07x13 - White Orchids

Complete collection of episode transcripts for seasons 1 - 7. Aired: September 2008 to February 2015.*

Moderator: Maggiemay19

Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

A famous "psychic" outs himself as a fake and starts working as a consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation so he can find "Red John," the madman who k*lled his wife and daughter.
Post Reply

07x13 - White Orchids

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ The Mentalist 7x13 ♪
White Orchids
Original Air Date on February 18, 2015

[ Ducks quacking ]

Woman: And sign here...

Patrick: Mm-hmm.

...and here...

And here...

There.

...and here.

Okay.

Yeah. That's it.

It's all yours.

Now, usually this is where I hand over the keys, but there aren't any.

[ Both laugh ]

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You're very welcome.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

You Agent Tork?

Yeah. You guys done looking around in there?

'Cause we're just sitting on our hands out here.

There's nothing we could find.

It's a mess in there. But the structure's sound. Your people can go in. Have fun.

Thanks.

All right, listen up.

It's been reported there are two bodies in the basement of this house.

There may also be evidence pertaining to as many as 10 homicides committed by the recently deceased individual known as Lazarus, real name Joseph Keller.

We want to put these cases to bed, so that means break out the fine-toothed combs.

Let's go.

[ Exhales sharply ]

How's your head?

Oh, hey.

Hi.

It's fine.

Ears are still ringing a little, but, uh, just getting ready for the remodel.

I brought sandwiches.

Those are the magic words.

Come with me.

[ Insects chirping ]

Is it me, or does it seem like the house slants a little bit to the left?

Optical illusion.

You're not wearing your wedding ring.

I'm not married.

The ground is slanty, so it makes the structure look like it's leaning, but it is, in fact, not.

It's just an optical illusion.

Slanty, huh?

Yeah. Technical term.

This ring has been with me for a very long time, and, uh... it has obvious significance with my past.

It also represents... meeting you.

If I didn't have this ring, I would never have met you.

So in a sense, uh... It has the potential to represent my future, as well.

And I-I'm not expecting you would ever wear it, but I want to share it with you, and... I want it to represent our future...together.

I want you to be my wife.

Will you marry me?

Okay. [ Laughs ]

Yes, yes. [ Laughs ]

Yes? Excellent.

[ Laughs ]

I'm glad that's dealt with. I was a little nervous.

Oh, come on. You knew I was gonna say yes.

No, even after all these years, you're still a mystery to me.

Oh, yeah?

[ Chuckles ] Thank you.

Hey, guys, how's the Lazarus case going?

Keller's house is being processed right now.

Tork's on the scene.

We're just squaring away the paperwork.

Oh, good. Good, good, good.

All right.

Do you guys need anything? Can I help?

Mm...No, not really.

Look, you know, old job's over.

New job hasn't begun.

You know, I'm just spinning my wheels here. [ Chuckles ]

[ Knock on door ]

Hey.

Hey, guys.

So, um...We wanted you to be the first to know.

Um...Yeah.

We're getting married.

Hey!

[ Laughter ]

I told you.

No, you didn't.

Congratulations.

Oh, man!

That's wonderful.

That's awesome. - Thank you.

When's the big day?

Eh, no big day. I don't want any wedding fuss.

Oh, we're just gonna slip away quietly in the next couple of days.

All right. [ Chuckles ]

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
it's not unusual to have fun with anyone
but when I see you hanging around with anyone
it's not unusual to see me cry
I want to die

[ Groans ]

It's not unusual to go out anytime

Woman: Hi. How are you?

Woman #2: Good. How are you?

Good.

[ Cash register whirring ]

[ Indistinct conversation ]

But when I see you out and about, it's such a crime
If you should ever want to be loved by anyone

Thank you.

Have a nice day. Thank you.

It's not unusual, it happens every day

[ Bell jingles ]

Oh, my lord. Sir?

I'm good. [ Sighs ]

That darn barbecue, I swear.

[ Sniffs ]

These are two for one, right?

Yay! Hey-hey! Hey! That's awesome!

Yeah!

Hey, even this guy's happy about it, right?

Whoo! Yeah, congrats.


[ Baby cries ]

Whoa!

Oh, hi!

Hey. Hey! Congratulations!

Somebody went number two.


Thanks.

Ohh, yeah. All right.

Uh, so, anyway, did you tell -- uh, did you tell Tommy yet?


Eh, he's chasing a bail jumper in Alaska.

I left him a message.

Eh, well, you snooze, you lose.

We're gonna miss him at the bachelor party, though.

There is no bachelor party.

We're getting married the day after tomorrow, just me and Jane and the Justice of the Peace.

No big wedding, no guests.

Uh...Oh.

But...family, right?

Yeah, family.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

No, it's just us. We want to get married quietly.

Well, so, we'll be quiet.

But we're gonna be there, T. I mean, no argument.

Hey, Stan, hold it. It's her deal, her choice.

You know, she wants to do it that way, then let her do it. What are you saying, you mook?


Guys, come on.

If we're not there, mom's gonna spin in her grave like a freaking crankshaft. Oh, my God.

She'll be crying for shame that our sister, our only sister --

Oh, would you can it, please, Stan?

Teresa just said she don't us there.

Why would you want to be there if she doesn't want us there? I mean --

You're a sad, bitter man, Jimmy Lisbon.

Well, I-I smile through it. don't you ever --

I smile through the sadness.

Stop it. He's doing it again.

I got stronger, though. Ever since he was a little kid --

Ohh! It's just -- it cuts to the airflow!

Yeah.


Don't worry.

Don't worry about what?

You're worried that I'm gonna be upset because you invited your brothers to our marriage.

How did you know that?

When we're married, do you think you might stop asking that question?

It's okay, isn't it? They're family.

Thank you. It means a lot to them.

Of course.

[ Sighs ] Since my brothers are coming, it feels... funny not to invite just a couple of members from the team.

No, no. You know what? You're right. We should keep it small -- small. Just my brothers.

Eh, fine. Invite away.

We're gonna need a few more guests just to dilute the alcohol content.

Thank you.

Just three or four, though.

Where do we draw the line?

Well, that's why we decided not to invite anyone.

I know. I know.

I'm sorry.

It's just -- here we are.

[ Laughs ] Here we are.

What? [ Laughing ]

Oh, look, I'm just gonna surrender to fate, all right?

So be it.

Big, huge, massive wedding.

No, just 8 or 9 very close friends at the courthouse -- 9 or 10, and then we can go to O'Malley's bar afterwards.

12 tops.

Or we could go to a restaurant. No big deal.

It's not like we're hiring a caterer.

We don't have a gift registry or anything.

Sure. Okay.

Where are you going?

Well, I have to get you a ring.

I already have one.

That is for us.

You need one for you.

I do?

You do.

All right, well, shouldn't I come with you?

Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?

No, I think we'll waste time bickering.

Besides, I have better taste.

You think you do.

You'll see.

N-nothing too gauche.

Bye!

Hey, boss.

Hey.

[ Laughs ] The less I have to do, the more coffee I drink.

So, do you and Lena want to come and watch us get married?

Oh. Uh, Lena went to a trade conference in Prague, but, uh...You know, I'd be honored.

I thought you guys weren't having any guests.

Well, we kind of changed our minds.

It's just gonna be a few people -- a dozen, 15.

All right. I'm there.

Where and when?

We don't know yet.

It's nothing fancy.

Oh, well, you have to have it at our house. I insist.

We have the perfect spot for a casual wedding.

Really?

Hmm. I'd be thrilled.

That is so nice of you.

[ Chuckles ]

What's up? Some surprise, huh?

I didn't see the wedding thing coming.

It wasn't that hard to guess.

Something on your mind?

No.

Actually, yes.

Someone might get in touch with you about me requesting a transfer.

I just wanted you to hear it from me first.

A transfer where?

Salt Lake.

Office there is starting a cyber-crime initiative.

They're looking for people.

It's desk work, but it's more my speed, I think.

Uh, let's face it, I didn't do that well when we were going after Keller.

It's not easy being in the bullpen.

Michelle's desk is right there, and...

Anyway, I think a change of pace would be good.

Plus, you're gonna be rebuilding the team.

This will pretty much give you a blank slate.

Come here.

What?

Come here.

Ow!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

No, I'm not. You are.

You made some mistakes going after Keller?

Welcome to the club.

I bat .300 on a good day.

You miss Vega.

Now remember who she was.

She'd never run away from a challenge like this, and neither should you.

[ Sighs ] And you're right.

I have to rebuild the team, and I want to start with people that I know and trust.

So stick around.

Or what, you'll hit me again?

I'm asking you to stay, Wylie.

Okay.

Okay, good.

Check in with Tork.

I want to know what's going on at the house.

Sure.

And Cho...

Thanks.

No problem.

This is the ring we sent you a picture of.

It was my grandmother's.

Anne's dad gave it to me to propose with.

Which is sweet, but it's not really me, you know?

So we thought maybe we could take the diamond out, put it in a necklace or something.

Of course. Uh, may I -- may I see it?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, let me get my loupe.

We'll just need to take a closer look at the stone.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm helping another customer right now, sir.

FBI -- give them back their ring right now, or I will be forced to sh**t you.

Don't worry. Just kidding.

I don't even carry a real g*n.

I have a lot of close friends that do, though.

What's happening?

All will be revealed. Their ring is in your right hand.

Uh, sir, you've made a mistake.

We've got the ring right here.

Uh, that's a replica.

A...replica?

He did a French drop to swap the valuable ring with a cheap replica.

French drop is a sleight-of-hand move. Not important.

That ring never belonged to your grandmother, and it's not a real diamond.

Is that true?

Of course not.

He would study the ring that he just gave you, then break the sad news that your grandma's ring is a phony, and you'd be none the wiser.

[ Laughs ] This is insane.

Then you won't mind opening up your right hand, will you?

Open up your right hand, please, sir.

Holy moly.

Well, thank you for your assistance, folks.

I'll take it from here.

Uh...

Don't worry, ma'am. The real ring is in your hand.

Good day to you.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

So, my crooked friend, today is your lucky day.

Is it?

[ Door closes ]

Well, on a normal day, you'd be off to the pokey now.

But as it happens...I'm in the market for a diamond ring.

Oh.

Oh.

So show me your very best selection, please.

And, sir, if I see any glass... The cuffs will come out.

Nothing too gauche.

[ Knock on door ]

What's up?

Tork just called in from the crime scene.

No intact corpses in the basement, but a lot of body parts, badly b*rned and fragmented.

Have them rush the DNA tests.

Pull some strings if you have to.

Why the rush?

Still got a lot of media interest.

The bosses want to be able to announce we got the guy.

For that, we need a coroner's report, so let's get on it.

Okay, right away.

Hey, did Abbott give you the news?

Hey.

We're having a real wedding at his house.

He did.

You're gonna be there, right?

Of course.

I could use your help with something if you're not too busy.

What's that?

[ Sighs ]

What do you think?

Makes you look short.

Snow cone.

Slutty elf.

You want a simple piece with clean lines, maybe something vintage and off-white.

What he said.

Thank you for doing this.

I asked you along 'cause I thought you'd be honest.

I had no idea you were such a fashion expert.

Not me.

My mom could run up a designer gown before breakfast, cut her cloth by eye.

Cool.

My mom had a sewing machine, but it was always in hock.

She'd be very proud of you.

Looking like this?

Very proud.

Thank you, Kimball.

[ Insects chirping ]

All right, good night, Wade, and, uh, tell Shaniqua I said thanks for the fan mail.

[ Keys jingle ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Alarm chirps ]

[ Chuckles ]

Excuse me.

I-I don't have any change, man.

Oh please, hey, hey, hey!

Hey. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Uh. [clears throat]

Chill it.

You can take it.

You can take it. Here.

Get in the car.

Do as I say and you won’t get hurt.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Insects chirping ]

Keller: Stop the vehicle. Very slowly. No one gets hurt. Put the car in park and get out.

[ Gear clicks ]

Easy.

[ Seat belt clicks ]

Easy.

Give me your phone.

All right.

No problems.

What's the passcode?

There isn't any.

Wallet.

Look, uh, I only got about 20 bucks in it.

And, uh... [ Clears throat ] Would you let me keep my driver's license?

I-I don't want to have to go to the DMV.

Sure.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Thank you.

[ Thud ]

[ Scream ]

No! No! No!

[ Grunting ]

No! No! No!

[ Screams ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Dialing ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Tork.

Patrick Jane, please.

Um, sorry. He's not in.

This is Dan Glover from "Austin Today."

I interviewed Jane recently about this whole Lazarus case.

Sure. I remember you.

I just want to do a quick follow-up. Is he available?

I'm afraid, uh, you're gonna have to wait a few days on that.

He's out of the office for a while.

Can you tell me where I can find him?

It'll only take a few moments.

I'd say he's pretty unfindable at the moment.

He's getting married in a few days.

Married?

Yeah.

I can, uh, take a message, tell him you called.

No, no need.

Okeydoke.

[ Beep ]

Huh.

Woman: Sign right there.

Oh, if I just remembered how tedious this aspect of the marriage is, I might not have asked you.

Shush.

No, seriously. I'm only on page two.

You know, I could just give you the ring and we could elope.

Don't be mean. No take-backs.

I could give you this, and we could be in Fiji by nightfall.

There are people coming. We are getting married, damn it.

Suit yourself.

You got a ring?

Yes, I did.

Mm. You gonna show it to me?

You want to see it?

Show me.

Uh, unh-unh, unh.

I'll take this, and you'll fill all of this out.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

[ Snorts, laughs ] Oh, my God.

It's not real.

You scared me. It's funny.

Of course it's real.

It's real?

Real.

Oh, my -- are you out of your mind?

You like it?

Well, it's gorgeous, but it's too much.

I-I can't accept it.

You can accept it, and you will.

It's yours. I want you to have it.

What is the Justice of the Peace's name?

Emily Hamilton.

"Emily Hamilton." Oh, my...

All right, let's file this sucker.

All right.

We'll need confirmation that the ceremony's been performed within 72 hours, or you will need to refile.
Congratulations.

Who said romance is dead?

I can't take this.

No, not yet you can't.

Well, at least let me try it on.

Not yet.

We don't even know if it fits!

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Lisbon, hi.

Yes! Wylie, did we invite you yet?

No, not yet.

Well, here it is.

Abbott's house, 12:00 Saturday.

But try not to spread it around.

We want to keep it small, and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

I got you.

Is there a gift registry?

Uh, no gifts.

Is there a trousseau?

I don't know. What is that exactly?

Never mind.

Y-you're coming back to work, right? Here?

[ Laughs ] Yeah, I think so.

Why are you whispering?

Lisbon, hey.

Someone's trying to reach you?

[ Chuckling ] Oh, my God.

Hey, boss. Hi.

I'll talk to you guys later, okay?

It is so good to see you guys.

Right back at you. [ Chuckles ]

Well, the news is spreading fast through the CBI grapevine.

It's true, isn't it?

It's true.

Oh, well, we had to call and say congratulations.

So, you and Jane, huh? We always knew.

We always knew?


I always knew.

How are the kids?

Uh, sticky, mostly. The kids are great.

I know it's short notice, but you guys have got to come out for the wedding. It's Saturday.

Oh, my gosh, of course. We'd love to.

It will take a little child-care juggling, but we can swing it. You know, worst comes to worst,
we'll just bring the little monkeys with us and keep them locked in the rental car.

[ Scoffs ] Will not.

I'm kidding.

Child: Mommy!

[ Laughs ]

[ Groans ]

No, but seriously, we wouldn't miss it for anything.

I got to go.

We'll see you soon.

All right, I'll send you the details.

Great. Take care.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

Okay, you guys are all set.

It should be in the mail three to five days.

Thanks.

[ Pen clicks ]

[ Keyboard clacking ]

Excuse me. I need to fill out a marriage license.

Um, usually there's two of you.

She's running late. I'll get started.

Okay, well, uh, paperwork is in the end tray.

Just fill that out.

We need both of you here, plus I.D.

I see. Will do, thanks.

[ Telephone ringing ]

City clerk's office. Please hold.

Thanks for holding. Yes, how may I help you?

No, ma'am. You can't file online.

Until 6:00, but we're closed -- okay, bye.

You're welcome.

Looks like she stood me up.

Bad omen for a wedding, huh?

Abbott.

Can I run something by you?

Yeah, sh**t.

Spot DNA test came back from the Keller house.

So far, all the recovered body parts belong to Joe Sr. -- None for Jr.

They found his g*n, but not him.

[ Sighs ] Oh, damn.

It could be that he was at the epicenter of the expl*si*n and was vaporized, but there's a strong possibility that Keller, a.k.a. Lazarus, is still alive.

Damn.

I let Austin P.D. know, and we're putting out a BOLO to all the local hospitals.

Wylie's putting together a k.a. list, and I'm gonna have agents set up shop at all of them.

Well, did you put out a wire just in case --

He runs for the border, yeah.

All right, well, it seems like you have everything handled.

I don't know if I should tell Jane and Lisbon.

Good question.

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

We don't have enough to be sure.

And, you know, they're in a good space right now.

If Lisbon found out that this case isn't closed, it's likely that she'll cancel the wedding and join the hunt.

Yeah, there's plenty of time to tell them after.

But...if he's still alive, you know, Keller's unpredictable, and Jane did try to k*ll him.

You know, just in case, why don't we put some bodies at the wedding, just to keep an eye out.

And it's my house, so I'll arrange it.

You sure?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's something to keep me busy.

Okay, thanks.

Abbott said it's totally up to you, but that you'd probably prefer to hold the ceremony outside, and there isn't really a room inside big enough.

Well, how many people are we talking about?

Oh! A lot of people are talking about it.

Well, we only invited like 15 people.

Mm...more like 25 or --

I know.

And I don't think people are waiting for, like, a printed invitation... seeing as there isn't one.

But, hey, o-on the plus side, you're popular, girl!

Is that what all these tables are for?

Yeah, Abbott thought they'd be useful. Don't worry.

He's covering the rental... and the bartender... and the caterer.

I guess they're his wedding gift. I don't know.

Hey, here's a menu.

There's a caterer?

Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

Abbott's loaded. I mean, look at this house.

I think his wife cleaned up in the private sector.

Wow.

Here we are.

Hey, everybody out.

Hey, Teresa!

Hey!

We're here!

Hey-hey!

T!

[ Laughter ]

Hi!

[ Chuckling ] Wow!

You all came!

So many people.

Yeah, hey. Sure we came. We're gonna let our sister down?

[ Laughter ]

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Yeah, hey, guys, say hi to your Aunt Teresa, all right?

Hi!

Hi!

Who is this?

Oh, T, this is Lucy, my fiancée.

Aah!

Lucy, Teresa.

I am so freaked out to meet you at last.

We're gonna be sisters! Yay!

Yay!

It's a long story. [ Chuckles ]

So, you're all here. Welcome to Austin.

Thanks.

Yeah, it looks like we brought the weather with us.

FBI! [ Laughs ]

Sorry, I'm freaking out right now. [ Laughs ]

Yeah, we got that.

Excuse me?

You all came.

Yeah. Already said that, t.

Jason: Let's go in!

Jason! Jason! Come here!

Yeah! Okay.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

[ Chuckles ] Yay.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Knock on door ]

Uh, excuse me, sir.

We have an odd coincidence...

Or not. Maybe.

Austin P.D. got a missing-person's report on a local television reporter named Dan Glover.

The one that interviewed Jane.

Yeah, left work Thursday night, hasn't been seen since.

The weird thing is, he called here right around the time he was last seen. I spoke to him.

He said he wanted to interview Jane again, and I said he was unavailable because he was getting...married.

So, you're not even sure if you spoke to Glover?

No, I mean, I was certain at the time.

Obviously, it was his caller I.D., but now --

So, we have to assume the k*ller's alive and looking for Jane.

How many agents are you gonna have at the wedding?

Four, but now I think we should probably have more.

At least 10.

We're gonna need eyes on the front and backyards and the surrounding neighborhoods.

We should have a chopper on standby in case we need to pursue.

Yes, sir.

But wouldn't it be wiser to just postpone the wedding?

Postpone the wedding?

We're the FBI.

There is that upside.

We can use the wedding as bait...kind of.

I'm gonna go check on that chopper.

Still think we shouldn't tell Jane and Lisbon?

We're the FBI.

Just like you said, we can handle it.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Patrick: Abbott.

Hmm? Hey.

[ Telephone ringing ]

What were you and Cho and Tork huddled about?

Nothing special.

Nothing special that's keeping you here when you could be in Prague with your lovely wife?

[ Chuckles ]

You know, she doesn't need me around.

I...I get in the way.

[ Laughs ] You're lying to me.

I won't pursue the point because you would tell me if it was something important.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course.

I-if I thought that it was something that we couldn't handle.

Ah.

You know, um... I've been getting some calls about you, and my bosses want to know if you're sticking around.

That's a good question.

Mm.

All right, well, no pressure.

But if you're going, there is some legal stuff that we need to handle to expunge that deal that we made.

The napkin?

Mm-hmm. [ Laughs ]

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Mm-hmm.

Then I'm building a house, and...beyond that, I genuinely have no idea.

And I can't do this job forever, but it's gonna be tough to give up.

Yeah, it's hard giving up making a difference, huh?

No, everyone makes a difference.

Hard to give up the chase.

Oh, yeah.

That it is.

[ Chuckles ]

So, you, uh, let me know when you know.

I will.

It has been very good working with you, Patrick.

You too, Dennis.

I really appreciate your honesty.

I love you for that.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, you got me. I was lying.

There is something I need to talk to you about.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sniffles ]

Hey.

Hi.

Nice flowers.

Mm.

They're centerpieces.

It's a Sylvan theme.

Sylvan theme.

All right. Cool, I guess.

How many...people are actually coming to this thing?

Nobody knows exactly. [ Sighs ]

Okay.

[ Crying ] How did this happen? This is not what I wanted.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Well, I like the Sylvan theme.

We should have just eloped like you said.

What about your family?

Oh, they wouldn't care.

I just talked to them at the hotel.

They found a minibar.

They're like cavemen arguing over a dead antelope.

All right, well, uh... Let's run, huh?

We'll tell nobody, just the judge.

I'll have her meet us at our little cabin tomorrow morning.

The cabin?

Just us.

What, you think the judge would do that?

Well, sure.

I mean, she's driving in from San Antonio tonight.

Change of venue makes no difference to her.

Well, what about the witnesses?

We'll get someone, a park ranger.

[ Chuckles ]

You know what? Let's do it.

Yeah.

It's our life, damn it.

Yes.

I love you.

Thank you.

I love you, too.

Hey, there's a --

I'm gonna go get my dress, and I'm gonna go to the Airstream.

I'll meet you there.

Well, there's another very good reason why we should elope, all right?

Keller is apparently still alive, and he's mad at me for some reason.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, so Cho and his people are gonna stake out this house.

When Keller shows up, they'll nab him.

You were gonna withhold this information from me?

You were gonna deprive me of a guilt-free elopement?

I just told you.

You almost didn't!

From now on, we need to be 100% honest with each other.

I agree with you 100%.

Okay.

Honesty.

I am gonna go... Get my dress.

Fire up the Airstream.

You go, girl.

Hi. Judge Hamilton, Patrick Jane.

Uh, there's been a change of venue.

Okay. No problem, Mr. Jane.

If you just text me the exact address and perhaps a decent motel nearby.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Great. Bye.

[ Door closes ]

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Birds chirping ]

We got four agents on the roof, five dressed as catering and valet service, six on the perimeter, and six undercover mobiles covering the approach roads.

When the guests get here, I'll gather them inside and explain the situation.

Most of them are law enforcement, so they'll understand.

What is it, Wylie?

Office got a call off the BOLO from a clerk at the south Austin registry office.

A man with extensive burns came in yesterday and pretended to fill out a form.

The clerk thinks he may have taken a peek at the marriage-license forms on her desk.

So that confirms it. He is coming to the wedding.

Well, we got it covered.

Why are you so anxious, Wylie?

I know all the state forms from when I used to work downtown.

The marriage-license form doesn't ask where the wedding is.

It just asks who the officiant is.

Well, that's the judge.

Yeah.

[ Ducks quacking ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

Hey, you.

Patrick: Hi.

Wow.

Well, no matter what happens, from this point on, we have to promise each other that we will always look on the bright side.

I promise.

Me too.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ g*n cocks ]

Freeze! Drop the g*n!

[ g*ns cocking ]

[ Handcuffs clicking ]

And see how much better things turn out when you're honest with me?

Thank you.

Let's do this.

No hard feelings.

[ Sighs ]

Patrick, do you take Teresa to be your lawful, wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?

I sure do.

And, you, Teresa, do you take Patrick to be your lawful, wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?

I do.

Then by the power granted me by the state of Texas, I declare you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen, Patrick and Teresa.

[ Earth, Wind & Fire's "September" plays ]

[ Whistles ]

Aah! [ Laughs ]

♪ Do you remember the 21st night of September? ♪
♪ Love was changing the minds of pretenders ♪
♪ while chasing the clouds away ♪

Who wants to hug me? Come on.

Ohh! [ Laughs ]

♪ Our hearts were ringing ♪
♪ in the key that our souls were singing ♪[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪ As we danced in the night ♪
♪ remember how the stars stole the night away? ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ba de ya ♪
♪ say, do you remember ♪
♪ Ba de ya ♪
♪ dancing in September? ♪
♪ Ba de ya ♪

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

♪ Never was a cloudy day ♪

[ Scatting ]

♪ My thoughts are with you ♪
♪ holding hands with your heart to see you ♪
♪ only blue talk and love ♪
♪ remember how we knew love was here to stay? ♪
♪ Now, December found the love that we shared in September ♪

How you feeling?

I am so happy.

Me too.

Me too.

[ Cheering in distance ]

There's something I need to tell you.

[ Insects chirping ]

No, you're -- you're kidding me?

I'm not kidding.

You are?

I am.

[ Both laugh ]
Post Reply