's my yeast?!

Aw, dag man! Nooooo.

Whassamatter, baby?

I didn't get accepted into that summer program I applied to.

Nerd camp?

It's not nerd camp.

It's new electronics research and development camp.

You're perfect for that.

I know!

How could I not have gotten in?

I mean, I get straight A's, I'm the tech producer on iCarly...

Ah, don't worry about it.

It's their loss.

Wow.

They're havin' a big sale at glitter gloss.

They are?

Yeah, but only for the next hour.

Why do you get text alerts from glitter gloss?

'Cuz I care about women's issues, a'ight?

Wanna go to the mall?

Ya mind?

Nah, go have fun.

Later taters.

Bye.

Bye see ya.

... see ya, guys.

Bring me some glitter.

I don't get why they rejected my application.

Not sure.

Lemme think about it for a sec.

I have no idea.

Me either.

Freddie... Wow.

Freddie, your mom's here.

What's that?

100 ounces of pure palladium.

Wow.

So a bar like that must be quite valuable.

Oh, it is.

It has a street value of nearly $100,000.

Whoa. Whose is this?

Yours.

Why would you give me something worth this much money?

So you'll do something for me in return.

That seems fair.

What do you want me to do?

Stop dating Sam!

How'd you know?

Yes, how did you know?

It doesn't matter!

If you want that bar of palladium, you tell that no-good puckett to find some other boy to ruin!

You can't bribe me to break up with Sam.

But Freddie... no chance!

Gyaaahhh!

I am gonna k*ll Sam and Freddie!

Are you sure they haven't texted you?

Look, I'm just havin' some juice.

Well fan-bat-tastic!

ICarly starts in 30 seconds, and I'm here alone!

I'll try not to take that the wrong way.

All right, we're starting iCarly... you and me.

Get up.

Really?

In 5, 4, 3, 2... I'm Carly... My turn?

And this has been iCarly.

We're so sorry!

Did you start the Web show?

I finished the Web show.

Well...We finished it.

Say something!

We brought you some Taffy.

This is just a wrapper!

Where's the Taffy?!

Talk.

Well, we went to see a movie... And then I got a text from my mom.

She was waiting outside the theater... So we bolted out the back, ran to the pier and jumped on a boat.

Well, ya coulda called!

No, 'cuz Sam threw our phones at some guy in a kayak!

I had to.

The guy thought he was so cool bein' all... Nyuhnyuh...

Look I'm propelling myself through the water!

Stop it, Sam!

So last week, you two made me your involuntary couple's counselor, then you edited me out of super bra, and tonight, you made me do iCarly by myself!

What am I, a mushroom?

Okay, you're making way too big a deal outta... hey, hey, hey...

This isn't about us missin' the show.

Well, she seems pretty upset... ohhhhh, riiiight.

Mm-hmm.

What's riiiight?

Look...Since Sam and I started goin' out...

Maybe you've been feeling a little... Jealous?

Wh-wh-wha-wh- you two think I'm jealous of your relationship?!

Maybe.

And maybe you were the one who let his mom know we were goin' out.

I did not!

Then who did?

Gib... what?

Gibby?!?!

Thanks, Carly!

So much for secrets!

Aah!

Sam, Sam stop!

Spencer! Spencer!!!

Get off of him!

Sam, this is ridiculous.

Sam, get off!

Sam, c'mon.

This is ridiculous!

Stop.

Get off.

Do it.

Would you stop it?

Here... Ah. Thanks.

Ohhh... Oh, that feels better.

We're entering.

How was the emergency room?

Awful!

Sam dislocated my breast bone!

And look what she did to my sweet hair!

Oh, we found some of it.

Give him the clump.

My poor clump.

Are you gonna help us break up Sam and Freddie?!

What do you mean?

Do you deny that life was better for everyone before Sam and Freddie... Coupled up?

No... But I still don't feel right about wrecking their relationship.

Then let us wreck it!

Tell us what you know!

Give in to your anger.

Okay.

Freddie... Freddie didn't get into that new electronics research and development camp because... Sam sabotaged his application.

How?!

What'd that little scrunge do?!

She changed a bunch of his answers.

Wait, if Sam's so in love with Freddie now, why would she crush his little nerd dream?

She did it like four months ago before they...Coupled up.

Exxxxcellent.

When Freddie finds out, he'll want nothing to do with that Sam puckett ever again.

Don't taste the clump.

Hey Carly, look it... Banana man.

Y'know, we're about to ruin a relationship between two of our best friends?

Hey, I'm freaked out too!

When I get nervous, I draw on fruit.

What? People do that.

No one does that!

Try it.

Draw a face on this grapefruit.

No.

Gimme it.

We're here.

Ready to rehearse.

Three minutes early.

Not late.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Just... Drawing a face on a grapefruit.

Why, you nervous?

See?!

Ohhhhh, look... you're all here: Carly...My Freddie...G ibby... And sweet little Samantha puckett.

So, Mrs. Benson... What are those papers you're holding?

Oh, this is just Freddie's application to that camp he wanted to get into so very badly but didn't.

I need to go downstairs now.

Why'd you print out my application?

Hey, hey! Perfect timing.

I think my loaf of bread is just about done.

Aah!

I'm just gonna give it a few more minutes.

Shhhh!

Mrs. Benson's about to tell Freddie that Sam sabotaged his application to nerd camp!

Ooo, drama!

Look, I didn't get into the camp, so what difference does it make... well, no wonder you didn't get into that camp.

What?

Just look at all the outrageous things you put on this application.

He doesn't need to look at this... Thing... "name: Freddie fish-tickler Benson"?

I didn't write that.

This is all my fault.

Just look what you put under "hobbies".

"Robbing banks... Pointing at clouds... And... collecting poop."

I'm the worst friend ever.

My bread is on fire.

I didn't put this stuff on my application.

Well, someone did.

Sam?

C'mon, let's get outta here... We can go point at clouds.

It was four months ago, before we started going out.

Going to that camp was a dream of mine.

And it woulda helped me get into any college I wanted.

Why'd you do this to me?

I was mad at you.

For what?

'Member?

I asked you what time it was and you said "I dunno".

You ever smell yeast?

Get it away!

So... 'Cuz I didn't know what time it was, you ruined my chance to do something amazing that coulda changed my whole life?

I'm sorry.

Come on... Don't be mad at momma.

Stop it.

Hey where ya goin'?!

Upstairs?

Freddie!

You can't break up with Sam over this!

Carleeee.

You get out of here!

No!

This is my Web studio!

She did it before she liked you!

She ruined my cha... oh who cares?!

Do you know how many things Sam's ruined for me?!

You be quiet or I'll make you quiet!

Gibby!

Hey!

No... No!

No!!

Gibby! You're on my side!

Was!

It's wrong to interfere with young love!

What?!

Take her out.

Let's go, Marissa.

We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

What easy...... on the side.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Just go.

Look... Having Sam in your life is like...

It's like owning a wild chimp.

Sure, she's unpredictable... she can go berserk and chew your foot off... but if you keep her clean and well-fed, she's adorable and cool and tons of fun.

I know, but she... she said she was sorry.

And she really meant it.

Sam loves you.

Uh, it's... kinda true.

♪ Lovin' you ♪
♪ is my favorite thing to do ♪
♪ and if you'll be mine ♪

I'm eating yeast!

♪ Part of this song ♪
♪ oh love ♪

Gibbehhh.