03x16 - Carrying Your Love with Me

[bunniefuu]

Warner brothers bought my book for six figures!

Get out of here! That's awesome!

I'm so sorry about Lavon.

How are you?

Fine as I can be.

Given that my heart is crushed, and I'm probably gonna die alone and whatnot.

Joel, what's the matter?

I have to go to Los Angeles.

How long are you gonna be gone?

They said six months.

S...?

Hello there, Lord Joel.

It's me, Emily Bronte.

And I'm about to write my next great novel.

Right after I take off all these clothes.

(Clears throat)

Ooh, it's stuck.

All these clothes.

Come... on!

Oop!

Zoe, what's, uh, what's going on here?

I was making a video for you to take to L.A.

Something to remember me by in those lonely moments.

Are you Emily Brontë?

You said she had a sexy brain.

(Laughs)

Will please help me up?

(Laughing): One sec.

Wait, what are you doing?

Stop it, no, don't you...!

I'm sorry, this is how I want to remember you.

All tangled up in a corset because you tried to do a literary striptease for me.

I'll tell you, I don't need a video.

Because you, Zoe Hart, are unforgettable.

Just please cut me out of this thing!

Sounds kind of hot.

(Botlaugh)

Really? Mm-hmm.

(British accent): Really?

Mayor Hayes?

Hello, Rose.

You can call me Madam Ambassador.

My school just elected me attache for our sister city's visitors.

Congratulations.

Wait a second.

What-what sister city? What-what visitors?

The visitors from the town of Clochebleue in Alsace-Lorraine of course.

A bunch of French people are coming to Bluebell?

Just as soon as you e-mail their mayor and arrange it.

Bonjour, Lavon?

Every ten years a contingent from one sister city visits the other.

This decade it's our turn to host.

Okay, Rose, I get that you want this.

But, you know, hosting some boring French mayor dude's the last thing I need right now.

No, no, the mayor Eloise Tiberghien is a woman.

A former ballerina actually.

Wade: Ooh-la-la.

I'll tell you what, dude.

The way you've been moping around here the last few weeks, a short visit from a hot French ballerina might be just what you need.

Oui.

Yeah, you might be right.

(Groans)

Oh!

God, Lemon!

Don't you ever knock?

I thought this would be more dramatic.

Plus I brought you breakfast and an amazing idea.

Well, next time bring me a deadbolt and some pajamas, please.

(Laughs) Your modesty is so adorable.

But after 15 years of being together, trust me, I know every little nook and cranny.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

It's time for you to get off my boat.

Just as soon as you hear my idea.

As you know, Shelby is selling Fancie's and I intend on buying it.

But I face two minor hurdles.

One...

You don't have the money.

And two...

Shelby won't sell you Fancie's 'cause your dad tried to sabotage her cabaret.

15 years.

Goes a lot deeper than nooks and crannies.

That's why I know what you're gonna say next.

No, you don't.

You want me to purchase Fancie's in my name, sell you half and be your business partner.

No, I want you to purchase Fancie's in your name, sell me half and be my silent partner.

No, no, no way.

George, you need this nearly as much as I do, okay?

To fill in that void left from that crazy line of women that you've been dating.

By going into business with the craziest one of all?

No, thank you.

Me? Yeah.

But me? Yeah!

I'm the crazy one in this scenario.

Uh-huh. George, that is...

That is... Rich!

You know what? Offer is revoked.

At least leave breakfast, you...

Todd: Today I brought you to the base of an active volcano to remind you... activate!

He makes me feel like so much less of a man.

As you swing through the hitting area...

Woman: Look, there's Joel!

Man: There's Joel!

(Gasps)

They're here.

What?

Joel.

Stanley and I so appreciated having another artist in our midst.

So we have prepared a number for you.

? Oh, Joel Stephens ?
? We'll miss you so, don't leave, don't leave ?
? We just hate to see you go ?
? Oh, please don't leave ?
? Your talent got you far ?
? You're gonna be a star ?
? So, Joel Stephens, can we have some parts ?
? In your movie? ?

Oh, oh, I... No, I-I don't think that I'm really in charge of those decisions.

Well, we're classically trained.

Yup. Hi! Ah, Joel!

I'm gonna miss you, man.

I-I got you a-a box set of Games of Thrones.

Figured you could watch it on the plane.

What? That is amazing, man.

Thank you so much.

Very nice.

Joel, let's go sit.

Yeah, thanks.

Oh, no! Not you, too?

Shut up.

(Laughs) Hey, man, I even got an e-mail account so we can stay in touch.

All right? All the time, buddy.

All right. All right.

(Cell phone ringing) Oh.

Ooh, it's my new agent David.

Hold on a sec. Ooh.

Hey, David, hi! You okay?

Dr. Hart?

Yes?

You can't let Joel Stephens leave.

He's not leaving.

It's an extended business trip.

We are committed to making this work.

If Joel goes, then you two will break up.

And then he won't come back.

Don't be silly.

We just bought a house together.

In Bluebell.

We won't even go more than two weeks without seeing each other live in person.

It's not a big deal.

It's a huge deal! You have to realize that!

99% of long-distance relationships break up.

What? No, they don't.

Uh, it's a proven fact.

Science, look it up.

Fine.

(Sighs)

(Clears throat)

See? It's not 99%!

It's 75. Oh.

Well, this is a stupid study.

Make him stay, please!

Not just for my happiness.

But for yours.

Sorry, uh, David's just got all these meetings set up for me when I get out...

Hey, you okay?

Yes, I'm great.

So great.

Ooh, ladies?

Are you aware that it is less than a month till the man of the year?

And I am finally gonna win!

Oh, no, daddy, not this again.

No, no, no, no!

The stars have finally aligned!

George was holed up in the shamrock motel.

And he was dating Lavon's crazy-eyed cousin.

No one is gonna vote for him again.

And Lavon as mayor is ineligible.

And Harley, rest his soul, is dead.

And Magnolia is no longer around to taint my reputation.

? Moty is mine ?
? Moty is mine! ?

That is great, Brick.

If there's anything we can do...

Oh, A.B.?

As co-head of the Belles, you can procure an endorsement.

Ooh.

Well.

I suppose.

Daddy, you know what? Um, let's face it.

You've been a lot pricklier than usual this past year.

So how about you work on your demeanor for the next few weeks and then A.B. can approach the Belles?

My demeanor? There's nothing wrong with my demeanor!

Woman: Dr. Breeland?

Little Grace Ann has a tummy ache again.

If you are going to vomit, you will use a bucket.

And not the front of my shirt again.

You understand me, young lady?

(Lemon clears throat)

Uh, and two stickers for you today.

Two... right-right in here.

Oh, hey, Zoe.

How-how are you doing?

Do you guys think that long-distance relationships can actually work?

If any can, it's yours and Joel's.

When George was in Europe, we were long distance, too.

Right!

Mm-hmm.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear!

(Cell phone ringing)

Babs, what's up?

What?!

(Whistling)

You stupid, stupid man!

Because of you, Shelby leased Fancie's to someone else!

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

But I stand by my decision.

Oh, yeah? Want to know who she leased it to?

Lily Anne: George!

Lemon.

I've had a revelation.

So I'm leasing Fancie's.

Thought it would be the perfect place to debut my new material about my favorite muse.

No!

Yes.

(Indistinct announcement over p.A.)

Zoe? Hmm?

Are you okay?

Yes.

I have the best idea ever.

I'll go to L.A. with you.

I will go home and pack and I'll catch the next flight.

What?

I asked you to come with me a week ago.

And you said that a) You hated L.A., b) You just got back to Bluebell, c) You didn't want to be a groupie.

And then back to a) again.

Uh, L.A. will grow on me.

I'll get implants. I'll juice!

(Laughs)

I don't, I don't want you to give up your life for me.

75% of long-distance relationships break up.

So what?

Today the weatherman said there was an 80% chance of rain, and there's not a cloud in the sky.

Look, Zoe, we are going to make it.

I promise you.

Let me hear you say it.

We're gonna make it.

Yeah.

(Thunder crashes)

(Car alarm chirps)

(Thunder crashes)

(Car horn honks)

(Seagulls calling)

(Birds singing)

(Buttons beeping)

(Line ringing)

Good morning, Joel.

Whoa!

What's, uh, what's going on here?

Well, I finally figured out a way to get you to choose some tile samples.

First tell me the ones that you don't like and I will remove them.

And then the ones left, we will put in our new kitchen.

So we're picking tiles based on the body parts I want to see first?

Well, it's as good a system as any.

I love it.

Tell you what, let's... Why don't you take off the gray one?

(Whispering): Uh, gray... Which gray one?

That one.

(Whooshes)

(Phone chiming) Oh.

Oh, no, no, don't answer it.

It's David.

I'm sorry, one second, I gotta take this.

Hey, David.

Well... why does she think...?

(Stuttering): Hold on one sec.

Sorry, honey, I gotta go deal with this.

We still have 38 tiles to go.

(Laughs) Look, I promise I will make it all up to you when you get here tonight.

Fine.

My flight gets in at 8:00 your time, I can't wait.

Me neither.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Wait, no! You gotta pick a tile, because we need to pick... A tile!

(Sputters)

Looks like a man who needs a button.

Oh! Patty, Prizzi, don't you look so pretty today.

You're an angel.

You are so sweet! It's just my new lip liner...

It's my new baby cream, smoothes the lines. plumps them right up.

Both: Wait. Are you talking about her?

(Stutters) Both.

Both.

Uh, I assure you... Uh, Wanda, how is that adorable baby goat?

Tell me about it. It's your worst nightmare.

Lily Anne debuted four new songs last night.

Oh, God, don't tell me.

Wait, tell me.

Locked in the shamrock Sad lawyer rides again I object and Sad lawyer rides again again I mean, seriously, are all of her songs really about me?

Not all... she's still singing her old standards like...

Run from Wade Hey, Tucker, Vivian went over to Fancie's last night with a coworker.

I spent hours explaining to her that Lily Anne takes a certain, uh, poetic license with the facts.

We need to get her the hell out of town.

I could not agree more.

Well, well, well. (Laughs)

The tides have turned. Have they not, boys?

I will help you remove this blight to your name if you do something for me in return.

Yeah, whatever, Lemon. (Sighs)

Nope, nope, don't even say it.

If I succeed, George buys Fancie's with me.

No. N-no, that's a terrible idea.

Owning a business together is like being married, but without any of the good parts.

You and I were partners, Lemon, 'cause we didn't have any history.

But you and Tucker. (Laughs)

No. Thank you. Thank you.

That's what I've been saying.

That's what I'm still saying.

But he is the only one with both the cash reserves and the cache with Shelby. No!

You know, I hear Lily Anne's planning on recording Live from Fancie's album.

So, I'll go reserve that on iTunes right now.

(Overlapping arguing)

I think you'd make great partners. I'll do it.

Yeah.

So, the key is to get into Lily Anne's head.

Convince her that Fancie's is not for her.

I mean, she's absolutely nuts, so that'll be easy to do.

So, what are some things that freak Lily Anne out?

Kittens, hammocks. Carbon monoxide.

Monoxide. Yeah, laryngitis.

Smokers. Oranges.

Norwegians.

Both: Ghosts.

Well, boys... I guess we'd better get a-hauntin'.

Oh, no, no.

The Belles endorsed Stanley?

Not Crickett's husband Stanley.

So, I am so sorry, Brick.

Everyone could see how hard you've been trying.

But, um... Stanley threw the girls a Botox party.

Why didn't I think of that? I'm the doctor!

Look, you can still turn this around if you win over the owls.

No, I'll-I'll try, but I-I can't tell you what disappointing news this is.

I've been watching my temper.

I've been trying to stay calm.

(Children coughing)

What in the holy hell is going on here?

A stomach flu outbreak at the elementary school.

Oh, good grief.

Uh, uh, I'll get the disinfectant.

No one touch anything!

No one!

Ignore him, Hazel.

I'm gonna make your tummy feel all better, okay?

Oh. (Chuckles)

(Phone rings)

Oh, sorry.

You know what, uh, that's my boyfriend, I should get this.

Brick: Where's the disinfectant?!

Please don't leave me with that mean man.

Okay. Uh, you know what, let's go in the exam room.

I'm going to see Joel tonight anyway.

? He came here in misery ?
? Grew a beard like Bob e. Lee ?
? And they handed him a motel key ?
? Now he's stuck in the shamrock motel ?
? His life ain't been going so... ?

(Laughs)

(Laughs) Well, Lemon breeland, is that you?

Lily Anne, how are you? (Laughs)

I just love what you have done with this place.

I'm so sorry I haven't been to your show.

I hear that it is superlative.

That is so sweet of you.

Oh... and you know what, good for you for not listening to all those silly rumors.

Thanks! Yeah!

Wait, what, what rumors?

(Man humming ghastly tune over phone)

Sounds good. That was badass.

All right, uh... I'll set a timer?

It'll go off every three hours.

All right, uh, I'll get the light and I'll rig the furniture.

Okay, sounds good.

You know how shelby left this place because she thought it was haunted?

Shelby is just so silly, right?

Right.

Rose: Nous sommes très très excités pour votre visite.

Ce sera le point culminant de notre décennie.

Vous et votre ville serez traités comme des rois!

U-uh, yeah, wh-what she said.

Hello, uh, I-it's uh, me, mayor Lavon Hayes, and I-I can't wait to meet you, too. (Chuckles)

Converse mayor to mayor.

My English is not so good.

Uh, not so good at all, I'm afraid, but, uh...

For a mayor, you are très handsome.

Uh... likewise, uh... I mean, you-you are very beautiful. (Laughs)

And-and very smart.

And-and excellent in all you do...

I'm sure.

I wish I could understand, but, uh...

Ah, well, enchantée, monsieur.

Yeah. Bye.

(Computer beeps)

(Whoops)

Mayor Hayes, no offense, but it's clear, if you wanna tap that, you're gonna have to learn the lingo.

That is not... wha... What are they teaching in Bluebell's schools?

No, no, no, look, look, I just want to make a good impression for the town.

For the, for the country.

Sure you do. Maybe one of y'all could teach me French.

You should get a CD, apprenez à  parler français.

Apprehend a, a par-parlor France.

(Laughing) Yeah, you'd better start now.

Okay.

(Radio static)

(Floorboards creaking)

(Screaming)

Zoe: Okay, so just some ginger ale, some crackers once she starts feeling better.

Okay.

Oh... hey, Brick, I have to go.

I'm so sorry to leave you here with all these sick kids, but it's Joel's only free window for the next two weeks.

Yeah, yeah. Just be back by Monday morning.

Zoe, you know what, you should go.

You're late and you're gonna miss your flight.

Are you okay?

I don't think I'm going anywhere.

Good morning, beautiful friend.

(Laughs)

Good morning, beautiful cousin.

Wade.

Ow!

Bonjour, a-apprenze français.

Ah oui, continue le bon travail, Lavon.

Bonjour, a-apprenze français.

(Chuckles) Keep pluggin', pal.

You seem to be in a good mood.

'Cause you're gettin' laid tonight.

Wade.

But yes, after a long, long month, Joel's coming for the weekend.

(Overlapping chatter)

No, no, no, no, no.

Joel is spending the entire weekend with me.

We have a ton of stuff to do for the house.

Okay, 'cause tonight we are shopping for curtains and a bed, and we are picking out our closet design.

And then tomorrow we're picking out wood panels and bathroom fixtures, and then tomorrow night we're going to paint samples on the wall of our house and have a picnic in what will be our dining room.

So we can decide what color we want to spend the rest of our lives looking at.

(Overlapping chatter)

Well, I think it sounds wonderful, Zoe.

It's very romantic.

I love having another girl here.

Anyway, Joel and I will make an appearance at breakfast on Sunday.

You will see him then.

(Phone chiming) Whoa.

It's him.

Hey, Joel. I'm so excited. Where are you?

Layover in Denver. It's-it's snowing.

There are no more planes taking off tonight.

I'm just, I'm not going to be able to get in until tomorrow afternoon.

I'm so sorry.

No. It's, it's okay.

I'll-I'll see you then.

(Indistinct announcement over p.A.)

Uh, yeah... you can forget the pancake breakfast.

Dash? Hmm?

I was thinking for the musical this year, we should do my fair lady.

You would make a stellar Henry Higgins.

Well, indeed I would. (Laughs)

And I think I could convince shelby to play eliza.

I mean, you know, she is the best singer this town's ever seen.

(Laughs) But-but Shelby's off with the lieutenant governor in the capital.

But now our next best thing is Crickett, who happens to be married to Stanley.

I see.

Who just bought the men of the owl society those brand-new vacuums.

His brother owns a vacuum store.

Are-are you telling me that I'm gonna lose Moty to Stanley?

Well, they come with a new hepa filter.

A lot of allergies in the owls.

Oh... I have to go.

Well... Have you heard?

The new ownership of Fancie's is a disaster.

George and Lemon's nonstop fighting made three servers quit yesterday.

People say they actually miss Lily Anne.

More servers quit?

Well, the, the opening is a week away!

Apparently their fighting's gotten so bad...

Even Crickett and Stanley quit.

Thanks, Murphy. Enjoy the game, bro!

Next brewsky's on me. (Laughs)

Hey, you know... Murphy, I'm sorry about Lemon. She... (Laughs)

She had a stroke last week.

Oh, that happened to my grandma.

I'm sorry to hear that.

How dare you apologize for me?

Well, Lemon, bros, brewskies, you don't talk like that, it's insulting.

I speak their language.

Those vendors happen to love me.

I would know because I have run a restaurant before.

Oh, here we go with that again!

Guess what. Those vendors, they do not love you.

They tolerate you because you give them business.

And because I'm constantly apologizing for your behavior like I did when we took that trip to Mexico.

Just because I was speaking Spanish!

It was insulting!

I was blending in!

In Mexico, they speak español.

They don't speak espanola Okay. You know what? I was adding some continental flair.

(Lisping): Because that is how they speak in Spain.

(Lisping): Well it was painful.

Both: How could I forget how annoying you are?!

What's up, guys?

Wade, he's driving me crazy!

Wade, she's driving me crazy!

It's so embarrassing what she does!

He's so patronizing! The way she talks to the vendors!

And you know they hate it! You know the vendors adore me! You know it doesn't work, man!

I so told you that working together was a bad idea.

So cut the crap.

Look around you, all right.

Your restaurant opens in a week and it ain't half-finished.

Now you both have sunk a bunch of money into this enterprise.

So if I were you, I'd stop arguing and maybe start working a little bit.

You're right. You got a point.

I got my own restaurant to run, so if you don't mind, sayonara and good luck. No, Wade, you cannot leave.

No, you cannot leave. You cannot leave us alone. This is the first time in a week that we haven't been at each other's throats. Please, please, Wade.

What? You want me to sit around here and be y'all's buffer?

That would be awesome, actually.

That is a great idea.

No!

Y'all do need a buffer.

I'll see what I can do.

She's turned my office into a hardware store.

Oh, you were right to call me.

Zoe? Hmm?

What are you doing?

Oh, there's more flight delays, so Joel isn't getting in till late tomorrow night.

And then six hours later, he has to turn right back around, which means we only have six hours to figure out all the things going into our house for always and forever.

So I bought a bunch of choices, and I was gonna put them in the house, but the cement was still wet. So I'm holding them here so we can pick as soon as he arrives. What?

Nothing. That's perfectly sound.

Fix it. - Big Z, this is only the first visit out of many.

You don't have to do all this stuff today.

Yes, I do.

Joel and I are growing apart.

I can feel it, okay? So I have to show him how great our future in Bluebell is going to be.

Okay.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pick up some bathtubs.

Zoe...

Poivre fillet deux. Donc erroné.

Two pepper fillets? Erroneous?

No-no. I meant to say, poor misguided girl.

Oh. Pauvre fille douce, si erronée.

Yes, I'm fluent in French.

See, you think a skill like that would sway the owls club man of the year contest, but no, no, no.

You know, as mayor, I hold some sway with the owls.

And I really need to learn French.

So how about you and I help each other out?

(Chuckles)

You're here!

I missed you.

Oh, my God, you're four hours late!

I noticed. We sat on the runway, no snacks.

I'm-I'm exhausted.

Well, we don't even have time to look at all the stuff I got for the house. Could you maybe change your return trip?

I've got breakfast with Soderbergh, and it's really important, or I would.

You know that, right?

Yeah. No, right, of course.

Well, we have, like, an hour and a half.

You want to get some dinner around here?

We can shop for fixtures online.

Yeah, or-or maybe we could just make out in your car.

I like the way you think, my friend.

(Chuckles)

(Horn beeps)

Joel: Oh, hang on, that's not gonna work.

What, are you okay?

Yeah, you come over here.

Yeah, okay. Oh!

Ow, ow.

Oh! I'm sorry! Sorry.

No, it's okay. It's okay...

Sorry. You all right?

Oh! Yeah. Ow! Oh!

Just... oh, geez. Are you all right?

Uh, yeah. I don't think the prius is ideally designed for this sort of thing.

Yeah, I think you're right.

I'm gonna try and get out.

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

(Grunts)

(Sighs)

You know, I probably have to get back to the gate.

Anyway, I am, I'm starving.

I need to get something to eat before my next 11-hour journey.

I'm sorry.

? ?

I love you.

I love you, too.

? ?

(Sighs)

(Sobs)

Wow, I take it the frenchies are finally arriving tonight?

Oui, mes amis. J'attends avec impatience leur arrivée.

Oh. Vive la France.

Nice! Tonight's gonna be awesome.

17 of our visitors are male.

Ah, bonjour, mon professeur préféré.

Oh, c'est bon. Bonnes nouvelles! Bonnes nouvelles!

Dash dit que les hiboux se penchent vers moi.

Bon.

No, I didn't get that.

Dash says he's in the lead for Moty.

Congratulations.

Oh, as we say en français, aw, yeah.

(both laugh)

Hi, Zoe.

Are those your pajamas? (Clears throat)

They're really fashionable.

Haven't see you in a while.

You want to join me for some pancakes?

No, thanks.

Hey, can I, um, just get a coffee?

Black coffee?

All right, but you gotta give me a smile, sunshine.

I'll go to the butter stick.

Meatball, tell George to maybe stop tasting all the appetizers and start polishing the silverware.

Yes.

Hey, Meatball, can you tell Lemon to get back in the kitchen?

Marcel's having another breakdown 'cause she changed the menu again!

Yes. But first, George, please polish the silverware.

I know.

(Clears throat)

Yes, yes, I heard.

Great! Well, that's the end of my shift.

So, good luck.

Can't wait for the big opening tonight.

Wait-wait-wait-wait!

Your replacement has not gotten here yet.

No, no, no, you cannot leave us alone, please.

No sweat, no sweat, I'm here, GT, Lemon, I'm here.

Peace. Y'all can get to work. Thank God.

Thank you, Wally, thank you, Meatball.

I can't believe this buffer system is working.

They should definitely consider trying it in the middle east.

So, you think the finger's broken, doc?

Oh, it's broken. But that's okay.

I'm gonna tape it to the other finger.

Oh. Yeah, it's gonna lean on that finger.

And that finger's gonna support it.

Want to know why? Huh?

(Voice breaks): Because it's right there next to it, where it should be.

Uh, could I maybe get a second opinion?

Either that or fire her.

Dr. Hart, this is enough.

You need to see Joel.

I know. I'm going there next week.

Although I'm 90% sure there'll be an earthquake.

Which is why you must go now.

Get on the next flight. Surprise him!

Oh, you must. You definitely must.

Annabeth: Spontaneous and fun!

Consider that an order.

Thank you.

Edward, welcome! I hope you like what I've done with that place.

What we've done with the place.

They've both worked so hard.

Well, you both have done the legacy of Fancie's proud.

Oh... but what is that buffer pin about?

Oh, oh, he, uh, buffs the floor.

That's why it's so shiny.

Ah. If you'll excuse us.

Thank you. All right.

I cannot believe we really did it.

No, me neither. (Chuckles)

So, will you be going back to full-time lawyering now?

Yes. Um, however, I will not be leaving you to run this place all by your lonesome.

I still will be involved in every single one of the major decisions.

Well, I guess we should hire a full-time buffer, then.

That is a given.

Cheers to our success.

(Clears throat) George?

Oh, Connie. Hi. Uh, welcome to Fancie's.

Oh, I won't be eating here.

I just came to tell you that my client Lily Anne Lonergan will be suing the both of you for unlawful intimidation tactics.

Excuse me?

George: This is just ridiculous.

Lily Anne told me about the ghost sound that she heard.

Well, maybe the place is haunted.

Maybe it is. Which is why I hired a crew to go in and check the source of the noise.

Lo and behold, they found an mp3 player in the wine rack.

Could be humiliating to your law career, Tucky.

(Fanfare plays)

? Allons enfants de la patrie ?
? Le jour de gloire est arrivé ?
? Contre nous de la tyrannie ?
? L'étendard sanglant est levé ?
? L'étendard sanglant est levé ?
? Entendez-vous dans les campagnes. ?

Bonsoir. I am Rose, and we are so, so excited to have you guys here.

Uh, bonsoir. Je suis Lavon Hayes, le maire de cette ville.

Je m'appelle Jean Claude.

I am the deputy mayor of Clochebleu.

Thank you for having us.

Nice to meet you.

Uh, but, uh, where is your mayor?

You know, the one with the not deputy, and the smile that turns your insides out?

She is très busy with her husband and children, and sent me.

Oh. As the French say, les poop.

(Chuckles, clears throat)

? ?

Actor: Caesar doth decree that...

Cut! Let's go again right away.

Joel!

Zoe?

Hi! Surprise!

Best surprise ever!

Hi! Oh!

Oh, my God, it's so Hollywood here!

Hey, I want to introduce you.

This is my producer, Jeff Powell.

Jeff, this is my girlfriend, Zoe.

You have a great look! Have you ever considered acting?

(Laughs) Oh, no, thanks.

I think the idea of anyone thinking I could be anything other than a doctor is ridiculous.

Has she heard the great news?

Uh, no, actually, not yet.

The movie's fast-tracked.

And I'm not letting this genius leave my side.

(Laughs)

We're all going to London in July.

Hope you like Great Britain, Zoe.

Great Britain.

With the, uh, queen and the-the Europe?

Yes. Great.

Britain!

Great.

(Sighs)

You're going to London instead of back to Bluebell?

Why didn't you tell me?

You know, look, we just found out, and...

And I didn't know how to tell you.

Well, how are we gonna handle this?

You can come with me.

You know, come on, take a year off and just... be with me.

London's amazing.

A year?

I'm not allowed to practice medicine in Europe.

You know how insane that makes me.

Plus, you're gonna be on set all the time.

I'm gonna be all by myself.

(Sighs)

You're right.

And I-I know how much Bluebell means to you.

But... (Laughs painfully)

I don't want make the choice between my dream job and my dream girl.

There is no choice.

This is an amazing opportunity for you and I don't want you to give it up.

You can't give it up.

Well... I mean, what does that mean?

Is that another year of long distance?

We've had enough trouble making it work while you were here.

I mean, think about a transatlantic relationship.

Well, yeah, but... What other choice do we have?
? ?

Mayor Hayes!

Ah. May I just say, uh, your town, it's... it's lovely.

You know, we are having a super time.

Oh, great.

That is good to hear, you know? Yeah.

And that's all that really matters.

Yeah. Oh, uh... I realize that, uh, this is cliché of me, but, uh...

There is a pretty girl I have my eyeballs on.

And, uh...

Oh-ho-ho.

I was hoping that you could provide an introduction.

Who?

Uh...

Her?

Yeah. Whew!

Yeah, in America, we introduce ourselves.

Well, it is official.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

Lily Anne is back running Fancie's.

Yep. (Sighs)

Here's to a lifetime of songs about me, and hoping that Lily Anne hates you enough to spread the wealth.

Well, we deserve it.

Yep.

Mmm. Ooh... Another, please.

Okay. (Laughs)

I do gotta tell you, though, I feel like we dodged a b*llet. 'Cause you and me working together? Bad idea.

Terrible idea.

Uh-huh. So terrible.

It's like... everything that I tolerated about you for the past 15 years just started to drive me insane again. Like the way that you clear your throat every time that you walk into a room.

Or the way you clickety-clack your nails on every possible surface.

(Laughing): Oh, yeah?

Well, how about how stubborn you are?

Oh, how stubborn I am? Yeah.

Again? Mm-hmm.

? We wrote that song together ?
? In the rammer jammer bar ?
? Then we traveled together ?
? Down that road really far ?
? You abandoned me ?
? When push came to shove ?
? I'm not a lawyer ?
? But I object to your love ?

So she's afraid of, um... Kittens, uh, hammocks, carbon monoxide poisoning...

Smokers, laryngitis, Norwegians, oranges, um... Hey, Lily Anne.

Hello, scourge of the earth.

Hey, I wanted to introduce you to my girlfriend, the lovely miss Vivian Wilkes.

You know... mend fences and whatever.

Welcome back to town.

Well, I'm gonna look around.

See what you got going on here.

(Whispering): Lead with carbon monoxide.

Vivian... Hard name to rhyme.

I could try and scare you away, but I figured I would appeal to your talent.

Hmm. Singing songs about the people who live here...

That'll be funny for a while.

But people aren't gonna keep coming around to see their friends and neighbors get dumped on.

It's just a bit of... business advice.

Also, you should know that I'm a part of the Norwegian Wilkes clan.

We raise cats and oranges, and our cars have a lot of exhaust.

Consider this your one and only warning.

Ready to hit the road, babe?

Absolutely.

Uh... (Sniffs)

Come here.

Mmm... (Chuckles)

Oh... I just want you to know that...

You changed my life.

You know? You made me so happy.

Whoa, hold on a second.

Don't talk about me in the past tense.

We agreed this is just a break.

It's not over.

Okay.

I should go, I don't want to miss my flight.

Hey.

It's just a break.

Just while I do the movie, and then as soon as it's finished, I'm gonna come back to Bluebell.

When it's finished, you are going to be a big screenwriter, and you're gonna move here, or back to New York, and go on with your life.

No, I am coming back, I promise you.

This is not good-bye, it's just a break.

Okay?

Okay.

Well... Good... break, Joel.

Good break.

(Chuckles)

Bye.

Rose: Good morning, tout le monde.

(Speaks French)

Every year, our local men's club, the Bluebell owls, chooses a man of the year.

It's kind of like your legion of honors medal, but from a bunch of middle-aged men who like to hoot.

(Men hooting)

I don't see how anyone can look so glum on such a fine, fine day.

How's that for a reason?

And he ran the missed field goal all the way back to win the game! Oh!

Because Auburn is a far superior team.

Annabeth, I could listen to you talk about this American football until the end of time.

Well, are... are you hitting on me?

Because I just... well, it's just, I got out of a serious relationship.

Oh, dear.

(Hooting)

(Applause)

Dash: Ladies and gentlemen, this year's man of the year is, uh, a true inspiration.

His dedication to his career has inspired us all to make our own work a little bit better.

It took us a while to get used to... his ways, but, um... (Chuckles) he slowly wormed his way into our hearts with his kindness, his humor, and his sheer will.

And we also love the way he loved our own Dr. Hart.

Our man of the year... Mr. Joel Stephens.

(Applause)

Oh, man.

I am so sorry.

Dash: As we all know, Joel is off in Hollywood...

(Laughs) ...Becoming famous.

So is there anyone here who will accept on his behalf?

Anyone here... To accept on his behalf?

Zoe: I will.

(Applause)

Thanks.

I-I know just how much this award would mean to Joel.

He really grew to love it here.

And-and we loved him.

A lot.

So much.

But you know, um... things happen.

And opportunities arise.

And he says that he's coming back, but...

We know that he's not.

Um... (Choked up): He would be so proud of this.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna take this home, you know, so I-I can remember him.

Thank you so much.

(Applause)

Dash: Thank you, everybody.

That concludes our presentation.

Did you know?

No.

Poor Zoe.

Poor Zoe?

Poor Zoe.

And-and where's Lemon?

She ought to be here.

She must be with George.

I should go find 'em, tell 'em the good news.

'Cause, you know, it's official.

Babs just told me. They got Fancie's back.

Oh. (Chuckles)

? ?

(Quietly): Oh, God.

? ?

(Knocking at door)

It's me.

Brought ice cream.

(Knocking at door, door opens)

Wade: I brought fries.

Tissues.

Hugs.

Move over.

(Knocking at door)

Leave room for me.

I brought a breakup pie.

Ooh! Whoa.

Is that breakup pie?

(Laughs) Good.

Uh, Lemon's not here, is she? Okay, good.

(George laughs)

Hey... You gonna be okay?

Eventually, yeah.

I got all of you guys.

How could I not be?

Aw... yeah.

That bed is so soft...

(Talking, laughing)

We brought cake.