01x03 - Rehabilitation

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Big Time in Hollywood, FL". Aired March - May 2015.*
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This TV show focuses on two filmmaker-wannabe brothers who must learn how to fend for themselves after their parents kick them out of the house.
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01x03 - Rehabilitation

Post by bunniefuu »

Announcer (V.O.): Previously on Big Time...

We want you boys to move out and find jobs.

You gotta be addicted to dr*gs!

You gotta be addicted to dr*gs!

You gotta be...

No, no, no...

It's the truth, I'm hooked on dr*gs.

Oh!

No!

Your family wants you to go on a little vacation to our rehab facility.

Diana: How did this happen?

Ben: Del.

Del?

Detective, this is my family. What am I supposed to do?

Here's a private investigator I can recommend.

Harvey Scoles... hello?

Now that Ben is gone, I feel that it's my duty just to stay here and...

Oh, good! Your movers are here!

What the f...

Jack: (V.O.) Dear Ben...

(DIANA SOBBING)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Jack: (V.O.) I can't believe how fast life moves on the outside.

It's hard not to feel lost out here in all this chaos.


(TIRES SCREECHING)

I got an apartment... and a job bagging groceries.

I do the best I can, but it's too much for me sometimes.


Woman: Tell your man to double bag.

Last time he didn't double-bag and the bottom near came out.

Make sure you double bag like the lady says, you understand?

Yes, sir, I sure will.

Jack: (V.O.) I have a hard time sleeping at night.

I wake up thinking I'm seeing you in the shadows... hoping you're watching over me.

But you never are.

I'm just not happy here... and I'm tired of being scared all the time.

I've decided not to stay... but I doubt they'll kick up any fuss.

Not for a nobody like me.


No.

Jack: (V.O.) Love, your brother...

(NECK CRUNCHING)

Jack: (V.O.) Steve.

Ben: Steve?

(ROPE CREAKING)

Excuse me, um, I'm waiting for a letter from my brother Steve.

Uh, my name is Ben Mitchell.

No.

All right, well, thank you so much.

Oh, hey, buddy, what do you got there?

You got a little letter?

♪ Rainbow whoa oh whoa oh ♪
♪ Rainbow


Diana: Honey, I'm looking forward to getting to know this area.

There's a place where you can have Chinese food and doughnuts.

And you can get your checks cashed just down the street.

Yeah, and there's a prison right next door.

(PRISON SIREN WAILING)

Oh, Jack... now, honey, I know this is gonna be different for you... but I know you can do it, buddy.

Yeah.

And when Ben gets out of rehab, he'll move in here with you... and it'll just be like old times.

Not if I hang myself.

(STRUGGLES)

Okay, okay, that's it... that's everything, Jack.

So, honey, I think we'll just be on our way?

Okay... bud, you know, your mom and I... we're just a phone call away.

Just a phone call away.

And you know something else?

I think that once you settle in, you are gonna like this place.

It's got great character.

(GLASS SMASHING)

Sure does.

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

Sure does.

And who knows? I bet you'll be bringing a lady or two back here in no time.

Yeah, I'll make sure she has an extra bus pass... you idiot.

Honey, come on, let's go, we gotta b*at the traffic.

Go... you wouldn't want to be here at night.

Well, we'll see you Sunday for dinner, right?

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

Whatever.

Love you, honey.

What'd you say that for, about the ladies?

Because I slipped a disk and hurt my back... and I wasn't thinking.

Diana: Well, how's your groin?

Alan: Bad.

We had been there for weeks and, uh... a... at some point, I misplaced my cr*ck pipe.

Or maybe it broke, I, uh...

I don't quite remember that part.

But what... what I do remember is... my buddy's body had, uh, atrophied... you know, gone through that atrophy process... and, uh, I was fiending pretty hard... but, uh, I didn't have a pipe... no pipe.

So I, uh, I sort of, uh... sort of jimmied his head off.

Yeah.

Off of his body, kind of hollowed it out.

I mean, using some simple carpentry techniques... that I'd learned back at Mr. Yost's shop class.

And, uh... god, it's... it's gonna sound so crazy... when I... when I say it out loud... but I... I proceeded to smoke cr*ck out of his skull... and that was my lowest moment with dr*gs.

(PEEING)

(SIGHS)

Oh! H... hey.

It's so good to have you here.

(PEEING STOPS)

All done.

(PEEING STARTS, STOPS)

Diana: Alan, Jack needs a car.

Diana, we've been through this.

Well, what's he supposed to do, take a bus everywhere?

I mean, it's just not practical.

Well... you know, I was thinking... that maybe he could get a job with Del at the Big Deal Mart.

Oh, you want Jack to work with the person... who was responsible for getting Ben hooked on dr*gs.

Now wait a minute...

Do you know what the police told me?

They told me that Del might be a criminal.

Well, that's loony tunes!

It's possible!

That's why I think we should hire a private investigator.

Just to be safe.

Hire a private investigator?

Diana, I just finished paying first, last and a security deposit on Jack's apartment... then you start talking about getting a car.

I mean, this is bullspit!

Oh, oh...

You are hittin' the pockets too dang hard!

All right, fine, whatever... but could we just agree... Jack needs a car.

(MEN LAUGHING)

Exactly! If I was a woman, I'd be banging every dude I met.

Buh-buh-buh-buh...

I hope I'm the first guy you meet!

(INDISTINCT)

I'll bang you.

You know it.

Oh, god, look at this [BLEEP]ing assh*le!

Easy pickin's.

Hey!

Hey.

I'm Ricky.

I'm Alan.

Pleasure.

I'm your man.

Ricky: Pleasure to meet you.

Alan: Thank you, sir.

(KNOCKING)

Scoles: Christ... one minute!

Come in!

g*dd*mn...

Mr. Scoles?

That's me.

I don't know how much longer I can take it out there, Ben.

I am freaking out!

Yeah, well, I don't know how much longer I can take it in here, Jack!

Okay, I'm not gonna argue with you about who has it harder, because I am going to win! All right?

But what about celebs? Have you met any celebs?

No, I haven't met any celebs.

Is that Jeff Bridges?

Jack, there's no celebrities here!

Although I did meet this amazingly nice man... who smoked cr*ck out of his best friend's skull... and a charming lady who made me pee into her cupped hand.

I swear to god, I think that's Jeff Bridges.

That's not Jeff Bridges! I was almost r*ped in the bathroom, Jack!

Ugh...

What is this? They feed you here, too?

You don't understand!

Like what is that?

Is that TV just on all the time?

Always... but, they don't give us the remote.

So what?

Excuse me, Mr. Dolfe, but it's almost nap time.

Okay?

You son of a bitch.

I gotta go.

You gotta go take a nap?

Female on p.a.: Attention, residents, don't forget, it's free Massage Day.

What is this place?

So, we got the Technology package; that's ABS, anti-lock brake system.

Power window, power lock, 12-disc CD changer.

Bluetooth, wiper fluid and a steering wheel... all for $2,600. Wow.

That... that really sounds great, but like I told you before...

I really don't need the Bluetooth.

Oh, yeah, oh, right, no Bluetooth, of course.

We'll get the... oh, you know what? No... agh!

Crap! It's a package thing.

Look at that. It's just part of the deal.

You just gotta take it, I guess.

Yeah, that's fine.

So I don't want the package.

Oh, yeah, no, I totally get it. You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna go talk to my manager.

See if I can't get him to slide on that Bluetooth.

Thank you.

He's a stickler, but I'm hard on him.

All right? I'll be right back.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Congratulations, Alex!

Thank you.

My manager can throw in a free lube job with the package.

Seventeen-six out the door.

Yeah, don't want a lube job, don't need Bluetooth.

I just want the car as is.

I hear you loud and clear. I totally get it.

You know, I'm gonna go talk to my manager right now.

See if I can't get this old blowhard to close this deal right now.

Stop hassling us around, huh?

Yeah.

What do you think about that?

Appreciate it.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Diana: I'm Diana Dolfe, we spoke on the phone last week.

Scoles: Sure, have a seat.

Thank you.

Oh, is that your doggy?

Oh, yeah, he's uh, Wolfie.

Oh.

Man's best friend.

(GIGGLES)

He's dead now.

So what's on your mind?

Uh, well, I've never done this before.

I don't even quite know what I'm expecting, so...

Why don't we start from the beginning?

Good.

Yes, so my son has been hanging out with this Del friend of his since he was a child... and you know I never thought much of it, but um...

Turns out that Del... got my older son hooked on dr*gs... and he might have been working with a drug dealer.

So I was thinking that maybe you could, um, you know...

Send him on a vacation.

What?

You know, like...

One of those.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm just kidding.

Oh! Ah...

It's a joke! I'm just joking.

I don't k*ll people any more.

So he's about 6'7", about 340 pounds, yeah?

No, I think he's about 5'5", maybe 180.

Really? Well, that's... must be the perspective on the photo.

Yes.

An Asian thing.

I don't think he's Asian.

Listen...

I'm gonna find out everything I can... and believe me, if this guy so much as sneezes... you're gonna know about it.

Well, that's wonderful. Thank you.

And just one more thing, Mr. Scoles... could we keep this business just between us?

Because, you know, my husband, um... really doesn't understand.

Say no more, Mrs. Dolfe.

Discreet's my middle name.

Well... good.

Thank you, Mr. Scoles.

Well, call me Harvey.

Okay, well, we'll... we'll talk again soon, Harvey.

Okay, Del, focus.

Okay.

I gotta get into that rehab, so here's the plan.

Step one, you go buy me dr*gs.

What kind? I don't care.

Ugh... dr*gs.

Step two, I take all of those dr*gs.

Oh, Jack...

Step three, after I pass out, you check me into Ben's rehab.

It's pretty freakin' simple, my friend.

Where do I get the dr*gs?

I don't know!

Does it look like I have a map... with all the locations of the drug lords?

Just go to a bad part of town... find the most dangerous-looking guy and say...

"Hey, do you have any dr*gs? I'm Del, look at me. Check me out."

What the [BLEEP] do you want, you little [BLEEP]-ass, fat piece of [BLEEP] [BLEEP]!

Do you have any dr*gs? I'm Del. Look at me.

Check me out.

How much you got?

$300...

Aight... I got something for you, little bitch.

Somethin' to let that beast out the cage.

You know what I'm saying?

Thank you.

Don't do it all at once.

I got you now, you fat, piece of [BLEEP].

Oh, excuse me, have you seen Ricky?

Listen to me, Del.

When you come in in the morning and I am passed out... you take me to that address and you give them this insurance card.

It's right here.

And one more thing, and this is very important.

Del, this is important. Del!

Lock the door behind you, and do not let me out... no matter what sound you hear, do you understand me?

I understand.

Here we come!

Whoa! That is good!

Ricky: No, no, no!

I'm gonna go out and give this man the deal he deserves!

If you don't watch it, I'm gonna [BLEEP]ing k*ll you.

I'll k*ll you, you bastard!

Look, Alice... I fought tooth and nail for you.

Frankly, I said some things to my boss that might get me fired, but...

Did you get braces?

I'm sorry, what?

Braces!

Did you just get braces while I was waiting here?

Are you a moron?

Yeah, yeah, I said I was gonna go talk to my manager... but instead, I went to my orthodontist, had molds made... and had braces put on, in what, less than ten minutes?

You've been gone for over two hours!

g*dd*mn it! Corey, get in here!

This son of a bit right here just accused me of ditching work to get braces put on!

Meanwhile, I got him the package without Bluetooth!

That really ticks me off.

These customers come in here, walk all over us.

We're just trying to get them the best deal... and you accuse us of getting a spray tan and a haircut?

assh*le.

Okay, look, I am begging you guys!

I am begging you, all I want to do is make a deal... and buy a car for my son.

That is all!

Well, yeah, that's what we all want.

Just sign right here.

It's a deal, my friend.

Thank you so much for coming in to Handshake Auto!

What a great day for you.

Nurse: Lights out.

Del: Jack?

(RETCHING NOISE)

Is everything okay, buddy?

Jack?

It's okay. Everything's fine.

Del: Jack?

Jack, you're really scaring me, buddy.

(GROWLING)

Jack.

Agh!

Jack! Jack!

(GROWLING)

Agh... no! Wha...

Anyone out there?

You okay there, mister?

No, come on.

No.

Hey, buddy!

(GROWLING)

No...

Did you hear me? I asked if you were okay?

No, no!

Mommy's home.

Rah! Agh!

I just love this time of year.

Oh, oh, this is such a beautiful piece.

Oh...

(HOWLING)

Oh, come on! Come on!

Arrh! Agh!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Arrh! Agh!

Oh, hi, Mr. Dolfe.

Is that... is that a new car?

I bought it for Jack.

Okay... okay, bye, Mr. Dolfe.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god, please help... I'm okay.

Can I help you?

There has been a huge misunderstanding.

What seems to be the problem?

Okay, I know this is gonna sound crazy... but listen, hear me out.

Okay.

I actually don't belong here.

What?

My brother and I are being kicked out of our house by our dad... so I lied and said I was a drug addict, even though I'm not... just so I didn't have to move... and in all reality, I'm just a regular kid from Florida... and I just want to go home and see my family.

So you have to believe me, please!

It's okay, sweetie.

We are going to get this all figured out.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hold on just one second.

Thank you.

Jack!

Jack?

Del... help me.

Okay, come on.

Come on, let's get you to rehab.

I think I ate a wolf.

Thank you so much for being understanding.

This night has been... it's been a nightmare.

Of course, of course, sweetie.

You know?

Let's take him back to his room and double his dosage.

Wait, what? No, no, no, no, what?

We can't help you b*at this until you're ready to admit you have a problem.

No, I don't have a problem. That's what I told you!

It's a misunderstanding.

No! No! It's a misunderstanding!

Call my brother Jack!

Shut the [BLEEP] up!

Junky assh*le.

Honey, you will not believe the day I've had today.

One of the all-time worst.

Alan: Diana?

I don't want to mince words, but, uh...

This situation is a lot worse than either one of us even knew.

Oh, look at that.

(GASPS)

Oh, do you think I should call the police?

Well, you know, if you really want to protect your sons...

I wish you would let me take care of it.

I have my own way of handling these things... and certain things I can do that the police aren't allowed to do... see?

But you're not gonna hurt him, right?

No, no, no, just, uh, gonna talk to him... and explain to him that he hasn't been a very good, little boy.

Okay.

By the way, I have a check for you.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh... thank you.

I'll give you a ride to the ATM.

Is this heaven?

No, sweetheart, it's rehab.

Yes.

No! No!

Yes.
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