03x12 - Upper West Side Story

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "White Collar". Aired: October 2009 to December 2014.*

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A white collar criminal agrees to help the FBI catch other white collar criminals using his expertise as an art and securities thief, counterfeiter, and conman.
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03x12 - Upper West Side Story

Post by bunniefuu »

Morning, Peter.

I see your quest for Manhattan's best brew continues.

One's for you.

Oh.

Yankee tickets.

Versus the Red Sox.

Yeah, I got them from Frankie Whispers.

I'm not gonna use them.

They're behind home plate.

Oh? I hear that's good. Uh-huh.

You bought coffee, Yankee tickets --

This is not your most subtle con.

Con? Peter, I am hurt that you --

You're trying to get back on my good side.

Is that a crime?

No. But let's review what is.

Mozzie steals your treasure, and do you report it?

No. You plot to steal it.

We don't have to do this.

Oh, but we do.

We discovered Adler's u-boat.

And while you were coming in here, looking me right in the eye, you were hiding the art under my nose.

But that's not the worst of it.

Look, Peter, I'm sorry.

Okay?

You should be.

I'm sorry Elizabeth was put in danger because of me.

[ Sighs ]

How's she doing?

I don't want to talk about it here.

Ok. All right.

Do you really want to get back on my good side?

Yes.

Then I suggest we dig into the Mortenson real-estate scam.

You're right. Focus on work.

Focus.

Did Hogwarts book a field trip?

Looks like it. Jones, who's that?

Oh, uh, Evan Leary.

The kid was sitting in the lobby since 7:00.

Uh-huh. Someone did his homework.

10 points for Gryffindor. Come on.

Evan?

Hi. I'm special agent Peter Burke.

Agent Burke. And agent...?

Uh, Neal...

Caffrey.

I work here, but I'm not an agent.

Took the road less recommended.

Nice tie.

Manhattan Prep?

Yeah.

How can we help you, Evan?

Um, could we sit?

I brought visual aids.

Visual aids. Sure. Let's go to my office.

I've been going to Manhattan Prep since 9th grade.

My family's not rich like most of the kids, so I can't afford tuition.

And I discovered last week that my financial aid is being pulled.

Excellent presentation.

Thank you.

If you turn to section 1, you'll see why I'm here.

You think someone's embezzling scholarship money from the school's endowment.

That's right.

It's his thesis statement. Mm.

Look, Evan, losing your scholarship doesn't mean someone's stealing.

Schools cut funding all the time.

Of course. But if you look at the graph, it shows that the endowments stayed pretty even while the financial aid has been dropping over the past eight years.

Where did you get these numbers?

I work at the Bursar's office, and I dug around.

Look, this isn't just about me.

This is about a lot of kids.

Evan, endowments cover operating costs, salaries.

These numbers aren't enough to prove embezzlement.

You haven't gotten to my conclusion yet.

It's the red tab.

Oh, yes. I can see the red tab.

Says the scholarships started disappearing the year Andy Woods took over the endowment fund.

Andy Woods?

Yeah. Um, his daughter goes to Manhattan Prep.

Chloe. She -- she's...very nice.

But I think Mr. Woods is a bad guy.

You got one conclusion right.

Andy Woods -- American financier we've long suspected of managing money for the Juarez Cartel.

Those are some brutal guys to be in business with.

Woods may have a corner office, but his methods are definitely from the street.

D.E.A. believes he launders the cash through investment portfolios.

Now, we've never had enough to go after him, but this may be enough to give us an in.

Neal?

We have visual aids.

Now, there are only five, so you'll have to share until Wesley gets back with more copies.

Tabs -- nice. Couple of years ago, Woods lost a landmark divorce settlement to Mrs. Woods after she found out he had a mistress, but he made sure to retain custody of their daughter.

Chloe -- 17.

When she started at Manhattan Prep, Woods was elected to the Board of Trustees and put in charge of the endowment fund.

You think he's treating the endowment like his own piggy bank.

Exactly.

I'll approach the school as a wealthy parent with a teenage son.

I'll need an alias.

Neal: Alistair Stone -- a wealthy Hong Kong banker relocating to New York looking for a school for your son, Alistair Jr.

You like catamarans and cognac.

It's like you're an alias savant.

I do like catamarans, but let's go with Peter instead of Alistair.

Linda's gonna be upset.

Linda?

Your wife.

She affectionately calls you "Ali."

She'll get over it. I'll schedule a meeting.

Let me. I'll be your amanuensis.

Follow you around, write things down, make you look powerful. My menu what?

Can't you just say "assistant"?

Not at Manhattan Prep.

Oh.

I might have graduated if I had gone somewhere like this.

I'm not surprised you like it here.

Even the kindergartners wear ties.

You know, if my sentence gets commuted, I'd consider going back to school.

Mm.

Maybe get a master's, study abroad, publish.

Don't get ahead of yourself there, Hemingway.

I haven't decided if I'm gonna close the Keller case.

I told you --

Focus on work.

Words to live by.

My school never had a falconry club.

Guess Peter Jr. will be the falconer in the family.

Where are you staying while you're in town, Mr. Stone?

The company puts me up at the Four Seasons.

Mm. Generous.

Linda loves the spa.

Ah. Too bad she couldn't make it this trip.

All right, wait here.

Just sit on the bench while I meet with Woods.

Oh. My 11:00.

Peter Stone.

Graham Slater, headmaster here at Manhattan Prep.

Want to welcome you before I introduce you to Andy Woods.

Oh, you're the warm-up act?

[ Chuckles ] Come in.

[ Chuckles ]

You in trouble?

A lot.

I might get expelled.

Well, that's no good.

Me and this other kid --

Here's what you do.

Make eye contact.

If they nod, you nod.

Do what they do.

It makes them think you're listening.

Then you look them in the eye and tell them you're sorry.

Don't look down, all right?

That's a tell that you're lying.

Sweet!

Thanks.

You didn't hear that from me.

Oh. Excuse me. Western poetry?

"I end not far from my going forth "by picking the faded blue" -- Frost.

Excellent!

Mr. Cooper, you're in the wrong place.

At least you wore a jacket.

I think you got me mixed up --

If I had a song for every substitute I had to track down in these halls, I'd be Aretha Franklin.

[ Sighs ]

Uh, I need to call my supervisor --

Bell's about to ring, Mr. Cooper. You'll be late.

What kind of an example would that set?

Don't know how you make teenagers care about reading.

You just have to be willing to focus on the work.

So, where's my class?

Thanks.

We have three grand masters who work with our chess team.

Probably a better life skill than falconry.

[ Chuckles ] Andy.

Meet Peter Stone.

Mr. Stone, meet Andy Woods.

Pleased to meet you.

Prescott's shaping up to be the next Fischer.

That's what I love about this school -- they push the kids.

Well, I will leave you two.

Mr. Stone, I hope to see Peter Jr. at Manhattan Prep.

Thank you.

Well, you know what they say -- play the man, not the board.

Never played chess.

Grew up in a rough neighborhood, public schools, worked for everything I have.

So did I. Nothing wrong with that.

No. But, uh, nothing's better than a school with connections.

It'll set you up for life.

That's this place.

You have a son here?

A daughter -- Chloe. A junior.

Keeps me on my toes.

Yeah, always wondering what they're up to next.

Oh, your son's a handful, too, huh?

He's very intelligent but impulsive.

His moves tend to land him in trouble.

The bright ones always try to break the rules.

Well, I want to give him the best sh*t at life.

I know it's gonna cost me.

Come on.

Adams, bring the car around while I give Peter a tour.

Send your son here. He'll fall in line.

He won't be able to pull anything at Manhattan Prep.

[ Laughter, indistinct conversations ]

Man: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

Is this Mr. Brooks' English class?

I slept through my damn alarm.

You must be Mr. Cooper.

And the trains were delayed.

Do you have anything for a headache?

No.

You got a little something on your shirt there.

Yeah. They're gonna be watching this baby, not me.

That'll k*ll an hour.

Actually, you could have slept in, 'cause there's been a mix-up.

I'm Mr. Brooks.

My vacation's not until next week.

I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing.

It ain't no thing.

They call me -- they have to pay me, right?

I'll make sure of it.

This day turned out all right.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Conversations stop ]

[ Chalk thuds ]

Hi. I'm Mr. Cooper.

I'll be filling in for Mr. Brooks.

Let's see.

All right. According to the lesson plan, today we'll be continuing with romantic poetry.

[ Students groaning ]

No poets in the class?

Scansion's like math.

Marking the lines -- it kills the romance.

Close your books.

Forget about structure for a minute.

Just listen.

She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes, thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies, one shade the more, one ray the less, had half impaired the nameless grace that waves in every raven tress or softly lightens o'er her face.

Peter: You've checked in to me.

You know what I do, what I earn, and if I decide to enroll my son, you're gonna hit me up for a donation.

Might have been a little more nuanced, but, uh, yeah.

Tuition doesn't cover all of this.

We ask parents and alumni to contribute.

Where does the money go?

It gets spread around, but the majority goes into our endowment fund.

I need specifics.

Donors trust us to put the money where it'll be most useful.

I also invest a percentage.

We want our money to make money.

You had to have taken a hit lately.

Everybody has, but we've done better than most.

Get me the numbers. I'll think about it.

Ah. [ Chuckles ]

Long time since I've been in shop class.

I love shop.

Something satisfying about doing things with your hands.

Pulled the car around.

[ Door closes ]

Where are you staying while you're in town?

The Four Seasons. I have a suite. I know.

I asked the hotel to put a bottle of champagne in your suite.

They told me you checked in... but they never saw you.

And there were no bags in the room.

I don't see how that's any of your business.

You lie -- maybe your son lies.

And that's not the kind of student we want here.

I'd like an explanation.

[ Exhales sharply ]

I came here without my wife, okay?

Decided to spend the first night in town with a friend.

She lives in the West Village.

If Linda found out, she'd make me pay.

Happened with the first Mrs. Woods.

Expensive mistake.

[ Both chuckle ]

No.

Thank you for the tour. Oh.

You can send those endowment documents to my hotel.

And if you're not there...

I'll know why.

[ Laughs ]

You need anything else, you let me know.

All right.

Yes, Jen.

Jen: The Magic Hand of Chance -- Keats.

Very good.

Chloe.

Chloe: What's in a name?

That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.

Ah, the bard.

No one did it better than Shakespeare.

I went to Italy with my dad.

Made him take me to Verona.

"Romeo and Juliet" is my favorite.

Tragic romance. I know it well.

Lord Byron was described as mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

But he sure had a way with words.

Don't mind me.

I'm just here to observe, try to learn something.

Of course. Have a seat.

Lord Byron wasn't the only poet to rebel against convention.

But some poets had to answer to someone, didn't they?

Like a patron who made their careers possible?

We raise our hands in class.

Yes.

What if said poet worked for a patron and his poetry was perceived as insubordinate?

Well, most patrons respected the poet's process.

Straying from the course was considered artistic license.

But was a wayward poet ever punished, say, by being locked in a garrote somewhere?

I'd have to do some research.

[ School bell rings ]

All right. I humbly give you leave to depart.

Mr...Cooper?

I'll need to talk to you after class.

I said "Sit on a bench", not re-enact "Dead Poets Society."

You said focus on work.

I did. I did say that.

I found out Woods' daughter was in the class.

It seemed relevant to the case.

Do you know how many parents would be up in arms if they knew their teenager was being taught by a felon?

Oh, trust me.

It is better than being taught by the real Mr. Cooper.

While you were spouting Byron, I was being intimidated by Woods.

Oh, he's more paranoid than I thought.

Yeah, but my cover's safe.

Look, I'm gonna go back to the office to break down those endowment numbers.

You -- you're done for the day.

Go home.

Oh, good.

That'll give me a chance to look over the syllabus.

Tomorrow, we start on Dickens.

Someone has great expectations.

I should have known our daring rescue of Elizabeth wouldn't buy lasting goodwill with the suit.

It's Peter. He can't be bought.

Neal, you know what this means? Yeah.

If he doesn't let Keller's admission stand, it comes back at us.

Like a Department of Justice boomerang.

Right now, I can't see that far ahead.

All I can do is remind Peter that I am an asset, not a liability, starting with this case.

A battle won cancels every other bad action?

Yeah. Let's have a look.

Oh, Manhattan Prep.

Someone stealing lunch money?

Well, kind of.

We're helping a scholarship student.

This Evan's a concise thinker.

A flair for color.

A facility with numbers.

And a massive crush on the daughter of the guy embezzling from the endowment.

Oh, so the lowly commoner is in love with the daughter of the evil king who's trying to destroy his life?

Does he have a sh*t?

He might, if she knew he was alive.

Don't tell me.

You rode into the classroom on your white stallion.

Chloe is a teenage girl obsessed with "Romeo and Juliet."

She's in love with love.

So all we have to do is redirect her affection toward a more deserving and appropriate target -- Evan?

Yes.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Peter's got a lead on the case.

I got to meet him at the office.

I'm gonna finish this burgundy.

I have some thoughts on this.

I take it you'll be playing the part of the helpful friar who brings the star-crossed lovers together?

Sans vial of poison.

Good.

I'm developing a theory on how Woods is embezzling.

Investments are the only element he has complete control over.

Yeah, overhead, salaries -- all the rest can be accounted for.

If Woods is investing the way he says he is, the endowment should be higher.

Maybe it is. Woods manages the account.

The school only sees the numbers he gives them.

A fixed percentage of the endowment is scholarships.

If he's under-reporting, that explains why they're down.

Yeah. Like Evan's.

Graham Slater is the school's headmaster.

If Woods is doing what we think he is, Slater has to be complicit.

Slater's obviously our way in.

Which is why you're going back to Manhattan Prep tomorrow.

Really?

I'm sending you back in for the good of the case, not rewarding you because you took matters into your own hands.

I know.

From now on, I make the lesson plan.

If you're smart, you'll follow it.

Peter: I walk in the classroom, and the girls were all glassy-eyed, like they saw that kid from those vampire movies.

You know, I bet you Neal would be a good teacher.

Which will validate him even more.

What do you mean?

It's a pattern.

Neal misbehaves, but because he's Neal, he doesn't face the consequences, and he gets a gold star for it.

This is bigger than this case.

[ Sighs ]

I have to go on record next week about what happened with Keller.

Oh.

Honey, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to.

I am safe and sound on this patio with you.

I am okay to talk about Keller.

What's going on?

Only you and I know that Neal was involved with the art theft.

There's no trail that leads back to him.

And Keller confessed to stealing it.

If I sign off on this case, the art goes back to where it belongs, Keller serves life in prison, and I'm a hero for taking him down.

But Neal gets away with it.

Yeah.

He had the treasure, and he didn't leave.

He gave it up for us.

I think that says a lot about his character.

He had the treasure.

That says a lot about his character.

If you ask me, the right man is behind bars.

Neal: You can drop me off at riverside.

You're embarrassed to be seen with me.

There you go.

Peter, we're 10 blocks from the school.

I know, but your cover's safe.

Better walk fast.

Yes. Yes, I will, because I am a bright-eyed young substitute teacher getting a jump on his day.

When I get there, I'll ask to see Slater with questions about tuition to get him out of his office.

Which is when I go in and look for details about the endowment.

I'll be in my class by the time the first bell rings.

Textbook behavior, Neal. I mean it.

You couldn't help yourself. Nope.

Peter, Slater's leaving his office.

Peter: I'm on my way in.

I'll intercept him and keep him away while you search.

He just hid an envelope in his jacket.

I'm gonna tail him.

You don't have much time.

All right, he just put the envelope in a locker.

Can you tell whose it is?

No, not from here.

I could break in.

[ School bell rings ]

Class is about to start.

The kids are all going for their lockers.

Somebody picks up that textbook, we lose the envelope.

Well, if we could clear out the hallway...

I have an idea.

[ Alarm ringing ]

Did you just...?

Yeah, just get in the damn locker.

[ Alarm ringing ]

Let's go. Get a move on.

Let's go. Come on. To the quad.

Okay, everybody.

Okay. Line up.

Isn't pulling a fire alarm illegal?

So send me to the principal's office.

[ Ringing stops ]

Peter, this is Chloe Woods' locker.

He put the envelope in the back of her calculus book.

Find out what's inside and meet me in the quad.
[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Here.

Ooh, careful, Papa Smurf.

Very funny. Give me the phone.

This is a quarterly report for the school's finances.

Slater's sending it to Woods via Chloe's books so there's no electronic trail.

It's smart. It's dated next week.

This is what's going to the board.

Yeah, Woods gets an early look at it...

So he can see how much money he can siphon from the endowment.

We need to get a look at Woods' personal accounts to prove it.

[ Laughing ] Peter, Peter.

[ Clears throat ]

Hi, Mr. Cooper.

Hello, Chloe.

Um, I was wondering if you ever did home tutoring.

We're about to start "A Tale of Two Cities," and I would love it if --

Oh, well, listen, I-I'm just here temporarily.

But I'm sure we could work something out.

Really?

Yes.

You could come over?

As long as your dad's home.

Yeah. Um, tomorrow afternoon? Okay.

You know what?

We should invite Evan.

Who?

Evan.

You know Evan?

Evan, this is Chloe. Chloe, Evan.

We're meeting at Chloe's for a tutoring session tomorrow.

Yeah. See you then. See you then.

[ Girls giggling ]

We're going to her place?

Evan, you're gonna be fine. Trust me.

I'll see you in class.

We'll have to get a no-knock warrant to search Woods' home.

It's a perfect opportunity to get into his office and find those accounts.

Yeah, good thing I'll have an honor-roll student for backup.

Yeah, I heard. Why did you invite Evan?

Because Woods might be more inclined to leave us alone if there's another kid there.

And because Evan's in love with Chloe.

Ah. Which may help deflect her amorous designs on you.

One can hope.

I felt the same way about Mrs. Fitzgerald, my algebra teacher.

Thus your lifelong fascination with numbers.

And smart, leggy brunettes.

I looked over the endowment breakdown, Mr. Woods.

It's very solid.

I do have some final questions I'd like to go over in person.

Are you free tomorrow evening?

Unfortunately, I'm stuck at home.

My daughter has a tutor coming over.

Tell you what -- I could come to you.

My girlfriend's cooking me dinner.

I'll be in the doghouse if I turn it into a business meeting.

Unless you bring yours.

My...girlfriend?

I insist.

What's her name?

It's Danielle.

Oh.

You're together?

Right now?

Whoa.

Mr. Stone...

Danielle, I'll see you at my place at 5:00.

Wonderful. We'll see you then.

So, what's this girlfriend business?

What would junior say?

Peter: Cute.

Let's just focus on the plan. Jones.

This is Woods' apartment.

His office is on the second floor.

Neal: All right, I'll be going after his desktop.

That's right.

You'll copy the hard drive with this portable cloner.

Problem is, his office is wired with a state-of-the-art catic sensor.

Yeah, well, the whole apartment is.

I mean, the guy is working with the Juarez Cartel and running a scam on the side.

I'd be paranoid, too.

We'll need to circumvent the main panel to shut off the alarm.

Or get Woods to shut it off for us.

Peter: While you enter the office, I'll accidentally open that door.

Yeah, if Woods thinks you set off the alarm by mistake, he'll deactivate it.

We do this at 6:00 P.M. on the dot.

Tardiness will get me more than a demerit on this one.

If we're off by a second, Woods will know.

Not bad for big brother.

You're admiring government tech?

No, I-I'm, uh, I'm pitying it.

It's terribly unwieldy.

I'll try not to let it weigh me down.

[ Knock on door ]

Will you get that?

Uh, Neal -- code red.

Evan, right on time for our pre-tutoring session.

This is my associate.

Uh, Mr. Magwitch. Yes.

Uh, we're gonna be acting as your benefactors.

What exactly will you be giving me?

Well, Neal is more of a romantic, and I'm a machiavellian puppet master, so what we're gonna be giving you is...game.

To get the girl.

You told him about Chloe?

This tutoring session is basically a first date.

You got to be prepared.

It's not a first date.

It's a tutoring session for "A Tale of Two Cities."

[ Laughs ] Do you have any idea how many women I've wooed by using an apropos quote from Victorian literature?

Really? How many?

Now, why are you wearing a cardigan and a sweater?

Um, I don't know. I just --

I don't really know what to wear when I'm outside my school uniform.

That's all right.

Let's focus more on how you wear it, all right?

Uh, lose the cardigan/sweater combo.

[ Clears throat ]

And, for Holden Caulfield's sake, will you unbutton the shirt?

Yeah, just loosen it up.

You need an air of mystery about you, okay?

Smile like you got your own thing going on.

She'll wonder what it is.

Yeah, and hair gel.

I've heard great things.

I think our work here is done.

Carpe diem, Evan. Carpe diem.

Mr. Woods, hi. I'm Mr. Cooper.

And this is Evan Leary.

We're here for Chloe's tutoring session.

You're the teacher?

Yeah.

My daughter didn't describe you as being so, uh...

So bookish?

So symmetrical.

Don't know what to make of you.

Let's talk house rules.

[ Sighs ]

You'll stay in this room. No wandering.

You've got one hour. Understood?

Understood.

Dad?

I think you can go now.

We're talking lesson plans.

Hey, Chloe.

Hey.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Sounds like my dinner guests have arrived.

I'll leave you to your studies.

That means no phone, Chloe.

And you --

Eyes on your books.

"Tale of Two Cities."

"It was the best of times."

"It was the worst of times."

I'd like to make sure my donation is spent on something useful, like scholarships rather than a new pool.

Andy: I can see to that.

Danielle...

How's the food?

Oh, it's yummy.

Reminds me of a meal Peter and I had in Aspen.

Oh, yeah. Thank you again.

Such a pleasure to meet you, Amber.

Amber: I love Aspen...

Except for the snow.

Chloe: Oh, it's okay if this goes longer than an hour.

Don't worry about my dad. Oh, I'm not.

Evan was just telling us something interesting about "Book the Second."

Yeah, um...

It was just about the British spies, Basard and Clay, and they're...

[ Cellphone rings ]

Two seconds. Promise.

Take your time.

Hello?

Yeah, he's here. I know.

All right, I'm gonna step out, all right?

I need you to keep Chloe occupied.

How am I supposed to do that?

She's acting like I'm invisible.

Evan, it's time to take action. All right?

[ Laughter ]

Oh, you two are fantastic hosts.

Now, as for you...

Is that my door?

[ Diana laughs ]

Call me "Linda."

[ Both laugh ]

Can't do that here, Linda.

Back to business.

Linda?

As in your wife, Linda.

Ohh.

Over there, now.

I'm sorry.

[ Sighs ]

Evan was just mentioning the recurring water imagery in the novel.

Evan, you want to expound on that?

Sure.

Um, it parallels the anger felt by the peasants, um, right before they storm the bastille.

I wish I was in Paris.

Where are you going?

Uh, restroom.

When I get back, I want more examples of water imagery from both of you.

[ Clears throat ]

So you've been to Paris?

It was a mistake! I'm sorry!

I'm tired of hearing "sorry."

Well, what can I say?!

He's not moving.

He will.

Say you'll leave her!

I can't, because of Peter Junior.

What about Peter Junior's baby brother?

Peter Junior doesn't have a baby brother.

He's about to.

In six months.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

I need some air.

I need some air. I need some air.

[ Alarm blaring ]

Andy: Not that door!

Hang on.

[ Blaring stops ]

My apologies for the scene.

Ohh.

And, uh, I thought I was gonna be the one in the doghouse tonight.

Oh, no.

[ Beep ]

Mr. Cooper?

Chloe.

Why aren't you with Evan?

I got another call.

So...did you get lost?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I took a wrong turn.

[ Cellphone rings ]

She is. I'm telling ya.

And the whole -- Chloe?

You're the one who told us to rebel. Oh!

She's always doing this pocket-dial thing.

Mm-hmm.

I tell her her jeans are too tight.

If my dad found out you broke a house rule, he'd be upset, but sometimes a study break can be fun.

Neal: Chloe, I can tell you have a lot of, um...passion.

You just need to find the right place to focus it.

I know you're smart enough to know that.

What the hell is going on here?!

I want to know what you're doing in my private office.

With my daughter!

Dad! Don't be mad.

Peter: Why don't we all just take a minute here?

Andy: Oh, this will be over in a minute.

You interested in my office?!

You looking for something?!

Evan: It's actually my fault, sir.

Your fault?!

Yeah.

Evan.

Chloe said that you had an old map of Paris in here, and I really wanted to see it.

Map?

Yes. Yes, we were discussing the revolution, and Chloe mentioned a copper-etched map in your office.

After hearing about it, I thought it might be an original Hogenberg.

Well, 16th century, bird's-eye perspective, and there's the Bastille. Enough.

I want you out of my house -- now.

All right.

Chloe, go to your room.

Bye, Evan.

Turns out an honor-roll student isn't such bad backup after all.

No, A-plus for both of you.

And Jones already pulled several account numbers from the drive that you copied.

Sounds like another win for us.

For the bureau.

Well, of which I am an integral member.

Stop digging. Digging?

You know my statement for the Keller case is coming up.

[ Sighs ] I won't ask you to lie.

But I don't have to tell them everything.

Is that it?

Peter, I've got nothing to hide.

You sure about that?

Yes.

You can come out, Mozzie!

Moz: You have no proof I'm here!

There's a half a bottle of wine on the table and a whiff of camembert in the air.

Circumstantial!

I'll see you tomorrow.

See ya.

Little sloppy.

Until that file is wiped, I'm keeping a safe distance from the bureau's favorite Brooks brother.

He hasn't made a decision.

There's still a chance this could swing in our favor.

Well, we have a decision to make.

Evan put himself on the map with Chloe tonight.

He's got momentum.

Oh, time for the grand romantic gesture.

I was thinking a classic -- flowers, fine chocolates.

Or...this.

Evan's homework assignment?

A perfect handwriting sample.

I can whip up a sonnet, and you could forge it.

Mozzie, I know why I want to help this kid, but why do you?

I want to see the little guy get the girl.

Oh.

Plus, I need a distraction.

You're worried about Peter. And you're not?

Let's go with the sonnet.

I'll get my quill.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Hey, Peter.

I'm on my way to meet Slater.

Did you write the check?

Technically, the bureau did.

Should be a nice tax write-off for Mr. Stone.

Yeah, he'll put the savings towards his upcoming alimony payments.

Good luck in there.

Andy: And that'll be the last thing you do at this school!

You okay?

What'd he say to you?

He knew.

He said he knew about me getting the documents from the Bursar's office.

How?

He looked into me after the tutoring session.

He knew I xeroxed the quarterlies from my copy-machine code.

Look, he said he was gonna expel me.

I had to say something.

What'd you tell him?

That he couldn't scare me because I had some very powerful friends of my own looking into him.

Go to my classroom, okay?

Lay low. Go.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Diana, we need backup at the school right now.

Peter's cover's blown.

Mr. Stone, we cannot thank you enough.

It's my way of giving back.

Now, unfortunately, I have to get to the airport in an hour.

Andy: You're not going anywhere.

Andy, what's going on?

His timing isn't a coincidence.

All the questions about the endowment, the quarterly report coming up, that check -- it's a trap.

[ School bell rings ]

Don't do anything stupid.

Then walk.

You'll be happy to know I just did the equivalent of the hoisting of the boom box.

Peter's in trouble. I need your help.

I'm on my way.

Peter: What are we doing here?

Andy: I've got questions.

Hang on, Moz.

And as you know, this is where I like to ask them.

Who do you work for?

And don't give me any of that Hong Kong banker crap!

You've got all the answers.

Why don't you tell me?

Did the Juarez brothers send you?

Slater: Hey, he's with the cartel?

You've got it all wrong.

Check my jacket pocket.

FBI.

FBI!

Shut up, Graham.

We can't cut up a fed.

Yes, we can.

Go on!

[ Motor whirring ]

You're gonna talk, or you're gonna disappear!

Listen, I'm outnumbered three to one.

We need a distraction.

What kind of distraction?

Anything.

It's classroom 23B. Hurry.

[ Beep ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

Hey, Chloe, I've been looking for you.

Mr. Cooper, hey.

Someone put this in my gym bag.

Listen, we should talk.

Yeah, I'm sorry about my dad.

Obviously, I'm not welcome at your home, so I want to give you my number.

You do?

So you can call me if you ever have questions about schoolwork once I'm gone.

Okay. [ Chuckles ]

Thanks.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

[ Motor shuts off ] Chloe?

Neal: Seemed like you and Evan really hit it off the other day, huh?

Kind of.

He's in my classroom right now.

He wanted to finish up an essay, so I let him work there.

It's quiet, private.

Think he'd mind if I stopped by?

No, not at all. Be just the two of you.

Thanks. Sure.

[ Beep ]

Andy: Don't let him out of this room!

Get out of my way!

All right, one down, two to go.

Turns out I did have need for a vial.

Potassium carbonate, sucrose, and just a hint of nitrogen.

They have nitrogen here.

Oh, this really is an excellent school.

Peter: Slater, if you work with me, I might be able to strike you some kind of deal.

It's too late for that.

Well, that's a shame. He cuts a pretty good deal.

I would know.

Don't move or I'll sh**t.

Peter: Nice birdhouse.

Let's go talk to Woods.

Waiting for somebody?

Dad?

What are you doing here?

Well, I, uh, wanted to, uh...talk to Evan.

Your teacher told me I might find him here.

Actually, I'm not a teacher.

You...

You already know that I'm a federal agent.

But guess what.

I am, too.

You're under arrest for attempted m*rder and fraud.

Danielle?

Diana: It's Diana.

And your girlfriend's cooking sucks.

Chloe, call my lawyer.

He needs to know about this.

Chloe, I need you to do this for me.

Let's go. Are you listening?!

What's going to happen to him?

Well, he'll have to go to prison.

Uh, Chloe, your life is about to change.

I'm not gonna lie to you -- it won't be easy.

But don't run away from that.

This could be an opportunity.

A chance to start over, maybe live the life you really want.

I got that chance, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Really?

Yeah.

Thanks, mister... [Chuckles]

Wait. What's your real name?

Neal.

Take care, Chloe.

Hey.

I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for everything.

It's not your fault. It's my dad's.

Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to...

Thanks.

And I really did like your poem.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

We've got early day tomorrow.

Got to get a jump on the Mortenson real-estate scam.

Nice tie.

Oh. It was a...thank-you gift from Evan.

I know I-I complicated your life.

Stop. Don't say anything else.

Can I say thank you?

I told them the truth.

But you didn't tell them everything.

What you did on this case, how you carried yourself...

Makes me believe this partnership can work.

I know what this opportunity means.

Trust me.

[ Breathes deeply ]

They're nice, but they're not what matter to me.

About the commutation --

Oh, I've already made enough big decisions for one day.

Got it.

Those tickets being the hardest.

Pretty good seats.

I know.

You sure?

See you tomorrow.

See ya.

Hey, Jones.

[ Knock on door ]

Hey.

Caffrey just gave me two tickets to a Yankees game tonight.

And they look real.

Want to go?

Good seats.

[ Chuckles ] I'll drive.
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