01x04 - I Am a Bird Now

[bunniefuu]

"And then, upon taking my position at the rear of the establishment, I heard g*nf*re."

Lieutenant Backstrom?

Yes, madam chairperson.

You're simply reading from your statement.

That's because my statement is what happened.

The veracity of your statement is exactly what this committee is questioning, so we'd prefer if you put it aside and answered our questions.

sh**t.

No pun intended.

On march 25th, you lethally sh*t a van named Eugene Lawrence Visser.

Forensic evidence indicates you then sh*t yourself in order to justify this use of your deadly force.

[Sighs] Do you deny this allegation?

Which allegation... that I sh*t a man, or that I sh*t myself?

You know we have the power to find you in contempt?

I did not know that.

Yeah.

Did you know... that a sh**ting panel found that I conducted myself with valor?

Gunpowder residues indicate that you were sh*t at point-blank range, yet you testify that Eugene Visser was "at least 25 feet away."

You can't have it both ways.

So you should stop messing around and tell us how the forensic evidence could be incorrect, not behave in a way that suggests you are guilty of excessive force, perjury, and tampering with evidence.

So the question remains, did you sh**t an unarmed man?

Everett?

Man: Call an ambulance!

Amy: Everett.

Man: Coming through.

Can he hear me?

I believe so, Ms...

Gazanian.

Detective Backstrom's fiance?

10 years ago... belive me, that ship has sailed.

[Groaning] Your heart rate appears stable, but we must transport you to the hospital to rule out a cardiac event.

Wait, he had a heart att*ck?

Moto: Whoa. Is the lieutenant okay?

'Cause we need him at a crime scene.

He had a cardiac event.

I'm fine. You are not fine.

Your body has made a decision your conscious mind refused to make.

Yeah, my body made a decision...

I didn't like your low-carb, low-fat diet.

Out of my way. Come on, Moto.

He needs to go to the hospital.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but I take my orders from the lieutenant.

Dr. Deb: Stop.

You are leaving AMA... against medical advice.

Moto: Are you sure you're okay?

Backstrom: I'm fine. [Clears throat]

Oh...

Nice ride.

If you're the grim reaper.

It's a '64.

My father had one just like it.

Was he a preacher or a pimp?

Uh, a little of both.

This car is registered to Jason Allen Rose, age 23.

The back window was sh*t out with a large-caliber w*apon.

Techs found a b*llet hole in the dash, nonlethal amounts of blood, a pair of high heels... no driver.

Some kind of botched kidnapping?

Okay, we need to lock down the perimeter, search cars heading out of the area.

What?

Where are you going?

Victim was a female, took off her shoes in order to run.

I say we find her.

[Birds calling]

Niedermayer.

[Sighs]

Cold and dead.

Okay, call Jason Rose.

Ask him how long ago his one-night stand took off with his car.

Uh... Lieutenant...

The victim is male.

Look past the pink.

Backstrom: Oh.

I'm gonna require penile verification.

Okay, wow.

Whoa. That is very, very male... packing heavy, too.

Cause of death?

It's a through-and-through g*nsh*t, again from a distance.

Bangs. What's with them?

Psychologically, bangs can be an expression of doubt... a half-raised curtain concealing what she lacks the courage to reveal.

Okay, or it's just a haircut.

What does this have to do with anything?

I'm declaring this a hate crime against the gays.

It's not the gays... just gays.

Oh, uh, cross-dressers are not necessarily h*m*, sir.

And it's way too early to declare this a hate crime.

Gravely... this man was hiding behind a curtain at half-mast, pretending to be a woman.

Everybody hates it when a penis pops out of nowhere, and especially a crazed lunatic who he... she... he...

Penises generally go with "he."

Who he could not outrun.

It's a solid theory.

This particularly generous penis... makes this a hate crime.

Oh, nice to see you recovered so quickly from your heart att*ck.

Don't give me another one.

What heart att*ck?

Everett feigned a coronary to avoid finishing his testimony.

Backstrom: I had an actual life-threatening asthma att*ck.

Dr. Deb gave me an inhaler.

Lieutenant, until you testify, the district attorney cannot prosecute any of our other cases.

There's more to policing than convictions, Gravely.

Huh. I could've sworn that protecting the public by putting bad people in jail is pretty much the whole job.

[Sighs]

Come here.

That is why you called this a hate crime, so that it would take precedence over the civilian oversight investigation.

How dare you insinuate that I would put my own petty needs over the gays.

It was a hate crime.

It was a hate crime?

Yes.

The gay half of this city is living in terror.

Okay, you know that half means 50%, right?

The world seems half-gay to me.

You ever kissed a woman?

[Chuckles] It's called college.

Mm. And summer camp.

Ho, ho. That's hot.

I'm s... uh, I apologize.

Uh, detective Almond wants me to let you know that the victim's aunt is here.

So sorry.

Amy: Everett...

I understand if you have to prioritize a hate crime, but... eventually, you have to appear.

S01E04
"I Am a Bird Now"

Christina: Jason's mother was my sister.

Her and her husband d*ed in a plane crash when Jason was 10, so he came to live with me.

Mm. I'm sure he was grateful.

[Voice breaking] He was.

He was like a son to me.

It was just the two of us.

So there was no man in your life?

Don't you dare suggest that the reason Jason was gay was that I never married.

So he was h*m*.

Jason would've referred to himself as "pansexual."

So, basically massively gay... like Elton John-gay.

That would explain the bangs.

Bisexuals... you just can't trust them. They'll lie to anybody.

Would you tell us about Jason's life when he presented as a woman?

Why?

Because he d*ed as a woman.

Oh. Huh.

Jenna appeared right around, uh, the time he was 16.

And you have to understand, for his generation, it's not a drag-show performance... the world's a stage.

Uh, last year, he started his own blog.

Oh, my god, a blogger... another motivation for m*rder.

Why? Everybody who ever met Jason loved him.

Do you mean that literally?

Would you say Jason had a lot of sexual encounters?

In the past, but he was young.

In the past?

What changed?

Recently, he seemed settled down, starting seeing a nice man named Marcus. [Sighs]

Oh.

They were getting serious.

I'm a blogging stud muffin.

Who's more likely to k*ll me...

#buttboy136 or the man I'm supposed to love and cherish?

[Door opens and closes]

I've found the Jenna Rose blog very informative... like this tutorial, "how to make a smoky cat-eye."

Yes, I see that.

But she did reveal many personal details about her wheres and whens, and her final comment was this...

"Bye-bye, bling. Sad-face emoticon, happy-face emoticon."

Maybe she had a stalker.

Well, her blog was seeing heavy traffic... close to a hundred grand page views per day.

So, it will take me some time to sift through all the suspects.

But I have been using her computer and her cellphone messages to make a list of all her likely sexual partners.

Wow.

And this one...

Ah, this one is the special one aunt Christina was talking about.

The two had many texts and... and sexy snapperchats.

"Marcus Lester, aka 'Maura Less.'"

Americans.

They make sex so complicated.

In Europe, a man in chiffon is just another man.

Or another bridesmaid.

Exactly.

Exactly.

[Scoffs]

Hey, you know, I think you got it confused.

I mean, who sits in the backseat of a car like it's a limo or something, like I'm driving you to some fancy party instead of to a crime scene?

Yeah, this whole "driving Miss Daisy" thing is, uh, embarrassing for both of us.

You know what I'd do if I was you?

Get out of that uniform and make a name for yourself.

Yeah, that's fine with me.

When are you scheduled to appear before civilian oversight?

Tomorrow.

And since I didn't see anything, it won't take long.

One good way to get out of that uniform... see things that need to be seen.

Hmm.

Yeah. That's heavy.

That's real heavy. [Sighs]

Niedermayer: Jason Rose was traveling approximately 40 miles per hour in the Westbound Lane when... bam!... A 30-30 b*llet smashes the back window, grazes the victim's ear, penetrated the dashboard, coming to rest in the engine block.

Now, Jason swerves, crashes through the guardrail.

He's dazed.

He looks, and he sees the assailant approaching on foot.

So he exits the vehicle and he flees down the embankment, toward the river.

Now, the k*ller sh**t again.

We don't know how many times. He picked up the casings.

But one b*llet hits Jason in the back, penetrated his heart, k*lling him instantly.

How much artistic license are you taking here, Spielberg?

He's copying you, lieutenant, only with forensics instead of people.

But it was a hate crime, right?

No.

No?

No.

So, someone hunted down a boy dressed like a girl with generous genitalia and kills them.

How is that not a hate crime?

Lieutenant, hate crimes, they tend to be, uh, personal, brutal, symbolic.

This... this was detached.

This was a k*lling from afar by a sn*per on a lonely highway.

The victim was either chosen randomly or specifically hunted.

Or you could be wrong about the whole thing, Mr. Know-it-all.

Moto: Psst!

[Sighs]

If it's not a hate crime, then the lieutenant can't stall the civilian oversight anymore.

Hmm.

[Sighs]

Um, if it wasn't a hate crime, lieutenant, what would it be?

A robbery.

There's a key broken off in the glove box.

Where did you find the car keys?

We didn't.

Because the k*ller threw them away when he couldn't get inside.

Which is why we have a locksmith waiting for us back at the impound lot.

We don't need a locksmith.

We don't need a locksmith, Moto.

Oh.

[Grunting]

Oh, yeah.

Moto: Look what we have here.

Appears to be a, uh, soda bottle, silver-plated?

That is the gayest thing I've ever seen.

Possibly the "bling" that Jenna had to say goodbye to.

That was an awesome piece of deduction, lieutenant.

Slain for a gay artifact. [Sighs]

Definitely a hate crime.

[Air horn blows]

Valentine: I was hoping you'd be assigned the Jenna Rose case.

You know him... her?

Know of, maybe.

So, let me guess... you think someone out there is targeting men who dress like women?

They're called "transgenders."

No, they're not... transgender involves changing a lot more than your clothes.

What is this?

This evidence or something?

Possibly.

You know anything about it?

Well, I'm familiar for free.

If you give me 100 bucks, I'm a font of information.

I got $90.

It'll do.

Behold... the world-famous platinum-plated soda bottle given to Joan Crawford as a christmas present from her fourth husband, Alfred Steele.

It's legendary in certain circles.

Yeah, gay circles.

What other circles are there?

Ah! The h*m* holy grail... exactly what one gay would k*ll another gay for.

Can I borrow it?

Why?

There's a candlelight vigil for Jenna downtown, and I'm on the prowl.

Nothing makes men hornier than death.

I'll give you your 100 bucks back.

No. This is evidence in an ongoing homicide investigation, not some magnet for butt hookups.

Funny. You're so funny.

I'm going to the vigil... undercover.

That is not happening.

Why?

I could be a gay bear.

"A"... it's just "bear."

And, no, you cannot.

I would be a very good bear.

And "b"... having you in the room will cramp my style.

If I see you there, I will point and scream, "cop."

What if I bring somebody for you?

Mm...

No.

I wouldn't want to risk that. I have very high standards.

Wow.

[Indistinct conversations]

So, that thing you did today at the crime scene...

The reenactment of the m*rder?

Yeah. Can you do it again?

For when the lieutenant sh*t Visser?

No.

Uh, the evidence is congruent with too many permutations.

You mean like nobody really knows what really happened?

Yes.

Huh.

The lieutenant's story is at variance with forensics.

Yeah, but what do you think happened?

I wasn't there, but you were.

You been summoned?

Yeah.

And he's hinting that he wants me to go in and back up his story.

I've never known Backstrom to hint, but he does know that an eyewitness account trumps forensics every time.

Okay, so you think I should help him out?

Uh, if a tree falls in a forest and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yeah.

[Chuckles]

Well, the same argument can be made about the truth.

It exists, regardless of the perception of a witness.

[Cellphone ringing] Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I know you trying to help me out, Niedermayer, but it's not working.

[Chuckles] This is Niedermayer.

Backstrom: Drop what you're doing.

We're going to a candlelight vigil.

Wear your usual gay stuff.

[Indistinct conversations, pop music plays]

Attaboy, Niedermayer.

Way to play the insider card.

Insider?

Come on.

You're a confirmed bachelor, you're dressed like GQ, you read poetry and listen to string quartets.

Okay, priority number one... find Marcus Lester.

Second... identify any former contacts.

That's David Kettering, aka "Mabel Stirrups."

Uh... The guy with the black jacket with the white collar, he's on the suspect list.

What?!

He's my informant. He lives in my basement.

You live on a barge.

You millennials are so literal.

I paid $200 for a tip, and make sure I get reimbursed.

You two go do kettering, and by "do," I mean...

Backstrom: don't.

[Chuckles]

Excuse me. Oh, god.

You had a relationship with my m*rder victim.

Relationship?

No, we had sex.

You want details?

Yes. No!

I [Groans]

You're on the suspect list.

What?!

Yes.

Then remove me.

I can't just remove you.

Look, you can trust me to tell you the things you need to know and, more importantly, to not tell you the things you don't.

Detective Backstrom, is that you?

Oh, thank you for coming.

It's good to know that you not only care about finding the k*ller but you care about Jason as a person. Yeah.

Isn't it true that murders have to be solved within the first 48 hours?

Yeah, that's true for regular cops, but not for a special-crimes unit.

Even a hate crime?

All right.

Listen up, uh, everybody.

This is officially not a hate crime.

[Crowd murmuring] Okay?

Hate crimes are usually personal, brutal, and symbolic.

Excuse me. No, this was nothing but a botched robbery.

The k*ller was after this.

[Crowd gasps]

That is evidence.

You cannot carry that around in your grubby pant pockets.

This evidence is flypaper, okay?

Watch the gay k*ller stick.

[Clears throat]

You know, you look like someone took a cowboy and turned him into a model.

Hmm.

Okay. Well, thanks.

Backstrom: Hey, Niedermayer.

Please tell me this is who you brought me.

Uh, I think you were given the wrong impression.

[Sighs] What's the word from the "lipstick yeti"?

He has an alibi.

And as soon as he found out I was a cop, he wouldn't tell me where I could find Marcus Lester.

Would my impression be more accurate if I got the sasquatch to tell me where to find Marcus Lester?

Absolutely.

Thank you. [Groans]

I'm looking for Marcus. Do you know where he is? Oh. Sure.

I think she's... she's in the back over there.

Jason and I were in love.

Till you found out he was cheating and you k*lled him.

Right. It's always the wife.

Wait. You're the wife?

I thought the pretty one was always the wife?

So, you were aware that Jason had other sexual partners?

There's physical fidelity and emotional fidelity.

It's only the latter I care about.

[Sighs] Jason and I had plans to get married.

What more do you need as proof of commitment?

What about this?

Is that what I think it is?

We found it in Jason's car the day he was m*rder*d.

Do you know where he got it?

No. Not from me.

That's evidence.

I'm a rat-faced podiatrist in love with a beautiful boy who gets fabulous gifts from better men.

How do I keep him close?

I get him pregnant.

Okay, lieutenant, Jenna was a convincing female, it's true, but it's...

You were gonna buy a chinese baby.

No.

Guatemalan?

We were planning to adopt.

Same difference.

We were consulting with lawyers.

They did a complete investigation into our relationship.

May we have your permission to speak with them?

Be my guest.

[Sighs] I hate questioning lawyers.

Yeah, I need someone better anyway.

Better?

Almond: Show me the path where I should walk, o lord.

God has a grand design.

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

But still, he has granted us the power of decision.

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

You decided which shoes you were gonna wear this morning, didn't you, son?

Woman: Yeah, that's right.

Christ...

Christ will help us with these decisions.

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

He will be the guide.

Luke 11.9...

Jesus tells us, "keep seeking, and you shall find."

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

"Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you." [Knocking on pulpit]

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

All you have to do is ask.

[Congregation agrees indistinctly]

Moto: You're pretty good at this.

Almond: Well, next time, come earlier. [Laughs]

Backstrom wants you to go talk to the victim's attorney.

On a Sunday?

Wait a minute.

Why me?

Well, he said that... asians are terrified of black people and missionaries, and you're both of them.

[Laughs]

Han: Jason and Marcus were very serious about adopting a child.

When we heard Jason was dead, our first thought was that poor Marcus might k*ll himself.

Is that why you bring a minister with you on these calls?

Well, actually, I'm...

Marcus is fine...

Perhaps a little too fine.

In fact, we were starting to think maybe...

You don't suspect Marcus of k*lling Jason, do you?

Uh, uh, uh, that's just not possible, r-right, Lindsay?

Ma'am, I know that sometimes it's hard to point fingers.

Well, I would say, like most of us, Marcus has a dark side.

You mean a dark side aside from the side that wears women's dresses?

You're hiding something.

Your bangs betray you.

Pardon me?

Um, what's he doing?

Lieutenant?

Vintage.

You wear pearls, the same color lipstick...

Pink dresses.

Yeah, that is interesting.

W-what's interesting?

Well, it appears that Jenna had appropriated your wife's personal style.

She didn't appropriate you, too, did he... she... he?

You didn't k*ll Jason for inappropriately appropriating your husband, did you?

What?!

Are you insane?

I would never do that, and I liked Jason.

No, you didn't.

Gay boys always date asians in high school, before they find themselves and start breaking hearts.

You do know we're lawyers, don't you?

Asians and fatties... or both.

You know... big asians.

How much did you weigh when you were 16, like 170, 180?

I need to ask you to leave.

Sore spot, huh?

You know if you don't talk to one of us here, we'll have to ask you to accompany us downtown.

Pastor Almond, we'll speak with you, but he has to go wait in the car.

I'll go wait in the car.

So, what happened?

Backstrom was right.

She dated a boy in college who came out of the closet and broke her heart.

And now this one sleeps with her husband.

No.

She slept with him.

So she was a lesbian.

Her husband didn't know anything about it, and she'd like to keep it that way.

She only told me because I'm a minister.

You did that on purpose.

Did she admit to giving him the silver soda pop?

Okay, who is "she" now?

The lawyer. And, no, she didn't.

And I'd appreciate you not using my sacred calling in this way in the future.

What, god doesn't want you solving crimes?

Well, of course he does. Just ask me.

It's too much trouble. Just drive.

Okay.

Hey, Moto.

Yes, sir.

What's this?

That is my recollection of me sh**ting Visser in my own words.

Feel free to use that as a memory aid.

Well, about that, sir, uh... uh, I'll get right on it.

When you talk to the press, I am the one that gets in trouble with the chief.

Backstrom: Listen up, uh, everybody.

This is officially not a hate crime.

It is your job to get in trouble, and that's not the press, that's Tilda Swinton with a smartphone.

The public is the press, and now that this is no longer a hate crime and there has been a lag in the investigation, you have plenty of time to appear before the civilian oversight committee.

Anytime there's a lag in the investigation, we redouble our efforts, Gravely.

[Hesitantly] Okay.

Good morning.

Will you stop stalking me?

Not until you complete your testimony on Visser.

I was.

It's just that... and Gravely can back me up on this... we are hot on the trail... Gravely.

Everett, you have a tell.

It's not subtle. When you're guilty, you avoid.

You're avoiding.

Is this whole thing about the time I took 20 bucks from your purse and never paid you back?

Yes, Everett, you got me.

Really?

I [Sighs]

Good.

Now come in and pay the rest of your debts, or I'm gonna have to ask the chief to suspend you for not answering a summons.

[Sighs]

Nadia: [Sighs] Mm.

It sounds good to me.

Yeah, but I didn't see it with my own eyes.

These are not my own words.

So, make it your own.

What...

Backstrom is your superior, yes?

Yeah.

Then you do what he tells you to do.

What's the problem?

I mean, I guess when you put it like that, but I just hope you're right.

Moto, I'm always right.

[Chuckles] You're welcome.

Yeah, I know.

Uh... hey.

You heard my sermon.

The eighth commandment tells you, "thou shalt not bear false witness."

What Backstrom's asking you to do is perjury.

Niedermayer said that the truth is the truth whether I saw it or not.

[Chuckles] Oh. Okay.

The Bible versus Niedermayer... no contest.

There are better ways to get out of that uniform.

Tell me one.

Do good work, don't complain, take your responsibilities seriously.

I've done that, and it's gotten me nowhere.

This is my chance!

This is not a chance, Moto.

This is temptation.

Big difference.

The victim's computer has software to track her blog visitors, so I selected the repeaters and identified their I.P. addresses.

How do you connect an I.P. address with a person?

You need a few hundred warrants.

Next!

I have also been tracking Jenna's bling.

So, it was first auctioned in New York in 1978 after Ms. Crawford's death, and then again in 1992, in Miami, where the bids topped 20,000 grand.

Why would the gay holy grail leave Miami Beach for a town that's 50% heterosapien?

Mm.

The legitimate auction trail is cold.

But the rumors say it circulated the Portland black market this year.

Black, as in afro-american?

Black, as in the illegal sales of stolen property.

The next item up for auction...

900-count kids/toddler baseball caps, cotton-poly blend.

Let's begin the bidding at $25.

If you're gonna stay, be quiet, keep your hands down. [Auctioneer calling]

That silver soda phallus is the most likely motive in Jason/Jenna's m*rder.

This is a lifetime supply.

$75 now in the front row. [Sighs]

Going once, going twice...

$200. $200.

Stop it. I don't want damn baby hats.

It was on the black market.

Anything that's on the black market, you know about.

$300 for the baby hats.

$300, gentleman in the last row. All right!

And now $325...

I got the soda for a steal.

I had a buyer... some old queen... but I gave it to Jason instead.

You gave it to him? What, are you in love with him?

In love? How long have you known me?

This qualifies as one of those things I deserve to know.

I was doing a favor for a very high-powered, very closeted friend of mine who Jason was...

Insert verb here.

Insert was the verb.

[Laughs]

So Jason got the bottle, my friend got silence... bang... everybody's happy.

This old queen, is he the type to k*ll to get what he wants?

[Scoffs]

I don't know.

Why don't you tell me?

You already talked to her...

Jenna's old flame, David Kettering.

All that's gonna cost you another hundred.

$350. $350!

[Gasps] Thank you, sir! Oh. Sold.

Sold to buyer number 186! [Sighs]

I was binge-watching the second season of "Homeland" the day Jenna was k*lled.

But you were waiting for the silver bottle to show up, weren't you?

"Bye-bye, bling. Sad face, happy face."

Yeah, I was gonna buy it.

I never had the chance.

There's a g*n registered under your name that's the same caliber w*apon that k*lled Jason Rose.

[Scoffs]

I'm from Idaho.

Everybody hunts... even men in dresses.

I'm you.

One pull of the trigger, that bottle is mine for free.

Then why would I tell you she was coming over in the first place?

I didn't do anything.

You taught Jenna Rose how to wear dresses like a girl, didn't you?

She was my protage.

But you look nothing like an actual woman.

Jenna was gorgeous.

The student surpassed the master.

Yeah, 'cause this rich japanese lawyer bitch took her shopping all the time.

[Laughs]

You turned Jason straight!

[Laughs]

Well, actually, into a lesbian.

Jenna was having an affair with a woman.

So?

Left you out in the rain with your torn fishnets and your saggy bra...

Shut up!

An angry, hirsute Buffalo Bob...

How dare you?!

Too ugly to ever fit in...

You shut up now! Shut up, shut up!

No matter how much money you were willing to spend.

Shut up! [Shouts]

Shut up! [Gags]

Shut up!

[Panting]

You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer.

[Coughs, panting]

Officer Moto?

Yes.

To minimize an esophageal edema, I am giving you an anti-corticosteroid inhaler, which means if the chief asks if I prescribed an inhaler...

I'll be telling the truth.

Thanks, Deb.

Did I have a heart att*ck?

Am I gonna die?

Chest pain, racing heart, a feeling of impending doom... what you are experiencing is called a panic att*ck.

The body makes a decision.

Exactly.

I beg of you, Backstrom, change your ways, reform.

Start with telling the truth about what happened when you sh*t Visser.

Hey. You can't talk about that.

That's violating patient confidentiality.

I can talk about it to you as your doctor.

If you go in and tell the truth just once, you will find a huge burden will be lifted.

I'll lose my job.

It's just a job.

Call, call, call.

Call, call.

It's the oversight committee.

I can give you a pass for today with the caveat that you go home and carefully consider...

No, no.

The bruises might gain me some sympathy.

[Sighs]

Amy: Thank you for coming in.

I understand that you were injured in the line of duty.

I'm fine. I'm ready.

What do you want to know?

Our investigation is closed.

What?

I don't even get to explain my side of the story?

Officer Frank Moto stepped forward with an eyewitness account that corroborates your official statement.

The committee thanks you for your time.

Were you actually about to tell us the truth in there?

[French accent] The moment has passed.

We will never know.

You'll be in front of the committee again.

Take care of yourself, Everett.

[Normal voice] Amy.

You know I've never k*lled a man before.

I swear to you, god's truth, that sh**ting was justified.

Everett, I'd like to believe you're telling the truth, but one thing I've learned over the years is, you don't really do that.

I can tell the truth just as good as you.

Yeah.

You look like you dye your hair from a bottle of "soccer mom number 45."

Well, you were 10 times better-looking 15 years ago.

Huh. Your toes look like the fingers on a monkey's hand.

[Laughs]

Oh, really? Are the ladies still lining up to see that pearl jam ass tattoo?

Around the block.

Your brother slipped me the tongue at your grandmother's funeral.

I was the one who bet him that you'd go for it.

[Laughs] Mm.

That's a lie... total lie.

You would never dare another man to take a run at me... never. [Chuckles]

I always know when you're lying.

The sh**ting was justified.

I might've mucked things up afterwards, but it was 100% justified.

You miss me, Everett.

Absolutely not.

[Sighs]

Lieutenant.

I got to go...

You were right.

Right about what?

Well, sometimes, you said the victim was hated for being gay and others, that he was hunted for robbery.

Well, turns out it was both.

One I.P. address started showing up only recently on the victim's blog three days before death, but over 100 times.

Stalker, tracking over-shares.

"Bye-bye, bling."

Mm-hmm.

It's a man named Wayne Combs... ex-m*llitary, did a five-year sentence for assaulting a gay soldier.

Have Gravely bring him in.

Okay.

I'm a latent-h*m* hillbill who finds a boy online prettier than any real girl.

I'm going to prison for life, which may make me change my whole take on man sex.

I'm a soldier...

Almond: Wayne Combs.

Fire-team leader...

Red-blooded-cowboy type, strong and silent.

Operation Desert Storm.

The b*llet from the dashboard of Jenna's car matches the r*fle we found in his place.

I been in worse kinds of hell than you can even imagine.

Uh, I'm you.

I'm a good soldier, I'm a good planner, I'm careful.

I got the whole thing worked out... location, line of fire, target, objective.

I knew the bottle was in that car, and I wanted it, and I was willing to k*ll a girl to get it.

[Chuckles]

She wasn't a girl.

'Cause I would never k*ll a girl.

That's right.

Meaning, I knew it was a boy... the kind of boy that deserved to be k*lled.

You said it, not me.

[Sighs]

You wing her, she crashes, she runs away.

If this was really about the soda bottle, I wouldn't have bothered chasing her... meaning the bottle was payment.

The whole point was to k*ll Jason. Why?

I'm you.

I bear no personal grudge.

She lives in a different world.

It's nothing to do with me.

I'm not a robber, I'm a soldier.

I'm an assassin.

Aah!

You were hired to k*ll Jenna Rose.

I suggest you contact a lawyer.

Why?

A lawyer will advise you to tell us who it was that hired you to k*ll her... possibly avoid execution.

Was it him?

No.

[Sighs]

No.

[Sighs]

What?

Unh-unh.

Who is it, then?

You're Jenna Rose. Who wants you dead?

I'm Jenna Rose.

He wants me dead.

I'm a sex-starved wife with a half-hidden wild side and an Ivy League husband who's smart enough to see the truth about me.

That's him, isn't it?

You have to say it out loud.

That's the man who hired me to k*ll Jenna Rose.

Thank you.

[Sighs] [Doorbell rings]

Henry Han, you're under arrest for the m*rder of Jason Rose.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have a right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.

Do you understand the rights I have read to you?

Yes.

You perjured yourself.

[Clears throat]

I called it how I saw it.

You won't have a very long career if you start adopting his values.

He catches more bad guys than anyone.

Now, that's a high calling.

Backstrom got you to perjure yourself under oath.

He made you a bad guy.

[Laughs]

Being good isn't about following the rules, detective.

We're all still here because of me.

We pulled a m*rder*r off the street because of me, and all our old cases are back on the books again because of me.

You've got good intentions, Moto.

No, I'm not talking about my intentions, I'm talking about my actions, okay?

Someday, you're gonna wonder to yourself if I'm somebody you can count on, and now you know you can.

[Air horn blows]

We're so happy the police finally found the k*ller.

I mean, it was the scariest thing.

Gender-nonconforming people face such an elevated risk of v*olence.

In this case, we actually get closure.

[Sniffing rhythmically] We won't get Jenna back, but maybe this will not happen to somebody else.

[Speaking indistinctly]

Valentine: [Slurring] Ah! Well... [Door slams]

♪ Tha-a-a-ank you! ♪

My God, this thing's a charm!

It's like black magic!

Ask me how much I got lucky tonight.

Ask me, ask me.

[Continues sniffing rhythmically]

Ooh, what are you doing there? Cocaine?

Uh, quiet. I'm doing serenity.

Oh, I see.

Dragon breathing.

Hey, do you ever dress up like a woman?

That's the thought you can't fight when you meditate, me in a dress?

What do you look like as a girl?

I tell you, my friend...

I am a real beauty... all cheekbones and attitude.

[Button clicks]

Huh?

The body makes a decision the conscious mind refuses.

[Button clicks]

[TV clicks on]

Hey.

[Sighs]

I'm really glad that you caught Jason's m*rder*r.

He was a good guy.

And girl.

[Sighs]

You can show your gratitude by giving me my share of that thing when you sell it.

And what if I don't want to sell it?

I'm you.

Eventually, I get tired of everything and everybody and sell it out for a profit.

You have the same disease.

Everybody does.

[Sighs]