05x02 - Like Hell (2)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lost Girl". Aired September 12, 2010 – October 25, 2015.*
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"Lost Girl" focuses on the gorgeous and charismatic Bo, a supernatural being called a succubus who feeds on the energy of humans, sometimes with fatal results. Refusing to embrace her supernatural clan system and its rigid hierarchy, Bo is a renegade who takes up the fight for the underdog while searching for the truth about her own mysterious origins.
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05x02 - Like Hell (2)

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Lost Girl...

Kenzi?

Bo-Bo.

You don't look dead.

I don't feel dead.

Dyson: The wearer of the shoes can collect souls to build a dark army, the army to end all life.

Trick: Souls are assigned to different realms.

Bo: Maybe this is Heaven.


You belong to him.

My father.

No! No!

No!

Trick: Someone, or something, wants her to bring Hel on Earth.

Upon blessed wings our legions carry forth a human soul.

Kenzi: Help!

(Banging)

Help!

What the fudge, man?!

I was a beautiful bride, enjoying unlimited waffle bar privileges...

Now I'm stuck in my own grave?

(Banging)

You can do this, K-Star.

This is...

This is cozy.

No, no, please no.

It's okay, it's okay.

You love laying down.

It's, it's a nap.

A dirt nap forever and ever, for the love of help...

Help!

(Banging)

Voices: Kenzi, Kenzi!

Someone.

Dyson: Kenzi, hold on!

Push it real good.

Kenzi.

Stay with us.

I've never been so happy to see your stuck-up mug in all my life.

Did you bother to get a man-mani like I taught you?

Gosh, just 'cause I d*ed...

Do I even wanna look at your feet?

It's good to have you back.

You dug?

I did, with a shovel.

Dyson on the other hand...

Mmhmm.

Took me back.

I used to have this schnauzer...

Easy, easy.

Bo.

Where is she, Kenz?

She, um, traded herself... for me.

Traded herself to who?

Kenzi?

Hello?

What the hell is this?

I was never any good at mazes.

Maybe because you never taught me how.

Let's make up some lost time.

Shall we?

Dad.

Seriously, how bright does that have to be?

They're eyeballs.

Move on.

So no clue as to where Bo is?

I was she-handled by Valkyries, dragged out before I could see.

What should we do?

First, we make sure that you're okay.

Dyson's very likely back at the gates by now, making sure that they stay open for Bo.

Oh.

The phygmomanometer goes next to the ophthalmoscope, not the stethoscope.

Sorry.

New nurse.

Whoa.

Touch me with that thing and you'll need a new nose.

It's a tongue depressor.

My tongue is perfectly pressed.

I've gotten major compliments about it.

And seriously I'm fine.

Do I need to prancersize around your fancy office to prove it?

It's just a check up.

Could you please just... Please?

Check me up all you want.

Without the Dr. Giggles tools.

Crikey!

Your hands are colder then a Yeti's snow nads!

If it sounds like Kenzi and looks like Kenzi...

Your heart.

It's racing.

Kenzi, you're shaking.

I'm Russian, I shake.

I need a drink.

Don't you have any prescription vodka set aside for courage?

Do Yetis chill their nads on ice?

Did I mention how happy I am to see you?

Twice.

Thanks for not removing my liver.

Like, for science.

Science couldn't take the hangover.

You know that she never stopped looking for those shoes, for a way to get there, not since the second you...

She's gonna be fine. I can feel it in my gut.

It's like Bo's right here beside us...

(Glass breaking)

Was that?

Who DAT...

Do you think...?

No, do you think?

It just got really cold in here.

(Squeaking)

H... E...

H-e-l!

Oh my God, she's in Hel?!

Or she needs help.

Bo's a motherfae'n ghost.

Yeah, it would appear so.

More vodka.

I wouldn't do that.

Unless you're some sort of bearded Valkyrie I haven't heard of, you shouldn't even be seeing this.

I've seen a lot of things I shouldn't have.

But if you close this gate, you may never see anything again.

(Chuckling)

I think you're confused about who can hurt who here.

You want me to call my sisters?

If they look anything like you, be my guest.

Stacey.

Dyson.

This is my first field assignment in decades.

Nice to get out V fest.

What's the assignment?

I need a soul to replace this pocket Russian human.

Since when do Valkyries just arbitrary take a soul?

Since a Succubus disrupted the balance of Valhalla.

You know her, don't you?

Everyone knows the unaligned Succubus.

I need to find a soul close to her heart.

Freyja's request.

Where's your heart, Dyson?

Do you love her?

I don't even know her.

Not really.

But I know who does.

Good.

I didn't want to k*ll you anyway.

Thank you.

Holy Odin, your jaw line is insanely distracting.

I have work to do.

See ya.

How 'bout I help you find your soul?

I know this territory inside and out.

Let's go.

Partner.

(Whimpering)

Kenzi?!

(Whimpering)

Kenzi: Help me.

Please.

(Whimpering)

Kenzi?

We had a deal that you'd be safe.

We had a deal!

(Whimpering turning into cruel laughter)

Not Kenzi.

(Whispering)

Who's there?

(Whispering and laughing)

Lauren: She's gone...

Bo's really gone.

Kenzi: Oh, Lo-Lo.

Lauren: I'm glad it's you who made it back and not her.

Kenzi: Me too, we're all better off without her.

Dyson: This calls for a celebration.

We can finally move on, live our lives.

All: To life after Bo.


Who's there?

(Indistinct chattering)

You're trying to mess with my head.

It's not gonna work.

(Whispering)

(Crunching)

Ah!

(Imitating Kenzi's voice): You just got bitch snacked.

So you're the cause of all this?

Funny, I thought you'd be scarier.

(Imitating Dyson's voice): And I thought you'd be hotter.

Coming from the Goblin who has a wart on her wart.

(Imitating Lauren's voice): Can I have another bite?

Whenever there are snacks in the house, I just can't resist.

Get back.

(Birds chirping)

I don't speak bird!

Persephone: Is this better?

Nice shift.

The walls of doubt will entrap you if you let them.

You must not listen.

(Imitating Dyson's voice): Do us all a favour, Bo.

Give up.

Shut up.

Púca is working with the maze to keep you here.

To reveal the path you must choose what, and what not to hear.

I don't need a life coach, bird girl.

I need a way out.

Her true voice is the key.

(Imitating Lauren's voice): I never loved you, Bo, no one does.

Okay, now you're just making me mad.

(Real voice): Ahhh!

Right in the...

You bitch!

Púca punt.

I win.

You conquered your doubts.

You defeated the maze.

Some welcome wagon.

It is the way of Tartarus.

A prisoner can go one of two ways.

Which way did you go?

You're injured.

Where is he?

Where is my father?

He can never learn that I helped you...

Come with me.

Rest assured, you shall not perish.

He would never afford you that sweet release.

I've been here before.

This is Tartarus.

A prison.

A hell.

You came from Valhalla, didn't you?

No. That's not it.

I remember it from somewhere else...

You must find a way out of here.

Before this place finds a way of keeping you.

And trust me it will, it always does.

No, I can't.

Not yet.

I need to see him, first.

Not like this, you can't.

I won't let you.

Trick: Welcome home.

Trickster!

Right.

Home.

It's, um, it's good to be back.

Are you sure this spirit was Bo?

It communicated with Lauren and me.

And trust me, I know about this stuff, Trick.

I know a familiar ghost when I see one.

Well not see, but, you get it.

Have you considered that it could be something else?

Ghost Dad?

Ghost Swayze?

No, there are Fae spirits who become angry when they're improperly entombed.

Or disturbed.

Bo gave up her soul to save mine.

And now she could be trapped in some netherworld with Baddy Dearest.

It's worth the risk.

It won't go Baba Yaga.

I promise.

I don't want to leave you alone with this.

Where is Lauren?

Upstairs, washing dirt out of places she didn't even know she had.

And she's a doctor, she knows all her places.

Okay.

I'm going to head back to my lair, see if I can come up with anything else.

Please be careful.

Conjuring spirits is never simple.

Nothing we do ever really is, is it?

Keep still.

OK, OK.

The whole cloth and warm water thing works well in story books, but I might have to do this my way.

You can heal yourself?

It takes two, wanna help?

Shoveling plus vodka equals woozy.

Whoa.





Got it!

Did you get it, the Ouija board?

You did.

Bravo, yay.

This is some seriously spiritual sh*t that is in no way to be messed with.

Entities that want to cross back over from the spirit realm will say anything to get you to help them.

We have to make sure it's Bo.

It's Bo.

For sure.

I was just, um...

You know, she was...

We were...

Oh.

Ew.

Well at least you weren't getting freaky with a decorative pillow.

Vagdmission received, Bo-Bo!

Let's get gypsy.

Come on!

Thank you, I needed that.

One is always starving in Tartarus.

The key is knowing what, and what not, to eat.

I remember this myth.

My History teacher was this pro rugby player.

Thighs like...

The girl who ate six pomegranate seeds...

There's no way you're...

I am Persephone, daughter of Demeter.

Wife of Hades.

(Deep breath)

And I am your stepmother.

Wait.

Please, stop.

He's gotta be here somewhere.

You don't want to find him, Bo.

He stole me away from my mother.

Brought me to the Underworld.

I can't believe we're... and we really just...

Listen to me, six thousand years I must dwell in the darkness.

Then a mere six weeks back above ground.

You don't want to be here!

Six thousand years?

When my time comes, the Artemis Flame is the way out.

It belonged to my family. But he took it.

And I haven't seen it since.

Where is he?

I don't know.

All I've heard is that he's very angry with you.

He's angry with me?!

He tried to trick me into ending the world.

Then lured my best friend into a portal so I would go after her.

And now he sent his child bride to seduce me!

Never ends, does it.

No, Bo, he never sent me.

I don't like being jerked around.

It's not like that, please.

When you get angry, you look just like him.

Help me find him.

I'm not scared.

You should be.

He's King of the Underworld.

Fae who is perceived as a God...

He is an assh*le, perceived by me, as an assh*le.

Bo.

You have to get away before it holds you.

No.

Not 'til I've had my say.

What's behind door number spooky?

You can't go in there.

All I heard is my father's on the other side of that door.

What are we celebrating?

Everyone's happy, the end of the Una Mens and that Evony is no longer the Morrigan.

The Dal's become ground zero for our territory's flirtations with democr-Fae-cy.

Everyone wants to follow in the foosteps of the unaligned Succubus.

This place smells so much better than my bar!

Good to know.

Have you seen her?

Not yet...

Trick, this is Stacey, she's new in town.

Introducing her to some hearts and souls...

Well, let me know if there's anything I can do to help... accommodate.

That's very kind of you, barkeep.

Was the "her" he was talking about Bo?

Yes.

Everyone is very curious as to her whereabouts.

Looked like he cares.

Might do for Freyja.

Noble barkeep.

Heart of gold.

(Laughing)

Heart of a drunk.

Trick lives up to his name.

He's a liar and into very unsavoury things.

Pixies.

At his age?
(Phone ringing)

Okay, boredom setting in.

Cough it up.

Who's my soul?

Her lover; Her confidante.

He fought by her side.

She fed off him when she needed it most.

He even gave up his love to the Norn for her.

Sounds like a tool.

Where is he?

He's the last of his kind: he's a Mesmer.

Goes by the name Vex.

What do you say you and I go fetch him?

There's something I need to do first.

I just had to make sure you weren't that guy who loved Bo.

Tamsin: Dyson, step away from the skank.

Tamsin.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice to find you playing tonsil hockey with...

Your successor?

Just 'cause you couldn't finish the job.

What job?

An old job I never finished.

I always finish my jobs.

I was recalled to my old mission.

To deliver Bo to her father.

What the...

I can't believe you betrayed Bo.

Again.

I went to help.

I got activated by him, like some sleeper cell.

And don't change the subject!

You were just sucking face with my very evil sister.

Sister?

Oh that's... oh right!

She took my phone.

Dyson, you need to get back to the Valhalla gates, and quick, before they close, it's Bo's only way out.

And what are you going to do about your sister?

Don't worry about her.

I've been wanting to school that wench since Valkyrie high.

I know this place.

During my Dawning.

This is where I was...

I was born in Hel.

They only let her hold you to feed you.

Aife.

I remember when he brought her here.

I used to hear her wails through the vents.

I don't know if I can listen to this.

Hades would gloat about what his daughter would become.

A queen, capable of dominion over life and death.

There were guards then.

A midwife.

Lots of people.

But they fled when Hades began to lose his power.

I won't stop 'til he's as powerless as she was.

Oh, Mom.

She meant to have you two leave this place together.

But when the time came, she realized only one could escape.

So she let you go.

She loved me.

My mother did, too.

Before Hades took me away from her.

If this is another trick, I'll pluck out every one of your pretty little feathers.

Do you know what Hades would do if he knew I let his daughter down here?

Thirty years of missed birthdays?

I think he pony up for one candle.

You must find another way out.

He takes no company.

I'm not company, Persephone.

I'm the one he's been waiting for.

The Artemis Moon Candle was the last thing my mother gave me before the earth swallowed me whole.

Like in Tremors.

Kenzi's second favourite Kevin Bacon movie.

Demeter knew that Hades abhors light... and that it could illuminate my way home.

And where does Pops keep it?

Junk drawer?

Tool box in the garage?

Persephone, I'm sorry about earlier.

I'm not sure I could have been as brave as you've been in this place.

I heard tales of your courage, your bravery.

Battling all that you had to face...

I figured, so could I.

(Heavy breathing)

(Breathing)

I can hear you breathing, Dad.

(Deep rattling breaths)

Dad.

I've waited so long to say that.

To talk to you.

Wondering who you really are.

Are you gonna come out and face me?

You've been hiding all these years.

Why would that change now?

You're not my family.

You're nothing.

You're darkness.

And I'm not walking into it.

Keep hiding.

I don't want to meet you.

I never want to meet you.

I'm not going to jeopardize the people who truly love me back home just to meet you.

I don't need to know who you are to know myself.

You wanna see me?

It'll be on my terms.

With my true family who would never abandon me.

I will never be what you want me to be.

What I am going to do, is take everything you have.

If you don't like it?

Come and get me.

(Growling)

No.

Not like this.

Not from you.

You're not a God.

You're a coward.

But not me.

Because my mother taught me how to fight.

(Sobbing)

So are you gonna swallow the ritual blood sausage willingly, or am I gonna have to hold you down?

You are gonna have to hold me down, yeah.

Are you kidding me?!

Dude, I grew up seancing the sh*t out of spirits.

Right now, Bo's all spirit-y and invisible.

Once we're done, she'll be back to her fully formed chi-sucking, gravity defying, sex maneuvering self.

Right. I think we should wait for Trick.

There's no time.

Bo-Bo, put on your jeggings, we're bringing you home.

Okay, now.

I need you to, um, give me your cold clammy hands and close your eyes.

Vykhodi.

Vykhodi.

Iz teni, v svet.

Vykhodi.

Vykhodi.

Vykhodi iz teni, v svet.

Vykhodi.

It's working.

Vykhodi.

Vykhodi iz teni, v svet.

Vykhodi.

Bobes?

Hope you packed your charger, I always forget it...

What did you do?

The opposite of what he wanted me to.

We're leaving.

Now.

That's not for me.

Not yet.

It's for you.

There has got to be a way.

Come on, I've got your candle.

Your way out.

Let's go!

I'm bound to the center of the maze.

The hotel.

I can't leave.

Not until my six thousand years are up.

Only you have the Helskór.

Only you are the one.

Bullshit.

I've never been just one.

I only win because of the people who stand with me.

I'm not leaving anyone else behind.

This is as far as I can go.

No.

You're coming.

Light this when you get home.

For my family.

So they know I'm safe.

That I never stop thinking of them.

I'll get you out of here.

You've got to go, now!

What will he do to you?

Your father lost interest in me a long time ago.

Besides: I've gotten very good at hiding.

I promise I'll light the candle.

It's important to let the light in, Bo.

Sometimes that's all it takes to keep the evil at bay.

That thing is pissed!

Um, did you by any chance disturb a grave, or anything when you dug me up?

No, Dyson did most of the digging...

It's not Bo.

Trick said we might have angered a buried spirit or something.

I must have broken this urn without knowing it...

What?!

We're being hella haunted because of a shard in your pocket?!

I should have known.

An Edimmu.

I wanted it so badly to be Bo!

You had sex with it.

It kissed my neck!

And now it's caught in Trick's divination board.

We have to destroy it.

(Clanging)

That's it.

I'm gonna go for it.

(Shrieking)

Retreat, retreat, retreat, retreat.

(Whimpering)

(Growling)

Nice grip, Hercules.

Thanks.

Glad you could make it.

When you pledged fealty, you meant it, huh?

Yeah.

Do you mind?

Thanks for waiting.

Always.

Shall we?

Yeah.

(Weapons clanging)

That's it, I'm going in.

Please don't die.

(Screaming)

You piece of sh*t, nap disturbing predator!

That definitely was not Bo.

Where is she, Lauren?

(Door opening)

Hello, Bo friends, I need to feast on one of your souls.

Any volunteers?

Can you believe the Shifter tried to sell Vex as a soul Bo gave a sh*t about?

Oh, well, they have shared undergarments.

Lucky for me, Dyson's text history details Bo's love of the uppity doctor...

Lauren.

Dyson texts about you?

I don't know.

I can make this fast, or I can make this slow.

I'm in no hurry to get back to my shift in Valhalla.

The tips are sh*t.

If anybody is going, it's me.

Kenzi's been through enough.

I bit portal and d*ed; I didn't lose my lady balls.

I'll go.

Oh, you know what? The doctor's right.

Bo and Freyja made a deal...

You're off limits.

This is better anyway.

You hold a particularly special place in Bo's heart.

That was a gift.

Give it back, now.

Nap time.

Or whatevs, good luck, Lo.

You can't have my soul if I'm not dead!

That can be arranged.

Tamsin: Let her go, Stacey.

I beg your pardon?

You're going back to Freyja empty handed.

See what it's like to be in her bad books for once.

Valhalla's books will still be unbalanced!

Well, so are my boobs, but I make do.

Tamsin, on your last life, are you sure you want to pick mortals over your Valkyrie sisters?

Oh Stacey, do you really consider those girls your sisters?

Maybe you should ask them who coined the term "Brace Face Stace" in high school.

Are they having...

A Valkyrie on Valkyrie...

(Whispering): Doubt off.

Right.

I'm just trying to be a good friend here, but I think you should know they call you the "doormat at Valhalla's gates."

Don't you think you should stand up for yourself?

And I want to be an equally good friend and tell you you should look in a mirror because "the Rachel" is so last century.

Plus your roots are showing.

You know the rules!

A Valkyrie's hair is off limits!

I'll be back.

I'll be here.

Tamsin Tamsin?

Or Tamsin from The Shining?

Tamsin Tamsin.

To Kenzi.

And to Bo.

And to all you brave warriors who helped bring them home.

I've never met a stronger united force.

Now we drink?

Now we drink!

Hear hear.

Cheers.

Truce?

I was alone with a Valkyrie.

I improvised.

All over Stacey's mouth.

Good job.

Yeah?

Plus, I'm not jealous.

Trust me.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Friends?

Friends.

Welcome home, love.

Two thousand years; Ten thousand books.

And yet, the afterlife remains a mystery, even to me.

What is it like?

It's... personal.

Dyson: I have something for you.

Please be a hover board, please be a hover board...

It's from Hale.

He left it for you in his will.

I felt close to him for a second.

Dyson, he was happy.

There's an impeccable selection of vintage cabs in the keg room actually, dating all over back to...

I just happened to find a few when I was in there.

One time.

I'll get one.

I'll help.

I can't believe you had ghost sex.

It had some patented Bo... moves!

So how's back-to-life Kenzi?

She's good.

Her vitals are in check...

No, I mean... Valhalla.

An almost wedding to Hale.

It's a lot, I just... I don't know.

You should talk to her.

(Gust of wind)

So you burnt the Ouija board once the spirit became trapped?

Since when can you burn a ghost?

I'm not following.

No, it's following you!

(g*nshots)

Lauren: I thought we burnt it.

I guess we gave it corporeal form!

Should have given it a makeover.

How'd you know?

How'd you know it wasn't over?

That's the thing with the Fae.

It's never over.

OK!

We've got chardonnay, licorice, Tremors... your second fave Bacon flick, and Footloose, your number one favorite... well, everyone's number one favourite...

Bo, I can't.

What's going on?

I can't keep being the lost human in the Fae world trying to be Fae.

I'm not Fae.

That has never mattered to me.

But it does to me.

I learned so much from you.

From everyone.

But, I just lost the love of my life, Bo.

I... d*ed.

Hey, but now you're here.

Which is why I have a second chance.

And I need to try something... new.

Something... for me.

Something human?

And for the first time in I don't even remember...

I'm okay with that.

I need to go.

Kenzi?

Hale left me some Santiago land off the coast of Spain.

Wow.

You've never been out of the country.

Never even had a legitimate passport.

It seems like a sign.

We're sisters.

We're in each other's lives for good.

Hell, I couldn't even keep you out of my afterlife.

I love you, Kenzi.

Sometimes I think it's the only thing I'm completely sure about.

Goodbye, Bo.

Goodbye, Kenzi.

I know, baby, but the deposition was like, 200 pages long and the copier was, well, evil.

Stone cold evil.

Please, please tell me you ordered salads for dinner...

And by salads of course I mean two all-meat pizzas.

(Screaming)
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