03x03 - Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte

[bunniefuu]

Professor: Let's jump right in.

Who would like to help me dissect the branches of the femoral artery?

Anyone?

No one?

Fine.

How about, uh, Mr. Woodcomb?

Devon?

Devon?

Seems Devon has more pressing concerns on his first day of medical school.

So perhaps, uh, Ms. Eleanor Bartowski would like to give me a hand, hmm?

Well, wherever Mr. Woodcomb and Ms. Bartowski are, I hope they're gaining an appreciation of the human body.

♪ ♪

Ellie: What did you say your name was?

Devon: Devon.

Yours?

Ellie; Ellie.

Devon: Pleasure to meet you, Ellie.

Ellie: You know, I don't normally make out with strangers in broom closets like this.

(slamming)

Devon; We're not strangers.

Remember?

I'm Devon, you're Ellie.

Oh, God, I love med school.

(laughs) (moans)

Ellie: Broom! Broom! Broom!

Have you seen the broom?

Can you forget about the TV?

I just broke another one of our wedding plates.

Devon: I can do this.

I just have to channel my inner Chuck.

Ellie: Chuck who?

That person's dead to me.

Devon: Relax, babe, I have nine years of post-graduate education.

I can figure out a stupid TV set.

Ellie: You know, he said he was gonna help us move.

No excuses.

Devon: Well, honey, you remember how it is.

He's young, fancy-free.

Probably just slipped his mind.

Ellie: Honey, look at this.

This is our wedding album.

Is it just me or does this feel like a million years ago?

What happened to us?

Devon: Well, we moved.

We went back to work.

Real life happened.

Ellie: Well, when do we get to take a break from real life?

When do we get to be these people again?

Devon: Okay, here's the deal.

Enough moving for one night.

I'm gonna get us some real food, we're gonna sit on this couch and we're gonna watch our wedding video.

And then maybe later we can recreate our wedding night.

Ellie: What about the TV?

(helicopter approaching)

Devon: That's a job for a professional.

(helicopter hovering above)

Ellie: Is it just me or has there been like a lot of helicopters lately?

Devon: Hmm.

Hadn't noticed.

( Chuck yells)

Devon: Sorry, dude.

Didn't mean to scare you.

Chuck; Really?

Well, then maybe you shouldn't be sneaking into my room in the middle of the night.

Devon: Well, then maybe you should tell your pilot to land a little farther from the apartment.

Chuck; Oh, right.

Sorry about that.

The thing is, he doesn't really know the Echo Park area all that well.

But, uh, we'll work on that.

Hey, can you, uh, do me a favor and help me get out of this thing right here?

Just pull down on the...

Devon: Where were you tonight?

You told Ellie that you were gonna help us out with the TV.

She's a little pissed, bro.

Chuck: Oh, man, my bad.

I had a, uh, CIA mission.

Devon: What exactly does that mean?

Chuck; Well, you know, same old, same old.

Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party.

Another bad guy's trying to sell him a w*apon.

We bust both bad guys, diffuse a b*mb.

Blah, blah, blah.

Devon: That sounds kind of kickass.

What do you got under there?

Chuck: Body armor.

Devon; You might want to leave that on when you come over.

Like I said, your sister's about to blow.

Chuck; All right.

Devon: Chuck, you could've been a surgeon with those hands.

Ellie: He could've been a lot of things.

I would settle for being on time.

Chuck: That should do it.

Try it now.

(remote clicks on)

News Anchor: It has been reported, Premier Alejandro Goya collapsed shortly after...

Ellie: Oh, oh, look at that.

I take it back, you're a genius.

I'm gonna get the wedding DVD.

News Anchor: This visit to the U. S. is the first for the outspoken Costa Gravan leader.

Goya has ruled his small nation ever since a Communist coup in 1974.

Devon: Speaking of collapsing, Chuck, you okay?

Chuck: Huh, what?

Yes, yeah.

I'm fine; I'm a little light-headed.

That's all.

(phone ringing)

I gotta run.

Devon: What is it? Another mission?

Huh, something with the Premier?

Chuck; You know, I'm sorry, buddy, it's spy stuff; it's confidential.

(phone ringing)

Where are you going?

Devon: Sorry, buddy, doctor stuff.

Confidential.

Chuck: Hmm.

Ellie: Hey!

What happened to recreating our wedding night?

Devon: Sorry, babe. Duty calls.

I will make it up to you, I promise.

Beckman: The Costa Gravan premier is listed in critical condition.

Casey: Outstanding. Want me to cr*ck the bubbly?

Beckman: No. I want you to go to the hospital and guard against further threats to his life, natural or otherwise.

Casey: But haven't you personally given me the order to k*ll that commie crackpot on three separate occasions?

Beckman: And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.

Sarah: I thought you said you had a perfect record.

Chuck: Wow. This is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.

Beckman: Our relations with Costa Gravas have changed, Colonel.

The premier is here to announce plans to open his nation up to democratic elections.

Casey: Oh, and you believe that?

Beckman; Our duty is to stop anyone who would stop him from going through with his plan.

Understood?

Casey; Yes, ma'am.

SARAH: So, we're assuming this was an assassination attempt?

Beckman: We're not assuming anything until we've secured his medical records.

That brings me to your assignment.

The premier is being treated at...

Chuck: Let me guess.

Westside Medical?

Beckman: Correct.

(speaking Spanish)

... he's stable.

(heart monitor beeping rhythmically)

Devon: Everybody relax. The doctor's here.

Chuck: General, are you suggesting that I exploit my sister and/or brother-in-law to acquire confidential medical records for governmental use?

Beckman; Yes, Chuck, that's exactly what I'm suggesting.

(snaps fingers) Chuck: I knew it. I was on...

Wait. Hold on a second, General.

Beckman; If anything happens to the premier, I'm holding you responsible.

Head of Security: If anything happens to this man, I'm holding you responsible.

(tires screeching)

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

(whimpers)

News Anchor: In a miraculous turn of events, the Costa Gravan premier is being released from the hospital just hours after being rushed to the emergency room.

Right now, we go to Westside Medical for a live press conference.

Reporter: Dr. Woodcomb?

REPORTER 2: Dr. Woodcomb?

REPORTER 3: It was reported that the premier suffered heart failure.

How do you account for his amazing recovery?

Devon: I can only say this.

The premier is an amazing man, a real fighter.

Casey: I'm gonna be sick.

Dr. Woodcomb? Dr. Woodcomb?

Reporter: ÿCuales son la probabilidades del premier volviendo al trabajo?

Devon: What is the probability of the premier returning to work?

Hmm. Las probabilidades de que se reincorporan al trabajo es muy Awesome.

Sarah: Is there anything your brother-in-law can't do?

Chuck: Well, thus the nickname.

Casey: Okay, enough sitting around.

We need to figure out what really happened to the premier.

Let's go apprehend the good doctor, get those medical records out of him.

Chuck: Nobody is apprehending anybody.

He's family. I can talk to him.

Sarah: Just remember, Chuck, he's a civilian, so be cool.

Chuck: Hello. (laughs)

Sorry, bro. Didn't mean to scare you.

Devon: You didn't.

Chuck: I didn't?

Whatever.

Listen, there's a few questions I need to ask you.

Devon; It's about the premier, right?

Sure you want to talk about this here, hmm?

Doesn't the CIA want to debrief me or something?

Chuck: I am debriefing you.

That's what I'm doing right now. This is a debriefing.

Devon: I mean, in your secret base.

Chuck: Secret... You've watched too many movies.

Just tell me what you know about the premier.

Devon: Well, I know he didn't really have a heart att*ck.

His potassium level was off the charts.

I don't know how it got into his system...

Chuck: So he was poisoned.

Okay, that's all I needed to know. Thanks.

Devon: Whoa, Chuck, you know, if there's anything else I can do?

Chuck: No. You've been great.

Devon: No. Seriously.

If the CIA needs an extra set of hands...

Chuck: Good to know.

Devon: Chuck, you're not hearing me.

Okay? Nothing against married life, but I could use some real excitement.

Chuck: Devon, you're an adventure sports cardiologist.

Devon: Whatever, man. I can do that in my sleep.

You know, I need some real action.

Some real adrenaline.

I want to feel like I felt out on the football field, dude.

You know, I can still run a fou r-four-40.

Chuck: Great.

If we ever need a tight-end, you're the first call I'm making, but until then, you're my brother-in-law. Ellie... would k*ll me.

Beckman: Thanks to your brother-i n-law's intelligence, we have to assume that the assassin is still in play.

There's an event at the Costa Gravan Consulate this evening.

I need your team there to guard the premier.

Casey: You want us to break in?

Sarah: Technically, that's invading sovereign soil.

Beckman: That is why the CIA has no official knowledge of this mission.

Chuck: Uh, just spit-balling here, General.

Why don't we just tell the premier that his life is in danger?

Beckman: Would you trust a country that spent the better part of three decades trying to k*ll you?

Casey: Hmm. Yeah.

Beckman: Your protection must go undetected.

Chuck; What? So, that-that's... that's it?

If we get busted, then the CIA disavows us, and then we rot for the rest of our lives in a Costa Gravan prison?

Sarah: In Costa Gravas, the punishment for sedition is death by f*ring squad.

Casey: Just my kind of mission.

Too bad I have to recuse myself.

Chuck: What? He's bailing? You're bailing on us?

I can't show my face on Costa Gravan soil, I'm a wanted man.

You know what they'd do if they knew I was in Los Angeles?

I spilled more blood in that Mickey Mouse revolution than any other... (laughing)

Chuck; Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?

Casey: They call me el Angel de la Muerte.

The Angel of Death.

Chuck: Please.

Bro, it was the '80s.

Come on.

You really think the premier gives a flying crap about you, John Casey?

Oh, no! It's the Angel of Death!

(laughs)

Hmm. (footfalls)

MAN (in Spanish): 11835.

Chuck: Casey, those aren't...

Oh, boy!

Oh.

Casey: At last, they've come for me.

(mechanical whirring)

Can take a few of these commies with me.

Ready?

(men speaking Spanish)

CHUCK: No.

No, not ready. You wait just one second.

They are not here for you, Casey. They're here for...

Huh?

(knocking on door)

Ellie: Devon?

Devon: Kind of in the middle of something, babe.

(insistent knocking)

Ellie: Baby, I've been on call for three straight days.

Devon; I know, hon. And I haven't worked out since we moved in.

Gotta keep my heart rate in the red.

(men speaking Spanish) CHUCK: Don't open the door.

Okay.

Okay. (dialing)

Pick up the phone.

Pick up the phone.

(phone rings)

(sighing) Ellie: You've got to be kidding me.

(phone beeps off)

(grunts)

(knocking on door)

Make it stop.

Make it stop.

Devon: Okay.

I got it, babe.

Goya: Dr. Woodcomb?

Devon: Um... yeah?

Goya: Dr. Devon Woodcomb?

Devon: That's me.

Goya: Do you have any idea what you've done, Dr. Devon Woodcomb?

You saved my life.

(laughing)

How can I ever hope to repay you?

(laughing)

Ellie: Okay, how about we just keep it down?

Devon, who are these people?

Goya: Alejandro Fulgencio Goya.

I am the master of parliament, chief m*llitary officer ofosta Gravas.

I am at your most humble service.

Ellie: What is going on?

Goya: You must be Señora Woodcomb, hmm?

Ellie: Actually, I'm a doctor, too.

Chuck: All right, stay put.

I'm going in.

Goya: You're a doctor? (chuckles)

I didn't think such beauty still exists.

Not from beyond the shores of Costa Gravas, huh?

Ellie: Well, it's nice to meet you.

How do you know Devon exactly?

Goya: You don't know?

Devon: I was going to tell you when you woke up, honey.

Goya: Ah, such modesty!

Your husband's a hero.

Saluden el hombre!

I owe him my life.

There is a gala this evening at my consulate.

You will be both be my guests of honor.

I will be humbled.

Head of security: He's waiting for you to say yes.

Devon: Oh. Yes.

Ellie: Oh. Yes.

Goya: Splendwill see you tonight, then.

Chuck: Hey, somebody say something about a gala?

(g*ns cocking)

Ellie: Hi. Sorry.

Easy there. Uh, sir, this is my brother Chuck.

Goya: He's your brother?

Quieto.

Ah.

The resemblance, I see.

Your family has such delicate features, huh?

Chuck:Thank you.

Goya: Much more suitable on a woman, though, no?

Chuck: Fair enough. (laughing)

If he's half the man you are, you bring him as well, huh?

A m*llitary escort will be here at 7:00.

Vámonos!

(squeals) Ellie: Yes! I can't believe this is happening.

Wow!

♪ ♪

Chuck: I can't believe this is happening.

Sarah: I spent a year on secret service detail.

I'm sure I can protect one smal l-time dictator.

Chuck:,The dictator's not who I'm worried about, though.

Devon; Is this romantic enough for you?

Ellie: Devon, it's perfect.

♪ ♪

Ellie; Look.

I know you're nervous, but I also know how the Intersect works when you get nervous.

And if you really want to protect them, you're going to have to focus.

(sighs)

Chuck; Casey, I got guards with submachine g*ns at both the north and west exits.

Casey: Yeah, copy that.

Main doors have hidden metal detectors.

Someone should go around back, check the service entrance.

Sarah: I'll go check on the premier. Rendezvous in five.

Casey: Chuck, keep a lookout for any potential assassins.

(pounding)

(clears throat)

Devon: So, what's the plan, bro?

CIA going to whack the premier?

Chuck: Nobody is going to be whacking anybody, okay?

That's why we're here.

Devon: Ah, I get it.

We're on the counteroffensive.

What's my mission?

Chuck: Your mission?

Your miss-- oh, hold on a second.

It's Langley.

What are they telling me? Oh!

They want you to stop screwing around, okay?

They want you to keep my sister out of danger.

They want you not to take your eyes off her all night.

Think you you can handle that, 007?

Devon:,Uh, Chuck...

Goya; I can't take my eyes off of you.

Premier Goya: You must stay next to me all night long and whatever comes after.

Devon: My wife is talking to the target of an assassination plot.

We gotta get her out of there.

I'm going in.

Chuck; Awesome, calm down.

Let the professional handle this.

Sarah: I hope I'm not interrupting.


Ellie: No. Sarah, this is, uh, the premier.

Goya: Call me Generalissimo.

Sarah: It's an honor to meet you, sir.

Goya; You know, I have to say my doctor tells me to avoid this, uh, stimulation.

But then again, my doctor is your husband.

(all laugh)

(soft grunting)

Sarah; Well, I'm, I'm so sorry, but I need to borrow her for a second, Generalissimo.

Girl talk.

Devon; She's good.

Chuck: The best.

(giggling)

Ellie; Thank God you rescued me.

That guy's cologne was practically a WMD.

(both laugh)

So, what did you want to talk to me about?

Ugh.

I'm sorry. Of course.

Of course, this must be really hard for you guys.

Sarah: Yeah. It is.

Ellie: I mean, one minute you're broken up, and then the next minute, you're on this incredibly sexy date.

Devon: So, what's the deal with you guys?

I mean, not to be crass or anything, but you and Sarah ever, like, you know?

Chuck: No.

Devon: Never?

Chuck; Nope.

Devon: Huh. I always thought you guys were, like, a real couple.

Ellie: Sarah, do you still have feelings for my brother?

Sarah: No. No. We're...

Chuck and I are just friends.

Ellie: Sarah, please. Look at yourself right now.

I mean, look at the dress.

Look me in the eye and tell me that you guys are just friends.

Chuck; Yeah, it's our job to fool people like you.

Devon: Wow.

That must be hard.

Not just the not-having-sex part.

That must be excruciating.

But having to fake like you're in love with someone for almost three years.

Especially someone like her.

Captain: How do you do it, Chuck?

How do you not fall for her?

Sarah; I don't think that you understand our situation.

Ellie: I understand completely.

I do. You know, you go through hot and cold patches.

When Devon and I got married, we kind of put the passion on hold, but... being here in a place like this, it just... brings it all back, you know?

It feels like it did in the beginning.

Casey (over earpiece): All right, ladies-- yeah, I'm talking to you, too, Bartowski.

Enough with the chitchat.

Let's get back to protecting our foreign head of state, shall we?

Goya; Friends, ex-patriots, countrymen...

CASEY (over earpiece): Great, a speech.

Makes him a walking target.

Goya: It's so good to be here with all of you.

I see many of my old comrades here tonight.

(spits)

Men who never dreamed one day we'd meet in the heart of this Capitalist beast, Los Angeles.

(laughs)

♪ ♪

And I see new faces here tonight as well.

Americanos, they never dreamed that one night they would be dining and dancing in the soil of Costa Gravas!

Hey! GUESTS (chanting, applauding): Goya! Goya!

Goya, Goya, Goya, Goya, Goya...

No, no. No, no.

To symbolize this historic meeting of two great nations, I would like to invite Mrs. Dr. Woodcomb... to this dance.

Ellie: Oh!

I-I couldn't possibly.

(laughs)

Goya: Listen, relax.

You know what they say?

When in Costa Gravas...

(chuckles)

(Ellie giggles)

Okay. (applause)

♪ ♪

Arriba!

(laughing)

(whooping)

Casey: I ran the guest list against our database Got a hit. Subject entered on a stolen passport.

I'm uploading you the photo right now.

Huh.

Chuck: Charming. Who is he?

Casey: Real name's Pablo Alarcon. Freedom fighter.

Guy spent 20 years in a Costa Gravan prison for trying to overthrow the Communist party.

♪ ♪

Sarah...

Sarah: Okay, I see him.

We need to take him out before the guards see us.

Remember, we're in Costa Gravan soil.

They'll arrest us if we make a sudden move toward the premier.

We need to get across that dance floor.

♪ ♪

Chuck?

Chuck: Just follow my lead, huh?

Chuck: There he is.

♪ ♪

Sarah: The assassin is behind you.

Take him out.

Chuck: Three, two... one!

(Sarah gasps)

(guests murmuring)

Sarah: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Chuck: What is it?

Sarah: False alarm.

He's just a political protester.

Chuck; Yeah, Casey, guess what.

Your assassin was carrying nothing but a rotten egg.

Head of security; Take him and his date.

Let them sober up in the alleyway.

Chuck: What? No. I'm sober, I'm sober!

Listen, it's a misunderstanding, okay?

Wait. No, no!

You don't understand!

Premier's life is in danger.

I'm just a bad dancer.

It was an accident.

No! No!

Sarah, that guy we just passed-- that other guard-- he is the real assassin.

Casey; What happened?

Sarah: Casey, do you copy?

I'm out of position.

The premier is completely unprotected.

We need you in here.

(groans)

This way.

♪ ♪

Casey: Comrade.

Ellie: Doesn't it feel like anything can happen tonight, honey?

Honey. Honey?

(groaning)

(g*ns cocking) CAPTAIN: Casey?

(guests murmuring, screaming)

(g*ns cocking)

Head of Security: El Angel de la Muerte.

Take him to the holding cell in the basement.

Ellie: Oh, my God!

Devon, what happened?

Goya: I can't believe it.

You saved my life.

Again!

Ellie:,You saved the general from an assassin?

I can't believe you just did that. (chuckles uneasily)

Devon: I can't believe it, either.

Chuck;,What do you mean, wait?

Look, General, I hate to interrupt your little cocktail party you got going on there, but we got a man down here.

Beckman: I appreciate your loyalty.

Chuck; Well, then, send in the Black Ops, storm the consulate.

Costa Gravan soil will be damned.

Casey was doing his job.

Sarah: Given Casey's history with Costa Gravas, I mean, just imagine what they're doing to him.

Beckman: We will do everything we can to get the colonel back... using diplomatic channels.

Chuck: Diplomatic channels? General!

Beckman: We can't risk upsetting relations with Costa Gravas.

Their country's future is in the balance.

Until the premier makes his announcement, I'm afraid Colonel Casey will have to handle himself.

Premier Goya: It's been a long time.

(grunts)

When are you going to learn you do not have the strength to k*ll me?

Casey: I'm here to protect you.

Goya: The Angel of Death?

You're here to protect me?

Protect me how?

Like in '83-- you put a b*llet in my spleen.

Or in '88-- you blew up my dog, Chuy.

Caseyd Sorry about the dog.

Obviously, the b*mb was meant for you.

(laughing)

Goya: I don't know-- maybe I'm just a humble dictator here.

How stupid do you think I am?

Casey: I don't think you're stupid.

I think your life is in danger, you idiot.

Goya: Enough!

(snaps fingers)

Imperialist lies.

Casey: Who you calling imperialist, you commie bastard?

(gagging)

Goya: I have to get some sleep.

You know, tomorrow, I will conduct your interrogation myself.

I'll do it personally.

(Casey grunting)

Generalissimo.

(muffled grunting)

Your cigar. Yeah.

(muffled protests)

(spits)

(grunts)

(grunting)

This is genuine Costa Gravan tobacco.

Casey; Uh-uh.

Goya: Rolled on the thighs of virgins. No?

Casey: Uh-uh.

Goya: Perhaps you deserve one final smoke.

No.

(chuckling)

(loud thud)

Ellie: Thank you.

Devon: For what?

Ellie: For tonight.

For making me forget about all of this.

Do you remember our first day of medical school?

(both chuckling)

You know, this place has some very nice closets.

Devon: Ah.

(cell phone ringing)

Ellie: Uh-uh.

No phones tonight-- you said.

Devon: I will turn it off.

It's the consulate.

The premier wants to see me.

Some kind of emergency.

Hold on to that feeling.

I will be right back.

Okay.

(door opens, then closes)

Chuck.

I think I can help get Casey back.

Chuck: Unless you can get into the consulate without starting some international incident, I'm not interested.

Devon: That's exactly what I can do.

I just got a call.

The premier collapsed again.

His last request was for me to be his doctor.

Chuck: Devon, if you think this is your chance to be a big spy...

Devon: It's my chance to set things right.

I'll get you inside, then I promise I will leave the spy stuff to the pros.

I knew you guys had a secret base.

This is badass.

Chuck: Don't touch anything.

Devon: Cool.

What are you doing?

Well, since we're not exactly sure where Casey's being held, I'm pulling up the schematics for the consulate.

Devon; Where's Sarah?

Chuck; We'll call her from the road.

If she knew we were here right now...

Sarah: What the hell do you think you're doing?

Chuck: Well, I don't know.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Sarah: Bringing a civilian in here? Do you have any idea how far off the reservation you've gone?

Chuck: Oh, yeah, and what do you call invading foreign soil against orders?

Sarah: I have no choice.

Chuck: Well, we're coming with u.

Sarah: No. Trust me.

You don't want any part of this, and neither do you. What happened?

I thought you didn't want your family getting messed up with the CIA.

Chuck: Okay, look, before you say anything else, and before you go running off and getting yourself sh*t, Devon thinks he n get us into the consulate.

The premier has invited him to be his own persal physician.

Devon: Okay, here's the plan...

Sarah: Stop right there.

I am way ahead of you.

Devon: I'm Dr. Woodcomb.

We're here to see the premier.

Chuck: You can do this, Devon.

Sarah: Just relax.

Jack Artman: Hello, John Casey.

NSA assassin.

(spits)

Casey: Who are you?

Jack: The man who's going to k*ll you.

Casey; Obviously.

Who do you work for?

Professional courtesy.

One assassin to another.

Jack: I work for an organization known as the Ring.

(rhythmic beeping)

Devon: You want me to work in here?

Is there a problem?

Devon; Yeah, he needs to move to a hospital.

Why? So you North Americans can try and k*ll him yet again?

Tsk-tsk-tsk. The premier's orders were clear.

Devon: Acute arrhythmia.

This guy is hating life.

Head of security: Don't forget, Dr. Woodcomb-- if anything happens to the premier...

Devon: Yeah, I heard you the first time.

All right, team, let's get to work.

Casey: So, what does this s o-called Ring have against the premier?

Jack: Nothing personal.

I suppose I could explain our overarching goals... but this might tax the brain of an aging NSA agent.

Let's just say the Ring wishes to preserve Costa Gravas' status quo.

The premier must die.

So must you.

Captain: This guy’s in big trouble .

I need ten units of insulin.

(whispering): Red bottle, yellow label.

Assassin: On a personal note, I must say, I've studied your work.

Some of your kills in the '80s weren't bad.

(grunts) Unfortunately, in our game, you're only as good as your last...

(smacks) k*ll.

(whispering) Devon: So, you come up with a plan yet?

Chuck: Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the plan is, Sarah and I are going to sneak out of here and save Casey while you stay here and save the premier.

We just got to take care of those two guards there.

Devon: Those two soldiers with the machine g*ns?

You and what army?

Chuck: Uh, that would be Sarah and, uh, her fists.

Casey; Bring it on, tough guy.

A thousand Costa Gravan pesos says I walk out of here.

Casey: Well...

Lucky for me, I'm a marine.

(grunting)

Jack: Shh...

Relax.

Sarah: Let's go.

Devon: That is some woman, bro.

Chuck: You have no idea.

Casey: You owe me 15 American cents.

(grunts)

(g*nsh*t)

Angel de la Muerte.

Casey: Let's get out of this stinking banana republic.

Chuck: First, we got to get Awesome.

Casey: You brought your brother-in-law?

: What the hell were you thinking?

Sarah: Devon, we got to get out of here.

Devon: No, you've got to get out of here.

Those guards are looking for you.

Besides, he'll die without me.

Chuck: Yeah, well, we're all going to die if they find us in here. Come on.

Devon, look, we've done what we needed to do. Now, it's time to go.

Devon: Sorry, Chuck. My mission's not over.

Casey: You know that man you're trying to save turned his country into a pariah state.

Do you have any idea how many people he k*lled?

You're one to talk.

Angel de la Muerte.

Chuck: Look, look, he's not here as the Angel of Death right now, he's here to protect your boss; we all are.

Casey: The real k*ller's down in my cell.

Head of security: We found no one.

Uh...

Chuck; Can't you see he's bleeding to death? Please!

We will sort out who's trying to k*ll who later; right now, we need to get this man to a doctor.

Devon: He has a doctor.

Little busy right now.

Not you, him.

Chuck; Who "him"? Me, "him"?

If you wish to prove you're not an assassin, save him.

Chuck: Okay.

Okay, no, uh, no problem.

No problem.

We've done this before.

We've done this many times.

Uh, normally, I start with anesthesia.

Casey: No!

Chuck: Huh?

Okay.

Okay, no anesthesia.

No anesthesia. That's fine, that's fine.

He's a big, tough man. He can deal with the pain.

Captain: The b*llet might've grazed his femoral artery. Whatever you do...

(shushing)

Let the doctor work.

Chuck: Nurse?

Why don't you go ahead and cut those pants open, and we'll see what we're working with.

Oh, oh...

Oh, it's suddenly very hot in here.

It's very, very hot in here.

Can somebody cr*ck a window?

Head of security; No!

Just as I thought.

Captain: Chuck, you've got the hands of a surgeon, bro.

Don't think about the g*ns.

He's not your friend. He's your patient.

Sarah: Chuck, you can do this.

Just relax.

Chuck: Nurse, suction.

Scalpel.

Tweezers.

Gauze.

Iodine.

Forceps.

Just like Operation...

The game.

(groaning)

(groaning continues)

(groaning subsides)

(machine beeping) Head of security: What's wrong?

Devon: I told you. There's nothing I could do for him here.

Nothing short of a blood transfusion.

I don't even know what blood type he is.

(mumbles) Casey: AB negative.

What?

(grumbles ) Casey: AB negative.

Aah! (spits)

His blood type's AB negative.

What? You learn a lot about a guy when you're trying to k*ll him.

What else you want to know?

His favorite movie's Terms of Endearment.

He always showers after lovemaking...

Devon: Okay, none of that's going to save him now.

We need someone with type AB negative blood, now. Someone big.

Does anyone have type AB negative blood?

ÿAlguien aqui tiene sangre tipo AB negativo?

Quick! Find someone! Anyone!

Casey: Hey, what are you doing?

Put those back!

Give me that!

Chuck; I'm sorry, buddy.

Casey: You take one drop of blood from me, I swear to God, I'll rip off your...

(muffled): No! No! No!

(exclaiming, laughing)

Hey, Chucky.

Oh, I feel like death.

What happened?

Sarah; You're just in time, big boy.

Casey: Time for what?

Beckman: Congratulations, the premier made a full recovery.

Although I do not endorse your methods, you enabled him to make his announcement as planned.

Costa Gravas will have its first democratic election.

And it wouldn't have been possible without your extraordinary sacrifice.

Casey: I got sh*t, that's nothing extraordinary.

Sarah: You don't remember?

Casey: Huh? Remember what?

You stole my blood.

You stole my blood, and you put in a stinking commie despot.

Chuck: Former stinking commie despot. Thank you.

Beckman: The premier wanted to thank you personally, Colonel Casey.

But this will have to do.

Casey: Huh?

Premier Goya: I wish to thank you on behalf of Costa Gravas and myself.

I will never forget that the blood of an American patriot flows through my veins.

John Casey, you truly are the Angel of Life.

Casey: These are prerevolutionary Costa Gravas double coronas.

Oh...

Devon; Hey.

Chuck; Hey.

Devon: How'd it go with headquarters?

Chuck: Yeah, uh, we didn't get a new mission, if that's what you're wondering.

Devon; Oh, no way.

I think I scratched my espionage itch.

Don't get me wrong.

Black tie dinners and embassy extractions are k*ller, but... just not worth it.

Chuck: What's not?

Devon; If having a double life means having to give up half of your real life, that's just not how I want to live, bro.

♪ ♪

I got to run.

I've got to finish a few things at the hospital, and then home to my wife.

You two take care of each other.

Sarah: He would've made an awesome spy.

Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, I guess it runs in the family.

(chuckles)

Uh, listen, I've been, um...

I've been meaning to ask.

What do you think our cover should be, you know, moving forward?

Sarah; Well, I think we should keep it simple.

So, how about friends?

Chuck: Friends, huh?

Yeah, that could work.

I suppose I could fake being friends with someone like you.

Sarah: And I don't find you completely repulsive, so...

Chuck: Thanks.

Sarah: So, yeah. Friends?

Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, friends.

Sarah: So, what exactly do friends do?

Chuck: What do friends do? Uh, what is it? Friday night?

Friday night, Morgan and I would normally gorge ourselves on some processed food, play some video games.

Sarah: Maybe we're not quite there yet.

Chuck: Okay, we can work on some other options.

Yeah.

Ellie: Hi.

CAPTAIN (on phone): Hey, babe.

Ellie: Where have you been?

Devon: Kind of a crazy night.

I got tied up at work.

Ellie: Well, why don't you hurry home.

I have a surprise for you.

Devon: One more patient and I am on my way.

I believe I owe you a dance.

Ellie: I love you.

Devon: I love you, too.

So, what seems to be the problem?

Ouch, that looks like it hurts.

Jack: You have no idea.

(knocking at door)

Chuck: Hey.

Changed your mind about tonight?

What?

What is it?

(whispering)

Oh, my God...

Ellie: Hey, guys.

Have you guys seen my husband?