06x01 - iApril Fools

Episode scripts for the TV show, "iCarly". Aired September 2007 - November 2012.*
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Carly hosts her own home-grown web show, iCarly, Carly and sidekick Sam's regular Web casts ultimately feature everything from comedy sketches and talent contests to interviews, recipes, and problem-solving.
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06x01 - iApril Fools

Post by bunniefuu »

Hello.

You're about to watch a very special episode of icarly.

It's...

Different.

It's unusual.

It's not for normal people.

You might find it disturbing!

So...

Just have some soup...

...And try to remain calm.

...As you enjoy this special new episode of icarly.

Gibbeh.

In 5, 4, 3, 2.

I can't believe it.

I just...

C'mon you guys...

Can't somebody do something?

No -- nobody can do nothing.

We have to be out of this apartment by tonight.

And we can never, ever come back here.

I'm so sad.

What a terrible way to spend april fools' day!

This is the worst april fools' day ever.

But why can't you guys just stay here?!

We don't understand.

I'll explain it again...

While carly and I pack up some pipes.

See, I forgot to pay our rent...

...And then I accidentally stabbed the owner of this building.

Mister bushwell.

And for that they threw you out?!

By ten o'clock tonight.

Pacific standard time!

Man...

We sure had a lotta good times in this place.

Yeah, we sure did.

Yep.

Agreement.

Hey.

You guys remember the time we were all sitting around, watching that tv show?

Oh yeah.

I totally do remember that.

Wait, which episode of that tv show?

You mean the one where the characters were talking about crazy things that happened in previous episodes?

And then they flashed back to the scenes they were talking about?

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Mm.

We were all sitting on that couch, right there...

Hey arvid.

Remember that time when mister moore was late for class?

I sure do, dennis.

Hey hey, they're about to do a flashback!

Yay!

I love flashbacks!

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Oooh, ooh, here comes the flashback!

Woooo!

Yes!!!

Flashback!

Well...

I guess we should finish packing up.

Yeah I suppose so.

It's gonna be so weird, not having carly and spencer live across the hall.

Well, maybe we can hang out with the new people who move in here.

Nope.

They're from france.

Whaaaat?!

Don't they know what that does to kids?!

Look you guys, let's not worry about--

Owwwwww!!!

Bahahahahahaha!

April fools!

Yeah!

Woooo!

Gotcha!

Gibby...

What's up?

You just smashed him over the head with a stop sign.

Sure did!

That's not how april fools works.

Oh.

Gibbeh.

Hey, y'know what?

What's up?

I'm curious.

It's only about 8:15

And we don't have to be out of this apartment 'til 10.

So?!?!

Sooo...

Why don't we have a little party here?

A party?

You mean, like, with people and snacks and drinks and a party bush?

Yeah!

Can we invite t-bo?

Sure!

Hey, t-bo, get out here, we're havin' a party!

Woo!

A party?!

With a party bush?

Oh, yeah.

Hey wait wait...

What's the date today?

April first.

Owwwwwwww!

Oh.

April fools!

That is not how we celebrate!

T-bo...

Will you just take us to the next scene please?

Well all right.

Yeah, now this is a party.

Yeah.

Whoo.

Yeah.

Except wait --

There's no party bush.

Oh yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I am not partying without a party bush!

It's okay.

No, I want a party bush!

Hey, calm down.

Calm down.

I can't party without it.

You don't need a party bush.

There's no partying without the party bush.

I gotta have the party bush.

Come on, you're overreacting.

If I don't have it, whoa, I feel weird.

Calm down.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Take a deep breath.

I need--i need a party bush.

Take a deep breath.

It's okay.

Give me the party bush.

Um, t-bo, will you blink us a party bush already?!

Hold on, I'm blinkin'.

Oh, there it is.

See?

Okay, now what do we do?

Uh, we just hang out and talk about stuff that happened to us in the past.

You know, I sure like that web show you kids do --

Icarly.

Thanks.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

Hey carls --

Remember why we came up with the idea to do icarly?

Yeah.

'cuz miss briggs said we couldn't--

Hey!!!

Shhhh!

Let's just think back on it.

Riiiiiiight.

Can we all think back on it together?

Yeah, sure.

Um, let's see.

Carly and I were at school.

Yes, and I imagine yoll even be sorrier after I grade your next exams.

Um, miss briggs?

What?

I typed up a list of all the kids we think should be in the talent show.

Snorting milk?

Pogo stick hopping?

These aren't talents.

They were the most fun kids to watch.

Pffft.

Goodbye.

Wait --

So you're not gonna let any of the kids we picked to be in the show?

That's right.

Girls.

Hey!!!

I'm the real miss briggs --

From an alternate universe!

Wow.

Holy chiz.

You fool!

If our energies collide, it will cause an expl*si*n of galactic magnitude!

Scared, earth briggs?!

I'm not scared of you.

No, don't!

Don't touch each other!

Hit the floor!!!

Wow.

Yeah.

Hey, we should start a web show.

Okay.

What do we call it?

How 'bout "icarly"?

Okay!

Okay!

Yeah.

Ohhh sparky.

Oh, I'd forgotten about ol' sparky.

Well, he's never far from our hearts.

Hmm.

'cuz his head's always right there on our wall.

Stay!

Stay boy!

Good sparky.

Hey, what time is it?

Looks like it is about--

April fools!!!

Dude!

Quit whackin' spencer in the head and go get me some fried chicken.

Sam, how can you eat chickens?

Don't you remember little poachy?

Poachy?

Oh, wait, yeah, I think I do remember him...

Uh from uh...

From...

The past?

Riiight, the past.

He was one of those six little chicks we saved.

Oh, I remember that day.

Mm-hmm.

Play the harp.

No way!

There he is!

Poachy!

You crazy little chick!

Wait wait...

What?

Why'd you stop telling the story?

'cuz we forgot about our foreign friend, minko.

Uh, I don't think minko was with us that day.

I'm pretty sure he was.

Okay then.

Let's think back, but this time with minko.

Play it, harpetta.

Ohhh, we'll never find that little chick.

We just gotta keep lookin'.

But we've already looked everywhere.

Where could poachy be?

Where could poachy be?
Oh, hey.

What if poachy was kidnapped by russian spies?

Or...

Maybe poachy got a job at build-a5bra or something.

I don't think they'd hire him there

'til he's a full-grown chicken.

Yeah, good point.

Yeah, minko, that's what poachy looks like.

But we don't have time to look at your drawings right now.

Yeah, we have to find poachy.

Yeah, we have to find poachy.

Ahhhh!

Oh my gosh!

Poachy!

No way!

We found him!

Why didn't you tell us he was in here?!

He was in here?!

April fools!

Gibby!

Dude!

That's not how you do an april fools joke!

And anyway, you're not even supposed to be in this flashback!

Great.

Minko's unconscious.

What do we do with him?

I'll get the shovel.

I'll get the marshmallows.

Oh, yeah.

I miss our friend minko.

Mm.

Me too.

Hey.

Remember that time our cat ran away?

Oh, yeah.

Man, I love our cat.

Me too.

He's cute.

That's a good cat.

Mm-hmm.

One of us probably shoulda gotten up and gone after him.

Yeah, we shoulda.

Yeah.

Man, I never even knew you all had a cat.

Well, here I go.

Later.

Bye-bye.

See ya, teebs.

Hey, is anyone hungry?

'cuz I was thinkin'

Maybe we mee some spaghetti tacos, maybe a little corn--oh.

April fool to you!!!

April fool to you!!!

Well, we're back.

Back from what?

I dunno.

Hey, the party bush is looking pretty good.

Yeah.

But I think it needs water.

Oh, I dunno.

Hey, party bush, you need any water?

Yesss...

Party bush so thirsteee.

Yeah, it needs water.

Hey, t-bo!

Somebody call t-bo?

Yeah.

The party bush needs water.

Can you take care of that?

Heck, yeah.

I watered the bush.

Bye!

Y'know, even though spencer and I have to move out of this apartment tonight forever, I'm still in a great mood.

Oh, when aren't you in a good mood?

I know, right?

Really?

What?

Sometimes I get in bad moods.

Oh, please.

Riiiight.

Right.

Sure.

No, no, no, no.

Wait, wait, wait, wait...

In all fairness...

Sometimes carly does get in bad moods.

Like when?

Like that time t-bo made you those stuffed mushrooms.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, I forgot that.

Right.

Oh, c'mon I wasn't that mad.

You were pretty mad that day.

Nooooooo.

I just love reading together.

Me too.

We all do.

Hey, carly.

I made you some stuffed mushrooms.

Who cares?!

Okay, okay...

I was in kind of a bad mood that day.

Kind of?

You threw a book at t-bo!

Yeah.

And just because he made you some stuffed--

Hey...

Hey...

Gibbeh?

Okay, that's better.

Man...

I'm gonna miss having you guys living right across the hall.

Hey...

Remember when spencer used to have like really long hair?

Oh my god.

Si, pelo largo.

Nooooo, my hair wasn't that long.

No.

Your hair was really long --

It made you look like a woman.

What?!

Dude, your hair was insanely long.

Okay when?

At what point did I have

"insanely long hair?"

It was right around the time that freddie got hit by that taco truck.

And carly and I kissed.

And you and I were playin'

That assassin game?

Twelve million viewers?

Yeah.

I remember that, but my hair was not that long and I did not look like a woman!

Uh, think back, dude...

Okay.

Fine.

Let's all "think back"...

To that time...

Sam?!?!

Just a lollipop?

Yeah.

Except where I come from, we don't call it a lollipop.

Oh.

Well what do you call it?

A sucker!

What?

Yeah baby!

Momma wins!

I am the ultimate assassin!

At least I still have my beautiful hair.

Well...

I guess my hair was a little longer.

I have to go wash my thumbs.

Wonder who that is.

It's quarter to ten.

Mister bushwell.

Who's that?

The owner of this building.

Carly.

May we come in?

Yeah.

May we?

Sure.

I see you're all packed up.

Uh-huh.

Then get out!

We still have fifteen minutes before we have to leave!

All right.

But then, you and your brother must go.

I can't take this!

I can't take it.

Wait!

Mister bushwell...

Remember that time you came here to kick carly and spencer outta this apartment, but then you changed your mind and let 'em stay?

Uh, no, I don't remember that hap--

Oh, sure ya do!

I remember that!

Yeah, I remember it well!

I don't remember nothin' like that!

Just think back!

Yeah think back!

Think back...

Think back...

Think back...

Think back...

Think back...

Think back...

Think back...

Carly.

May we come in?

Yeah.

May we?

Sure.

I see you're all packed up.

Uh-huh.

Then get out!

We still have fifteen minutes before we have to leave!

All right.

But then, you and your brother must go.

Wait.

I've changed my mind.

You can stay.

Oh my god.

Goodbye.

See ya.

Hey, will you take me out for ice cream?

No.

Aww, I never get to do anything!!

Okay.

Things turned out really well.

Yeah, they did.

Yes!

Carly!

You've gotta come back with me!

Back?

Where?

To a future episode!

But I'm supposed to do icarly stuff tonight with sam and freddie.

Well, bring 'em along!

This concerns them too!

Whoa whoa, wait a second...

What are you talkin' about?

What happens to us in the future?

Do we become hob-knockers or somethin'?

No no, you guys all turn out fine!

It's your kids!

What?!

Kids?

Whose kids?

Yours and his!!!

Or his and hers!!!

Or hers and his!!!

I don't remember, but something's gotta be done about your kids!!!

Well how do we get to a future episode of icarly?!

You all can hitch a ride with me!

Hurry t-bo!

Beam us aboard!

And smallify us!

Energizing!

C'mon, t-bo, let's go!

Wait!

In the future...

Is icarly still on in reruns?

Reruns?

Where we're going, we don't need reruns.

Hang on!!!
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