04x01 - Hole in the Wall

[bunniefuu]

Кога?

After breakfast.

The lights down so much you can do it yourself.

I put `em up there.

You have got to learn to mutter quieter, 'cause I heard that.

That was the point!

What the heck?

Dear lord.

Sherman?

Call the police!

What is that?

Well, sure as sh*t it ain't Santa Claus.

Phone's ringin´ Raylan.

Thank you, Donny.

Donny?

It's from Lebowski Netflix it, you can be one of the cool kids.

Givens.

Deputy Givens, this is Sharon Evans.

I do bail bonds in Knoxville.

Okay.

We met at a law enforcement expo in Miami a few years ago.

Want another one?

Not of that.

Oh, I'm sorry, I remember you.

We, uh, had a drink.

Several.

From my mini-bar.

I believe I also remember you polishing off a $20 tin of macadamia nuts.

Yes, the most overrated of the nuts.

Is that why you're calling?

You want me to pay my fair share?

No, I like it better you owing me.

But this isn't a personal call, Raylan.

I saw you're with the eastern district of Kentucky now.

I need a hand up there.

You interested?

Raylan: I haven't hung up.

Jody Adair, 41, charged with double homicide, out on a quarter-million bail, skipped town two days ago.

He's got an ex-wife in Lexington.

You put eyes on him, I get Lexington P.D. To haul him in, and I'll make it worth your while.

Raylan: Chuckles.

Meaning?

How about three grand?

Raylan: Send me the address and a photograph.

All right.

[ Cellphones beep ]

Raylan: You think you can manage the phones?

I'm gonna go out for a bit.

Rachel: Where you going?

Raylan: Oh, I got a thing.

Rachel: Don't get caught, dude.

Anything I should know?

Raylan: No. No.

Just a major prison break, the countryside's been overrun with fugitives.

I got it.

[ Knock at the door ]

You show up before dawn with a bag of hamburgers?

They get the toys that way.

Come on *** let me in.

Heck no.

Why not, you've let me in every other time I've come by.

No.

Raylan: Hey, Sharon.

It's Raylan.

Yeah, he's here. Listen... Hold up.

You dropped something.

Pick it up if you want.

assh*le.

Raylan: Huh? No, not you.

Won't let me in?

Oh yeah I think you gonna let me in.

Raylan: [ Taps window ]

You can have the burgers if you want.

sh*t!

Let's go, out.

Mine's bigger than yours.

Big enough to throw a b*llet through this door, and you as well.

Before I put one through your ear?

You think this is the first time I've had a g*n pointed at me?

No.

Could be your last though.

I'm guessin' you know who I am.

I can guess who you are, at least which team you play for.

All this indicates you're not gonna sh**t me.

No. ***

There you go.

Sharon.

How much I just bring him in?

♪ On this lonely road ♪
♪ trying to make it home ♪
♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪
♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪
♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪
♪ God get at your boy ♪
♪ you try to bogart ♪
♪ fall back, I go hard ♪
♪ on this lonely road ♪
♪ trying to make it home ♪
♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪
♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪
♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪

Boyd: So, you really have been saved.

By the Lord Almighty and the word of his forgiveness.

Boyd: So, what happened?

You sit down and start reading the good book?

Or was there a human component involved in this soul saving?

I got to be honest now, Boyd.

A lot of times, the way you say things, I can't make hide nor hair.

Boyd: Well, were you saved on your own or in a church, hiram?

Church. Last Chance Holiness.

Boyd: Well, that's new to me.

I don't believe I've ever heard of that collection plate.

It's new to Harlan.

Well, right now it's just a tent in the woods.

But preacher Billy... he's the real deal, Boyd... old-school.

Been healing lots of the afflicted... Addicts.

That's why your Oxy sales have dropped off a cliff, 'cause people getting off dr*gs, getting hooked on Jesus.

Boyd: Well, Hiram, receiving the Lord into your heart is a wonderful thing.

But I do have to ask... when did your salvation occur?

Last week.

Boyd: Well, then, there you go.

What we have is a problem of arithmetics, 'cause you received a shipment of Oxy from us three weeks ago.

Now, that gives you two solid weeks of selling before you saw the light.

Now, by my count, Hiram, you got at least $10,000 of my money.

I don't.

I stopped selling before then.

Boyd: Well, then give me my Oxy back.

Can't.

I flushed that poison down the shitter.

Boyd: Poison?

Why, you don't know your scripture.

"He makes wine that gladdens the"

"hearts of man"... psalms 104.

And what are our goods but modern-day wine, albeit in a pill form?

That's just you twisting the word of God for your own dark purposes.

Where you going?

Boyd: I'm getting away from the window.

[ Screams ]

Boyd: Now, hiram, saved or not, you don't have my money by the time tomorrow night rolls around, the next firecracker's gonna go off in here.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Hey!

Shut that off before anyone sees the light.

What are you doing?

Might as well pull some wire while we're at it.

Got to love these old places.

$20 copper right here.

What is that?

Well, let's pull and find out.

[ Siren wailing ]

sh*t!

What do we do?

We run, you dumb sh*t.

Hey! I got dogs here!

They're gonna rip your face off!

Trained them to do it!

God damn it!

[ Sighs ]

[ Floorboards creaking ]

Can't be local, or you'd have identified yourself as such.

♪ ♪

Maybe you're federal.

No bounty hunters allowed in the state of Kentucky.

Raylan: If you're gonna keep talking, I'm gonna put you in the trunk.

Can I ask you something?

Raylan: What's that?

It mean anything to you that I ain't never had no priors?

Raylan: Nope.

That ain't none of my business.

I just came to see my kids.

She wouldn't let me see them.

Can you fathom that?

Raylan: You got kids?

Yeah.

Raylan: Do you get visitation?

Huh?

Raylan: Visitation.

Sure, just Sundays, and supervised, on account of I ain't have a place suitable for children.

One of the reasons I moved on down to Knoxville.

I ain't gonna see them.

Why stick around?

[ Cellphone rings ]

Raylan: Hold on.

Only reason I'm in this jackpot was trying to get money for my kids.

Raylan: Okay, I need you to be quiet now.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Hello?

Hey, uh, Raylan.

Yeah, look, it's Bob.

Constable Bob sweeney down in Harlan, yeah.

Look, uh, I'm at your daddy's house.

Raylan: Well, is it on fire?

Only reason I can imagine you calling before dawn.

Oh, sh*t.

I think my arm's falling asleep.

Raylan: Stop talking.

Uh, I'm headed up that way.

Come on, I'm not gonna stop talking.

Raylan: I can stop by there.

Hey, look, you gonna have to turn me in unharmed, or you gonna catch some sh*t.

Raylan: You don't need to do that.

Okay, then.

[ Tires screech ]

Ow! sh*t! Ow!

Raylan: See you there.

You know what your problem is?

You got no self-awareness.

You think trying to do right by your children excuses everything, even k*lling men.

They were heroin dealers.

If they'd just give up their money, none of this would have happened.

Raylan: Any problem, that's someone else's fault.

You ever hear of the saying, "you run into an assh*le in the" morning, you ran into an assh*le.

You run into assholes all day, you're the assh*le"?

[ Car beeps ]

What?

Raylan: This could be a little uncomfortable.

Just be cool and go with it.

I get out of these, I'll tear you to pieces small enough to flush.

[ Rooster crows ]

[ Knock on door ]

Morning, sunshine.

Look what I got for my girl.

What is it?

Well, open it and find out.

You do that? With the paper?

Watched a video on YouTube.

Here.

Wait, is it Oxy?

No. Better.

Not meth.

I can't do any more of that.

It's not meth.

It's mellow.

Oh, my God. Is this real?

What?

No, honey, there ain't no such thing as a million dollar bill.

Are you sure?

It's from a church.

Got some religious screed on the other side.

Some kids were handing them out by the stop 'n go.

I thought it was funny, using it as I did.

[ Laughs ]

Now, I got another surprise for you, but you're gonna have to keep your eyes shut for that one.

I can't wait.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Snorts ]

Keep them closed.

They're closed.

All right, now... open!

[ Growls ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Groans ]

Look at that... they busted the hinges.

Still broke the lock.

Would have been cheaper to break a window.

You should put a sign up... "You thinking of breaking in," please break a window.

"Thank you. The management."

Raylan: You just happened to be driving by, huh?

No, I put a motion detector in.

Sends me a text every time it goes off.

Raylan: How much is that costing me?

It's in your bill.

I'm not hiding it.

Raylan: Well, I ain't gonna cover that up with the smell of baking cookies.

[ Chuckles ]

I'll tell you what, though... Those wire-strippers are lucky.

If I'd caught them, would have opened a Costco-sized can of whup-ass on them.

Raylan: Mm-hmm.

I guess I can fix the door.

Can you hire someone to handle this?

I can. You know, Raylan...

Raylan: Hmm?

I've been thinking.

I'm gonna tell you something I haven't told a whole lot of people.

Raylan: About that time you were in high school, living in Florida?

How... how'd you know that?

Raylan: Kid on the football team came at you at shop class.

You took him out with a hammer.

Ollie kemp.

I tell you this before?

Raylan: Once during senior year when we were down at the lake.

Was I drunk?

Raylan: I think we all were.

Then again two months ago when I hired to watch this house.

[ Clears throat ]

What's that?

Raylan: I have not a clue.

Ollie kemp... that was the guy.

Size of a portable toilet.

He come at me, and I just went berserker red on him.

Put him in a coma.

He's still in it, as far as I know.

Raylan: That's why your family moved to Evarts, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, what is that?

Raylan: It's a driver's license.

Waldo truth.

Yeah, I know it's a joke.

Raylan: What's that?

Being a constable.

You got to run for it.

You only get $2,400 a year if you win, so nobody runs for it.

Got to have your own car.

Got to have your own everything.

[ Scoffs ] I had to pay for these lights myself.

Raylan: $2,400 enough to live on?

Well, I get $50 apiece for serving papers.

State police got to charge $80, so everyone comes to me.

You know, let them keep thinking I'm a joke.

That's what I say.

[ Chuckles ] They underestimate me at their peril.

Raylan: Just ask Ollie kemp.

[ Scoffs ] If he could respond.

Raylan: Hmm.

Let me tell you something, Raylan.

If sh*t gets serious, you give me a call, and I'll grab my go bag and be ready to jump.

Raylan: Will do, Bob.

You stay frosty.

[ Car alarm chirps ]

Raylan: All right.

Here's the deal.

I got to do one more thing.

Stay quiet, I'll let you back up front.

Ava: It was a costume.

I know that now.

See, Arnold's a furry.

Usually he dresses up in, like, a bunny suit?

But this one scared me.

Plus I was on dr*gs, and it was a good costume.

He gonna press charges?

Ava: He's the judge/executive.

What's he gonna do?

Tell everyone he was sh*t in a whorehouse wearing a bear costume?

[ Laughs ]

Ava: What the hell were you you doing with a g*n?

Everybody's got a g*n.

Ava: Why do you have a g*n at work?

I been hit.

Ava: One of these men beats you, you come to me, and I'll take care of it, you hear me?

It's not just clients who hit.

Ava: Oh, you still griping about that?

Case you forget, I also saved your life.

Yeah, I k*lled a man for you.

I punched you once.

You think that's something, you ain't never been beaten.

Look, I know that, Ava.

I ain't... I-I ain't forget.

It's just sometimes I get real scared... Jittery and...

When I'm low, I just... [ Sighs ]

I just feel so low, Ava.

Ava: That's why I told you to get off the meth.

Yeah.

Ava: No coke, either.

You can't do the jittery stuff, Ellen may.

The comedown off that's worse than anything.

Yeah.

Ava: What was it Arnold gave you?

He wouldn't say.

Just that it wasn't... It wasn't Oxy.

Ava: [ Sighs ]

Well, you know there's gonna be consequences.

What kind?

Ava: I don't know.

I'll talk to Boyd, and we'll figure it out.

What is this?

It's what Arnold had his dr*gs in.

It's not real.

Ava: "Last chance holiness"

"church."

[ Sighs ]

Whatever me and Boyd decide, you can't have a g*n at work.

I know that, Ava.

I'm sorry.

How's Arlo getting along?

If you don't mind my asking.

Raylan: He's in prison.

I know.

I was wondering about his mental state.

Raylan: Well, like I said, Mike, he's in prison.

Raylan, the last time he came in here, he stood over there by the paints for five minutes.

Did not move, just staring.

Unnerved the hell out of me.

Raylan: Hmm.

You know, you see your old man, you say, uh... oh, hell.

I have absolutely no idea what you should say to him.

Raylan: Well, that's okay, Mike.

I don't plan on seeing him.

That's a good plan.

[ Screws clatter ]

You know, I've been told I got a screw loose, but this is just crazy.

♪ ♪

You want one?

Raylan: Want one what?

A screw. [ Chuckles ]

Raylan: How old are you?

Old enough.

Raylan: I think I got everything I came for.

Thank you.

Mike, you need a cleanup on aisle whatever.

Hey, hold up a sec.

I need your opinion.

How are these?

See, I'm a late bloomer.

I didn't get them till just last year.

Raylan: Patience is a virtue.

Miss, you can't go out this way.

Well... [ laughs ]

Raylan: Mike, where'd that little girl go?

She just flashed me her titties then scooted out the back.

Why?

Raylan: My car's gone.

Oh.

Johnny: Well, maybe what hiram told you is true.

Ava: Our drug business is being squeezed by some backwoods preacher?

[ Chuckles ] I don't buy it.

Johnny: Maybe it's because the fda, they went and changed the formula for Oxy... makes it harder to get high.

Boyd: Our supply's from before the change.

Johnny: And they went down and changed the laws in Florida.

That hasn't helped much.

Ava: You been watching CNN.

Johnny: I tell you what I haven't been doing, and that's allowing one of my whores to sh**t a customer.

Boyd: I'll discuss Ava's failings when it's her turn in the barrel.

Right now it's cousin Johnny's time.

Now, all your talk of the fda and Florida laws didn't explain why my Oxy sales have dropped off in my voting district.

And frankly, I'm nonplussed by your lack of motivation, Johnny, 'cause it ain't just my bottom line being affected.

Johnny: All right.

I'll check it out.

♪ ♪

Ava: I got failings?

Boyd: Well, clearly outweighed by your attributes.

Ava: Mm.

Boyd: How'd you handle Ellen may?

Ava: As much as told her wait till daddy got home.

Boyd: All right, well, we'll figure something out.

Ava: Mm.

Boyd: Confined to quarters, bread and water.

[ Both laugh ]

Who was the John?

Ava: Arnold.

Boyd: Well, he ain't gonna say nothing to nobody.

Ava: Mnh-mnh.

Boyd: [ Groans ] No one ever said running a criminal enterprise was gonna be this hard, huh?

Ava: They left that part out on career day.

Boyd: [ Sighs ]

Ava: You want a dr pepper?

Boyd: Well, is it 10:00, 2:00, or 4:00?

Ava: It is 9:21.

Boyd: Never too early for a dr pepper.

Ava: All right.

One dr pepper.

♪ ♪

Thank y.

Mm-hmm.

Is Boyd in?

Who?

Boyd crowder. He in?

Don't know anybody by that name.

[ Pool balls clacking ]

Johnny: Where you from, friend?

Little town in Maryland.

Bel air.

It's the birthplace of John wilkes booth.

Johnny: Well, what brings you to Harlan county?

Boyd crowder.

Johnny: Never heard of him.

I knew this guy.

He used to work with the m*llitary police, and he swore, if you ever ask someone a question like, "where are you"

"hiding those dr*gs?" You just watch the eyes.

More often than not, they'll point to the right direction.

Yours, they stayed on the beam.

But scooter over here... he just couldn't help himself.

Johnny: I, uh... I think your time in this establishment has come to an end.

[ Chuckles ] I hear you.

♪ ♪

Johnny: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ava: You need to leave now!

Aah!

Christ in heaven, you're a beautiful woman.

Ava: Jimmy!

Boyd! Boyd!

Boyd: No! No!

[ Laughs ]

Ava, Johnny, Jim, let me introduce to you, all the way from desert storm, by way of the Iraq and Afghan wars, first sergeant... no. Got knocked down.

Boyd: Sergeant Colton rhodes, m*llitary police.

Now, how many times did you jail my ass in Kuwait?

I say five. Am I low?

Boyd, honestly, I lost count.

[ Siren wails ]

You call the police?

Raylan: I called you.

Wait, wait, you... you said "they" took your car?

Raylan: Girl flashed me her titties.

I assume it's not a coincidence.

I know that scam.

The female acts as a distraction.

Her colleague steals the vehicle.

It's happening a lot these days.

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

Pull on me.

Raylan: Pull on you?

Yeah, make like you're going for your g*n.

Pull on me.

Raylan: Bob, I really do need to...

Raylan, just pull on me, man.

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

[ Exhaling sharply ]

Beef stew.

Raylan: Wow.

Yeah.

And I can do it with both hands, too... Still deadly.

I apply to the state police next year, they gonna take me.

That bag back there?

Raylan: That's your...?

My go bag.

Got everything in there in case I need to go.

Raylan: Like toilet paper?

God damn it, Raylan, not like toilet paper!

I got a ak-47 with a folding stock, I got body armor I bought off a police auction, I got MREs, I got bottled water.

If this sh*t goes road warrior, man, I'm ready.

You're gonna come to me.

Raylan: [ Chuckles ]

All right, let's check out the scrapyard first.

Raylan: Scrapyard? Why?

These metal thieves these days, man, they sell the cars for scrap... crush them, send them off...

Raylan: They crush them?

Yeah, it's 500 bucks a car.

Raylan: Let's go, Bob, right now.

All right.

[ Engine turns over ]

You know, it wouldn't...

Raylan: I got sh*t in the car I don't want to be crushed.

All right, well, you know, I can use my lights.

I mean, legally, they don't have any...

Raylan: Use them.

Lights going on!

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Hey! Crusher man!

Crusher man! Stop that!

Stop the thing! Crusher man!

Can I help you?

That better not be a late-model Lincoln town car you're crushing.

Raylan: It's not.

It's not?

Raylan: That's mine right there.

[ Car alarm chirps ]

Can I help you?

Oh. Where are they?

Who?

The punks who brought this in.

I was running the crusher.

I didn't see anyone.

The car belong to you, you can take it.

I don't mind.

Raylan: It's not the car so much as what was inside the trunk I'm concerned about.

I don't know anything about that.

Are you really gonna play it that way?

We all know you scrap stolen cars.

What?

Don't stonewall me, assh*le.

Everyone in the county knows.

I know you?

No, and it's not me you got to worry about, you sorry sack.

That right over there is a genuine U.S. marshal.

Raylan: Bob.

You're a marshal?

Raylan: Look, I ain't here on marshals' business.

I just want to know about the man in the trunk.

Or he can make it federal if you want to.

Hell, he'll have a helicopter come down here and hover for an hour, freak your sh*t out, son.

There ain't nothing federal about scrapping cars.

If you are crushing stolen cars, you are destroying vin numbers, and that makes it federal.

You had a guy in your trunk?

I'm not required to ascer... Ohh!

[ Chuckling ] That looks federal.

Raylan: Where are they?

Don't let him see you.

You think you're up to k*lling him if it comes to it?

You are?

Yeah.

You k*lled a man before?

I k*lled two men. How's that?

Oh, yeah?

We k*lled 12 men just yesterday.

[ Chuckles ]

Week before last I k*lled two heroin dealers in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Now, you get that angle grinder over there, cut my chain, I'll handle this.

Why'd you k*ll them?

Because I had to.

We are running out of time here, children.

What, are you a junkie?

No.

I spot junkies, follow them to their dealers, and rob them.

Now, either aim that peashooter at that door and pull the trigger on whoever comes through, or cut my chain.

What'll it be?

How you spot junkies?

I spot bicycle thieves, most bicycle thieves being heroin addicts.

It's a fact.

Try to avoid flesh.

How you spot bicycle thieves?

[ Tool grinding ]

One day, me and my friend Kenneth, we saw a skinny guy go up to an expensive bike... Specialized, giant... got a bag across his chest like he's a messenger, no one giving him a second look.

He pulls out a Makita angle grinder, just like the one in your boyfriend's hands there.

20 seconds later, he's through that lock and on his way.

Now we just watch the good bikes.

Wherever there are rich kids, there are good bikes, junkies looking to grab them, and we follow them.

sh*t!

That really heats up the steel.

Now give me that g*n.

[ Door opens ]

Raylan: Am I interrupting something?

I was wondering when you'd walk in.

Raylan: Well, you can stop wondering.

I'm here now.

sh**t him.

Raylan: Jesus, girl, you just showed me your tits 45 minutes ago.

Oh, he thinks he's funny.

Don't listen to him. sh**t him.

Raylan: Miss, I am a deputy U.S. marshal with a one-time offer... do as I say, you and your friend get a free pass for stealing my car.

He's lying.

Raylan: He's just saying that 'cause he's the one I'm after.

I want you, son, up here, on your belly, hands in front.

Miss, you're gonna hand me that g*n, p*stol grip first, right now.

Let's go.

I'm sorry, Raylan.

You should see the sh*t in this bag.

Raylan: God damn it, Bob.

I asked you to do one thing... Watch him.

What the hell happened?

He asked me to pull on him.

I punched him in the nose.

He did it wrong!

Raylan: Unh-unh-unh!

Okay.

I'm gonna make you a similar offer I made these two...

Do as I say, and I'll let you skate on the vin numbers.

Ain't as good as his offer.

Raylan: What'd he offer?

$10,000.

Raylan: Jody, you got $10,000 stuck up your ass?

Hey, we ain't stupid.

It's hidden up in Lexington.

Raylan: He's just... you know... All right.

Doesn't matter.

I'm gonna sweeten the deal.

The three of you go free, plus I'll give you whatever I got in my wallet.

There's got to be at least $500 in there.

Henry, check his wallet.

He could be lying about that $500.

Give me your wallet.

12 bucks, piggly wiggly card.

Ohh!

Give me that g*n, girl!

[ Groans ]

Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh!

Careful, careful.

You might hit her.

Raylan: I suppose I should care, her age and all, but she did steal my car.

Go ahead and sh**t, then.

Now, thank you for the ride.

I appreciate your company.

But I think I need some alone time.

Goodbye, marshal.

Aah! [ Groaning ]

Raylan: Look out.

Move away from that g*n.

Get up.

Put your hands on the table, nice and slow... slow.

You okay, Bob?

[ Grunting ] All right, God damn it.

Any chance we can take you up on that offer?

Yeah, that's funny.

Raylan: Yeah, tell me the truth.

You weren't at Arlo's for the copper wire and you didn't want my car.

It was just that bag.

How come?

Raylan: You sure you don't mind holding on to this stuff for me till we can really fix that door?

It's just a bunch of photographs.

I don't know why anyone would want to steal it, but you never know.

Yeah, sure thing, Mr. Givens.

[ Chuckles ]

What are you, his personal assistant?

I'm not the one handcuffed in the back of a car, assh*le.

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

So, uh, listen, Bob.

If it's cool with you, I'd just, uh...

Let's just keep this between us, huh?

Yeah, you think?

Look, Raylan, I know why you called me.

You couldn't call the cops, 'cause if they found the stolen car with a Tennessee bail jumper in the back, what are you gonna say?

You're out of the marshals service, right?

So you called up constable Bob.

Raylan: Listen, Bob, I'm sorry.

I just... I got a kid on the way.

I was trying to make a little extra bank on the side, all right?

You got a kid on the way?

Raylan: Yeah.

But, hey, you stepped up.

I stepped up. Stepped up.

I stabbed a teenage girl in the foot.

Raylan: And because of that, I'm alive, and you're alive, and we live to see another day.

[ Sighs ]

[ Engine turns over ]

Not a word.

Not a problem.

Raylan.

♪ ♪

Boyd: So, how did you lose your rank?

That was at Bagram, about six months ago.

I got into a thing with an XO.

From another company at a baseball game.

He slides in high into second base during a charity game.

Boyd: Ohh!

Showing restraint, I kneed him in the nuts.

I didn't think twice about it.

It's a game. Things happen.

And then I heard the assh*le reported it.

Boyd: Mm!

That cost me the rank.

But what got me my discharge was me walking into his billet and sh**ting him in the bicep.

[ Both laugh ]

I could have got leavenworth.

But everyone knew what a prick he was, so they suggested my service was complete.

The guy used to curl 80 pounds.

Now I heard he can hardly lift a phone, so...

[ Clicks tongue ]

What can I do for you, Boyd?

Boyd: I'm a criminal.

I know that.

Boyd: I got a problem.

I need a little outside help, someone I can trust.

I wanted to see how you might feel about crossing the line.

That depends where the line is.

Do you k*ll people?

Boyd: People have been k*lled.

I-I don't have a pen or a piece of paper, but what would you say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses, Colton rhodes?

This is a job interview now?

Boyd: It's a job.

Tell you what, I got to go see a fella... Owes me some money.

Why don't you come along?

Dry run.

Let's just see how it goes.

[ Buzzer ]

[ Buzzer ]

Arlo: You sell my home?

Raylan: Not yet.

Arlo: You set the asking price too high.

Raylan: I lowered it to $170,000.

Arlo: It hasn't sold.

It's too high.

Raylan: You want me to just give it away?

Arlo: You want to get half of nothing?

Raylan: Maybe I'm listing it wrong.

"Two-story, three-bedroom" country fixer-upper.

Holes in the wall.

"Missing a door."

Arlo: Mm-hmm. You're funny.

Raylan: Don't give me any sh*t, Arlo.

I brought you what you wanted.

Arlo: What's that?

Raylan: You don't know?

Seems to me like you went to a lot of trouble to get it out of your house... hiring two wire-stripping teenagers to get it for you.

Arlo: I did what now?

Raylan: You honestly don't know what this is?

Arlo: On your mother's grave.

Raylan: It had something in the bag.

Arlo: Can't read without my glasses.

Raylan: Kentucky driver's license.

Issued September 7, 1979.

First name... Waldo.

Last name... truth.

Arlo: That's a strange last name.

Raylan: Doesn't ring a bell?

Arlo: No.

I'd think, a boy on the way, you'd have more pressing concerns.

Raylan: Don't know if it's a boy.

Kind of hoping it was a girl, end the family line right here.

Arlo: You think that'll do it?

You think you get all your turmoil from me?

Your mother was frances, not Saint frances.

My advice?

Just put that bag back in the wall and forget about it.

Raylan: I didn't say it was in the wall.

Arlo: Guard!

Boyd: Where's my money, hiram?

There's your money right there.

Boyd: That's very funny.

You wouldn't think a man with a stick of dynamite in his lap would go for funny.

"Last chance holiness church."

That's the place, huh?

The place of my salvation.

Boyd: Well, you tell me where my money is, hiram, and you can go on repenting all you want.

I don't have it! I told you!

Boyd: I don't believe you.

Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner.

Boyd: Huh. Let's go, colt.

Where are you going?

Boyd: Outside.

I don't want to die.

And I'd say you got about eight seconds left, so I'd make sure your conversion was in earnest.

It's under the lawnmower!

Oh, I'm ready, God! I'm ready!

[ Whimpering ]

Boyd: Open your eyes, hiram, for you have been saved twice.

"I expect death to be"

"nothingness."

That ain't in the Bible.

Boyd: No, it is not.

It's a science-fiction writer... Isaac Asimov, God rest his soul, except he did not believe in God.

Why'd you hold out so long?

I wanted to give it to the church, make up for all the evil I'd done.

Boyd: You really think this church is behind my falloff in Oxy?

Oh, I know it is.

Preacher Billy's saving 'em one sinner at a time.

You should try it, Boyd.

Boyd: I've already tried it.

Well, then, long run, you'll be finished.

Boyd: "Well, in the long run", "we'll all be dead."

You know who said that?

John maynard keynes.

Now, for the record, this money doesn't exist.

Ava asks, anyone does, it wasn't here.

Are we clear?

Yeah.

Boyd: Take care of him.

[ g*nsh*t ]

Aah!

Boyd: What in the hell did you do that for?!

You said to take care of him.

Boyd: I-I-I meant cut him loose!

Oh. sh*t.

Boyd: Well, I guess I'll have to be more careful with my words.

♪ ♪

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

Lindsey?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

Sorry, I... had barbecue for dinner, and I did not want to use that downstairs bathroom to floss.

Raylan: Eh, it's okay.

How'd it go?

Raylan: Wasn't without its difficulty, but I got him there.

To this super-hot bail bondswoman you were talking about?

Raylan: I don't recall saying "super."

I was just trying to be accurate.

How much you get?

Raylan: 10.

Good for you.

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

I better get back downstairs.

Raylan: Why?

Well, if I don't get down there soon Ken'll get pissy.

Saw how busy it is?

I did.

It's come and get f'ed up Friday.

How do you define soon?

Loosely.

[ Rhythmic clapping ]

Whoo!

[ Cheering ]

Praise the lord! Yeah!

Glory to God!

Praise Jesus!

♪ ♪

Praise God!

Praise be the lord!

Oh, God almighty!

Salamatha morolakamata!

Save me, lord!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

[ Speaking gibberish ]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! [ Cries ]

You will be saved by our lord!

Hallelujah!

We will all be saved by our lord!

Praise the lord!

Amen!

Praise the lord!

Now, I see a lot of new faces here today.

To you newcomers, we here are signs followers.

Now, that comes from the gospel of mark.

"And these signs shall follow"

"them that believe."

Oh, hallelujah!

But what you want to know... Is do I get bit?

Well, am I right?

Right.

Yes, I do.

Now, only twice so far... Hallelujah.

By this one right here I call Mabel.

Now, once, I took her out of her crate too rough... I deserved it.

The other time, well, the lord only knows.

Both times I survived the venom.

It was the lord who saw fit to have me continue my ministry.

Now, of course, not all survive.

Our daddy and his before d*ed from the serpent's bite, their place in heaven guaranteed, there being no greater sign of obedience to the lord than to be taken home in such a manner.

So, that's why we're here.

Why are you here, newcomers?

You all come to watch the hillbilly with the snakes?

Or did you come to be saved?!

Savior!

Hallelujah!

Now, what about it?

How about you?

Yes, you.

[ Cell door opens ]

Arlo: I didn't ask for a book.

That your son the marshal came to see you?

Arlo: Why?

Saw him bring in some bag.

Arlo: You got your nose in everyone's business, don't you, trustee?

[ Chuckles ]

Where'd he find that bag?

Arlo: I don't know, and I didn't ask.

And why do you want to know?

Because I heard about a bag like that once before.

It could be worth some money, old man, we play our cards right.

Arlo: These are our cards now?

He showed you something else, looked like an identification.

Arlo: You got an eagle eye.

What was it?

Arlo: Somebody's driver's license.

Name?

Arlo: Marlon Brando.

I don't know.

You tell anybody about this?

Arlo: Why would I tell anyone?

Well, don't.

Like I said, it's worth some money.

I'll make a call and find out how much.

Arlo: Hold on.

Give me a book while you're here.

You don't read.

Arlo: I can.

Just don't choose to usually.

What do you want?

Arlo: Anything. I don't care.

I forgot how slow the clock moves inside.

You like spy stories?

I been hearing a lot of good things about this Alan Furst fellow.

Arlo: Fine.

Aah! Aah!

Why?! Why?!

[ Thud ]

[ Alarm buzzing ]

Looks like a trustee down.

Trustee down, open that door.

Arlo: [ Sighs ]