06x10 - iRescue Carly

[bunniefuu]

Okay, baby Spencer...

Okay!

You ready for your next question?

I sure am! Yay!

Go Sam.

Yay!

"Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can't locate Wisconsin on a map".

Why?

Well...

I personally believe...

That U.S. Americans...

Are unable to do so...

Because...

Rat Man.

Rat Man's here.

Who wants a fresh rat?

Uh, hang on baby Spencer.

'Kay-kay.

We're gonna interrupt this baby Spencer sketch to buy some live rats.

Uh, let's see, we'll take... three rats.

Yes, ma'am. Three rats...

Alright.

One rat...

One rat...

Ah! Rat!

Ah!

Two rats...

Thank you...

Oh, rat. Ah!

Get it away!

Ow! Ow!

And three.

Ooh he looks mean.

He is. And he hates faces.

What?

No rat!

No!

Here you go.

Ah! My face!

Uh!

Rat-a-toodle-doo.

Okay, we're outta time.

Gotta go.

But tune in for the next iCarly...

Because we'll be teaching you...

How to treat rat bites.

Ah!

And we are clear.

Uh, you guys? There's a rat trying to crawl in my mouth.

Then close your mouth.

Why can't you just take... [ gagging ]

Will you please go help him?

Alright.

Hey, you guys wanna order a pizza?

I could get with that.

Sam?

Nah.

I gotta go meet an old friend of mine from juvy.

Who? Dana?

Yeah.

Oh cool, I finally get to meet her.

Nah nah nah nah nah nah.

Nah nah what?

I'm not mixing you with my prison friends.

Why not?

Because... you're like whipped cream.

And she's like someone who eats whipped cream.

Spencer, open your mouth!

I can't...

Ah! Oh.

Aw!

Gross, you got him all wet.

Oh pardon my saliva!

You think I'm too fluffy and girly to hang out with one of your jail buddies.

What does your necklace say?

Love and giggles.

And you wanna meet Dana...

A girl who was arrested when she was ten for biting off a teacher's toe?

What teacher?

Nine toes Peterson.

Oh.

Gah! Ah!

Well still, I'm not scared to meet your friend.

All right. Let's go.

Yay.

You can't say "yay" like that in front of Dana.

Yay.

You're gonna lose a toe.

Gah. Oh! Uh...

Ow, my face!

In 5...

4...

3...

2...

I know you see.

Somehow the world will change for me.

And be so wonderful.

Live life, breathe air.

I know somehow we're gonna get there.

And feel so wonderful.

It's all for real.

I'm telling you just how I feel.

So wake up the members of my nation.

It's your time to be.

There's no chance unless you take one.

And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.

Some things are meant to be.

So give me your best and leave the rest to me.

Leave it all to me.

(Leave it all to me).

Leave it all to me.

Just leave it all to me.

[ Music ]

Okay, there's Dana.

Cool. Let's go say hi.

Wait. Remember...

Don't act too girly, don't argue with her, and do not get your toes close to her mouth.

Relax.

Bukowski.

Puckett.

How you living? You're looking well.

Oh! Looking good!

Jeez, thanks!

I'm Shay.

My friend Carly.

Oh yeah. You're the one Puckett does the little web show with.

That's me. Eh?

Woo!

Yeah. Me and Dana, we're already tight. Yeah.

Sistahs from different mistahs. What?

I'll sit in this chair now.

So, when did ya get out?

Sunday.

Can you believe I was in there for over three years?

Insane.

Yeah.

One time I had detention at school, for two hours.

So, I feel ya.

She real life?

Uh, you wanna go get us some smoothies?

Um, sure. Be right back.

Wait, don't you want some money?

Yeah.

I don't have any.

You must be happy to see me.

Sure.

Why? Did you bring me some of that prison pot pie?!

Nah, sorry.

Dang, I miss their pot pie. All that creamy fat.

I meant now that I'm out, you ain't gotta waste your time hanging with miss candy pants over there.

Carly?

Yeah.

Look, Carly may not have a prison record like us, but she's cool.

You guys, look! They have Gummy Hearts! You want Gummy Hearts?

Gummy Hearts? I'll get us all Gummy Hearts!

So maybe "cool" isn't the perfect word...

Come on, she's a goof. She's hurting your cred.

Well, if anybody's got a prob with my cred...

They can talk to the sock.

Oh yeah, old Sammy. Always with the Butter Sock.

Nice heft.

Because now I use hard butter.

How's it different from regular butter?

It's harder.

Ah.

Nerd alert.

Score.

What'd ya do that for?

He was nerdy.

Sorry, kid. Hey Carls, buy this nerd a smoothie.

Okay!

Not cool.

If it's not cool then what do you carry a Butter Sock for?

For whacking people who deserve it.

Or for corn on the cob.

Ooh, here comes Gummy Hearts.

Will you lay off Carly?

I'm back, with smoothies and Gummy Hearts!

Yeah.

Thanks.

Anyway, Squidge is throwing me a little smash party, for getting outta juvy.

What's a smash party?

It's when ya break into an old, abandoned house, and smash everything.

Ooh. And that's legal?

I kinda like this chick.

Thanks.

This chick likes you.

Please just eat your Gummy Hearts.

Sure. Don't have to tell me twice.

So, am I invited to this smash party, too?

Carls...

Oh yeah, you gotta come. You'll fit right in.

Awesome.

Hmm.

What flavor is this Gummy Heart?

Please don't say it out loud.

I think it might be...

Oh my God...

Strawberry marshmallow!

k*ll me.

[ Music ]

Uh hey, you wanna go to the natural food store?

Hang out by the fruits? Stare at girls?

Yeah, sure. I just wanna grab a... whoa.

Hey, what happened to the lights?

I don't know. I think they went out.

I know they... I'm wondering why...
[ giggling ]

Stop! Stop, don't tickle me, I'm not in the mood.

I'm not tickling ya... [ giggling ]

Hey, you quit tickling me.

I'm not ticking you.

[ Giggling ]

Hey.

Okay, I wanna know what's going...

Oh. Hey guys.

What's wrong? Were you tickled in the dark or something?

How'd you know that?

Because he did it.

How?

With these...

m*llitary grade...

Night vision goggles.

No way.

Whoa.

Mm-hmm.

Where'd you get those?

I was going through my dad's stuff in our storage unit, and boom, I found two sets of these naughty little boys!

"United States Air Force Omega night-vision goggles".

Try 'em on!

Okay.

Ready?!

Yeah.

Whoa!

See me?! Huh?

You see me? Don't ya? Ooh!

Whoa! It's dark but you can see me!

Wow! This is amazing!

Isn't it?!

Totally! Hey Gibby...

What's up.

Why'd you take off your shirt?

Uh, to relax in the dark.

This movie is so good.

I love this movie.

Could be the funniest movie of all time.

And the scariest.

Ah!

[Laughing]

Ah!

[Laughing]

Ah!

Don't do that!

Really!

Why are you wearing a towel?!

And why are you moist?!

Because I was taking a shower... in the dark.

Wearing my awesome night vision goggles.

Because...?

Because with these, I am no longer a sl*ve to the light.

Woo!

Hey. Where did he go?

What are you doing?

What's going on, guys?

What's going on?

Hang on I got it.

He took the popcorn.

Just turn the movie back on.

Mm-hmm yep.

Ooh.

Who texted?

Sam's friend Dana. Her party starts in an hour.

Ooh, can we go?

No.

Why not?

Because you rags weren't invited.

Well, we rags were, so let's go.

Eh, we're not going, either.

Why not?

Because I don't think she really wants... us there.

Yes, she does. You've been her friend forever, and she said I'd fit right in.

Yeah, I doubt she really thinks that you'd...

Quit breathing through your mouth!

Let's just go to the party.

No. I promised my mom I'd go with her to see Doctor Tat-Away.

She having another tattoo removed?

Uh-huh.

From what part of her body?

You really want me to tell ya?

No, I do not.

Gib, you wanna come hang at my place?

Nah. I, uh, I don't feel good.

My mom's not home.

Let's hang at your place. Later.

You guys have fun. See ya, guys.

See ya. Later, Gib.

Later.

All right Carly-girl... maybe I'll swing back by here later.

I won't be here.

Where you going?

To Dana's party.

No, you're not.

I am, too.

Listen, Dana is bad news. She's not a good friend for you, and she hangs out with a bunch a punks that are even worse.

You're not going to that party.

Ya know, I'm a big girl.

I can handle a lot more than just making cupcakes and going skirt shopping.

By the way will you go skirt shopping with me tomorrow?

Sure thing, "big girl". And until then...

You go get in a bubble bath, paint your nails...

And think about bunnies. 'Kay-kay?

Whatever.

I'm not a baby. I have my own debit card.

I can go to a party if I wanna go to a party.

She thinks I'm such a child.

Well I...

Am a party girl...

And I'm not scared of a party or anything...

Ah!

Woo.

I wasn't expecting to see anyone on the elevator.

You girls gave me quite a start.

Whew.

Cute skirts.

Woo. Smash it.

Yeah.

Woo-hoo!

Yeah. Smash time!

Hey, hey, Carly.

Woo! Yeah!

Where ya going? You just got here.

I know.

Nice party.

Where's Puckett?

Uh... she had to help her mom with something.

Poor Puckett.

What?

Sam! She used to be a beast.

Four years ago she would a been here tearing the roof off this dump.

Yeah, well...

What's in the box?

Oh. I brought cupcakes. For your party. Here...

This side is mostly chocolate, and those don't have gluten, not sure how you feel about gluten.

And if you like coconut then these...

Hey yo!

Shut up!

Candy pants brought cupcakes!

Oh...

No please... be careful... that's gluten free...

So...

I guess no one needs napkins.

You thirsty?

Oh. Sure.

Thanks.

What's that?

That's Carly.

He's Squidge.

Oh. Squidge, yeah, I was hoping I'd get to meet you.

Why?!

Well, you have a cute name.

What'd you hear about me?!

Nothing!

You know why they call me Squidge?

No.

Want me to show ya?

No.

Squidge took my toilet punch.

I'll get it. Yo, Squidge!

No, it's okay, you don't have to...

Hey, candy pants!

Ah!

Hey Carly. What's up?

I'm scared.

Yeah, me, too.

Um, one sec.

What are you doing?

Taking pics of my foot.

Why?

Because.

What if I'm in some kinda accident, and my foot gets all m*nled?

Well, how are the doctors gonna make my foot look right again, if I don't have pics of what it looked like before?

You gotta take pics of all your body parts.

Uh-huh.

Freddie? Freddie?!

Hey, sorry.

So, what's wrong? Where are you?

I'm at Dana's party.

You went to Dana's party alone?

Yes, don't yell at me!

Ah-ha!

I didn't ye... look, if you're freaking out, just leave.

No. I need to stay here and prove to Sam, that I'm not some scared little baby that needs help.

Okay.

So will you help me?!

All right, just text me the address and Gibby and I'll come there.

Okay thanks.

Come on Gib, we gotta go.

Wait, I wanna take more pics of my foot.

You've taken enough foot pics!

He's just jealous of you.

Come on!

I'm coming, calm down!

Okay, here's your Teddy Bear...

Thank you.

And here's mine.

Cool.

You ever have a Teddy Bear fight before?

Yeah man, I went to college.

Yeah, but you ever have one in the dark?

No.

Okay. Goggles down...

But don't turn 'em on yet.

How come we can't turn 'em on?

Because they amplify light.

Oh.

So ya gotta wait 'til the room's really dark, or else you'll get blinded.

Ooh, I don't want that.

No.

Now, goggles on...

And one...

Two...

Three...

Teddy Bear fight!

Woo!

Smash it.

But...

But this would be perfect for juice.

Smash it.

Okay.

Uh...

Boo! Lame!

Come on!

Boo!

Sturdy glass.

Watch the door.

Hey! Is this a party or what... oh!

Where have you been?

What kinda party is this?

A dangerous one! Full of scary mean people and I don't like it here!

Me, either.

Well, look it. We got iCarly, right here.

Ooh... iCarly.

Yeah, show's a lotta fun.

But we're gonna go now.

Thanks so much for having us.

You ballerinas ain't leaving.

Nope.

How do they know I used to take ballet?

Alright. I got you so good!

So good!

I got you, so good.

Oh!

Ah!

Aw.

Oh!

Sam! Ah!

You can't turn on the lights while we're wearing our awesome night-vision goggles!

You nearly blew out my eyeballs!

Where's Carls?

I dunno, she went to some party downtown.

Dana's party?

Yeah, I think. I tried texting her a little while ago. She didn't answer.

Something wrong?

Get your sock off.

Why do I have to take my sock off?

Get it off!

Why are you taking our hard butter?

Give me your sock!

It's coming! Dang!

Am I gonna get my sock back?

No.

But...

Buy a new sock.

Wait!

They don't sell individual socks!

Okay, this isn't funny!

We're laughing.

No, no...

No need to throw a...

Ha ha... you throw like a girl.

I am a girl!

Oh.

And a very pretty one, too.

Stop! Quit it guys!

Carly's turn.

Don't! You're gonna hurt somebody!

No, she's not.

It's Sam!

Sam! Sam!

Aw. Puckett showed up.

Cut 'em loose.

Why?

You come here to do some "random dancing"
with your little iCarly friends?

Wow, she really does watch iCarly.

I said...

Cut 'em loose.

And momma don't like saying chiz twice.

Hey, don't sweat her.

Puckett's gone soft.

Maybe I've gone soft.

But my butter hasn't.

What are you gonna do? You're alone. I got thirty friends here.

Yeah. That's right.

Come on, man.

Well... I hope your thirty friends can see in the dark.

Hey, she shut off the lights!

I can't see nothing!

Where is she?!

Get 'em Sam!

Ah!

Ooh!

Take them out, Sam!

Do it! Come on.

Ow!

Sorry Gib!

Oh!

Ah!

Oh, my butt!

Ah!

Sam?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

So tomorrow...

Skirt shopping?

I'll bring my debit card.