02x06 - Chuck Versus the Ex

[bunniefuu]

Chuck; Hey, I'm Chuck. Here's a couple of things that you might need to know or maybe you just forgot.

So, do you have a girlfriend?

Chuck: I did a while back at Stanford.

Oh.

Chuck: Yeah her name was Jill.

We met freshmen year.

We had so much in common then.

Morgan: Bryce Larkin.

Dude pretended to be his buddy sexed up his girl and got him kicked out of Stanford.

Ellie: Stanford was five years ago.

You need to move on.

Chuck: Fine, I'll get over Jill tomorrow.

Student; Hey, Chuck!

That's the dude that got kicked out for cheating.

Chuck: Yeah, I didn't cheat, actually, it's...

Oh! Hey, I'm just--

If you guys don't mind, I'm just gonna borrow these.

Continue with your game.

Gonna have to turn this off, too.

Jill!

Student 2: Come on.

Chuck: Jill! Hey!

It's Chuck. Please, I-I want a chance to explain my side face-to-face.

Shari: If Jill wanted to speak to you she would have returned one of your 28 phone calls.

Chuck: Hi, Shari.

Is she up there?

Jill...

I, uh, I was on break at-at work.

I'm actually working at a Buy More.

Of all places, yeah.

And I drove, you know, 346 miles straight from Burbank to see you and to tell you that I still love you.

Loser!

Jill: Chuck!

Chuck: Hey, hey, Jill!

Hey, um, I think I've thoroughly publicly embarrassed myself enough, so you think maybe we could go talk over some coffee or something like that?

Jill: It's too late, Chuck. It's over.

Chuck: When you say "it's over, " you mean, like, this conversation's over, right?

To be continued at the Starbucks?

Shari: She's dating Bryce Larkin now, Chuck.

Chuck: Bryce...

Shari: Deal with it.

I told you he was a loser.

Chuck: Is that true?

Jill: I'm sorry, Chuck.

♪ ♪

Emmet: Oh, I hate to disturb your reverie there, Chuck.

I'm going to need you to get down to the Sheraton Conference Center for a tech-support call.

Pronto.

Chuck: Sure thing, Emmet.

Got any Boston cream in there?

Emmet; Oh, yeah, several.

Ah...

Big mike: Why, Emmet, you shouldn't have.

Oh, they just look delicious.

Emmett: Oh, my God.

You breathing?

Try to relax. Try to relax.

Oh, my God!

Help! This man's dying!

Lester: No, no, Emmet, Emmet, you're doing it wrong-- you're supposed to hold his mouth open, reach down and grab it.

Guess that way works, too.

Jeff: Are there any more donuts?

Chuck: Huh, BioScience conference.

I bet these things get pretty wild, huh?

All right, o the networks should now be all set up with ten-based T Ethernet connecting all the servers for the conference with a firewall in place.

Is there a problem?

Chuck: Can you tell me if the attractive brown-eyed, slightly egg-headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still here?

She's here.

Why? Who is she?

Chuck: Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart.

I need, I need a diversion.

Would it be a terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?

Jill: Hi, I'm Dr. Jill Roberts. Is there someone that can help me with the tech requirements for my lecture?

Under the desk.

What?

Jill: Hi.

Chuck?

Chuck: Ah!

It was the flange just there.

Jill: Chuck Bartowski.

Chuck: Present.

Yes, that's me.

Jill; It's me, Jill.

Chuck: Jill, oh, my gosh! Of course!

Yes.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, you!

How are you? !

Jill; Good.

So good to... see you.

Jill: You, too. How long has it been?

Chuck: Five years, four months-ish, give or take, kind of in that neighborhood.

Uh, what have you been up to?

Jill: Uh, well, after Stanford, I got my PhD in biomedical engineering.

Chuck; Did you?

Jill; Yeah. I'm giving a presentation at the conference on infectious diseases.

Chuck: Lovely.

Jill: And you?

Chuck: And me.

And me.

Uh-uh still in the computer game, you know?

Yeah, I-I-I work my own, my own little, little-little company.

16, 17-- I can't remember which-- stores.

But every once in a while I like to do the installs myself, you know, don the uni, kind of get my hands mussy.

Jill: I'm really happy for you, Chuck.

The-the last time I saw you were-- you were working at a Buy More.

Chuck: Ah!

That was a wonderful growing experience.

Really, really character building.

And I wouldn't-- wouldn't change it for the world.

Jill: Well... there's definitely some things I would change.

Especially about us.

Guy: There you are.

We're running late.

Jill: Oh.

Guy, this is my old friend Chuck Bartowski-- Chuck, this is my boss Guy LeFleur.

Chuck: Hi. Nice to meet you.

Guy: I work with germs, so, you know.

I'm sure your friend's busy.

Has, uh, computers to fix.

Shall we?

Jill; Sure.

Chuck, I'm staying at the Hotel Waldron, so give me a call if you want to grab a cup of coffee.

Chuck; Yeah, uh, well, you know, I'm busy.

I'll check with my people.

Beckman: Your ex-girlfriend's boss,

Guy LeFleur, is the head research scientist for the European company Cole-MacGregor Pharmaceuticals.

And my six has reports that he may have developed a bioweapon which he plans to sell to the highest bidder.

Chuck: Is Jill involved?

Beckman: It's your job to find out, Chuck.

Casey and Sarah will surveil Dr. LeFleur.

We need you to reconnect with Jill.

Find out what she knows about Guy.

Chuck: Right, right, right, right.

When you say "reconnect, " you mean send her an e-mail or invite her to be my new FaceBook friend, right?

Beckman: Call her at her hotel and make a date.

See if you flash on anything she says or anyone you meet.

Chuck: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a date with my ex? No, General, that-that is a terrible idea.

You see, she broke my heart.

She destroyed me.

She took all of my confidence, my mojo.

Casey: You had mojo?

Chuck: I was on my way.

Oh, and by the way, she slept with Bryce Larkin.

Casey: Hmm. Who hasn't?

Sarah: Look, Chuck, I know that Jill hurt you, but maybe seeing her again will give you the closure that you've always wanted.

You have done a lot for the CIA, and we're gonna make you look good.

Casey: Yeah, look on the bright side.

Now you can get your mojo back.

Emmett: As you already know we nearly lost our dear leader today.

And to what?

One tiny little carb-filled donut.

Morgan: Please. We lost Big Mike to donuts years ago?

Emmett; I shudder to think how people like you would respond to an actual catastrophe.

A fire, an earthquake...

Lester: An all-out race w*r.

Emmet: And that is why Michael and I have decided to implement an emergency preparedness course.

And it just so happens that one of your colleagues knew someone willing to teach it.

Awesome: Buenos dias, class.

Chuck: Hey, uh, you sure you want to do this?

Awesome; I love volunteer work, Chuck.

Besides, CPR's a breeze.

A child could learn it.

Chuck: Well, then maybe you have a sh*t.

Uh, hey, everybody, you're in great hands.

Awesome is who certified me.

Emmet; You might be certified, Chuck.

But you still have to take the test like everyone else.

Casey: Let's go, Romeo.

Time for your big date.

The CIA is shelling out a lot to make you look good.

Awesome: Okay, so who's ready to pound some plastic?

Ellie: Hey!

Wow.

New suit?

You have a big date?

Chuck: No big date. Why?

Ellie: Looks expensive.

No, no, no, no.

It was cheap. Yeah, real cheap.

It was on sale.

I had a coupon.

Ellie: Uh-huh.

I think it's cute you get all dressed up for Sarah.

She's lucky.

Chuck: Hey, sis.

Ellie: Hmm?

Chuck; Um... do you ever think about your ex-boyfriend, Doug Wald?

Ellie: No. Why?

Chuck: Let's say totally randomly old Dougie, you know, you guys ran into each other and he asked you out to dinner to catch up on old times? What would you say?

Ellie: I guess theoretically, I'd say yes.

Chuck: I am so glad you said that. You see, I-I'm not going out with Sarah tonight, I'm actually going out with Jill.

Ellie: Jill? ! No!

No, no, no!

Absolutely not!

Chuck: What, what about what you just said about Doug?

Ellie: Just forget what I just said, okay?

There is no scenario in which you should be going to dinner with the girl that dumped you, broke your heart and slept with your best friend.

Chuck, you bought a new suit?

Chuck: I told you, coupon.

Ellie: Chuck... look, I'm trying not to be the overprotective big sister.

Chuck: You? Never.

Ellie: It's just that I know that she hurt you, you know?

I don't want to see you go through that again.

Chuck: But...

Sticky clutch.

Remind me to have my assistant to have that fixed.

Jill: I think the valet's up a little further.

Chuck: Beautiful night for a walk, huh?

Shall we?

Okay. Here we go.

Thank you.

Casey: Hey, Bartowski.

Welcome.

Chuck: Thank you.

Casey: Hope you haven't been waiting long. Right this way.

Hey.

Hello, sir.

Chuck; Hello. Yeah, hello.

Hi.

Looking good, Mr. Bartowski.

Looking good.

Chuck: Is everyone in here CIA?

Casey; Of course.

Chuck; Huh, thank you Jonathan.

Jill: Wow, I'm impressed.

It's like you own the place.

Chuck: No, no, no, God no.

Just, uh, just an investor.

I mean, what can I say?

I'm a sucker for a good veal parm.

Sarah: Good evening, Mr. Bartowski.

Can I get you two anything to drink?

The usual perhaps?

A 2000 Les Fiefs de Lagrange.

Chuck:,Oui, oui.

Jill: I'm really glad things turned out so well for you, Chuck.

Especially after, you know, what happened.

Chuck: Yeah, uh... about that.

Um, Jill, I-I never stole those tests.

Jill: Well, uh, that doesn't matter now.

Chuck: Sure, it doesn't matter now.

You know, now that I drive a fine Italian automobile and I'm alarmingly well-known at this particular restaurant, but I needed you to believe me when it did matter.

Jill: I do believe you, Chuck, and... maybe I should've believed you at Stanford.

But the tests were in your room and Bryce said you were cheating.

What was I supposed to think at the time?

Chuck: Yeah, Bryce must've made a very convincing argument for you to dump me and then hop right into his bed.

♪ ♪

Jill: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Sarah: I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Bartowski, but there's a phone call for you at the bar.

Chuck: Excuse me.

Sarah: What do you think you're doing?

Chuck: Getting closure.

She owes me an explanation.

Casey: No, she doesn't.

She exercised her First Amendment right to dump you.

Now get back in there and find out what Guy is planning.

Sarah: Look, Chuck, I know it's hard, but tonight, you have to be a spy first.

Chuck: Yeah, it is hard. I'm not like you, Sarah.

I can't turn my emotions on and off like some robot.

I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.

I'm not acting like myself tonight.

Sarah: Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?

Chuck: Personally, I'd like another ten to 15 minutes of really pathetic self-indulgence, but duty calls.

I'm going back in.

Thanks.

Sorry about that.

No more interruptions.

I promise, and, uh, by the way, that guy who was just sitting here a couple minutes ago.

You remember him? Looked just like Chuck Bartowski?

He was a little whiny and bitter?

Turns out, he's an imposter.

Jill: Really?

Chuck: Yeah, really, but don't worry about it, 'cause I just kung fu'd him at the bar, and he won't be bothering you for the rest of the evening.

Jill: Oh, I'm glad, 'cause I like this Chuck Bartowski a lot more.

Chuck: Me, too.

So, uh, you never told me exactly what you were working on.

Jill: Oh, uh, I can't really talk about it.

That sounds mysterious, I know.

I'm starting to think there are some sketchy people involved.

I'm probably just being paranoid.

I just, I don't know who to trust.

Chuck; You can trust me.

Jill: Remember biochem?

We're working on a strain of influenza, specifically how the hemagglutinin protein fuses the viral envelope with the vacuole's membrane.

Did that sound like total gibberish?

Chuck: I understood completely, "Do you remember biochem? "

And then everything after that was a little fuzzy.

Jill: Okay, I'll simplify.

Lester: Yo, Charles!

Hey, buddy.

Jeff: Who's the babe?

Lester: First Sarah, now this Chiquita banana?

When are you going to start sharing the wealth, buddy?

Nice to meet you.

Jill: Who's, uh, Sarah?

And, um, are these friends of yours?

Chuck: No. No, they're just old, old Buy More colleagues that haven't moved on.

Move on. Move on.

Your car, sir.

Chuck: Oh, thank you.

Jeff: Whoa! Whose Ferrari?

Jill: This isn't your car?

Lester: Um, the guy makes $12. 50 an hour at the Buy More.

You do the math, sister.

Jill: You still work at the Buy More, Chuck?

Chuck: Yes, I do.

Jill: You do. What about your computer business?

Chuck: Technically, the Buy More offers a wide range of hardware and other things...

Jill: Wow, too bad Stanford doesn't offer a BA in BS, 'cause you could've graduated early.

Chuck; Jill, please don't! Look, I'm not-- it's not all a lie!

I can explain to you...

Lester: Charles, we did not mean to bust your whole little...

Chuck: Just go home!

That's it. Attaboy, work the body!

Morgan: Work the body, kid. Work the body!

Lester: Hi, I'm Sarah, Chuck's hot, blonde girlfriend.

Jeff: And I'm Chuck's smoking hot brunette.

Bitch.

Slut.

There's only one way to settle this.

Pillow fight!

Pillow fight!

Awesome: Okay, so how's everyone coming with the chest... ?

You're a dirty girl.

Awesome: Come on, guys.

What's wrong with you?

Jeff: I drink too much.

Lester: My parents had impossible standards.

Awesome: Well, let's get serious.

How do you expect to pass the exam tomorrow?

Lester: Exam? Come again?

Awesome: Emmett didn't tell you about the written part of the test?

Jeff: Man, if I wanted to take tests, I would've been a boat captain.

So what happens if we don't pass?

We get lousy jobs and live a small, under-realized life in the Valley, oh, scary.

Emmet: Or you can take the 30-hour remedial course, unpaid, and on your own time.

Oh, that seemed to get their attention.

Doctor...

Hot, hot...

Ellie: Am I supposed to ignore you or can I ask you a series of personal questions that you have to answer?

Chuck: You were right.

You're always right.

I never should've gone out with Jill last night.

Ellie: Chuck, maybe I overreacted.

You know? Maybe there was a reason to go to dinner with Jill.

Chuck: Yeah, to humiliate myself.

Ellie: Come on, the way things ended with you guys, you've always had a million questions and no answers, and now you finally got some.

Chuck; So what?

What good did it do me to go poking around in my past?

Ellie: Because maybe now, without all that wondering and what-iffing, you can finally close that chapter of your life.

Chuck; Right again.

Guy: New York steak, medium rare.

Room 1104.

Sarah: Guy just ordered room service.

Casey: Hmm...

Chuck: Easy, easy, hey.

I come in peace.

Casey: What the hell are you doing here?

Chuck: I thought I'd swing by and, you know, check up on Jill; make sure she's doing all right.

Sarah: She's fine, Chuck.

She came home last night and she hasn't left her room since.

Casey: Wait, wait-- shh!

She's making a call.

Jill: Hello?

Damn, bug's on the fritz.

Sarah: We need a new one.

I'll go in as housekeeping and plant another.

Casey: She might recognize you as the waitress from the restaurant.

I'll just tranq her.

She'll wake up in an hour, thinking nothing of it.

Chuck: Whoa, whoa, whoa-- hey, hey.

I'll go. I'll go.

I'll apologize for last night, she'll tell me what a giant loser I am, and I'll plant the new bug; no tranqing necessary.

Sarah: You know where it goes, Chuck?

One button on the bottom, click on, click off.

All right.

Morgan: I'm going in.

I'm going in.

Allow me between six and eight minutes to get in, grab the test and get out.

Are you guys ready?

Lester: I was born ready.

Jeff: I was born premature.

Morgan: Showtime.

Lester; Hey.

Ellie: Chuck's not here, sorry.

Lester: No-no-no-no-no we know.

We know, we know, Elizabeth.

That's why we're here, to talk to you about Chuck.

Morgan: Awesome's bag.

Lester: Has Charles been acting a little, um... strange lately?

Ellie: No. No more than usual, why?

Jeff: We think Chuck might have rabies.

Lester: All the signs are there: bouts of confusion, general edginess, and at lunch, Jeff here thought he saw some foam around his mouth.

Ellie: Okay, I appreciate the concern.

Good-bye.

Lester: Oh, no.

Awesome: Looking for something?

You didn't think I'd leave this in my bag, did you?

Ellie: Honey, you won't believe what I just...

Morgan, are you holding my underwear?

Morgan: Wait a second, wait a second.

Wait, I-I need to be very clear about this.

Okay, the only thing I came in here to steal was a CPR test.

So any suggestions to anything pervy-related to your panties... panties-- underpants is, frankly, outrageous.

Ellie: So you deny being a perv, but you admit to being a thief?

Morgan: Do I at least get points for honesty?

Jill: Who is it?

Chuck: It's the lying, yet well-meaning fool who rented a Ferrari last night.

Casey: Ten bucks says she doesn't open the door for him.

Sarah: Make it $20 and you're on.

Jill: I don't want to talk to you, Chuck.

Chuck: Okay, well, then, I'll do all the talking.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but I'm here to do something totally crazy and tell you the truth.

I still work at the Buy More and, uh, I still live with my sister, and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

I guess I just wanted you to think I was someone special, so... in order to accomplish that, I went out and got a new suit and rented a car that I clearly have no idea how to drive, because from the second I saw you again, I knew that I hadn't gotten over you yet, Jill.

Jill: Really?

You haven't gotten over me?

Chuck: No.

Jill: Get in here.

Sorry about the mess.

Still working on the lecture.

Chuck: Yeah, you were starting to say last night... infectious disease or something.

I don't know, it sounded like you were speaking Aramaic.

Jill: Not Aramaic.

Simple biochem 101.

Oh, right.

You slept through that class in college.

Chuck; Lot of good that would do me in my current line of work.

Jill: Stop it!

Chuck: Stop what?

Jill: Stop underselling yourself, Chuck.

There was a part of last night, somewhere after getting minor whiplash in your car and before abandoning you on the side of the road, where I had a really, really nice time.

Chuck: Really?

Jill: Yes... so no more lies.

No more deception, okay?

Chuck: No more lies, no more deception.

Jill; Good.

Do you know how much I missed doing this?

Chuck: Missed doing what?

Sarah: What happened?

Chuck: Huh? Oh.

Yeah, no, it was... it was great, fine.

We really connected.

Casey: She's talking about the bug, moron.

Chuck: Oh, that.

Yes, of course, that, I planted it.

It is planted.

I may have turned it off, though-- I'm not...

Sarah: Why would you do that?

Casey: Relax, these things are pretty much idiot-proof.

If it's in the room, it picks up the signal.

It worked, we're tapped in to her cell and the room phone.

Sarah: Why are you smiling like that?

Chuck: She kissed me.

No spy stuff, no lies, just me.

Oh! Uh, that dude is some kind of an assassin-- his code name is Wolf Den.

Casey: 11-- that's Guy's floor.

Sarah: Chuck...

Chuck: Yeah, I know, I know.

Stay in the van.

Casey: Don't touch anything.

Chuck: Ow!

Wolf: Room service, sir.

Guy: Just put it over here.

Shari: Hello?

Jill; Hey, it's Jill.

Shari: How are you after last night?

Jill: I'm doing great, Shari.

You're not gonna believe who came to my room to apologize tonight.

Shari; Please tell me you didn't let that loser in.

Jill: Well, he looked like a puppy dog.

I couldn't say no.

And... I still think he's kind of cute.

Shari: Cute? He's a computer dork that makes ten bucks an hour.

Chuck: Hello... it's $12. 50.

Jill: Chuck?

Chuck, are you on my phone?

Chuck: Uh, Jill, is that you?

Jill: Why are you on my phone?

Chuck: I don't know, I don't know.

It's so... it's...

I tried calling you, so I...

I think our... our wires got crossed or something.

Is this a party line?

Jill: What did you do to my phone? Did you bug it or something?

Chuck: Bug it? What... what am I, an entomologist?

No, you're... you're talking crazy jargon.

Jill: I'm calling security.

Chuck: Oh, oh, oh.

Sarah: It's bolted on the inside.

Go.

Clear.

Casey; Chuck, Guy is not in his room.

Chuck: I know.

Let it all out.

Thank you.

Chuck: I feel terrible.

Maybe I should go in there and console her.

Sarah; She can't know you're a spy, Chuck.

Chuck: Of course, she'll just think I'm a stalker.

Sarah: She doesn't think you're a stalker.

So...

Why do you think Guy was k*lled?

Jill: What is this place?

Why was I blindfolded?

Casey: It's a secret CIA compound.

We've been watching you for days, Ms. Roberts.

Jill: Watching me? Why?

Casey: We thought your boss, Guy, was into some shady business.

We kept an eye on you, as well.

To protect you.

Jill: That's my ex-boyfriend, Chuck.

Is he involved in this?

He's been acting really weird lately.

One minute, he's completely normal.

The next, he's acting like total lunatic.

Sarah: She didn't say stalker.

Jill: Almost like a stalker.

Casey: Yeah, it can be a pattern with these losers.

A pretty girl smiles at them, they get all infatuated.

Seen it a million times.

No.

He wasn't involved.

Your boss, Guy, however...

Jill: Maybe Guy was involved, but not how you think.

Guy had discovered an antiviral serum for a strain of influenza used in a bioweapon, an airborne influenza so deadly it could k*ll a person within one hour if exposed.

Now, a couple of days ago, Guy learned that our company secretly sells the influenza bioweapon.

That's why Guy planned to present our research at the convention, so that the company couldn't cover it up any more.

I guess it's up to me to do that now.

Chuck: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So, you'll do the presentation...

Chuck: No, it's too dangerous, Casey!

Jill: Um, your window's knocking.

Casey: Excuse me.

What?

Chuck: Jill is not going to the conference.

The assassin will kl her.

Casey: It's our only chance, the only way to smoke him out.

Chuck: It is too dangerous for her, all right?

I am putting my foot down.

Gingerly.

Casey: Look, Bartowski, my job is to look after all the citizens of this nation, not just the girl that raises your flag.

Chuck: Sarah... please, we can't use Jill as bait and risk her life giving that presentation.

Sarah: Fine, I'll give the presentation.

Jeff: Where's Chuck?

Morgan: Jeff, he will be here, okay?

And as long as we play this cool, we can cheat off of Chuck, and he'll never know, all right.

He knows the CPR stuff inside and out.

Lester: Yeah, but Morgan, if he doesn't show, we are in...

Emmet: If who doesn't show?

Oh, let me guess: the perennially tardy Chuck.

Chuck: Hi, hi, sorry I'm late.

Awesome: Oh, you're right on time, bro.

Hey.

Yeah, no problem.

Emmet: That was interesting.

You have one hour to take the test.

You may begin... now.

Chuck: Oh, no, that's not right.

No, of course not.

Casey: Anything?

Sarah: It's all good so far.

Please take your seats.

Giving the presentation for Dr. Lafleur will be... his associate coming from Sydney, Australia. Dr. Eva Anderson.

Sarah: Thank you.

Yes, g'day, I'm Dr. Eva Anderson, and I'm here to talk to you all today about a deadly poison that could change the course of human science.

I'm honored to stand before you all today on behalf of Dr. Lafleur.

Throughout the many years of our research...

Um, excuse me, I've got to go to the loo.

Casey:,Seal the room, seal the room!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is an NSA emergency.

No one-- I repeat, no one-- gets in or out.

Chuck: Sorry, sorry.

Oh, um, I'm sorry, I have to take this.

This could be an important call.

Emmet: Oh, I'm sorry, and this isn't important?

There is no leaving the room during the test.

Chuck: Casey, hey, everything okay?

Casey: Our Wolf Den friend released the poison.

Sarah got out.

I'm still in here with the scientists.

Hazmat crews are on their way.

We have an hour, maybe less.

You gotta get to Jill.

See if she has an antidote.

Chuck: Um, I... I really don't think she wants to see me right now.

Casey: Chuck, we're dying here.

I don't care what you have to say or do, just get it done.

Chuck: Gotta go, good luck.

Emmet: I guess someone doesn't think saving lives is important.

Chuck: Jill, it's Chuck, you have to open the door!

Jill: Go away, Chuck!

This isn't funny anymore.

Chuck: Look, it's an emergency, okay?

I know that my credibility with you is at an all-time low but you need to listen to me.

The bioweapon has been released at the conference center.

Jilk: How do you know about the virus?

Chuck: Because, Jill... I'm a CIA agent.

Jill: Oh, my God, Chuck, you really need to get some help.

Chuck: I am the help.

Don't believe anything else that I've told you, but believe this. We have to get them the antidote right now.

Jill: I'm going to call the police, Chuck.

Chuck: I've already taken the liberty.

Have a look for yourself.

Jill: Oh, my God.

You are telling the truth.

Hold on.

Chuck: She's pretty cute, right?

We used to date.

Jill: Okay.

Chuck: Okay.

Look, just stay close, don't be scared.

All right, people, wheels up.

Let's move!

Hey!

Who's in charge here?

I am.

Chuck: Not anymore.

Thank you.

Casey, it's Chuck.

I'm with Jill. What's your status?

Casey: By my time, we got about 15 minutes.

Jill:I have to go in there.

Okay, I need a Level A Hazmat suit right now.

We don't have those suits yet.

CDC will be here in ten minutes.

Jill: We don't have ten minutes.

I'll go in without one.

Chuck: No. You? No.

It's too dangerous. I'll do it.

Jill: Chuck, whoever goes in there has to be able to make the antidote. That's me.

Chuck: Well, is it something you could talk me through?

Jill: I guess.

Chuck; Okay, well, then I'm going in.

Jill: No, Chuck, wait!

Are you sure?

Chuck: Yeah.

I'm sure.

Jill; Okay.

Okay, uh... .

I'm going to have to inject you first.

Chuck: Uh...

Oh, that's a big needle.

Jill: Ready?

Chuck: Yeah.

Yeah...

Jill: Okay, that has a modified version of the viral strain.

Now your body metabolizes the poison and the antiviral serum is going to be created from your blood.

Chuck: Poison? Poison? !

I thought I was getting the antidote?

You just gave me poison? !

Jill; Yeah.

It's the only way to make the antidote.

Did you not understand that?

Chuck: Oh, that.

Of-- No, I understand that whole part.

We're living on the edge.

Love the rush.

Oh, damn.

Sarah: CIA?

Casey: Oh, no, no, no, no, what are you doing in here?

Chuck; It's a long story, but the headline is I'm our only hope for survival.

Casey: And here I thought things couldn't get any worse.

Jill: Okay, inside the briefcase, is a medisyringe, multi-dose injector.

I need you to extract 60 cc's of your own blood, put it through the centrifuge, and then inject one cc of the antiviral serum into each of those infected.

Chuck; Okay, okay.

Casey, here--

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Casey, you have, you have to take the g*n.

Huh?

Chuck: Take the g*n. And you have to--

You have to take my blood, okay?

So just take my blood.

Casey: Okay.

Okay.

Casey: Take the g*n, Chuck.

Take the g*n, Chuck.

Chuck: Huh?

What?

Casey: Take the g*n.

Take the...

Chuck: Oh, God.

Jill; Chuck, what's happening?

Chuck: I need-- I need help right now. Casey's fading fast!

The g*n just dropped!

And it shattered!

Jill; That was the only syringe!

Okay, uh, stay calm.

I'm-I'm going to find another.

Chuck: Jill, please hurry.

We're running out of time.

Emmet: Oh, time's running out, gentlemen.

You have one minute left.

Oh! And I see you have yet to attempt the Heimlich section.

Interesting.

Morgan: Oh, good Lord!

I think Jeff is choking!

Lester: Someone should do the-the Heimlich or something!

Awesome: Jeff, Jeff, can you speak?

Emmet: Are you choking?

Awesome: Okay, on your feet.

On your feet!

All right, on the count of three I'm going to do an inward and upward thrust.

Two inches above your belly button.

One, two, three!

Check to see if the item is dislodged and repeat

Emmet; Oh yes!

Morgan, lester: Done!

Chuck: What are we gonna do, Casey?

Casey: Think of something.

You're smart.

You went to Stanford.

Sort of.

Ugh, God!

Cover your mouth.

That's disgusting!

Chuck: That's it!

Hey, hey, this is gonna sound crazy, but-but viruses are spread airborne, right?

Casey: Yeah.

Chuck: I mean, you catch them when someone sneezes. Coughs.

Casey; Yeah.

Chuck: Well, maybe the antivirals metabolize in saliva.

Casey; What are you talking about?

Chuck; I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Casey: What?

No, no!

No, no, no, no.

I served my country with honor, Bartowski.

Please.

Let me die with my dignity.

Jill: Chuck?

Chuck: Jill!

Jill: What are you doing?

Chuck; Jill, Jill, hey.

I thought that-- I thought that maybe the antivirals could be spread by saliva.

Jill: That's ridiculous.

No wonder you failed biochem.

Chuck; From the deepest recesses of my soul, I'm sorry.

Oh, here we go again.

Jill: Okay, you take half the room, I'll take the other. One cc each.

Okay? Hurry.

Chuck: Okay, okay. Casey, Casey.

Casey: Ah.

Way to go, Agent Carmichael!

Jill: Chuck!

You're amazing.

Chuck: Nah.

Well, maybe a little.

Casey: Jill Roberts now knows Chuck's an asset.

What do you want us to do about it?

Beckman: I want you to do nothing.

The assassin Agent Walker sh*t was a member of Fulcrum.

A rogue CIA agent.

We don't know the extent of their penetration.

If Jill knows something they may make a play for her.

Casey: So, you want to use her as bait?

Sarah: General, uh, Chuck has real feelings for Jill.

I don't think he'd approve of us using her like this.

Beckman: That's why you're not going to tell him, Agent Walker.

Ellie: Wow.

That's something I haven't seen in a while.

Chuck: What, this--

I wear this like four times a week.

Ellie: No, your smile.

You look happy.

Chuck: Yeah.

Yeah, that.

That thing.

Um, I don't know.

I guess, uh, I found some of those answers that you said I was looking for.

Ellie: Well, thank God.

I am so relieved.

I just think that, you know, Sarah--

There's really something special about her.

I think that you had to go through all that stuff with Jill so you could figure out who the one is for you.

And now that you found her you'll stop wondering about somebody else.

Take it.

Tell Sarah I said hi.

Jill; Hey.

How's my favorite secret agent?

Chuck: Um... good.

Yeah, good.

I just-- I have to study for a CPR test for my day job at the Buy More.

I could use some help with the mouth-to-mouth.

Jill; Well, what about your cover girlfriend?

Won't she be jealous?

Chuck: No.

No, our-our relationship's a cover, you know.

There's nothing to be jealous about.

Jill; So everything... it's all fake.

That sounds really lonely, Chuck.

Chuck: Yeah, it is.

But... but now that you're here maybe we can have something real.

Us. Together.

Jill: I like the sound of that.

Chuck: So about that mouth-to-mouth...