01x15 - April Just Wants to Have Fun

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Chasing Life"

I think that we should let go of the idea that this will ever be normal.

It's kind of what I like about it.

Aaron: Are you two dating?

We used to.

But it's over now?

Totally?

Yes.

Sarah: Press charges?

This is exactly what we were concerned about when we decided the girls should stop seeing each other.

You must be excited. I mean, new job, new city.

We'll see. So many great things that have happened to me have come as a complete surprise.

Beth: Ah, your room's that way, kitchen's there.

Your girlfriend is one lucky woman.

I don't have a girlfriend.

Then I guess I'm the lucky one.

Beth: Stop what you're doing and step away from one another right now.

This cannot happen. No.

No, coming through.

(Natalie laughs)

Excuse me, thank you.

Whoa, can't two strangers make out publicly in private?

(Sighs)

Beth, what are you doing?

What? You two know each other?

Yeah, let me introduce you guys. Uh...

Natalie, this is Dominic, April's ex. Dominic, this is Natalie, April's half-sister and my new roommate.

Oh.

(Laughing) I'm like dying.

This is hilarious.

Graham: Oh.

So that... Whoa. But why... wo...

Yikes.

I shouldn't even be surprised.

I mean, if you make out with every girl on the planet, you'll eventually stumble across some relatives.

Right?

I thought you looked familiar.

I saw your picture once.

You know what? We are going to go and get a table.

But, you two, and I mean it, no!

Off.

Bad.

All right.

(Both laugh)

Oh, no.

(Laughs)

Well, I, uh, guess it's a good thing Beth got here when she did.

You know, things could have gotten... awkward.

(Laughs)

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't do awkward.

Um...

Thanks...

For, uh, helping me out.

It's fine.

Yeah, um...

(Chuckles)

(Giggles)

Hey.

Oh, uh, hi.

Beth's ex-roommate took the washer and dryer when she moved out.

Brenna said it'd be okay if I stopped by whenever to do mine.

Yeah.

Help yourself. I was just on my way to work.

Ah, you totally got some last night, didn't you?

Excuse me?

Knowing when people got action is, like, my sixth sense.

I guess that means coma dude's you-know-what still works.

Whoo! That would've been a downer.

Literally.

Uh, Leo and I didn't do it.

His caretaker Pete decided he'd rather savor Nurse Jackie than binge watch, so...

We did have some fun.

Hmm, well, we missed you at the Charles.

We?

Beth was there.

And, oh my God, okay.

So you want to hear the craziest, most random thing ever?

It's like so weird. You're gonna laugh.

I kind of made out with your ex-boyfriend.

I'm s... Dominic?

You're not laughing.

Uh, oh, look.

I had no idea who he was.

I was only trying to get that annoying bartender, Tiege, off my back. And I just grabbed the cutest guy that I could find.

Beth explained everything.

Okay.

It was totally random.

It would never happen again.

You've got like nothing to worry about.

And come on, half-sisters before misters.

(Giggles)

(Theme music playing)

♪ You bet your soul, honey ♪
♪ you bet your soul ♪
♪ just right ♪
♪ you could stay all night and never wanna go home ♪
♪ 'cause we can't stop ♪

Morning.

Morning.

Great job with the cancer benefit article.

I really think Aaron's gonna like it.

Oh, thanks. I hope so.

And it's a good thing you were able to finish in time to go make out with my half-sister.

(Gulps, coughs)

Sorry.

Couldn't resist.

How'd you find out?

Natalie told me.

She's very open.

Yeah, well, it was an honest mistake.

I had no idea who she was.

I swear.

You don't have to explain yourself, even though you did see a picture of her that day we went to my dad's storage unit.

But...

Well, you know, a lot's happened since then.

Yeah. (Laughs)

You're allowed to make out with whoever you want.

(Elevator dings)

Yeah, I know.

(Door opens)

(People chatter)

The new school year is all about new beginnings.

It's an opportunity to grow...

Grow as an individual.

Mom, you give me the same speech every September.

Well, it's still a good speech.

And it's especially appropriate for you this year.

How are you feeling about all that?

You still nervous for the first day?

Ah, seeing Greer is gonna be a little awkward, but luckily I don't have to worry about being in any of her A.P. classes.

My lack of ambition has finally paid off.

Right?

Well, I'm glad you're being mature about everything, but, you know, Brenna, maybe it's time you took school a little more seriously now that you're a junior.

Change is good.

Well, in that case, why don't I just get my G.E.D. and move to San Francisco with uncle George?

You gonna miss him?

You guys were hanging out a lot.

It was almost like he was your...

My husband?! Stop it, Brenna.

I was gonna say brother.

Yeah, I'm gonna miss him, but it's for the best.

New beginnings and everything.

Hey, you know what? Let's get you some new shoes.

Those are seriously falling apart.

Um, that's the whole point.

April: I just can't believe you didn't tell me right away.

I have to hear it from Natalie.

Dude, I was obviously gonna tell you.

I was just, you know...

I was trying to figure out how best to phrase it.

Especially since it's never happening again.

I totally shamed both of them.

We'll see. You can never tell with those two.

They're both such...

(Both sigh)

Sluts?

Kinda.

(Both chuckle)

What were you doing with Natalie anyway?

I mean, we're roommates now.

We're gonna end up in the same places sometimes, but it doesn't mean we're gonna be like friends or, like, hang out or anything.

We're just... God, we're way too different.

You know, I mean... mm... like, have you seen her Instagram?

Mm-mm.

It's like all selfies.

I've decided that she looks best in the valencia filter.

(Both laugh)

I'm sorry we bailed on the club tonight.

Oh.

I know you wanted to go dancing, and...

Oh, my God. Don't worry about it.

You're sick... you shouldn't have to wait in long lines in the freezing cold just to get into some club, where I'm sure we would have caught way worse diseases.

Which is ironic, because the club is called Pure.

All right, who do we think is getting eliminated tonight?

Crystal with a "Y" or Cristal with an "I"?

My money's on Kandy with a "K."

(Laughs)

Who's that?

(Both laughing)

(Pop music playing)

(Door opens)

(Door closes)

I thought you were going to Pure.

Oh, the line was long and it was cold, so we just went back to April's and watched TV.

Are those my earrings?

Quitters.

Well, me and your earrings are going there now.

(Knocks on door)

(Knocking continues)

(Sighs) Doug.

Who?

(Exhales)

Hi, Doug. What is it this time?

Yes, um, hi.

So, your music is extremely loud.

It's very hard to work on my dissertation.

Um, Balzac and the hums of Justin Bieber don't exactly mix.

Like I'd ever listen to Bieber!

Is this dude serious?

Oh, and if you don't mind, could you two not walk around in your high heels?

The thumps scare my cats.

Sure, Doug.

Cool.

Good night.

Yeah, good night.

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

All right.

He's a Balzac.

Yeah.

I'm going dancing. You wanna come?

Pretty sure these will get us in quickly.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, come on. What are you gonna do that's better?

Sit on the couch and fall asleep to "House Hunters"?

Okay, I only watch "House Hunters International."

All right?

Who cares about domestic real estate?

No offense, but I think my 70-year-old abuela goes out more than you.

Hey, I used to go out constantly.

All right, you should have seen me.

I stayed out all night, I danced on bars, I was wild, crazy.

So, what happened?

(Quietly sighs)

My best friend got cancer.

Well...

She's not here right now, so...

You're wasting your life.

Because, really, you don't have much more time to go to clubs like this before it gets sad.

Aren't you like almost 30?

I'm 23.

(Exhales sharply)

All right, fine. Fine, let's go dancing.

Yes! (Stomping feet)

(Banging)

Doug: Keep it down!

(Banging)

(Laughing) No, don't.

(Both laughing)

(Both laughing)

I think grandma's doing a duck face in this one.

Did she learn that from me?

(Laughing) That's funny.

What are you guys looking at?

Grandma and her friends...

(Phone chimes)

Have been in New York for like two hours, and they've posted 30 photos.

Their high school reunion hasn't even started yet.

Okay, I've gotta get to work.

Mom, don't forget we have lunch with Leo today.

Ooh.

I just really want you guys to get to know each other.

Not like it was with Dominic.

Okay, no hospital run-ins when you're on the verge of breaking up, got it.

(Chuckles)

I can't wait.

Hey, good luck today.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

Pfft. Sometimes I think grandma's cooler than me.

She is.

Oh, my God.

I have been memed.

It's going around the whole school.

April: Memed? That's so dumb.

Whatever, it's not like anything online matters anyway.

Wait, Beth went out with Natalie?

What?

So how was the rest of your night?

Oh, it was good. It was good.

Did you do anything after you left my place?

Uh, just went out for a drink.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, nothing too exciting.

Well, how about we do happy hour at the Charles tomorrow, to make up for me bailing last night?

Mm, that sounds great.

Perfect. I'll see you there.

Okay, see ya.

(Natalie and man laughing)

Natalie: Morning.

Oh, how's the bruise?

That fall off the bar last night was pretty epic.

(Both laughing)

(Bell ringing)

Ford: Mandatory health class our junior year?

I can't imagine a group of people I'm less excited to talk about my reproductive system with.

(Laughs)

(Laughs)

You think you're so funny.

I am so funny.

Why did you do it?

Do what?

Start that stupid meme.

Reminder: You almost got me expelled. Haven't you done enough?

(Chuckles) I only wish I'd made that Tumblr.

But, like, I hate to break it to you, I actually have a life and, like, way better things to do than Regina George you, so...

Go point your friendless finger at someone else.

Ford, so serious question...

Did you spend your summer in a coffin?

You look like you haven't seen the sun in months.

I didn't spend my summer getting dumped by my lacrosse captain boyfriend.

Your black heart must be broken.

You're just jealous I had a boyfriend.

Doubt anyone would touch you in your ghost-like state.

Boo.

Greer: Come on, Shelby.

At least we all know how stalker Carver spent her summer.

Did you do this?

Brenna, I had no idea.

I am...

Teacher: Sit down, please.

Sit down. Please.

Welcome, everyone.

This semester we will be discussing everything about our...

Bodies... health, nutrition, sex Ed...

(Hollering)

Calm down, people.

Because of the sensitive nature of these topics, I will have a question box up here.

If anyone would like to ask anything, anonymously, just put it in my box.

Can't wait to put something in your box, Mr. Baldwin.

(Laughter, hollering)

Mom. Hey.

Sorry, Leo's just running a few minutes late.

Okay, no problem.

I hope you guys like this place.

Last time I was here I had this most amazing, wonderful Hungarian stew.

It was called a... oh, what was it called?

Goulash! Oh, goulash!

In fact, I have the most...

Mom, Shh.

I'm sorry. Okay, yes.

I'm frazzled.

I just saw my two most difficult patients in a row.

Neither one of them was listening to me at all.

Oh, that's annoying.

This... I mean, it has to happen all the time, though, right?

It can't be the first time people haven't taken your advice.

No, it's not. It's just... I don't know.

I guess I'm just feeling a little more sensitive right now.

Why?

Is it because George left?

Um, yeah. That, I guess.

And other things. Brenna's starting school and all of your stuff. And enough about me.

Tell me about Leo.

Anything I should know before he gets here?

Well, he's really, really good with parents.

(Nervous laughs)

Oh, um...

So sorry. It's pleasure to finally meet you.

Likewise.

Shall we?

Yeah.

He's cute.

I know.

It took me a while to perfect, but eventually I got it right.

(Clears throat) Let's see if I can do it here. (Clears throat)

(In French accent) Macaron.

Ooh, c'est bon.

C'est bon.

You know, you got to learn how to say it right when you work at a French bakery.

Leo lived in Paris for a year.

But then I had to move back to Boston when I got sick.

Well, it's great that you've recovered.

That must be an amazing feeling.

What have you been up to?

Honestly, not much.

(Chuckles) It's been all about cancer for the last six years.

I don't really have much to show for myself.

I mean, I know I should get a job, but, I mean, what do you put on your resume?

"Special skills: Able to be super still during MRIs"

or "taking more medication than a 90-year-old diabetic." (Scoffs)

Must have been hard being sick during such formative years.

Okay, Mom, you're off the clock.

No, I'm just empathizing.

Leo, you got sick at a time when most young people are deciding what they want to do with their lives.

While other people had numerous roads they could travel down, you only had one open to you.

But now all roads are yours to choose from.

And that's scary because you've never had to worry about what might be waiting at the other end of them.

Nah.

I think I just got a lot of time on my hands right now.

I'll figure it all out soon.

Yeah, Mom, he'll figure it out.

(Silent)

Leo: One wrong snip in the surgery,

I would have been paralyzed.

Scary, I know.

(Breathes deeply)

No wonder my poor little brain swelled mid-operation... landed me in a coma for months.

Anyway, clearly I woke to tell the tale.

So now I'm just catching up on everything I missed.

So, please, no "Game of Thrones" spoilers, people, I'm serious.

(Chuckling)

Hi, guys, um, my name is Sophie.

It's my first time here.

I just moved here from Chicago after getting some good news, actually.

Eight years of treatment and a double mastectomy later, I am now cancer free.

Woman: Oh, great.

(All clapping)

Woman: Congrats.

(Sophie sighs)

You guys wouldn't be applauding if you saw me before the surgery.

I used to have this amazing rack.

Ugh!

(Chuckling)

(Laughing inhale)

Anyway, um, I came here for support, but mostly I came here to make some friends.

(Sharp exhale) Oh my God, wow.

I sound like such a loser.

Um, I swear, I used to have amazing friends.

(Voice quivers) I'm sorry.

It's okay. We've all cried in here.

I used to have these two best friends in high school and we used to do everything together...

(Sighs) But then I got diagnosed.

So right when they were having their first boyfriends and going to prom, I was dealing with chemo and losing my hair.

I mean, they would come and visit me and everything, but... (Sharp inhale)

I could tell that they felt guilty that they were doing all these great things that I couldn't.

And so they started keeping things from me.

And, eventually, we just... we just grew apart.

I mean, I... you know, I could totally get it.

You know, they don't want to make us feel bad, but they want to, like, get on with their lives too, you know?

I just... I think it was the whole timing of when I got sick.

It was supposed to be this section of my life that was supposed to be so exciting.

I mean, I can... I can never go back to high school.

I can never get that time back.

Shelby: Hey, Brenna.

(Giggling)

(Laughter)

I really had no idea Shelby was behind it.

I don't know why I would expect you to stand up for me when you can't even stand up for yourself.

Brenna, I'm sorry.

Thing's have been really hard lately.

Whatever. Ford was right.

You're shallow and you're selfish!

And I am so glad that we're not together anymore.

You know, for a cancer survivor, Sophie was kind of a bummer, huh?

Isn't cancer in general a bummer?

Yeah.

And just listening to her talk about how she missed out on such a big phase of her life made me wonder if maybe I'm missing out on my twenties right now.

Yeah, I know I definitely missed out on a lot of things.

But, look, right now, you're only halfway through your twenties and you're in remission.

Get out there and live it up.

(Laughs)

Well, you're in remission. What are you gonna do?

And you're not allowed to move back to Paris.

Funny you should bring that up.

I was just thinking a lot about how much I liked working at that bakery.

So I got a job at that cafe your mom took us to.

Seriously? That is awesome.

Well, I don't know about awesome, but it gets me out of the house away from Pete.

Oh, no, is the honeymoon phase over?

He never wants to cuddle anymore.

(Chuckles)

Can you believe it?

And I always have to be the big spoon.

(Laughs)

Nurse: Time for your meds.

(Hospital chatter)

Thank you. (Clears throat)

Cheers.

Cheers.

April, Dr. Hamburg's ready to take your blood.

Okay.

Meet back after my MRI?

Yeah.

(Keys jingle)

(Door opens)

Why aren't you at school?

(Voice quivers) Just let me explain.

You're not off to a good start! It's day two and you're already...

I'm sorry, I know!

I shouldn't be ditching school, but the people there are horrible!

They created this meme about me!

What is that?! I... I don't know what...

(Sighs) What are you talking about?!

It doesn't matter!

The point is, everyone hates me.

(Exhales)

You can't just cut school whenever you have a bad day!

Mom...

I have no friends.

(Sighs)

How am I gonna make it through the next two years as a loser loner?

Homeschool me, please. (Sharp exhale)

I know how hard it is to be lonely.

It's a terrible feeling.

One of my least favorites.

But you have just got to power through it.

It always feels like it's gonna last forever, but it never does.

(Sighs)

I promise you're gonna find new friends.

I'll let you off with a warning if you'll share this cake with me.

Oh, my gosh, what did you get?

Carrot.

(Chews) Oh, my God!

(People chatter)

(Beth laughs)

(Both laughing)

(Laughing) I can't.

Do you want a sh*t? Let's get sh*ts.

sh*ts? What's gotten into you?

Oh, nothing, I'm just trying to have fun.

In fact, I am having so much fun that I think we need to do happy hour more often.

Okay, deal.

(Both laugh)

Hey!

These are on the house.

It's good to know the bartender.

I didn't see you here.

I was in the break room getting my stuff to leave, which means I'm done for the night.

I got you a vodka cran, Beth, to make up for the one that douchebag knocked over the other night.

Oh, you guys went out the other night?

Yeah.

To Pure.

And it ended up being anything but.

Natalie wanted to go see if it was cool.

You know, I just didn't say anything 'cause it wasn't a big deal.

Oh, no, it's fine.

Don't worry about it.

So what are you guys up to tonight?

This hot D.J. is spinning at a club in Allston later.

That sounds fun.

Really?

Really, you're not too tired?

No, I feel great, totally awake.

Actually, you know what I've been in the mood for lately?

A house party.

You used to throw the best parties.

Beth is a great hostess.

Ooh.

I'd be down.

(Squeaks)

What if we make it a housewarming?

Best idea ever!

Oh my gosh, we should make it themed.

Oh, themed! I'm listening.

Um, okay, what about around-the-world potluck?

Yeah, like everybody's assigned a country and then has to bring a wine and a dish from that place.

Natalie: Um...

All wine tastes the same to me.

And I think we're gonna need something stronger.

Why don't we make this more of a rager?

Beer pong, flip cup.

Karaoke. Yes!

Yes!

Okay, this is gonna be amazing.

We'll plan it all before we go to the club tonight.

The D.J. set starts at 11:30.

He starts at 11:30?

Natalie: Yeah, is that too late?

Let's do it.

Okay, whoo!

Oh.

Cheers.

(Laughs) Cheers.

(Phones ring)

(People chattering)

Morning.

Whoa.

Someone took a one-way train to dark circles city!

Uh, thanks, Danny.

It's actually a side-effect of the cancer.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I didn't...

Not really.

I didn't go to bed till 2:00 A.M. last night.

2:00 A.M.!

Like infomercials were on TV, that's how late it was.

I go to bed at 2:00 A.M. every night.

When else am I gonna work on my novel?

It's "Harry Potter" meets "Infinite Jest."

(Yawns)

I'm almost finished with my first draft.

I'll let you read it when it's done.

Great.

If you go to bed at 2:00 A.M. every night, how are you always totally alert at work?

That's the best part about being young.

You're way resilient.

Not me.

You better get it together for tonight.

Thanks for inviting me to the housewarming party, by the way.

Thinking the girls there will definitely be my type.

Breathing? Yeah.

Okay. (Grunts)

I'm gonna rally for tonight big time...

(Sharp inhale) For all of the work I have to do.

So much work.

Oh, this means you're gonna be too busy to make Beth and Natalie's party.

Graham forwarded me the invite.

Guess mine got lost in cyberspace.

(April laughs) I'm sorry.

I just figured you wouldn't want to come.

Oh, you figured wrong.

Okay, well, just to let you know, Leo's gonna be there, so...

That's cool with me.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, cool.

Cool.

Isn't it great that everything's so cool?

I'm about to get a cold.

See you later.

(Sighs)

(Phone buzzes)

(Sighs)

(Music plays)

Ugh.

(Sighs)

♪ Hey, hey, baby, don't you know? ♪
♪ My mind's split in stereo ♪
♪ can you feel that b*at? Take away the heat ♪
♪ of another back-breaking work day ♪
♪ my blood is pumping so fast ♪
♪ don't know how long it can last ♪
♪ hey, hey ♪
♪ hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ there are days when I love everybody I see ♪
♪ when I sing to the world and it's smiling at me ♪
♪ a little glimmer of fame ♪
♪ man, it's all in the game ♪
♪ 'cause in the end, it's the same ♪
♪ I'm still a weekend warrior... ♪

Whoa.

♪ Weekend warrior. ♪

I will see you guys later.

Sarah: April, honey.

You should stay home tonight.

You were so tired this morning.

Maybe it'd be best if you just...

I am sorry, Mom, but this is gonna be another late one.

This is just what healthy 20-somethings do.

Hm, bye. (Footsteps click)

No one listens to me.

What'd you say?

(Doorbell rings)

I'll get it.

(Sighs)

(Door opens)

Sarah: Hey, Ford.

How are you?

Is Brenna home?

Yeah, she's right in here.

Ah, I'll let you two be.

Look, I'm only here because we seem to have a common enemy at the moment...

Shelby... and I'm thinking that the two of us should combine our powers and give that heinous witch what she deserves.

(Sighs) Don't worry.

This is... this is just payback.

We're gonna go back to hating each other once it's done.

(Loud thumping music)

(People chatter noisily)

(Laughter)

Beth: April!

Ah!

Both: What's up?!

Welcome. Oh, you look good.

(Sighs) I need a drink, STAT.

Ah, I guess we really do share DNA.

Graham: Hey, got you roomies a whipping siphon so you can make all your own foams.

You know? For all your molecular gastronomy needs.

Oh.

I don't know what any of that means, but I like whipping.

(Natalie laughs) Let's take a pic with it, Beth.

Oh, really? Okay.

Smile.

Okay, ready?

Okay.

Smile.

(Camera clicks)

Yikes.

Oh, that's horrible.

Okay, do another one.

Hold on.

Okay.

(Camera clicks)

Natalie: Cute!

(Laughs) Oh, you're not even in it!

What filter should I use?

Valencia for sure.

Um, excuse me!

Excuse me! I'm sorry, excuse me.

It's very hard to concentrate on Flaubert's magical prose when all these people are causing such a ruckus.

Dude, give us a frickin' break.

Ever heard of working at a coffee shop?

One cannot deconstruct George Sand when one is surrounded by commercialism.

Not my problem.

Dude, it's like 8:00 pm. There's no way we're ending this party.

So you can either stay and hang out with us or go back downstairs and play with your cats.

All: Oh!

Way to regulate, Natalie.

Hey, let's get this party started.

(All cheering)

Dominic.

Hey.

Hey.

Come here. I'll show you around.

(Phone rings)

Ah.

(Ringing)

When are you getting here?

Well, I'm still quote, unquote, learning the ropes.

(Sniffs) So it might be a while.

How's the party?

Oh, uh...

Drinking cheap vodka and generic soda water.

Oh, how 24 of you.

Leo!

Oh, hey, I got to go.

Um, hopefully, I'll see you later.

Evening.

(Scoffs)

(Mouths)

Ask him if there's anything else he might want.

Uh, is there anything else you might want?

Nope.

All right.

Manager: Try pressing the return button.

It's the one with "return" on it.

(Customer coughs)

Manager: Sorry, sir, he's new.

Don't apologize for me.

(Computer beeps)

Would you like me to ring this one up?

No, I got it.

Woman 1: Come on!

(Crowd mutters)

Woman 2: What's taking so long?

Leo, I'll take this.

Man 1: What's the hold up?

Woman 3: I got to go to work!

Let's go!

Man 2: Can you hurry up, please?

Come on. Some time today.

How many idiots does it take to work a cash register?

Hey, is this your sandwich?

Leo! Okay. I apologize, sir.

I will make you a new one.

Would you like a black and white cookie?

I'm sorry. I got to go.

(Girls Aloud's "I Think We're Alone Now" plays)

(Off tune) ♪ Children behave ♪
♪ That's what we say when we're together ♪

♪ And watch how you play ♪

♪ and they don't understand ♪
♪ And so we're running just as fast as we can... ♪

I love drunk April!

♪ Holding onto one another's hand! ♪
♪ Trying to get away into the night ♪
♪ And then you put your arms around me ♪
♪ And we tumble to the ground, and then we sing ♪

♪ I think we're alone now... ♪

(Laughs)

This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.

I know.

♪ Anyone around ♪
♪ I think we're alone now ♪

(Giggles)

♪ The b*ating of our heart is the only sound. ♪

Whoo!

I'm out.

Beth: Whoo!

Oh.

Okay.

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm totally staying around. I'll be here all night.

Whoo! (Laughs)

Wow, April!

Way to... make an effort.

Ow!

Way to make an effort. Hey, everyone!

(Both laughs)

Natalie: Thanks for coming.

Now that the house has officially been warmed, let's make it hot!

Beth!

Get your ass up here.

Roomie duet time!

(Crowd cheers)

Natalie: Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

(Cheering)

Come on, come on, come on!

All right, all right, all right, let's get this sorted.

Natalie: Do you want to be the salt to my pepper?

Beth: Um, obviously.

Whoo, oh, yeah.

Ford: Okay.

What if we break into Hunter's locker, steal his phone, and text Shelby and be like, "hey, I miss you. Let's get back together."

I don't know. Is that too mean?

No! Mean is like putting rat poison in her smoothie.

This hag digitally shamed you.

Like, once stuff's on the Internet, it's out there forever.

I hope you can still have a career when you're older.

Whoa, fine.

Okay.

What if we put up a casual rendezvous post online and we included Shelby's phone number so she gets creepy calls from pervs.

I love it.

(Laughs)

Although, it might lead to her getting k*lled by one of those pervs. And then, like, we'd be implicated and we'd have to go all, like,

"Orange is the New Black."

(Both laughing)

Oh my God, I cannot have a whole semester of health class with that beast.

I know, as if just hearing about sex from Mr. Baldwin...

(Laughs) Oh, my God.

Wasn't bad enough.

Like, what does he know about that stuff?

Dude's probably a virgin.

Like, all sex is safe if you're by yourself.

I know.

(Laughs)

Yeah.

(Both laugh)

(Sharp exhale)

I don't, like, want to sound like a Taylor Swift song or something, but I really miss this, like, us hanging out or whatever.

Yeah, me too.

(Both chuckle)

Oh, my God, I have an idea.

♪ We be to rap what key be to lock ♪
♪ But I'm cool like that ♪
♪ I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that... ♪

Hey, let's take a picture.

Beth: Okay.

Graham: ♪ I'm cool like that ♪

Come on, lean into it.

All right.

Lean and smile.

♪ Cool like that, I'm cool... ♪

Rawr!

(Laughs)

♪ She innovates at the sweeta cat naps ♪

♪ He at the funk club with the vibrate... ♪

Hey, I've hardly seen you tonight.

Hmm, well, maybe if you weren't up Natalie's butt all night, we could hang out more.

What are you talking about?

(Graham sings)

The music is so loud!

Oh, come on!

I told you we're having a party.

Hey! Who do you think you are coming in here, telling us how loud we can be?

(Slurs) I mean...

This is America where we're free.

And, um, it says in the Constitution that we have the right to do whatever the hell we want to do.

Actually, I have a Masters in History and it do...

Whatever!

I was a poli-sci major. What did you major in, huh?

Being a nerd? (Laughs)

Am I right, people?

(April laughs)

(Laughs)

Oh, okay.

All right, come with me. Come on.

Excuse me, thanks.

Whoo!

April, what is going on with you?

You're embarrassing yourself.

Me?

Yeah.

You're the one dancing around like some trashy girl from Florida.

Okay, what is your problem with Natalie?

Hmm, let's see. For starters, she kissed my ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, your ex-boyfriend.

And it was an honest mistake, by the way.

Was it an honest mistake when you lied to me about going clubbing with her the other night?

And thanks for the invite, by the way.

Wait, why would I invite you?

April, we went to the same club earlier that night.

And you wanted to leave.

Well, I'm sorry, Beth.

Is my cancer inconveniencing you?

You know what?

It is, actually.

Well, I'll just get out of your way so you can enjoy your party.

Really, April?!

You're gonna make me feel guilty after how much I have been there for you, taking you to doctors appointments, staying in whenever you don't feel like going out, and literally dropping everything the second that you need me?

I get it.

I'm a huge burden.

Oh, my God!

I'm not talking about you right now.

I'm talking about me!

For once!

I need time for myself too.

Then it's a good thing you found your soul mate in Natalie.

Have fun taking dumb selfies together.

(Students chatter)

Everyone, grab a seat.

Sit down, please.

Good morning.

It seems we have our first anonymous...

Question.

(Paper crinkles)

"This is a cry for help... "

(Mouths)

"I am a bully.

Whether it be name-calling or making up websites, I'm constantly harassing innocent people.

Behind the long black hair, designer clothes, and nail art... "

(Students mutter)

"I suffer from extremely low self-esteem.

I just can't stop tearing people down.

I think it's the reason my boyfriend, the captain of the lacrosse team,

broke up with me... "

It is.

(Laughter)

Shut up!

Brenna: We get it, Shelby. Your low self-esteem makes you feel like you need to demean people in order to lift yourself up.

But the first step is admitting that you have a problem.

Good for you.

(Students mutter)

(Laughs)

I got you a coffee and...

A breakfast burrito!

Shh.

For my favorite lush.

Thank you.

Wait, where were you last night?

What do you mean? I was at the party.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Just kidding.

I'm sorry.

No, no, work got...

(Mutters) Busy, you know.

And I was tired.

But I knew you got wasted from all the spelling...

I don't think I have that much to drink since ever.

Oh, and Beth and I, oh, we had the worst fight.

I mean, we don't fight like that.

Have you talked today?

I texted her that I was gonna take a walk by the wharf around 4:00 if she wanted to talk.

All she wrote back was "K."

Hmm.

That's it.

I don't know if that's, "K, I'll see you there" or "K, have fun, nice knowing you."

You know, I guess I'll just show up and hope that...

(Groans)

(Gulps)

I'm gonna be sick.

Uh, you know, I think she had food poisoning.

(Laughs) Food poisoning.

That girl is hung over.

She made mac' and cheese at 1:30 in the morning, loudly and messily.

(Chuckles)

So did you have fun at the party?

Oh, I ended up not making it.

My first day at work last night.

Oh, that's great.

Not really, actually.

I was thinking about what you said at lunch the other day.

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

That was...

No, no, no, no.

I think you were on to something.

When I found out that I had a tumor, it was basically a death sentence.

So I didn't worry about my future.

Um...

I never thought about a career, made no plans.

And...

Well, now that I'm not dead, I... I have no idea what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life...

Like at all.

It's okay not to know right now.

You just got to remember you're lucky. You're alive.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

And time is finally on your side.

It'll all come together.

I hope so, because I completely lost it and blew up at a customer last night.

It scared me, actually.

Well, let's talk some more about that.

(Ford laughs)

Ugh!

I thought I smelled blah.

I'll meet you after school.

Give her a black eye, and I'll buy you a massage chair.

(Gags)

I made Shelby take down the site.

Speediness is not your forte, but thanks.

I guess.

(Bell rings)

(Sighs)

Don't you have class?

I don't feel like going.

I think I'm gonna go get some food.

Do you want to come?

I, um, probably shouldn't miss anymore school these days.

All right, then I will see you later.

(Women chatter)

Okay, I was so drunk last night.

I don't even remember half of what I said.

I do.

I was crazy. I admit it.

Yeah, you were kind of crazy.

I'm sorry.

I've just been freaking out lately.

You know, I feel like I'm gonna miss out on my twenties because of this cancer thing.

And it's like now's the time in our life when we're supposed to be going out and getting crazy and I can't.

And it's hard for me to watch you do things that we used to do together with other people, like Natalie.

I don't get why you compare yourself to her.

I mean, you two are so different.

I know.

But she's kind of living the life that I would be living if I didn't get sick.

You know, she's kissing the guy I used to kiss.

She's running all over Boston having a great time.

And she gets to be your roommate.

And you guys are getting closer.

And, you know, it's like...

She's an alternate-universe me.

April, no, she's not.

And she's not replacing you, okay? At all.

I mean, yeah, I have fun with her.

But you and I are like so much more than that.

Even if I have to have a night out with someone else just because you're not feeling up to it, that doesn't mean anything.

And you know what? When you are up to it, and you will be someday, you're always invited.

So just stop stressing out.

God, I love you.

K.

(Both chuckle)

See, I knew you were gonna call me out on that.

Well, yeah.

(Laughs)

Why would you even text that?

You know I can't stand one-letter responses.

I know, I know...