04x14 - Red Team/Blue Team

[bunniefuu]

DAVID: ...$13.2 million from last quarter and an additional 36.1.

The Chumhum retainer of $54.6 million, no risk collar, minus the $12.2 million payout, we are now completely debt free.

What a difference a month makes.

(David laughing)

Now, expected revenues.

Given the $54.6 million, the $42.6 million from Mr. Bishop, and the strangely profitable Mr. Sweeney, at $45.3 million, we are on track to end the year... $133 million in the black.

(applause)

$133 million?

Yes, it was our best quarter ever.

We were so worried about reducing overhead, we suddenly made ourselves very, very profitable.

We held together through thick and thin.

Now it's time to celebrate the thick.

(cheers, excited chatter)

What about those new guys?

What about the new partners, these five new guys?

DAVID: Five offers were given to associates in order to inflate our ranks.

It is our feeling that that move was premature.

Just to be clear, we already made those offers.

We have talked to the five associates involved.

Well, that was before we had money.

DAVID: Have those five associates submitted their capital contribution?

No, but they are in the process.

Unfortunately, we all voted on this at our last meeting.

Well, I say let's vote again, hmm?

I'm not about to give up five percent of my yearly nut to these guys who did nothing.

All those in favor of delaying partnership offers, please raise your hands.

Yes, that's right, keep them up, keep them up.

WILL: You're not hearing us.

We're not going over $800,000.

(applause in other room)

Our client did nothing wrong, his product is perfectly safe.

Your client misused his product.

No, my client lost her 16-year-old granddaughter.

And if you want to try to win your case by blaming her... then I'd love to see you try.

We'll see you in court.

(door opening)

We have a good case.

He has nothing but emotion.

We'll win in court.

It's the jury system, it's a flip of the coin.

I don't like flips of the coin.

It's either that or pay $14 million.

Times seven. There are seven other deaths out there.

(sighs)

I want certainty.

What kind of certainty?

A w*r game.

We're going to be rich, Alicia.

No...

(chuckling): Yes, we are.

Profit participants in the firm just came into Chumhum.

Look, once you start getting yacht brochures in the mail, that's when you know you're coming into money.

(laughing): How do they even know to send that to you?

Capitalism, it just knows.

(laughing)

Cary, Alicia, do you have a minute?

Yeah, sure, what's wrong?

WILL: Nothing. We have something to discuss.

Do you know the, um, Thief drink case?

The power drink? Yeah.

Well, Thief Corporation is being sued by the grandparents of a young girl who d*ed after drinking it.

Yeah, we know.

We can't get the defendant to accept a fair offer.

They want to go to court.

Now, we want to go to court, too, but the client wants to test-run the case first.

They have given us $100,000 to run this case through a mock trial.

So, you want us to second chair it?

No, we want you to play Red Team.

You want us to oppose you?

WILL: Yes.

Represent that plaintiff.

We'll represent Thief.

The Thief CEO wants to see how the case goes before he pulls the trigger on a real trial.

That sounds... fun.

It could be.

Here are the case files.

From this moment on, we won't discuss the case.

You prepare, we prepare, and we'll see how it goes in mock trial tomorrow.

What about our witnesses?

Here's a list of the expert witnesses we passed on.

You can hire one of them.

And you can hire an actor to play the plaintiff.

So, how easy should we go on you?

Well, this doesn't work unless you give it your all.

The client will know if you're going at half-speed, so come at us hard.

Okay. Be prepared to lose.

(laughing)

WILL: We'll see you in court.

They've been preparing their case for three months now, and we have, what, 24 hours?

Yeah, that's fair.

So, that leaves us the element of surprise.

Have you ever played your boss in tennis?

Whatever they say, they don't want to lose.

The difference is, we're partners.

They're not our bosses anymore.

So, the Red Team.

-We're having team T-shirts made up.

Kalinda, what do you have on prior cases brought against Thief?

We can't find anything in the database.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Can you look?

No.

No?

What do you mean, no?

Well, you represent the plaintiff.

You don't work for the firm.

Oh, come on.

(incredulous laugh)

Is this from Will?

Well, Lockhart/Gardner is the Blue Team, and I work for Lockhart/Gardner.

Sorry.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We'll hire you.

With what?

Well, we have a budget of $10,000 to hire expert witnesses.

Okay... (drums fingers)

$400 an hour.

Oh, come on.

How much for friends?

$400 an hour.

(Alicia and Cary sigh)

We need her.

We'll go for the cheapest expert.

Okay.

Let us know when you exceed 20 hours.

Okay.

Good doing business with you two.

ELSBETH: Mr. Gold.

Hello.

How are you?

Fine. How are you?

I'm good.

Thanks for asking.

Uh, this way.

I showed them into the conference room.

Two very nice men from the Department of Justice.

I know lots of campaign managers who offer discounts for their services.

Even the prosecutor, Wendy Scott-Carr, did.

Oh, yes, she's been replaced.

What?

She's not on the case anymore.

I think they realized "unclean hands."

Okay, they're in here.

Okay, let's see.

Could you try the ones on that side?

Okay.

(door opens)

Ah, we thought we'd lost you.

ELSBETH (laughs awkwardly): It's a jungle out here.

This is my client, Eli Gold, and this is Josh Perrotti.

Hello.

And you remember Agent LaGuardia?

Of course. Mr. Gold and I shared our love for the ivories.

The accordion.

The accordion?

I play the accordion.

PERROTTI: I didn't know that.

Since when?

Six months. Polka runs in the family.

"Polka runs in the family."

That's funny.

Now, I've asked Eli not to say anything, so he's not being rude here, he's just following my directive.

PERROTTI: Good.

I've been sent up from D.C. for one reason: Seems I'm the only man in Chicago without bias.

Oh. (awkward laugh)

I believe in laying out our evidence. So, David...

This is a wiretap from September 28 of last year.

MAN: So, how much are we talking, Eli?

ELI: Uh, the usual this month.

And, uh, if I'm effective, next month we can discuss.

Did you get my e-mail?

MAN: I did. I'm talking to her tomorrow.

She's really your ex-wife?

Oh, this is Greg Leshoure, of Wooster-Graff Industries.

ELI: She'll make a great senator.

She just needs a bit of financial boost.

Unfortunately, that's you committing a felony, Mr. Gold.

Dollars for donations.

We do have an offer for you.

Eli wears a wire and gets Peter Florrick admitting to a recent accepted bribe...

He never accepted a bribe.

...and we drop all charges against you.

Go to hell.

Okay, we don't need to go down the tough-boy route.

We just wanted to lay out our evidence and show you all our moves.

It's most welcome.

And I'm sure you wouldn't mind sending me a copy of the Wiretap Complaint Application for Interception of Telephonic Communications: 18 USC.2518.

I'll send it right over.

MC: Good morning.

Thank you for participating in T&R Legal Research's mock trial.

You're our jury.

Welcome.

The issues here are real.

The lawyers are real.

The judges rulings are real.

Even the room is real, and, of course, you are real.

So, I'm sure you've noticed the cameras over your head and placed strategically throughout this courtroom.

Just ignore them.

(over speaker): They are recording your responses for later analysis.

And, uh, we'll be checking in with you now and then to get a sense of how the trial is going.

Okay. So, without further ado, I won't tell you anything about the case.

I will leave that to them.

(bangs gavel)

Plaintiff's lawyers ready for their opening statements?

Yes, Your Honor.

Let's go.

(bangs gavel)

This is the drink that k*lled our client.

It's called Thief.

It contains 240 milligrams of caffeine.

That is the equivalent of 12 cups of coffee.

It also contains 200 milligrams of guarana, one of the highest caffeine containg plants in the world.

Now, you may have seen this drink on the store shelves.

You may not have bought it, because this is how it's advertised.

(gentle music plays) MAN (on video): This is your brain on reality.

(expl*si*n)

(fast rock music plays)

This is your brain on Thief.

It's advertised to kids.

This is the kid who Thief advertised to.

Bella Ward.

They're in take-no-prisoners mode 16 years old.

She d*ed last year.

She suffered from a massive seizure, caffeine toxicity.

Where did they get those pictures?

Facebook.

ALICIA: Now, I know the opposition here.

I know Will Gardner.

He's a good lawyer.

(chuckles): Yes, he is.

And I know what he's going to tell you.

He is going to blame the victim.

He is going to say that this 16-year-old should've known better.

That Bella caused her own death.

Then, he's going to blame the grandparents.

It's unclear how both principles could be true, but all he has to do is tarnish one of them to make it work.

So...

I ask one thing of you: Don't be fooled.

You wouldn't let a crime victim be blamed.

Bella, in many ways, is a crime victim.

The only difference here is the assailant, and the assailant here is Thief.

They advertised their drink to her, and then they k*lled her.

They need to be held accountable or they will do the same to your kids.

Thank you.

(sighs)

Nice work.

Thank you.

Well, that's an odd experience.

Someone making me the subject of their opening argument.

(chuckles)

Game on.

(footsteps approaching)

ALICIA: David, how are you?

I'm good.

Unfortunately, we have a problem.

Oh, no, we have an opportunity.

Ha! That's right.

Every problem is an opportunity.

Well, here's the opportunity: We need to delay your partnership for a year.

(chuckles)

The equity partners are not withdrawing the offer of partnership, we just have to delay it.

Why?

We... need time to assess the repercussions of changes in the workplace.

And how long will that take?

How long will it take to assess the changes?

We're not sure.

The equity partners will review at the next meeting.

Thanks for understanding.

David?

What just happened?

Nothing.

We're a democratic institution, and unfortunately, democratic institutions change their minds.

What was that?

I think I was just mugged.





CARY: Could you give us an example of how you'd do it?

MAN: Yes, but it's not...

Those proportions would suggest your conclusion.

So in your expert opinion, Dr. Borgnine, how did Bella die?

A seizure due to caffeine toxicity which caused her to aspirate emesis into her lungs.

In simpler terms?

She choked on her own vomit.

And this was caused by this drink?

Yes.

I know it look innocuous, but it's not.

It k*lled her.

Thank you, Doctor.

Your witness.

Uh, this is Bella, the 16-year-old who d*ed, but this is Bella, too, in a photo we weren't aware of until the plaintiff presented it in court this morning.

Doctor, can you tell the difference between these two...

Objection, Your Honor.

Vague.

Yeah, um... I'll allow.

Could I have a ruling on that?

I already ruled.

No, I'm sorry, Your Honor, you didn't.

Overruled.

Go ahead and answer.

Do I see a difference between these two photos?

Well, in that one she looks thinner.

Uh, yes, at her death she weighed 85 pounds, five-foot-six.

Does this suggest she was anorexic?

Yes.

Those proportions would suggest your conclusion.

And has anorexia ever resulted in a seizure?

Yes.

So is there any way to categorically blame Thief for Bella's seizure?

No, not if the victim had contributory causes.

WOMAN (over recording): I-I tried to wake her up, but she was just lying there so helpless, so tired.

(crying): Bella, if I could just hold you one more time.

WOMAN 2: I could do that.

No problem.

You sure?

We don't want her to be too maudlin.

No, I don't do maudlin.

You saw my notices.

Okay.

Is this under SAG or AFTRA?

CARY: Actor's Equity, okay?

Cary?

Did David Lee talk to you?

Yeah. Did he talk to you?

(door closes)

He said they were delaying my partnership.

They say until next year. But...

Same with me.

And the other fourth years?

My guess is the same.

It's because of money, isn't it?

They don't want to share the wealth.

They were fine sharing the debts, but never the wealth.

What do you want to do?

What do you want to do?

I think we should get the fourth years together and discuss our options.

Partners might be unhappy with that.

I know.

(knocking)

JORDAN: Eli?

There's a weird lady here to see you.

Elsbeth, come on in.

We have debate negotiations with Maddie.

I think I better take them.

No, we'll need to delay them.

This is our second delay.

Hello.

Hi.

Delay them an hour.

Okay. Nice meeting you.

And you. An exciting office.

So, they sent over the wiretap complaint application, but it checked out.

So I asked them to send over the underlying notes used to prep the judge, but that checked out also.

So I... Can I set this here?

Yes, please.

So?

Well, then I asked them to send over the evidentiary notes.

Those are proofs used to show the judge there was enough reason to wiretap, and look here.

What is it?

The Department of Justice requires three dirty calls to warrant a wiretap.

"Dirty calls"?

You talking on an already existing wiretap.

That's a dirty call, and look here.

Two dirty calls.

They changed it when they took it to the judge.

See?

Two here, two, three.

Yes.

But this is the primary source, the one that says two.

It trumps all the other sources.

So they didn't have enough calls to warrant the wiretap.

Yes, which means we can get it thrown out.

Elsbeth, you... always bring cheer to my office.

Oh, that's sweet.

(crying)

CARY: And Bella was your only grandchild?

I'm sorry.

I-I miss her so much.

Yes.

She's my only one.

My-my heart is missing a piece of itself.

I cry into the night, "Where are you, my Bella?

"Oh, Lord, why?

Why is she gone from my arms?"

I see, I see.

And you were the one who discovered her body?

Yes.

It was me.

I held her close to me, so close, and she felt cold.

Cold as the grave.

Cold as the night.

Please, baby, please don't go.

Please, Lord, don't take her.

(sobbing)

Oh, sweet Heavenly Father!

(sobbing)

ELSBETH: Thank you for seeing me.

I just wanted to bring one small thing to your attention, if you have some time.

I always have time for you, Elsbeth.

Oh, would you like a biscotti?

Why, yes, I would.

I love biscotti.

Uh...

Thank you.

Here's the problem for you, Josh.

The number of dirty calls.

You need... do you remember how many?

Three.

Right, for an application, and yet, look here.

Two... on David LaGuardia's evidentiary notes, see?

Could I see that?

Yes.

Mr. Perrotti, that...

You can't do that.

I did it.

It was a mistake, that's all.

I corrected it.

Yes, but I...

That was just a copy.

Yes, could you bring me the other copies you have?

(chuckles)

Are you serious?

I needed three dirty calls for a wiretap.

I got a wiretap, so I must have had three dirty calls.

Well, I'll bring my copy to court.

That'll be proof enough.

Uh, no.

Because...

Here is the original, and just change the two to three.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'll b*at you, Mr. Perrotti.

No, there's no record of me doing it.

It's over.

I'm a lot like you, Elsbeth, but I'm sitting on this side of the desk.

This side of the desk wins.

Not this time.

(chuckles)

You're great.

I hope you'll have dinner with me when this is over.

Yeah, I'm gonna go now.

Find a way to b*at you.

HOWARD: Do you have any more witnesses?

ALICIA: Yes, Your Honor.

We call Arthur Schumacher, Thief VP of marketing.

DIANE: Uh, Your Honor, objection.

This name was not on the plaintiff's witness list.

It was on the defendant's witness list, Your Honor.

We're calling him as a hostile witness.

Is he here anyway?

Yes, I believe he's in the observation room.

Mr. Schumacher, are you here?

Can we move this along, please?

What is this, Mr. Schumacher?

Thief Light.

And "light" as in... no calories?

Well, zero carbs and zero sugar.

So it's advertised as a diet drink?

No, a low-cal energy supplement.

And have you seen this Web site before?

You see that there, "Gorgeously Thin"?

Yes, I've heard of it.

It's a pro-ana Web site, isn't it?

DIANE: Objection.

Relevance?

Yeah, I-I don't get it.

What is that?

Pro-ana?

It's a site intended to promote anorexia.

All right, go ahead.

Do you see this posting?

"So I weighed myself, and I'm down "1.5 pounds. Yay.

"Have lots of energy, too.

Trying new power drink, Thief Light."

Signed, "Girl-in-jeans45."

Yeah, I can see it.

Tell me what a cyber shill is, Mr. Schumacher.

Damn it.

SCHUMACHER: It's perfectly legal.

ALICIA: Yes, I know.

But what is a cyber shill?

A freelance worker who helps promote products by posting laudatory comments on Web sites.

Thank you.

We were able to trace this laudatory-- good word-- posting through its IP address to your cyber shill.

Is Girl-in-jeans45 one of your freelance workers?

Well, just to be clear, she posts on hundreds of sites.

Um, we're not targeting, what is, pro-ana sites.

And do you know how many time Girl-in-jeans45 posted on Gorgeously Thin?

Well, as I just said, right, she's a freelance worker.

I don't control her.

135 times, most of the time promoting Thief Light.

SCHUMACHER: Yeah, that's not illegal.

ALICIA: Yes, but it's also true that you're targeting anorexics.

No, dieters.

And if Thief is targeting dieters, or anorexics, then it doesn't matter that Bella was anorexic.

Thief is just as liable for Bella's death.

Objection.

Counselor is testifying.

No further questions, Your Honor.

MC: All right, as I promised, I'll be checking in with you now and then.

So if I could just see by show of hands, who do we think is winning right now?

The lawyers representing the girl who d*ed?

Okay.

What I can't understand is how you could be losing.

It's the plaintiff's case.

We haven't presented our defense.

This is what you should expect.

No, it's not what I expect.

I expect you to use every second to defend...

MC: ...damages that we might award?

Yeah.

What would I give the girl's family at this point?

I don't know, maybe $45 million.

MC: Okay, I see a lot of heads nodding.

How many agree with that?

Are you losing this on purpose?

What?

Do you want me to negotiate?

It'll save you time in court.

Sir, give us a chance to present our case, and don't judge until you hear it all.

They had the element of surprise.

Now it's our turn.

(muffled voices talking)

GRACE: Can you tell what they're talking about?

Something about work.

Is she getting fired?

No.

Here, go get something from the fridge.

Figure it out.

CARY: It's about money.

It's always about money with them.

I worked for 30 hours on Bishop.

We're the ones doing all the work.

Look, they said they're just delaying our partnerships, all right?

They're not gonna go back on their word. I say we just sit tight and wait and see what happens.

We're doing the work, they're getting the bonuses.

No, that doesn't make any sense.

CARY: Wait, wait, wait.

They're making this about class warfare.

So what do we do?

STACIE: Strike.

JOHN: How about a slow down?

No, that would just hurt the clients, not them.

CARY: All right. This is what I say we do: This week we meet with all our top clients.

Arrange lunches, drinks, meetings.

To do what?

To scare the partners.

CARY: Right.

But don't say anything to the partners about these meetings.

They'll hear about it from our top clients anyway.

And what do we do at these meetings?

Meet.

Don't talk about forming a new firm, don't talk about jumping ship, just ask them if they're happy.

That's all.

We can't be accused of doing anything wrong.

We're just seeing if our clients are happy. - Right.

But it will scare the hell out of the partners.

It'll make them think we're jumping ship and taking all our top clients with us.

So what was that about?

You guys are quitting?

No. Plotting.

Why?

Because we want attention from our bosses.

Why?

Because they're taking us for granted, and we want them not to.

Just don't get fired, okay, Mom?

Okay.

We should do it, Alicia.

Start our own firm.

Cary.

What?

You bring Bishop, I bring Chumhum.

Suddenly we're the eighth largest firm in Chicago.

You don't think those two would come with us?

No, actually, I do think they would.

Then let's do it.

We say yes tonight, next week we're the eighth largest firm.

And you're the wife of the governor.

And money?

You need start-up money, or... those clients don't even consider coming.

What did you have to borrow to get your capital contribution together?

A few hundred thousand?

Put that together, that's a million between us, that's start-up money.

Come on.

I'm sick of waiting on other people.

Having them control our fates.

It's no better on our own.

I mean, you're still controlled by the landlord, the clients.

Look at Will and Diane, they're not free.

They're freer than us.

Waiting to see if we have to kiss partnership butt for the next four years? Come on.

Florrick, Agos & Associates.

(laughs)

Look at that, I just gave you first billing.

I'll think about it.

We can change the world.

DIANE: As the general counsel of Thief, could you tell us how this beverage came to market?

Thief has gone through the most intensive, two-year FDA process of approval.

DIANE: And do you believe that Thief is safe?

Oh, it's more than safe.

It has adhered to the highest standards of safety.

DIANE: Thank you.

No further questions.

Mr. Jaffer.

You spoke of the FDA's approval process.

Was the approval of Thief as a food, or as a dietary supplement?

I don't understand.

Did the FDA apply their food standards to Thief?

Oh. I see.

No.

No, they, uh, considered it a supplement.

I see. So there were no standards for Thief to meet.

The FDA applies standards to food.

Well, uh...

It doesn't apply it to supplements, is that correct?

More or less.

In what way less?

Excuse me?

You just said, "more or less."

In what way was I less right?

JAFFER: Um... I'm sorry.

You're actually right.

Um... it was a figure of speech.

Okay.

So now according to your own records, you submitted Thief to the FDA more than once over this two-year process.

Why did you submit it twice?

That's not unusual.

Yes, but the first time you submitted it as a food.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Then you added one ingredient to the beverage?

Didn't you?

Here's the list of ingredients both times you submitted.

You see that there?

Um...

(clears throat)

Yeah. Okay.

I see.

Looks like, uh... like B12. CARY: That's correct.

And once you added B12, that allowed you to claim the beverage was a dietary supplement and therefore not subject to stringent FDA approval.

I would reject that characterization of our motives.

In fact, isn't Thief identical to Rockstar, an energy drink which recently was sent an FDA warning letter for adding ginkgo?

I don't know anything about that.

And the only reason you weren't sent an identical warning letter is because you gamed the system, so you are not considered a food.

Objection, Your Honor.

Prejudicial.

How is that prejudicial?

Because you're suggesting that Thief should be judged as a food when it's not a food.

Yes, because they gamed the system.

WILL: No. It's about categories.

The FDA has concluded Thief is not a food.

Wait a minute.

The FDA didn't conclude any such thing.

Your Honor, which counsel is questioning?

Wait, wait, hold it.

Quiet, please.

Um...

I'm gonna side with the defense on this.

What?

I said I'm gonna side with the defense on this, because your argument is prejudicial.

It is not.

Will you sit down?

I said his argument is prejudicial.

There is nothing prejudicial about pointing out the hypocrisy of an FDA manipulation.

(banging)

Quiet, the two of you.

Keep yelling like this, you're going to find yourselves in contempt.

ALICIA: What, and end up in mock court jail?

I need a bathroom break.

Then we'll settle this.

Watch it, you two.

Or what?

We don't get partnership?

Wait.

I had nothing to do with that decision.

I wasn't even in the meeting.

Good to know.

Alicia.

You think the name partners control everything?

We're as much subject to the equity partners as you and Cary.

They can outvote us.

ELI: Jordan!

Hey, you need my help?

What did you do?

What is this?

I have no idea.

You need to be more specific.

You agreed to a town hall with Maddie.

You negotiated!

Yeah, I told you.

We delayed twice already; We couldn't delay any more.

I said wait!

Yes, but I said we couldn't.

You're challenging me?

I'm trying to run a campaign.

Eli...

You have been too distracted.

I have to make decisions.

You're number two.

No. Not... not anymore.

Nora, get Peter on the phone!

That's right, Eli.

You call him, but... here's what's gonna happen.

It's gonna take him ten minutes to get back to you.

Then 20 minutes.

Then a day.

He's in a meeting, he's in with the press, he's busy...

He won't confront you.

But... you will know what it means.

Peter doesn't need you anymore.

NORA: Peter's in a meeting, Eli.

He'll have to call back.

(beeps)

Elsbeth, let's talk to them about making a deal.

What happened?

DAVID: I just got a call from Brewer McGower at Chumhum.

Cary asked him out to lunch.

Why?

To see if Chumhum is happy.

They're jumping ship.

WILL: No. They're wanting us to think they're jumping ship.

Well, they're doing a good job, because I just called our other high-profile clients.

Alicia was out to lunch with Sweeney's man, Beth and John with Bishop's.

HOWARD: What the hell?

It's all the fourth years.

Everyone who had their partnerships delayed.

That's why they're playing hardball in mock court.

They're putting on a good show for Thief.

They want Thief as a client, too?

Look, I think they're pissed.

Like I would be, like any of us would be, and they're just rubbing our faces in it.

What do we do, then?

Give them their partnerships.

DAVID: No, we don't negotiate with t*rrorists.

And this is corporate terrorism.

Then we split them up.

How?

Offer one of them partnership.

Oh, come on...

You can afford one.

They're too monolithic right now.

They're united as fourth years.

Create division between them, and their thr*at dissipates.

Okay.

We'll need to call a vote of equity partners.

So which one?

Which one do we offer partnership to?

LUNT: I feel terrible about this young girl Bella.

If I could do anything to bring her back, I would.

Thank you, Mr. Lunt.

No further questions.

ALICIA: Actually... we have a few questions, too, Mr. Lunt.

Of course.

My apologies.

You did everything you could to ensure the safety of Thief, didn't you?

I did. I think any fair analysis would find that to be true.

How many children do you have, Mr. Lunt?

Objection, Your Honor.

Relevance?

ALICIA: Mr. Gardner asked his witness many biographical details.

I'm just filling out the biography.

I'll allow.

I have one daughter.

ALICIA: Her name is Karen, isn't it?

She's 13 years old?

Yes.

Do you let Karen drink Thief?

Watch yourself, lady.

Excuse me? - You don't bring my daughter into this.

Objection, Your Honor. Again, relevance!

ALICIA: Your Honor, the witness must answer the question.

This line of questioning...

Your Honor, this is absolutely relevant.

Excuse me! This is nothing like a real court experience.

Because you are not addressing me as the plaintiff.

The only reason you know his daughter's name is because he's our client. - That would happen in court, Mr. Gardner.

He would be goaded into telling...

HOWARD: That's enough!

(banging gavel) Let's have a little quiet, please.

Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

You got a problem, you bring it to me.

You don't take it to court.

What? I'm a lawyer.

You asked us.

We asked you to take this seriously.

I am taking this seriously.

You're losing us a client.

That's not my fault.

It damn well is your fault!

Well, then, take us off of it!

Fire us! Get rid of us!

Oh, that's what you want, huh?

That's what these meetings with clients... is that what this is about?

Oh, my God.

Listen to yourself, Will.

You are not the injured party, here.

What, and you are?

I am, yes!

Mm.

Oh, damn it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What are you thinking?

You don't do that.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, my God.

Come on.

(elevator bell dings)

Oh... idiot.

I will wear a wire.

But I won't get you Peter.

I can't get you Peter.

Oh... that's what I need.

Eli can get you Jordan Karahalios.

Who's that? The number two?

Why do I want the number two?

He's handling the campaign finances.

You get him, you get everything.

I have one caveat.

I only deal with you.

If it gets out that I'm doing this, I'll be m*rder*d.

Not m*rder-m*rder*d.

Career m*rder*d.

Okay, you get me something real, something on bribery from Jordan Kock-a-rocka, and I won't need you to wear a wire with Peter.

But only if I get something real.

We'll get you something.

Right, Eli?

Sure.

I can't work for you two anymore.

What? Why not?

The firm won't allow it.

I can't work for both sides.

So, here's your check back.

You're kidding me.

I don't know what that other stuff is that ended up in the envelope with my check.

It could be anything.

They settled on another case?

Thief settled on something else?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I can't be working for the Red Team.

(chuckles)

Hey, there you are.

You left all your stuff here last night.

Yeah, I know.

I had to rush out.

What's going on?

Yeah, Kalinda got us something.

DAVID: Hey.

I hear you two are causing a lot of problems here.

Just doing our jobs.

I need to borrow Alicia for a minute.

Why?

No reason. Just a quick thing.

So, the partners had a change of heart.

If you still want to be an equity partner, we want you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

We need your capital contribution within the next 24 hours or the offer moves on to someone else.

Wow. You really make a girl feel appreciated.

Were you under the mistaken impression that we were here for your appreciation?

Do you want it or not?

I want it.

Good. 24 hours.

Is it all the fourth years?

No, just you. We only had one position, you got it.

Why?

My guess?

We think your husband's going to be governor.

How's that?

Feel appreciated now?

PERROTTI: Just talk with your normal voice.

Did you do anything illegal?

Did you bribe someone?

I hope we're a little more subtle than that.

Offer a "testing, one, two, three" every now and then in private.

If there's problem, we'll text you "Not good." Okay?

Okay.

Let's do it.

Did you make an earlier wrongful death settlement resulting from your energy drink Dogfight?

Uh, excuse me, Your Honor.

Uh, objection.

May we approach the bench?

Sure.

CARY: Your Honor, we have information that Thief settled a wrongful death suit on one of their earlier products.

What information?

If, in fact, there was a prior settlement, it was subject to a gag order.

Yes, Your Honor.

But any gag order's not the concern of this court.

That may be true, but substantiating this supposed settlement would be the subject.

Okay, thank you.

I will be siding with the defense here.

What a surprise.

Go cry to your fourth years.

Step back.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

Not a thing.

PERROTTI: Want some?

No, thank you.

Are you holding a grudge?

Nope.

Just don't want a biscotti anymore.

ELI (over speaker): Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three.

PERROTTI: Go ahead.

(beeps)

(passing car horn honking)

(cell phone chimes)

Okay, I'm heading into work right now.

Testing, one, two, three.

Were you ever married?

I was.

I was, too.

Happily?

I'm always happy.

ELI: Okay, I'm looking for Jordan now.

This will be my last "testing, one, two, three."

(knocking on door over speaker)

(door opens)

ELI: Hey, do you have a minute?

MAN: Sure, Eli.

What do you need?

(door closing)

You're not too busy?

No, it's lunchtime.

I was just practicing.

A busy life. No time to expand my horizons.

Here, how's this?

(accordion plays "Beer Barrel Polka")

♪

Anyway, you get the idea.

So, what do you need, Mr. Gold?

How many dirty calls did you hear me make?

What's he doing?

Getting him on the record.

You can't... You...

What? What can't I?

He also scratched out "two" and wrote in "three."

Yeah. Where's your proof?

He ripped up the proof.

Yeah, tough break on that.

I can't believe this.

Elsbeth, I am very disappointed in you.

But you know he scratched out "two"...

David LaGuardia, please.

Hurry.

Do I know that?

What does it matter if I know it?

I just want to know.

(phone ringing on speaker) It doesn't matter either way. We don't have proof.

It was only two dirty calls, wasn't it?

Come on, pick up, pick up.

Hold on one second, Mr. Gold.

Elsbeth.

Hello? Hello?

It was only two dirty calls, wasn't it, David?

Sure. We were one short.

Yes.

Technicality.

The law is filled with technicalities.

(phone ringing over speaker)

David LaGuardia.

He's on a wire.

He's got you on a wire.

This is Eli Gold.

I am in the office of David LaGuardia.

He's just admitted that his wiretapping application was insufficient!

Damn it.

(hangs up phone)

I think you're gonna have to exclude that previous wiretap, Mr. Perrotti.

Fruit of the poisonous tree.

So, you've heard both cases now, and I just want to check your temperatures again.

How many are leaning toward the plaintiff, that's the girl and her lawyers?

Oh, that's a lot.

Congratulations.

Okay, and, um, now if you had to decide on an amount to award, what would that be?

MAN: I think I'd say around $50 million.

I see a lot of heads nodding.

How many agree?

Okay, we make a deal.

$12 million.

Enough of these morons.

(door opens) Will, can we talk for a minute?

I was offered the sole equity partnership.

I know. I heard.

This didn't have anything to do with...?

No, no.

Are you sure?

Because I...

Alicia, pat yourself on the back.

You're good.

This is because you're good.

Okay.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

It was a weak moment.

I know.

We should avoid being alone together.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm sorry, Will.

About what?

Oh, I don't know.

What am I not sorry about?

(chuckles)

It's life.

We're in constant danger of running off the road.

CARY: I guess we won.

It doesn't feel like it, does it?

Hey, I'm thinking of meeting with the Thief people just to get the partners scared we're pursuing them.

Does it sound good?

Cary?

What?

They offered me equity partnership.

Again.

Really?

Yes.

Earlier.

I'm gonna take it.

That's smart.

You think so?

Yeah.

I can, I can argue for what we want there.

Argue? What do you mean?

With the equity partners, I can argue... with them for... things.

Sure. It's a good idea.

I know some of us have taken the Florrick name in vain.

(scattered laughter)

Those of us who have gone up against her husband.

(laughter)

But now we have a Florrick in our ranks.

Now we have a Florrick sitting with us.

Ladies and gentlemen of Lockhart/Gardner, I ask you to welcome our newest equity partner Alicia Florrick.

We're peers now.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Thank you.