02x13 - Lovesick Blues

[bunniefuu]

I know that you've been known to comment on the Mayor's physique, but I didn't...

Yeah, I like him!

And I'm divorced now, so who's to say he won't like me back?

We were in love once, and Lord help me, I still think I am.

Forget about about Lavon.

You've got Walt.

Mayor Hayes and I are friends, but we both belong elsewhere.

Glad to hear it.

I've never had a real relationship, Wade.

I don't know how to do this.

Me neither.

Sometimes you just got to wing it.

We're gonna drive each other crazy sometimes.

But you got to remember, that's part of what brought us together in the first place.

MAN (deep voice): Juices.

WOMAN (sexy voice): Strawberries.

Get your fill in Fillmore.

Man: Sweet.

Woman: Strawberries.

Get your fill in Fillmore.

Woman: All the strawberries you could ever desire.

It's strawberry season in Fillmore.

Come and get your fill.

Woman: Strawberries.

Fillmore made a damn commercial?

My pal at WYET snuck me that copy.

Bluebell's been the number one Alabama destination for strawberry picking forever.

I know.

Mayor Gainey's trying to hijack our berry business.

Looks like he might just get it, too.

Ah, yep. Just like he stole our Mardi Gras.

Mm.

Sneaky bastard.

That he is. That he is.

This commercial running already?

No, it doesn't air for another three days.

But, you know, I had a thought.

Hmm?

I ever tell you what I did freshman year at college?

You about to confess something I don't want to hear about?

I took a filmmaking class.

Why don't we just make our own commercial?

You... you think you can do that?

I won awards in that class.

Huh.

Can you have it ready in three days?

I can have it ready in two.

No, you were right, this is a nice change of pace from breakfast at Lavon's.

However...

The eggs do taste a little bit like beer, don't they?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hey, before I forget, do you want me to put your name on the list for tonight?

Your show? That's tonight?

Yeah, Mattress Police Live in Daphne.

All the cool kids are gonna be there.

(sighs) You know, it's just, it's such a crazy week.

Brick's gone, so I'm on call.

Hey, but if you need me there to do he whole "I'm with the band thing... "

Trust me, I don't, all right?

I don't need you to be my groupie.

And I don't need you to be mine.

That's kind of what makes us awesome.

To not being a couple that needs to do everything together.

To not wearing matching shirts or eating off each other's plates.

(phone vibrating)

(clears throat)

It's the Alabama Department of Health.

I got to go.

Uh, you mind if I finish your hash browns?

What did I just say?

Well...

AnnaBeth, I need some advice.

Mm-hmm.

It's Walt.

I feel that there's a storm on the horizon of our relationship.

He just called me and invited himself over to make dinner tomorrow before he goes out of town.

Oh, my God.

I know.

He wants to make me dinner.

I mean, that's code for that he hates my cooking, right?

I mean, it's over.

I don't think so.

Sweetie, he wants to have sex.

But are you sure?

Isn't that fast?

I mean, we've only been dating for a little more than eight weeks.

Eigh... eight weeks?

Mm-hmm.

Sweetie, remember when we were watching the Olympics and those opening ceremonies went on forever?

Yes, and we were like, when are we gonna see some gymnastics?

Exactly. Trust me, eight weeks is long enough.

Oh, my God.

This is something that you want to do, right?

What? Well, hell yes!

Oh, my God.

Whew! Suddenly I'm nervous.

I feel like I should do some Pilates or toning or refinish my floors or... is that normal?

Some of that, mm-hmm.

(gasps) Why can't it be tomorrow night already?

(giggles)

Okay, not to put any pressure on you, but I want to be wild.

This commercial has got to drive the Mayor of Fillmore to tears of despair.

Well, then, prepare to be wowed.

(grunts)

We open on you, the Mayor, Lavon Hayes, just strolling down the road, as you happen upon a stranded tourist, who just wants to pick strawberries.

I'm intrigued.

Her car's broken down.

She's lost.

She's confused.

But you take her by the hand and lead her right into...

(snapping fingers)

Tom, card.

Sorry, I got caught up in the drama.

Into the town of Bluebell, which comes alive before your eyes.

A strawberry paradise.

As strawberry vines reach for miles across the skyline.

Strawberry novelty cars motor down the street.

Animated strawberries float through the air.

We'll do that with green screen.

And, oh, what's that sound?

Is that Taylor Swift?

What is she singing?

That's right.

You guessed it.

"Strawberry Fields Forever."

As the two of you get into a giant, strawberry-shaped hot air balloon, you begin to float away as the residents of Bluebell assemble below you, smiling, happy, waving and shouting...

Both: "Bluebell, it's yours for the picking!"

Wow.

That sounds amazing.

You can do all this in two days?

Yes, as long as I have mandatory town participation, $1.2 million, Taylor Swift and a crane.

(laughs)

Uh, (clears throat) I want this, George, but the best I can do is, uh, $378, whoever we can convince from the town to help out and my step stool from the garage.

Deal.

(laughs)

Ah, remember, this has to be kick-ass.

You have my word.

Fillmore ass will be kicked.

(cell phone ringtone playing)

Oh, excuse me.

Of course.

Hey, Zoe.

What's going on?

It's the flu.

Department of Health called doctors all over the state.

See the red dots? Confirmed outbreaks.

Mobile, Daphne, Fairhope.

It's closing in.

The flu can't hit Bluebell, Zoe.

It'll cr*pple our commercial.

Yeah.

Oh, and... and the health of the town.

Yeah. I was on E.R. rotation in New York during H1N1; that was scary stuff.

Okay, how do you want to handle it?

As the acting medical captain of the S.S. Bluebell, I've called for reinforcements.

Rose!

What do you need, Captain?

We need an inventory of supplies.

Antivirals, hydration fluids, pain relievers...

Why the mask? You sick already?

No, but I have tickets to the Black Keys in Gulf Shores tomorrow night and my mom is finally gonna let me go.

I'm not taking any chances.

By the way, last mask.

Add it to the list.

Lemon: Did you even hear a word that I said?

Blah, blah, blah, you can't stay over tomorrow night, even though you promised Daddy that you would.

I have very important, preexisting plans.

I will be unreachable.

Let me guess.

You and Walt gonna play Chutes and Ladders all night?

You know what? Why don't I get you a babysitter.

I'll just call Delma.

No.

Lemon, I am 15 years old.

I do not need a babysitter.

Are you sure?

I'm gonna sit at home, watch TV all night, and then go to bed.

If I need you, I will text you.

Fine.

But don't need me.

(door closes)

Tina? Magnolia.

Party at my house tomorrow night.

Tell everyone.

Rose: I don't get it.

If my boyfriend were in a band, I would just die every night I couldn't be in the front row.

Well, that's because you are in high school.

With me and Wade, it's not like that.

I should call him and check in on him though.

How are the signs coming?

"Screw the flu, wash your hands."

Great, it's pithy and it rhymes.

We'll put it up in all the public restrooms, restaurants...

Wade: Hey.

Hey, what's up, Bon Jovi?

Oh, you know, usual rock star stuff: hookers, dr*gs.

About to do sound check. What you up to?

We are all on flu watch.

But I thought I'd call to say good luck.

Shake that skinny butt, Kinsella.

Sound ain't gonna check itself.

Zoe: Who was that?

That sounded like...

Lily Anne.

Think you two have met, right?

Lily Anne Lonergan?

Your wack-a-doo ex-bandmate who used to be in love with you?

You didn't tell me you were playing with her.

Oh, I sure did.

I told you it's a Mattress Police reunion.

It's not my fault you can't remember who's in the band.

Come on! You know I get superstitious about sound check.

(sighs) Look, baby, I better go before Lily Anne's head explodes into a fine mist of antidepressants and grapefruit juice.

I'll call you later, all right?

Bye.

Holy cannoli!

Wade's performing with Lily Anne Lonergan, and you're not there?

That's trouble. No!

No, it's fine.

It's not fine.

A girl like that is capable of anything.

Lily Anne Lonergan is super hot and super crazy.

It's like every guy's dream combo.

(door opens)

Zoe, I got a solution. We need to talk.

In private.

What am I looking at?

Bluebell town bylaws, clause 13C: the infectious disease ordinance.

In a state of emergency, the Mayor and the Board of Health director... that's you until Brick comes back... have the power to invoke a medical quarantine.

Meaning?

We close the border of Bluebell for 48 hours.

Close the border?

This is all because of your commercial.

Well, sure it's for the commercial.

But it's also for the health and welfare of Bluebell.

It's for you, for me, it's for all of us.

For 48 hours, no one goes out, no one comes in.

Not even someone who might be out of town with their super-hot-but-kind- of-crazy ex-girlfriend?

You want to fight the flu?

This is the best w*apon we got.

(sighs)

(doorbell rings)

Lemon. What's wrong?

The worst thing imaginable: my romantic future is on life support.

Did you hear about this immoral quarantine being imposed upon our town by Zoe Hart and Mayor Hayes?

Once again, big government just reaching into our bedroom.

Yeah, they're trying to keep the flu away.

I don't care about the flu.

I care about tomorrow night.

And if no one can get into town, then Walt can't...

What if you postpone?

No, there will be no postponing.

You yourself said that eight weeks is pushing it.

And Walt's going out of town, and what if he comes back no longer interested?

Okay, settle down.

Do you want me to get a bag for you to breathe into?

We need to stop this quarantine.

Okay, um, mm.

Did you read the fine print here?

No. My eyes were blurry with rage.

They're required to hold a town meeting to vote on the quarantine, to listen to opposing points of view.

It's all very democratic.

Great.

Let's go let the freedom ring.

Historically, quarantine has proven very effective in limiting the transmissions of communicable diseases.

Boring.

Now, come on, now, we are falling asleep back here.

Okay, look people, um, think of the quarantine as a giant shark net, and the flu is like a hungry great white, desperate to eat the people of Bluebell.

Now, it's out there, people.

But I just bought my tickets to see the Globetrotters in Daphne.

My Zumba class is out of town.

48 hours is like 48 weeks.

(crowd clamoring) Mr. Mayor!

Are we or are we not in America?

Course we're in America, but...

Well, then here in America, we have rights.

The right to come and go as we please.

Yeah. Uh, the freedom of... movement.

George: Mr. Mayor, if I may interject.

That one is actually not in the Bill of Rights, and...

Was I talking to you?! (crowd oohing)

Let's just get back to the point.

Will there be any exceptions to this quarantine?

What kind of exceptions?

Um, just spitballing, uh, let's say that somebody needs an emergency organ transplant.

Annabeth: Right! And the only organ available is an organ... out of town.

Yep.

Actually, I... I think that's a great idea.

It is?

Medically speaking, I think that it would be reasonable for someone to enter town if they can show proof of a flu vaccine.

I second that motion!

You sure about this?

Captain of the S.S. Bluebell.

All right, all those in favor, say "aye."

All: Aye!

You might just have a future in politics.

Hey, uh, Lavon?

Hey, uh, this commercial, uh... we really need to cast our girl.

The role of this tourist is key, and we need real chemistry, so I was thinking, I don't know, Wanda, maybe Babs Foster, uh, Susie the hairdresser...

It should be AnnaBeth.

Eh, AnnaBeth, I... I just don't...

I don't see...

What just happened?

You want me to be in a commercial with you?

I... I don't know.

Well, it's important to the town that this part be played by someone with an appealing energy.

A face that the audience can't help but fall in love with.

Ain't that right, George?

Yes, yes, of course, but we should discuss it.

Yeah, I'll do it.

I... I mean, if it's important to the town.

Great. Rehearsal first thing tomorrow, town square.

(chuckles): Okay!

(quietly): All right!

Okay, yeah, we really need to work on our collaborative process.

You and AnnaBeth... am I missing something here?

I just want what's best for the town.

Oh, really? Why don't you look me in the eyes and say that?

Oh, my goodness!

AnnaBeth, Mayor Hayes is totally into you.

What? No. I... I don't think...

"A face you can't help but fall in love with." Come on!

It doesn't matter.

There is no world in which I could pursue a relationship with a man Lemon once loved.

It's basic girl code.

Yes, that's true.

Girl code.

Are you still gonna do the commercial?

Well, it wouldn't be fair to deny the world my appealing energy.

Zoe: Please tell me that you're kidding.

Well, I could, but I'd be lying.

You never got a flu sh*t?

I just passed a vaccine exception to the quarantine so that you could...

Who doesn't get a flu sh*t?!

Me, all right? And you know what else I've never gotten?

The flu. You do the math, Doc.

Idiot! You do the math.

Now you can't come home for 48 hours.

Please, it's not like I got to cross a moat.

All right? Who's gonna know?

Me. I'll know. And it's the law.

You just played a concert in the middle of Flu-Ville.

Well, I guess I will have to sleep here, then.

Where exactly is "here"?

(Lily Anne speaking indistinctly)

On... a couch.

Whose couch?

(groans quietly)

It's, uh, Lily Anne's couch.

Look, don't freak out.

Me and Lily Anne, we're ancient history.

Great. You enjoy that couch.

But don't even think about all the other things that you should've been vaccinated against before sleeping on it.

Just like old times.

(clears throat) No, not until you, uh, throw a beer bottle at my head, it shatters against the wall, and the neighbors call the police.

(laughs)

Uh... hey, listen, if it's any trouble, le, an... get a hotel or...

Since when can you afford a hotel?

Well, by "hotel," I mean I could sleep in my car.

(laughs)

I'm happy to have the company.

Uh... (clears throat)

Lily Anne, just... so everything's on the table, uh, I'm still with Zoe.

(laughs): The doctor, right?

The one who said you couldn't come home tonight?

Yeah, I know.

I just say it because...

Well, just so everything's on the table, you should know this couch is really uncomfortable.

Oh.

(chuckles)

That makes two of us.

See, Bluebell's not just a place to pick strawberries.

No, Bluebell is a whole experience.

You have to say that; you're the Mayor.

Well, don't just take my word for it.

Cue the fire truck!

All: Bluebell!

It's yours for the picking!

Cue the human pyramid!

All: Bluebell!

It's yours for the picking!

Cue the hot air balloon!

Hot air balloon!

Cut on rehearsal!

Cody! Cody, where's the hot air balloon?

Sorry, George.

My cousin never called me back, but I can get you a bouncy house by noon.

A bouncy house?

Mm-hmm.

Is this a joke?

Okay, take ten minutes, everybody, while I process my disappointment.

Lavon, AnnaBeth...

Chemistry, wow. You were not lying.

I'd love to see even more of it, though.

Uh, you're the director.

Whatever you need.

Hey, A.B., you are falling for this town.

Don't be afraid of physical contact.

You know, grab his arm.

Lavon, touch her back.

We are selling a feeling here.

Mm-hmm.

Lavon: Yeah.

What the hell? Charlie, Charlie, hey!

Hey, buddy, uh, these are, these are not lunch.

These are workin' pies.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah, uh, props!

Props, we need some more pies!

Lavon: S... so, uh, you want to practice our lines, or... ?

I... I actually have somewhere to be.

Oh, no, that's fine. We don't have to...

But maybe we can meet later.

I mean, to practice. Only if you...

Maybe around dinnertime.

Uh, we can do it at my place.

Maybe around 6:00?

Great!

All right. Okay, uh, toodle-oo.

Okay. Toodle-oo!

Oh, actually, I got to...

Yeah, I'm this way.

All right.

Wade, it's me.

I haven't heard from you all day.

Give me a call. Bye.

(sneezes)

Cody, I heard that.

Step away from the licorice.

What, Doc? It's just allergies.

Put your hands where I can see 'em.

All right, come back to the office with me. Let's go!

(sighs) My seats were fifth row.

You'd have been close enough to see the Black Keys sweat.

Uh, how many times do we have to hear about this?

I just wish I had something to get my mind off my disappointment.

Right. If only someone were having a party or something.

Fine, I'll send you an evite.

(squeals) Oh, my God!

We're going to a Breeland party!

Just don't invite any of your loser friends.

Ooh, Red Vines... my favorite.

So, I think I have tonight covered.

I have my Mozart Is for Lovers CD, I have the table set, and I've narrowed it down to two outfits... the pantsuit or... a skort and a cardy. What do you think?

I... I... uh, is that your fine china?

Uh-huh.

Lemon, I say this with love, but every one of your choices is wrong.

I'm sorry.

Every one?

Tonight is not a dinner party, it's sex.

That means candles, clothes that come off quickly, replace Mozart with Rosanne Cash, and, dear God, lose the fine china.

But I never get to use it.

Sweetie, if everything goes the way it ought to, those dishes will be swept to the floor with great force.

You think that we might, um... on the table?

I certainly hope so. I want you to be prepared.

Any surface is fair game.

I just want tonight to be perfect.

I used to be good at this, I swear.

It used to be like second nature, and now I don't have the right lights, the right music, the right clothes.

Lemon, it's gonna be okay.

I don't even have the right plates for sex.

I have everything you need.

Why don't you take a short nap, get your head together, and then come over to my place.

AnnaBeth.

Hmm?

You are the best, most loyal friend in the whole world.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

(whispers): Thank you.

George? It's AnnaBeth.

I have to pull out of the commercial.

I... I think I'm coming down with the flu.

Please pass on my regrets to Lavon.

Cody: Are you sure?

This is a hundred percent accurate. It's the flu.

What happened?

Did you violate quarantine?

No.

I haven't left town in months.

All right, well, go home and straight to bed.

Don't talk to anyone; don't breathe on anyone.

Lots of aspirin and fluids.

Yes, ma'am.

(sighs)

(line ringing)

(clears throat)

(beep)

Me again. Where are you?

I am not okay with you sleeping at your ex-girlfriend's then not picking up the phone, in case you're wondering.

Also, I still cannot believe you didn't get a flu sh*t.

Call me back.

(gasps, yells)

(coughs)

What the hell? The flu?

How is this possible?

Hey, Patrick.

It's cousin Cody again.

Look, they're really pushing me on this hot air balloon; I promised you'd deliver.

Call me back.

(sneezes)

Sheesh!

Say it, don't spray it, brother.

Gesundheit!

(blowing nose)

I don't know why we can't just let people be sick at home.

It's called a containment strategy.

You know what I read?

I read that seeing live music actually helps the body fight off illnesses.

That's ironic, right?

For the millionth time, I am sorry about the concert.

This quarantine is no picnic for me, either.

I still haven't heard from Wade.

He's probably on his way to see the Black Keys.

I hear there are seats available!

See, Bluebell's not just a place to pick strawberries.

Bluebell is a whole experience.

Well, you have to say that; you're the Mayor.

Uh... cut!

Sorry, "cut"?

Uh, y... you don't get to say "cut."

George, I don't think this is working without AnnaBeth.

Uh, no offense.

Crickett: Or it could be what we're saying.

It feels real expository.

Uh, Crickett, I'm sorry.

Lavon, can I have a minute?

Yeah.

(clears throat)

Look, we're all making do here, okay?

I got half a crew, AnnaBeth's sick.

But this thing's really coming to life with you and Crickett.

Yeah, I'm... I'm just not feeling it.

You're not feeling it.

Okay, well, dude, listen, it is working.

It is working like gangbusters.

Well, not for me.

Hey, I'm... I'm thinking maybe I should go bring AnnaBeth some of my mom's chicken soup, see if I can't rally her back to health.

Okay, just so I'm clear, uh, we have a day and a half to sh**t this commercial, and you want to take AnnaBeth soup.

You're kidding me, right?

This is a joke.

No, it's really good soup.

You're the one that wanted a commercial that would put Fillmore to shame.

Yeah.

And you want to throw all that away to take your girlfriend some soup.

What?

No, no, she's not my girlfriend.

She's a... a constituent who just happens to be ill.

And as Mayor...

No, I am a constituent.

And never once have you brought me soup.

Let's just admit what's going on here.

George, sometimes soup is just soup.

I... I'll see you later.

Yeah, well, you know, sometimes soup is just...

Just not this time!

Not when it's love soup!

We're taking an early lunch, everyone.

Annabeth: Okay.

I've got two bottles of red wine, a bunch of CDs and candles for the bedroom, because light is the enemy of sex.

Okay, so I read all the parts that you highlighted... whew!... and I just have a couple of questions.

How does one even go about building a sex dungeon?

Are there, uh, specialized contractors who do that sort of thing?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Okay, here's another question.

So, I don't know, um, when in the night that I kick off the... the main event.

Is it when he first walks in the door?

Or after dinner?

Or is it during dinner?

Do I sort of just launch myself at him?

There should be no launching.

Um, you need a plan.

What's he making?

Lasagna.

Fine, here's what you do.

Watch him prepare it.

Keep the mood light and sexy, and tell him how good everything smells.

Oh, right, so I'm... I'm talking about the food, but I'm talking about him.

Yep. And then, once he puts it in the oven, (snaps fingers) it's go-time.

That way, you have 45, maybe 50 minutes, and no one's bloated from eating.

Ah!

Perfect! A.B., you are a genius.

I just want this night to be so...

(sneezes)

(shrieks)

Oh, my God.

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no.

I cannot be getting sick.

Not tonight, not tonight.

I'm sure it's just a sneeze of anticipation.

Okay, I have to go home, steam my head.

Tonight is happening.

Just have fun.

It'll all be great.

Mayor Hayes.

Lavon, what are you doing here?

I brought some soup for AnnaBeth.

I heard she's sick.

What?! You're sick?!

No!

I mean, yes, but...

Lemon: Not another word.

Tonight is too important.

I'm holding my breath now.

(inhales)

What's so important about tonight?

It's, uh, Jupiter's closest pass to the earth in years.

She's excited.

Okay, so due to the flu, we have lost all of our baton twirlers, uh, most of our dancers, and, uh, the human pyramid is now down to two, which makes it more of a human pole.

How am I supposed to make a commercial about the people of Bluebell without any people?

(sighs)

I blew it, man.

Promised Lavon that I would have a commercial that was better than Fillmore's, and I... I have nothing.

Not nothing. You got me and, uh, Ch... Charlie over there.

Who?

Oh, no.

Was this a prop pie, too?

I couldn't help myself.

It is too good.

That's it.

That's it, Tom.

You're a genius.

Yeah? I got this idea for a Web series, too...

Not now.

(sneezes)

(coughs): Oh, God.

(sighs)

(doorbell rings)

(whimpering softly)

(sighs)

(giggles)

Look at you, right on time.

I didn't want to waste a minute.

Aw.

(muffled sneeze)

(giggles)

You okay?

Oh, yeah.

I'm just excited that you're here.

(both chuckle)

(sighs)

Hello?

Is anyone here?

Rose!

You made it!

And I brought chocolate pretzels.

So, where is everybody?

What do you mean?

There's more people coming, right?

Everyone else is sick with the stupid flu, and no one else is coming.

Okay? It's just you and me.

Happy?

Maybe I should go.

No, no.

You're not going anywhere.

This is the first time I get the house to myself, and there will be a party.

(thermometer beeps)

103 degrees.

(groans): Oh.

Son of a big fat sweaty hog butt!

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to swear.

I'm not sure that you did.

(sneezes) Bless you.

Stupid Tom!

It's all his fault.

He says we have to kiss three times a day.

I told him not during flu season.

Well, I think that's sweet.

I'd kiss my boyfriend three times a day if I knew where the hell he was.

What do you mean?

Wade's right here in town.

I saw him last night in town square.

Are you sure it was Wade?

Unless he has a twin who also owns a goofy-looking red hoodie.

(coughs)

(groans)

Wade?

Open up, quarantine-breaker!

I know you're in there!

Come on, open the stupid door!

(Wade coughing)

Wade!

Oh, God.

Oh, you're burning up.

(sighs)

Zoe? Zoe?

Did you just break my window?

Zoe: Just take a sip.

You have to drink something.

I'm fine, and I don't.

If only there were an actual doctor here who knew better.

If I take a sip, will you just bring the volume down a little bit?

So, Lily Anne made a pass at you, and you bailed, you snuck back into town.

I'm not happy about it, but I get it.

I did say the thing about the volume, right?

What I don't get is how you were here, like this, the whole time I was leaving you those messages.

Yeah.

So you'd rather let me think that you had an affair than admit to breaking the quarantine?

Have some toast.

Who does that?

I'm talking to you!

It's not just about the quarantine or that I maybe almost got the whole town sick.

Not maybe, you did.

It's about this, okay?

The... the tea and the toast and the wet washcloth.

All of it.

I didn't call you back when I was sick 'cause I didn't want you trying to take care of me.

Well, what's wrong with that?

What's wrong with it is I don't want to be taken care of.

What?

By you or anyone else.

When I'm sick, I just want to be left alone, and I knew you'd be incapable of that.

I can take care of myself, all right?

I been doing it since I was ten years old.

Fine.

You want to take care of yourself?

Go for it.

You keep up the good work.

(giggles)

I don't think my kitchen has ever smelled so heavenly before.

What is that I smell?

Is that parsley and oregano... is that Sicilian clementine?

Spot-on! (laughs)

Well, the Sicilian clementine, that's... that's all me.

Don't judge, but I picked a cologne that went with what I was making.

I like a man who plans ahead.

(both laugh)

So, dinner should be ready in about...

45 minutes.

Well, I have a few thoughts about how we can k*ll some of that time.

Do you now?

Mm-hmm.

(muffled sneeze)

Bless you.

No, no, no, no, no.

Bless you, silly!

I just wanted to say that I am so...

(coughs) excited (chuckles) about dinner.

So, um, why don't you just go sit down.

Go make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back.

(chuckles)

Lavon, this is delicious.

It tastes just as good as it smells.

Seems like it's doing the trick.

You sound better already.

Oh, no, you shouldn't.

I'm super contagious.

Runs in my family.

It's okay, I got the flu sh*t.

Oh, uh, still.

I wouldn't want to take any chances.

(chuckles softly)

You should go.

You sure?

O... okay.

I'll just, uh, leave the rest of the care package.

Lavon... all this for me?

Well, yeah.

And, uh, for the town.

Because the town needs you to do the commercial.

Right. The commercial.

Yeah.

You know, whenever I had to stay home sick, my mama would give me soup and, uh, read to me from Sports Illustrated.

(chuckles)

Well...

Got the "Spring Planting" issue.

I do have some questions about my heirloom tomatoes. Hmm.

All right.

(giggles)

I'm sorry to have, uh, kept you waiting.

Oh, Lemon, you are worth waiting for.

You always have the right thing to say, don't you?

I think I'm about out of words.

(sneezes)

Oh! Hey, easy. You all right?

(laughs) You seem a little dizzy.

Uh, maybe... that is because you are... near.

Why don't you go get me a glass of wine, and I will just sit right here, and I will wait for your safe return.

Whoa! Hey, easy!

(sighs): Huh. Oh.

Hey, easy. You all right?

Yeah, it's like... it's like Disneyland in here.

Lemon, your face is burning up.

Also because you're near?

I think you have the flu.

(crying): I think so, too.

Hey, why are you crying?

Because I ruined our big night.

No, it's not ruined. It's just... postponed.

(sneezes)

Oh, God. (sniffles)

(sighs)

I understand if you want to go.

This isn't much of a farewell party at all.

Lemon...

I'm not going anywhere.

I got lasagna in the oven.

(laughs)

Okay?

(laughs)

It's gonna be all right.

(groans)

Sheesh.

Don't mind me, sick guy sleeping here.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna bring soup to you.

You can crawl over to it.

Yeah, maybe I will.

You know why I left you all those messages?

Not because I was worried about crazy Lily Anne, but because I missed you.

You weren't worried even a little bit?

We are stupid and wrong.

About what?

About us.

This relationship.

We're supposed to be there for each other all of the time.

That's the point of this whole thing.

If you're having a concert, I should be there.

I am with the band.

Apology accepted.

And if you're sick, you should call your girlfriend, who also happens to be a doctor, because in her professional opinion, you are terrible at taking care of yourself.

How bad could I be? I'm still alive, ain't I?

There are turtles that live to be 130 years old.

Doesn't make 'em geniuses.

Just means that they haven't been run over yet.

Zoe, I told you, I'm...

I know. You can take care of yourself.

Guess what, dum-dum.

You're doing it wrong.

Now that you have me, you're supposed to let me take care of you.

That's how you take care of yourself. Get it?

(phone ringing)

What kind is it?

Chicken noodle. Hey, Rose. What's up?

Ugh!

Magnolia is sick as a dog, and she won't let me leave!

Okay, I'll be right over.

Please hurry.

It's like a Stephen King story over here.

(sneezes)

"And when choosing a lawn, remember, deer never eat ornamental grass ""

I do believe I found my new daily affirmation.

(both chuckle)

(coughs) Oh.

Uh, can I get you some more soup? Oh, okay.

Or we could dive right into, uh, "Guide for Planting Collard Greens".

Huh. It is the cousin of kale.

Who knew?

You're really something, you know that?

I didn't know the Mayor made house calls.

It's no big deal.

I'm here to serve.

I bet you say that to all your constituents.

Well, not all of 'em.

No, no, no, no, no, we... we... we can't do this.

No. Oh, you're right. We... we... we can't.

Why not?

I'm very sick, so... you should go.

Thank you for the magazines and the soup.

But please go.

I hope you feel better.

(door closes)

Okay, uh, it's a little bit of a different direction, but I... I think you're gonna like it.

(clears throat)

♪

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

It's just too good!

Man: It's strawberry season in Bluebell.

Don't miss out. It's yours for the picking.

(bell dings)

(chuckles) All right.

Take that, Fillmore!

(laughs) Yeah! All right.

You know, I got half a mind to put you in charge of all Bluebell tourism from now on.

(chuckles) I... I appreciate that, Lavon, but you know what? I think it's probably time for me to go back to being a lawyer.

Well, the town thanks you, and so do I.

(sighs) (chuckles)

And, uh, George, for what it's worth, um, you were right... about the soup.

Sometimes it's not just soup.

Tell you this much, in case you were wondering, there's some real chemistry there.

Camera doesn't lie.

Knock-knock.

Lemon, are you, uh... ?

Over here.

Oh, sweetie!

The flu?

(chuckles)

It looks worse than it is.

Uh, not really.

But fortunately, I have been in the care of Dr. Walt Blodgett, D.D.S. all night.

She's got really good insurance.

And a really sweet boyfriend.

(Walt and Lemon chuckle)

Yeah, I just, uh, popped by to, you know, check in...

It's okay, A.B., I know you came to apologize.

What?

For getting me sick.

It's okay.

I mean, these things happen.

I mean, we can't go around through life holding our breath, can we?

No, we can't.

I can barely do it at all.

That's why I don't go scuba diving.

(laughs)

(Walt and Lemon laugh)

Well, I should get going.

Uh, but if you need anything...

Oh, I think I got everything I need right here.

But thank you, A.B.

You're the best.

Your fever broke. You're gonna live.

I had the weirdest hallucinations.

I dreamt that I was friends with Rose.

Hilarious. Remind me to never save your life again.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Really? No one else is warm?

(knocking)

I... I... I just came by to return this and to thank you for everything.

You're welcome.

And to tell you that last night was a mistake.

It can't happen again.

I agree 100%.

Just so we're clear, what part are we talking about?

The part where I brought you soup?

No.

The part where I read the, uh, article about organic mulch to you?

No.

Okay.

Well, I guess we're talking about the part where we almost did this.

♪

Wade: Welcome back, Doc.

(sighs)

Guess who's got the flu.

What time is it?

I have patients.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy there, Sparky.

You're not going anywhere.

Whole town's on the mend.

I can't just stay here.

You can, and you will.

Spending the day in bed; I'm taking care of you.

You're taking care of me?

Yeah. It's how this works, right?

You take care of me, I take care of you.

I think I heard that somewhere.

(whispers): Yeah.

Hey, I, uh... I brought you some soup.

I'm not hungry.

Got to have a little bit.

Not open to discussion.

Come on.

No, Wade, I can't.

I can feed you intravenously if I have to.

I watched a YouTube video. I can get it done.

Fine.

All right.

Do you have crackers?

Of course I do.

All right, now, I don't have as many as I had.

I got hungry waiting for you to wake up, so I snacked a bit.

But, uh, you'll get your crackers...