03x06 - Inconceivable

[bunniefuu]

A man loses both limbs and gets robotic ones that he can power with his mind.

A gaggle of baby geese accepts a zoologist as their mother.

And Lewicki, having a hard time finding romance, turns to a virtual sex simulator created by an adult-toy company in Japan.

[Laughter]

Prosthetic limbs, filial imprinting, Japanese sex robots.

What do they all have in common?

They're all replacements.

From limbs made of steel and wires to mothers that aren't even of the same species to highly evolved self-pleasure devices...

As far as the brain is concerned, if it gets the job done, does it really matter if it ain't the real thing?

I always knew you were a perfect 10, but who knew you were a 780?

Excuse me?

Your credit score.

Okay, I know my credit rating.

What I don't know is why you're rating me.

I gave you a 10.

Benevolent sexism, Don.

Look it up.

[Sighs]

Can I start over?

Please.

I...

Found our dream house.

Whoa.

Pretty amazing, right?

Okay, remind me. When did we decide to start house hunting?

I've just been poking around on some real-estate sites just to get a sense of the market.

I just feel like we've got enough on our plates without buying a house.

I'm not saying we should buy it. Just take a look.

[Telephone ringing]

Moretti.

Okay. I'm on my way.

We're gonna have to talk real estate later.

Why? What's going on?

Baby's just been kidnapped.

[Police radio chatter]

He's... he's been so fussy lately that I didn't want to wake him, so I decided I would unload the groceries before I took him out of his car seat.

[Sniffles]

Oh, my God.

How could I have been so stupid?

Lucy, don't blame yourself.

We need to focus on finding your baby.

Now, how long was he out of your sight?

A minute. Two at the most.

By the time I sat the bags down and came back, the window was smashed and he was gone!

Hang in there, okay? You're doing great.

Now, exactly how old is Owen?

Eight weeks. He has blue eyes.

Oh, here. I have a picture of him on my phone.

He's beautiful.

Okay, I'm e-mailing this to myself now, and we're gonna circulate this to all of the local law-enforcement agencies.

Any known medical issues?

He's a little colicky.

Okay.

And who else lives in the house?

Just me and Owen.

And the baby's father?

His name's Andrew O'Leary.

And have you been in contact since Owen's disappearance?

I'm not sure how to get ahold of him.

He's not really in our lives anymore.

I-I thought he wanted to be a f-father, but he walked out.

Any idea where he might be?

He's... he's a Humvee mechanic in the army, if that helps.

Don't worry. We'll find him.

Now, when you were outside unloading the groceries, did you see anyone?

A garbage collector, mail carrier, neighbor, anyone at all?

[Voice breaking]

God, I don't know.

There could have been someone, but I wasn't paying attention.

I'm so stupid!

Have you seen any suspicious people or vehicles in the neighborhood recently?

Well, I saw a strange car yesterday.

It was parked out in front.

And then I saw that same car speeding up the street just a few hours ago.

Could you describe the car or the driver?

No, I didn't see the driver, and I'm not really good with cars.

But I did write down the license-plate number just in case.

Hang on.

Thank you.

Put out an Amber alert.

Right away.

So, how well do you know Lucy Halpern?

Well, she's kind of the quiet, shy type.

Stays to herself mostly.

Do you ever see her with the baby?

Oh, yeah.

She's always strolling him up and down the street here, but she always looks so exhausted.

I half worry she's gonna wander into traffic.

Boy, I'll tell you, motherhood is no picnic for that one, that's for sure.

Owen is only eight weeks old.

Please, if there is anyone out there who has any information about his disappearance, please, please help the police find him.

He needs his mother.

If the person who took him is watching, I don't care who you are or why you did it.

[Voice breaking]

I-I just want him back!

[Sobs]

[Telephone rings]

Lewicki, get that.

Dr. Pierce's residence.

Yeah, right here.

It's Kate.

Hey.

Hey. Turn on channel 9?

Yeah, we're watching it.

Could you come over, talk to her?

For emotional support or 'cause you think she did something to her baby?

I don't know, but it would be helpful if you could... evaluate her mental health, discreetly.

Daniel: You've got nobody to... to help you, no family or friends?

No, there's just me.

I can't imagine how hard that must be with all the diaper changes and the feedings and the crying.

Yeah. Do you have kids?

No.

No.

So, when's the last time you had a full night's rest?

I don't know.

Probably not since I became a mom.

Chronic sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your mood.

Have you been feeling irritated or angry lately?

Well, yeah, I guess a little.

Yeah, but who wouldn't feel a little frustrated taking care of a sick baby all alone?

Of course.

What do you do when you feel frustrated?

Do you think that I hurt my own baby?

Is that what this is about?

I'm not making any allegations. I'm just here to help.

I would never hurt Owen. Never.

I want everyone to lay back when we get there.

Let me make the first approach.

We don't want to spook the perp.

Any questions?

Let's move.

Hey, what's... what's going on?

The car the neighbor I.D.'d was spotted at heise park.

How'd it go with Lucy?

Not good.

Talk to you when I get back.

Excuse me, miss? FBI.

I need to see some identification from you.

Woman: What's this about?

Ma'am?

Kate: Miss?

Stop! FBI!

[Indistinct shouting]

[Tires screech]

[People scream]

Woman: Is the baby all right?!

Somebody call an ambulance!

Sir, it's okay. We don't need the paramedics.

It's just a doll.

It's amazing how real this thing looks.

Here. You want to practice?

Okay, I don't know what's creeping me out more...

You or the doll.

Are we even sure that this is Lucy's baby?

Yeah. Same face.

Lucy's got some explaining to do.

I have an agent bringing her in.

What about the dollnapper?

Figured I'd call C.P.D., hand her over for larceny.

Well, hang on a sec.

If Betsy was fooled by the doll like we all were and her original intent was to steal a child, I could still prosecute her for kidnapping.

I knew it was a doll all along.

I know how crazy I must seem, but I couldn't help it.

I had to take him.

Why?

Six months ago... I had a baby.

Cody.

[Sniffles]

He was a born with a congenital heart defect.

He only survived seven weeks.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've been having a really hard time figuring out what to do with myself.

I told my therapist that I'm always feeling this overwhelming need to just hold him again.

She suggested I get a reborn.

They're crafted to look as lifelike as possible.

Some women get really into them.

In what way?

Buy them clothes and toys [Sniffles] have baby showers.

They treat the dolls like they're real?

But for me, it was...

It was just supposed to be a grieving tool.

My therapist said that if I held one for a few minutes each day, it might help.

And as... bizarre as that sounds, I was willing to try anything.

So that's why you stole Lucy's doll?

Well, it's... It's not hers.

It's mine.

I'd heard about this dollmaker.

Asgar Svensden.

He's the best reborn artist in the state.

I asked him if he could make one to look like my son.

He said it would cost $4,500.

I had to put down a non-refundable deposit.

But I had a hard time coming up with the rest.

And by the time I did, Asgar had already sold my doll to someone else.

I couldn't believe it.

I mean, how can he give my baby to another woman?

It's not your baby. It's my doll.

I made it. I own it. I can sell it.

I realized that it was pointless to argue with him, so I just asked him for the buyer's name and address.

And he gave it to you?

It took some convincing, but, yeah, I finally got it.

I just wanted to talk to her, try to explain.

But I saw Cody strapped in the car.

Asgar said you're not supposed to leave the dolls in hot cars because the paint can warp and the vinyl can melt.

And as crazy as it sounds, I couldn't stand it.

I had to rescue him.

[Car door unlocks]

[Scoffs]

Never occurred to me that Lucy might call the FBI.

How much trouble am I in?

I'm not going to prosecute a grieving mother, but that woman's therapist is a wacko.

Who tells someone to use a doll to get over their dead baby?

Well, sometimes people have to do whatever gets them through the night.

Sure, but it sounds like some of these women are taking this stuff too far.

Yeah, like someone who reports a kidnapping because her doll was stolen?

Now, Lucy obviously knew it wasn't real, but since the FBI doesn't find toys, she lied and said that her baby was missing.

I'm gonna charge her for knowingly filing a false report.

Wait. T-there might be more to it than that.

Let me... let me talk to her.

[Gasps]

Oh, my God!

[Laughs]

Oh, Mommy's so sorry!

[Sniffles]

I'll never leave you alone again.

Just glad the FBI was able to help.

Would you like to sit down for a minute?

Get your bearings?

Yeah. Sure.

[Sighs]

Hi, Baby.

You're good with him.

Oh.

I do my best.

Lucy, do you know someone named Asgar Svensden?

Yeah, he's such a nice man.

What is your relationship with him?

He arranged the adoption.

I didn't realize that Owen was adopted.

It was the only way I could be a mother.

Oh. Uh-oh.

[Chuckles, sniffles]

Somebody made a poopy.

Do you mind if I change him while we talk?

Not at all.

Lucy is suffering from delusional disorder.

It's a psychiatric condition in which a patient holds a fixed delusion, but has no other obvious problems with thought or mood.

I decided to drop the case during the diaper change.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing by giving the doll back to her?

Taking it away now would only worsen her mental state.

Hopefully over time she'll respond to a combination of dr*gs and psychotherapy.

Should we call the hospital, try and get her admitted?

No, no, no.

Listen, she's got a single fixed delusion, but it's not hampering her ability to function.

Sending her to a hospital would only make things worse.

And, as you know, we have no authority to commit her.

We just send her home?

I'll make sure she sees a doctor first thing in the morning.

Natalie: I need a pickle.

What the hell?

I was thinking Harper if it's a girl and Keith if it's a boy.

What do you think?

I think the sight of you expecting is...

Very unexpected.

Well, you obviously have babies on the mind.

After today's case, how could I not?

Daniel, we both know there's another reason why you're seeing me this way.

Which is?

You want a baby.

What?! Are you out of your mind?

[Laughing]

I don't want a baby.

Well, considering my current state, I find it hard to believe.

The crying and the dirty diapers and... and... and the complete havoc babies wreak on any semblance of a schedule?

No, thank you.

Well, what about the good stuff?

The feeling of a baby sleeping in your arms, the way they laugh.

It's out of the question.

Why?

You know why.

I would never risk passing this on to a child.

It's better not to be born than to be born with schizophrenia?

There is no way you are dragging me into that philosophical quagmire.

Ooh.

What?

The baby's kicking. You want to feel?

This is too crazy, even for me.

It's not crazy to consider what life would be like with a baby.

It's perfectly normal.

Said the pregnant hallucination.

You're no fun.

Go eat a pickle.

Donnie: Bakers marble countertops, abundant natural light.

What's not to love?

What would we do with four bedrooms anyway?

Well, the master is for us, a nursery, a guest room, and the fourth gives us room to grow.

Here. Look.

Look at that yard.

How perfect is that for kids?

Put a big swing set in, birthday parties, easter-egg hunts.

Plus it's in a great school district, so I think it's gonna go really fast.

You did research on the school district?

Yeah.

Guess my biological clock is ticking.

Isn't yours?

Well, yeah.

I mean, I guess we are at that age.

Slow down, sailor. It's gonna be a long voyage.

I mean, really, we are having a traditional catholic wedding.

I'm not walking down the aisle with a baby bump, okay?

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

I'll be right there.

What's wrong?

I just wanted to see how she was doing.

Oh.

[Police radio chatter]

Where is she?

[Camera shutter clicking]

What do you got?

m*rder w*apon.

Well, that's a new one.

What the hell happened? Who did this?

I don't know, but the doll is missing.

[Sighs]

Well, what's her name, Betsy, she... she stole it once.

Maybe...

No, it wasn't her.

She left town for her sister's as soon as we cut her loose.

Any signs of forced entry?

No, but I might have another lead.

What's that?

Lucy's baby daddy.

She said that he walked out on her.

We tracked him down to a m*llitary base about three hours away.

He just got back from Afghanistan.

I met Lucy about six months before I got deployed.

I was at a gas station in my dress blues.

She came over to thank me for my service.

[Chuckles]

I told her I'd never been thanked by a woman so pretty before.

Her whole face went red. I asked her out right then.

And how long were you together?

About a year and a half.

I was crazy about her.

She'd been with a lot of jerks who treated her like dirt.

But I treated her the way she deserved.

How serious did things get?

I popped the question before I got deployed.

She said yes?

She said she'd be counting the days until I came home.

I told her we'd buy a house, make beautiful babies together.

Only a month into my deployment, she skyped me and told me she was already pregnant.

How'd you take the news?

Guys! I'm gonna be a dad!

[Men cheering]

I sent her money out of my pay for doctor bills, nursery stuff.

I was in love with that kid before I even met him.

I was bummed when I missed his birth.

So my friends, they threw me a party.

And the best gift came from my C.O.

Transferred me back stateside so I could go home and see my son.

I didn't tell Lucy that I was coming because I wanted to surprise her.

Hey.

What the hell?

Andrew.

Where's Owen?

I can explain.

Explain what? That you lied to me?

Look, no.

Oh, my God.

Tell me this is not happening!

Tell me this is some sort of a joke!

Please.

Don't touch me!

I was such an idiot.

All that bullshit about the doctor bills, the nursery stuff.

She was just scamming me for money the whole time.

It wasn't about the money, Sergeant.

Lucy was a psychologically fragile woman.

She told me she couldn't have children.

Maybe she lied about the pregnancy because she was afraid of losing you.

I just don't understand how she could take it so far.

It's one thing to lie about being pregnant, but to try to fake me out with a doll?

I think she used the doll to perpetuate the lie, but at some point, it became real for her.

But that doesn't explain why she would have told Andrew that she was pregnant and tell us that Owen was adopted.

Wait. Adopted?

When you walked out, she was probably devastated and... and turned to the only source of comfort that she had available to her.

The doll.

Yes.

That's when her fantasy of being a mother became a full-blown delusion.

She grabbed on to the idea of adoption because it was less painful than thinking of you as the biological father.

It's all my fault.

If I'd have gotten her help, maybe she'd still be alive.

No, Sergeant.

Lucy's mental illness most likely began long before she met you.

What do you know about her childhood?

Lucy never liked to talk about her childhood much.

But I know that her mother b*at the hell out of her growing up.

When was the last time you saw your daughter?

Two months ago.

If I'd known I'd never see her again, I would have told her I loved her.

What happened the last time you spoke?

[Sighs]

She wasn't expecting me.

She came to the door holding a baby.

I asked was she babysitting or something.

And she said, no, the kid was hers.

I couldn't believe it.

I didn't even know she was pregnant.

So then what happened?

Well, she was looking kind of run-down.

I told her to go do something nice for herself, you know?

Take a break. I'd watch the little stinker.

She said she couldn't trust me.

With a doll?

What do you mean, a doll?

We're talking about my grandbaby, Owen.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying your daughter had a real baby?

Of course she had a real baby.

The damn thing puked all over me.

Thank you.

Well, the M.E. confirmed Lucy recently gave birth.

So she and sergeant what's-his-name really did have a child together.

But at some point, she switched out the real infant for a doll.

Why?

[Sighs]

[Baby crying]

Did... did you hear that?

Hear what?

Never mind.

I can't watch this anymore.

I'll be inside.

[Baby crying]

[Lid clatters]

They swept the whole house and the yard.

Body's not here.

Look at this. It's a treasure box.

Souvenirs.

Always turns my stomach when K*llers keep those.

I don't know.

[Stammers]

Look around. L-look at this nursery.

Look how well it's kept. I...

Everything I'm seeing tells me she loved her baby.

I'm sure she did.

No, no, what I mean is I don't think she k*lled him.

Look, we... we know her mom was abusive.

That doesn't mean she became abusive.

You know, maybe she...

Maybe she was afraid of being a mother and sh... and she gave the baby away.

Look, I'm not calling the dogs off yet... literally...

But you're right.

We should check in with Social Services, see if they know anything.

Woman: Male infant, newborn Caucasian, was relinquished at a local fire station about a month ago.

Great. So where where is he?

In foster care?

Says here a case worker responded but was told it was a false alarm.

What does that mean?

That's all I have.

So nobody asked any questions?

The whole point to the safe haven law is so that parents can give up a newborn without any questions asked.

If they had to give up their name, rank, and serial number, no one would do it.

Can you tell us what fire station?

Yeah, that's her.

Can you explain exactly what happened when she came in?

It was late, maybe 2:00 A.M.

Everyone else had gone out on call, so I was the only one here.

She was pretty shaken up when she came in.

Looked like she'd been crying awhile.

I mean, she just handed me the baby and left.

So you called DCFS?

Yeah.

But took awhile for the social worker to get here.

So I just held the baby, tried to keep him calm.

Cutest little bugger I ever saw.

So then what happened?

Well, next thing I know, his mom comes walking back through the door.

What did she say?

That she made a mistake, that she'd given him to me because she was feeling overwhelmed.

She talked to her family, and they were gonna help her out.

So what did you do?

What could I do?

I felt sorry for her.

She was obviously going through a hard time.

And I knew that once her kid was in the system, she's gonna have a hell of a time getting him back.

So I gave him back.

But you had already called DCFS.

I mean... I know.

I know. I screwed up.

I should have stalled her till the social worker got here.

I just didn't want to make things harder on her.

Did something bad happen to that baby?

If Lucy had some sort of a scare that prompted her to give up her baby, but then she came back saying that family promised to help, then maybe...

Maybe she was talking about her mom.

Maybe she did agree to let her babysit.

I mean, it's not inconceivable that she k*lled her own grandchild.

Which would have triggered Lucy's psychosis.

But then what? Mother kills daughter? Why?

Well, either she was nervous that Lucy would tell the cops she k*lled Owen or it was about the doll.

Okay, you lost me there.

Well, don't forget, it's missing.

And it's worth a lot of money.

I'll scour the Internet and the local pawnshops, see if mommy dearest might be trying to sell it.

[Doorbell rings]

Lewicki!

[Doorbell rings]

Lewicki!

[Baby cooing]

Lewicki!

[Baby crying]

Lewicki!

You... you... you calling for me, Doc?

Yes, I'm calling you.

I need some help here with this baby.

What baby, Doc?

Nothing. Go... go back to bed, Lewicki.

You're having a nightmare.

Or I am.

[Scoffs]

[Sighs]

[Baby cooing]

[Natalie humming]

It's not gonna bite.

Who knows where my schizophrenic brain is gonna take this.

Oh, please.

On some level, you want to be a father, or you wouldn't be hallucinating a baby.

The very fact that I am is exactly why it's not safe for me to be a parent.

Is that why you don't want kids?

Because you don't think it's safe?

I could never forgive myself if...

If what?

I have to spell it out for you?

M-m-me and Junior are playing catch in the yard one day and... and suddenly I start talking to a figment of my imagination while my child chases a ball into the street.

Or... or I-I leave my kid with a babysitter and something horrible happens because the sitter I hired was all in my head.

Daniel, you've done a great job at developing coping strategies to keep yourself safe.

If you really want to be a dad, maybe you can adopt.

Yeah. That's a great idea.

Psychotic single professor in his late 40s looking to adopt.

I think you're being hard on yourself.

And you are being unrealistic.

A baby is out of the question.

Then why are you hallucinating one?

Maybe my brain's just trying to tell me something.

What?

What are you trying to tell me?

Yeah, yeah, you're very good at being cute, but I'm gonna need more help than that.

[Chuckles]

I know what you're doing.

I know what you're doing.

You're a very cute baby with a head and eyes too large for your body, and right now, I can't help but feel attached because you're causing dopamine to flood my nucleus accumbens.

I know all about the science of cuteness, you manipulative, little runt.

The very essence of your survival lies in your ability to stimulate the genetically programmed protective mechanisms of those around you.

Well, it's not gonna work.

[Baby coos]

[Police radio chatter]

What's going on?

Please step outside.

No. Not until you tell me...

Do not make this any harder than it needs to be.

Step outside.

[Baby cooing]

[Emma sobs]

Oh, my God. Please stop them.

Please. Please don't take our baby.

It's not your baby.

[Sobbing]

Scott: Emma and I tried for years to get pregnant.

IVF, fertility dr*gs.

We even considered a surrogate at one point.

Then Lucy comes walking up to the station.

She told me that she never thought she'd be capable of harming her own baby, but an hour earlier, she found herself on the verge of shaking him.

And I told her she didn't have to give up the baby, that she could get help, that the important part here was that she didn't harm her baby.

She said that she... she couldn't take any chances.

She just took off.

I called DCFS as soon as she left.

Then you sat there waiting, staring at Owen, thinking about the life that he'd have in foster care.

What'd you say?

The cutest, little bugger you ever saw?

I couldn't take it.

He deserves stability and a mother and father who love him.

So when the social worker showed up, you lied and said that the mother had come back.

Look, I know I didn't handle everything perfectly, but I saved that baby.

No, Lucy saved her baby.

She was afraid she was gonna become like her mother, and somehow she found the strength to do the right thing.

You, on the other hand, took something that didn't belong to you.

I believe it's called kidnapping.

But you did a whole lot more than that, didn't you?

What? What... what are you what are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Scott.

You stole her baby, and then you k*lled her to cover it up.

What?

You saw Lucy on the news saying that her baby had been abducted.

You were afraid that she was gonna tell the cops that Owen was with you.

No.

No, I will admit that me and Emma got scared when we saw her on the news.

The next thing we know, she's dead.

And we just figured that the secret d*ed with her.

You buying it?

I don't know.

Me neither.

I mean, if he did want to k*ll Lucy to keep her from talking, why use a toy truck?

It's an odd choice for a m*rder w*apon.

Well, maybe he didn't go over there to k*ll her.

Maybe he went to talk to her, things got heated, he grabbed the closest thing to him, and he hit her with it.

[Baby crying]

Daniel?

What's going on?

Maybe this isn't about the baby.

Maybe it's about the doll.

We're here to make a baby.

You've come to the right place.

I spend hundreds of hours on each of my creations.

It separates me from other reborn artists.

Every tiny vein and birthmark and milk spot is hand-painted with exquisite attention to detail.

"Congratulations on becoming a proud parent "of an adopted reborn.

"Your child is not a toy but a delicate heirloom "that will bring decades of joy to you and your family if properly maintained."

Hon?

Hmm?

Get a load of all these rules.

"Don't smoke around the baby."

Sure.

"Don't bathe it, don't pull too hard on its limbs, "don't wear lotion when handling it, "don't leave dogs alone with it lest they mistake it for a chew toy."

Wow. This might be harder than taking care of an actual baby.

No, no, no.

Keep in mind that each of my creations is a one-of-a-kind collectors item that requires protective care.

So, yes, there are some responsibilities involved.

"Just like a real newborn, "your baby should be kept safe from extreme heat and cold.

"Never leave your baby in a hot car.

"If you ever find yourself in need of repairs, "please do not hesitate to contact me.

"As your baby's maker, I consider myself a committed godparent."

Careful.

[Chuckles]

Right.

I don't know, Hon.

These things just kind of seem like a pain in the ass.

Maybe we should just get a dog.

Aah! No, no, no!

You mustn't handle the doll so roughly.

They're weighted like real infants.

You can break the neck holding it so thoughtlessly.

Take a pill, man. It's just a doll.

Get out.

You don't deserve one of my creations.

And is that how you felt about Lucy Halpern?

That she didn't deserve one of your creations?

What is this?

Special agent Kate Moretti, FBI.

This is a m*rder investigation.

We dusted the crime scene for prints.

We got some pretty clean remnants on that toy truck.

Unless you have a warrant, I would like you to leave.

Lucy didn't take care of that doll, did she?

How would I know?

You put your whole being into that doll.

You breathed life into it.

You couldn't have felt more connected if it really was your own child.

And Lucy was an unfit mother, wasn't she?

When I saw her on the news, I realized she'd lost her mind.

And if she was stupidly treating the doll like a real infant, then she was surely ruining it!

So I decided to pay her a house call.

The paint job was suffering from too much sunlight.

I also noticed a cr*ck at the base of the head and mildew on the torso.

She'd obviously been bathing the doll.

God knows what else with it.

I was incensed to find the doll in such poor condition.

I told her I should never have sold it to her in the first place.

I was going to give her money back.

Please. Please don't take my baby.

I warned her that she was going to destroy it if she kept pulling, but she wouldn't stop!

I was up all night trying to repair the damage.

But now...

Oh.

It's perfect.

You k*lled a woman... over a doll.

It's... it's more than a doll.

It's a work of art.

Andrew: Hi.

There you go. Am I doing this right?

Yep. You're doing great.

Just make sure you support his head.

Oh, my gosh.

This is awesome.

Can you imagine?

The... the diaper changing, the crying, the lack of sleep.

I mean, that poor guy has no idea what he's in for.

I don't know. It wouldn't be that bad.

You too?

Huh?

[Sighs]

Donnie wants to have a whole litter of kids.

He's on a mission to buy a gigantic house so I can start popping them out now.

Wow.

I had no idea you guys were...

[Chuckles]

Congratulations.

Well, it's just...

I'm not sure I'm ready for kids just yet.

You've got time.

What if time wasn't the issue?

You afraid you won't be able to...

No, it isn't that.

It's...

I think what I'm getting at is...

I don't think I want kids at all.

Did you tell Donnie this?

I'm just worried about disappointing him.

Or worse.

Well, you're gonna have to be honest with him, Kate.

Kate: So, um, we're getting married again.

And you're showing me photos of a big house in the 'burbs, and you're talking about yards and school districts.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

You don't want to live in the suburbs, do you?

You know what?

Forget the house. You're right.

It's way too big for us, and the commute would probably be hell anyway.

We're city people.

I'll start looking for an awesome three-bedroom here.

Maybe something near the park.

And we'll take our kids to museums and dinner at fancy restaurants.

I mean, culture is really good for kids, right?

I love you.

[Chuckles]

[Sighs]

Daniel: How many of you have heard the term "mommy brain"?

For generations, women have been told that having children will turn their brains to mush, that the demands of motherhood will cause them to spiral into mindless behavior, like putting the keys in the refrigerator or the milk in the closet.

But in fact, recent studies show that new mothers develop certain cognitive enhancements.

The hypothalamus, the amygdala, and the prefrontal cortex actually grow postpartum.

These areas motivate a mom to, uh... to care for her infant, to enjoy the simple interactions, and to be more effective at skills like reasoning, planning, and judgment.

Put another way, love grows a mother's brain.

Literally.

But what about dads?

Men's testosterone levels drop by about a third in the weeks following their child's arrival, making them more nurturing, less aggressive.

But before you guys start panicking about the other side effect of low "T", just keep in mind that your wife will probably be more interested in the baby than in your baby maker.

[Laughter]

As amazing as these brain makeovers are, all the neurobiology in the world can't explain the joy that comes from holding a newborn.

Or from witnessing the miracle of new life.

Or so I'm told.